The erroneous focus of recent media on the high percentage of women attending Universal Medicine has been so eloquently dispelled in previous posts but it does beg the question, “So where are all the Men?”.
As a man who has chosen to test the teachings of Universal Medicine for himself, rather than relying on the second hand views of others, I found one thing incredibly confronting… Love as I knew it, was totally back to front.
I grew up being shown that men were the providers, the fathers with all the answers, the handymen, the compliant husbands, the ‘blokey’ mates, the wine appreciators and so it went on.
Meeting Serge Benhayon turned this on its head. I was asked to explore the possibility that there was more to me than being the provider, the father, the husband, the good son, the mate. I was shown ways to build a relationship with myself (not my hurts, but myself). I saw other men (including Serge) building a relationship with themselves that did not rely on ‘warrior painting’ or ‘drum beating’.
The most confronting part about exploring what true love could feel like in my body, was acknowledging (and feeling) the possibility that under all the bravado, alcohol, DIY mania was a deeper part of me that was tender, gentle and lovely.
I had spent years covering up that tenderness for fear of what society could and has done. While I had convinced myself that to feel tender was a sign of weakness, the truth was it was something I craved more than anything else. I wanted it from my father, my wife, the world… but no one else could give it to me. I had to give myself permission to feel it, because it lives within me.
I am still exploring all of this and my relationships at work, with my family, my wife and myself are changing but only for the better. I don’t live that tenderness all the time and I still slip into some of the roles… but I live with deep appreciation for what has been presented by Universal Medicine – but also completely understand why it’s easier for some ‘blokes’ to throw stones rather than explore the amazing beings that they are.
By Joel Levin
Further Reading:
Men in Livingness
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
The other thing that becomes evident when we do discover the love the can be found within is that this is our essence and is the same in both men and women. We are all tender, precious, love-able, gorgeous, Divine and spunky in our essence despite our gender, age, status or appearance..
It is very beautiful to feel and witness how true love, when embraced, reveals who we really are. Not always easy to admit that we have been fooled by ideals and belief, as it takes great courage to be honest about our loveless behaviours and how they truly make us feel. But the more we are willing to, the more we get to taste the freedom in being who we are, the richness of our Soul, and the more we realise that compromise is grossly overrated.
Yes I also found that when I chose to test the teachings of Universal Medicine that “… Love as I knew it, was totally back to front” . . . and wasn’t love at all. I found that what I had called love was coming from a neediness, an expectation of another to give me what I would not give myself, an attachment, a comfort , a security , an emotional hook; but it was never love as love is not a thing to attain to, to get or to be given as we are love and only need to reconnect to our innermost essence to know this to be true..
How very inspiring Joel to give yourself permission and feel your own tenderness and sensitivity as a man, and we women love when men show how they too are just as gentle as we women. Everyone wins.
“I was shown ways to build a relationship with myself (not my hurts, but myself)” – this really stood out for me. Made me realise how much I have been engrossed in managing and maneuvering around what is not true – and I still do at times, instead of simply living what is true. Thank you, Joel.
Thank you Joel. An inspiration to all naturally tender men to choose to feel and share their tenderness with the world and inspire others to be equally inspired.
It is lovely to hear how you have embraced your natural tenderness, it is a joy to have tender men in the world.
What you share is beautiful Joel, ‘I had spent years covering up that tenderness for fear of what society could and has done. While I had convinced myself that to feel tender was a sign of weakness, the truth was it was something I craved more than anything else. I wanted it from my father, my wife, the world… but no one else could give it to me. I had to give myself permission to feel it, because it lives within me.’ Gorgeous.
It is so beautiful Joel to know men such as you and many others who are opening up to their tenderness and expressing this without holding back. To be around a man in their tenderness I never feel it’s a weakness in fact it is very powerful quality that supports me to drop into a deeper level of tenderness within myself.
What you write Joel resonates deeply with me too. I may be a woman, and a beautiful, delicate, sacred and sexy one at that (no more or less than every other woman), but I took on the same belief as you in that I thought I had to be like a man if I was going to ‘succeed’ in life. I rejected my naturally delicate and tender ways in favour of trying to live up to the beliefs I had of what a man was. It has been the reflection of men reclaiming their deep and natural tenderness that is supporting me to connect to mine. My husband is a daily reflection of tenderness and I now feel this within myself to. Now I have dropped the erroneous and harming beliefs I had of what it is to be a man in this world, I am also now able to feel the truth of being a woman, and so contribute to the growing reflection of sacredness there is in The Way of the Livingness.
