by Anne Mallat
I used to love eating cake for breakfast.
When I was younger, I would save a piece of my birthday cake and eat it the next morning. It was the best part of my birthday. Really!
When I was older, it became cake and coffee. I would skip breakfast and go straight to morning tea. It was my favourite meal of the day.
I came to realise I was using food.
I was using food to pick me up in the mornings, to fuel me through the day, to reward myself at night for a hard day’s work. I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.
Once I came to realise this, I allowed myself to feel what each food was actually doing to me. It took me quite a while to go from each awareness to giving things up, to letting things go, but I have always been stubborn!
Gluten was the first to go. It made me feel heavy and tired, it bloated me, upset my stomach, made me sleepy after lunch. If I ate it, I needed more coffee, and then I needed more sugar. This was a fattening merry-go-round!
I really did not want to look at dairy. I loved dairy, especially cheese and cream. But it clogged my sinuses and ears and made mucus in my chest. It also comforted my sadness from childhood, and that was hard to face without it.
To give up dairy, I had to give up coffee. To give up coffee, I had to realise how exhausted I was. I had to look at how I lived my life, and how I ran my body. I had to learn to be more gentle with myself, to go to bed earlier, to live in a rhythm that suited me.
I still struggle with sugar. I love sweet things, and while I no longer eat pavlova, I still enjoy the fruit! Sugar picks me up, but it makes me feel racy, and runs my body in a rhythm that has me craving more. A treat is a treat, in whatever form, and now if I crave something, I see it as an opportunity to find out why. Am I tired, am I feeling sad, am I looking for a reward? Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.
What I have learned is that food and drink matter. Everything matters. What we use to fuel ourselves affects the way our body runs. We can nourish our bodies, giving them food and drink that suit them and sustain them, or we can run them recklessly, fuelling them with whatever is easy and tasty to get through the day, and see what happens.
I am continually amazed, at how amazing my body feels, and how great I feel, when I eat and sleep in a way that cares for me.
Anne I didn’t have ‘cake’ for breakfast but it was disguised in something else, cereals or sweet condiments I often had with toast. So in some respect it’s the same same.
I agree sometimes we need to take a deep dive into what we eat, how we eat, what we put into our bodies including emotions. But start with something simple, and I loved how you examined each item you consumed and then its affects afterwards on the body. I too do this but override what I observe, a perpetual cycle. However, what I love is the fact that I love this realisation and I respond even though it is far from perfect. I would much rather live this way than my past ways of living…
I used to have a chocolate addiction, so badly that I would drive in my pajamas to the closest fueling station in the evenings to get a bar of chocolate so that I could go to bed and sleep after having my chocolate fix. Then one day after a series of Esoteric Healing sessions I felt so clear and amazing in myself, I did not feel like chocolate, but since my whole family was sitting around having swiss chocolates at Easter, I wanted to belong so I joined them and had 2 small pieces. I could instantly feel the effect in my body and it felt like I had put my fingers in an electric socket in the wall. The buzz was so loud so noisy in my body I was sure everyone else could hear it too! This lasted for 48 hours then gradually went away. I had finally allowed myself to feel what chocolate does to the body. After that experience I never ever felt like having chocolate again. An addiction does not end when one stops the substance, it ends when one no longer feels like having it.
Henrietta I recall having that fuzzy feeling after attending a party. There was no alcohol but someone made a slice. It had everything my taste buds loved but my body hated. It was like a hangover that lasted more then 48 hours and to be honest, the taste buds weren’t worth what I had to nurse the next few days.
If we start the day with some sugar we already impact the nervous system and ask it to go into a buzz and not feel. It is a sure-fire way to not feel what is coming in the day and hence to not really be ready and steady to handle what comes our way. It is not uncommon for many of us to do this, and yet if we look at what it does and how it affects us this does not make sense!
Such a simple and awesome sharing Anne – there is a simple yet powerful truth in the fact that what we eat affects how we feel.
Every experience is communicating something to us about how we are living and why. Connecting to my body has opened up a vast realm of understanding life that I cannot access by mentally micro-analysing everything.
It’s amazing how our life can change just by observing how food affects us. The more honest we are,the less we can hide the harm some food or drinks have in our body. And from that honesty, it’s easier to make the choice to give up what is not supportive for us.
Honesty is our draw card to making changes.
Food is such a treat until we reconnect back to our essence, then we feel how amazing it is to live connected to ourselves…. no food is greater than that, and eating becomes a way to support the connection to the precious love we are.
I love your honesty Anne and willingness to explore why you were eating certain foods. The end result by listening to, and honouring your body, is well worth the new choices, ‘I am continually amazed, at how amazing my body feels, and how great I feel, when I eat and sleep in a way that cares for me.’
“Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.” This is a loving way to be with ourselves, to offer ourselves understanding to learn from our choices, which I find helps me to develop compassion and understanding for others also.
This is a great blog to read as most of us do not consider what we eat we just eat anything that is handy and near by. I can remember going to a party that I didn’t want to be at, among people I didn’t know and I sat by myself and ate all the blue cheese that was on the table, by the time people came to eat the food prepared there was no blue cheese left! And guess what everyone wanted the blue cheese!
I definitely used the cheese as a comfort food to quell the loneliness I was feeling.
Ha Ha Mary, this is hilarious on the one hand, and yet so exposing and raw on the other hand knowing that there was such a feeling of being vulnerable not belonging that drove you to make a choice that was not supportive or loving for your body.
The choice of food is also the choice of what we choose to feed.
What a lovely honest blog thank you and it is amazing what can happen when we become more honest with our bodies and what they are sharing with us.
The honesty we can bring in about why we are eating what we are eating is a great place to start. That way we can bring much more lasting understanding to our relationship with food.
Food is a constant refinement and a constant marker of how we are travelling through our day and whether we are willing or not willing to look at what is coming up for us.
Great blog Anne, it made me realise how we can either fuel ourselves up waiting to crash and burn out or take responsibility and choose foods that support us with a steady flow, rather than the ups and downs sugar gives us.
Food is a great feeder of dishonesty.
We can’t escape the truth of our bodies and when we begin to be honest with what our bodies are telling us, we then begin to develop a relationship with a guide that knows precisely what foods support us to live with the vitality of our true potential.
There is a very deep offering in honouring our body. One that brings forth awareness and understanding. Eating foods that doesn’t support us, but fills our bodies with numbness makes it difficult to live with the awareness we all naturally have.
How we run our bodies, that jumped out at me today, for that’s the crux of it, how do we run our bodies? And how willing are we to address what works and what doesn’t? Your simple suggestion to see any craving etc. as a moment to consider what is going on is great … it brings us back to the possibility of understanding there is so much more going on, and to stop and consider how do I feel right now?
When we stop and appreciate that the quality of food we eat is the equivalent of the quality of fuel we nourish our body with, it puts fresh new eyes on the concept of what constitutes a healthy diet.
“the quality of food we eat is the equivalent of the quality of fuel we nourish our body with”, I love this, so brought to the point and a very simple equation that we only need to look at to understand where and why our health is as it is .
Yes actually observing what is happening in our bodies and clocking that is our best reference to what is a healthy diet for each person and this is far more powerful and effective in my experience than relying on information from outside to tell us what is or is not a so called ‘healthy diet’.
There are times when I can so crave a particular food or drink and then after doing a Universal Medicine course or workshop and spending time connecting to what is being shared and to myself, those things are just a non event, they have absolutely no pull on me. It shows that we must not be in our fullness when we make decisions based on cravings.
Ok – no coincidence. I had cake for breakfast this morning and now I’ve found two blogs where you mention it! I forgot about my cake as soon as I ate it but now I’m inspired to feel the reasons for my choice. Thank you Anne.
ha ha I love that! There are no accidents and this blog is sharing just that. We can let something go and gloss over it but somewhere we will get an opportunity to see the reflection and our body will offer us a moment for pause to consider not just the what, but the why. This deeper questioning offers us the understanding we need to deal with the behaviour that caps our deeper connection with our soul.
When I realise I am thinking I need a treat it prompts me to ask myself why I am feeling less than the natural beauty of who I am.
What you share here Anne I can relate to having done, and I would say this is pretty much endemic in society, if people were to address these issues what a change it could make to their eating habits, ‘I was using food to pick me up in the mornings, to fuel me through the day, to reward myself at night for a hard day’s work. I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.’
There are lots of foods that I used to eat without even fluttering an eyelid that I would not touch now for anything. I’ve felt incredible changes in my body from giving these foods away… but there are other foods that are time to let go of now. It’s an ever-refining process and one that is very clear when I listen to my body.
Like you Anne I too liked my cake not necessarily for breakfast but certainly throughout my day. These days what I love for break-fast is a delicious plate of home made (dairy/gluten/sugar free) soup, which warms me up inside no end and feels very light and nourishing in the morning. Actually just going to have some after this comment!
It really is very simple if we listen to the body it tells us exactly what works for us and it becomes obvious what doesn’t work.
“I am continually amazed, at how amazing my body feels, and how great I feel, when I eat and sleep in a way that cares for me.” Me too!
