689 thoughts on “Abuse – Turning a Blind Eye no More”

1. ‘To be absolutely honest I still am re-defining what is abusive every day.’ perhaps this process is forever unfolding as we deepen our knowing of what is not abuse and return to a way of living in accordance to all with are.

2. “… reacting to life, being emotional, indulging, seeking drama and blaming myself,” This used to be my life too. A big part of my own re-education has been in learning to not go into the emotional drama, but instead take a gentle breath in, feel the tension in my body and deliberately drop it. This choice alone has empowered me to put a stop to many an emotional paddy and ensuing sulk, which in turn saves heaps of time and energy for all concerned.

3. Turning a blind eye doesn’t make abuse go away … it continues until we are ready to face it or it makes us face it – so we deal with it eventually, even if its in another lifetime.

4. Abuse comes in many forms and guises… we need to be willing to see them all in every detail.

5. I have heard it said that one form of abuse is not honouring and adoring your partner 24/7. If that is the case pretty much most of our relationships are abusive. I can think of the many times I’ve complained to my partner about something he is or isn’t doing, and with resentment in my voice it’s definitely been abusive. Letting go of right and wrong and allowing people to be simply who they are and loving the inner being is where we need to be, not focusing on their behaviours.

6. “I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.” We can and do so easily harm each other with our expectations, demands and neediness. We are not here to fill up each other’s gaps but to learn how to express all our wisdom and grace, qualities that contain zero abuse and mountains of Love.

7. We all have free will to make our own choices in life, however, it’s important for us to understand that these choices will be influenced by what we are aligning to, energetically. Love – which we have constant access to through connecting with our body, or, when we resist this connection and feeling the love that we already are, we are aligning to the complete opposite to love. There is no middle ground for us to hide in, despite what we may think.

   1. To resist the love that we are is abuse.

8. It’s one thing to see abuse as just what hurts, but to truly view it means reading why and how it’s there and understanding its energy not any person.

9. It really is such an easy trap to fall into and that is to get totally overwhelmed by the abuse that goes on in the world as the list is infinite and it is only going to get worse unless we do bring it back to ourselves and start living lives as close to love as we can manage in this human frame of ours.

10. Imagine a person who has grown up in a Ghetto, where violence of all kinds is an everyday thing, then imagine this person gets out of the Ghetto, moves into a ‘better’ situation where there is still abuse going on but it is not often lethal and much less harsh. What if this person can’t even call the abuse, abuse because of the comparison, because it is ‘relative’ to an extreme… but what if this new situation is laced with abuse?

    What if we are all like this person, just on a less extreme scale?

    What if we have become so accustomed to levels of disregard and abuse (from our own thoughts to the outside world) in its many forms, from minor put-downs and swear words to the objectification of women’s bodies and the multiple every day situations that don’t honour what we need or how we feel that we can’t see that many things we accept as OK are actually harmful?

    What if all the little abuses we don’t see, all the abuses we ‘let slide’ as unimportant are in the way of us living the full, loving, joyful lives we as human beings could, in a lovingly supportive environment, naturally live?

11. It’s really easy to accept low level abuse when you look at the horrors that happen around the world. Too easy in fact. And it’s not until we realise that the low-level bits are what actually allows those horrors to happen that we will pick ourselves up out of this mess we’re in.

12. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” If we don’t reflect that there is another way then we are all down in the mud together.

    1. It may appear that no one is noticing – however, a different reflection on how to live in this word, especially one that emanates a different vibration, one of love and harmony, is very much noticed and felt. In fact, it is scrutinised, some will be looking for flaws and reasons why it is not true – but truth will always stand the test of time.

    2. And to live this light in all we do is the only ingredient needed.

13. This is such a great blog that helps us to identify where we have abuse in our own lives, either giving it or receiving it. It is a guide for relationships too, because of the way we are with our friends, partners, work colleagues – all the possibilities are listed there, such as the stony silence. I recognise the words ‘I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.’ Needing people to be a certain way – that is a big one to let go of.

14. If we were to deeply consider karma and reincarnation, we would certainly be reconsidering any form of abuse.

15. ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.’ Yes Anon, and so we need to redo what we understand Love to be and deepen everything from that place.

16. Anon, I love this; ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.’ It makes it so easy to recognise abuse when I read this and makes me realise how much abuse there is that we accept.

17. Since reading this article previously I have been aware of more subtle forms of abuse. I have felt how important it is to not accept this type of abuse, even if it is not as dramatic as some more obvious forms; as you say Anon if it is unloving then it is abuse.

18. The sense of apathy when it comes to dealing with abuse in society by society really exposes our claim to be a civilised society as part of the way we like to perceive our way of life which in truth is not as it appears.

    1. Nothing is as it appears, literally nothing.

    2. Very true Michael, there is an arrogance in how we regard ourselves as being the superior species on this planet. Yet how we treat each other does not reflect an evolved way of living, rather the opposite, with everyone taking care of their own self interests, rather than us caring for and showing consideration towards each other.

19. In all our relationships we need to be respectful and speak in tones that are not laced with judgement, resentment or any other emotion that would impose on the delicate beingness of another person.

20. Before the days of the internet, it used to be my weekend ritual to buy a couple of newspapers and read up on what was happening in the world. Now I get most of my news from listening to the radio to and from work, I like the news headlines as they are a statement of what is happening in our world without an opinion or if there is a comment by someone, it’s very clear that it’s their opinion or interpretation. I want to know what’s going on, however what I don’t want it to read someone’s manipulation of the truth to create a sensational story – that is abuse and a far cry from what true journalism is.

21. We are all sensitive beings an can feel abuse from the most obvious to the no so obvious either way it is the avoiding that truly hurts as it reminds us of how we have stepped away from appreciating the love that we all truly come from.

22. I agree, there is always refining and deepening in our being honest about what we know is abusive, I used not wear a coat in the cold, I do now, a simple example, and people may joke about it not being that significant, but to ignore our wellbeing and not keep warm is an abusive act, we undermine ourselves and if we are not holding ourselves in love, and this is not love and if it is not love there is an element of abuse in it to some degree or another.

23. Abuse is not as we like to see it, it is not just others and the most heinous crime is perpetrated by some one who was a child, and encountered rejection, violation and violent acts against them which has informed their experience of what is normal in life. It is shocking to know some one rapes or has been raped but there are many who are sexually abusive who may not or may rape. A leering look, a sexualised thought about someone all is abusive and not from love, anything that objectifies and attempts control over another is abuse. There are levels of it and we don’t like knowing that.

24. Then the decency and respect we share equally with all is a refection others connect to.

25. Abuse is often perceived as something that comes from outside us, towards us … however it is important to point out as you have done Anon that abuse can not only be what we accept from others but, importantly, how we treat ourselves.

    1. The level of abuse that we accept from ourselves sets the standard for what we then allow and accept from others.

26. Most get to experience some form of abuse every day, often just the subtle normalized ways like someone being emotional and reacting or impatient in traffic or a bossy manager etc. We cannot avoid receiving abuse or stop it every time and still need to find a way to handle it without taking it on. Observation, reading and understanding the situation and the people involved is key to not taking it personally and keeping it where it comes from. Nevertheless at times detachment is not enough and we need to speak up, intervene or step away from a situation. The better we know abuse within ourselves and are aware of our own abusive mechanisms the clearer we will be able to deal with abuse from the outside.

27. “Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply…” I look forward to this day but know that the future starts with me, right here, right now, learning to love myself deeply.

28. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” This is a gigantic sentence – not just in the conversation of abuse, but in everything. It’s huge in fact and exposes so much of the rot in society, with so many of us sitting comfortably in our own nests, turning a blind eye on what we see and then blaming others when something goes wrong, is it any wonder that the corruption and abuse can so freely procreate?

    1. When I was younger and there were bad things happening around me, I had confidence that the ‘grown ups’ would sort things out, bring about change, restore harmony. However, I am a grown up and have been for a very long time and I can’t say I’ve been enormously proactive in making substantial changes in my life, except for the last 10 years when I’ve realised that it’s up to us to be the change that we want to see.

       1. I’ve met young people who have done more for their communities than most adults I know.

       2. Absolutely Alison… we need to role model the change we want to see in the world – it is by our reflection that we inspire others.

29. If we address abuse with anything less than a firm, level and dispassionate approach, we are simply adding to the mix.

30. Another form of abuse is people posting your worst possible photo on social media and in the newspapers, deliberately giving the general public a false impression, usually a bad one.

    1. True. This is no different to spreading rumours or self perceived judgements. Our comments and actions always have the potential to sway others especially if they themselves do not choose to stand in their own discernment of who or what someone or something feels like for them.

       1. Which prompts the question – how much of what we ‘believe’ has come from our own discernment of the truth versus ‘agreeing’ with what others have told us.

31. This is a really interesting form of abuse from your long list of ways we can self abuse: ‘creating problems when there are none’, so in effect creating any kind of complication outside of the natural flow of any event or task, is a way to abuse/corrupt/disrupt/divert and and keep us from the ease, order and flow that could otherwise be.

32. ‘…abusive towards others from lack of understanding..’ feeling how far reaching this is reveals the depth of abuse that we live with in society.

    1. True… if we have true compassion and understanding for ourselves we will have the same for others.

    2. I feel lack of understanding comes back to our zest for things being ‘right or ‘wrong’ – we get too caught up on our justification of what is ‘right’. However, our baseline on how we view the world varies enormously depending on how we have been raised, our environment, conditioning, what has been accepted as normal and ok. Therefore, in recognising and accepting this, we allow the understanding that is key in all of our relationships and interactions with each other.

33. I feel appreciating our selves for everything that we already are is an important part in calling out any self abuse as it stops the judgment sneaking in, which then just keeps us in circulation energy with abuse. It’s truly revolting how manipulative the energy of abuse is, taking full advantage of absolutely any opportunity to crawl in through the tiniest crack.

34. ‘I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.’ – I have not loved and treasured myself enough to say no to abuse. By deepening my love for myself, any self abuse will be exposed, nominated and cleared out. This new standard that I set for myself will apply to every other relationship that I have – nominating abuse when it occurs will be easy, as the hate I have for anything that stops us from being the love that we all are will be too strong to let it pass. This is how I can take responsibility for saying no to abuse.

35. Abuse is disseminating lies when you know they are lies you are not checking for yourself whether they are lies.

36. Abuse is anything and everything that does not come from the love that we are. The only way to not register this, to ‘turn a blind eye’ so to speak, is to build a protective layer around us that not only stops us registering the abuse we receive, but is a form of abuse in itself as it prevents us from feeling and expressing the love we are and the love we receive. It is a form of security we seek that does not truly protect us from the horrors of the world but immerses us more deeply in them.

    1. ‘It is a form of security we seek that does not truly protect us from the horrors of the world but immerses us more deeply in them.’ Once this game is called out and we get to know and feel the implications and true affects, we’re able to spot where and how it’s being played out in our lives, and free ourselves from that un-loving posture towards ourselves.

    2. I’ve seen old people live in a way that they seem to be pushing toward the finish line (their death) as if they are trying to out-run the choices that they have made. “Get out of here quick before it all catches up with me”. The truth of reincarnation exposes the futility of this chase.

37. We harm ourselves more by not calling out abuse… abuse anywhere affects us all.

38. Pondering on how our withdrawal from life and people is abusive, made me think of the space that is created in withdrawal. Perhaps we are meant to fully engage in life and bring and share ourselves as we are all equal in essence?

    1. It’s a great point Jenny, whilst we may choose to withdraw and not participate – those around us feel our dis-engagement and the loss of us no longer being with them. We are choosing to withhold the love that we are from them.

39. No middle ground for abuse – ‘no grey scale or differentiation of any kind’. I think that is key to reducing / cutting out abuse in our lives. Otherwise this sliding scale allows all kinds of abuse into our lives as we choose to not see it as really abuse. As Serge Benhayon has said, we either harm or we heal.

40. I agree Richard and for me this blog highlights how we have allowed life to be accepting of so much abuse so that we do not have to be responsible in making life an expression of love and harmony.

41. Re-reading paragraph three is a great way to be reminded of the level of responsibility that we all have to address the abuse in our own lives and then to call it out in the world.

42. When we turn a blind eye to abuse we allow it to continue.

    1. And when we pay for it, we are encouraging it.

43. Saying no to the abuse in our own lives first is the best place to start otherwise it is a case of not practicing what we preach and definitely not living what we speak.

44. Interesting to read your list of things that are abusive and how many of these I still don’t always think of as being abusive in my every day life but if we come from a marker of anything less than acting in a loving way towards myself or others is abuse then yes I can see that these things are abusive and need to be honestly looked at as such.

    1. Which confirms that the more we make life about Love, the more the abuse we have come to accept as normal is revealed to us, a step by step process that keeps deepening the more we commit to it.

45. Too me, I can see how little we care about ourselves or each other when we can decide to legalise Marijuana so that it is a recreational drug. Many years ago at a place where I worked there was a young man who was a constant user of Marijuana and he was unable to work in a way that was productive, he was a danger to himself and others and worst of all his driving was erratic and his communication was slurred. I have seen how this type of drug affects our bodies and totally wipes it out. And yet we as a collective have decided to legalise it. Life is all about supply and demand, if there is a demand there will be a supply, so we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for the crazy mess we are making of this world we all live in, we are our own worst enemies.

46. By simply not allowing abuse in your life to the best of your ability you will become an example for people to watch, feel and to be with and to let them discern for themselves to choose this same level of honesty about abuse or not.

47. The only way to stop the abuse we come across in life is by stopping the abuse in ourselves first as that will open us up to bring this quality in vibration wherever we go and emanate that is a dead end road to go.

48. As we become more sensitive, so we can feel the difference… what we once accepted as normal and everyday might, in another light, look to be properly abusive (such simple things like the way we talk to people, what we eat and drink, when we go to sleep). If we take care at this level, then we have no problem what so ever in saying no to the grosser forms of abuse you have experienced.

49. Abuse can be not listening when someone is talking, it can be speaking with frustration or some other emotion in our voice. It can also be not feeding back how we feel, because ignoring what was said or changing the conversation does not offer evolution.

50. Abuse comes in many forms… the tiniest form is equally as important as the extreme forms – as every type of abuse contributes to the momentum of abuse we all live in.

51. The moment we gauge the quality of the moment by comparing it to an extreme, we are totally lost, since we are settling for something that is not as bad as that extreme. We should instead be comparing it to the deepest level of love, since anything less than that shows us we are not living our true essence. This would be valuable, a starting point based on truth.

52. It is often said that you can’t teach something until you fully and deeply understand it yourself. I have found this with children – if you don’t absolutely get it, then you will certainly come un-stuck in the face of their “why’s”. The same could be said for abuse – if I don’t fully open my eyes to the abuse that is in the world, in my life, all around…then am I going to have the authority to call it out?

    1. Yes, we absolutely do have to understand something in order to be able to live it and share it with others – with regards to abuse I also feel along with understanding and honesty we also need to hate what abuse is doing to us all, to have a deep understanding for the effect it is having on our society as a whole.

       1. The hate will come with the connection and awareness. If we don’t hate it, then we need to open our eyes wider.

    2. Absolutely Otto… it is the authority that comes with the delivery of truth that we all feel – we feel it in our body and innately know it to be true – it cannot be denied.

       1. And this is what we need to stand-by, claim, trust and appreciate. The world is literally riddled with lies so the rock of truth that our body is may often be the only thing that we can grab on to.

    3. When you have the authority because you live it you do not have to explain anything anymore because people will understand it from your movements and the vibration of your voice that abuse in you is nowhere reflected anymore.

       1. Very true, Nico, actions speak louder than words. I am appreciating this more and more, just how much is constantly being communicated through our movements, even when it doesn’t appear as though anything much is happening – everything is felt, energetically.

       2. Nor do you need to justify it.

53. Abuse… is in anything and everything that is not truly loving.

54. How we treat ourselves determines how we treat others and they us.

55. The state of abuse in the world is everywhere in every aspect of life and a real understanding and reality is needed to what is going on and the lack of love in the world accepted as normal. It starts with not loving ourselves firstly and from here anything is abuse for “anything that is not love is abuse” so the truth of love is the starting point to living who we are innately in our lives and with each other.

56. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.’ everything we do is like a foundation for someone else to do the same thing so we can pave the way for another to accept and be a part of abuse, or for them to call it out as unacceptable.

57. If we stop trying because we are not good enough, whose values and beliefs have we accepted as our own. Is this self-abuse we have willingly accepted? The world is full of abuse but when we accept responsibility in our life, it is not adding to what is out there.

58. Abuse, self abuse is not loving ourselves fully, not appreciating the qualities we bring. It is easy to appreciate what we do in life but feels hard to appreciate our qualities of sweetness, tenderness, and how we are in everything we do.

    1. Self-abuse is way more prevalent than we would like to admit… everyone treats themselves in some way or another that is not loving. We are not brought up to be gentle, tender and loving with ourselves – however, we can start now whatever our age and role model a new standard.

    2. I have taken part in an ‘appreciation program’ whereby you text something that you appreciate about yourself every day to the other person and vice versa. It’s a very beautiful way to begin deepening the level of appreciation that we have for ourselves and a lot of fun connecting with another person in this way too.

59. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse’ – this comment really highlights for me just how much abuse has become a very normal part of our lives.

    1. This is so true Alison… so much so that when life is harmonious it very much stands out and we question whats going on, doubting the possibility of harmony!

60. So true Doug – since when has self-abuse been the answer to abuse…

61. ‘I am aware of what abuse is now, and am working on my things, and on not allowing any abuse into my life – zero, none whatsoever.’ – When we become aware of the enormous impact of abuse and how it infects our lives and our entire society, we have a choice to either ignore it or step up and teach ourselves to say no to abuse, even that which may seem subtle and insignificant.

62. ‘NO’ to abuse is sometimes easier said than done as somehow there is something we like about a particular kind of abuse like e.g. our little treats, life’s little pleasures, the emotional highs we enjoy, the distractions and numbness entertainments, the intensities we seek to escape the dull everyday routines etc. They often come with a harming effect we tend to ignore, excuse or justify but at some point when they catch up with us we wish or even decide to stop and change them, only to go back to them as soon as the suffering is forgotten and the needs rise again. So, saying ‘NO’ cannot just be a verbal claim to be a true ‘NO’ that brings the abusive energy to a stop.

    1. What I’m feeling reading your comment, Alexander, is that it’s as though we use abuse for relief – to have a self induced off moment where we stop being responsible and loving. Do we find the familiarity of abuse comfortable in some way? That’s pretty disturbing if we do.

