I spent about 20 years of my life drinking, partying, trying to be one of the lads and having a complete lack of self-worth. I got really ill as a teenager from over-drinking alcohol, but just carried on as it was what I felt gave me confidence and was what all young people did, I didn’t know another way of being. It came to the point where I got so sick, I wasn’t digesting food properly and I had constant diarrhoea.
I decided to seek help, I was advised by a nutritionist to stop eating gluten and dairy and to cut down on my alcohol consumption. Over the next couple of years I started to feel better and decided to stop drinking alcohol altogether as I noticed how sick it made me. The problem was that this alienated my friends, all of a sudden I didn’t have a social life and my friends thought I was weird for not drinking. So even though my body was feeling better, my lack of self-worth was still there and especially now I felt like the odd one out.
I attended a Universal Medicine course and through listening to Serge Benhayon present and talking with other students there, I realised I wasn’t alone, I had finally met people who were also looking after themselves and who had chosen not to drink alcohol; I was introduced to another way of being.
Serge presented to us to feel for ourselves what our bodies were saying, which foods worked for us and which made us feel bloated or heavy.
So I began making changes. I refined my diet by feeling what foods and drinks worked for me and three years on I no longer have digestive issues or diarrhoea.
After hearing from Universal Medicine about spleen time and how it began at 9pm, I started to go to bed earlier and noticed that this made me feel much better and that I then had more energy in the day. Serge talked about the tenderness we all have in our bodies and I really felt this in my body when he was talking about it. I also had some Esoteric Breast Massages with female Universal Medicine practitioners and so have been feeling more of this tenderness, as well as a delicateness and beauty in my own body – this feels amazing, I feel like I’m losing the hardness in my body and instead feeling an elegance and grace I never knew I had.
I realise that I’m not one of the lads, I’m actually a gorgeous woman, I have started to dress differently, much more feminine, which feels lovely.
I take the time to self-massage and am much more gentle with my body, from not carrying heavy bags to driving much more gently and carefully. Through this self-care and having the support of healing sessions with Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners, my confidence and self-worth have been increasing hugely, I feel much more of the real me and am letting go of the trying to be something or someone else.
I have found another way of being, a more loving, more gentle, more enjoyable, true, honest way of being, of self-care, nurturing and love. My relationships have improved because I feel really well and have a lot more energy, so I’m able to love and support my family and friends more, and I have noticed that people around me have been inspired by me. And I now have enough self-worth to not worry if someone thinks I’m odd for caring for and nurturing myself.
By Rebecca Wingrave
92 thoughts on “I no Longer Worry if Someone Thinks I’m Odd for Caring for & Nurturing Myself”
Rebecca since reading this blog a while ago, I appreciate how our bodies continue to refine and communicate as we nurture ourselves. I find that it’s a forever deepening process and we even come to that realisation that our emotions play a big part in it too.
We learn a fitness that is different to the physical one too. So it’s about nurturing the entire body, every particle and the Soul. No wonder people think we’re odd…
I felt I had read this blog before and yet I hadn’t!. The message is a great reminder that the body does indicate what foods supports and what doesn’t. Over the years my body had been signalling yet I wasn’t listening to it, often ignoring the bloating or if my throat was full of mucous.
After removing those foods such as gluten and dairy, it still needs refining as my body becomes much lighter.
I feel we are forever changing, the body constantly developing that relationship. So it is up to us to listen or ignore it. For others, it will always have an effect, a reaction or be inspired, and for us is to simply bring that quality all the time.
You also realise that socialisation is not the same as it used to be in the days of drinking and partying. There are different ways to partying and drinking. In that I’ve attended party’s with no alcohol, and it would finish early so we could complete our day too. Now that’s my type of living.
When our friends prefer we continue with unhealthy choices and they do not celebrate the new wellness we experience from cutting alcohol (or other things) then we really have to question the quality of the relationship. Without judging people we need to see clearly the basis of the relationship.
I agree Melinda, but often it’s not just the quality of the relationship but the jealousy and comparison that filters through, destroying relationships. Can we admit that this is the main culprit to sabotaging relationships or are we going to continue ignoring the fact that this is rife amongst us all?…
If your friends are your friends because you share a mutual behavior, one that is self-harming, then really, are they true friends?