Our head and our body can sometimes be moving in totally opposite directions- our body would be saying no way to a certain food and our head would be telling us why we need to eat it- clear which one leads us back to greater love.
‘I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness’. Who can put their hand up and say they have not used food in this manner for food is so easily available in large quantities everywhere you go….we over-eat, we eat in a rush, we eat the wrong foods, we eat too late in the evening, we listen to ‘so called experts’ what to eat instead of listenting our own bodies and all this our bodies have to cope with… Is it little wonder that illness and disease rates are sky-rocketing which is the aftermath of our indulgence and lack of care and senstivity to feel what truly nourishes our body.
Being responsible is taking every opportunity to feel into what the body is registering, and not look at what has been chosen but what can be chosen. “I am continually amazed, at how amazing my body feels, and how great I feel, when I eat and sleep in a way that cares for me.”
” Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.”
This sentence is the bit we miss when it comes to not only food choices, but to generally living our lives. How we do that is in constant need of understanding, acceptance and adjustment, if we really want to consider our bodies and how they are truly feeling.
Just reading this, my thoughts have turned to cake and where I can get some! My body is saying otherwise and hates the idea of being clogged, bloated and raced-up from the sugar hit. Learning to make decisions from my body is a win win situation.
I find I need to be super diligent with staying with what my body feels at work or in family gatherings when there is lots of sweets and treats being shared around…because there is often a part of me that, even though I have no desire at all to eat the same treats, thinks I’m missing out… and then turn to indulging more in my own food that I’ve brought.
I’m with you Rachel. I actually did eat cake this morning – I called it healthy breakfast cake but it still left me feeling heavy and dull. Our bodies always tell us what they really want.
I love how you invite us to look behind the scenes, to look at why we ‘love’ something, what is in it for us to have this something in our life and how it is actually possible to address what is behind it so that we do not longer need this crutch in our life.
I agree Esther and this offers a great example for us to explore and understand what is behind the quality of life we are living and as such giving us the insight of how to, or what is needed, to change it.
Yes, it all starts with the quality, how we are with ourselves and others.
Anne I really loved how succinctly you illustrated how gluten, dairy and sugar affects your body and how you connected the associated emotion that fed your cravings for that particular food.
‘I am continually amazed, at how amazing my body feels, and how great I feel, when I eat and sleep in a way that cares for me’. I have the exact same experience and I have so much more energy and also my old pattern of going into reaction is just dropping away…..
Yes, the body is very clear, very blunt and this should be seen as a great gift not a pressure or weight. Sometimes I forget to appreciate my body for loving me as much as it does so thank you for giving that moment here 🙂
It is interesting how out of sync we can be with our body, to an extent where we do not even care what we put into it as long as our taste buds are pleased. It is a downward spiral, the less we care for the body the more disconnected we become.
I admire the absolute dedication you have in getting honest about what you eat…. a commitment that you can’t but benefit from for recognising that to crave something is an opportunity to learn something about yourself that you are wanting to bury with food, is the first step to being able to address it.
The thing is that I enjoy certain things but I sure do not enjoy how I feel after eating certain things therefore certain things have had to leave my palette of foods.
There is so much responsibility in stating that food and drink matter. Every single choice we make either heals or harms us. This is an absolute fact. It’s not easy to accept this though, because accepting this means that we need to look at all the choices we’ve made that have harmed us in ways we never want to admit. Good on you for going there Anne. It’s inspiring.
I mean, who doesn’t want to eat cake for breakfast…sounds like a good plan to me, albeit one that will absolutely end in tears at some point, because the truth of why we seek comfort in it will one day have to surface, it’s inevitable.
I am being honest I was eating cake for breakfast nearly every morning at work at one stage, it was my way of dealing or should I say not dealing with what was going on for me, I, like you Anne was using food. “I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.”
The cakes cabinet nearly has no power over me but there are a few items that still haunt me and feel like they are calling my name, I look forward to the day I am free completely.
I am noticing from the symptoms in my body that there is always something to look at like everything else in my relationship with food. It is a constant refining of my food choices, the quantity of food and the quality with which I eat as to where I am at. At the moment I am experiencing some bloating in my tummy which needs some loving attention.
I have been irresponsible with food over the years and used it for comfort and energy with no consideration to nourishing and supporting my body and mind. This blog is a great reminder to appreciate and celebrate the responsibility I now take in caring for my body to be a vessel of true expression.
Food, as so many things in life, can become a ‘normal’ habit, something that we just do, but with bringing a bit more attention to our daily rituals and observing how we are with them and how we feel allows for so much more to be seen and discovered.
This is a great guideline how to become aware and look into what food is for us and what it does with/to us. I love how you look at food in a scientific way including your wellbeing and body in the whole process.
