Universal Medicine & Esoteric Breast Massage: The Effect of Sport on one Woman’s Body

by Anonymous

As a four year old girl I decided I wanted to play hockey. I wanted to be like my older brother. My Dad was proud of what he could do on a sporting field and so I wanted him to be proud of me in the same way. I was given my first hockey stick and taught the basics, then I joined a junior Minkey team.

I was pretty good at the sport so I was put onto a hockey field at the age of 5. I realised that the tougher I became, the harder I could hit the ball, the more willing I was to go in for a tackle without showing I was scared. My ability to get back up again after being taken out in a tackle without showing I was hurt was congratulated and earned me a lot of praise. I became quite good at any sport I tried. At the age of 13, I had made it into the under 18 rowing team, a few years later after trying discus for a few months, I was selected for the Pan Pacific Games for athletics and had also made it into the state school girls hockey team. I was known as the powerhouse on the hockey field and no opposing team wanted to get in the way of any ball I hit. I remember one day another girl did get hit by a ball that I’d hit and had to be carried off the field. I was devastated that I had done that to someone, even though it wasn’t intentional and I couldn’t sleep for three days. After that I knew I didn’t want to bring that level of force onto a sporting field.

As a teenager I was confused, I ridiculed the ‘girly girls’ for being pathetic but there was also part of me wishing that I could sometimes show I was hurt or cry, but I never did. I didn’t know how to be around boys because I didn’t think I was pretty enough, so I just became one of them and threw myself into sport more and earned recognition that way, but it was never enough. In my mid 20s I was very overweight despite playing lots of sport, and I also had the muscle definition of a man in some parts of my body. I was ashamed of this so and also used this as an excuse to retreat from people and relationships. I didn’t like how I felt about myself and if any guy showed an interest I would instantly reject him thinking he was either ridiculing me or there was something really wrong with him if he was willing to accept me.

When I first heard Serge Benhayon say, “you need to be more fragile with yourself”, I was outraged. It was like a red rag to a bull, I wanted to take him down, like I would someone on a hockey field. It brought up such a fury in me and I thought he was asking me to be pathetic, and I wanted to show him I was tough and could cope. I was surprised by how intense my reaction was.

It was not long after that I had my first Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM). I dragged myself through the door as I was extremely embarrassed and did not want to go, but there was a part of me that just knew it was right. In this session I was treated with a tenderness that I had never before received in my life. After this I reacted and got angry, I did not want to feel all that was coming up, the way competitive sport affects a woman’s body, the way I had been with my body for many, many years. However, I could not argue with the physical changes in my body: I had always had very irregular or light and short periods, however after the Esoteric Breast Massage it was like my body was releasing and I started to have more regular periods.

Despite how uncomfortable I was with what was coming up, I continued to have EBMs. It took a while but I eventually stopped reacting in anger to them and started to accept that underneath that, my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but had never allowed it.

Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before, even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets. My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people: I was no longer as guarded. I am still in a process of re-learning how to nurture and treat my body with tenderness and care. While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.

202 thoughts on “Universal Medicine & Esoteric Breast Massage: The Effect of Sport on one Woman’s Body

  1. Thank you Anonymous for sharing a great story, going from hardness and harshness within your body, to allowing yourself to become tender and fragile. I too was brought up to be tough, to put up with it, this was thought to be strength, when our true strength comes from tenderness and fragility.

  2. Anonymous, Thank you for sharing your story, working in a school I can see how children can become hard in sport to try and do better. With football I see the boys play in such a rough way so they can win, off the football pitch the boys can be very sweet, on the pitch there is an expectation that they do not cry and that they just bounce back up again, there is no care for themselves or each other.

  3. The Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) is a powerful modality. I was astounded when I first had them by how transformational it is to experience the exquisite tenderness and delicateness of an EBM practitioner massaging a part of the body that is usually either ignored or used to get something from. My body changed so much from having EBM’s, I went from being very overweight due to protecting myself against the world to being the very petite and delicate woman that I naturally always was.

    1. EMB massage really supported me in opening up my contraction around my chest which was very hard and tight and soften that up, allowing me to feel more freer and open.

  4. Anonymous thankyou, I have felt very supported by your story again today. What you have shared has helped me understand that the anger I feel at times may be me not able to accept the fragile person I truly am, or not coping with the way life is and the fragility that’s hidden underneath the tough hard defensiveness. I can also feel I may be carrying the same judgements or beliefs about women being weak in fragility and delicateness.

