by Bernadette Glass
I have been working in the health and human services (family, disability, housing etc.) industry for a combined 30 years. I have always known that what makes the difference in people’s lives is the connection that is made with another human being to then reflect to them the essence of themselves which is love. We don’t readily use this word in our industry because it ‘blurs the boundaries’, gets us ‘emotionally involved’. We silently all know that what is missing in most of our clients’ lives is an experience of true connection with another, true love. Not emotional love, but a connection that the heart of humanity is calling out to be declared, be truly SEEN and individuals to be ‘met’ and known as ‘enough’ just for who they are.
A pivotal point in my career was a true story told by Narrative Therapy founder, Michael White. When supporting a woman with severe depression who was an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital, Michael asked her, “who is it that has seen you for who you truly are?”. The woman in her mid 30’s replied without hesitation, “my grade two teacher”. The story eventuated with a reconnection with the now well retired ‘grade two teacher’ and that was the beginning of the woman’s healing.
Since my connection with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have seen and felt the true way in which others have been ‘met’ for who they truly are, connected with their ‘enough-ness’ and begun to express themselves and their lives in true service to humanity, without the word ‘love’ being silenced!
Serge has an extraordinary understanding of the human condition and the effects on the individual and the collective when both are disregarded. This is reflected in the service demands for health, housing, social supports to name a few.
This is not rocket science!
I now present workshops myself in the human service field and what I am finding all over Australia is that many workers in this sector are exhausted, burnt out, pushed to the limits with the ever increasing demands for evidence of social advancement for clients to justify the dollars being spent!
What works as I present to workers across the sector is the reminder that we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve. A reminder of the first and foremost task of a worker, is to know this of themselves so that they can present and reflect this to their colleagues and clients. The response to such claims is always met with nods and relief that this topic is being discussed.
The essence of what Serge Benhayon presents is that we are all made to express love and to be connected. It is what everyone craves and feels to express. Why do we not say this? I have been inspired by the only person I know who truly is not afraid to say it to the world in a way that deeply challenges each individual to take responsibility for their lives in every aspect, bar none. We can make a difference. What are we afraid of?
This is a great question to ask everyone, “who is it that has seen you for who you truly are?”. Because those many that are around us have probably not seen or met us. So it’s a no wonder we niggle at each other.
When we met another, they can truly feel a settlement and sense that it’s ok. People just need that support to being with, that’s all. And then allow the rest to unfold.
“ “Who is it that has seen you for who you truly are?” “. Such a beautiful and yet simple question and I can also answer to that. When I was young, after moving to the UK from India, it was a infant school teacher. I couldn’t speak a word of English but I could feel everything. She had a nurturing energy about her and I felt safe with her.
Since then, I’ve never met anyone else until I met Serge Benhayon. To truly meet someone who understands you inside out, is unreal. The meaning of life is presented and then we realise and understand what it’s all about.
My life is far from perfect, but boy oh boy is it better in how I feel about myself in how I am in the world. Much for us to ponder over too. So the question is how are you and how are you being in this world? If it is awkward or difficult to answer, then maybe it is time for you to ponder who in your life sees you for who you truly are and reconnect to that and see what unfolds…
There’s always one person that stands out in our lives that truly meet us for who we are. It is the one that comes and goes in our lives but their presence is never forgotten, but can often be felt. That is the effects of Serge Benhayon too.
Burnout comes as a result of neglecting ourselves and relying upon function rather than connection.
Absolutely Henrietta. Burnout from disconnection comes from doing all the time, instead of stopping, connecting to you and then moving from there.
“we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve. A reminder of the first and foremost task of a worker, is to know this of themselves so that they can present and reflect this to their colleagues and clients.” – What a difference this would make if we applied this in every work place, every family, every circle of friends or groups of people etc. above and beyond the task that was to be done together.
“We don’t readily use this word in our industry because it ‘blurs the boundaries’, gets us ‘emotionally involved’. We silently all know that what is missing in most of our clients’ lives is an experience of true connection with another, true love.” – Bernadette, this nails it completely – Love is an essential ingredient of human relations, however we have tainted the words to mean something they are not and then seek to replace it with something it is not, hence we get a society that is lost of the very foundational ingredients that support it to thrive.
If so much pressure and focus is on an employees output without any true input (love and connection) then it makes sense that burnout occurs. Connection is an inward movement and without it everything we do outwardly is like breathing out constantly without an in-breath. Do it enough and things start to go awry.
“… be truly SEEN and individuals to be ‘met’ and known as ‘enough’ just for who they are.” Wow, what a loving world we would be in if we did this for each other and lived this truth for ourselves. I’m not quite there myself yet, I can see I am still unlocking all the expectations and pressures I have felt across my life and the negative thoughts that demean me, all of which steer me away from simply being me and enjoying this, knowing it’s enough.
“What works as I present to workers across the sector is the reminder that we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve.” Thank you Bernadette for calling out what is so much needed. I work in a field where the burn out workers ended up. When they are in our hospital this is exactly what I said to them as well therefore I love it very much that your are out there to present it before they will get the burn out.
Very much so, ‘We silently all know that what is missing in most of our clients’ lives is an experience of true connection with another, true love.’
That is some statistic Doug, and I’m sure there are similar ones for other professions like teaching, police force, aged care… not to mention suicide from work pressures. A foundation of self care and self love would benefit everyone everywhere, and from a young age,
Work to me is always about the healing on offer because of the relationships we encounter in our work day. We have an opportunity to bring the fullness of ourselves to others and meet them in theirs even if they are not living it as yet, but still knowing solidly that we are all in essence love.
Knowing we are enough is always met with nods and relief. It’s like we have waited most of our life to hear that we can down tools and stop with all the trying.
Spot on Fiona, it is a huge relief to drop the trying and to know that we are enough just as we are without trying to do anything. From here anything done, is an extension of who we are and then offers so much more to all around us.
This connection and expression, it starts with ourselves, I find. Otherwise, I will have a need to be met, connected, heard etc. and I set myself up for a hurt, or at least settling for arrangement. The fact that we are enough already even before anything, this needs to be deeply, deeply appreciated before anything else.