63. ‘Abuse is anything that is not love.’ is a very simple statement to bring to any situation moment of choice and build our awareness in the day to day choices we make

    1. That is a marker that we could all use, so simple which fills it with so much potential.

64. I am in the process of learning to let go of judgement and I realised today that anything I say to another, if there is the slightest hint of judgement, then that is abuse and I am likely to get a reaction back.

    1. …for which we often blame the other person – and so the circle keeps turning – until we are prepared to raise our standards so that this stuff sticks out.

65. A very real example of how abuse can sneak its way into our lives and, without a connection and appreciation of our awareness and sensitivity, be allowed to take its hold in life.

66. There is something very fundamental and profound about realising that the way we treat ourselves is the foundation for the quality in our relationships, societies and across all of humanity. For me this brings great purpose to life.

    1. True Matilda and realising this brings along another awareness, that we therefore have a fundamental responsibility to care deeply for ourselves.

67. “All this to keep me, I would say, separated from others, being an individual and away from the true purpose of why I am here” When we come to really study and assess our self corrupting ways, we come to realize what an enormous waste of time and energy they are. We certainly have invested in some huge distractions in an attempt to stop us just simply getting on with taking responsibility for our lives and our real purpose in life, to restore Truth, Love and Integrity to this corrupted world.

68. It is the turning the blind eye to things that lets them all carry on, get further ingrained and magnify. We also stop ourselves from responding to the clear reflection of what is in front of us and stifle our own growth and evolution. All in all not a wise move.

69. There has been a recent atrocity in the news. An abuse that is unfathomable in its intent for how destructive and shielding of lies that it is. And because it has been published, makes me think that those who published it do not consider their actions abusive. Which asks the question – how can abuse be subjective? Surely it is or it is not? And who has the right to determine what is and what is not? There could be a standard to which we all live by, a standard that holds all, everyone, equally. And by this anything that is not of this, would be obvious.

    1. Shami, I’m not sure which abuse you are referring to, as there are so many. However, I feel everyone knows abuse, you know when you hurt another, physically and emotionally. It’s not so much that the perpetrator doesn’t realise what they have done, it’s more they ‘think’ they can get away with it and with all the arrangements between countries and within societies, very often they will. They only consider themselves and their survival, without any regard for anyone else and the bigger picture – that they are in fact affecting everyone with their actions.

70. I saw some people on the weekend protesting about all the abuse going on in their home country, the executions, imprisonments, disappearances and with all the other abuse going on in the world it is hard not to get overwhelmed, so bringing it back to ourselves and cleaning up our own backyard is a very good start.

71. There is no dipping your toe into the pool of abuse! Entrance is always a diving board, and there is no shallow end.

72. ‘There is no middle ground for abuse’, once we all realise this and stop putting it on a scale and accepting so-called lesser abuses, then perhaps we can move closer to Love.

73. I find going into sympathy is an easy way to turn a blind eye to abuse especially abuse from people close to us or family members. The poison of accepting abuse stays in our body and if we do not clear it by calling out or putting a stop to the abuse and healing it, it harms us in more ways than we realise.

74. Turning a blind eye doesn’t make abuse go away … it’s an avoidance of seeing what is true, calling it out and then taking responsibility for where we ourselves abuse.

75. ‘Do we care enough about how much people suffer to live in a different way, or are we happy with our comfort and indulgences in life?’ – this question, when answered with absolute honesty reveals why things are the way they are.

76. Anything that goes against the true nature of the body is abuse, plain and simple. And I have found it to be so liberating to observe in this way and so gain a continued deeper awareness of what this means and how loving myself enough to attend to these details truly changes everything in life.

77. These blogs are phenomenal, the willingness to go there, to explore what’s going on, to understand and to keep an open heart and mind clearly bears amazing fruit.

    1. I agree, Rosanna, they are blogs that keep on giving as the more I re-visit them and all the insightful comments, I can feel a deepening in my awareness and understanding.

78. That is awesome you reported the incident to the police, as you say it is so easy and comfortable to let things slide and not action what we know to be true to save face. What are we really saving though when we accept a standard of interaction with each other that is less than respect. I can feel the call to forever keep an eye on any abuse and not take our eyes of it for a second because we all deserve respect a minimum.

79. What I see, and take responsibility for my part in, is that we have all allowed our standards to drop below what most of us do feel and know is decent and loving behavior… there are so many rationalizations to let things slide…

    Why are we so willing to compromise love and so protective of our rights to self abuse or to have all manor of forms of relief and entertainment (from porn, to sport to social media, to loud parties…) throughout society that are harmful to people?

    Is it possible that over-riding that I want to clean the sticky, dusty out-door table and chairs before I sit and enjoy my lunch is one of the many things I do that get me used accepting less-than-love and that this prepares me to be more able to justify and so accept stronger and stronger levels of dis-regard and abuse?

80. Sometimes coming to terms with lies or abuse can be difficult – sometimes its a painful awakening to something you previously could see or didn’t want to see, but the more we can let go of all the things in life that are not true, the freer we are to choose for ourselves

    1. Very true, Rebecca, the pain is the hurt we feel from our lack of love for ourselves and everyone else, but it’s far more painful and harmful to do nothing and leave the sore to grow and fester allowing more and more abuse to cover it up.

       1. I agree – better to rip the bandaid off and begin the process of healing

81. Paragraph three shows just how many ways we abuse ourselves which we do not place in the societally accepted definitions of abuse. In order that we may understand more of ourselves, we must also become aware of everything we are not.

    1. Agreed Michael, what abuse is is far greater than the extreme abuse we label as abuse.

82. Abuse can be neighbours who don’t consider other neighbours in their community and have all night parties or scream and shout in their street, making older people feel afraid to go out. Communities that live in true brotherhood truly care for each other and know that every move affects everyone else so they take care to live and move in harmony with all.

83. Surely when someone starts self harming themselves it is a cry for help a message to say something is drastically wrong with the way they are feeling and living. A few years ago I met a teenager in a café, she was sitting studying a book so I asked her what she was studying and she told me that her mother wanted her to study and train in something that she herself didn’t want to do. So I asked her what would she like to do and it seemed her passion was art, which was not considered ‘good enough’ to her mother. This teenager told me a lot about herself it all came tumbling out. It felt as though there was no one she could talk to openly about her anxiety and how she felt isolated because no one would listen to her. Then as she was talking to me I noticed that she was self harming I didn’t mention this but I could understand why she would. I could feel the frustration and the hopelessness of not being heard within her family. When you do not feel heard or understood there is a tension which builds up in the body and it reaches a pitch that something has to give which for this teenage was when she would cut her self and there was a temporary relief of the pent up feelings. But surely this is no way to find a relief to ones feelings? How come we have more doctors, Physiatrists, mental health workers and yet our mental health problems are escalating every day? What is it about the way we live that has young people self harming, taking drugs etc., what is it about life they are so anxious about that they don’t feel equipped to live it? And are we giving them the correct support that will enable them to understand their anxiousness and where it comes from.

    1. Growing up in the last century is apt, in the difference of the tensions the youth of today feel that were not prevalent 20 years ago. A majority of the medical profession that is treating today’s anxiety was also born in the last century! The birth of the smartphone was only 11 years ago. A recent survey showed that 95% of 16 to 24-year-olds owned a smartphone! In the last four years, the number of people in the world that have a smartphone has almost doubled from; 1.57 to 2.53 billion. Could the problem of our abuse be close to and/or in our hand?

       1. It has certainly unleashed a huge and vile wave of abuse. But in the same way that a gun is not dangerous…until it is in the hands of an individual, could we say the same about a smartphone? If we blame the technology, then are we going to miss the truth?

       2. Yes Otto, a case of ‘a bad craftsman always blames his tools’. Until we are willing to look honestly at what we create, we will always try to blame the tools.

    2. Mary, what a gift you offered just being there and meeting this young person for who they are, without any expectations or judgment, just a genuine interest and love for them, just as they are. I feel this is what is missing in life, we have lost touch with this way of being with each other.

    3. Your reasoning as to why people self-harm is spot on and reflects loudly that the direction of society- focusing on the external things rather the person themselves – is not beneficial for humanity. Time for a change.

84. It is true there are so many forms of abuse and so many of them are left to run without hindrance, so it is time we got real about it like so many are doing these days and be silent no longer.

    1. Here here Kev, this is so needed in our world, to arrest abuse and start living a more loving way. To know what is abuse we also have to know what is love. By living more lovingly we will begin to realise abuse of any form is not acceptable at all.

85. “Turning a blind eye to abuse no more” – when we turn our eye to abuse, we turn our bodies into fortresses where the entry of love is not given easy access as it would if the fortress was not in existence. Bringing the fortress down may make us a vulnerable target, though openness is the only way love can get through and reach us

86. I like how you are sharing in this blog that saying ‘no’ to abuse is not just about stopping the immediate abuse that is taking place for us personally but that it also supports the whole community to say ‘no’ and to raise its standards of living.

87. “Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.” Which means that we need to be calling out a lot more abuse than we currently do while establishing a new marker of what Love is, everyday of our lives, so that we have a trustyworthy comparative with which to identify both the gross and subtle levels of abuse we have allowed to persist.

    1. Yes and this makes me wonder whether unless we connect back to what love is (or even just genuine decency and respect) and feels like in our bodies then it will be impossible to actually identify and notice any abuse. Without love in the picture we would just assume abuse is a normal part of everyday life that cannot be changed.

88. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse: a person who walks through the door abusing their partner when they ignore them, people bringing home ‘stuff’ from the office and taking it out on those in the home’ – when these things happen they feel awful and it feels like abuse – but we do not call this out as abuse, it is great that this article is bringing truth to what abuse really is and how widespread it is.

89. “Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple….” Couldn’t agree with you more!

    1. Therefore, the way to say no to abuse is through deepening our love for ourselves, and therefore, everyone else. As our love deepens we will not be able to accept any abuse.

90. There are times when I may have said what was correct, justified and faultless, yet when I walk away I feel a yuck feeling within me, it all feels wrong and in that moment I know Instead of love I have used force to communicate and that I have been abusive.

    1. I can totally relate to what you’re sharing, Golnaz, – the justification of ‘right’ as opposed to the surrender within and the sharing of truth. The former feels hollow and the later is confirming.

    2. Whether we accept abuse or dish it out ourselves, our body registers abuse instantly and it will let us know whenever we say yes to abuse.

91. I am hearing and seeing more and more how so many women at some point in her life has been abused. That if we had a huge room of women and asked this question I am pretty sure nearly every hand would go up. That is shocking. And of course this is not to say that abuse does not happen to men as it does. What it does show is just how much we have accepted abuse as being okay and something that just happens. This is on all levels from verbal, online and physical. Also how much verbal (and sometimes physical) is received by staff in public areas. For instance in my local leisure centre when I went to talk to the receptionists there was a new sign up saying they do not tolerate abuse from any member of the public. When I asked her does this happen a lot she said yes. So absolutely we simply cannot turn our backs or a blind eye to abuse anymore … not that we ever should have in the first place!

92. The teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom have wakened me to what abuse is in its many forms. The place I have started with is addressing the self-abuse I was living in simply with the inner thoughts and the way I spoke to myself. What a revelation it has been to see how abusive I have been to myself.

93. The more I choose to re-connect with my body, the more obvious abuse is becoming to me – from within my own mind and from events around me.
    ‘To be absolutely honest I still am re-defining what is abusive every day.’

94. “I had to get clear and re-define what abuse actually is. To be absolutely honest I still am re-defining what is abusive every day.” That is the point the more we see abuse the more we will see what is acceptable and what is not. As you say anything that is not harmonious is abusive, and this is the marker I am constantly redefining in my life too.

    1. I feel the re-defining is a ‘re-setting’ of our awareness and honesty as we go deeper in expanding our love and flushing out everything that is not love, that we have been allowing. Nothing stays still, therefore, if we are not re-setting our standards, what we are accepting – this creates an opening for abuse to sneak back in.

95. The world can only remain the way it is if we choose not to see the truth of what the world is, what if we started to say “I want to see everything” from abuse to the depth of love and wisdom that is on offer. Then our lives would transform from the inside out, it is possible to consider how whole societies would change from one simple choice.

    1. I love this David “I want to see everything” from abuse to the depth of love and wisdom that is on offer.’ particularly as I do not feel I have really said I want to see everything with regards to the depth of love and wisdom that is on offer. Probably because my socks would well and truly be blown off but hey let them be blown off thats what I say!

    2. You raise a great point David – we are either open to seeing the truth, or we are not. There is no in between, if we think we can filter and just see what we want to, we are actually saying NO to the truth, choosing instead to create our own version of the truth. It comes back to one choice, our choice to be the love that we are, or not.

96. Once we start our pealing the onion, we get to see and feel the insidiousness of what we had ignored or worse, excepted as normal when it came to abuse in our life! There does come a time when we have had enough and reawaken from our nap from life.

    1. I agree Steve – from ‘peeling the onion’ more layers of what has been accepted as normal in my own life is being exposed. Uncomfortable yes. Establishing a stronger and truer foundation within is worth every ounce of comfort / discomfort being exposed.

97. We cannot deny any more the corruption and lies that have founded many of the systems and institutions of this world … more and more of the abuse and rot is being exposed every day.

98. Abuse is avoiding, ignoring and or denying truth … and in this we create karma for ourselves.

99. I’m observing how every time I revisit this blog, which is very often, I can feel a deepening within my body of everything that’s being shared, – very beautiful to feel the tangible layers of acceptance as I let go.

100. The antidote to abuse is love. There is so much abuse everywhere in life every day. I tend to check out when I sense what is loveless, it may not be directed at me, but nonetheless, abuse affects everyone. The only way to not check out or numb myself in the midst of an abusive world, is to acknowledge to myself what is abuse and to move in deep love for myself. For example sitting in a classroom yesterday and feeling so much emotional and verbal abuse being poured out to the class by a teacher, I was nodding off to sleep. To remain in my body was not easy but I committed to it by acknowledging the abuse felt and began moving my body in a way to not judge, to keep opening, by rolling my shoulders out and not crossing my legs. I came back to my body, in the love that I felt within.

101. The more we deepen our commitment to living with love in our own expression, the more fine tuned and expanded our understanding of abuse becomes, and also the clearer it becomes that we are never in any shape or form a victim. In fact it builds a deep sense of empowerment and responsibility.

102. Being individualistic is a form of abuse because we are seeing ourselves as more important than another, or lesser. In other words, we are not seeing us all in Brotherhood as absolute equals.

103. What we eat somehow plays a major role in setting us up for our abusive-ways or the foods and loving conversation in every way allows a true energy to be part of who we are and thus allowing us to bring a stop to the abusive-ways and the thoughts that bring in the abusive drinks and foods that become a distraction that lead us to a different energy and the perceived thoughts that we think are non-abusive because the energy dare not devolve what level of abuse is going on.

104. One form of abuse is wanting people to be different from who they are when everybody has free will to make their own choices. We will all get there in the end, reconnect within, in our own time. Love is providing them with the space to do just that and it is our own livingness that will inspire change, not anything we say or try to push.

105. It’s possible that the reason we have turned a blind eye to abuse is that the abuse comes thicker and faster as a reaction to its exposure. It can be easy then, for the one who has exposed the abuse (or the one who has witnessed the abuse) to hide and retract, but therein lies the problem… when we all do this the abuse is given free rein to do as it likes.

     1. That’s true, Rachel, the way for us to counter these ‘reactions’ is to say yes to love, to deepen our relationship with ourselves, so it isn’t an option for us to contract, rather, we are able to hold our selves steady being the love that we are.

        1. This is truly what we need to learn isn’t it. Knowing that the love is stronger and building that as a true knowing takes time. I am learning to let go of worrying about what others may think and build this steadiness with myself… it does support the not reacting in situations. The stronger I am in relationship with myself the less I seem to react.

106. As our love deepens within ourselves we get to feel more starkly what is abusive, it therefore makes sense that this ongoing process means that ‘To be absolutely honest I still am re-defining what is abusive every day.’

107. Thank you for sharing, what stands out is as you say: “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” So often we call people innocent bystanders but if we see something there is a reason why we are seeing it and we then have a choice to say no to it or allow it to continue.

     1. Maybe not so innocent as they have numbed themselves so to not feel what is going on and thus the energy that they are using is putting a sheep in front of their eyes deceiving them and thus leading them to the slaughter of living a love-less life.

        1. Ignorance is no defence – we are always making choices – just as we can choose to be open to and aware of everything that is going on around us, we can equally choose to be blind and ‘ignorant’ to how things truly are – this is a choice.

        2. True Greg, yet it can seen innocent at the time even though really I can never really see that I had no choice or say in anything that I have done so cannot say I was very powerless rather given up at times and that was when the wool has easily been pulled over my eyes!

     2. We need to become that black sheep and stand out from the crowd because we are simply moving in a way that has released all our addictions of being lead to the slaughter-house.

        1. Very true Greg, no more hiding the love that we are.

108. It is great to make a list of all the things we do or have done that can come under the handle of abuse, because unless they are named and shamed they can just continue to carry on with some under the radar still.

109. Having a deeper understanding of abuse like this really exposes all of the more subtle and sometimes insidious ways it exists in our lives but also offers the choice to then remove it too.

     1. Very true and it feels super important that there isn’t a smidgen of judgment in the process – a very sneaky way of keeping us in circulation energy with abuse.

110. This makes sense; ‘But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself.’ It is only when we treat ourselves with love and respect that we know what true love is and we know what is not love and and so abuse stands out and we can then say no to it.

111. Finding the antidote to abuse is simple when we are connected to our essences and thus feel what Loving choices are all about.

     1. Absolutely Elizabeth, it is the most simple thing in the world when applied, that is within all our essences and thus our will to stay reconnected to that essence, thus developing a deep-humble-appreciative-ness of who we are.

112. “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” – I’ve never thought of myself as a facilitator or perpetrator of ‘danger’. However, I can completely feel how this is so whenever I am not standing up and saying no to abuse.

113. Abuse can only enter our realm if we have not build a solid foundation of love, the stronger our foundation and the less we compromise the smaller the gaps through which abuse can sneak in.

114. Until we are willing to see the extent of the corruption we are embedded in, there can be no true arrest of it. This is why seeking comfort in all its forms can never truly evolve us, it can only sink us deeper into the dishonesty we are a part of but are refusing to see. Attuning our senses to that which is uncomfortable for us to feel – the lies, the horror, the greed and the utter selfishness and division we have let run riot among us – is unpleasant but very much needed if we are to bring about a global change in the way we are living and rebuild the very structure of society so that the systems we create are founded on a bedrock of truth, integrity and care for each other and not the poison of self seeking self and all the abuse that shortly follows such positioning.