  5. It is astounding how many women, myself included drifted so far from our natural tenderness. I have uncovered quite a deep sadness because of this drifting.

  6. When I look back on the sports I used to be involved in, my body had to go into hardness to partake in them. And then, the continuing of them was like a reinforcement. Now when I exercise, there are some movement and ways of exercising that lock my body into hardness. When we reinforce and lock our bodies in this way, it is no wonder we react to the thought or mention of fragility or tenderness.

  7. I was never much into sport but I did do hard physical work and did it in the same way as you anonymous, pushing and hardening myself to prove myself and to be accepted. This did not work and just incurred massive damage to my body. The EBM and all the Universal Medicine modalities have given me my body and my life back. I now celebrate my delicateness as through that I can now feel again, everything, and though this is challenging at times, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  8. What strikes me most when reading your experience is how you knew being fragile with yourself was a truth and that the way you were cared for in the Esoteric Breast Massage treatments was something you deserved, as you kept coming back regardless the resistance/fury you could also feel coming up.

    1. Esther that was one of the things that kept bringing me back to EBM was the that I deserved and that being with myself was a form of truth which I had shut down and become hard. So for me was to break down this hardness and reconnect to my fragility.

      1. Yes, in this is the beauty about the Esoteric Healing Modalities, space is offered to simply feel ourselves, to connect back to the truth we know deep within but haven’t lived.

  9. This is a beautiful and powerful testimony to Esoteric Breast Massage Anonymous. Our bodies are the scientific proof to how effective these sessions are and this cannot be denied. I too found an enormous transformation in myself that I could not deny even though it was not as obvious as your weight loss; it was a reconfiguring of myself as a woman first and foremost where I had unknowingly identified myself almost solely as a mother for over 30 years

  10. It is amazing to realise that our bodies store up energetic imprints from how we live, move, think and the choices we make. They become a map of our lives – but thankfully, that map can be healed and with the right support, we can redirect our lives to rediscover the innate wisdom there is within us all.

  11. It is hard to imagine a beautiful, tender and sensitive 5-year-old girl playing hockey!. The things we do just to be recognized by our parents, whether that is to play sport, bury ourselves in academia, rebel, be the “good” child etc when all we are craving is to be seen for who we are. As adults, we have a responsibility to show our young people that they can be seen and met for who they are and not what they do so that they can grow up and remain the tender, sweet and sensitive beings that they are.

  12. I just joined a gym and find it very interesting how much we believe we need to push ourselves and achieve some kind of body shape and what kind of strain is needed for that. Hardly anybody exercises for the joy of supporting their health and their body treating it tenderly even whilst exercising, except maybe some of the elderly or people that recover from injuries.

  13. And that is the beauty of being living proof… you can’t argue with the changes you witness in yourself, especially when they are as profound as what you have experienced. The transformations that people have had are powerful testaments to the true healing that the Universal Medicine modalities offer

  14. Of course I have never experienced an EBM but the effect of just one EBM session on you was clearly huge and profound. Awesome that you overcame your reactions to continue with sessions and clearly you are a very different person as in who you really are compared to the super tough aggressive sports star.

  15. This story highlights the inner conflict that must affect virtually all teens, the need to conform to a certain way of behaving as a coping mechanism for life. Boys must act tougher, girls must be “girly”, no-one is ever given permission to just be who they are. It is this confusion and restricting that makes growing up such a pressure cooker for so many young people, and perhaps one of the reasons why cutting has become such a used relief from that pressure.

  16. Amazing story. Thank you, Anonymous. I particularly liked how you didn’t want to have Esoteric Breast Massage but you went to have it, honouring a part of you that knew it to be true. It just goes to show no matter that our true essence never gets lost and we always know when truth comes to our way.

  17. Beautiful to read Anonymous about the amazing changes that you have made to your life and how that has shown in your body, Esoteric Breast Massages are a very delicate and powerful modality connecting us back to our natural tenderness and fragility as a woman.

  18. I absolutely loved reading this. A palpable transformation showing that tenderness and delicateness are always just beneath the surface of the hard exterior so very many of us have created as the face and body we present to the world.

  19. Anonymous, it is beautiful to read of your transformation from the hardness you built up in your body, to how you are now letting that go and are replacing it with your gentleness and tenderness.

  20. It is amazing what we ‘do’ to protect ourselves. Sport being one of those choices to keep us hard and motivated in life to not feel our fragility and accept who we are.