I am privileged to observe two little girls growing up, one is being brought up to know that she is adored for just being herself, she runs around like a ray of sunshine and brightens up the dullest of days; there is a vitality about her that is not often seen in children any more. The other little girl is utterly gorgeous but has already withdrawn and looks upon life with suspicion. I am observing just how easy it is to crush a child’s innate sense of wonder at the world and this takes the shine out of them and there is no true vitality in their body. I look around and can see that for many people there is no true sense of the vitality that we took for granted when I grew up, there is a dullness to the way we move and interact with others.
It’s such a powerful observation, both in what we are doing to children to crush their essence, and how we look and feel, vital and joyous, when our essence is nurtured and exuberant. We may not even notice when we as adults or children are suppressed and in the dullness because it’s actually now our global normal.
To be met in our ‘enough-ness’ is all we ever want as children, to be seen and heard for the adorable children we all are. And with all the modern advances, new technology etc., We are still a million miles away
from expressing this to our children, What is it about the way we live in society that when a baby grows out of the baby stage we start to impose upon it so that by the time it is 3-4 years old all the love they carry has been suppressed for another life time.
That’s exactly it Mary, we have made the outer world and achievements, material things, technology, etc, more important than what truly supports and nourishes us as human beings. We need to restore the right order of loving people first and confirming the preciousness they are, and then when established in our fullness take that out to life. Otherwise all the achievements and technological advancements we make are things we need to fill the inner emptiness, instead of coming from the place within of deeply knowing who we are and the recognition of the outer world is not needed, in its place is our loving purpose to serve the all.
I too work in care and have found that I can only be a care provider for others when I care for myself. Otherwise I become a function maintainer but that doesn’t heal anything.
Great realisation Leigh – we can function incredibly well, but that only lasts so long till such time that we stop to realise the emptiness that is there and that life is more than about pure function, and that life is in fact so much more than pure function – and so when we make it only about function we are missing out on the core aspects of life, which is the actual LIVING LIFE part – the part a lot of us forget about and need to be reminded of to come back to.
The idea of well demarcated boundaries in the name of protecting us is often times the perfect excuse for those who do not care and do not understand that what happens within those boundaries is also related to what happens outside of them.
Yes, it has always been about function for me, getting the job done and moving to the next. That is why I burned out at 50. Now with support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am slowing done and working with the concept that being met is all people want.
It really has changed my relationship to work and the people I meet.
When you stand in front of someone who is not afraid of others you can feel where your fear lies. It takes honesty to go there and to recognise the attachments and the ideals that lie dormant in our bodies and hold us back.
This is common disease within the world for any kind of employment. In my work environment they have contracted to an external coach to improve the work environment. Some of the principles we are being asked to now work with is kindness, being good to each other and being present, physically and not consciously present, in other words resilience to one another.
One of the things that hasn’t been asked of us is being consciously present when we are working, exploring what our bodies are really going through.
No doubt this has cost my employer thousands of dollars and it will be interesting whether burnout will be eradicated after this coach has finished with us. I am finding the whole thing interesting to observe.
There is such truth in what has been shared here. I pondered on my work environment and wondered what was going on when I first commenced there. Over the years I became part of the statistics of burnout and it was only when I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I made the choice to turn my life around, I did not want to be part of this statistic anymore.
Have I perfected it? No, but I know who I am in my work environment more now then ever.
If there is a message I could send to others experiencing similar issues is once you tap into who you are, that what is out there can no longer tap into you in the same way.
Being met is the greatest healing. I remember the first time I was truly and fully met was when I met and was met by Serge Benhayon and through that met myself. The more I meet myself the more I meet everyone else. It is with and through love that we meet.
We are all love, and when we work from and with love we realise the necessity to look after ourselves, in order to support what we do, and as we take on that responsibility others see that there is another way to work, and we all inspire others to come from love first.
Yes, when you feel the burnout and the consequences of that burnout, you recognise that you cannot fulfill the role you have been asked to do therefore everyone who would have been supported by the work you do loses out. That can be in a bank, or as a carer, same same. Yet when we feel that responsibility there is a different approach and more self care is brought in to ensure burnout does not happen.
When there’s consideration for our responsibility there is a love that considers everyone else IN our approach towards ourselves.
I just realised that talking about love in healthcare is like the elephant in the room. It’s so there but no one wants to say the word because what we think love is and all the innuendo attached to it. But yet at the same time it’s there in every moment and in every activity.
It’s crazy that we have so much innuendo and so many falsities attached to the word love, in truth love is so simple and we know it from touch, from a look, from how we are spoken to, and even feel it in the meals that are cooked for us. We need love restored back into every part of life. The craziness of this attitude to love is reflected in our ready acceptance of neglect, roughness and abuse.
“What works as I present to workers across the sector is the reminder that we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve.” . . . what a beautiful thing to present to people! I can feel the shoulders drop and the face relax even as I read this. It must have have the same effect on everyone who hears this as it is talking to us on a very deep level.
Being seen as being enough for who we truly are can have a very profound and healing effect. It’s akin to the snowflake that starts an avalanche, very powerful to once again reconnect to who we are and is the greatest gift anyone can receive.
When we do healing, we connect to parts of the body, holding two different energies and the one that remains purer heals and re-ignites the other. Thus, it is not a surprise that people can also start the healing process by re-connecting to those who have seen the true them. It makes perfect sense.
Connection and understanding is just as important as water, oxygen and food. We all need it and it ought to be a basic right. The fact that it is not says a lot about our tendency to focus on what we do instead of who we all are.
Agreed Bernadette, being open to feeling our connection with ourselves and each other it is not rocket science and what’s more is that every single one can bring this quality, of truly meeting another, to all our relationships. From this point of connection, a greater level of truth and love can be honored and lived not only for ourselves but equally so with others. And this is precisely what will bring an end to accepting all levels of abuse that we live for ourselves and we allow between us.
