Since I was 17 years old, I couldn’t get out of bed without a coffee in my hand and I completely identified with drinking coffee all day every day. I loved it and I couldn’t imagine living without it! I had the belief that I could never give it up or I would get withdrawal symptoms (which I wasn’t at that time prepared to feel). I went straight from the coffee shop to a session with Serge Benhayon when I was 30 years old. We got talking about coffee and he asked me how I have it – milk or sugar? I told him black and strong and that I have always loved the smell and the taste of coffee. Serge then asked me why I needed the coffee? I didn’t respond but this question stayed with me for a long time. I knew when I was asked that I was run down and exhausted – it didn’t take a genius to work that out – but nobody had ever asked me to be honest before about why I was needing the coffee. They were far more likely to ask me if I wanted to go and have another coffee – or let’s meet at the coffee shop. Never “Why are you having the coffee?” or “Why do you need it?”, “Could it be helping you to get through the day?”, “Are you tired?”, “Are you using it to stay awake?”.
I began to slowly address the way I was living that resulted in me feeling so tired and needing the coffee to keep functioning. As I looked at things such as my diet, how hard I worked, how late I was staying up, the dramas I was involved in with friends, how drained I felt from my responsibilities as a parent, how far I was pushing my body during exercise and all the late night drinking to take the edge off my day, I began to understand my reliance on the coffee and how I was using it to prop me up and keep going. When I was honest, my body wasn’t feeling so great after I drank it and I would feel racy. I wondered what would happen if I stopped drinking it? Would I fall into an exhausted pile?
I gradually began adjusting the way that I lived and discovered that I didn’t need to have the coffee anymore – it was my own natural process.
I still enjoy the smell of fresh coffee being made but I no longer need it to get through the day.
by Deborah
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
It is a very good question, why coffee was needed. But we could also ask that question to every thing we indulge in. Whether it be something we consume, watch TV shows, play games and so forth. As much as they are different in one respect, they are also doing the same thing. It’s to prop us up whether it’s from exhaustion or to distract us from ourselves.
It’s only when we explore and expose these vices, that we realise that it’s like that hamster going round and round in its wheel until it says no more.
We all have that choice to question why we do the things that we do. And it is from the honesty that we realise our bodies have been communicating to us for a very long time. Is it time to listen?
I tried coffee in my early 20’s. Something in me knew that it would not suit my body – I had had no previous interest in trying it out, but then one day at work the boss was raving about his new coffee machine and convinced me to try an expresso. I drank the expresso, thought it was OK, and did not think much more about it. I went back to my allocated work but had some trouble doing it. I felt so scattered. I could hardly focus on one thing before I was moving onto the next thing. I felt like I had ants in my pants. I could not wait to get out of work. I headed off early as I could not focus, and went home. The agitated feeling continued for 48 hours and I could not sleep at night at all for 3-4 nights. It was agony. I did not relate this experience to the coffee. Next time I went to work, my boss offered me an expresso again and I said yes to accompany him. The same thing happened and this time I knew it was the coffee! It was agony again for 2-3 days. Finally it wore off. I never had another coffee again.
I used to drink coffee, I always “loved” the first one and subsequent ones tasted yuck. But it’s not only the coffee itself, it’s the social norm of meeting for coffee. What about meeting for a cup of herbal tea or a glass of water. Now that wound’t go down well would it?
For me the addiction used to be ‘I can’t live without chocolate’ – essentially the same thing…Why did I need the chocolate? I was using it to keep racy and not feel, and also as an energy boost when I felt tired. I have long ago ditched the chocolate addiction, but as I clear one addiction I discover more that I have, and some of them can be very subtle ones to catch – such as an addiction to anxiety or overwhelm or wanting to think that things are hard or difficult.
Amazing sharing Deborah! It is super powerful when we no longer feel like we need a substance to get us through the day…thank you!