115. We can only truly say no to abuse when we stop accepting it in our own lives – and we can be our own worst offender.

116. Imagining that all space around us carries the greatest intelligence. Disconnecting from that, every tiny little thing we do, in a split second sometimes, to not access what is all around us, is simply very crazy and utterly ridiculous.

117. How much do we interfere with others’ abuse? When we hear a domestic argument going on do we call the police, or rush in and help? In some neighbourhoods shouting and swearing is ‘normal’ but it is still abuse. Most of us wouldn’t dream of interfering, it might be risky, we might get hurt, but does calling the police help? Each situation must be assessed on its own merits, but key for us is to reflect on our own livingness and check for the smallest smidgen of abuse in our own way of being.

     1. I’ve always found it so very tragic when someone has intervened to defend someone they don’t know, who is being attacked, only to be killed themselves. I hate the energy that is working so hard to deter us from following our natural instincts to help defend each other, to unite and stand up to abuse.

     2. By building our own loving ways we are naturally ‘intervening’ by saying no to the abuse that becomes highlighted due to the deepening loving way in our own lives.

118. I have found myself judging others for being abusive, and wondering why people are so horrible to each other? Is it any wonder though if this is how I am treating myself and we are all treating ourselves? It’s actually difficult to fathom how much abuse there is. what will make us stop the abuse in our relationship with ourselves? Often I have found we can be so set on abusing that it can take a shock or big stop to get really honest and really let ourselves feel how abusive we are to ourselves.

119. Even being nice can be abusive if it is not sincere, but how many of us are taught to be ‘nice’ when we are growing up, rather than being true to our hearts?

     1. Every moment you smile, because you want to control a situation by being liked, keeping a false harmony, not claiming your authority etc.. you not only abuse another but yourself as you say No to expansion and power. What if other people react, because they don´t get pampered? They get reflected that love is not about getting pampered and treated professionally. So let them react.

     2. Indeed, particularly with relatives or family friends, where every cell in our body is screaming out to steer clear of them, and we are told, ordered even, to give them a hug and a kiss. This is where the self-abuse starts – the over-riding of what our body is communicating to us due to the constant conditioning from outside that we ‘need’ to do certain things and behave in a certain way to be ‘accepted’ in life, when everything we know to be true within is saying NO.

120. I realised last night how simply my intention changing in how I do something can turn it from love to abuse and vice versa.

121. Thank you for writing this article about abuse. It makes me realise how important it is that we love ourselves and do not allow any abuse in the relationship we have with ourselves – for instance how we feel about ourselves and how gentle we are with ourselves. I can feel that then we will know clearly what is and isn’t abuse from and towards others.

122. That very caring policeman, quoting Einstein, must have restored your trust that there are people in the world who do care after the response from so many others who simply wanted you to forget about the incident and just get on with your life. It is this sort of response which then allows incidents like the one you experienced to continue to happen and to grow in intensity, as for the perpetrator there is no consequence for his/her actions. For the healing of the major forms of abuse in the world we need to begin to call out the littlest forms, without fail.

123. ‘The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it’. This is such a powerful quote and message, and something that we all have taken part of, consciously and unconsciously.

124. It is quite shocking how people turn a blind eye to abuse. When a man puts his hand up ladies skirt and places his hand on her groin area, which part did he not mean? And then the other comments, of just get your dress, and don’t go back to the shop, just highlights how much we as a society accept abuse, subtle and not so subtle forms of abuse and nothing will change until we all take responsibility to be more self-loving.

125. “For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.” Too often we turn the other cheek and fail to make a noise about the abuses that occur everyday. When one person stands up to abuse, then it definitely establishes a benchmark that assists others to do the same.

126. ‘If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?’ – it’s for each and every one of us to take responsibility for the way we are choosing to live and in that, to always ensure that we are making choices that reflect what we know to be true. There is no room for us to ‘switch off’ and ‘take a break’ from this responsibility – for this is when we slip and say yes to abuse, however tiny it may be, this is how it can creep in.

127. When we consider that “abuse is anything that is not love”, we can apply this to any moment in life. It offers us a way to fine tune our living and make ever so slight adjustments so that we really observe the difference when we choose love and when we do not.

     1. ‘Fine tune’, mine needs a major over-haul!

        1. You crack me up Alexis

128. I can really appreciate that unless we want to see that there are things we have taken as normal that are actually abuse we will not see it, because if we did, we would have to do something about it.

129. Being honest about the level of abuse we are prepared to run with like you have Anon is really and truly the only way back to living together in harmony. What I relate very strongly with is the call to living responsible in every choice, every interaction and in every moment. How I have avoided this, but can now see how this is actually true love and that there is a joy in this. I don’t live it twenty four seven but I am stepping up more and more and can feel the huge difference and impact that this has on everyone.

130. The only way that the world will change is to stand up against abuse everywhere in our lives.

131. We register abuse in our own bodies, no one can convince us otherwise if what we feel is not loving or respectful of the delicacy we are. I know for me this is a building process of the love and respect I treat myself with, that allows me to feel what is not loving ie, what is abuse.

132. “Abuse to me was extreme: extreme cases of violence, beheadings, bombings, attacks, rapes, fighting, shootings, stabbings, war, domestic violence, shouting, swearing and attacking people, someone physically self-harming or cutting themselves” – abuse is anything that is a lie away from the love something is or we are. And since we have created a life that means we live in a vast sea of lies from the structures of business, finance, medical, educational, the legal, justice and political systems and many more insitutional establishments so too do we equally live in a vast sea of absolute abuse.

133. When we are talking about such things as Abuse it is super important to stop and consider just how normal abuse is, as you say Anon, time to not turn a blind eye. And as part of that I think we have to ask ourselves why do we want to turn a blind eye it the first place?

134. That is the thing we need to get very honest about abuse because for the longest time the masses just carry accepting it until it directly starts effecting us personally, then we might do something about it.

135. If we understand our true beauty – we’ll see that anything less than us living our divinity is a form of abuse.

     1. I love this, Joseph, and feel this is the path for us to truly reconcile our relationship with abuse, once and for all.

136. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse’ It can be very subtle but good to discern. It is a work in progress for many of us to change our ways of being as common abuse has, as you say, become so ‘normalised’ we don’t realise it is abuse.

137. Absolutely, and keeping things simple – awareness, acceptance, understanding, surrender, more love and setting new standards.

138. With everything that’s in the media at the moment, this blog feels so very relevant and important. We all have free will to make our own choices in life, in order to do this, we must decide what feels true for us. It’s very easy to be manipulated by clever marketing and to abdicate our responsibility to actively make our own choices by ‘going along with the flow’ – which is a pretty slippery path as how do we really know what we’re agreeing to? What abuse are we unwittingly perpetrating? I have found that when I connect with my body, I know the truth, I may not like it, I may resist accepting it, but I absolutely know it and it’s in this that I put my trust.

     1. Accepting that we live in, and are a part of, a society that is rife with abuse, even more reason for us to deeply discern what we are agreeing to, what we are saying yes to, what feels true for us, even if no one else around us has the same interest or awareness. At heart, we all care, deeply, however, we have allowed our selves to become desensitised to the truth, to the reality of how we are living. Just because our lives feel ‘normal’ is merely a reflection of what we’ve said yes to, it doesn’t make them true and honouring of who we are.

139. We generally recognise abuse but doing something about it requires self-love, a willingness to expose it and a deep understanding of energetic responsibility. Standing up to abuse may not be so easy if we lack some basic foundations to support us to expose it and eliminate abuse from our life.

     1. Being open to recognising abuse is an invitation for us to deepen our self-love, to treasure ourselves enough to say no to the abuse and a great place to start is the way we abuse our selves.

140. Once we start to admit that abuse is not just the more extreme in your face physical and emotional harm we can inflict on one another, and ourselves, but that in fact “Abuse is anything that is not love” we will also start take our relationships our understanding of personal responsibility to a whole new level.

141. I have found that I have turned a blind eye to abuse if it has not been hurled in my direction or in the direction of the ones close to me… (and even then if lesser scale abuse did come my way, I used the ‘ignore it’ and ‘it will go away syndrome’ Why is it we are only ever really prepared to stand up to abuse if we are the ones affected or our close friends and relatives? Yet, abuse is prolific everywhere… in all walks of life, in every family, in every industry. It’s shocking really, not least when we begin to clock just how much we self abuse even in the smallest way.

     1. Yes, until it is personal we turn the other cheek – I wonder if that is a throwback to religion? Wherever it came from it has allowed people to get away with things so we now have degrees of abuse when we should have set the bar really low and chosen to embrace calling out anything that wasn’t loving and held ourselves to that level without needing others to call it out.

142. This is a great question Anon… “Do we care enough about how much people suffer to live in a different way, or are we happy with our comfort and indulgences in life?” How much responsibility are we prepared to take for our choices and how willing are we to make true and lasting change, and in that inspire others to also do the same.

     1. Actions speak louder than words, it’s not about how much I say I care, it’s how I choose to live in each moment that reflects, unequivocally, how much I do care, and this is felt by everyone. We should never underestimate how powerful this expression of love is – how much is noticed and felt, even if nothing is actually said.

        1. Well said Alison. Looking back at the times in my life when I have thought that I have been my most loving/caring are the times in my life that the truth of my body conveyed that I was my most abusive (towards myself, which then flowed into every environment I took my bankrupt body into). Now my body conveys a deep level of self care and this then bleeds into the rest of my life, regardless of whether or not I mention care or love and irrespective of whether or not my actions are specifically to do with ‘caring or loving’. Simply walking down the street by myself can contain and convey a very deep level of love, far more than when I used to do volunteer work at the local hospice, with a body that was utterly exhausted and devoid of love.

143. Without love there is no abuse as the abuse will be the norm, i.e. no awareness of abuse in absence of what defines abuse. With love the awareness of abuse being everything that is less than love is brutally obvious like blood on snow.

144. Our self abuse knows no bounds: overeating, eating foods that do not truly nourish, having negative, self-judgemental thoughts, walking in a hard way, pushing through life, there are many ways we move that leave our bodies feeling tense.

145. “Abuse – Turning a Blind Eye no More” – nothing makes us more blind than the slightest abuse. Nothing makes us more seeing than the commencement of love and its presence.

146. ‘The abuse we knowingly chose to do to ourselves and each other leaves an aftermath of emotional pain, hurts and trauma which we carry in our bodies.’ And these, now in our bodies, are fodder for more abuse being expressed from those very hurts and reactions.

147. Whatever we feel is intrusive and causes us disharmony within must be honestly looked at and considered. So often what may be considered the smaller abuses of life are swept under the carpet – but never truly hidden as they remain within our body as a marker to be healed. As you say Anon “Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply, which naturally leads to our truly loving and not harming another, there will always be abuse in this world’.

148. When we are not aligned to our naturally loving way of being and living, every movement will be abusive.

     1. So true Michael, so simple, powerful, to the point and no messing around, saying it exactly as it is.

149. Anything less than love is abuse is simple but such a huge thing to get your head around but now that I am realising more and more that when I am abusive to myself it effects everyone and everything around me I am far more inclined to be more loving to myself which also has an effect.

     1. So true kevmchardy… when we are loving of ourselves, people around us just melt – it’s like they are given permission to be what they innately know as true too. And there are some who react to loving ways because it exposes their own lovelessness but that’s great too as it presents them with a choice – to be loving with themselves or not.

150. Anon, it feels great to make everything about love and to say no to abuse in whatever form, this feels like our true way of living together.

151. Anon when we are willing to see just how deep the levels of abuse go it eventually becomes clear that the wars, domestic violence and celebrity suicides are the very pinnacles of the iceberg. Below that is the society that we say is working when abuse is woven into the everyday norm, abuse that we don’t even consider is abuse until we peel back the covers.

     1. Yes, we focus on the pinnacles yet are perhaps too overwhelmed to look to see how long the iceberg has been forming out of obvious sight. But it was in sight, we just let it go.

152. It is beautiful to unravel something one has accepted for so long knowing all the while that this was not right and true. To be standing firmer on one’s feet and claiming the love we all so very much deserve is a blessing for us all.

153. Abuse is like a splinter in your finger! You may not even be able to see it, but you can feel it! Are hurts we carry around not the same? Often, you must dig deep to remove that which is causing physical pain. And then, there are the splinters that if left and not dealt with, can fester and infect the whole being!

     1. Yes, this is a very clear example how we are affected by the slightest abuse there is.

     2. That Steve is a brilliant simple understanding that if we do not deal with our hurts they can fester the whole being and we can spend a whole life time jaundiced towards ourselves and other people.

154. And in so doing, we support each other to know that there is another way to live, a loving way that honours us all.

155. Absolutely – because currently most of us are not being honest about what abuse is and, therefore, how abusive we are all being, to our selves and each other.

156. We live in a sea of abuse.

157. In essence our understanding of abuse and decision to eradicate it from our lives is a never ending job because it is clear when we look at the world events, we have slipped a long way off the mark.

158. There are lots of forms of abuse – some you can act on right away, some you can respond to by not reacting and somethings are so appalling that you simply choose to live your way even if it will take a while for the truth to be recognised.

     1. True Christoph there are lots of forms of abuse, this blog and these comments ask us to redefine abuse and its different forms, from a stand point of our innate and sensitive nature rather than the slipped and accepted ‘normal’.

159. Not expressing and honouring what we deeply know to be our truth is abuse.

160. It is interesting how we coin the phrase a blind eye, when in reality we actually do feel and know what is happening just don’t choose to attend to it.

     1. So true Jenny – everything is felt and we all do know the truth, we just resist by choosing to not be aware, which takes so much more effort, not to mention the harm we cause our selves and each other in the process.

161. If anything that is not love is actually abuse there comes this feeling of purpose to be loving with myself in all that I do.

162. The consequences are dire – are we ready to take responsibility for it?

163. We are all crushed by abuse in different forms and ways in our lives in the smallest of ways that makes so much difference to us making us less with the crushing and shrinking that occurs hidden within us with the allowance to what is not us innately and the acceptance of this.

164. ‘Abuse is anything that is not love ” is a very true and an amazing understanding that would change the world with the depth of abuse exposed and the way we live and what is considered normal. Loving ourselves and respecting ourselves in every way is very beautiful to feel and honour amongst each other with a new raised bar of integrity and love in society is much called for with abuse having got so far and so accepted as normal. A brilliant call and level of livingness shared here for all to ponder on.

     1. I agree, Tricia – understanding that life is, in fact, very black and white, in the sense that everything is either loving or it’s the complete opposite, abusive, has been a massive revelation. I’ve spent most of my life in the ‘in between’ grey area, which I now realise is all of our own ‘creation’ to avoid taking responsibility for our abusive ways.

165. ‘I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.’ love the responsibility this demonstrates in us living only our loving nature and being aware of anything which does not come from it.

     1. Yes, and I appreciate the blueprint that can help guide the way.

166. I have learned that standing up to abuse does not need to be crushing… quiet the opposite intact. It’s the allowing of the abuse that crushes as there is an internal withering from not expressing. Speaking up frees us up and is expansive.

     1. Very true Rachel – speaking up is liberating and expansive while holding back from calling it out enables the abuse to not only continue but to magnify.

     2. well said Rachel, abuse will be abuse and this will go on for many generations to come until we start to respect ourselves and each other enough to say – no more abuse.

     3. This is so very true Rachel. “It’s the allowing of the abuse that crushes as there is an internal withering from not expressing.” I can so relate to the ‘withering’ as the words I really wanted to say get stuck, almost choking me as I hold back. I also know that it can be so very hard to speak up at times like this, words almost fail us, but if we can share how we feel, even if it is in the most simplest form, there is the most wonderful feeling of liberation as the truth is presented, even though it may not be readily accepted.

     4. Absolutely Rachel, and I love how you have described this internal withering that happens as a result of not expressing when we feel something abusive coming towards us. By actually speaking up when this happens rather than keeping quiet, its as if the abuse can literally bounce off us as it has no where to go, allowing us to remain feeling full of who we are.

        1. Yes, I have found this to be the case from my own experience.

167. When we make life all about self, we are very selfish and individualistic, thus it is easy to self-abuse as self likes to indulge in the comforts and the many distractions in this world. The game changer is when we heal our issues and hurts, and learn to let go of self, we are able to see the bigger picture and our life becomes infused with purpose and service as we are all here to work together to evolve one another.

168. Anon, I would agree with this for me too; ‘I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.’ I am finding that recently this is changing and that no longer can I turn a blind eye and stay silent when I witness abuse in its many forms.

169. We can hear an abusive tone or see an abusive action but not say anything to avoid further conflict but if we say nothing than it doesn’t get stopped.

170. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” This is so true Anon. If we know there is a way to live that truly supports us to be healthier and more loving with all our relationships then we have a responsibility to share that with others who may not be aware that thye too can make similar changes in their lives.

171. Surely saying that abuse is anything that is not love revolutionises the way we interact with people in society? If not then have we really listened?

     1. It also revolutionises the person who lives it, especially if it is not a slogan but a way of living or a livingness.

172. When we experience abuse, in the moment straight afterwards, if we don’t immediately say no, but instead, start to normalise what just took place in the context of there are so many worse things happening every day, or, what difference is it really going to make anyway ….. this is what we need to remember – ‘This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.’ In so doing, this does make a difference and it does become easier for others to also stand up and say no to abuse.

173. Although when you reported the tailor incident to the police Anon, supposedly ‘no case will come of it,’ in many ways things have ‘come of it’ already… you have spoken up, taken action, the tailor is on warning that this behaviour is not ok and now has a choice to not do it again… and at the end of the day your report is sitting there waiting to support another if he does repeat the offence. So all that you have done in saying no to abuse is on record and telling the world this behaviour is not acceptable and won’t be tolerated – a powerful stand we can all take.

174. Thank you for this very simple, clear description of abuse; ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.’

175. Anon, I can really feel how the things that you have listed below are abuse; ‘I have abused myself in many ways, such as choosing negative thoughts about myself, putting myself down, choosing abusive relationships and staying in them, eating and drinking foods that are harming to my body.’ It is great to call these things out as abuse rather than just accept them and keep these unloving and harmful behaviours going.

176. ‘It is only once we choose to get very real and absolutely honest that we are willing to be open, truthful, understanding, and accept seeing abuse in this way – let’s face it, the world is very loveless.’ – It is a sad fact that we have created a loveless world when in truth, we are all in essence pure love and harmony. To have accepted lovelessness as normal goes to show how far we have strayed from who we truly are.