‘The essence of what Serge Benhayon presents is that we are all made to express love and to be connected. It is what everyone craves and feels to express. Why do we not say this?’ This is a good question…
Beautiful Bernadette, each and every one of us can make a difference to anothers life but foundational to that our own health and wellbeing must always be honoured for if we care for others at the expense of ourselves the risk of burnout will always increase exponentially.
Also, what are we giving to another if we are tired and exhausted? Personally I think people got irritated, resentful, and as much fullness as a dried out raisin!!! I had no idea this wasn’t normal till I built a deeper relationship with myself. Now the difference is glaringly obvious and I humbly apologise to those I offered the dried out raisin when they could have had a grape 🙂
“We are all made to express love and to be connected. It is what everyone craves and feels to express. Why do we not say this?” – this is a show-stopper question, Bernadette. We keep cheating ourselves and each other by settling for something far less than that, not even daring to ask what it is we truly want. We actually do know when we go after arrangement instead of connection, recognition instead of love that we are never going to get what we truly want and deserve but choose the booby prize instead – fearing what if we didn’t get that and rejected, and I totally did that myself. But the thing is love is already here. We don’t even have to ask for it to be given. It is here and we just have to fall back into that.
‘The essence of what Serge Benhayon presents is that we are all made to express love and to be connected.’ It is only when we are not this that life can become pear shaped and we get into serious muddles.
I read on a social care company website recently that ‘we believe that the ability to care is a defining human quality’. The point is well made but in truth my feeling is that the most defining quality we have is to be love. Yes, we have made love mean ’emotional involvement’ and hence we are discouraged from expressing it in our work. But love is so innate in us, we cannot just switch it off when we go to work. Attempts to do so distort who we are and lead to a perverse relationship with others. Love is much more than the nice feeling we get about another sometimes. It is a way of being, right from the depths of our hearts that can be – and is being – lived in many lives today. Let’s hear it for love.
Makes perfect sense to me Doug. A world build of self-love…let’s do it.
I’m so there… love’s army!
I love how you’ve presented this Bernadette: that we are enough as we are, before any of the things that we do in our lives, and our number one job above anything else, is to remember this, embrace it, and reflect it to others so that they know that, too. Sometimes we want to shut off and disconnect from what we can feel because it’s too uncomfortable or painful, But perhaps the only way forward is to allow ourselves to feel everything, in full, and to know that feelings and emotions aren’t permanent. The way to heal them is to acknowledge that they are there, and to feel them without getting lost in them. Building a connection with our body, to feel what is there and express it and connect with others, is one of the best ways that we can support ourselves to do this.
The beauty of meeting another is felt physically in our bodies. We can feel that once we have made the choice to do so, we settle in our bodies and become clear, honest and attentive. There is nothing more beautiful than bringing this to ourselves and others.
Our bodies and beings are designed to energetically connect – through expression, openness and Love. To avoid, shut off, disconnect or deny true connection with ourselves and others is a huge factor of illness and disease because it’s going against everything the body naturally wants to be.
When love is the focus of how we live, there is richness and vitality that fills our lives with a quality that cannot be compared. I have noticed and experienced how it is the quality of our connection to love, within ourselves first, that brings true enrichment to whatever we do and the relationships we are in be it work, family, friends or otherwise. I am sure we can all reflect on how the truly enriching moments in our lives are the ones where we are met with or touched by heartfelt connections, by love. We all do deeply crave love, as it is love that confirms who we are.
From what I have seen this is true for all of us in all circumstances, “I have always known that what makes the difference in people’s lives is the connection that is made with another human being to then reflect to them the essence of themselves which is love.” When I think back when I was younger or I think of the work I do what holds most is that connection or that relationship with people. I am often saying, ‘that’s what I am here for’ to connect with people and have them connect. For me in life there is nothing greater or nothing I offer more dedication to than this. I can see from people and feel from me that this is what fulfils me and I remember something I always held dear from young was that I wanted to know everyone in the world in this way. I use to think it was silly but now I can see what I was saying, connection.
The world has attempted to corrupt the truth of love, through reinterpretation and misrepresenatation in order to keep us from knowing and living its power. Yet there is nothing to be gained by aligning to the false versions and everything to be restored by living its wisdom and holding of all.
This a very powerful blog Bernadette. Your words . . “We can make a difference. What are we afraid of?” . . . have really struck a cord with me as I realise that once we really do support ourselves by bringing the care and love back to our every aspect of living there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of as nobody can take the knowing of who you truly are away from you and that knowing awakes others to come to know who they truly are. The difference we can make is profound and all that is required is for us to simply be the love that we are and all else will come from this.
You can feel the level of care and love you bring to your work Bernadette. A true service you offer reminding others that they are ‘enough’ well before they do anything. Serge Benhayon as you say is an inspiration in never holding back on delivering the truth, and has inspired many others equally to do the same. Thanks for sharing.
How true, all everyone wants is to be seen and loved for who they are. We remember these meetings as the beautiful example of the woman you describe shows. When we lose connection to the love we are all else in life becomes dull and lack lustre.
Yes true indeed Victoria – when we oppose our connection to love, we lose sense of who truly are in essence, and as such the lives we live are missing the exact quality that we seek to live with – the love we are within.
Thank you Bernadette, very inspiring to read your blog again. It’s so true what you have shared, we all innately want to be met and valued for who we are and not for what we do, to express love and to be met with love, and I agree, with love the crucial missing factor everywhere (home life, work and education etc) why aren’t we all talking more about it?
That sense of feeling separate and disconnected to others leaves us feeling isolated, alone and helpless against the onslaught of the fast paced society that today surrounds us and in many ways engulfs us. This erosion of self also applies to everyone equally no matter if we are the employer, employee or the client.
It feels like we are operating under this unspoken agreement that we uphold this world even though we know its faults and lies and that it’s not working and never going to work. What you are bringing through your work by connecting with people feels amazing. A great example of how truth always finds its way.
We are all made to express love and be connected, and I welcome the day when we all live this again.
Meeting another is simple giving that person your full attention, listening to what they are saying and not wanting to be anywhere other than where you are. It’s quite simple and quite profound.
It is indeed a very healing moment when we are seen for who we are and not our choices. Even though, we are made from our choices, in a way, but they are not the essence or core of who we are.