It’s ironic that what we crave most we push away but when we begin to make changes within ourselves and feel that which we have been avoiding all along we realise it is possible to have true love in our lives.
Thank god for men like you Joel, leading the way and reminding us all what it means to truly be a man.
The more I honour and accept my tenderness the more it is honoured and accepted by others.
Everyone has a choice to choose what they wish to, however, to try and push ideals through dishonest media is a ploy that many are waking up to.
I guess for a man it takes a little step more to explore their feelings and tender being, not because they are less of it but because they have been told that it makes them less manly, and also because women have become extremely tough nowadays, so how to ‘survive’ as a man being tender if the women are so hard.
This is so beautiful, I love the last words of understanding. As that so signifies the caring nature of a man, everyone is seen for who they are. It is something new that we rediscover that men are the total opposite of what they have learned from young onwards. I can feel the tenderness, but it takes time to allow it to blossom.
I love how open and willing you are to share your experience of the world and of the work you are doing on yourself, Joel. You write for so many men in this piece; it is not only very inspiring and very uplifting it has humour and warmth that makes your writing a pleasure to read .
It is gorgeous to read of someone prepared to let go of the roles and facades and choose to live the tenderness they are even though it is a quality not truly embraced by men in the world. The world needs men like you to show others the way back to living who they truly are and to live how they truly feel to, expressing this even when outside of the current norm.
Great call Joel – we men are truly tender and delicate. Great to say it and great to claim it so that we can allow ourselves to feel once again. Underneath that armour many of us have taken on is a very precious being that can feel and sense everything.
And here they are, the men! Tender, lovingly and powerful men, who start to consider to express who they are. Interesting that the media does like they are not there at all. Must be very confronting for them to meet this men, men like you Joel.
True Sandra – being confronted with someone who is living in honour of their natural tenderness and divinity highlights where we are not. This can be so painful for some that they try to destroy the reflection rather than have to feel the pain deep within.
Until we embrace a way of living for ourselves, or worse live it and then deny it, we can only watch and live in a constant tension of what we are consistently choosing not to live for ourselves.
Thank God for Serge Benhayon and the many men who live in a way that expresses and honours their sensitivity and love- it is a real blessing as a woman to meet and experience men like this.
It is so beautiful to read your blog Joel about connecting to the deep tenderness that lives within you and not being afraid to show it, men can be as deeply tender as any woman, and it is this tenderness that opens hearts.
“Love as I knew it, was totally back to front.” To realise this is huge, as there are so many pictures that feed us what love is and we pick the ones we like but, what if all these pictures have nothing to do with what true love is.
“While I had convinced myself that to feel tender was a sign of weakness, the truth was it was something I craved more than anything else.” Joel I love your honesty – you are a role model for so many other men. Thank you for not holding back your tenderness – I am sure that you are not the only man carving it more than anything else.
And we all – women an men – are craving for the tender men in expression. When I first heard the men sing from their tender bodies and express as a group in love and delicateness – I cried and cried. It is like I was waiting for the men to come back as who they truly are for lifetimes! What a joy to get them back! Thank you Joel!
I have been on dating sites recently and it has been amazing to interact with more men. It is interesting how they think they need to be a certain way and also what women have put onto them. It is always beautiful when a man lets his guard down and stops trying to impress or put out an image and starts to show you more of his sensitivity- this is something that is very lovely to experience. I have also seen men who don’t want to do this and it limits the interaction and is a way of playing games.
The many men who are students of Universal Medicine and are inspired by Serge Benhayon to share their tenderness and true love have allowed me to see and feel this same tenderness and inner true love in every man I meet.
Absolutely Adele, lets the ‘joy’ of unity or brotherhood return to us all!
There is more to being a man than what we have been currently shown. Men could actually be more of men if they took some inspiration from the women.
So true Kathleen, there are men who are truly inspirational in how they are living, showing that strength and tenderness can be delivered in equal measure.
Yes Joel these qualities in a man really melt a woman’s heart.
Hear hear Kathleen and Joel, I agree, men and women in the Livingness are in their true power!
Thank you for sharing JL, it is beautiful when men express their tenderness – it supports other men to also allow this.