When we make a choice that is loving and then realise the ripple effects and enjoy the benefits overall, it is a very confirming moment that then builds us and prepares us for the next moment and next set of choices to make. And if for some reason we do not make a choice that is loving this opportunity then gets presented to us all over again in another situation with another opportunity. This is life with cycle upon cycle being presented and offered to us to help us realise the choices we make and thus to learn from them and eventually choose love as our final choice.
Every single choice we make has a ripple effect in our life and in the life of others too. So when we make a loving choice this impacts us and others in a loving way.
Every little choice of self love and self care, is a foundational step for a deeper and more caring relationship which self with leads to more than we realise.
Thanks Rebecca. By reading your blog it feels how possible it is to embrace ourselves in a more loving way and how this positively changes everything around us as a consequence
It is lovely to read how your self-worth and confidence have increased as a result of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, and its practitioners, ‘I have found another way of being, a more loving, more gentle, more enjoyable, true, honest way of being, of self-care, nurturing and love.’
We build confidence by building a sense of belonging. Yet, to build it you have to have confidence that this would do it for you. Hmmm.
I too have been caught in that self tug of war, to be sociable with friends we feel we need to join in with the alcohol and at the same time there is a voice inside that says no but we override it to be in the in crowd, all fed from a lack of self worth. Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon I have made different choices that have me saying no to alcohol, gluten and dairy, respecting my body and going to bed early, and my confidence and self-love have grown to allow me to truly know myself.
I found it weird that if a person chose not to drink poison that this person is odd. What did this tell us about our society??? It seems that a lot of us are more interested in harming themselves . . .
When lack of self-worth is at the driving seat, we can easily get off limits regarding what are we capable of doing to ourselves, adding on happily to the hurts that led to the lack of self-worth in the first place.
It is incredible to see just how limiting it is to live our lives seeking to fit into a picture that at the end of the day does not support us to be who we are. When we begin to simply connect to who we are within we start to see, feel and can begin to live the real qualities of our essence which feels far more fulfilling.
Interesting too how living as who we are is often not accepted by many close ones around us as it can press their buttons. And yet living your truth and speaking your truth (respectfully so) is what allows us to be free of the constraints and the pictures.
It’s a strange thing that we can think that someone is strange because they deeply care for themselves. Its not really that though, its the reflection for our own life that we are struggling with.
Spot on Jennifer – caring really should be our norm, but so much has deviated over time to make abuse the norm.
The changes we make do not occur suddenly overnight as sometimes it takes time to let go of what is not loving or supporting us as we step by step come back to ourselves.
Yes it is an upside down society that allows a person to feel like they are odd for being natural. Yet staying steady with what we feel is true and not going back to what is clearly abnormal just to fit in is confirming of a foundation of self-worth…
“I have found another way of being, a more loving, more gentle, more enjoyable, true, honest way of being, of self-care, nurturing and love.” This says it all about the inspiration of the presentations by Serge Benhayon.
Being self caring and tender with ourselves brings big changes as you found Rebecca. ‘my confidence and self-worth have been increasing hugely, I feel much more of the real me and am letting go of the trying to be something or someone else.’
Lovely to hear of the self care that you have introduced to your life and the changes this has brought, ‘I have found another way of being, a more loving, more gentle, more enjoyable, true, honest way of being, of self-care, nurturing and love.’
It’s funny how self-care and making loving choices inspires some people and others get triggered and judge you. This current culture in society needs to change as so many can be pulled in a direction by their peers that is considered ‘normal’ that is actually very harming.
How crazy it is that it can be so uncool and unpopular to take care of ourselves. When and how did that happen?
I agree Andrew. How we accepted abusing ourselves as ‘normal’ does not make sense. There has to be more at play here as clearly this seemingly ‘normal’ way of life is not working for us, and something is getting in the way of us embracing our true loving Soulful way of being.
“And I now have enough self-worth to not worry if someone thinks I’m odd for caring for and nurturing myself.” Woohoo! What a wonderful claiming and confirmation of your self-worth Rebecca. I very much feel this for myself too.
I used to be the party girl and lad, often out drinking others at a party. I then stopped drinking and others felt very uncomfortable with this. I was then considered boring when I was making choices to support myself. I actually enjoyed having the space to come back to me and am now much more solid in my choices so I don’t often get as much reaction or take it on as much.
There is a great deal of pressure to join in with our peers, especially when it comes to alcohol, but food too. As soon as choices are made to not drink, or to eliminate foods that are comforting or numbing, it causes a stir in those around us. Proving only that we all know what we’re doing with these substances… we just don’t like to acknowledge the fact.