Anne I was also a person who had cake for breakfast and your amazing blog reminds me on that. As you I gave up on sugar, gluten and dairy and the only thing I can say is that it was the best choices ever than since I gave them up I have no asthma anymore – it was the best medicine ever!
Much to my re-discovery.
Every bite has an intention behind it.
I certainly relate to the word ‘stubborn’. When I first heard Serge Benhayon presenting on the effect different foods can have on the human body I was intrigued and decided to give it a go at changing what I ate. While I saw this as denying myself it was hard work and felt like a struggle but when I changed how I approached it and chose to eat food and drink what felt supportive in my body and not just ‘filling it up’ it was completely different and my body is clearly saying ‘thank you’.
Great point Kristy, water can eliminate many cravings, because most people are dehydrated and confuse being hungry when actually they are thirsty so for me I simply reach for the water first.
“Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.” Love these lines <3. I can so relate and agree entirely with its philosophy.
Thank you Anne, lovely blog. It’s amazing how we use food as a reward to feel better or to pick us up when we are down. Now I am much more discerning about what I eat and feel much better, not only physically, but inwardly too.
Food and drink do indeed matter – affecting everything about us. What is so insidious is that we can trick ourselves into believing we’re eating healthily – having given up all the so-called ‘bad’ stuff – when in fact we’re still eating in a way that is about numbing, distracting, burying, rewarding and all the rest. So nothing has changed except the substance we’re now ‘using’. Once we realise this fact, there’s nowhere to go except to dig deeper into what’s really playing out and what we’re truly hungry for.
Thank you Anne, I love this… “Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.” I will make more of a point of seeing food as my medicine and seeing it as a wonderful gift.
Yes Anne, I know now deep down that “everything matters”. Not just the food we use to fuel our body but also the thoughts and actions we experience at every moment of every day. A simple joyful hello to a colleague in the morning can make a lot of difference to this person’s day and to mine.
“Everything matters”. The word ‘everything’ is just that …….everything. Understanding and living these two words is something I have not really wanted to accept as true as they also equate to being and living responsibly. It means that when I slouch in a chair it matters, when I leave a chore unattended to it matters, when I do something just to get it done it matters. Since everything matters it means every choice in each moment matters.
It is a constant checking, the deeper we go the more refined our choices and the more subtle our idea of treats becomes. For a while there I felt I had done enough. Ha ha. Yet the more I feel of that long shadow of using food, the more I feel to refine my diet. Each time the lightness that comes is a reward of its own.
I smiled when I read your description of the cake and then coffee merry-go-round way of eating you were on, as that was me too. What we eat and drink does indeed matter, and I really feel the ill-effects when I get caught in this cycle.
‘ I am being seduced by my sense of taste to override what my body needs.’ This is such a great line Emma as it exposes much about food and why we go for the tasty options. It feels like a distraction to me, from whatever our bodies are feeling and asking us to be part of.
This is something I find for me is a constant work in progress – feeling whether my body truly needs food for nourishment or whether I am filling it with food in order to avoid feeling tired, upset, overwhelmed etc. .. I’m finding that it’s not just ‘what’ I choose to eat but ‘how much’ and the quality in which I’m eating…
I could write a similar blog Anne. My diet is amazing now having let go of so much, yet it is a daily process of checking whether my food choices are truly sustaining and nourishing my body or if I am being seduced by my sense of taste to override what my body needs. I have always had treats in my life and it is the hardest one to let go of, but as you say, an opportunity to stop and find out why.
Eating to nourish or eating to fill an emptiness of some sort is a constant commitment to oneself. Very often I know my body does not need anything but I will crave some fruit, it may be just one piece and I feel better. It is probably better to eat the fruit rather than use discipline to not have it but it would be so worth while if I made a choice to reflect and feel my choices to get to the root as to why I feel the need for it in the first place.
Great blog. ”I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.” – this is absolutely true and I still catch myself eating (although it is becoming less) to not feel especially after I have been in the company of other people… I am always reminding myself to feel no matter what.
I’ve found that once I’ve dealt with the ‘need for the fix’ from certain food, eating becomes really simple and enjoyable.
It’s so interesting to feel into our choices and discover old patterns that do not work for us. It never occurred to me in the not so distant past, that the food choices I made affected the way I felt. That seems crazy, now that I notice how joyful I feel when I am caring for myself. Once you realise you never want to go back to that old way of living.
I too have eaten food without giving it a second thought, even at breakfast enjoying something and then leaving my body to cope with having to digest it, and manage the overloading of sugar. My day may have started on a high, but it would not be long before I would be on the down, and then craving more sugar to get my exhausted body through the day.
