by Kirsten Roslyn Barrett
It was in April 2009 when I first met Serge Benhayon whilst attending my very first Universal Medicine course. Up until that time in my life I had been obsessed with being of service to others. I had studied and practised Chinese Reflexology, Reiki, Angel Therapy, NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), Kinesiology, Iridology, did psychic readings and was also an ordained Christian Spiritual Minister holding weekly services. But nothing that I did, studied or read truly answered that ‘call’ from deep within. I had a constant feeling that that something was missing and unanswered, if you will.
Weighing in at a hefty 155 plus kgs, I was smiling on the outside whilst working extremely hard at burying the sadness, pain, hurt, anger, emptiness, self-loathing and lack of love in my body – whilst all along believing I was helping others deal with theirs.
No one, or anything I had studied or read had ever explained nor shown me how the way I lived my life affects not only me, but also everyone else. This was a bitter pill to swallow I have to say, but I could feel the truth in what Serge presented at the workshops and presentations. Something deep within was stirring for the first time and I knew the search was over – it was all about me finding myself.
My initial reaction was that I could take this work out and show it to everyone, as this will help so many. At the end of the course I was determined that I too would be an Esoteric Practitioner and be there to support others. I thought it would be so easy and wouldn’t take me long to be a practitioner as this had been the case with other courses I had attended. But, over the next six months it became very apparent that there was a hell of a lot more involved to being an Esoteric Practitioner than just looking and acting the part physically – which had been the case for me previously. I realised that I couldn’t be of service to anyone if I didn’t choose to live the healthy, loving life that I could now feel the benefits of, especially to myself.
Since attending Universal Medicine presentations I discovered that what I felt had been missing for so long, much to my surprise, was already WITHIN ME, and this was the loving connection with myself. I had not known how to honestly, truthfully and lovingly deal with and let go of all the sadness, pain, hurt, anger, emptiness, self-loathing and lovelessness that I was feeling deep within. I am now aware that I and I alone have control over what direction my life takes, as I and I alone am responsible for the choices that I make, lovingly so.
I am now far more aware of my body and am able to feel what and when to eat. The more that I tune in and listen to my body the clearer I become. I have a lot more energy and feel more balanced, brighter and lighter in more ways than one. My body feels alive for the first time ever – and so do I. Now, at the age of 50 I feel like I’m only 30 with the best yet to come. My weight is positively on the decrease as I a lovingly re-build my foundations for this life.
I stand here today – a joyful work in progress, a loving product of my own choices as I no longer allow myself to be a helpless victim of circumstances. Serge Benhayon lives what he presents in his lectures and workshops, and that is “that life is all about love” – the love that we have for ourselves, for family, friends and everyone equally so.
My heartfelt thanks go not only to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine but to the whole Benhayon family and all the Universal Medicine trained practitioners that have, and are, so lovingly and professionally supporting me along my journey to a healthier, loving and joyful ME.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
A beautiful testimony of the way our lives can turnaround when we begin to connect our love within, our bodies and being, and be guided by the truth that resides therein. What Universal Medicine offers us is in one sense extraordinary, as we are presented a way of living that is guided by our whole-body intelligence, but in other sense also very simple, highlighting what is truly already ‘normal’, as it is a way of living that is innate in all of us.
Hi Kirsten . . . ” . . .I was smiling on the outside whilst working extremely hard at burying the sadness, pain, hurt, anger, emptiness, self-loathing and lack of love in my body – whilst all along believing I was helping others deal with theirs.” . . . I used to have a saying that I would say to myself with when people would comment on what a beautiful smile I had and it was . .”not smiling gritting my teeth” . . . it is hard work keeping our hurts under wraps and such a relief to let it all go and be more the love that we are.
“that life is all about love” on the surface this sounds so simple, and it is, but it calls for true love to be in every move we make, every word we speak and every thought we have.
I love how you are now far more aware of your body and can feel what and when to eat, ‘I have a lot more energy and feel more balanced, brighter and lighter in more ways than one. My body feels alive for the first time ever – and so do I.’
I can relate with searching on the outside for what was missing, when in reality it was inside me all along, it was simply re-connecting to myself, ‘Something deep within was stirring for the first time and I knew the search was over – it was all about me finding myself.’
Everything we need is already within us, I love to come back to this truth.
‘ I realised that I couldn’t be of service to anyone if I didn’t choose to live the healthy, loving life that I could now feel the benefits of, especially to myself.’ You raise a really important point Kirsten and so many are thinking they are ‘doing good’ such as healers or carers etc when in truth many are totally exhausted and not caring for themselves at all and often end up burning out. When we begin to self-care and live life making more loving choices we offer a reflection for others to be inspired and feel truly supported by.