How would we not live in a way that deeply confirms us and makes us feel beautiful from the inside out.
The more love you have for yourself the less it is another’s abuse will effect you.
The title of your blog says so much.. the fact that it’s not normal and considered odd by so many to take deep care of one’s self. Taking care is not an activity, but a way of being, a quality, that we can bring to anything that we’re doing.
The more gentle and loving our relationship is with ourselves the more gentle and loving our relationships are with others and collectively, the more we all flourish.
It is good to note how much impact a few little changes can have on our lives and build our self-worth, our confidence and overall well-being.
With being one of the lads we are all selling us short. We deserve being deeply nurtured and cared for and the more we allow this into our life the more we bring this into the world, and bring this to every woman and man, showing that there is another way and that it is ok to be loving and cherishing with each other.
I feel that people only think that self care is odd because this is a way of deflecting the fact that they are being challenged to consider how they are living. The choices we make are very personal and without judgement about another’s choices. Learning to live who we are, without pretence or protection is glorious.
It is amazing how since choosing to be more caring and nurturing of myself how much more steady I am in my body and how less emotional I am…. With this, as you said, you are able to love and support those around you more who benefit deeply from a steadiness that can hold them through whatever they encounter. A priceless gift to be able to offer another.
That is great Rebecca, not feeling odd because you are looking after yourself. Silly that one should feel that way but it is a bit rare to really look after yourself, weirdly so. Maybe this is one of the biggest plagues of our time, side by side with all the conditions humanity faces both inside and outside of our bodily realm. And maybe many of the conditions we do face is just because we do not look after ourselves as we should.
Rebecca that sounds very confident to me: “I realise that I’m not one of the lads, I’m actually a gorgeous woman . . . ” With that confidence you can enlighten the rest of the world.
It is beautiful to have and live from true confidence in the body, a foundation we can build ourselves through deeply looking after ourselves.
Rebecca I loved reading about the grace and elegance that you feel within yourself, from caring and nurturing yourself, very inspiring for us all.
There is so much freedom when we value the choices and decisions we make for ourselves. It is something I admire when I see it in others.
It seems strange to think that others would find that nurturing and caring for yourself would be seen as odd, yet in society it is definitely not the norm. We are now living in an epidemic of eating, drinking and using anything else to numb us from feeling the separation and disharmony the majority are living in.
It is an up-side-down world where it is considered odd to live with self love. As the teachings and example of Serge Benhayon inspire more people to connect with and live the love that they are, so gradually humanity will feel that it is odd to live with abuse to self and others.
Thank you Rebecca, me to, using drugs, alcohol, caffeine, gluten and dairy were having ill affects on my health and I stopped the use of all of these. This all happened years before I discovered Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and what I found was the presentations by Serge filled in the missing energetic reasons for using things that were abusive to my body. By filling in the missing part I could heal the true reason for the abuse to my body and so I could no longer use replacements, which were still having an ill energetic affect on my body.
Once we begin on the path of self healing we will hit a cross road:
1) stop healing because you start to stand out
2) it becomes too difficult to continue because it exposes too much
3) continue because we feel it is everything we felt was missing in our life.
The choice is always ours, but more importantly than making a choice is to be well aware of why each choice is made.
If the latter is the case, at least we can be honest to why we have chosen what we have chosen and have a clear reference point for future choices.
Thus we go round and around until we get it right.
Love how you pinpoint the utter absurdity we’re living in where we’re considered odd to be making food and drink choices that are about caring, nurturing and supporting ourselves. Without the self-worth that comes from the consistency of such choices over time, we can end up swayed by mob rule, back to socially acceptable forms of numbing or distraction, reward or recognition that are entirely unsupportive of our health and vitality.
I like the simplicity of your story, Rebecca, no fireworks and big fuss, just lovely appreciation of your choices.
More than the look of other people it was me who found it strange to look after myself. The concept was alien for me never having been shown how to do this. Everything was done the hard way to prove how strong I was, that I mattered, yet having no confidence whatsoever. The road to recovery was a slow one. Starting with the pace of my walk. People could hardly keep up with me in the past, there was always something to be done urgently. Nowadays I cannot keep up with them if they walk faster than me. My body has found a new softer rhythm and it simply refuses to force its mechanism, it does not compromise anymore.
Feeling the hardness and then the elegance and grace really is a life changing experience. lts a work in progress and is also building my patience with me.