I agree Bernadette, what makes the difference in people’s lives ‘ is the connection that is made with another human being to then reflect to them the essence of themselves which is love’.
The moment we have bought into not being enough or needing to be different than we are we have abandoned who we naturally are and given ourselves away to the need of being completed from outside. Being seen for who we are allows us to reconnect to our enough-ness and get to experience again who we innately are and once felt as children. Once we know ourselves being enough again to be seen by another becomes a confirmation instead of a need.
Each and everyone of us has so much to bring, simply being themselves and with all the skills we have learned, that is what we need to honour and cherish, coming away from the constant criticising and betterment we have bought into.
Spot on Bernadette, the world is starving to have true connection and be met for who they truly are and Serge Benhayon beautifully and consistently reflects this to everyone he meets. There is such joy and love you feel when you are met in this way – it is deeply healing on so many levels.
Thank you Bernadette. Serge Benhayon met and sees me for who I am and this has shown me that I can meet and see myself for who I truly am – certainly nothing to be afraid of.
What you have shared here about stress, burnout and exhaustion is huge with teachers across the globe.
I actually don’t feel it’s about looking at the top suicide rated profession as if we take it across countries for example, farmers and fishermen etc in the USA are top, there has been a recent report here in the UK, where “Female nursery and primary teachers have a significantly higher risk of suicide than the average woman, according to new figures released by the Office for National Statistics (ONS). They are 42 per cent more likely to kill themselves, according to the new data.
For the first time, the ONS has released a breakdown of suicide figures by occupation, highlighting those workers at particular risk.There were 2,544 suicides in England among women between 2011 and 2015: the period covered by the report. Of these, 102 were primary or nursery teachers.” https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-news/female-primary-teachers-have-42-higher-average-risk-suicide
If one person suicides, no matter who it is, be it a child, doctor, cleaner, mum, farmer, dad, grandparent, it is still a matter of huge concern, and absolute need for asking questions. I’m not sure I agree with doctors being the most intelligent of professions… that’s almost pigeon holing people – but I do understand if people are saying in terms of what they are taught about the body and the mechanics of it, that they ‘should’ know better so to speak, but let’s face it there is absolutely no love or care, in the training or the profession, and that goes for many areas of life and work, not just doctors, and that’s the problem.
Thankyou Bernadette, the work of Serge Benhayon has also transformed how I do business, the environment we nurture is one of all staff just being themselves and appreciating staff for the qualities they bring to the workplace. It’s so simple but we have moved so very far away from being who we are and the richness this brings to life.
Connection is a key factor, connections with self and then connections with others. If we are unable to connect we are holding ourselves back from being all that we can be. Through connection we are able to go deeper with ourselves and be the true us.
Connection makes the whole difference in the world. Many of the phenomena we suffer originates in the fact of disconnection without realising that this is it, even less that this is a problem and a choice that can be changed.
Amazing Bernadette, I love what you shared about the woman in therapy being asked who had met her… and her knowing instantly who that was, from decades earlier. It is a sad indictment on us as a society that someone can only name one person in 20 or 30 years. I daresay most of us could echo that… until meeting Serge Benhayon. His ability to ‘meet’ another is second to none, as is testimonied by the thousands of blogs and comments on these sites.
Love in its essence is consistent and steady and has both an honouring and a holding quality. It is the complete opposite of emotional love which is characterised by a roller coaster of highs and lows
The success of my career in my industry is mostly due to my connection to people whether customers or colleagues. It has also supported me to maintain a quality all day and not drop in energy.
Can you imagine how our experience of work would change if first and foremost every person was met for themselves and that in that we are enough. We would then be supported to be able to learn and do our jobs from the point of view of expansion instead of what is usually the case, feeling less and trying to make up the skill/knowledge gap or achieving targets and objectives.
Thank you Bernadette for a great sharing, we have been brought up with the idea that what we do makes us worthwhile as a person and the more we do or achieve the more we are recognised. But this is all so empty when what we most of all crave is to be met just for who we are, without the doing. I remember the tears I shed when I realised the I am enough that being me was ok I am ok.
It sounds like you are doing some incredibly valuable work with others. It is sad that when asked this question ‘who is it that has seen you for who you truly are?” the woman could only think of one person in her life that had seen her for who she truly was. I am sure this is the same for millions if not billions of others that they have either been truly met in their life by 1 person or a few. Why so little? It should be when we are asked this question we cannot remember the number because we have been truly met by so so many people throughout our lives. When this happens it will be a day to celebrate for sure. I wholeheartedly agree with what you have shared about Serge Benhayon ‘The essence of what Serge Benhayon presents is that we are all made to express love and to be connected. It is what everyone craves and feels to express. Why do we not say this? I have been inspired by the only person I know who truly is not afraid to say it to the world in a way that deeply challenges each individual to take responsibility for their lives in every aspect, bar none. We can make a difference. What are we afraid of?’
Well said and well asked Bernadette! Why is it so hard to talk about love being the missing ingredient. Love and being met for who we truly are is exactly what I see every day is the missing ingredient.
How simple and every powerful to start with that we are enough. This makes a huge difference as otherwise we are constantly busy with improving ourselves and/or feeling inadequate and that alone brings unmeasurable stress to our bodies. There is so much each of us brings and this needs to be deeply honoured and cherished.
We live in a world where we are judged on what we do. When we allow people to be who they are and celebrate them in that, they then feel the power in themselves to shine.
It is an absolute blessing that you are out in the industry presenting this from your lived experience… from knowing how paramount it is and the profound difference it can make when people are met for who they are and held in knowing they are enough regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in. This is the missing yet much needed foundation that the human services industry should be founded on… fundamentally changing people-centered practice forever.
This is a very powerful blog Bernadette, reminding us that we are fully equipped with everything that we need to live life and empowering us that we do have the capacity to change a lot in the world by doing it one step at a time.
Wow Bernadette – there is something deeply powerful in this blog – thank you. Meeting people for who they truly are is a breath of fresh air – and a reflection of Love. How awesome.