“When I was honest, my body wasn’t feeling so great after I drank it and I would feel racy.” Thank you Deborah for being so honest. For me honesty is the first step to be more aware of what is really going on in my body.
It is always great to ask ourselves why we need a certain something in our lives, to reflect on this, and then be completely honest about the reason for this, and so we bring in more awareness.
We do know coffee stimulates us, I remember using it to keep me awake at night to study and to be alert for exams in the mornings. It’s so commonplace we don’t question why it’s there as everyone is drinking coffee now, and because we don’t question it, we don’t question why we need it and miss the opportunity to change our lives to support our vitality and wellbeing.
If we are not born with a coffee in our hand and then get to the point where we can’t imagine living without it, then it is definitely worth looking into this further.
I love how starting with one simple question can lead us to look at our life as a whole. No one choice is isolated from other part of our life and with no judgment we can bring more honesty in.
This questioning can be applied to everything we eat, drink, do or are involved in. Why do we do what we do? What is the energy driving us to do so? Having this curiosity and honesty with ourselves can help explain so many of our unwanted or non-preferred behaviours.
It is not hard to say, I need the coffee because I am exhausted. Yet, the next bit is hard, namely to say, why is that I am exhausted. So, grabbing a coffee in automatic pilot is an easier choice.
Once upon a time I was addicted to coffee and like you Deborah I thought I needed it too. I always loved the first morning coffee of the day the others didn’t taste the same so didn’t need one every few hours.
I pondered on everything and I didn’t stop drinking coffee, my body just didn’t want it anymore. I don’t miss the drink but I somehow still like the smell of it every now and then.
I am now living without coffee and I am still ok without it, I’m finding my body is refining even further and I’m observing more of it what it like or does not like, without perfection, but loving the discoveries and relationship I’m developing with my body.
It is a beautiful process to be asked a question which you later feel into for yourself; letting go of coffee made me change how I was living in order not to feel so exhausted, and one change led on to another more loving choice.
Questions that require absolute honesty to answer are a great start for a journey back to ourselves.
I too once said that I couldn’t live without coffee. It just made the day easier. But what a farce that was. I remember when my son was little and I was playing with cutting down on coffee. He got upset one morning when I said I was going to have a coffee. I asked why and he said because then I’d be grumpy in the afternoon. It was true. I needed a coffee in the morning to get me going and coffee in the afternoon to keep me going. This is bizarre. As a young woman why was I reliant on something else for energy? It’s so accepted that it’s not really questioned in society.
The other thing that stands out in this article is how a change in lifestyle choices brings about a change in how one consumes coffee.
It’s a change in how we relate to ourselves too, as by being honest about our choices we can open up to being more caring of ourselves.
Such questions like “why do you need coffee?” are so simple, but as is shared here are not often asked. Could this be because many have not considered the questions for themselves and don’t feel any need to do so as there has been no connection to the tiredness felt, the boost coffee brings and that possibly the way that life is lived is behind the tiredness?
Sometimes when I walk through the airport or the shopping centre, I stop to feel those typical smells that suround those spaces. One of them is the coffee smell. If I go beyond the initial ‘good smell’, I can feel there is something really involving and attaching that somehow says ‘stay here, I will comfortably numb your body with this strength that will help you to cope with the day’. Its offering seems real, but it’s clearly one of those alluring feelings that have the ability to disconnect us from our body awareness.
There are certain smells and sights and other senses that do feel like they are grabbing a hold on you. But without a level of sensitivity to this grabbing one may just say “I really like that” when actually it’s an energy that is attractive to a part of us and not the whole of us. If it was truly ‘liked’ by the whole of us why is there a feeling of exhaustion or drained or spaced out after coffee, sugar, screens etc.
Super blog and applies to many things in our lives; I can’t live without coffee, sugar, bread, ice-cream, TV, my yoga, the gym, my self-help books, and the list goes on…which all fall under the same umbrella of numbing and distracting ourselves not to feel….that we are empty inside.