177. We hear some horror stories about how people have been treated as children and we might think we were lucky not to have been so abused, but most of us were abused in some way, our parents or teachers got angry and we were punished or we were shouted at in abusive tones, or our siblings were constantly insulting us, it may not have been physical abuse, but psychological, it is still abuse and could leave us with hurts that scarred us for life until we learned to deal with them and let them go.

     1. Could bringing us up comfortably and safely in nice environments also be classed as abuse, if there was no truth or love of God? Not that God ever need be mentioned but true love is the love of God, it is his love that is the foundation of life and so surely if we are in an environment where that love is being thwarted then it’s an abusive situation?

178. When we accept abuse from ourselves are we not welcoming it from ours?

     1. Great point Steve… this is truly where abuse starts – we treat ourselves in abusive ways and in the process attract the same behaviour from others towards us.

179. We need to redefine and bring ourselves back to what the word ‘abuse’ really means, so that we don’t have the situation we have now, of the varied and very different acceptable versions of abuse based on our own experiences. By learning to know what love really is, we will be able to live by the principle that you offer here Anon “Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.”….

     1. Great point, Alison, in order to recognise abuse, we must first be very clear, honest and accepting about what abuse actually is – anything that isn’t love. That’s very black and white, with no in-between.

180. Being willing to see abuse, what is not love, allows us to see the real state of things, from this we get to feel the purpose of living in a way that reflects the truth of our relationship with ourselves and one another.

     1. And it is through our relationship with ourselves that we are able to determine what abuse means to us. In fact it is through our relationship with ourselves that we are able to determine the meaning of everything.

181. When does abuse start for you? For me it is already abuse when someone is raising their voice or simply said when the vibration is absent of love.

     1. I agree Stefanie, I am noticing how I feel the tone and energetic quality of what is being said before I register the words – a fraction of a second before, none the less, I know instantly when it’s abuse, irrespective of the justification or explanation that follows, that I’ve mis-interpreted, ‘it wasn’t meant like that’ – energy doesn’t lie and how I feel in my body does not lie.

     2. Well said Stefanie, and we must also understand what is love to understand what is abuse. So, no wonder our world is full of abuse because a huge majority of people do not understand what love is, and most of us are living a false version of love that allows abuse to fester and grow.

        1. Agree!There are so many believes and pictures about what love is. No one I usually meet lives true love towards themselves, so how shall we act in a loving way and recognise abuse, when our own standard of being love is so low?!

182. “We cannot just go to the extremes of abuse, as this normalises all the so called day-to-day abuse we say is not abuse,” I fully agree, its something that in the past I would do – see the extreme and be horrified by them but what stands out now is just how horrific all the non-extreme abuse is. The middle ground, the normal things that we would not even consider to be abusive when we have such extreme abuse, yet the place we need to also say not to.

183. There is so much in this article for me to ponder on; today’s point of inspiration is seeing the purpose and responsibility of speaking up about abuse, not with any expected outcome (as in the tailor not get charged) but absolutely knowing that a new standard is set when we do speak up and that this paves the way for others to not be abused, say no to abuse and/or realise there is another way.

     1. This feels very key, Matilda – when we speak up about abuse, there are no expectations in terms of outcome, rather an honouring of ourselves and each other by simply speaking the truth.

184. It’s true if we let everything go by without speaking up then we are normalising abuse. So, we cannot complain when crime rates rise in our area, and things start to get a little closer to home because we have contributed towards it.

     1. It is true we cannot complain, we simply have to face the fact that by enabling abuse we are also contributors of it.

185. What I love so much about this blog and all the shared comments is that each time I read it, I can feel my body dropping to a deeper level of awareness and acceptance around the magnitude and endemic nature of abuse throughout all our lives. The difference between hearing the words, understanding them, agreeing with them and embodying the truth being offered through them.

186. Beautiful Alexis, and it is this absoluteness that shakes the abuse out of its hold. When we look at it straight in the eye and call it for the abuse it is, it can no longer clinch at us. Abuse exists because of our request for it in the first place.

     1. ‘Abuse exists because of our request for it in the first place.’ Isn’t that telling of our quest for identification away from the love that we by nature are

187. Thank you Anon. One area that also comes to mind around this topic is that we also have an almost gender discrimination in society about what men and women can report as abusive when in fact we are all deeply sensitive and abuse is nothing to do with gender. Something that a women may be looked upon as acceptable to report as abuse may be laughed at or made fun of if a man reported it. This is also an area where we turn a blind eye.

188. “Abuse is anything that is not love.” This very much exposes the truth of abuse… any word, thought or deed that is not coming with love is delivering some kind of abuse… and therefore there is great responsibility in how we choose to live.

     1. And a simplicity to life that does not have grey areas or maybes but an absolute clarity about the fact that anything that is not love is abuse.

189. Your honesty is inspiring Anon… there is so much we dont see as abuse but you have exposed just how abusive our lives can be and what we have chosen to settle for to maintain our comfort – which in truth is not comfortable at all as we feel the constant underlying unease of not living our truth, of not living harmoniously and united as humanity.

190. ‘This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.’ If we think abuse doesn’t affect us, it does. Seeing the abuse in life as I was growing up made me weary of life, hardened and wanting to avoid the abuse by discounting it was even all around me. I am sure I’m not alone in this as society tries to put its head in the sand by saying only the extremes are abusive or matter. Calling what isn’t loving out is much needed – this includes how I am with myself.

191. When we start to honestly look at all the ways we in fact abuse ourselves in our day to day living, and how we keep repeating it no matter how much it hurts our body, you really have to wonder what is going on and why this is our choice. Why is it that we don’t stop and truly question what we are doing?

     1. A great question to ask Eva, especially when we know we are abusing ourselves. It simply doesn’t make sense, but when we introduce the concept of energy and that we are impulsed by energy then we can start to ask what type of energies there are and what type of energy we are aligned to.

192. When we ‘turn a blind eye’ we don’t actually stop seeing, we’re just making the statement to ourselves that we’re not going to do anything about it.

     1. Which is perhaps why we may then react to others who are choosing to do something about it – this reflection is everything we know we should be doing, but we are not choosing to love our selves enough to want to do anything about it. This, deep hurt rises to the surface in the form of anger.

193. You have coined a new term in ‘acceptable abuse’, which perfectly describes the abuse we are willing to turn a blind eye to.

     1. ‘Acceptable abuse’ which deep down we all feel and know is absolutely not acceptable.

     2. But in doing so, we’re turning a blind eye to all abuse.

194. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” Yes, such a valid question to ask, it is us, all of us, who live in this world, thus it comes back to all of us to bringing truth back to our living ways. An all that it takes to express according to our awareness and not hold back.

195. ‘I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.’ I have felt this too and have to ask in what way has accpeting abuse suited me. Once we know this we can truly start to get under the surface and deal with the cause.

     1. Yes, we need to be willing to ask ourselves the question that helps us look underneath the surface.

     2. Before we can say we hate abuse in all shape and forms to do anything about it, our life, in all areas and forms of expression surely must be lived with love. And from the lived action of love I would imagine that the all forms of abuse would be very easy to see and feel, therefore to never turn a blind eye to.

     3. We can also look at it from the perspective that ‘we haven’t loved our selves enough to say no to abuse’, the more we grow and deepen our foundation of love, the less room there is for anything that is not love.

196. Swearing is a form of abuse for sure, you can feel it in the voice, I find it horrible to be around people who constantly use the F word. I must admit I have used it myself when I’ve been really angry, and my angry voice has been totally abusive. There is no excuse, speaking in tender tones is always lovely to be around, angry voices are not.

     1. Indeed – the awful energy that comes with an angry voice is more harmful than the word itself. Another thing we often forget or dismiss is that suppressed and hidden or non-spoken anger is just as harmful, if not more.

        1. Quite often I have observed swearing and others laughing it off, but if we were honest we would know that swearing comes with a certain type of force which can hit the body just as hard as a punch.

     2. I agree Carmel, I hate the energy behind swearing, yet I also use swear words at times and when I do I can feel the physical abuse in my body from using these words, and the hurt from knowing I am equally hurting others.

197. Our body registers abuse instantly and if we do nothing about it, it will stay stuck in our body causing much harm and if we do not clear it, it affects us all.

     1. The doing nothing, the not acknowledging that we have registered abuse is part of the ‘normalisation’. We could say that complacency is abusive when we look from the point of view of love, joy, stillness and harmony.

198. I have found when I accept abuse from others, say nothing and don’t expose it, the energy of the abuse stays in my body and then I walk around with constant tension in my body. This affects everything I do and my relationships. It is so important to not accept abuse in any form so our body is free to express and say yes to love instead of abuse.

199. What I really hated while growing up was (the bastardization) of religion, family and love. I could not make sense of these things in how they seem to hurt so much when they should be the most amazing things in life. I’m inspired that with this questioning and not needing to reach a goal that Life showed me what the truth of these things are. Recently and similarly I hated the abuse or the lack of love seen and felt around, and the beauty of surrendering to this is love deepened all across the board without any picture of how it was to happen. This progression in life is indeed very beautiful.

200. ‘But what really struck me was how many people – both women and men, people who you think would be supportive, such as some police officers, professionals and people you know – turn a blind eye to abuse’ …. such is our dis-connection from our selves and each other, allowing us to normalise or just remain blind to the reality of the world we are living in. Reflecting our need to remain comfortable with where we are at is stronger than our love for our selves and each other.

201. “I have abused myself in many ways, such as choosing negative thoughts about myself, putting myself down, choosing abusive relationships and staying in them, eating and drinking foods that are harming to my body, drinking alcohol …” In other words a normal day in the life of millions of people. What an immense revelation to realise that what is taken as quite ordinary behaviour is extremely abusive and from there on in, make a decided effort to address these behaviours from the inside out. What a different kind of future you are making for your self here, one that restores you to your eternal love, wisdom and evident integrity, establishing in the process a whole new level for humanity to step up to.

202. ‘All this to keep me, I would say, separated from others, being an individual and away from the true purpose of why I am here – to feel deeply where people are at and to live in a way where I do not accept any form of abuse, zero, none at all, and by that living way inspire others to do the same: to reflect to people that there is another way to live.’ This whole paragraph (and the one preceding it which I deeply relate to in honesty) is where I need to step to. Instead of ignoring the state of the world around me, of keeping my hurts alive and using them as reason to hide, I can step out and declare my light and be guided by it. If I do not follow what I know within this will register in my body more than it is already.

203. Adding to what is so true Elizabeth, that by pulling the wool over our eyes we are not open up to the true understanding of the deepening harmony and love that is there. When we remove the wool, so we can live with a deep-humble-appreciative-ness of the true self as we reconnect to our divine essences that innate love we all are.

204. So Jane adding to what you have shared the old ‘will I, won’t I’ as a fence sitting position is adding to the dis-harmony and thus distracting us from getting off our butts and living the true harmony and joy-full-ness as a simple reflection in what we do in our normal ever-day activities.

205. As the level of our understanding and expression of love expands, the depth of honouring in which we hold everyone and our perception of what is considered as abuse also deepens.

     1. So well said Golnaz. Love is the highest form of intelligence that exists.

     2. Absolutely. I have expressed what I know to be abuse in an essay for a therapeutic course and been told that it isn’t and to be careful at labeling what isn’t abuse (i.e. physical violence, rape etc.) abuse. Initially this surprised me given the nature of the course but then I realised that when we admit what is abuse, we see the lovelessness that is lived all around us and this can be overwhelming especially when one is in the business of saving the world one person at a time. There’s a responsibility to be lived that reflects the love that is possible in a world that doesn’t yet live this love that we all are.

        1. ‘There’s a responsibility to be lived that reflects the love that is possible in a world that doesn’t yet live this love that we all are.’ – beautifully said, Karin. There absolutely is and it is being very deeply called for.

        2. “There’s a responsibility to be lived that reflects the love that is possible in a world that doesn’t yet live this love that we all are.” A powerful and honest statement Karin that delivers what is so desperately needed in our world today. It is this reflection that will change the way we live to one of harmony, truth and brotherhood.

206. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse’ – This statement alone should be enough to stop each and every one of us in our tracks.

207. The abuse that comes from thoughts and talking about another in a disrespectful or judgmental way is felt and registered by the person in question to the detail. Also expectations are a very big and intense form of abuse. Just like you wrote: ‘Abuse is anything that is not love.’

     1. What I am coming to realise more and more is that for there to even be space for abusive thoughts or expressing disrespectfully or the like to even be there, then there must have been abuse or separation with self first. For if we are truly loving, tender and caring with our self then the thoughts or treating another less than this would have no space to be.

        1. Yes, absolutely, Johanna, Just being connected to the body and honoring its delicacy would stop the thoughts and disrespectful expression.

208. We recognise abuse when it has a certain intensity that disturbs us, i.e. when it is beyond what we see as normal, but what is with the abuse that we consider to be our comfort and pleasure? It will go unnoticed and or we may even defend it to the hilt, e.g. the triumph of being right over someone else or the entitlement to be hurt and or a victim. No wonder that we have to start with the 101 of self-love and self-care to step by step extract ourselves out of the normality of abuse.

     1. Very well said Alexander. It is when we start living with self-love that we begin to understand that abuse of any form is not love and therefore not acceptable.

209. This is a great discussion of what abuse really is, and how we are all responsible for our thoughts, actions, responses. Thank you for this reminder to keep choosing love, which as you have shown can be reporting abuse, or saying no to it in any form.

210. ‘I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.’ I recognise these words and have only recently discovered how addicted to drama I am. No more need to tell shock horror stories, life is what it is and it is for me to find a harmonious way of living in it.

211. Thanks Anon for sharing this quote by Einstein. What I notice walking through the streets of the city where I live, is that people are becoming more and more switched off to what is going on for one another. It feels like everyone is so busy dealing with their own struggles that they don’t have time for anyone else. And so our reckless ways are occurring unchecked and greater levels of abuse are becoming the norm.

212. It is ‘easy’ to be abusive towards ourselves or another when we are tired or hungry or off sorts. But the real abuse is how we allowed ourselves to get to that point of feeling that way to begin with!

     1. Great point, Henrietta, – there are no ‘off’ moments in life where how we are isn’t registered or doesn’t affect everyone else. Our responsibility to be aware of how we are choosing to be is a constant, with no down time.

213. The more we raise our own standards and deepen our relationship and our respect towards ourselves and others, the more easy it becomes to see the abuse that abounds around us in all its miriad of subtle ways. If we abuse, we are blind to the abuse we inflict upon an other, but when we choose to see and be aware, then we have the choice to make a change and this is the true power of learning to live who we truly are in terms of the gentle and caring beings that we were born as.

214. Yes abuse is always a follow on of how we are with ourselves and the degree of abuse we go to is always equal to the separation from ourselves. The more we are unloving and thus separate from our true selves, the more we are able to abuse other as it hurts already so much inside that we have to lash out. True responsibility is thus to be with ourselves in a way so we feel connected to our essence, which is love, and are super loving and understanding with ourselves.

     1. Any abuse is the allowing of less love and understanding in any situation whether it comes from another or with oneself.

215. “Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse…” – it´s worth to take a moment and let sink in the gravity of the statement, it shakes the standards and foundations that constitute life as we know it to be normal today, personally and as a society.

     1. So true Alex, when we consider that harmony has dropped off our radars, so every form of abuse seems to fit into an acceptable range and this is because we have gravitated away from our essences, but with true healing harmony can become a power-full-foundation that is built for our futures thus making abusive behaviours easily seen and felt by our radaronical-wisdom or essences.

216. Saying yes to love is a choice offered in every moment of our day. For example – choosing to respect and honour the wisdom that the body signal offer, is saying no to the abuse of ill-food choice.

217. We have temporarily forgotten en masse that there is another way to live, a way that we have lived before and know deep within. We are currently living a very shoddy example of life, one that pales into absolute insignificance compared to the true glory of our existence.

218. There is no neutral activity – we are always aligning with something – we are either saying Yes to Love or No. When we sit on the fence, energetically, we’re saying no by default as we’re not saying yes, we’re simply avoiding being honest about what we’ve already chosen.

219. ‘… not speaking up, not saying what needed to be said, ….’ – it’s so easy to believe that by not saying anything, we’re not ‘doing’ anything, yet in truth we are always doing something through the choices we makes in every moment. We’re either saying yes or no to love. By not speaking up we are saying yes to whatever energy is at play in that moment. By not sharing what is there to be said, we are saying no to the truth that is there for everyone.

220. I had developed such a thick skin around abuse that I still peeling away the layers to really get to the subtle depths of it within myself and hence in my life too. However the more I address this within myself and restore true self respect, the easier it is to erase abuse in every day life. Slowly and steadily the changes are happening and every success builds upon the next.

221. Interesting point about hating abuse. I hate it many aspects, especially the stuff that I can see affects people badly, but I don’t hate the little pockets of abuse that can sometimes go under the radar when all the other major stuff is going on.

222. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.’ – We learn to see our choices through a different lense when we understand that every choice we make has an impact on the all.

223. “Abuse is anything that is not love.” Oh wow when said like this it is super clear.

224. Our bodies always register abuse, also the things we have tried to convince ourselves that are not so bad, we can’t fool our body, for it knows how true love feels inside out.

225. ‘There is no middle ground for abuse’ however much we pretty it up, justify or make excuses. Anything that does not embody love in full is abuse… this actually makes life really simple and since our bodies know love inside out we cannot be fooled or fool ourselves.

     1. We make life so much more complicated than it needs to be in avoidance of accepting and taking responsibility for this simple truth.

     2. So true.. no matter what we might try to convince ourselves is ‘love’ – doing good or nice things but secretly wanting a return from it, or not feeling to do something but doing it anyway because we feel like another wants us to, for example – our bodies are the best lie detectors we have, providing us constant feedback about our choices. Through our observation of that feedback, we get to feel more clearly what is loving and what is not, and bit by bit, refine our choices.

226. I was in a situation where I had a feeling that an abuse was taking place and I had a split second to act on that feeling but didn’t and I went the whole day wondering if my feeling was right and that maybe I should have done something. Probably better to end up being completely wrong with egg on my face, rather than to let an abuse take place.

227. The overt abuse so easily recognised is but the magnified ripple that started with the subtle self-abuse that is exposed here.

     1. Perhaps this is why when we ‘think’ of abuse we relate it to extreme situations, outside of our selves, thereby creating a detachment, allowing us to avoid any sense of shared responsibility for what is happening all around us. There is no denying how responsible we all are.

228. One line that simplifies this issue and that stands out when reading it to me is this: ‘This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.’. There is a clear absoluteness in this that we are either living lovingly in our choices or not, and if not then we are in whatever way abusive. This shows the level of responsibility required to commit to undoing our own abusive ways and making everything about the expression of the love we are.