A great look at food and how we can use and abuse it to not feel what is really going on for us – I know I’ve done the same on many occasions. Thank you for sharing Anne.
Hi Anne, I could so relate to what you have shared here as it reflects my own relationship with food. I still find I use food to dull me and not feel what is truly going on, but what I can see from what you have shared is that it is about developing a true relationship with ourselves. Food can either heal or harm, the choice is ours.
This is great Anne – it’s true, everything we put into our bodies does matter, it is a great responsibility and choice that we make each and every time we eat. Thank you for sharing.
Yes every experience is indeed an opportunity to go deeper and learn about ourselves.
I have discovered that I have often ‘checked out’ while I am eating. As in, it is one of the areas/activities that I simply have not wanted to feel in full, so I find it a challenge to be consciously present while I eat…often finding my mind wandering to other things, or literally, using my body for other things simultaneously such as going on the computer etc. Definitely a work in progress for me. Thanks for Sharing!
I totally agree Anne Mallat that there is a big difference between eating for the health of the body and eating for the satisfaction of the mouth/mind. Once I realised this fact and changed my eating habits accordingly my health and well being improved dramatically also.
I woke up this morning with a very sore body. Reading your blog, what just came to me is that the pain I am feeling in my body is not the result of how heavy the suitcase I was dragging yesterday was or any other physical task I carried out in the last few days, but it is the pain of not choosing to honour my body. Thank you, Anne.
An awesome sharing Anne, and a deeply honest one. Having gone through my own ‘variations of the same’, I am struck by how utterly exhausting it all was – and how the seeming ‘pick up’ (the short black coffee, the neenish tart…) truly didn’t ‘alter’ anything, other than the raciness in my body, and the feeling that the treadmill I was on got a bit faster…
Phew. And then wow, as to welcoming true change and listening to my body, as to what underneath, it was craving all along – true and loving care.
Feeling so consistently amazing now, there is NO WAY I could ever go back to the choices I used to make, daily. Some people do find it hard to understand that they could hold the finest quality dark chocolate under my nose and not one cell of me is tempted. But such are the amazing transformations that are possible when we do embark on such a way of truly honouring ourselves as you’ve described, most particularly with the enormity of support from the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and the healing modalities that have so deeply supported my body to let go of the old exhaustion, and embrace my true vitality, along the way.
My specialist doctor just told me by the way – looking at an extensive blood testing analysis – that at 46 years of age, I’m really living in a 35 year old body, as I result of how I look after myself. I would say that is pretty darn amazing, but in truth, where my ’46’ is at, could really be the new norm. 🙂
Also, Anne… what you write about using deserts to sweeten the sadness. I can so relate — I have always loved sweets. I used to be obsessed with them. But what I’m noticing now, is that when I let myself feel the deliciousness and sweetness from within me, and then share this with others, there is no need for sweets. It’s as if the sugar was needed to replace a sweetness I knew but was missing.
Thank you Anne, for another gorgeous blog. I have also been seeing more and more the amazing difference in how I will feel if I approach food with the intention of deeply nourishing and sustaining my body, versus stuffing my face with feel that tastes good in the mouth but leaves me feeling heavy, racy or dulled down afterwards. We can have an amazing relationship with food when we choose to care for ourselves, and ironically what I do eat now just keeps tasting better and better.
Thank you Anne for a great blog, I had for many years a so called healthy diet , no dairy as it didn’t agree with me, no sugar but honey now and again, and I was also a vegetarian. I have in the last 18months cut out all sugar and gluten I am amazed at how much clearer my mind has become and how much vitality my body has. As you say Anne everything matters .
This is so funny, I know the feeling so well – from the past! After 2 years with Serge Benhayon I feel so much more myself. Now no sugar in the world has the power over me to tell me I’d need it. I can clearly feel how abusive it would be and not even the smell of chocolate is tempting! What a change!
I find it really interesting how cutting out one food leads to another. Sometimes it feels a tad daunting when you realise you are on the cusp of removing something else from your diet as well. Yet as you have pointed out, it’s amazing how great you feel when you pay attention to your diet and eat what is supportive for you.
“Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.”
So very true. Thanks for your blog Anne.
I just love this blog. So simple, so deep and so useful at the same time! How we feed our body is our privilege but we have to be aware that there is not innocence there and that there is a lot of responsibility since what we put inside it affects us (and those that interact with us) for the worst or the better.
Yes absolutely Eduardo – we carry a responsibility not only for what we eat but the quality of our movements.