What we may actually be saying is “I can’t live without my true self” and all those things help fill the emptiness and temporarily distract away from how we truly feel.
If coffee stimulates us to prop us up so we don’t feel our exhaustion then I am guessing that other foods we crave also must have their own flavour of either propping us up or camouflaging what we are feeling.
Great point Suse – this would be an interesting area to investigate…
Before coming to Universal Medicine, I never liked those ‘Why’ questions. It never felt like it was asking for a reason, it felt like I was being told not to do whatever I was doing, and being judged for doing what I was doing. I needed much humbleness and honesty to even hear those questions for what they were. And also it was so easy to come up with excuses and put a blame on things/people as what was making me do things. It still is an ongoing process for me.
Coffee and what a growing industry. Someone said to me in a conversation that look back 20 years and you wouldn’t dream of going out for a coffee everyday and yet here we have now coffee shops outgrowing all other shops in towns. Not only that but the huge growth in coffee machines at homes and in work places, coupled with drive through coffees and mobile coffees and the list goes on. You don’t have to walk to far these days to get a coffee and even though I don’t drink it I am seeing it everywhere. I am not saying people should give it up in fact enjoy your coffee but I will ask why are we seeing such a continued growth of this bitter tasting drink? Is it the taste, the flavour etc or is it what it does for us? This is not to be critical of those that do or don’t drink coffee but just a question to see if everyone sees what I do, coffee continuing to pop up everywhere.
There are even mobile coffee shops that drive around to all the businesses, coffee is literally on tap. It’s definitely more than a fad, people need it to function.
It is indeed interesting to see how much we can convince ourselves about something that we know is not good for us.. I too loved coffee but was completely unwilling to admit all the symptoms that came with it, the shakes, the coldness on the inside, the wiredness on edge, the feeling ill – crazy really, but an important thing to consider is what are we trying to escape feeling and what other behaviours are we being equally wilful and stubborn about not seeing or admitting.
I thought that I loved coffee also until over 20 years ago, when I decided that I wanted to try to live without any caffeine. I was a two coffee a day drinker but also drank copious cups of tea at that time. The withdrawal symptoms lasted for a week! I could not believe the scale of the negative impact caffeine had had on my body to create such symptoms. I can recall clasping my knees to my chest and rocking and sweating unable to sleep for nights as the caffeine left my system . . . all the time suffering with the headache from hell. Needless to say I never touched anything with the slightest trace of caffeine in it again as I now consider it a deadly drug. P.S.Chocolate and cacao, now touted as a super food, both contain caffeine!
When we are honest about why we actually need something, it helps us to understand the attraction which in turn supports us to work through its hold over us and let it go.
Great blog Deborah. I’m off coffee (again) but I’m very aware that my pattern of turning to food and drink to prop me up is still there (especially fruit and herbal tea). You remind me that the best way to start to tackle this reliance is to get honest about what is causing the craving in the first place and then addressing the root cause.
I can’t live without sugar would be my title….. truth was I became so dependent on sugar as my feel good drug and I used sugar as a way to sweeten my life…… what changed? I made different choices and started to self care and self nurture, and many things changed in my life, including going sugar free and no longer needing my dairy free soya coffee latte!
It is a great question to ask someone who drinks coffee, ‘ why I needed the coffee?’ It is then a choice for the person to feel what it is giving them and be honest about that.
Imagine what would happen if the world stopped drinking coffee and eating sugar to get through the day?
Imagine!! I am sure many would think it would be a catastrophe – but I cannot but wonder what would come up for people without the raciness of sugar and stimulation of coffee to camouflage what they are truly feeling.
It would be really interesting to observe, especially in the initial stages.
Serge Benhayon asks the questions that our body is already asking but we haven’t stopped to listen.
Exactly Mary and once we do listen to the body, so many choices open up for us that were not perhaps visible before…..