229. ‘pleasing other people’ this is a form of abuse I know very well, we receive feedback from those around us and, taking it as criticism for who we are, we try to change. It is ridiculous, we can only be who we are, anything else is just a sham. Not only is it a complete lie, it is exhausting trying to live something we are not.

230. The evil we refuse to see, is the evil we are played to be.

     1. And the evil we are still playing with.

231. It’s the thoughts we allow that aren’t us that are our first condonment of abuse. Imagine hearing a radio and thinking it was you – really it’s this absurd.

232. This may not be the same as abuse but the other night driving home from work the van behind me had such a bright light it shone into my car and was very blinding. When the van drove in front of me I noticed it was a company van and had an email address on it so I made a mental note of the email address and last part of the reg and when I got home emailed the company to let them know that one of their vans had a really bright light that felt dangerous for other drivers when it was behind it. The director of the company replied instantly thanking me for letting them know and said they would get it checked. My point is what if we took such action for everything that came our way during our day or night that felt imposing, dangerous or abusive (obviously in an appropriate way). It would definitely start to clear up of lot of ill and corrupt things that happen in the world and be raising both our relationships and standards.

     1. I agree Vicky and the way the van was driven behind you was absolutely abusive and in disregard of those vehicles that would be in front of it – great that you took the steps of contacting the company as there is a lot which plays out on our roads which goes unchallenged.

     2. You are an inspirational shining light, Vicky, answering the question, “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?”

     3. Vicky, a great example, not just of abuse but also our responsibility to speak up when it happens. And what an amazing company director to appreciate your letter and respond quickly. The liekly ripple effects of your action will reach not just the van driver, but quite possibly all of the company’s drivers and of course other road users who will feel safer.

     4. This is a very beautiful example Vicky of the deep love and care we can have for each other.

233. Imagine the harmony that could be lived if we were to understand how not caring for ourselves, our feelings and bodies ls how abuse is perpetuated towards others.

234. Thank you for addressing the levels of abuse that go on unchecked and are blinkered to in our lives. There are no grey areas. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse.’ This makes it absolutely clear as to what is loveless behaviour in life.
     To stand up and be ourselves in a world where abusive behaviour is prolific in our every day calls us to take the blinkers off, to live the opposite of what abuse is, which is to be honest about our innate sensitive nature, that we feel everything, to express all the love we are and that we are super aware and part of a much grander order.

235. To allow oneself to see all that there is to see is already a brave start and huge step towards saying no to the abuse that is so prevalent in this world.

236. This morning I am feeling the extent to which we have normalised abuse, everything that ‘we are not’, as though we are waging a war against our own divinity, which sounds crazy. However, in order to allow true change, we need to get real and be honest about our choices and the consequences of those choices.

237. I have noticed that there are many subtle forms of abuse that tend to go unnoticed in this world.

238. Something I have learnt in more recent years is that even telling lies is abuse, the ones we tell our selves and most definitely the ones we tell other people, regardless of their size or colour. Addressing abuse at this level helps to prevent it from mushrooming into the physical realm because there are no thought patterns to feed it.

239. We all feel the abuse – it only takes one person to speak out for others to agree because they have also felt it.

240. These days, saying no to abuse takes courage, to stand out from the crowd and express what is not truly loving… when it should be the most natural thing for us all to call out – simply and without fuss.

241. You are exactly right. We do need to re-define how we view abuse and it starts with each and everyone of us exploring it for ourselves. And a world teacher like Serge Benhayon who is leading these types of important conversations.

242. It is vital to say no to abuse. It is equally vital to say yes to love as otherwise we may be in protection and reaction.

     1. Absolutely Christoph, until we are fully committed to Love and Harmony in our lives we are in the most subtle ways still saying yes to abuse.

243. What an informative A to Z of self abusive behaviours. Many of them I would not have understood as abusive once upon a time, though now I agree that any one of those listed abuses is designed to keep any one of us, less than who we truly are.

244. One example of abuse is expressing with frustration when we notice something we think other people should be doing but aren’t. ‘Ask nicely’ ‘Say please’ are phrases we have heard so often from our parents, but when we listen to how families actually talk to each other, the level of abuse is pretty high.

     1. I agree, Carmel, what is said behind closed doors often seems more of a venting, leaving recipients feeling like a punching bag, then perhaps retaliating with their own vitriol and so the spiral continues. What is it about ‘family’ that we feel gives us the right to talk and behave in a way that we would never use with someone outside of our family?

     2. Carmel that is so true, what if we changed. One person at a time, what if we started with the basic concept of respect, although as with so many words we all have our own versions of them (as I came to understand through having that exposed by Serge) that the only true way is to feel how someone speaks or moves and how we are left to feel in our body. it’s either abusive or not.

245. Thank you for sharing, to stand up to abuse takes a lot, we have to start to value who we are to be able to say no. What you share above is very common how abusive we can be to ourselves and others.Its time we take responsibility and calling out abuse

     1. Whilst we choose to remain ignorant of the harm we are causing our selves and others, Nature is constantly reminding and reflecting to us the divinity that we are all a part of, inviting us to re-connect with what we know to be true.

246. ‘Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse’ We don’t like to to admit this but it hast be true. It is well worth looking at the areas of disharmony to eak out the abuse that is lurking and to find the root. When we are the subject of abuse, if we react in any way we are adding to the ill energy and causing further disharmony.

247. This abuse can be really hurtful and stops the love and connection between families that could otherwise be there; ‘a person who walks through the door abusing their partner when they ignore them, people bringing home ‘stuff’ from the office and taking it out on those in the home who have nothing to do with it.’ I can feel how common this type of abuse is and how we do not recognise it as abuse.

     1. Abuse has become our living way.

248. We believe we are walking around with our eyes open to what is going on around us, with a willingness to see abuse and I always thought that if violence took place in broad daylight for people to see that it would of course get reported but in reality how many of us turn our heads, walk past and do not do anything about it?

     1. That is true. One of the reasons why we look away is because it is dangerous. I once chased a mugger who dropped his loot and I let him go but a few weeks later another person who did the same less than 300m from that spot was knifed to death by their mugger.

249. Anon, this is a great reminder, thank you; ‘Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply, which naturally leads to our truly loving and not harming another, there will always be abuse in this world.’

250. ‘All this to keep me, I would say, separated from others, being an individual and away from the true purpose of why I am here – to feel deeply where people are at’ I can identify with this although when I’m truly honest I can say that whatever I have tried and to whatever extreme I have always been able to feel and everything is still here as it was so it is an illusion to think that we can escape, even if we can somehow feel more numb or be distracted for some period of time.

251. I can definitely feel that the more I deepen my own self awareness the less abusive I am towards myself and this naturally has a knock on effect with those people around me as I respect my self more I hold others in the same sense of integrity.

252. You nail it in your last sentence – it is about each of taking responsibility for deeply loving and appreciating ourselves and then we will apply that same standard to others.

     1. Yes, and in that quality, there will be no room left to accept abuse in anyway shape or form because it will stand out a mile and we will have radar detection. When we don’t take responsibility for ourselves and we let our own standards drop its easy to ignore, accept or numb ourselves to abuse from ourselves to ourselves, or from others to ourselves…. and even from ourselves to others.

253. Anon, I have just read your piece again and once again been inspired by your absoluteness. The strength of your conviction socks a very powerful punch. Inspirational stuff indeed!

254. Anything that is not love is abuse. As we observe and read what is love and confirm, the lovelessness gets weaker. Your article is timely reminder of what goes on in our lives. Thank you for sharing!

     1. Love this ‘As we observe and read what is love and confirm, the lovelessness gets weaker.’

255. ‘This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.’ I can very much relate to this. Recently I could have folded and not stood up to abuse but that didn’t feel ok because the person would not have got the lesson, at least from one person, that how he had acted was abusive and that he could not bully. I was very frightened standing up to this energy but then connected to a strength and committed to saying no no matter what the cost.

     I also felt how he got the message of this is not ok from someone who wasn’t vilifying him but respecting him as an equal. I haven’t heard from him since and do not know how he understood what happened on a conscious level but I do know instances like this are very powerful. I certainly will say no to abuse much earlier in the transaction that occurred.

256. This is really important what you have presented here ‘But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself’. This is not to berate ourselves but instead love ourselves deeply and to be really honest. For if we allow abuse in the smallest way, on some level, as harsh as this may sound we are actually condoning it. The phrase to ‘leave no stone unturned’ comes to mind here.

257. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse. This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.’ – this is so powerful and so important. There is always a bigger picture and whilst we may ‘think’ that standing up and saying no to any abuse that we receive is going to really ‘do’ anything in the whole scheme of things – this is where we are mis-taken. Every single thing we do and say has an effect that is either loving or harming. When we say no, we are saying no to the energy behind the abuse, we are no longer feeding it and allowing it to continue – it becomes weaker and over time, can no longer exist, unless we choose to let it.

     1. And it is through our collective choices that we have the world that we do. There’s no one to blame but ourselves. Yes there are unseen forces working tirelessly to get us to choose unloving options but those forces can only put the non loving options in front of us, they can’t actually force us to choose them.

258. On the weekend it was presented to me that we energetically bully each other way more than we do in more physical/obvious sense. This energetic bullying says, “Don’t you dare challenge me or make me uncomfortable”. Looking at relationships, even the ones that appear ‘ok’, this is going on. We all have ways of sidestepping the evolution another person can offer us and ways of shutting them down when they do ‘cross the line’. This is the abuse that completely undermines us and has allowed much of humanity to give up on each other.

259. So every action we make must be one thing or the other, either supporting the perpetuation of abuse or exposing it for all it is.

     1. Understanding this, that everything is either love, or it is not is very binary, there is no room to shirk our responsibility – the vast expanse of grey that we love to hide in is of our own creation, where we are actively choosing to avoid the truth of how things are, the only one being fooled is us.

     2. Most of us carry the cloak of abuse wherever we go, shrouding all and everything that we encounter in it’s voluminous cape.

     3. Yes very simple – no middle ground.

     4. So true when abuse is taking place we are either by standers allowing it or, we are exposing it. We have a choice to chose.

260. The depth of love, tenderness and fragility within all of us is GINORMOUS. The fact that we allow abuse to run rife in this world is a key indicator of just how far of track we really are. It is a situation that we need to keep on bringing back to the table time and again until the whole of humanity is empowered to see that it is by saying no the slightest hint of abuse within and around us that will finally enable us to erase it from our consciousness.

261. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” This is one of those questions that, when faced with a dilemma as to how you’re going to address something that feels too difficult to deal with, pulls you up and asks you to take the responsible steps to actually address what it is you so want to avoid. But in doing so, very often the challenge is not nearly as difficult or as challenging as our mind had led us to believe it was going to be and once addressed leaves us free to move on without carrying any excess baggage of unresolved issues.

262. Thank you for sharing your experiences it is inspiring for others to have the courage and voice to call out abuse when it comes their way and also on other levels, be honest when they could choose a more supportive way with other people.

263. ‘Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply, which naturally leads to our truly loving and not harming another, there will always be abuse in this world.’ Once we are open to really looking at abuse in detail it is quite shocking how we have allowed the rot to seep into all aspects of our lives. I totally get why we shut down and why so many are depressed because the level of abuse we have accepted is so far spread. But this is the point – we have accepted it and so we have to take responsibility for this state of affairs and begin to clear up the mess by, as you say, taking loving responsibility for ourselves first and foremost.

264. ‘I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.’ – Lack of understanding is a common cause of conflict, we often refuse to see the bigger picture of what is going on out of a need to be ‘right’ and to fulfil our own picture of how we need things to be.

     1. It is so true Eva when I lack understanding for another’s reaction i can go into judgment or control which ultimately only separates me from another and deems them as better or less than me.

265. ‘Do we care enough about how much people suffer to live in a different way, or are we happy with our comfort and indulgences in life?’ Wow what a question, asking us to take an honest look at how we live. I certainly feel the discomfort at such a direct ask, and know there is always more honesty, awareness and love to be brought.

     1. I love questions like this as they are very liberating and support us to choose another way, for comfort is actually very uncomfortable and holds us all back. Unimedpedia gives a good explanation of the type of comfort you are talking about here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-comfort.html

        1. Unimedpedia is a fantastic resource to deepen understanding of so many common words, like comfort. This quote stood out this morning when I checked out your link Nicola: “Comfort = anything that stops you evolving up and out of the hurts that keep you ingrained and isolated from being the love you truly are.” Serge Benhayon.

     2. I agree there is another level of honesty, awareness and love to be brought. We are constantly learning and evolving.

266. When we say yes to love, we say no to abuse and the more we say yes to love, the more we find ourselves hating abuse enough to call it a day.

267. What fascinates me about abuse is that we are often very blind to it, or more truthfully choose to not see it until it becomes so uncomfortable you can’t but see it and do something about it. We see this play out on the world stages as an example plastics, we have willfully ignored this abuse and now because it is so bad we cannot ignore it anymore. If we were willing to face things as soon as it feels not true, life would be so much simpler.

     1. I agree, we do so often call abuse normal life, but it is far from it and we are made to be loving, caring and sweet with one another, not selfish and harmful. We are capable and can choose, it but often put self interest and hurts in the way of how we are with one another.

268. Great point that it’s not about working back from the most extreme form of abuse out there and tolerating less and less severe forms of it, but it’s about respecting ourselves absolutely and making that our standard in relationships.

269. The more I allow myself to feel the sensitivity and delicateness that is my true nature, as it is for everyone, the less I tolerate any kind of abuse I inflict on myself. As you say, Anon, this feels like an honest starting point, to turn the tide of our collective acceptance of sub-standards in the way we treat ourselves and one another.

270. As we get clear about how we are treating ourselves, and bring more respect, decency and love into that relationship, and its then that our sensitivity increases, and we can pick out more and more of the day to day abuse that is going on all around us. The next step (well presented in your blog) is to call it out.

271. When we turn our blind eye to no more abuse, we turn our eye towards love.

272. It is terrible to consider that we have “normalised” abuse just as we have “normalised” ill health, exhaustion, family arguments and so many other things.

     1. Yes, interestingly enough we are masters at normalising that which does not serve anyone – basically all that is not love.

        1. Isn’t that weird, the other side being that we make love, and our glorious soulful qualities something special, extraordinary, miraculous etc whereas it is who we are and therefore our true normal.

273. A big self abuse that I indulge in is doing emails and social media late at night, not only do I lose track of time, but it leaves me hyped up and not ready to rest.When I leave everything to the morning, there is no desperation, I feel well rested and feel like I can do more, everything flows.

274. Through the smallest aspect of our lives we get to set the standard of what non-abuse looks like, after people feel that they get inspired. I was with Serge and I know others are with the way I live. Simple ripple effects to transform our abusive society one moment at a time.

275. That surely is the key, to understand why we are here and reflect in our livingness that any sort of abuse will just not stand.

276. The more we move in abuselessnes the more all the abuse will stand out even to the tiniest form of it.

277. Could we say for instance that our supermarkets in a way are abusive to people because of all the products they sell that are not always that supportive to our health and well-being or are they a mirror for us because we are in demand?

278. Abuse is when we get used by energy. It begins within though, with the thoughts we allow way before any dramatic acts take place. Do you allow lies in your inner space?

279. The truth is calling out abuse has no emotion like guilt, shame, timidity, harshness, fierceness etc. There is only love and understanding. This is the foundation towards ending abuse, it is deep and absolute understanding and beholding of ourselves no matter what in life.

280. Abuse is a great reminder for us to look at ourselves. I would approach it with the deepest love with no amount of sympathy, then what we cannot avoid is our awareness.

     1. Beautiful, approaching with deep love and understanding so we increase our awareness is so beautiful.

281. When we receive abuse and make this personal, go into victimhood or fear, which I have done for many many years, I find it is very difficult to expose abuse or do anything about it. Whenever someone hurls abuse towards themselves or to another person they are not just attacking one person, this is an attack on the rest of humanity. So, when we bring a greater purpose to exposing abuse there is no fight or tension in our body, it is simply a part of clearing and cutting the evil that runs humanity.

     1. I love what you share here, Chanly88, exposing how when we go into victimhood, we are choosing to take on the abuse, it has a hold on us, making us feel like we’re trapped, which is exactly what is wanted, energetically.
        However, allowing the space to step back and connect with the bigger picture – we de- personalise and the hold is no longer there.

282. The more we learn how to love ourselves, pay attention to even the smallest self deprecating thoughts and actions, the easier it becomes to address the subtle levels of abuse in our external environment and nip them in the bud. It is just living proof that the change we want in the world always starts from within.

283. ‘All this to keep me, I would say, separated from others, being an individual and away from the true purpose of why I am here …’ – Life is set up to celebrate the individual – we are led to believe that we want the accolades, the recognition, the glory, when in truth we can’t get more glorious than who we already are. Who wants separation and individualism when we can have the interconnectedness of us all living as one together. Why settle for less when we are a part of so much more than we could ever imagine.

284. There is such a huge level of honesty in observing that: “I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.” It is easy to point the finger and act indignant that something is happening, yet this level of honesty brings in the clarity and the empowerment of realising our own part in the equation.

285. What I have recently got to feel is when I dismiss myself and what I feel and allow what doesn’t feel true to run then this is absolute abuse towards myself. Call out the abuse is the only way back to our true loving and divine nature which we then can share with all.

286. The notion that any abuse, how small it might be, that I allow in my own life, adds to the abuse in this world, makes me very restless in my seat. Time to up the love bar and say no to things I have allowed that are not loving.

287. ‘But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself. I had to get clear and re-define what abuse actually is.’ – When we really start to understand what abuse is in it’s entirety, it can be a huge challenge to accept the grim extent of it.

     1. I agree Eva because the ‘grim extent’ of the truth about abuse is that we have based our entire world on it, even the so called ‘good bits’.

288. This is a stark reminder of just how self abusive we are and the one that caught me going ‘ouch’ is in relationships where ‘not speaking’ is considered abuse. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed that we can’t speak but that leaves everyone else not knowing what’s going on, and the stony silence does feel absolutely awful in the body.

     1. The silent treatment was used quite a lot when I was growing up, it definitely felt like a form of punishment without any explanation as to what the offence actually was. Unfortunately I then chose to adopt this myself for quite some time, understanding how effective it was. However, as you share, it’s chronic abuse to our own body and for the other person and such a waste of time. So much simpler to simply share how we are feeling, however clumsy it may sound at times, at least it’s a starting point for a discussion/sharing to grow with the potential of growth and understanding for everyone involved.