I can relate to that level of excitement about doing a course and being a practitioner – and then the slow dawning realisation of having to deal with my own stuff, first. What makes Universal Medicine modalities different from anything else is that they’re delivered with a level of integrity and clarity, that I haven’t found anywhere else (and I’ve done a lot of searching). They’re delivered by people who are actually living what they talk about, so you get to feel exactly where you’re at – which is amazing, if at times confronting, because then it’s an opportunity to start to deal with everything that is there to heal and let go of.
It is entirely up to us how we feel in life. The quality we live from will be the quality we feel so it makes sense to be aware of and take care of the quality we are choosing in every moment does it not?
“Something deep within was stirring for the first time and I knew the search was over – it was all about me finding myself.” Being stirred up is a good sign to look within. Personally, this was a trigger to go into reaction when, it is important to allow the feeling to provide you the truth to go deeper and discover. Being stirred up should be embraced.
The thing I get from your sharing Kirsten is how with the other healing techniques you learnt that there was a focus on fixing others, where with the Esoteric the focus is on connecting with, understanding and accepting ourselves, the healing then becomes about supporting others to do the same.
It never ceases to inspire me how quickly and positively our bodies respond when we live a truly loving and honouring way of life.
I agree Paula – this for me highlights the fact that everything we think we need, we already are. We only need to be willing to surrender to it, through firstly being willing to be honest with ourselves.
“I stand here today – a joyful work in progress, a loving product of my own choices as I no longer allow myself to be a helpless victim of circumstances.”
This is such a lovely approach to life Kirsten and what a beautiful foundation to have and build for your life!
It’s amazing how many of us work so hard to bury all our unpleasant emotions and choices and yet focus on helping others without first looking to deal with what we have chosen to ignore. Without considering for a moment the profound effect and irresponsibility that our undealt with emotions etc can have on those we seek to support, there can be no true support. An amazing lesson to learn.
That is the difference isn’t it, the quality in which we do things rather than just what we do.
“I realised that I couldn’t be of service to anyone if I didn’t choose to live the healthy, loving life that I could now feel the benefits of, especially to myself.” And here it is: responsibility. To take it again will change not just our all single lives – but the world!
We will see!
Beautifully shared Kirsten, all the looking out side of us has really amounted to nothing until the call comes to look within, know who we truly are and begin to live and love our selves, for life to begin.
The realisation of something is often fast to grasp and a beautiful gift but to then bring it into our life requires dedication and time until we fully live it.
So true Esther – every true loving choice needs consistency to magnify and become solid. Then we can build on that – which means expand our expression.
Kirsten thank you for sharing your experiences with meeting Serge Benhayon. You wrote: “I am now aware that I and I alone have control over what direction my life takes, as I and I alone am responsible for the choices that I make, lovingly so.” So you are now a living role model that there is an answer in everyone – the only thing is we have to choose to re-connect to it.
Serge Benhayon’s ongoing commitment to making life about love is a deal breaker, showing a whole new way of living. More recently I have deeply appreciated and been inspired by Serge’s commitment in each and every day or even in every moment make life about a more expanded love than the moment before. This is profound and guarantees that he is forever expanding his love for him and all of humanity.
“No one, or anything I had studied or read had ever explained nor shown me how the way I lived my life affects not only me, but also everyone else.” This is one of the grandest revelation, to understand and accept that everything I do I equally do to others, that everything I do or have done will be in the presence of my next move. That the quality I chose to be in is the determining factor in life.
“I stand here today – a joyful work in progress, a loving product of my own choices as I no longer allow myself to be a helpless victim of circumstances.” A powerful statement and a powerful way to live.
Wow Kirsten, what a great read, thanks for sharing so openly. I loved the words that you are “a loving product of my own choices”, this really highlighted for me the power of the choices we make everyday, and that our health and wellbeing is really up to us. Like yourself I also noticed that unlike other courses I had done that led to practitioner skills in modalities, that Universal Medicine offered something completely different, and it was our own self loving foundation that supports us as true practitioners not just the learned skills. It’s the way we live that profoundly impacts clients and all others around us. I love the responsibility in this!
Absolutely Joel, the truth is so simple and the mind likes to complicate life by adding more and more knowledge, which can be useful when applied with the wisdom of the esoteric, but knowledge does make it difficult “for truth to get in”!
Thank you Kirsten and Dragana, I agree, Universal Medicine teachings are all about true “responsibility” in everything we do!
“Something deep within was stirring for the first time and I knew the search was over – it was all about me finding myself.” I remember the feeling of something deep within responding when I listened to Serge Benhayon for the first time and it was the start not the end of discovering myself. To find that the love I had been aching for was there within my very being all the time and choosing to be the love that I am is steps back to the Divine love that I and all of us come from.