It’s amazing what we feel when we get absolutely honest with ourselves. No longer can we pretend we don’t feel the effect our choices have in our bodies.
I like how you point out that nobody ever asked why you drank coffee. This is with so many things in life as we take them as normal and label them with lifestyle. But whether they do us truly good or not we do not question.
Thank You Deborah – I loved reading about your session with Serge. I just started drinking coffee again after living coffee free for 4 years and it has been extremely confronting as I knew that I was exhausted and I felt as though coffee was the only thing that could help me. What it actually did was allow me to push my body past the point of exhaustion and I now have a glut of exhaustion to clean up. ‘Quick fixes’ don’t work, they only delay the inevitable and make things worse.
I never really was a coffee drinker, but I used tea in the same way. My day had to start with a cup of tea or Chai as we would say it. Without a chai, with spices and milk, my day did not begin. It was doing the same for me feeding the exhaustion and tiredness in my body.
When we are honest why we do something it can be easier to see how it undermines us and let it go.
One thing I have embraced from Serge Benhayon is the depth of his questions meeting you where you are at with the utmost of integrity and respect, from a place of love knowing you are that too, so their is an opportunity to be honest than we would normally be.
Honesty is the hardest bit, even opening up to the potential that we may actually ‘need’ rather than ‘want’ our drug of choice. For some it is coffee, for others sugar, wine, cigarettes. same same. A need rather than a want and it is only when we understand why we need that we start to not want 🙂
There are a number of things I used to eat and drink that I have let go of over the past few years. On reflection, I used to believe I needed such things to feel energised and to get through the day but today I can honestly say the opposite is true. Living without alcohol, sugar, caffeine and an excess of food has given me more energy, allowed me to feel lighter and with it I have lost 2-3 stone in weight. It is clear to me that the things I believed about needing such things for energy were not true and that when we tune into and listen to the wisdom of our bodies, we access energy in abundance.
It is beautiful that without needing to detox or suffer withdrawal symptoms as many do, you were able to let go of what was propping you up through simply addressing and adjusting those things in your life that were not supporting you. This is how to naturally let go of what in truth we only tell ourselves we need…and do so without any cravings.
If more people would allow themselves to feel their bodies more deeply – I am sure the coffee consumption would be less.
Simply nominating what the true cause is behind our addictions and needs works miracles as it raises our awareness and makes us realize that we have a choice and then we can practice making a different choice which will eventually lead to us being able to let go of what for so long had a hold on us.
Coffee has become one of those items we consume where we don’t even question why we consume it in ever increasing quantities. So much so that we don’t even consider that our consumption could be harmful, by masking the effects of how we are living. Being honest with ourselves in terms of why we need something is the first step to making true change.
Most people I know who talk about coffee say that they “need” it and are too frightened to try to get through the day without it. Many people have also communicated to me that they especially “love” the morning coffee because it’s the stimulant that allows them to function, and without it, it’s too daunting to face a day. I also used to need help waking up either with strong black tea, or many years ago I drank coffee but gave it up as it caused digestive pain, but I have such a better experience now of mornings because of the self care I live with each day and honouring when my body wants to sleep. I’m so glad I found Universal Medicine and their presentations on self care as it’s had a very positive effect on my health and wellbeing.
An honest personal appraisal that reflects the insidious way coffee has penetrated our lives, woven itself into our social scene and daily rhythms – and with such ubiquity that it’s no longer seen as the stimulant it is, because it’s become so normal, so commonplace, so unchallenged.
Absolutely Cathy. We need to be cautious and aware that it is in fact a potent stimulant and be wary about using anything to encourage our nervous system to keep going when we’re exhausted. Our body can be sending us a message to rest and we override this with dire consequences one of which can be adrenal exhaustion, which can take months or years to recover from. There’s nothing normal about stimulating the nervous system.