It’s amazing how we remember the people who truly connect with us with absolute clarity, and that we have the potential to offer that same moment of magic to everyone we meet… Thinking about it makes me want to head to the nearest public place right now!!
Bernadette it is such a wonderful job your are doing – your are an inspiration for all you are working with. All get the reflection that they are enough as well – how beautiful is that!
Thankyou Bernadette, it’s great to read your story. The healing we all crave does come from human connection, and I love that you have shared about supporting those in caring professions to embody first the very thing they know their clients desperately want to feel – feeling that we are enough exactly as we are.
From holding back expressing love and holding back true connection in our every interaction with another person, I feel it is causing us to be in misery. I agree we all crave love and true connection but why are we then not expressing this? It is very simple, we simply connect to love from within and express it out unconditionally, with no expectations or recognition but to do what we are here to naturally do. Express love and truth and live in true connection with ourselves and others.
Thank you Bernadette, we all have a love within us that everyone is crying out for, not knowing that it is within us this whole time as how the world has been set up is designed to not have us know it is all there waiting for us. Having known this for some time it does bring up the question of why hold this back? What is the fear and how can there be a fear of loosing something if the very thing we deeply crave the most and have with us constantly can never be lost in the first place? Where and what is the lie that who we truly are won’t exist if we share this quality and connection with others come from?
All human beings fundamentally crave being seen for who they truly are; they crave just being met. I agree that more could easily be done in all walks of life to support and train those who work with people in understanding and appreciating the potential in this one simple fact. From there, it wouldn’t take much, knowing this irrefutable truth, to make great inroads in those areas directly involved in the human condition.
Being burnt out and lacking true connection can be found in any workplace. ‘we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve’ – a lovely reminder to us all and one that should be expressed every day.
It is an awesome reminder Lindellparlour but it is crazy that we need reminders like this to be living and working in a way that we already naturally know and feel to be true. We therefore, have to exert an enormous amount of energy to go against what is so natural for us. Our natural way is to continuously express love yet we often hold this back.
An indication of how powerful and important connection is, is the fact we have had interactions with thousands of people in our life, however the people that are always in our memory are the ones that met and connected to us
So true Joe, even if the connection was only for a moment and you don’t remember their name and sometimes what they looked like, but you’ll always remember the connection you had.
‘Since my connection with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have seen and felt the true way in which others have been ‘met’ for who they truly are’. – Beautifully said Bernadette, the first person that truly met me was Serge Benhayon so I know the positive impact this had on my life. What you share here is powerful reminder of true connection and feeling ‘enough’ – an absolute game changer in a world where the focus can be on profit before people.
I bet the presentations you make Bernadette are fantastic given what you introduce in the first paragraph of this blog: Meeting, seeing and connecting with each other with a sense we are all already enough is applicable across any industry as well as to every person in the world – well done for making your work about love.
‘I now present workshops myself in the human service field and what I am finding all over Australia is that many workers in this sector are exhausted, burnt out, pushed to the limits with the ever increasing demands for evidence of social advancement for clients to justify the dollars being spent!’ Bernadette, the day this tactic and approach is seen for causing more distress in people than it solves cannot come soon enough. While it is relevant to know the efficacy of a service the methods and criteria being used to gain this evidence is putting the cart before the horse, perhaps because it has been applied as a band aid solution in a system that was already struggling. In particular schools teachers in the United States are leaving the profession in droves, not because they dislike teaching the students, but due to the incessant pressures to continually assess and gauge the learning progress of the students leaving far less time for actual teaching and relationship building with the students.
Bernadette, this sentence reverberates a truth about Serge Benhayon worth repeating as it is what I and at least hundreds of other people would not be shy to agree with you upon – ‘Serge has an extraordinary understanding of the human condition and the effects on the individual and the collective when both are disregarded.’ I have never seen anything on television, attended any lecture, seminar or course that comes close to offering the understanding Serge Benhayon has about the human condition and I have done more than my fair share of searching.
A powerful blog Bernadette. Exhaustion and burnout is everywhere as people strive to live up to the expectations they put on themselves, to ‘do’ a good job and to be recognised for what they do. When we come back to appreciate the love and beauty of who we are and have this with us in all we do we know we are enough. Serge Benhayon is an inspiration of love, love of self and love of humanity.
‘ When we come back to appreciate the love and beauty of who we are and have this with us in all we do we know we are enough’ Great words Mary. When we live our true self and express this to the world, there is nothing we need or want and recognition is not required for we know who we are in full.
This is such an awesome blog Bernadette! What a firecracker of a, and not only a woman but a colleague you are. Allowing others at work of all places to see for themselves that they are more than what they do, and that by appreciating themselves first and therefore the impact that can have on everyone around them is enormous.
Great points shared here Bernadette, – the most powerful of which is the fact that despite all our advances in technology, medicine etc., these are no substitute for our need for true connection with others and the healing and support that can be offered if / when we return to make this part of our focus.
To understand the human condition we first need to understand ourselves.
This is why Serge Benhayon can offer such valuable insight because he knows himself inside out.
Well said Luke and from a loving understanding of ourselves – and a honest one at that – we can then bring a loving understanding of others.
I agree saraflenley, Luke has expressed it beautifully. Understanding ourselves first is key.
Agree and agree.
‘To understand the human condition we first need to understand ourselves.’ This should be on every billboard for everyone to read. I feel this message would be a great ‘stop’ moment for many people.
Thank you for the feedback lindellparlour
“we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve. A reminder of the first and foremost task of a worker, is to know this of themselves so that they can present and reflect this to their colleagues and clients.” This is absolute gold, Bernadette. It is our responsibility to reflect this to each other.
“… the reminder that we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve” – I needed to read this sentence. Thank you Bernadette.
I can not help but imagine the impact of this teaching if it were brought into schools and workplaces as a mandatory! I mean, what are we waiting for?
Thank you, Bernadette. “We are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve” – such a great reminder. Recently I visited a few pre-schools and what I witness was how they were all too busy trying to out-do each other as businesses by producing more ‘successful’ kids as increasing numbers of parents start putting pressure on kids to put them in a prestigious school, and it was heartbreaking to hear how kids were learning to trade love for recognition at a very early stage, and adults see this as success.