Great blog, Anne. I also battled to let go of foods that gave me short bursts of energy (raciness) & happiness (actually just numbing my sadness). I chose to eat them even though they make me snotty, gave me irritable bowl and left me feeling worse soon thereafter, in search of another pick-me-up. Now that I have started to listen to my body, it is much easier to choose to not eat foods that leave me feeling dull and tired, instead of the glory that I get to feel when I make more honoring food choices.
It’s very inspiring to read of your journey with food and the responsibility you are now choosing, with profoundly beautiful results.
This is a very powerful blog Anne. Food and how we are with it is such a huge topic for us all. As you say it is an opportunity for us to be more responsible for our own bodies, and the energy we live with. This for me is the all encompassing picture of the role food plays in our lives. As with all things, our food choices will either harm or heal.
I took a month off sugar not so long ago, including all fruit. I did this because I came to realise just how much I relied on it with every moment and I felt sad. I had recently broken up from a long term relationship and was sad pretty much all the time. But one particular day I got up to walk myself into the kitchen to grab something sweet because I had a wash of sadness come over me. Just like that, on auto pilot, and that’s when it really hit me, sadness = sweet sensation.
The first week was painful! I got progressively more depressed as the days went on….but I have to admit it didn’t take too long before the cravings actually stopped, but naturally the sadness did not…that came flooding through…along with a dose of anger!
By the 3rd week I was amazed at how at 3pm I wasn’t needing the pick me up I used to need and by 5pm I was still fully functioning and not feeling depleted and exhausted!
So, this was amazing for me…I couldn’t believe it.
I thought I hit the nail on the head, I told myself that I had broken the cycle of eating sugar as a form of comfort for my sadness. So after just over a month, I thought it was time to reward myself with something sweet. I then started to re-introduce sweetness into my diet.
This was a premature move. Almost 5 months later, whilst my awareness is far greater, I’m having sweet cravings again.
I peeled one layer off, but there is a greater commitment to myself that I need to choose. That moment of 3pm coming around and me not feeling the dip was a huge marker in my body.
Now to work towards feeling that again!
As a fellow ex-cake eater – I would eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner and pretty much anytime in between. Not to mention to plethora of doughnuts and cookies and anything sweet I could get my hands on. It came to a climax when I was 14 and used my lunch money only for sweets and fizzy drinks and unsuprisingly I got very ill and burnt out. While I may not have fully kicked my sweetness habit I can say the lesson of eating with respect for my body and eating what nourishes my body was invaluable.
Dear Ann, what an awesome honest blog. For me you say it all when you write:
‘I was using food to pick me up in the mornings, to fuel me through the day, to reward myself at night for a hard day’s work. I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.’
Food is such a big and important topic nowadays. For me it is work in progress. Last night we had an interesting conversation where a friend shared how she could feel how her body really benefitted from choosing gluten and dairy free, and how it had been suggested to her to skip this way of eating until after New Year, because now in the Christmas holiday it wasn’t handy.
Does our body not want to be taken care of every day of the year?
This is a great point you raise Monika. Our consumption of food is linked with so much more than nutrition and nourishing and caring for our bodies. Food is used as a way to deal with our emotions, to bring us up or down, a way to be social, to share with others and feel part of the group, to celebrate… and the list goes on.
Hi Ann, thank you for sharing this – all of the above really resonates with me, and has inspired me to look more at what I’m putting in my mouth before I put it in there. You’ve inspired me to ask more questions about why I’m about to eat, what and when..
Hi Ann, Great to read this article again. I can relate to all you have written including the effects gluten, dairy and sugar had on you. It was exactly the same for me. How much sweeter life is and how much my body thanks me when I let all this go. However like Alexandre, I too still have cravings for sweet treats which always comes when I am tired. Sometimes I give into them and other times I simply accept the tiredness and allow myself to feel it.
Like you, Jane, the cravings come for something sweet when I am really tired. It’s like my mind goes into auto pilot from the past, when I used sugar for a boost to keep me going throughout my day…But I have broken that cycle of eating sugar when I am tired, by making sure I get quality sleep and enough sleep, and if I do feel a little tired I will have a few slices of green apple rather than touching sugar again.
Food and drink seem to be the addictive tendencies we find hardest to release. Is it no wonder? when breast milk is salty and sweet and comes with love and warmth – to be held and feel safe. But as we grow up and we come to full maturity we no longer need our mother’s breast; however if we are holding onto old issues the needs will still be there and we may be attracted again and again to the sweet and salty, the cake and the comforting tastes.
Dear Ann, thank you for sharing this article with us. I have taken away most desert and fruits from my diet however I still crave for sweet treats from time to time like coconut water and more recently at my parents things like quinoa milk with corn flakes (which I never do at home). Because I don’t do sugar any longer, coconut milk to me taste like honey and same with quinoa milk. It is quite interesting how our palate readjust with time…
Great to read that you are benefiting from changing the foods you are eating and that it has resulted in a more healthy life.