Having a constant feedback to your own awareness/body is an essential tool to have in your day. Whenever I ignore my awareness there are repercussions and whenever I listen I only ever have a joyful experience.
So the question is then why do we shy away from our awareness when it is the one thing that can help us navigate life with ease?
Kirsten – I LOVE it and YOUR JOY is very much felt in your writing. People like Kirsten are the living, walking miracles that the teachings and presentations from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon inspire. This is absolutely priceless. At a time when obesity is rife, Kirsten and many other Universal Medicine attendees should DEFINITELY be studied.
A very inspiring blog that should be read by every practitioner of any modality as it expresses true integrity. We can learn all the techniques of the world, but if we don’t walk the talk and are true in what we live we will never be true practitioners, but just people with issues who work as practitioners. And this accounts for any profession and person as we are all practitioners if we live from truth.
I enjoyed reading this very inspiring blog Kirsten, I especially liked how you said you were ‘a joyful work in progress’ – beautifully said.
Great to read Kirsten. Great point you’ve pointed out in this paragraph: I was smiling on the outside whilst working extremely hard at burying the sadness, pain, hurt, anger, emptiness, self-loathing and lack of love in my body – whilst all along believing I was helping others deal with theirs.
It’s interesting that we can think that we can help people deal with things when we haven’t even dealt with them ourselves. I’ve been a culprit of this too… It’s a great thing to being to light, that as practitioners, responsibility for how we are comes first.
‘No one, or anything I had studied or read had ever explained nor shown me how the way I lived my life affects not only me, but also everyone else.’
When you really consider this, it just doesn’t make sense that people are offering healing and advice about life if they are not living it themselves, it’s like you just offer the knowledge and it goes from one head to the next -and you end up knowing how to look after yourself, but not being able to put it into practice. The second you get it from someone who is actually living it, it’s like it goes from body to body… you are actually inspired and you are able to put it into practice. There is a powerful difference in actually walking the talk.
Kirsten, I loved the statement about where you called yourself ‘a joyful work in progress’, beautifully expressed!
Wow, Carmel, that is truly humbling to read, and feel!
To be of true service has no ‘I’ in it, yet to reach that place we are asked to deeply love ourselves first. All the certificates I ever had have never made any difference to what I brought to the world, yet simply being present in my body and responding only to what my body requested of me, moving with full presence and love has changed life and all my relationships.Thank you Kirsten for your honest reflection.
Thank you Kirsten for a beautiful sharing, the changes to our lives are amazing when we connect to who we truly are – love. I loved the lines “I stand here today – a joyful work in progress, a loving product of my own choices as I no longer allow myself to be a helpless victim of circumstances.”
Thank you, Kirsten. So true we often think you have to be in a certain profession to be of service to others. Through the presentations by Serge Benhayon, I now understand the bestest service I can bring to the world is simply to express myself in my fullness through every interaction and every activity, and like you, to build the body that can support that expression. Seemingly hard work, but I am working on it.
Thank you for sharing your journey and the ‘joyful work in progress’ that is you learning to love you. Beautiful Kirsten.
The obvious can be so very well hidden. For me Serge Benhayon is a true messenger of God and it’s in the grace of our connection that the truth can come to the surface of my life.
Taking responsibility for the choices we make can be quite confronting, but also honouring of one self and truly empowering. Thanks for sharing your story so honestly Kirsten.
Thank you for sharing with such honesty. Socially it is applauded if you are a selfless person who does everything for everyone else before yourself. As you describe, this was not working for you or for anyone else. This was one of the greatest lessons I have learned from Serge Benhayon too, that you have to love and support yourself before you can truly love and support anyone else.
Thanks Kirsten, Before coming to Universal Medicine you tried it all! All the modalities you tried are different, however they share something: where no one chooses to go and this happens to be the key.
Kirsten, I loved reading this, especially what you said about you being a joyful work in progress and a loving product of your own choices, no longer a helpless victim of circumstances – what an amazing and inspirational transformation.
“Life is all about love” – I couldn’t agree more.
The inside out approach that Serge Benhayon presents is so natural, so powerful, and so simple… yet for our entire lives we have often been fed that life is about exactly the opposite. It’s all there within us all, subject to letting go of all the impositions we have acquired along our life’s journey. And that is where having a guide and role-model like Serge Benhayon is so incredibly helpful.
‘I stand here today – a joyful work in progress’ – that is perfect and exactly as it should be.
I loved that line too – there is so much joy in moving on from the things that hold us all back.
A beautiful inspiring blog, highlighting what so many of us have done, by focusing on keeping ourselves busy, with helping and supporting others. A good diversion for us, to avoid having to look at what is truly going on within ourselves. It is only when we heal and bring love back to our own bodies can we truly be of service to another. Thank you for sharing your story Kirsten.