Thanks Bernadette, as you say, we all want to be seen, to love and be loved, you would think that is the obvious place to start with anything and everything, but we don’t. Well done on the awareness and love you are taking to those that you present to Bernadette, little by little love is being re-introduced into all of our lives, no matter how much we resist.
Since four years I am working in the health care after saying goodbye to it 25 years ago. I had a burnt out because of all the years I worked for recognition and approval. Now I am back knowing who I am and more loving and nurturing for myself. A reflection for clients and colleagues that we are enough. Still, working in healthcare is a challenge, the pressure is even higher then 25 years ago and I see colleagues working in the same way I did when I was younger. The demands of the job are putting yourself first and they do not truly take care for themselves with in this system, a system that is not about connection at all.
I am very grateful for knowing it is always about connection first since the presentations and workshops of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine came into my life, that’s why I could return to working in the healthcare now in the way that I do.
This great Bernadette and it shows the damage being done when we bastardize the true meaning of love. When we make love about dependency, needs, or something reserved for a special few then we will only be separated more and more leading to the tsunami of lonely people we now have in this world. Make intimacy about something that can only exist between the sheets with our partner and true connection between human beings is lost in false sense of decency, restrictions and fears. What I have learned from Serge Benhayon is that love is universal and intimacy is about connection and this is exactly what the work is craving.
Wow! Bernadette What a beautiful meaningful blog full of love and understanding. “What makes the difference in peoples lives is the connection that is made with another human being to then reflect to them the essence of themselves which is love”.
This is a simply lovely blog Bernadette. It also triggered a reminder for me of a teacher I had at 13 whom I know saw me for who I truly was and nurtured me, along with all of us in the class without favour. I responded and found the subject at hand much easier because I could feel his true love and care for us and for what he was doing.Being truly met with love and understanding is a powerful catalyst for welcome change.
The work you do is so essential Bernadette and you do it well. Having experienced several of your workshops I have loved how natural you are at connecting with and honouring people and bringing love and understanding to your clients.
Given that most people spend as much if not more time in their places of work than with our loved ones it’s vitally important that we are supported and seen in the workplace for who we truly are and not just for what we do. Love cannot be compartmentalised and only shared with those closest to us.
Great sharing Deborahmckay, vital knowledge for everyone who goes out to work.
True. I see people go ‘instrumental’ at work. As if we can close a door, put on our harness and pretend work is a place to defend ourselves from. Not just for one day, but for years. It seems rationally a clear option, but physically it is ‘killing’. The possibility to connect is gone, something we deeply need at the workplace.
Agree deborahmckay! I’m finding that myself at the moment while i notice how quickly I fall into self doubt at work due to the reactions of people around me. Knowing that everybody deserves love not just those we claim to love is really the heart of where it all magically falls into place.
I was switching my love off to go to work. I would clock watch until it was time to go home and I couldn’t wait for the weekends so I could be me. Now I take me to work and I no longer clock watch, I enjoy what I do and I no longer crave for the weekends.
Love is such a simple word Bern and, if truly felt, its capacity for transformation is oh so powerful.
On reading your blog I am reminded of when you truly meet, connect with and love another, in the workplace or wherever, you experience the joy, love and magic of God.
As you said Bern, this is something we all respond to and crave for.
‘What are we afraid of?’ You so wisely ask Bernadette.
Making changes?
Being seen as unprofessional for bringing the concept of true love into the workplace?
Or being truly responsible for our own lives?
Serge Benhayon has not been afraid to bring it and neither have you Bernadette.
I want to attend one of your workshops. You are inspirational and you are making a difference. Thank you
Working in the health field I find it disappointing that we seem to be moving further and further into service delivery that is primarily based on fiscal decision making eg how many clients can a worker see in a day, targets, budgets etc. Workers are constantly being asked to ‘improve’ how they work which usually equates to being asked to do more with less resources. The basics of connection to the people we are actually there to support is getting lost in such an environment and staff morale is dropping. What a breath of fresh air it would be to lift all these expectations off staff and just ask them to trust that they are ‘enough’ and to go and work/connect with people on that basis. Thanks Bernadette for writing such a timely blog.
This is truly inspiring Kristy, and it is contagious. It is beautiful to be met with the love that we are. Serge Benhayon has inspired many others, by example, to live in this natural way.
Thank you Bernadette, what great work you are doing…Reminding us we are more than ‘enough’ as we are, before we do whatever it is we do. Truly meeting and connecting with each other is our natural way.
Really awesome awareness you bring here Bernadette, because underneath all our hurts is the deep need for connection and to be seen for who we are. As you quite rightly state it is time we all stood up and expressed this and begin to appreciate that we do not need to strive for acceptance or recognition but to know that we are enough as we are.
Bernadette your article made an impact on me. I felt instantly how most of the worlds population is operating from a place of not feeling that they are enough and the constant striving and searching that this then sets up in order to feel enough. Good grief if the world were to feel the fact that they are already more than enough then it would revolutionize the world as we know it ! So amazing that you have started to tell them !
To know that we are everything we need before we even do anything, is everything. I spent a long time doing everything to prove, to myself mostly, that I was worth something. To understand this has been huge and then to meet and connect with others knowing that they are also everything has been even bigger. Thank you Bernadette.
Bernadette, what you say is so true. Exhaustion and burnout in most essential services is absolutely rife and can no longer be swept under the carpet and ignored. By expressing honestly where we are at and by starting to take care of ourselves, we feel much more nourished and vital and can more readily express our caring qualities to another. This in turn inspires others to start to care for themselves and then they inspire others, and so on and so on….paving the way for a new way.
Bernadette I love what you have shared. It’s so true all of us simply what to be connected to for truly who we are which has nothing to do with what we do!