Yes Anna, it’s not only men developing these tender relationships with themselves that is powerful (life changing in fact!) but when they begin to develop these relationships with others (men ‘and’ women), well all I can say is ‘wow’, look out!
‘I had spent years covering up that tenderness for fear of what society could and has done. While I had convinced myself that to feel tender was a sign of weakness, the truth was it was something I craved more than anything else.’
To me, it is obvious that all men crave this tenderness, no matter how big and burly they may seem on the outside, I can see how sensitive they are underneath, it is like it is a natural part of being a man. When I have experienced men showing the tender side of them selves, it actually comes across as a strength, and much more powerful than those many obvious behaviours that try to give the impression of being a strong man.
Beautiful blog by a beauty-Full man. I enjoyed reading the comments also. Sadly I was a woman who bought into the ‘tough man’ ideal hook, line and sinker, however, I am pleased to say that as I allow myself to soften, open and feel and live the real me more and more I am now loving and appreciating the growing (in both number and depth) tenderness in the men in my life!
Thank you Jl for sharing your story, so much has been put on men to be anything other than who they truly are. It is truly beautiful when men can feel and express the tenderness that resides within.
Thank you for sharing the unfolding of you returning to your tenderness. It is beautiful to feel and an inspiration to other men to explore theirs.
I do sometimes feel sad about the fact that so few man allow true tender connections. Even in the gay scene it is rarely seen and it’s quickly just about sex or neediness. Being around Serge Benhayon and all the other most beautiful men, I meet at Universal Medicine events, is like charging my batteries with real connection. I take this into my daily life and share it with everybody.
It is such a shame we make our men tough, providers, the ones who have to be strong and unable to show how they really feel. You are breaking through a big societal wrong here JL, of course men should be able to feel their feelings.. how can they not!? This is an inspiring read.
It’s beautiful that you have reconnected to the loving, tenderness you naturally are, and feel able to express and live it more and more in your daily life.
Thanks JL
Totally agree with you, discovering our inner qualities and their innate beauty and connecting to them, is as amazing as shocking because it is such a contrast to how we have chosen to live. The truth is that being a man offers any of us a catalogue of ‘places’ where to safely hide from ourselves without even stopping to consider what are we truly doing.
Awesome blog, JL. I have been blessed to live with a gentle, loving man that has also attended Universal Medicine presentations and has been inspired to connect to that tenderness within, rather than fight it. I have observed how the world does not make it easy for men to let go of their roles and toughness and most men find it very confronting when others do so. But wow does it need more men like you to show them that it won’t all fall apart if they let down their guards.
The deep appreciation you have for Universal Medicine and the understanding you are now exploring of the love and tenderness you naturally are is gorgeous, and just beautiful to read.
I agree Amina, this inspiration is so needed. This particular part of the blog touched me: ‘I had spent years covering up that tenderness for fear of what society could and has done.’ This made me feel sad to be part of a world that has made someone (or many many people) afraid to show who they are. Thank heavens we are beginning to change that.
Great comment – There is nothing sexier than a man who takes care of himself!
This is beautiful to read – men are so amazingly tender and delicate too! It’s crazy the amount of effort we put into being something that we are not naturally meant to be.
“The most confronting part about exploring what true love could feel like in my body, was acknowledging (and feeling) the possibility that under all the bravado, alcohol, DIY mania was a deeper part of me that was tender, gentle and lovely.” I appreciate this quote as a woman who was once very hard and distant with others who craved to be more close and open. I can feel how my body has become so much more gentle and open through building a true relationship with myself and learning to express from this place. This is a very tender and open blog and it is gorgeous to share in this expression from a tender and open man.
JL, your tenderness is palpable through the words of you blog. Thank you for sharing this.
Your comment touched that raw spot of mine once again, of how easy it is to disappear into that cloud of hurt and then do everything I can to avoid it. So true Lee, and it has had such a detrimental impact on the world. It’s well over time to make a change, both personally and collectively.
Throwing stones is just another one of those things that blokes do, whereas real men find the words to be able to express deeply what they are feeling, and share that with others. Exactly like you JL in this blog.
Thank you Joel and Simon, I agree, blokes prefer the “throwing of stones”, which reminds me of the old saying, “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.” As Joel presents, “I found one thing incredibly confronting… Love as I knew it, was totally back to front.” The use of words and phrases are “back to front” in lots of cases, the same can be said about this very old saying, we actually hurt more and it is felt more deeply when words are used against us!