I love the smell of coffee but I never felt it tasted as good as it smelt. I drank it and made it for years but found at different stages of my life I would just stop having it. The affects of caffeine on my system was always an issue as I really didn’t like the racy, panicky feeling that came with too many cups or the terrible headache that came when I didn’t get enough. So I had to look at the fact that coffee affected me like a drug and perhaps that need was something to look at.
I gave up coffee when my body said ‘yuk’. I knew I was pregnant on each occasion within a couple of days as I couldn’t stand the smell of coffee. I remember thinking that if my body couldn’t tolerate coffee while I was nurturing a developing child what was it doing to my body when I wasn’t pregnant.
A great expose on coffee and the real reasons behind why people drink it.
I never liked coffee. I drank it a bit at work, when visiting clients, to not stand out or be ‘a trouble’ because I preferred herbal tea. I love the question Serge asked: why do you need coffee? I used a different substance to keep me going: sugar. And the same question is relevant here as for all the others devices we use to numb ourselves from feeling what is actually going on in our bodies and to cope with life.
I remember in the past when whoever was first in the office, it was their job to get the coffee percolator on, and as soon as it was ready we would all sit and have a coffee before we started work. It was what everyone felt they needed to start the working day, the percolator would be on all day for copious amounts of refills. Eventually I gave up drinking coffee because when I was honest with myself about it, I didn’t even like the taste, and my body was already giving me strong messages that it didn’t want it either.
No one can show the way out of a mess, if they too are in that mess.
i.e. a drug addict can’t council a drug rehab group.
Thank God we have people like Serge Benhayon who have the love and care to actually show another way.
Breaking old habits sometimes seem impossible until we ask ‘why’,why indeed. Once you understood the reason for your addiction it was easy to let go of it. So the more I ask myself why am I doing this or reacting to this, the more I can let go.
Thank you, Deborah. Those simple ‘why’ questions can be a real life changer. I remember having a session with my esoteric practitioner after not having seen her for a few years, and I was sharing with her what I had been up to during that time – she kept asking me why I had made certain choices. I felt annoyed because those questions were really pulling the carpet under me upon which I had built what I declared to be an OK life, and could expose the painful truth I was not willing to feel. But all I was being asked to do was just to take a moment to stop and be honest for a moment. I now have learnt to ask those questions myself, and it’s such a loving thing to do.
Serge Benhayon has an amazing ability to ask the right questions at the appropriate time, which allows for deep consideration to occur.
Very true Joe, Serge Benhayon asks the questions that no one has asked you before, showing his deep consideration for you and all.
It’s so true what you write Deborah, how often are we asked why we need a food, a drink or to consider why we choose the things we do. Taking the time to ponder this question, I can feel you were able to stop and begin to feel for yourself. I too am taking the time, in my time, to feel what is true for me, delving deeper and considering the impact of the choices I make. It is only since my involvement with Universal Medicine that I was presented with the true responsibility we all have in feeling and choosing for ourselves and I am ever grateful for the awareness I am developing.
“it was my own natural process” this to me says it all, and shows the true power that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present, the power of learning to feel for ourselves what serves us and what does not.
Deborah, the way that you gave up coffee, by addressing why you needed it, and then eliminating the need,is the way to go when addressing anything that does not serve us. Address whatever is lacking or out of balance, bring in the balance and then the thing that we are seeking to change will just drop away by itself. Bingo !
Awesome Deborah. I have always liked the smell of coffee and enjoyed the taste too. For me it was a comfort thing too with heaps of sugar and a tonne of milk. Looking at the way I lived I found coffee didn’t have a place anymore as I became way too racey afterwards- even with decaf I would get racey heart beats and feel funny in the tummy.
I can so relate to what you say Deborah. I definitely needed coffee to stimulate and pep me up to help me survive each day under the disguise of me thinking I loved it. It is always confronting to realise that something you think you love comes from a need.