     2. I can totally relate Carmel and the poison/tension we feel from not expressing or exposing abuse causes more harm than we realise. Honesty is so key to supporting us to go there, dig out the rot and expose abuse of any form.

289. There is one thing that I know very well is abuse, more so self-abuse if I was really to define it. I think that is the key to really define — Anon has pinpointed all those ways where you can be abusive.

     The other thing I know is to build a foundation of love in the body by starting with appreciating your qualities. This will offset the self-abusive ways and thus thoughts that lead to the physical abuse of the body. Also .. there is no end point to the abuse as you dissolve every thought or judgement that is not love.

290. Every time we turn a blind eye to abuse we openly invite even more abuse.

     1. So true Elizabeth, this is what I have noticed too and the more loving we are with ourselves the easier it is to expose abuse.

     2. But why do we turn a blind eye to abuse, what is the benefit we get from that act? Could it be that we are comfortable with that abuse around because then we do not have to look at our own contribution to it? With other words, we can have our own private abusive behaviours?

     3. Turning a so called blind eye is in itself abuse.

291. “I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.” We could also express the above as I have not loved enough to say YES to love which by default means no to abuse.

     1. Well said, Nicola – I have not loved myself enough to dis-allow any abuse. The more I love myself, there will be no room, no possibility for the abuse to exist. As I focus on appreciating and celebrating all that I am, the abuse will just not be an option, it’s very black and white. Right now I can feel there is way too much grey.

     2. Nicola this makes absolute sense to me and looking back on most of my life, I didn’t love myself enough to say no to abuse. Not nearly enough.

292. To start to bring this level of awareness to our own lives, and to identify those pockets of abuse that we still allow and start to say no to them is something to be celebrated indeed as it supports us to say no to the bigger and sometimes more challenging areas in our lives that we have so often come to accept as ‘normal’.

293. ‘I was and still am at times abusive towards others from lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way, creating drama or complications, giving up or withdrawing.’ This might seem like normal responses to life and by the fact that everyone does it might seem harmless. But taking a step back and looking at this objectively it highlights just how out of kilter we really are from living our natural sensitive and loving way on a mass scale.

294. The problem is, when we turn ‘a blind eye’ to our own abusive behaviours we become insensitive and more susceptible to abuse others, unknowingly.

     1. Yes indeed, and I would like to add that because of the level of abuse that we more or less consistently inflict on ourselves we are much more likely to accept and perhaps not even sense abuse from others.

        1. Yes Eva, this is a big one. To be self abusive invites abusive behaviour from others and we, more likely to accept it.

     2. Abuse breeds abuse.

295. To take our blinds off and choose to truly see the state the world is in can be a very scary thing, but only then can we in truth heal not only ourselves but also the mess we have created.

296. I have heard that Einstein quote before and love it – it is very true and applies to us all.

297. I completely agree that when we say no to any form of abuse in our lives (including self-abuse) we are not just supporting ourselves but also everyone in the world who is the recipient of abuse anywhere. We are raising the general standards of how we want our societies to live and interact with each other.

     1. Both on a practical level (the other person, and any one witnessing it hear and feel the ‘No’), and a wider energetic level as different standard are set and the ripple does go wider than we can imagine from our actions.

298. Abuse makes us feel weak, worthless and like we can’t stand up for what we feel is true. It is bad when it comes from another, but it is worse, much worse when we cast it upon ourselves. Because we cannot say no to abuse from others, if we are abusing ourselves all of the time through our thoughts and actions.

299. The whole of the human race needs to learn that just because something happens a lot doesn’t make it normal and if it falls short of love it is abuse. I used to live a lifestyle where everyone around me abused alcohol to extremes and that made it normal and it wasn’t till I came across Serge Benhayon and he made me realise that it was anything but normal to continually poison ourselves, and I was able to then step away from that scene.

300. In reading this blog again, while I read over it the other day, I now was stopped by the line ‘But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself.’ Now I understand why abuse just comes to me and I only afterwards notice that I have allowed abuse in my life. It are the ingrained behaviours that arise in certain situations and still allow some level of abuse while when I truly feel into it, I deeply hate it. And that hate will help me to spot abuse from the tiniest spec of abuse that is intending to come to me and instead of going into the old behaviours I will stand strong to not allow that energy to enter my space any more.

301. When we truly allow ourselves to feel what the abuse is doing to us on a daily basis we will immediately stop with it as it is so harming and debilitating not only on a personal level but also in our societies and in all relationships we have. Can you imagine how life would be if the was no abuse any more? To me it sounds like heaven I have a faint feeling off but I do think not ever have experienced in my life.

302. The greatest blindness we can have is to think that things just occur by chance or happenstance. They are there to reflect something key to you and me. Abuse will continue on until we are willing to see our part in the bigger outplay. Where do we do that? Or say that’s ok?

     1. Absolutely Joseph and I would add to that (with the deepest of respect to anyone who has experienced abuse) that it is also common and easy to fall into a victim disempowered mentality with abuse without considering the bigger picture of how we have all allowed abuse to flourish in our societies and also the levels of self-abuse that we allow, which possibly may be a factor in how much abuse we receive from others in our lives? I know for me once I realised how much abuse I was actually allowing to occur in my life I felt much more empowered to change things and stop being a victim to it. This remains an ongoing process for me as I uncover more and more subtle forms of abuse that I am still to say no to.

303. Our world is currently very abusive and the reason it is the way it is has a lot to do with the fact that many people are living with abuse and don’t even realise it is abuse. We as a society have normalised many forms of abuse and at times even encourage it. Examples of this are allowing competition and comparison to be a part of our life, ignoring our sensitivity, living with disregard and so on.

304. As you say, Anon, there is no middle ground when it comes to abuse, and we harm each other beyond measure when we allow it into our lives and relationships. Even though we may be desensitised by having accepted abuse as the norm, we cannot but be impacted because we are deeply sensitive beings who feel everything.

     1. And impacted we are. Just look to our societies and how people do move in it. They move not freely but rigidly because of the suit of armour they are wearing. A suit of armour put in place as a way of protection to all the abuse they have experienced (or allowed) as normal in human life.

305. Whatever we learn to embody eventually becomes the laws we live by. When we address abuse on a personal level, both within our selves and in our immediate environments, it becomes an embodied truth that we then naturally apply to every area of our lives that in turn inspires others and so over time, we steadily close the gaps where abuse has been allowed to fester.

306. Us not living as who we truly are is a corruption of the heavenly body that we have been bestowed with and an abuse of our essence and true purpose in life.

307. So, from the title, turning a blind eye in itself constitutes abuse.

308. Abuse is relative to where we find ourselves in life. How we live and what we accept. We would be hard pressed to find many people in the world who do not tolerate a level of abuse in relationship to themselves and then with others. Unfortunately there are certain things in life that have been so normalised that we do not even see it as abuse, so because we do not see this, the abuse gets more and more extreme for us to take note.

309. Anon, your list of ways in which you have abused yourself is a great reflection for us all of how we have normalised abuse and how extensive and endemic it is within our society. I feel very few of us can honestly say that, we don’t do any of these things you mention, and, as importantly, that if/when we do, we’re not clocking and nominating what we’re doing as the abuse that it is.

310. I think it’s awesome that you took the matters to the police, it’s not an easy process and really it’s amazing that you got a conviction as well!

311. Adding to evil energy, doesn’t only impact ourselves but also others and we never know what form the energy will take and what the result of it will be.

312. This article is a living breathing example of acting on this quote and changing our collective relationship with abuse “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it” Albert Einstein.

313. So many times we can talk about not wanting abuse in our lives and yet so often abuse is everywhere and in our nearly every part of our life until we slowly say no.

314. We can only ‘turn a blind eye’ once we have seen something and once we have seen something we can never undo the fact that we have seen it, it is in fact seen forever.

315. We have found many ways to cover up abuse such as calling it a ‘joke’, saying to other people they should not be so sensitive, making it ‘just a saying’ or believing it is healthy for a relationship to have some arguments in them and championing those who abuse their bodies in sport, to name but a few. We have become masters at excusing ourselves and each other so we can keep the status quo and do not have to deal with what we have allowed into our lives.

     1. Very true, especially the ‘don’t be so sensitive’ this really shuts people down in the worst way as our sensitivity is greatest asset, so these throw away comments are carefully constructed to harden us up in life and lose touch with that which will ignite us.

        1. exactly, it is our sensitivity that will expose any form as abuse of what it is so by shutting down our sensitivity we are creating the possibility for abuse to exist.

316. We have first bastardised what love is and then lowered the bars bit by bit so we now have a world where abuse has become a normal everyday part of society.

     1. This makes so much sense Carolien, if we do not understand the true meaning of love we do not understand the true meaning of abuse as well.

317. A great point – by enabling the abuse we are in fact magnifying it.

318. ‘There is no middle ground for abuse’ – Abuse is abuse down to the smallest of detail, yet most of us live as if we are ignorant to this fact.

     1. this important to realize, that there is no middle ground as we tend to excuse much of the lesser extremes thinking we can park it in a ‘grey zone’ But there is no such thing. if there is even the tiniest shred of abuse, as you say, it is still abuse and not love.

319. Dear Anon its amazingly self empowering to hear how you have explored, flushed out and nominated the abuse that has seeped into our daily lives and by doing so how this builds a marker of self regard that truly honours us and in turn those around us.

320. Recently after a swim I was sitting in the steam room when two women started a conversation about a woman they had not seen for a while and one of them expressed in a very loud tone a couple of judgements about her and left the room. I felt how she just had dumped her frustration and anger in the room and left it for us. I felt how abusive it was for those who were still sitting in the steamroom. We had to ‘recover’ and clear the room whether we were conscious of what had happened or not. It made me aware that it is always our responsibility to not abuse others and to live and express in a way that when we leave, we leave others in harmony.

     1. Situations like this also puzzle me with the question, when do I say something about this and when do I not say something? With people that I know I find myself speaking up about something like this, but with strangers I hesitate and often stay silent.

321. We feel abuse when it is present but we don’t always want to admit what we feel. To address abuse we have to get very honest about why we have accepted it for so long and then we can go about changing it.

     1. I love the point you raise here, Elizabeth – that in order to shift our ‘acceptance’ of abuse, we must first consider and be honest about why we have said ‘yes’ and allowed it to be a part of our lives for so long.

322. This shows abuse as the enormity it is and how can be very subtle and yes just as harming as all other forms.
     We often turn a blind eye but if we want to sensitive enough to feel that even a look can be abusive, then we can start to change the extent that we abuse.

     1. My goodness – the level of abuse that is meted out and encountered every day is quite scary. It is definitely our responsibility to work out when we are needy, withdrawn, shut down, in reaction, in denial etc., and to be aware of how our choices impact those around us on varying levels so that we start to heal what has made us react so that we no longer impose this on others.

323. Anything that is lacking in love is abuse.

324. It may sound very simple and idealistic, though if each and every person was to address all the areas of abuse, both gross and subtle, in our lives then we would have no abuse in our outer world. That we are all responsible for the abuse collectively is worthy of deep consideration and action.

     1. ‘That we are all responsible for the abuse collectively is worthy of deep consideration and action’ This is true Victoria and probably one of the hardest things to do. It is not easy to admit a seemingly slight abuse towards ourselves contributes in the grotesque and extreme abuse we see in the world around us. We want to think we can get away with it, but really we cannot. Ouch

325. I love your definitions here of anything that is not love or harmony is abuse and this completely expands the meaning for me and it means that so many behaviours that I/we take for granted as normal need to be reviewed and looked at in a different way.

326. Abuse can be in the subtlest form though it is equally registered in the body as such.

327. “Abuse is anything that is not love” – which paints the current picture and quality of our self-created world.

328. Looking at the list of ways that you have abused yourself Anon, I’d have to admit there is nothing on the list I haven’t done to myself also and maybe I could add a couple to it, and I have too often not spoken up about abuse coming from others so I do find this an inspiring read to be more aware and be more vocal when I see or feel it.

329. When we look at abuse and its source, it is like a loose thread on a jumper, once you pull it, everything unravels.

330. ‘I have not hated abuse enough to say absolutely no to it any way, shape or form, be it in how I treat myself or what I accept from others.’ – this feels very pivotal, it’s the hating of the energy that is so deeply infecting our society and harming us all so violently that is the trigger for us to say NO. When our hate becomes stronger than our ability to turn a blind eye, or justify, that’s when change can truly take place.

     1. Yes I agree with this and I have noticed that we have become comfortable with certain levels of abuse in our lives that we deem acceptable and as long as it does not get too extreme we are ok with it, but maybe this is where the problem lies. We can’t condone/accept abuse in one area and not expect it to flourish and escalate into other areas. We need to really feel the energy behind all forms of abuse and learn to detest that energy.

331. “Abuse is anything that is not love.” This certainly puts what abuse is into perspective.

     1. Indeed Jennifer. There are no grey areas here and no sitting on the fence with this one. Just simple black and white – either choose love or abuse.

     2. Yes, is humanity open to admit the fact that our entire societiy and personal lives in all majority are based on abuse.

        1. This is a big one to come to terms with.

     3. It certainly does Jennifer and we first have to understand what love is to understand what is not love.

332. The more we open our eyes to the small abuses that we take for granted, the greater the opportunity to establish lasting harmony in our world. Although it seems a million miles away at present, it is a quality that can be reclaimed with astonishing ease once we truly commit to eradicating the subtle levels of abuse we have come to accept in our everyday lives.

333. We live in a world that is deep in abuse but this is no excuse to join in and this also highlights to me that we have a huge job to do, clean up the mess and say no to abuse.

334. The more ‘obvious’ abuse is easy to label as such, but how aware are we of how we move, how we relate, speak to and treat ourselves – are we deeply loving and respectful of ourselves, or trashing ourselves at every opportunity, bashing ourselves for every self-judged ‘mistake’? We cannot hope to build a loving world if we don’t learn to love ourselves, and stop the abuse within and towards ourselves, first.

335. “Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply, which naturally leads to our truly loving and not harming another, there will always be abuse in this world.” – we cannot change another, however, what we can do is work on ourselves and keep loving ourselves more and more so that we raise the bar/the standard and do not allow unsupportive behaviours. This then can act as a reflection for others and potentially inspire them to do likewise.

336. Great question Anon – “what makes us settle for less… what makes us accept, choose and allow abuse in our lives?” – How is it that one person’s standard is higher or lower than another’s? Could it have anything to do with the care and respect we hold for ourselves and for others and the level of this that we hold? It is actually our ‘normal’ to deeply care and respect self and others but somewhere along the way as we grow up, this seems to become a forgotten way of being as the world reflects to us to be uncaring and disrespectful and from there is it easy to spiral downwards to go into more obvious forms of abuse.

     1. This is a great reminder, especially when we may find it so much more ‘acceptable’ to abuse our selves, rather than to abuse those around us. We can’t truly respect and care for others when we are not choosing to do this for ourselves first. The quality of relationship we have with others is the same quality of relationship that we have with ourselves first.

     2. Great question.. how is it that what is abusive changes from person to person and within ourselves, day to day, month to month, year to year? All dependent upon how we feel about ourselves and our willingness to deepen this relationship with care and love, right here and right now, not dismissing what we can feel or putting it off the changes and choices that are to be made and leaving them for another day.

337. Thank you Anon – this is a great way to start the conversation about abuse and how it can be very subtle and refined or more obvious and in your face – in the end abuse is abuse no matter what form.

338. ‘Do we care enough about how much people suffer to live in a different way, or are we happy with our comfort and indulgences in life?’ I’ve noticed the more I let myself feel the lovelessness and acknowledge that this is no way to live, the more willing I am to change my ways.

339. Sometimes it feels really hard to reflect something different when everything around you is saying stay the same yet as you say if we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?

     1. That’s the name of the game isn’t it, for us to go ‘oh it’s easier to just stay the same’, but I know that doesn’t sit so easily with me these days and that there are always more and more situations and previous areas that were comfortable just ‘fitting in’, where we can instead bring that reflection of something different.

     2. Yes, I have been there and done that where I have thrown my hands up in the air and say there is no way out of the mess we have created, a world that is full of abuse and it can at times feel all too hard. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and the amazing people at Universal Medicine for reflecting to the world that there is another way. Our issues are not as big as we think and the answers to our global and personal issues are right in front of our nose.

        1. Yes indeed, thank God for Serge Benhayon for showing there is another way to live, for being the most loving, non-imposing, truthful person you could ever meet and as a consequence of that he is on the receiving end of more abuse than one can imagine. Go figure!

        2. The great thing is, that the answers to our personal issues naturally lead to the answers to our global issues.

340. Anon, your insights into abuse are deeply supportive in exposing what has been accepted as so
     common-place in society today. Your choices are reflecting there IS another way. Thank you!
     “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?”

341. Getting clear on abuse means being honest about the abuse we ourselves cause. So no wonder we often prefer to gloss over.

     1. So true Joseph, once we are honest about how we live with the abuse we are more able to see how it plays out in all areas of our life and our relationship with the rest of the world.

     2. If we all chose to nominate just one area where we abuse ourselves, this honesty and choice to be aware of how we are choosing to live would make an enormous difference, we would then have a deeper awareness for all the other, less obvious areas where we have normalised abuse. The more we work on our selves, we are also working on our relationships with everyone else.

342. “to reflect to people that there is another way to live.” Seeing another way of living through a persons living way, is much more powerful than hearing words and often without the lived experience behind them.

     1. It is in fact the only way anything will change, words without the lived way is damaging on many levels.

343. When we dont say anything in abusive situations we are in fact saying yes to abuse by allowing it to be… and this affects us and many others as it is carried throughout our lives unless dealt with.

     1. Well said Paula – how important is it to speak up or say NO clearly. And this NO that is expressed needs to be a full body NO and not one that is simply spoken from the head. Words are only as strong as the livingness that lies behind them. If we live a level of love and hold a standard that does not allow abuse, then the NO will come with that as an authority.

        1. Love this Henrietta… “Words are only as strong as the livingness that lies behind them.” When we bring authority we are truly heard. Children and dogs have a radar for a ‘No’ that comes with authority and a ‘No’ that doesn’t!

344. You are spot on that there is actually no middle ground with abuse, even though we like to grade the levels of abuse and accept the lesser evils. Our body registers it as abuse or not and this feeling is very black and white. So we do have a long way to go in reclaiming this line in the sand in society but it needs to start somewhere.

345. “But what really struck me was how many people – both women and men, such as some police officers, professionals and people you know – turn a blind eye to abuse like this.” I feel this may be due to what the article opened with, that we only see the extremes of abuse as abuse these days. Professionals like the police may have given up of acting on a ‘minor’ complaint, not because they don’t care but because they know it will be dismissed.