For years I followed diets from other people and did not always feel great, in fact quite the opposite but now I eat what I feel to eat and my body tells me what it does and does not want. I have taken gluten, dairy and sugar out of my diet and have found the changes to my health have been quite profound.
Anne, I related to how you used foods to ‘sweeten the sadness’. I used to say to myself and to my kids, that a little bit of chocolate helps to sweeten the way. And though I’ve long surrendered chocolate and it’s ill effects on my sinuses, my kids, who are all in their teens, still choose to dull &/or stimulate themselves against the onslaughts of the world with sweets. Yet, I can also feel they now know there is a choice and that they are becoming more aware of how particular sweets affect them….so I continue to observe their evolution! Amazing now I realise how naturally sweet people are, and indeed I am, that it seems sugar is increasingly being sought after and is also, being exposed – and not only by this blog but by new films and documentaries coming out, also.
Brilliant Anne, a clear exposure of how we dull ourselves and find ways to cover up and often use food for comfort to hide things we may not wish to look at! Like Rowena, I loved toast and marmalade and initially thought that there was no way I could give up egg or beans on toast, but I did. Occasionally, I revert back to gluten free bread for those ‘treats’ but am now aware of what is going on, normally a comfort issue. What was amazing though was giving up alcohol because the reality is that my body simply downed tools one day and would not tolerate it anymore. Wise body! Chocolate was a ‘biggy’ which I substituted with Halva, until it became obvious that had filled the slot that chocolate left, so it took time but Halva is no longer in the cupboard. It is good to have a sense of humour to catch the tricks the mind plays but listening to the body is like your best friend taking you by the hand and telling you as it is!
Over the past couple of years, like you have shared Anne, I have been noticing more and more in how I use food, why and when I eat and what happens after. What reading this blog got me thinking about was back then the signs were very obvious, and yet even today with my more ‘healthier’ diet I still get obvious signs. This then to me means that diet is not something were you cut out this and that and forevermore live on a set bunch of foods and everything is fine. If paying attention to those obvious signs back then made a difference then continuing this response could bring even more changes.
I think most people can relate to a lot of what you have described, but most people still continue to eat these foods, knowing they are not great for them. I used to absolutely love having a pain au chocolate (Chocolate croissant) every morning for breakfast, it was a treat, a reward, a comfort, and totally started my day on that merry go round of wanting more. I have been able to be honest about why I am eating certain foods, and I have also cut out gluten, dairy and pretty much all sugar from my diet. The only way I have sustained this, having loved those foods in the past, is because I gave my body the chance to feel what it is like without them, and now I actually really don’t want them – so there is not trying or avoiding, I just naturally eat in a way that supports me. When I do crave something I know is not supportive, then it is quite obvious and shows me something is up for me to look at. It is definitely worth experimenting with to see some pretty dramatic changes in they way we feel, and in our general health and wellbeing…
What a timely time to read your post Anne, as I am beginning to reflect on my food choices more and how they affect my body. On the surface it would seem that I eat quite healthy, but notice I can use food to keep warm, or to stop myself feeling vibrant and light and amazing – like there’s a part of me saying ‘Stop, you’re going too far!’ It’s great to see how food affects our bodies as from here we can work out what best suits our bodies, for where we are in our lives, rather than trying to eat to a set diet or eating plan.
Thank you Anne, I enjoyed reading how food has been used for ways other than nourishment for your body.
I can definitely relate to this.
Beautiful Anne, I can completely relate. I used to live for toast and marmalade, would eat it any time of day and all the rest, the cake, coffee, cream, chocolate and alcohol! God I felt ill! Choosing to stop and connect with how I felt after I had eaten all those things was a revolution and I have relinquished foods I thought I would never, ever give up. And now I would never, ever go back to eating them, I have lost weight, feel great and my health has improved 100%. Taking responsibility for what I put inside my body has radically improved my life and I know now just how big and important a part food plays in my daily medicine.
I like how you’ve added the element of responsibility! It’s true what we put inside our bodies and ultimately our over-all health is our responsibility, and whether we like it or not food is a huge part of this!
Thanks Golnaz- Love the way you simplified the whole process of going about truly nourishing our body-“the only thing we need to commit to is to listening to our body and being honest- the rest if it will unfold naturally in its own time”
Otherwise I can see how we can become dogmatic with rules and impose food choices on others including our self instead of feeling what is true for us
Anne, you have expressed it so simply and well there seems to be nothing more to say, except this is a blog i will return to more than once as a gentle reminder that “everything matters”.