I feel many people rely on coffee to get them through the day. I wasn’t a coffee drinker but I ate loads of sugar, any way I could get it, I would always have a bag of lollies, a frozen drink or something to suck on, not too far away. It was how I fed my high paced life of work, high intensity sport and a pretty active social life. As soon as I started to change the racy and hectic life, as inspired by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon to begin to be more caring and considerate with myself, the sweets just went, I didn’t even see it happening, but one day woke up realising I feel so so much better and didn’t need the sugar hits I used to rely on. It’s not completely gone, but it’s no where near what it used to be.
It’s beautiful to read how a simple question about why you needed coffee was enough to make you reflect on how your body was truly feeling, and how coffee was being used to prop you up and keep you going.
Oh, the relationship with coffee! I started drinking coffee in high school, only instant coffee with milk. Then I discovered the Italian coffee maker and that was a killer since it tasted quite yummy. Then I discovered good coffee. The smell of coffee being grounded in a coffee shop was just beautiful. Then I realised that I preferred the smell of coffee and not the taste of it. I also discovered that I preferred to eat coffee grains and not drink it. That was my way of deciding what coffee to buy. In 1994, I decided to stop drinking coffee. It was no problem whatsoever doing so. What I discovered was how steady and consistent I became during the day. No ups and down. It did not last for too long, my break with it, but that recollection remained with me. I did not drink a cup in the morning after that. A few years down the track I quit altogether. It is long gone now. I do not need it or crave it.
That is interesting emfeldman. Our bodies respond so differently to the same substances. Every coffee detox I’ve ever done has been painful but worth it. I started drinking instant coffee when I was a child (monkey see, monkey do) and I loved the way it took the edge off life. I had trouble sleeping so I felt like coffee was a lifesaver even though I wasn’t officially ‘allowed’ to have coffee as a child I would sneak it and make it myself when I could barely reach the kitchen counter (I remember crawling up on to the bench to make it). It’s amazing how quickly we work out which substances will provide the medication that we need to avoid feeling what we do not want to feel.
What you share Deborah shows how we make devices a normal thing even if in truth we are using them to band aid the effects of how we live our lives. It seems there are lots of things we need to sustain us such as coffee, sugar, alcohol, milk etc… and there seems to be a pretty strong resistance to look at why we have it. Usually we tend to defend it even though we know it’s not really great for us, which I find somewhat strange. Maybe we miss the joy we had when we were younger but we’re not sure of how to get there again so we use lots of things to keep us floating or perhaps numb to the fact that we miss it so much.
I agree Matts, what are we missing that allows us to indulge in any activity that takes us away from that youth-full joy? Then we have the replacements such as decaf, that hold us away from that true inner joy, Serge Benhayon presents. Until we get to the root cause, we will not truly heal what has taken us away from that joy. Thank you Debra.
Thank you Deborah. I loved the image and idea of being a coffee drinker – it was an identity for me – I like my coffee strong and made with a particular coffee pot and drunk in a particular mug. It was a ritual that allowed me to distract myself from ever wondering why I needed this charade in the first place. I have now replaced this ritual with herbal tea I am now realising – it is a work in progress as I let go of the need for distraction and more fully embrace that I am enough.
I was also controlled by my need for coffee. Because I was so exhausted I relished the ‘raciness’ it provided so that I could rush around and get things done, until the effects wore off and I would have to have another. When I finally stopped drinking caffeinated coffee, I had major physical withdrawal symptoms – a week of headaches and nausea. What I gained was the opportunity to be honest, now that I could feel, that I was exhausted and had to look at how I was living my life that left me that way. I needed coffee to combat my exhaustion and to feed my dishonesty and irresponsibility in relation to the way I treated my body and lived my life.
The more we feel into our bodies, the more honest we become.
Isn’t it gorgeous the power of a simple question that makes you stop and get honest about something you normally wouldn’t even consider. I love that. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, they’re some serious withdrawal effects!
I agree pernillahorne. Thank you for sharing your experience Ariana, we need to talk about things like withdrawal effects of coffee.