     1. I agree, Fiona, however, it’s that ‘giving up’ energy that allows things to continue as they are. It only takes one person to stand up and vocalise that any abuse is not ok for others to feel the invitation to stand up for what they also know to be true. The more we all choose to say no to abuse in our own lives, the more we support each other to say NO as we collectively de-construct the energetic hold that ‘abuse’ currently has over us.

        1. What are the standards by which we want to live together? Are we saying that these ‘minor’ offences are ok to be a part of the way we interact with each other, if not, something needs to change so they can be addressed and we can set standards that truly respect and honour each and every one of us, equally. As with any change, it starts with our selves first.

        2. I agree Alison we need to say NO to abuse but we need to do it by saying YES to love otherwise our no in itself is abusive just like violent peacemongerers!

346. I remember there were times when I was in session with my psychiatrist when I would get so frustrated with myself or the non-communication with my psychiatrist that I would beat myself up I would hit my head with my fists quite badly. The psychiatrist would then hold a cushion to my head so that I didn’t further damage myself until I ran out of steam. But at no time do I remember being asked why I was wanting to physically abuse myself so whatever hurt that was being triggered never got resolved and if we do not resolve these hidden hurts they just fester and re surface again somewhere else in our bodies. I can honestly say that the workshops of Universal Medicine and the presentations of Serge Benhayon have enabled me to work through my hurts. I have found this to be the biggest difference between Psychiatry and Universal Medicine. I spent years in Psychiatry but I never addressed the hurts so really nothing changed I never got truly well instead learnt to cope until the next crisis sent me into overwhelm again. Today I am a completely different person, I am not withdrawn from life, I am no longer depressed, I do not beat myself up instead I live a simple but joyful life where every day is brand new and something to look forward to, rather than dragging myself out of bed feeling so tired and not wanting to face the day.

347. There is so much in what is shared here, how if we abuse ourselves in anyway, we cannot in fact see or call out abuse in the wider world for we will tolerate it … the sad fact is the more extreme forms of abuse exist in the world because we tolerate and live with our own less extreme forms of abuse, so the starting point for us all is to get really honest about abuse, and how we are with it in our own lives and begin to unpick the comfort we’ve lived in for ages where we consider we can have our own private Idahos where we can quietly but only slightly abuse ourselves be it in our heads or in our houses. Any abuse no matter how minor is abuse.

348. To admit we have created the abuse is to admit we have walked away from our true innate qualities. A very bitter pill to swallow – as you say if we don’t make the changes then who will. I like yourself have started to look deeper at exposing and re-defining what abuse is on a daily level and it can be so sophisticated and subtle and this level of abuse is rotten.

349. “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” Einstein. This quote needs to be up on notice boards in all homes and places of work everywhere.

350. Abuse is carried out by perpetrators, but is endorsed and allowed to continue and spiral out of control by ‘innocent’ silent bystanders.

351. If we turn a blind eye there is no chance for change in this world but a guarantee that things are going to get worse because we allow them to fester.

     1. Abuse is everywhere and it’s intensity is extreme and yet we still manage to pretend or deny – how bad does it have to get? A question that I am asking myself a lot at the moment – because I know it, see it, can’t deny it and yet are every one of my moves made to counter that abuse, to say no to it, to show a different way? No they are not.

        1. And yet the awareness and nomination of that, that there is abuse everywhere and that we know our part in it, is already a great step towards a more loving way of living.

352. Focusing on the dramatic and extreme version of anything and considering what less than that as okay, is a clever way of numbing ourself to the actual extent of lack of love, care and truth we face in daily life, whether generated by us or others.

353. If we let it go, we are saying yes.

354. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” I had the simplest of conversations with a cab driver yesterday, nothing complicated – just a chat about coffee. “Oh, I’ve never looked at it like that.”

355. Often when we see what’s going on out there in the world we see our lot as ok or doing fine. But in truth abuse comes in many forms and it is for us to say no to everything that is not love.

     1. So true Julie and interesting that this acceptance of some form of abuse relative to what is seen as a greater evil is based on the illusion that we are ok if it’s not happening to us…

        1. So, even though we may not agree or like what’s going on around us, we turn a blind eye out of security and fear. Otherwise, many more of us would stand up and shout to the rooftops, but we don’t because we do not want to draw attention to ourselves. I get this sense of reductionism and skulking around in the shadows so as not to be noticed. The illusion is that the abuse is still happening closer to home, but we do not see it as we are too focused on what’s happening elsewhere.

356. When we accept abuse of any form in our everyday life, we are creating a momentum that affects the quality of our conversations and movements. It is easy to see how this then perpetuates and becomes the accepted norm.

357. Anon, I love the detailed list of what you have come to learn is abuse, it’s a list worth rereading and revisiting as there is a lot on offer to be considered.

358. “Abuse – Turning a Blind Eye no More” – yes when our eyes are opened to love they open more to the seeing of abuse.

359. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.’ it’s great that you did this and we all need to realise that if we do not report these things or express what we feel when we see something happening to others, or even challenge the behaviour we have which are anything other than loving to self or others and therefore abusive we are effectively making abuse acceptable, saying it’s ok and not a problem. It really is a case of being part of the problem or part of the solution, no middle ground.

     1. Yes, no matter how much we twist and turn and pretend it doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t concern ourselves, we cannot escape the fact that it all begins with ourselves and that every chocie we make affects the all.

360. Anon, lets all stand together in no longer turning a blind eye to the depth of abuse that goes on in the world.

361. ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. ‘ This sentence simply summarizes everything and puts each situation of life in its right place. No sweetener works after that. Love is love and anything less of it, is just abuse. Maybe with this clear knowing of how everything goes, it can be found a sense of discomfort, as with this clarity, the choice of turning a blind eye is seen for what it is and the responsibility behind it, can’t be hidden anymore.

     1. Amparo, reading your comment has helped me to see that when we take a stand against abuse, we are in fact standing up for love.

362. To consistently say no to abuse, requires a life committed to love, discipline and resolve so we don’t fall prey to all the attacks and distractions that come our way. We don’t need to play computer games or watch TV there is enough drama playing out in real life to keep us fully aware and vigilant.

363. What shocks is how broken down we’ve become as human beings that we don’t even know what abuse is, especially self abusive behaviours exposed so well in this article. If we routinely abuse ourselves, we cannot recognise or reject abuse from others,

364. When we become aware of what love is, it is astonishing how much abuse there is in ourselves and the world. To speak up and say no to abuse is fundamental. To accept or add to it condones the behaviour and is equally harmful to self and others.

365. Its great to look at abuse in such depth, the no stone unturned approach and really see that anything less than love is abuse. If that is the marker most of us still have such a long road ahead of us.

366. “Anything less than love is abuse.” Wow that is really something most of us has to swallow! Let us love ourselves more and more until there is no abuse anymore!

367. As soon as you say yes to saying no, Abuse arrives from every angle as if to say ‘hey look at me and have a go!’. But in reality it was there all along, hidden as ‘the norm’. You can see why we choose not to rock the boat and have an ‘easy’ life.

368. Abuse is shocking and grevious no matter how small it is, because we are made of love and anything not of love is deeply unnatural in us, and to feel shocked is the honesty we allow ourselves to feel what choices we have allowed in this life and past.

369. Only love can lead to love. All the abuse in the world cannot be solved with abuse. There is no need to fight or be frightened of abuse, no need to be shocked either, we are full of it ourselves. Not just saying no, but being love where there is no right or wrong, but just love, is the only way to go. We are all on this path of return altogether.

     1. ‘Only love can lead to love.’ – How true, it can’t be said more simply than that. Choose love and there is instantly love.

        1. The simple way towards anything that is not of love we see in the world.

370. ‘Never once did I consider that abuse – which we all normalise and make okay, which we turn a blind eye to daily – is in all our lives.’ – Me too, I felt exactly the same way, until it was pointed out to me that anything that isn’t love is abuse – there is no in between. Yes, there are varying degrees of abuse, however, the energetic source is the same. Therefore, if we are allowing someone to speak to us harshly, because we know they’re stressed and we know they don’t mean to hurt us (all justification for not speaking up), we are saying yes to abuse.

371. Great to expose all the levels and layers of abuse, but at the end of the day… abuse is abuse – no matter how big or small – it is the same energy infiltrating and impacting our lives.

372. “Where there is any form of dis-harmony there is abuse…” Very true… and where there is abuse there is no love.

373. Thank you for sharing this, Anon. Inspiring to read how you didn’t just brush it off but were inspired to take action, to speak up, to be heard – to say no to abuse within yourself first, and from there, in all other areas of your life. When I first heard ‘if it’s not love, it’s abuse’, I wanted to come up with all these grey areas.. the ‘yes but…’ scenario – and like you, considered abuse as ‘extreme’ behaviours like you’ve listed. I so appreciate the simplicity of this statement, and how what is loving one day, can be abusive the next, as we continue to deepen our understanding of experience of what feels loving and true, based on deepening our commitment to care and to be honest about what we feel.

374. Gosh! This could so easily be my biography too! We are all aware of the gross levels of abuse that exist in the world today, but it all has to start somewhere and that somewhere is inside of us. When we entertain even the slightest negative thought towards our selves, or harm our bodies in the slightest way, we allow the seed of abuse to begin to fester and grow. If we want to live in a world free of abuse, the journey begins with loving every inch of ourselves inside and out, warts and all.

375. It suits us (humanity) to keep our focus of abuse at the more dramatic end of the scale (rape, torture, war, slavery etc…) and we don’t have to take responsibility/see the other end of the scale where we abuse ourselves and others on a daily basis. If we broaden abuse, as you have done here, you can see quite clearly how we do it. Only when we get truly honest about abuse, can true change truly happen.

376. Massive thanks to Serge Benhayon and the people at Universal Medicine, more and more people are standing up to expose the various forms of abuse. I am in my early forties and this is the first time in my life I am able to stand up to abuse and not play the victim or go into sympathy. And, since deepening my self-love, this has supported me to not allow abuse to be a part of my life and I am able to see clearly that abuse does not belong to our natural way of life. By letting abuse slide and ignoring it pretending it didn’t happen, we are perpetuating it and allowing it to grow and fester, this is not loving at all.

     1. Yes deepening our self love means we raise our standards and are willing to accept less lovelessness in our lives. As we do this on a continuous basis we are redefining what abuse is for us and letting others see what is possible.

377. I used to take abuse personally and get very upset by it. Now, without the emotional attachments, I can see so clearly what needs to be done. I was amazing at how I am no longer emotionally affected thanks to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and due to understanding of what energy is behind the abuse. Also, by depersonalising abuse no matter if it is from a close family member or someone I meet in public, I am able to report it and take the necessary steps to expose it for what it is.

378. When we are super honest with ourselves and acknowledge that there are ways we treat ourselves that are abusive, we have the key to understand the hugeness of the level of abuse in this world, abuse that people often accept simply because they consider it to be ‘normal’. Staying up late may be something people do without question, but if it is night after night, then our precious body is being abused; it is as simple as that. To make a start to break down the abuse in the world that horrifies us daily, we need to begin to dismantle the abuse, both big and small that we subject ourselves to. Change in the world comes from changing us first.

     1. What I felt reading your comment, Ingrid, is the gift that’s being offered when we call out abuse, as the other person most probably has no idea that they are being ‘abusive’. By speaking up, we shouldn’t worry about how others will react – it’s the most loving action to take, allowing the other person to consider their behaviour/choices in a completely different light and to be aware of how they are affecting themselves and those around them.

        1. I so agree Alison, that it is of the utmost importance that we call out abuse of any degree, for as you say, “the person most probably has no idea that they are being abusive”. This clearly demonstrates the insidiousness of so many of society’s accepted normals. And to call out this abuse is definitely as act of love, an act that comes with no expectations, simply the truth

     2. “Change in the world comes from changing us first.” Yes I agree Ingrid.. We cant expect the world to change if we don’t accept responsibility for the part we play in the world, whether it be not abusing ourselves to the smallest degree, calling out abuse when we see it or claiming our power and our light in our movements – and thus inspiring others.

        1. It seems to me, from the reaction of most to the abuse and other issues in the world, that most people feel that they are too ‘small’ to make a difference; that’s theirs is only one voice and what possible change could they bring about? So maybe it’s time to raise our children to know the power of their one voice and that, as their voice is a part of the whole they can definitely make a difference to the world they live in, a world that we are all equally responsible for.

379. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.’ – To know and live by the fact that we all play an equally important part in the whole, is not only life changing, it affects the entire humanity.

     1. “we all play an equally important part in the whole” To walk with this understanding empowers us to live life responsibly, however we are in life affects every other human being.

     2. Absolutely, it’s inspiring the bigger picture that is offered here, where we relate our actions back to how they effect or could support everyone truly.

380. It’s never too late to redefine abuse. It’s something I do regularly.

     1. Yes, a little like redefining self care, it’s constantly changing as I deepen in my level of love towards myself more abuse gets exposed. The more we see the abuse the more we choose to deepen in self care.

     2. I like this Nick. If we are making changes in our lives as to how we live and look after ourselves and others, then the needle on the barometer of abuse is going to be moving. It is important that we are open to this and embrace our new markers.

381. If we do not feel ourselves worthy to not abusing ourselves where will we find the impulse and strength to say not to abuse coming from outside of us? We can look at others and wonder why they have allowed something to happen to them but in the greater scope of things we can learn to understand not only what abuse truly is, but how it builds and how people can grow so accustomed to it that they seem powerless against it.

382. The more we reconnect to our sensitivity and delicateness the more we will redefine what abuse truly is and in the end we will find that anything that is of a lesser quality then the divine glory that we are in essence is most definitely abuse.

     1. And taking the above into consideration we can understand why some are not sharing our own feelings of abuse but at the same time it shows how we cannot determine for another ever what is abuse and what is not.

383. Abusing ourselves has become so normal that many wear it as a badge of honour. I know this sounds ridiculous eh! But when we really feel what abusing ourselves gives us, then you can feel the protection in it. It makes us all look the same, avoid jealousy, not stand out, be a victim, get sympathy, be left alone and not be taken seriously. It’s the absolute opposite of what our body is screaming out for us to listen, that our particles are made up of the universe, love, harmony, joy, respect etc. and that is what we need to reflect and show on earth.

     1. Very true Aimee, it is higly socially expected to push ourselves over the limits, the best ones even get a golden medal for it. It is a far cry from the qualities of love, equality and true respect.

     2. So true Aimee – the drinking culture in this country is a great example – Feeling terrible after a ‘big night out’ is something that’s celebrated, it gives you ‘cool status’ amongst your peers (and this isn’t restricted to the younger generation). The pressure on young people to join in and drink obscene amounts of alcohol to match their mates is enormous – you’re ‘no fun’ if you don’t join in – perhaps the reason people are ridiculed for not taking part is that you then become a reflection for everyone else, offering that there is another choice to be made that doesn’t abuse you’re body and you can still have fun – true fun. The ridicule is actually coming from the hurt felt by those who are drinking themselves silly, because they are choosing to abuse their bodies in this way.

384. “…Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple…” As we develop and deepen the relationship of Self-love, this process brings to the surface levels of abuse that can be discarded.

385. It’s gigantic to have this stuff on record; a foothold on the cliff, which the next person will be able to get a grip on.

386. “If we don’t reflect that there is another way to live, then who is going to?” And where will we end if we simply accept the world as it is? We all deep down know what love is and that we all deserve this love and this love only. When we all start to live from our inner truth the world will change rapidly and dramatically towards a more loving and harmonious one.

387. Last night I received a sexually tainted email from someone who claims he has been watching me for a long time and has access to my camera with a threat that all my contacts will get a video where they will see me masturbating unless I pay € 1000. Usually I just throw a mail like that away and don’t bother. Today I allowed myself to feel the abuse and not just step over it and only bin it, but to call the police and report this.

388. I do love that the medicine to all of our ills is to be more loving, in a very real and practical way.

389. We all have the ability to say no but in doing so we pave the way for others to also say no to those acts and situations that others are trying to say are fine ‘just forget it’ – when we speak up it offers that choice for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.

390. Very strong and absolute blog about what abuse is – anything that is not love. It calls us to leave no wriggle room in that, or space to let things slide.

391. Anything that is not love is abuse – our body knows this to be true. What you say about your words becoming an evidence for the next person who might report the same – that is so important to remember. We may think ‘what’s the point?’ but really, every expression counts, and especially the one that stands for truth, that should never be withheld.

392. Inspiring to feel your commitment to rooting out abuse in any form. Thank you for refusing to turn a blind eye.

393. I have been looking into how I care for myself (or not) recently and have asked that question as well: What keeps these abusive patterns in circulation in my life? Abuse occurs only when disconnected from myself. So the answer is to connect more. This was been my experience in the past when there was major abuse happening. And now just because I don’t match the extremes in life around me doesn’t give me a free pass to sit back and stop connecting.

     1. I absolutely agree Leigh, that when we are connected to ourselves, conscious of everything we are doing and feeling, it is impossible to inflict any abuse on ourselves. So, it follows, that the only way we can abuse the body, that is actually our best friend, is to be totally disconnected from it. We wouldn’t want to be disconnected from, or abuse, our best friend so why do the same to our body?

394. Your blog is a powerful one Anon with a powerful message. ‘But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms… I had to say no to abusing myself.’ We often accept abuse in so many subtle ways that we don’t even see it as abuse, from the critical inner voice, not speaking up to people pleasing. If we can stop the subtle abuse, we have a greater chance of stopping the more severe and aggressive forms of abuse that exist.

     1. This is a brilliant part you highlighted Rachel. This is why self-love is such an important tool for life because if we are embracing love, there is no room for self-abuse and therefore we will no longer tolerate or accept abuse be it with ourselves or with others and with what is going on around us.

395. Such a powerful message is presented here from a living understading of abuse from which we can all learn. It is really up to us how much abuse is in the world from how we live in our own lives toward ourselves and in what we accept from others or between others. Make the changes in our lives and thenstand up and be counted.

     1. Beautiful Michael, imagine the ripple effect if every human being understood this. But, as you say, it only takes one person to stand up and reflect another way that offers others so much.

396. I was caught up in a abusive situation I didn’t know what to do so went to see the police they were incredibly supportive, I didn’t expect them to be but they were extremely caring, very understanding and were a huge help in getting through the ordeal. And as you say Anon there is a police file and if those people ever do such a thing again they will be arrested. It is so important to stand up and say this is not acceptable it is abuse. And there is so much more to unpack as you say all the way down to the small ways we abuse ourselves on a daily basis.