What I often ignore is the responsibility there is in eating food, choosing foods that support me to have more energy is so important to how I can expect to be on that day. I am amazed how nourished I can be from so very little if I have chosen the right food to support me at any given time.
Such a super simple article, Anne, I love this sentence…’Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives’… I also ask myself why am I needing a sugary moment to sweeten my day?
I love how you share how when you considered cutting back one thing like dairy, it naturally opened up the conversation about the next food item, like coffee and you started to realise you were using coffee to hide your exhaustion. This shows that the only thing we need to commit to is listening to our body and being honest – the rest of it will unfold naturally in its own time.
“I was using food to pick me up in the mornings, to fuel me through the day, to reward myself at night for a hard day’s work. I was using food because I was exhausted. I was also using food to dull my feelings, to comfort myself, to sweeten my sadness.” I could very much relate to this Anne, especially to dull feelings and to sweeten my sadness. I had not realised how much this affected me until I stopped eating cake and biscuits, my head felt so much clearer and it stopped a lot of the negative thoughts I would get about myself. I had a piece of cake for the first time in along time the other day and although it was gluten and dairy free I could feel how quickly my head would get foggy and was not as clear as it was before the cake.
This is such a great, simple article Anne, ‘Every experience, including eating, is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, to go deeper, to be more responsible for ourselves, for what we put into our bodies, how we live our lives.’ I will ponder on this as I often find I overeat or sometimes really want something that is sweet, it’s great to be more aware of why I’m wanting this, is it because I’m tired, sad or looking for a reward?
Hot English muffins used to be my cake… I’ve realised whilst reading this how much I appreciate the dietary changes I have made and the effects on my body they have had, including very clear-feeling skin which no longer feels dry.
I can relate to so much in this blog Anne. When I decided to cut sugar from my diet because of health reasons, only then I found that I was addicted to sugar and all comfort foods and I couldn’t give it up over night. My first step was to reduce my intake, find alternatives and eat food that truly nourished my body, along with getting enough sleep at night, ( because when I was tired I would reach for a pick me up – sugar) all this together supported me to kick my habit, but it took 2 years!
I find I can’t yet cut out some sweet things from my diet. Wouldn’t dream of eating sweets, don’t eat much fruit, but the odd bit of cake is a real temptation that can lead to a binge. I’m beginning to recognise the patterns that take me to the cake shelf in the shops. Thank you for your comment Jacq, you got there, and so will I.
It is amazing how our bodies talk to us if we listen. So if you stop eating gluten, for example, then as your body begins to feel lighter and less bloated you may begin to feel how other foods affect your body. Feeling into what you are eating is something you can do every day. It is a loving relationship we have with ourselves which is much deeper than having a relationship with food.
Thank you Anne Mallat for sharing this development and being lovingly honest. Great support this is. Like you touch something that we all feel in our bodies but have been numb to actually feel what every single food is doing within us. Gives a gesture that what we feel in our body is not something to ignore.
I can so relate to that! For me it used to be cold pizza for breakfast, if I knew there was some leftover it would be on my mind all night. My staple diet used to be coffee, bread, pasta, pizza, cheese and biscuits. No wonder I was overweight, had mood and energy swings and had one cold or flu after another. It’s amazing that we so called intelligent people with medical backgrounds who are supposed to know about the biochemistry and nutritional needs of the body are so clueless and disregarding of our own health. Yet we are then the one’s responsible for advising our patients how to care for themselves when we obviously have/had it so out of balance. Thank you for your honesty as it does show, and I too know this from my own experience, that if we are willing to stop and look at how food affects how we feel or how we feel when crave certain foods we get insights into why we eat the way we do. And from there we have the ability to make more self caring choices.
My breakfast treat used to be hot buttered croissants with jam! It used to be something I’d look forward to on a Sunday morning. However, the thought of putting anything sweet, or any gluten or dairy in my body now quite simply leaves me cold. I too, recognise that those “treats” were a way to numb and gloss over what was there to be felt and dealt with and that those foods would cause unpleasant symptoms in my body. I’d get bloated and dull, and every morning I’d wake with blocked sinuses. It took a while to adjust to not eating those foods, especially sugar, but I am so much more attuned to my body now and to what it is telling me about my choices. I am so much more appreciative of it and I take care of it like I have never done before.
True michelle819 my breakfast now might actually still be leftovers…but bolognaise or curry! It feels so much better in my body that starting the day with a sugar hit…where the only way is down. Cake for breakfast…yes I remember it but nothing beats last nights dinner!
Anne you go girl, that would resonate with so many people including myself, thank you for being honest and bringing awareness for so many of us.