Deborah thank you sharing your honesty about your relationship with coffee through which you developed a deeper love and a truer relationship with yourself – a beautiful unfolding.
I was thinking about this yesterday – I’d let myself get a bit run down but had things to do as well. So the familiar question comes up of whether I look after myself first or to put the task first, and I know that the traditional response in the world today is to reach for the stimulant (coffee) and keep on going, overriding what the body felt. For me it was simply a case of taking some time out to rest and looking after myself, and then getting back to the tasks at hand. This is coupled with a look at how I am living, and how did I get myself so run down in the first place… all opportunities to learn and refine going forwards.
Wow thanks Deborah for sharing how one simple question encouraged you to look at why you needed coffee and how you then made adjustments to your life which meant it was no longer needed as a crutch.
Deborah, it’s great to read this as it shows that a number of things we say we “love” and “enjoy” are things we need to keep us going through the day. Be it coffee or sugar or cake etc…What was really interesting was when you started to look at how you were living and made some supportive changes so that the “need” for coffee went away. I’ve experienced the same thing and it’s quite amazing how the need suddenly drops off and you wonder why you were so hooked in the first place.
Hi Deborah, I can relate to drinking a lot of coffee to get through my day; on and off for years I would give it up whilst I was on a health kick, but always ended up drinking it again. These days I no longer use coffee to keep me going and it has been 5 years with no relapse.
My day use to start and finish with a cup of coffee in my hand, and several cups in between. It took a long time before I realised that I had a coffee addiction and what was fuelling my need for it. It was that I was plain and simply exhausted. With the assistance of a Universal Medicine practitioner and my willingness to change, I have now eliminated this stimulant from my life completely. Your blog Deborah, has inspired me to appreciate how much I have healed, from my heavy drinking coffee days. Thank you.
This is a great article Deborah, and I can also really relate here as I used to be a coffee drinker also for the same reason. Amazing to now not need it to get through the day.
It is amazing what one simple question and the willingness to be honest can change.
Wow that’s amazing, coffee is a very big part of a lot of peoples’ diets, and for many looking honestly at the reasons behind needing the coffee can be difficult, as even if they do admit that they need it for ‘X’ reasons, there is a sense of responsibility that comes with making new and more supportive choices. So for you to be so honest in looking at your life, seeing what is exhausting you and making the choice to change is deeply amazing, thank you for sharing.
Deborah this is very inspiring and it feels very important to have this article available as an example, that we can let go of the things that we feel that we need. I can so relate to what you speak about re the concern that if you had let go, you would turn into an exhausted pile. I have often used the drive of overworking to keep me going and ignore my exhaustion, but like you, simple and small loving choices made consistently start to chip away at the pattern and the exhaustion gets dealt with slowly without a complete disintegration! Thank you for sharing this.
I can really relate to this. I was for sometime addicted to jasmine green tea, I kidded myself it was good for me, but I was using it in excess and making it as strong as I could, brewing it for a long time and many times filling half the cup with leaves so I could get a stronger hit. I went on like this for years overriding what my body was telling me. It wasn’t until my first session with an esoteric practitioner when I was asked to look at the reason as to why was I addicted to caffeine that I started to heal.
I had a similar experience Samantha. I gradually let coffee, and the more obvious ‘caffeine’ go, for it left me far too racy feeling, and the rest. And yet the green teas took their time… ‘all the way’ to a super-low caffeine, finely made Japanese variety, which by the way I did drink quite a LOT of for quite some time… Until, over time, and through honouring and attuning more deeply to its affects, I realised that it also was too much for my nervous system.
Removing caffeine from my diet was a gradual process, and one in which I felt several layers of nervous energy drop over time, and a sense of inner centrelines and stillness deepen.