Truly choosing to care for my body is one of the best choices I have made over the last couple of months, I feel it brings a deeper connection to myself and can feel that what is going on for me to address.
Benkt, I agree when we choose to have a deeper connection with ourselves we definitely get to know and feel how our body is, and how best we are able to support it.
To come back to yourself from: “I got really ill as a teenager from over-drinking alcohol, but just carried on as it was what I felt gave me confidence and was what all young people did, I didn’t know another way of being.” is a big change and look where it brought you? To being a sensitive, healthy woman, who has loving relationships and inspires others. Great example.
I too have felt singled out or the lone soldier in my quest for a more self loving life style. Thankfully I have the love and support of Universal Medicine, the practioners and the beautiful people who attend Unimed events and the friendships I have made. This support enables me to live in a world where every day it is reflected to me that I am doing the complete opposite to the majority but now I know that I’m not alone.
So beautiful that you finally chose YOU over everything else.
This is beautiful Rebecca. How awesome to realise that lack of self worth and to work on that to discover true support for yourself. This is inspiring.
Thank you for this clarity of choice you express and that there is always another way. The way back to who we truly are.
Good on you Rebecca for being strong enough to stay with your choice around alcohol. If other young, and older people had the courage to do what they know they need to do (listen to their bodies) what a different world it would be in a very short time.
Rebecca you are leading by example and how lovely to be able to now appreciate the gorgeous and delicate woman you are.
Love this Rebecca as you are embracing the amazing woman you are, honouring your body and living in such a nurturing way that you can’t help but stand out and inspire all those around you.
Great Story Rebecca! Your confidence to just be you is inspiring. Others opinions and judgements of us can certainly be hurtful at times, and that’s something I experience a fair bit. Whilst I am still reacting to what comes at me, I only need a moment to remind myself that looking after me has actually improved my life and my outlook. The choices I used to make that ensured I ‘fitted in’, never created any potential for some self love and acceptance. So today, I feel good about my choices, and will carry on feeling my way through.
My confidence and self-worth have been increasing too as a result of the support offered by Universal Medicine and I no longer feel awkward for not fitting into the excepted normal way of not looking after ourselves, which includes the way we sleep, eat and drink. I know very strongly how much the way I live makes me feel completely amazing, and to hide it prevents another from feeling this.
Thank you for sharing Rebecca, It is indeed great to care more and more for myself, and gaining confidence by being more in my body, it slowly makes me aware of how amazing I am and that I don’t need to be embarrassed when caring for myself, this article inspires me to go deeper and truly feel I am not odd and that it is amazing how I care for myself, thank you.
Such a beautiful sharing Rebecca and very inspiring – thank you!
Love this sharing Rebecca, and I can completely relate. It’s strange – or rather, quite an exposing situation in regards to where we are at in our society – that to make such choices for ourselves as not drinking alcohol, can stand us out from the crowd.
I was also far, far (far, far, far…) more accepted by many people in my life when I drank, yet there is no way I could ever look back. I feel too absolutely amazing to ever go back to the red wine and the like – it truly feels like the poison it is scientifically proven to be, to me now. And then, as you’ve shared, though some react to choices I’ve made, others are inspired, and want to know just why I seem so consistently healthy and super-youthful for my age.
This is most definitely the way of true inspiration – love every minute of it. 🙂
Very inspiring Victoria! There’s nothing better than reading about how great someone feels, and knowing that it’s not a false confidence. That the choices made have absolutely supported someone in their everyday life and hence the glow is true.
Thank you Rebecca for a great blog, it is beautiful how you have opened up to another way of being, a more loving and self-caring way.
How you feel an elegance and grace you never knew you had touches me deeply, Rebecca.. I felt like I had a ghoul around me when I was still drinking alcohol and it took more than 10 years to get all the hardness out of my body. Now walking with elegance and grace is something I observe with myself and many others, who choose not to drink alcohol anymore.
Being open, giving seemingly healthy pieces of advice a go and feeling what your body has to say paves the way for a beautiful unfolding where you become the initiator and source of inspiration for deepening your own connection with yourself.
Odd for caring for yourself?….pfff! You just keep on doing what you’re doing, for every person that thinks you’re odd, there are 100 who are being inspired by you. You know what’s going on, you’ve got this!