So true Jane, I realised recently how much of our time where I work is spent dealing with various customer issues and problems. Every now and then there is some gorgeous feedback reminding us of what an amazing job we do, but I realised that the majority of people are getting a great service, it’s just that we’re not seeing that part happen. Even when problems arise it is unusual for a client to be unsatisfied or upset, so there is still an amazing service taking place. So, if we don’t start by knowing we are good enough, the work environment is not often a place to confirm it for us, and probably more likely to confirm the opposite, when that isn’t the case.
It is so important not to be afraid to say the truth. I can remember people in my life who were willing to tell me the truth even though it was quite likely what I was going to hear from them wouldn’t go down too well (eg. boyfriend cheating on me, not performing well at work/school). The thing is, when they said it, I felt relieved about what they’d said, and although there was a discomfort, I actually really appreciated that they had actually been honest with me. Looking back, I remember these moments of truth clearly and cherish the person for caring enough to be honest with me, I wish that more people could have had the courage to say the truth, as even if I didn’t like what they said at the time, I had the opportunity to not ignore something I was doing, or to face up to something. I can also remember very difficult times when I wasn’t given the whole truth in a situation, and how upset, confused or unable to accept it I became. I feel sure that if the person had had the courage to be honest, it would have been much simpler.
Telling the truth makes a difference, so what are we afraid of?
I agree Laura. I’d rather be ‘hit’ with a truth than be ‘protected’ with a lie.
That connection you’re describing is in my experience what we most want. I used to work renting out cars and what we all wanted, customers as well as service staff was to connect with the other. The business part of it then seemed not as important.
The working world would be a totally different place if connection and self care were the pillers of each business.
Thank you Bernadette, I to remember my grade three teacher who truly met me. Looking back at my records in grade three I came in the top ten in my exams, every other year I was in the top forty. So there is absolutely something in being met, as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Thanks for your blog Bernadette. It’s easy to place too much focus on achieving in the workpace, and forget that we are enough as we are. We just need to be met.
Yes, Serge Benhayon has a truly extraordinary understanding of the human condition. I really like it when you said that we silently know what is missing in a person’s life. It is also very true that when we connect even if this connection is very brief, that remains there forever. Your call for connection in the workplace is truly needed.
Being met for who we truly are – the world cries out for this in every moment. We are enough inside and connecting to this for ourselves is key – yet we all need a little support and help. I have received amazing support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
It’s awesome to know and a huge relief that we are enough just as it is.
I love what you share. In our work places we often forget that life is not just about all the things that need doing, all the boxes that require ticking, but about people! Connecting to a person for who they truly are, their ‘enough-ness’, can make an enormous difference in their life, and in our own.
So true Carmin. In fact I was reading an article today about health care being about people an not protocols and box ticking. Attempting to fit people into boxes, reduces us to something we are not, in an attempt to save money. The truth is that it does not save money and we also end up not meeting any needs at all.
Beautifully said Bernadette, I loved reading this. Reminding people ‘they are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve’ is an extraordinary presentation for people to consider about themselves, especially in a world that suggests that this is not the case so that many sadly lace their journey through life with either a drive to be more or just resign to never being enough.
I too have seen the profound affect of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine truly meeting people for who they are and them being enough, and can only champion this as a much needed way to assist the health and human service industry where this connection with ourselves is an enormous healing, and is especially lacking.
We might ask ourselves: Why do we choose a complicated and exhausting way before a simple connection? We are not stupid beings. So what is going wrong behind the scenes? Serge Benhayon was the first person I met who provided me with an answer, that truly meets the question.
I agree Felix. It seems to be surprisingly hard for most people to look you in the eye when you shake their hand, or often even when they talk to each other. The eyes go everywhere but forward.
“What works as I present to workers across the sector is the reminder that we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve.” Why don’t we feel we are enough just the way we are? It is so simple and true. If we could just reflect this to everyone, wow life would change, because love would be in the air, true love.
So true. And not only do we crave to be loved and met but also is it a real joy to meet people like that – with interest, openness, understanding, care, acceptance – in one word: LOVE.
Thank you Bernadette, How powerful are the words: “you are enough and what a relief to know this for oneself”.
Great article Bernadette, I especially loved (and agree completely with) your statement that ‘Serge has an extraordinary understanding of the human condition and the effects on the individual and the collective when both are disregarded.’
Being met and seen for who you truly are is powerful beyond words. There is so much of life that is about what we do, so to bring it back to being met and celebrated for who we are first is really important too.
Brilliant, thank you Bernadette for this simple and profound article, ‘we are ‘enough’ as human beings long before the expectations to achieve’, this is so simple and true and if we live knowing this how very different life would be for humanity.
There is a place inside us all that knows love and connection so deeply – our world is scarred with many who have forgotten that this part of them lives. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present is that there is much to be known and lived from this simple connection back to the inner heart and what then can resonate so freely, for all to benefit from.
Being truly ‘met’ stands out nowadays and is not ‘normal’ for each of us. Yesterday in a career coaching session the client I met for the first time started crying and said: “you see me for who I am and it is so long ago somebody really saw the true me”. We all crave love and being met. Me too. I love love and I love the people at work. They are my family too.
It’s undeniable – the very fact that connection and love are natural to us and yet to withdraw, hold back or ‘be afraid’ of honesty and responsibility as you pose the question are indeed opposite to our true nature. Being met for the simple beauty of who you are is one of the most precious feelings you can experience, an experience we all deserve to live everyday.
Thank you Bernadette- in every workplace and wherever we go it is about true connection and to feel and let people feel we are enough without doing or achieving something. This true connection is called love, and it seems we are so afraid to name it as such. Why has love become ’emotional’ love? Why do we make it about emotions instead of about this true connection. What are we afraid of? – We are love!
It is a beautiful feeling when you are truly met and also when you truly meet someone. To appreciate the love that is within and to feel that this love it is enough inspires a truly loving connection, when we meet another in the same way. Thank you Bernadette for highlighting so powerfully the potency of connecting to and expressing the Love that we already are.