    1. Sport is an excuse many people use not realising they are using it to harden themselves up from truly connecting to what they are feeling. I use some sports to do the same.

  21. As sports spectators we cheer those who hold such an extraordinary capacity to perform driven by the profound level of trauma they hold in their bodies. With our cheering we celebrate their traumas.

  22. Having just seen a horrific televised boxing match between two women champion fighters – it is apparent the world has become so desensitised to violence that it was seen as an exciting thing rather than just senseless brutality – imagine a woman with a newborn baby, and that same woman beating the brains out of another woman – it doesn’t fit, and no different for men either.. it is time we take stock and recognise just how badly things have gone awry.

  23. Even if the world has deluded itself into thinking that tough competitive sports are fine for girls and women to do, the female body is telling a different story – no coincidence that there is an unprecedented rise of endometriosis, fibroids, infertility and so many other conditions that women are now suffering. It is not just sport, which is just one consequence of the way women feel that have to be to survive in a world that does not honour the natural tenderness and nurturing we can live as our true way.

  24. I lived a very protected way did not want to get hurt, so lived as I could cope and in order for that became very hard. I have more recently started to work on tenderness, which is an on going process and layers are releasing from my body. My lower arms are a lot more softer but there is more work to bring tenderness and fragility.

  25. Agreed Anonymous – our body is the most incredible and reliable, living science laboratory available to man. To fully appreciated its innate wisdom and learn from what it constantly shows us, is the return path to true wellbeing. The Ancient Wisdom Teachings as Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine presents are the gateway to this return.
    “While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities”.

  26. Having an Esoteric Breast Massage allows me to feel and appreciate the strength that is within my body as a delicate and precious woman.

    1. I can relate to that Marry, I was able to connect to a deeper strength within my body which I did not even know I had, but what it also allowed was that the external body my physical became softer and tender and delicate. The power was coming from my delicateness.

  27. Both men and women are naturally tender and gentle to play any sort of sport; we have to harden and toughen up, I know I did for many years as well and it took quite awhile for my body to release this deep tension and masculine energy I had taken on in my body. We are blessed to have modalities such as the very powerful Esoteric Breast Massage that allows the space and grace for us to reconnect back to our tenderness and delicateness once again.

  28. How many children (or adults!) do this .. play sports or are competitive so they are recognised by parents or professionals to feel they are worth something. I would say quite a lot! Seeking love outside of ourselves, rather than within, and not honouring how we truly feel never works… no matter how much we want it to! Love Serge he will always say the truth to help another even if he gets the brunt of anger or frustration hurled at him! Now that is true love. And this is pretty amazing that from having a few EBMs what you tried to change in years happened naturally and easily – ‘Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before, even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets. My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people: I was no longer as guarded.’ Amazing 😍

  29. A great sharing, how much easier it was to go into hardness and protection as we grew up rather than stay connected to our fragility and tenderness. It is lovely to be returning back to this.

    1. As a child we go into protection and hardness as thats the only way we know how to survive unless we had true role models, in our lives. I know I grew up around people where there was constant protection and hardness to just survive and make a living.

  30. The honesty shared here is a clear understanding as to why many, even after injury, or at times with injury continue with activities such as sport, exercise, horse riding, motorbike riding etc. And how it can be impossible to see life with out these activities, or to feel we are less if we can no longer do them. To bring this understanding to another and offer the beauty of grace is a powerful gift to reinstating worth amongst humanity.

  31. To allow ourselves to live with tenderness and loving with ourselves is a gift we can give ourselves. It is a most beautiful way to live and be with ourselves.

  32. I remember playing hockey at school and I thought it was dangerous at first and didn’t want to play. I felt how hard my arms had to be to hit the ball but in time I just did it because they needed a good player and I seemed to fit the bill for them. It is impossible for the body to be tender when we engage in a lot of sport. Sport is the complete opposite of tenderness.

  33. I reckon sport does much damage to male bodies as well, I know of so many people that are carrying for their lifetime an injury that they incurred whilst playing sport and the worst part about it is that they seem to think that it was worth a lifetime of pain and restriction of movement.

  34. The impacts of sport on the womans body I don’t feel is actually acknowledged or recognised as yet. Or even going to the gym for that matter. We champion the svelt and very cut style of body shape these days, yet really it is so unfeminine. It is very masculine looking and that is exactly the energy women go into when aiming, striving and desperately work themselves to the bone at the gym to get that look. Not so appealing to me.