It’s so interesting how addictive coffee is and how we avoid admitting that caffeine is just as powerful a drug as any other. I used to be quite the coffee fanatic (going on a vacation to the coffee capital of the U.S., Seattle, Washington didn’t help) and really enjoyed my coffee in copious amounts, but eventually gave it up when I realized how I simply could not function without it. I felt like a heroin addict, but with coffee being my drug, and that felt pretty awful. I remember a time when I contacted a marriage counselor back when my relationship was rocky and the first thing he said to me was “Do you drink a lot of coffee, because you sound quite anxious and agitated and this will definitely affect your relationship if you are in a constant state of adrenal exhaustion and operating in a “fight or flight” mode physiologically all the time. Boy did that tick me off to hear that, and I got very defensive. I told him I did not agree, and never spoke with him again. Your article here Deborah has inspired me to contact him (5 years later and totally caffeine free) and thank him for his wise and insightful, honest words!
Love it Xx
After reading your comment Michael i ask myself how come we are raised as children in a society where drinking coffee is one of the most normal things in the world and why are we not told about the side effects coffee has??
Yes, I find this interesting too…It seems as though that question “why do you need the coffee?” gave you permission to explore this….and come to realisations in your own time. Great that you really took this to heart and gradually came to address the whole way you were living . Realising coffee was a crutch you were willing to put other parts of your life in place to the point where you didn’t need your crutch anymore. I can feel that there are still totally unnecessary ‘crutches’ in my life. Areas where what I think I need no longer truly supports me. Your article highlights for me that by focussing on the way I am living not on the supposed need is the way to go.
As I grew up I watched all the adults drinking coffee (especailly after dinner) and so started drinking coffee in the evenings and in the breaks like everyone else. It never occurred to me that there were these physiological effects that were going on… I thought I was immune.
I gave up many years ago so am now sensitive to its effects – but recently ended up having some caffeine and could feel my heart race, my head ache and I was left lying wide awake for hours when it was time to sleep. It was following that experience that I could truly grasp that it is actually a poison for the body.
The last time I had a ‘de-caf’ soy flat white, I spent the entire day at work feeling anxious, it was horrible. I hadn’t had one for several months, so that allowed me to feel the effects that day – I loved that creamy drink but certainly not worth feeling that way -it was like a drug. I guess the effects are always happening when people drink coffee, it’s just the awareness is not.
Once we become conditioned to feeling a certain way we perceive that as normal and so it’s when we take a break from ingesting whatever substance we’re using to keep ourselves going and then reintroduce it that we can feel exactly what it’s doing to us. From there we have the awareness and opportunity to make a choice.
Very interesting that you approached this not by ‘tackling’ coffee head on, but by looking at and addressing many other areas of your life.
Same here Deborah, I still like the smell of fresh coffee, not so much when it’s in a liquid form but when it’s freshly ground. And I too no longer need it, so I don’t consume it.
A little while ago I was talking to somebody who trades on the New York stock exchange and he said that coffee (along with crude oil) is one of the biggest selling commodities. Just how tired is society?
The huge array of coffee shops in every town centre across the world suggests we are deeply exhausted. So Serge’s question could be posed to society as a whole: Why do we need the coffee? How are we living that is propelling this need for so much stimulation?
That is brilliant Ariana, actually coffee fools us , just like sugar, milk (diary). It might smell or even taste good, but it does not serve our body , as for real it poisons it. It is up to us to re-unite to feel what certain foods do to our body and let go of everything that we have let come in the way of feeling that.
Great question asked Dragana “Just how tired is society?” What way of living do we accept as normal. Do we accept exhaustion as being normal? And coffee as the solution, if we are honest.
It is amazing how it took one person to ask a very simple question – ‘Why you needed the coffee?’ in this instance, for a process of reflection and honesty to unfold that then brings about a change in behaviour. Thankfully Serge Benhayon cares enough to ask the simple questions, ones that allow us to consider a different way of being or to understand why we make certain choices.
Simple questions that can be so powerful they begin the whole unravelling process.