I so LOVE that you bring in the word love here in this context. It is almost as if we are not allowed to use the love word at times or admit that it is what we all want. How sad that we feel ashamed to say or use the word love freely as it in its true use it is a Divine word. There is a great presentation on the true meaning of love on Unimedpedia Love which can be found at the Unimed Living website: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html
Yes we all know if we are being truly met or not and and how much we appreciate that – what a difference it makes. I feel to add that we also know if we truly meet another and how much we can appreciate that. And isn’t all of this because we have chosen to put love first – love for ourselves and love for another? Thank you Bernadette for making it simple and bringing it back to love. “true connection with another, true love. Not emotional love”
When we talk about how important it is to “be met”, to be seen for who we are, to have a real connection with another person it is so obvious that this is a universal and extremely important topic to discus openly and to be sure that each of us is taking the responsibility to be and share the love that we are.
You never forget the teachers who truly meet you and accept you for who you are and expect nothing in return. So, it makes sense that if whilst we were young we were taught that we are enough, our working experience and the way we are at work would be a totally different experience. Thank you for sharing.
We certainly were humans before we were employees.
Sometimes it is easy for me to forget that – and this blog reminds me of how important it is to bring who we are to work, not just a continuation of doing. A lovely reminder of how important connection is.
I like what you say here “we are humans before we are employees.” And we are humans before we DO anything! Let’s make a point to feel and witness our own and each others humanness more!
Yes, and we don’t relinquish our humanness when we become employees; we are actually the same and we still crave love and connection, no matter the job title, ranking or salary.
Agree Gabriele. It is so important to appreciate that we are not just a job title – just like roles don’t define us. And at the end of the day, having relationships that are as strong at work as they are everywhere else allows us to build love in all areas of our life.
“I have always known that what makes the difference in people’s lives is the connection that is made with another human being to then reflect to them the essence of themselves which is love. We don’t readily use this word in our industry because it ‘blurs the boundaries’, gets us ‘emotionally involved’.”
This is such a great point. We are taught from a young age nowadays that “business is business”, with that come the silent rules and regulations where we must not get “too involved”, blur the boundaries between “personal and professional”, etc. However with this, we have stepped back too far and lost sight of what is important – the person; for who they are, not what they do. With that everyone, within whichever structure they belong to – work, school, family, etc, loses out on the true connection to themselves and others.
I agree Bernadette, true connection and being met is something we all crave. Serge Benhayon presents the importance of expressing love and connecting with people, he leads by example, and it is amazing to actually feel this.
Being truly met is the only way forward and by being truly met we can then meet others in the same way. We need to be taught that we are enough from an early age and that we are all equal and all equally beautiful. Even after all these years I am still coming to terms with these facts.
I cannot help but wonder if we were taught all the way through school that we are enough, all equal and complementary to one another that as adults we would not have the massive issues in our relationships, homes and workplaces we currently do because we grew up feeling complete as we are, imperfections and all. Well said kevmchardy.
I appreciate your words ‘Since my connection with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have seen and felt the true way in which others have been ‘met’ for who they truly are, connected with their ‘enough-ness’ and begun to express themselves and their lives in true service to humanity, without the word ‘love’ being silenced!’ This has been and is an important part of my own journey which you have encapsulated beautifully, thank you, Bernadette.
Carmel I love this also. Imagine if we were all connected to our ‘enough-ness’? The trying would seize and the joy would flow.
I loved reading your blog Bernadette, and thank you for sharing Michael White’s story. It is awesome, how powerful it is to be truly met ,and how this feeling remains with us even years after the event.
I would love to attend one of your workshops Bernadette. I work in mental health support and we have been going through major changes in the last few months and are now more target driven having to make so many contacts a week etc. What is clear to all of us is that it is about the quality of the connections we make and not some random figure we have to hit or explain why not and that is what I am concentrating on as I adjust to the additional demands of our new contract provider.
It is great to have this reminder that I am enough and can reflect this to all around me. I am committed to working on my connection and I too have been inspired ‘by the only person I know who truly is not afraid to say it to the world in a way that deeply challenges each individual to take responsibility for their lives in every aspect, bar none. We can make a difference. What are we afraid of?’
Thank you for this reminder that connection with another is amazing, simple and very much needed in the world. I for one feel inspired to work on building and holding my own connection so that I can bring that to another equally so. Thank you.
Thank you, Bernadette, in the world of business this is truly needed, knowing that we are enough already before we do anything. How amazing it will be when we can all truly meet each other with no emotional neediness, no attachment to an outcome, just love, pure and simple; listening to each other, not with judgement, but with true appreciation.
This is beautifully shared Carmel – “just love, pure and simple, listening to each other, not with judgement, but with true appreciation.”
I have experienced Bernadette’s workshops and love the fact that she presents that we are already enough. I tell my family, my work colleagues and clients, “you are enough”. I agree whole heartedly with the issue of love being the thing that is missing most from ourselves, our workplaces and especially the health and human services industry. Bernadette inspires me and I have taken love into my workplace, the people that I work with, including myself, love to go to work everyday.
Great Sally, I agree it is important for us and everyone to know we are already enough, and that love has been the missing ‘ingredient’. Awesome that you are taking love into your workplace, you will transform it, no wonder you all love to go to work.
I love the Michael White story. Most of us had one (or if ‘lucky’ two) such figures in our life even if for a short while, but the memory remains for ever. Again most (if not all) people if asked and answered honestly, would admit that all they ever wanted was to be met and to be loved for who they truly are, not for the good grades they brought back to mum and dad, or highly paid jobs they later achieved, or how ‘well’ they married, or number of children they had… It comes as no surprise that so many of us when introduced to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon go: Aha, that is what I have been looking for all my life!
Continue the great work Bernadette!
I remember the difference at school quite clearly – yes there people who were good at teaching, but there was one stand out teacher who saw me as a person. It has left a lasting impression.
The gift that Serge presents is that this is the starting point for us all, and then whatever we are doing (teaching, accounting, caring etc.) is incidental, but oh so much more powerful as a result.
So true Dragana, I love the way that Bernadette pinpoints with clarity what it is that we are all missing. The message is so simple and true – we are all searching outside of ourselves for that confirmation and then end up chasing achievement as a substitute for love. From the very first encounter with Serge I felt that warmth and love – I was at home at last surrounded by a family who is forever expanding as I learn to express my love.