  35. I love your honesty, and interesting how Serge’s suggestion caused such a reaction in you, ‘ “you need to be more fragile with yourself”, I was outraged. It was like a red rag to a bull, I wanted to take him down, like I would someone on a hockey field. It brought up such a fury in me and I thought he was asking me to be pathetic, and I wanted to show him I was tough and could cope. I was surprised by how intense my reaction was.’

  36. The care and tenderness that can be received in an Esoteric Breast Massage is incredible to encounter, it shifted a lot of hardness and protection in my body that has not returned. I feel more womanly, gentle and powerful and this is growing.

  37. As much as science ridicules qualitative research, the truth is that testimonials such as these form the basis that lead one to question life, from which a hypothesis is formed that then potentially leads to the type of research that science accepts. This is the issue I take with the way science is headed at the moment, in that it asks the world to only explore and live according to what has been proven. Personally, I would rather the world live on the edge a little more of the unknown, and sure, many mistakes will be made as a result, and many theories arise that are false, but at least it creates a world of ideas and potential hypothesis and thus the fertile ground for true exploration. After all, one never discovers much if one continues to walk down the same road as everyone else.

  38. I had to laugh anonymous when it was suggested you be more fragile with yourself and it was like raising a red flag to a bull – when we are exposed for something we know in our hearts is true we often react emotionally when instead we should simply see it as an opportunity to change.

  39. My parents got me into hockey because they thought it was a safe sport – quite hilarious looking back, but I understand their good intentions, trying as they were to steer me away from more dangerous sports like rugby. But at the end of the day, it is not just the physical damage that is the problem with sport. It is the type of being it creates, and the separation between individuals that it fosters by way of competition.

  40. I know what you mean when you write that you were equating fragility with being pathetic; this is far from the truth of course but it has to be felt in the body first before we can recognise that there is strength in fragility.

  41. What we do to ourselves in the name of protection is extraordinary as we hurt ourselves and damage our bodies in a way that creates more pain and suffering than could ever come from feeling, in the moment, the reactions from others and the feelings this brings up in us, we are protecting our self against in the first place.

  42. This is very significant, “Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before, even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets. My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people: I was no longer as guarded.” I don’t mean loosing the “30 kilos” alone either, I mean the fact the focus or dedication was to loosing weight or changing the body shape etc but it became about more personally how you were interacting within the world, “I was no longer guarded”, it sounds like the weight was a physical outplay of what you were doing inside. It’s amazing the huge changes that can come when you bring awareness to the inside and bring that out rather then trying to change the outside to hide the in. It would seem clear that everything we ever need to know lays within us and if we can’t see that yet it merely means that it is time to take more care.

  43. We need to pay more heed to the evidence before our eyes. It doesn’t have to be a double blind placebo controlled experiment to present something that is of truth for consideration.

  44. As we start to treat ourselves with more care and love sometimes the feelings that come with this are intense, as we feel everything that we’ve previously been denying ourselves. Thanks for sharing your experiences, anonymous.

    1. I agree Bryony and along with these intense feelings of discomfort there can also be a corresponding letting go of our old ways to make way for the new love and care that is far more nourishing and supportive for our bodies and daily life.

    2. Bryony I agree alot gets shown to us when we start to allow our self more love and care. We feel more and become alot more sensitive to our suroundings.

  45. Sometimes we do not know what we are missing until we find it! When I had my first Esoteric Breast Massage I realized that I was missing myself but would not have been able to tell you that before I had them. This modality has allowed me to deeply connect with myself as a woman and open myself up to the world again.

  46. Thank you Anonymous for an awesome testimony. As a man I have not of course experienced an EBM – but I have experienced many other esoteric healing and bodywork techniques. I have no doubt about their power at all and hence can fully appreciate what you share here too.

  47. I wonder how many of us ‘sell out’ who we are for the lure of pleasing another – often a parent – and to get something that is apparently of value like our father being proud of us. Yet it seems to me, this is the start of a rocky road where we are discontent with ourselves and disconnected from our true expression of self. I certainly did it and can remember the moment it happened. How wonderful it would be to be honoured for who we are and to honour ourselves for who we are rather than what we do. Life might look very different if this were the case.

  48. This blog reminds me of how I had lived my life growing up wanting to please my dad and hiding my fragility with hard core sports of any kind.

    My anger was like a volcano ready to erupt at any given moment.

    Since Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine workshops and having sessions with practitioners the anger is dissipating. All along I carried so much sadness from being away from myself it was coated with anger.

