by Rod Harvey and Sue Kira
Sue and I met about eight years ago and bonded instantly (actually, the physical bonding was enjoyed a little later). Since that time we’ve been inseparable and have had a wonderful relationship based on mutual respect and admiration and a deep love for each other. During this time we have never had an argument (who needs arguments when a discussion will sort out differing points of view).
We also both enjoyed salsa dancing and played in a samba carnival drumming group. Life together has been marvellous and we’ve had lots of fun times and adventures while supporting each other through the stuff of life.
About two and a half years into our relationship we began to attend presentations by Serge Benhayon from Universal Medicine. From Serge’s presentations and workshops we developed a deeper understanding of ourselves and humanity. While the dynamics of our relationship did not vary greatly on a surface level, as time moved on the depth of our love changed – there was more tenderness and making love took over from sex.
With love making the need to ‘perform’ was not necessary and there was no need for an outcome (excuse the pun). Initially I found that awkward as it presented a deeper level of intimacy, but after a while it became the enjoyable norm. Making love is not just about the bedroom, it’s about moments throughout the day – the gestures and things you like to do for each other without the need for recognition or reward.
A year ago we married. Initially, when we started to make ‘wedding arrangements’ we got caught up in who to invite, what music to play and so on till we both started to feel a resistance and realised that we were heading back into the ‘normal’ consciousness that’s around traditional weddings. Once we realised that, we made it simple with a handful of friends, our (adult) kids and the neighbours under a tree in the front yard followed by lunch supplied by those who attended (and no presents). Simple, enjoyable, lovely and over by 5pm so we could kick back and watch a movie.
Through Universal Medicine we have learnt to love ourselves more and through that, our love for each other has grown. As a wise man said once or twice – “it’s impossible to love another more than you can love yourself”. Thanks Serge, we’re enjoying the benefits of your wisdom!
Now I wonder what my wife will say…
As Rod is my third husband, you can imagine that I was getting choosier about who I was going to have in my life. Third time lucky as some would say. So I was off to a good start with the fact that both of us had been in relationships / marriages before that didn’t last and knew more about what we wanted in life which really was about having a mutual respect and love for one another as well as ourselves.
But even with this I could see that because of the unresolved emotional problems of the past, there was still potential for things to not work for us either. Fortunately, we found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine (UniMed), and it was within the workshops and presentations that we were able to unfold more of the truth behind how we felt. By learning how to ‘feel’ more rather than think, we came to understand ourselves more deeply which in turn helped us to grow as a couple.
As Rod said, we never have any arguments, never did, but it was now more about clear, loving, communication, rather than me just not saying anything for fear of conflict, which is how it used to be in previous relationships. I can say that if it hadn’t been for UniMed and Serge we wouldn’t have the depth of love in our relationship that we now have. I had previously thought that I was in love with other men, but really that was just emotional love, but until you can truly feel love for yourself you cannot begin to feel true love for another. This is true love, but it is a love that we also share with humanity equally (but I choose to sleep and make love with only Rod, of course).
When we make love, we have our eyes open, connected to each other, rather than the eyes closed ‘focused on genital’ version of sex or so called ‘love making’. Essentially it’s also about first having a loving connection with yourself and not wanting or needing anything from the other person, whereas in the past it was about seeking intimacy through a physical act.
But we also make love every day in every way (sound like a song from Miranda Benhayon) with moments of passing gestures and by being ‘present’ with each other when we are together. It is easy being in a relationship where there is nothing but love… and while it is not about everything always being ‘perfect’, there is a connection and a true intimacy in this relationship deeper than any I have ever known.
126 thoughts on “A Couple Share their Story – ‘Making Love is Easy’”
Connection and expression really are the foundation of everything. Without connection to our essence we are not expressing from our essence, be this in words, movements, breath etc. With this connection to our essence naturally comes the warmth, the love and the way to be with ourselves as well as another. Hence there is no need to learn how to make love and express from love, but rather we need to peel away those things that have stopped us from making love and expressing the love that we are.
Such a beautiful sharing from you both, Sue and Rod – an honest and open communication, care, deep warmth and love that comes through in your expressions. Thank you!
“it’s impossible to love another more than you can love yourself” – this is such a confirming and beautiful quote whilst at the same time being exposing in terms of realising how little we can love allow ourselves to love ourselves. Traditionally it is often seen as being selfish to love one-self but in truth it is the foundation of a healthy and supportive relationship with self and thus others too.
This is so true, start with building a strong foundation of love for self, ‘until you can truly feel love for yourself you cannot begin to feel true love for another.’