Right on Elodie! It seems we can forget that there are so many people being inspired by a more caring and nurturing way of life that we lead, and instead focus on the few disgruntled people because they speak louder 😉
Absolutely. I’m constantly being reminded by good friends just how small the negative stuff is and how grand the positive stuff is. We really do forget that the benefits completely out weigh all the other stuff.
By listening to our bodies and honoring what we feel, we are not able to drink alcohol, stay up until late or over-exercise. Our bodies speak to us loud and clear – without exception, these choices make us feel sick and exhausted. What has helped me build my self-worth (and is still a work in progress) is honoring what I feel in every moment. This started with choosing to listen to my body – to choose foods that supported my body and didn’t leave me racy, tired or heavy, and to go to bed when I felt tired (usually before 9am). It is normal to care and nurture ourselves!
Yay! for not worrying what other people think about you. It awesome to read how you transformed your life around. Thank you.
To go from the life you led to feeling tenderness and delicateness in your body and connecting to the elegance and grace within is just gorgeous, you can add me to the list of those blessed to be inspired by you.
Rebecca your experience with your friends on giving up alcohol paints a powerful but sad picture of the reality of so many of our relationships. What are they really based on? Not love it seems, but being partners in numbing ourselves to the hurt we feel. I love how you have gently made different choices for yourself by learning to tune in to the wisdom of the body.
Well said Michelle for it is really important to be honest about what the quality our relationships are founded on and whether they are wholly based on decency respect and love or not.
Love it Rebecca. Great blog to read. I found too when I attended universal medicine presentations I was like, yes finally ! Haha I had people and support around me that felt the way I did on subjects and it was/is great to have that. From this, I realised the way I want to live is not that weird
This is a great read Rebecca, just lovely to learn how you became responsible for your own well being. It interests me that when you removed gluten and dairy from your diet you began to feel the impact of alcohol on your body. It makes sense to me, I just hadn’t thought about that aspect before now, although I do remember always being told ‘you must have something to eat before you go out drinking’…thanks for sharing.
Jacky isn’t it madness that we were told you should eat something before you drink. We already knew the outcome of what alcohol was going to do to our bodies we were just slowing the impact down by eating first. I worked out that if I ate pasta I could drink all night and not feel drunk. If I didn’t want to feel drunk I shouldn’t have drank.
Wow what huge changes you have made, it seems to me that so many things we do are just to fit in with what’s ‘normal’ and not what is truly right for us. It’s amazing to read you have built your self care and self worth to a point where what others do and say does not change what you know to be true for you.
Far too much pressure is put onto the younger generation these days. Just be yourself.
It can feel/seem that companies do not care about you as a person and (may) only want your money. People need to take you for what you are, and not make a judgement on your choices to give up on certain foods, stop drinking, smoking and doing all the other harmful things that affect the body. When you look back you will probably think, did I do all that?
Oh Rebecca, I can so relate to what you have shared, and I love this… “I was introduced to another way of being”. Thank you.
I feel that pressure on young generation to be part of the drinking and self-abuse culture is getting greater as time goes by, so for a young woman or a man to say, ‘no to all those loveless choices, and that is not for me’ is increasingly harder, try as they might. Otherwise, as you say social life goes out of the window and to prevent that, they opt to ‘join the club’ so to speak. Sad but it is just how it is.
That’s very true that there is a huge pressure on people to participate in the drinking culture, when something is so deeply ingrained in society as ‘normal’ it definitely takes a very strong sense of who you are to be able to choose a more self-respecting, caring way of life for yourself. But at least you know in walking against the tide in this you are no longer hurting yourself and the people around you.
So true Meg and a bold choice like that is a choice for all humanity not just for self. That’s cool!
I like that! ‘A bold choice like that is a choice for all humanity not just for self’ I agree, making decisions considering the bigger picture makes making bigger choices much easier.
That pressure to participate in drinking sometimes comes from people who previously were concerned about me becoming alcoholic- isn’t it strange?
That is amazing!! How crazy to once be concerned about you over drinking, but now be concerned that you are not drinking! That makes absolutely no sense.
It really comes back to responsibility for me. Whenever we consider something as the norm or acceptable which in truth we know is harming – (& in the case of alcohol use, there is enough research and evidence to prove this is a poison to the body and also the impact it has on relationships in terms of violence etc) – it allows us to avoid taking responsibility for our choices and how these affect not only ourselves, but others.
I agree Dragana, I wish I could have been a true rebel and gone the other way and said to what is not love.