    Slowly the real me is coming through more and more and my body hurts if I even attempt to become anger, it is now more unnatural to have anger around me – what a transformation no other modality has ever healed this.

    1. No other modality has allowed me to feel and recognise the harm in my body from being so aggressive playing sport. I think back to how I was, and it was like I become a completely different person and didn’t care who got in my way but would feel awful and gutted after a game by how I acted. It’s great to know this isn’t who I really am.

  49. I can really relate to not wanting to be weak or pathetic. I reacted when shown tenderness and love and the hardness I still treat myself is quite horrid at times but what’s lovely is accepting how sensitive and delicate I actually am. I’m starting to appreciate I have a loving touch I can bring to life and myself. There are still remnants of thinking this way of being will get squashed and pushed over but the more I connect to this other way the more I get a real sense of its power and strength.

  50. What you share is very appreciated, there is so much offered here in the way we react when the truth is offered that we have denied ourselves of. Offering ourselves permission to feel and appreciate how innately tender we are is something for men and women alike.

  51. Wow, that’s amazing. I can appreciate why you would have reacted so strongly. I can also understand how easy it is to want to be equal to boys growing up…I did the same thing to a lesser degree, but ultimately I didn’t want to be seen as weak or pathetic. i’ve learnt now though, since attending courses and workshops presented by Universal Medicine, that being a woman isn’t a weakness at all, and in fact quite the opposite. Pretending to be something we are not, is actually letting us and everyone else around us down.

  52. This article shows just how intensely sport is held on to, so much so that when a truth is presented that such anger can and does rise. This to me then shows the miracle that was experienced here that one so taken by sport could allow her body to show how false it was and to surrender to the possibility that what her body was sharing had value.

  53. I know the wanting to please another and to not appear to be in any way unable to deal with life. I lived this for much of my life. What happened for me though is the more I hardened myself against my life that I was totally unable to accept another’s love and support. My hardened exterior simply made it impossible for me to share how I was truly feeling, as I had to uphold the sharade I had created.

  54. Thank you for sharing . Its very sad that your parents were not willing to see the beautiful 4 year old girl and also their beautiful son . Its amazing in simple terms why we have violence thats called ” sport “.

  55. I went out with a hockey girl a few years back, she was a lovely girl and she had a scar from where her checkbone had been fractured by the ball, it is a seriously tough sport. And yet our approach to this is to celebrate the hardness, it earns respect, kudos, so called rewards of recognition. What if instead we respected and gave kudos for being tender with ourselves and our children, then that would be something to really celebrate. Thank you for sharing your transformative change, it is incredible to read of such a big change and how much it challenged you.

  56. It’s pretty interesting how a girl as young as four can decide to hang her identity (and quest for recognition) on something so outside her natural self. It’s a testimony to the power of the human spirit, ever-hungry for that recognition and very adult in its intent.

  57. Your blog reminded me that I played hockey a few times as a child and the memory came with an OUCH and being hit on the shins with that stick – not fun. Why would we do that to our beautiful bodies?

    1. sure Julie, actually we all know it but have to become aware of what is truly happening by this hardening of the body through sport or any other working hard at the expense of the delicacy, fragility and grace that is naturally there in the body of every women. We should stop with championing women behaving like that and return to the natural state of being where we are in appreciation of what each gender hold in their body as a natural and o so needed quality to life.

  58. Women are blessed with the availability of EBM as a modality to let the body experience once again the true nature of a women: the fragility, delicacy and grace that is held in it as this will never be not there whatever women have done to their body like Anonymous in this blog.

  59. What a beautiful transformation you have had anonymous with the support of Universal medicines healing modalities. For when we let go of our own armour and feel the delicacy and fragility within, it allows others to be inspired to feel and be that too.

  60. Coming back to my fragility equals to coming back to me, as when I listen what I feel and honour it, I feel at home.

  61. There will be reactions in our life and there will be emotions but the main thing is to stay with what we feel deep down underneath and never waiver from it.

  62. If we are willing to look beneath the hard exterior we have built around us, we would find an exquisitely beautiful, tender, delicate, fragile and incredibly powerful being.

  63. I could relate to this Anonymous, the part that affected me the most and took longer to heal from playing competitive sport was the aggression and competitiveness. Yes, I also had the physical hardness from throwing my body around a court and sports field but the push to win and not let the team down smashed me even more. There wasn’t anyone around me asking do I really like doing this or you don’t have to play sport… it was something that was encouraged. Allowing ourselves to fragile, vulnerable and precious is our real power.

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