397. I have found it is only by changing the way I am with myself that seems to have changed the way I am with other people. The less abusive I am the less abusive I am towards others. So I feel it does start with ourselves first, if we wait for others to change their behaviour first we will be waiting a very long time.

398. “Until we all take responsibility for loving ourselves deeply, which naturally leads to our truly loving and not harming another, there will always be abuse in this world.” This just shows the responsibility we have to each other.

399. It’s great to see the extent of abuse that goes on, the more we open up to it the more it is everywhere a stench of abuse, irresponsibility and corruption from relationships to business, it shows just how far we need to go to change this.

400. It is an eye opener when we admit how much we abuse ourselves and it is only when we start to say no to abuse in our lives that the abuse that is all around us starts to stand out for what it is. We don’t want to use the word abuse as it’s seen as too strong but anything that is less than love is abuse.

     1. Yes it has been there all along but we have chosen to blind ourselves through our own complacency. Abuse in any form needs to be exposed and challenged.

401. ‘let’s face it, the world is very loveless…’ and when we do get honest about this and fully taken on this reality, it becomes simple, clear and essential that we call the changes – in the way we live, interact and expose abuse of every kind. Thank you, Anon, for your writing and standard setting.

     1. We set the standards and only when we are willing to raise the bar are we bringing a difference to the current world trend. Thank you Anon for expressing the choices you made to get this ball rolling.

402. Understanding and appreciating that abuse is far more than just overt physical and verbal abuse and instead is also any unloving act and thought we make towards ourselves and others is equally abusive, and perhaps more harmful at a deeper and long-term level because of its subtle and insidious nature, is a true foundation that can lead to the cessation of abuse.

403. We set-align to standards regarding people, life, etc. We function within the parameters we have said yes to. So, if anything falls within these parameters, we judge it in a way that is different compared to when something falls outside the parameters. So, the crucial thing is the bars that we set up or say yes to. As humans, we are very much influenced by the legal system that defines legal offenses in specific ways, leaving in most cases incredible amounts of things that are not considered offensive. Depending where you come from, what the legal system may offer may feel glorious. Yet, the more aware we become, we realize that it is simply not enough. The bars of what is an offense are set way too high, leaving countless things to just flourish.

404. “But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself” – quite, agree since we found first everything that then later occurs to us.

405. Anon, you are absolutely absolute in your absoluteness, which, when talking about refusing to turn a blind eye to abuse is absolutely what’s needed.

406. If we don’t pay attention to the changing shape of the small mole on our skin it will become a cancer and it is the same with when we ignore the little incidences of abuse that grow into a cancer that affects the whole body of humanity.

     1. Well said Mary, this is why we have all the sexual abuse within the Catholic church because many turned a blind eye to avoid a scandal.

        1. Yes and now the abuse has been called out and uncovered it is exposing many other pockets of abuse that can no longer be suppressed.

407. “As a child growing up, we would never dream or say this is the kind of life or relationships I want, or how I want the world to be. So, what makes us settle for less… ” This is a great question Anon. As you mention, we have normalised abuse and have come to accept a ‘lesser’ form of abuse as better than for example being hit physically. But as we know from social media words can hurt and do a lot of damage. It is up to us – what do we choose to accept in our lives?

408. I have also abused myself in many ways, I think I can tick all the things on your list as well for me and I am really only learning to call out abuse as it happens, too many of us take the I don’t want to get involved attitude, but unless we all start standing up to all types of abuse it will just carry on until we do.

409. “As a child growing up, we would never dream or say this is the kind of life or relationships I want, or how I want the world to be. So, what makes us settle for less… what makes us accept, choose and allow abuse in our lives?” I was triggered by this question in reading this blog today, what makes us accept, choose and allow abuse in our lives? And when I felt into this question it came to me that there is so much abuse even to very subtle levels I tend to accept as being normal and in the same time I do feel that my body is at unease. The unease of being the victim of the abuse I do allow in my life but have accepted as the unavailable in life, the idea that we cannot do life without getting hurt. Is that then the belief I once have fallen for, the belief that life is unavoidable harmful and makes us end rigid, stiff and with a dose of ailments when we get older. And while I am still with a level of abuse because of me once have chosen to enjoy this belief, that there is no ounce of truth in this as I know many people, the students of the Way of The Livingness, that show us that this is not needed, that there is another life in which the abuse simply does not exist and this is clearly reflected in the well being of those people and in the way they get older.

410. “Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.” So, as you ask, why do we accept the ‘everyday’ abuse that we may not even have recognised as abuse. As we take more responsibility for ourselves and our lives we become more aware of the subtleties of abuse in certain situations.

411. It is crazy that we live in a world where we allow so much abuse and on so many levels. Very close to where I live there is a housing estate where recently there have been shootings resulting in two deaths and everyone around the area knows it is to do with gangs and drugs but the police are not doing anything to stop it. How long will this sort of thing, which happens all the time all over the world be able to carry on until we all see it for the abuse it is and stand up together with the police and stop it from occurring?

412. How many of us can truthfully say we have also lived the same as you described the way you have abused yourself. We live life like pachinko balls, being hard and bouncing off of everyone. When if fact we are raindrops that are all part of a cycle and what affects one affects us all.

413. The first step to standing up to abuse is to stop abusing ourselves by fully understanding that any less than love is abuse and then applying this to all we see.

     1. We all have an inbuilt marker – innately and absolutely, so it is an active choice to ignore it.

        1. Yes, that in-built marker of Love is our Soul… Having greater access the Soul begins with Self-love … and self-love filters out and raises awareness of abuse.

414. We so often associate calling out abuse with anger, reaction and violence, when in truth saying it for what it is, is the kindest, sweetest most loving thing you can do. Perhaps the anger that comes is because we haven’t accepted that abuse should exist?

415. Wow this is a powerful sharing covering all the many forms, those subtle and not so subtle forms of abuse. But what stands out the most is the saying no and stopping all the ways we abuse ourselves, for only then can we stand up and call out abuse from others.

416. The moment we clock abuse we have a choice to accept the love that we are or to turn our back on this and all that supports it.

417. ‘There is no middle ground for abuse….’ We know love and no mater how we choose to live each day, when something comes up or happens that is not love it is deeply felt. The question is: ‘Are we willing to choose honesty in this moment or not?

418. Thank you Anon, by only categorising extremes as abuse we allow ourselves to not be honest about the other end of the scale – the less obvious but still abusive choices we make everyday, which can then becomes a standard of a ‘good’ life when compared to extremes, but we are still living loveless lives. I agree with your wisdom here “Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.”, great words to live by as expose the more subtle forms of abuse.

419. In connection with our true self, no one is able to hurt another, we are innately love at heart. However, we have free will, giving us the freedom to choose to live in a way that may not resemble the love that we are, rather one that provides us with comfort, recognition, wealth, status. Whilst we may not mean to hurt another, the truth is, we are responsible for all the choices that we make and in turn the effect that those choices have on those around us, if we are not treating everyone with love, equally so, we are being abusive. Just typing these words I am beginning to appreciate how endemic abuse is in our society and how complacent we have become about it’s existence.

     1. The lovelessness in the world that is written about in this article is the reality check we need. It is only in the absence of love that abuse has any standing, so our responsibility is very clear – to explore, connect to, expand on, develop and deepen our relationship with love.

420. Thank you Anon, a very powerful blog which shares so clearly and simply how we have all allowed abuse to run rampant through our lives. Just as we have chosen to allow it in, we can also choose to shut it out. Thank you for the stand you have taken, paving the way for us all to deeply consider where pockets of abuse may lie in our own lives. I can already nominate quite a few and they all start with me first.

421. The list of disregarding things we do to ourselves is one I am sure many will recognise, I certainly do and am squirming in my seat. We all know this stuff, so why do we override it? we were brought up to not be selfish but no-one explained the importance of self love, self care and self nurturing. And as for the abusive thoughts we have about ourselves, they are seen as normal, but we are indeed hurting ourselves in the process.

     1. As you say Carmel few of us were brought up to understand the importance of loving ourselves and indeed women especially are taught to put everyone else first and ‘put up’ with certain behaviours. I never wanted to ‘rock the boat’ until my self esteem grew and was no longer accepting the more subtle levels of abuse from others. It all starts with the way we treat our selves and our own bodies.

422. Abuse starts with the ‘small’ things and only when we don’t address it, when we don’t call it for the abuse that it is, does it grow and grow into what we see today in the world: family violence, beheadings, torture, rape, slavery … and the list goes on. We normalise one level of abuse and immediately, the bar gets shifted and we kid ourselves that some abuse is not abuse.

     1. This is so true Gabriele and so it follows that the level of de-sensitisation increases

     2. Indeed, the bar is shifted continuously and we get blind for what we called abuse in the past because there is a new form of abuse lives from which we say that it is abhorrent. And in doing so we dig ourselves deeper in the pit of abuse which makes it every time more difficult to see what it is because we are in it and not able to observe it from a distance.

     3. Well said Gabriele for it is by caring for the ‘small’ things that the ‘big’ things do not occur, as they only arise because the ‘small’ ones have become magnified.

     4. Very true, everything starts small, with the first step away from the truth we know, and when not addressed and corrected we take another step away from the truth, which makes it already two steps away from the truth, and so on.

423. “Abuse – turning a blind eye no more”… We do turn away, ignore and deny what is going on in the way of abuse in the world when the extremes aren’t happening in our own backyard – and yet it is the numerous small abuses within our own lives that add up to the many worldwide extreme cases.

424. What is presented here is phenomenally important – to understand that the very accepted and therefore normalised interactions are in fact abusive. Take for example these three very simple aspects to most relationships, whether that’s friend, colleague, stranger or partner: ‘lack of understanding, judging people or needing them to be a certain way’. How common these are and yet how disrespectful and abusive when we consider the delicate and deeply sensitive nature we all are at heart.

425. “This was about truth, and not allowing a behaviour that is not loving to come through anyone.” Allowing unloving behaviour – within ourselves or another – is abuse, plain and simple.

426. It is a real wake up call to see and feel the extent of abuse in the world and be honest about the amount of abuse we continue to allow in our own lives.

427. Abuse has been normalised, hence why the extreme abuse in the world is getting even more extreme. There will be tension in our body when abuse is not being addressed in the world. We can feel it and it affects us, even if we are not directly affected physically, energetically if one person abuse another this affects the rest of humanity.

428. “But before I was able to stand up and say no to abuse in its many ways, shapes and forms, not just the above, I had to say no to abusing myself.” How one expresses in the world is a reflection of one’s relationship oneself.

429. I think articles like this are well needed. To have a frank honest conversation around what is abuse and how do we let it play out in our lives.

430. There are many layers of abuse and what we will and will not accept. I agree it does come down to what we accept in life. Our understanding of what love is affects this too. There are all the pictures of what love is that blurs the line between love and abuse because we have turned love into something that is emotional, which it isn’t.

431. The quality we live within us will determine the quality of our outer environment. As much as we may well want to, we cannot separate the two. This means that if we are harsh, disregarding and disrespectful of ourselves, then this will be the quality we offer to others, no matter our good intentions or behaviours in place to mask it. This is not to make anyone ‘bad’ but simply to say that there is deeper we can go within ourselves, connecting to all the love that we are and honouring this, so that this quality informs our naturally lived way with all others.

432. Anybody can be a game changer, purely through their behaviour and it doesn’t need or even should be a crusade or campaign.

433. Einstein’s words are so significant: “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” The fact is our complacency is not just doing nothing, it is magnifying the foundation of a lack of care or responsibility which creates the space within which the abuse can take shape and proliferate. We are actually abetting the abuse with our silence!

434. There are forms of abuse that we can simply stop or not allow any more like shouting, reacting and then running with that reaction and there are forms of abuse like the ones described in the blog where action needs to be taken. This action may or may not meet with indifference or other priorities but that is the choice of others and they both have the right to make those choices and deal with the consequences of their choices.

435. I agree, every little moment matters. We have settled for not addressing abuse for what it is and dismiss it as minor, not so important, not so severe or ‘they didn’t mean to’. But what we need to understand is with not calling out our own behaviour and that of others for what they truly are we accept them more and more as normal and do not register abuse as abuse anymore.

     1. That’s what I love and appreciate so much in this blog – the reminder that abuse is very binary – if something is not love, it’s abuse. Whilst I know this to be true, I can feel how I’ve not been living in a way that shows I know this truth, I’ve had a level of acceptance for the grey areas where people may not have meant to hurt others, but they have because of their loveless actions, which brings me back to my self and I can fully appreciate how I do not always treat my self with absolute love – hence my acceptance of a certain level of abuse. Great pull up to be more aware and allowing of a deeper surrender to the love that I am, without judgment.

436. ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.’ I love this. I’m feeling the consequences of my unloving choices and the greatest pain is feeling the abuse I inflicted on myself.

437. Abuse needs to be hated enough so we are not accepting of even the tinniest amount for any abusive ways we allow is simply less than Love, so our deepening level of Loving ways will allow the hate of any-thing-abusive.

438. ‘For me, reporting these instances was not only about saying no to the energy of abuse for myself and my body, but this choice was for everyone to be able to say no to abuse.’ When we turn a blind eye to abuse we do nothing to support others to speak up and we end up with a culture that would rather bury the shame than confront it.

439. After having experienced being held in true love, without any imposition of needs, expectations, judgements or ideals, but just love, my body has a new marker for abuse. Everything that doesn’t match that experienced feeling in my body is abuse. And boy oh boy it is literally everywhere and in situations that would be ‘normal’ for me before.

     1. Spot on, Monika. Once one experiences that depth of love one’s awareness and relationship with the world completely changes as all one’s senses are heightened a hundredfold.

     2. Once we know what it is to be truly held and loved and then hold ourselves in that manner first and foremost, everything else stands out for the violation and abuse it is.

440. ‘I reported this to the police, and in turn through the amazing work of the police and myself in standing up and saying no to abuse, this person was arrested and charged with a sexual offence.’ This is a fantastic result. Thank heavens the police are now taking abuse online as a real issue and dealing with it.

     1. The real evil here is in thinking if we say something, nothing will be done about it due to this being our currently established norm. And while this may be the case some if not most of the time, it is certainly not the case all of the time and even if it were, it is still not reason to stay silent because it is only by speaking up about acts void of love that we can and will gradually shift the scale of abuse versus love until one day we will be able to stand together as a global society with an agreed upon standard of decency among us we will not fall below. Every human in the world is deserved of this love and care and there is much work to be done on behalf of us all in order to achieve this very basic human right – the right to be all the love that we are and not live the lack of this love (abuse) in its place.

441. I have done a lot of research recently into the state of human health and the state of our environment and the trends are not in anyway positive. It is clear our quality of living is declining at a rapid rate and because of our comfortable ignorance we continue to passively ignore and carry on living our “more important” busy lives. The fact is is that to be in this comfort we have to be numbed to it and the only way to do that is to abuse ourselves and those around us in anyway we can.

442. Even though not all abusers get arrested or sentenced it is the act of not accepting abuse that is registered on an energetic level that counts always. whatever the response is.

     1. This is true Lieke, it is first and foremost about stading up and speaking out, saying no to what has happened and not holding back in uor expression of this. And at the same time this will make a change for if every woman in that dress shop reports the tailor to the police his behavior cannot stay hidden for long.

        1. The above is a great reminder of our responsibility and that each of our choices have an effect..whether we see it or not. We can make the choice to not say nothing, withdraw a little and be more protective from there on, affecting the world around us and allowing the tailor to keep doing what he does affecting who knows how many other women in the same way, or we can choose to speak up and say no, allowing us to honor ourselves, be empowered and start a change that may lead to this man either stopping or being caught out.

443. How awesome that you are able to say no to abuse, starting with things that many might not even register as abuse. A few years ago I would not have seen belittling others or myself as abuse – but there is the issue – the fact that we coin abuse as extreme behaviours when they in truth start with the smaller things.

444. Serge Benhayon has supported me to understand that I have been settling for abuse in my life because I was comparing it what I saw around me.
     He helped me see that because of all the horrible things that are happening in the world, I felt that what I had is fine, compared to it.
     That type of rationalizing has allowed the human race to spiral down in our acceptance of what abuse is.
     It is critical to have a marker, that does not change as to what is abuse.
     That is what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is presenting.
     Do not allow anything but love!

445. When we use the word “abuse’ it is often shunned as being too hard or severe but how often do we stop to feel the impact that it truly has on the body when we are experiencing this first hand.

     1. When I eat foods which leave me feeling dreadful, I occassionally lie with my hands on my stomach and feel the consequences of my choices and when I do there is no doubting the abuse I have put my body through, harsh sounding or not abuse is abuse.

446. We have normalised abuse to not feel what we are actually choosing in our daily lives so we don’t have to take responsibility for the unloving choices we make.

     1. I agree with you Annelies. And next to the normalization to not feel this loveless feeling, we have to numb or distract ourselves in so many different ways to survive in life.

     2. So true Annelies, being aware of what is abuse and what is not certainly calls us to take more responsibility for our abusive choices and behaviour. I have heard of the saying, ‘ignorant is bliss’ this to me simply means an excuse to avoid responsibility. So, I feel being aware of what is abuse is very important and this blog very beautifully and clearly explains it.

447. We cannot complain or be outraged by the abuse we see in the world today when we have abuse in our own lives… because we are contributing to the pool of worldwide abuse.

     1. And in this realisation we have the awareness to make true choices… to perpetuate the ‘pool of worldwide abuse’ or to set a standard that says ‘no way… absolutely no to abuse’ and re-build a foundation of love.

448. “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” This quote by Einstein is very true… expression is so important to expose the lies and to bring truth, understanding and responsibility to our lives.

449. Awesome that you reported the tailor Anon – someone who clearly thinks they can get away with something but is now on the police radar. It is totally worth reporting these incidents because if there are any more reports yours is on record to support another.

450. A great exposé of all the levels of abuse we accept in society… from the extreme to the most subtle – all are abuse no matter how we try to deny or ignore them.

     1. And I love how this blog makes it so clear that anything that is not love is simply abuse. It inspires us to look at how we allow abuse into our lives on a daily basis.

451. When we look at the trajectory the world is on, everything has to be back on the table for consideration.

452. When we look at it like this ‘Abuse is anything that is not love. Simple.’ it can be clearly felt we have a lot of standards (that seem currently seem to be scraping the floor) to raise. Along with that and the quote from Einstein “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” there is a lot of work to do. Seeing how we abuse ourselves, even in the smallest way and calling out abuse we see and are aware of in the world in very important.

453. Anon, an awesome unpacking of abuse in its minutest detail – you have highlighted that there is always more to expose when we choose to step back onto the Path of Return to Love.

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