A Life on the Run

by Sarah C, London, UK

My life (and body) were a bit of a mess in 2001 when I had an Energetic Facial Release treatment by Serge Benhayon in a beauty salon in Sydney. My friend Pauline had been to see him and she looked amazing and I wanted some! Little did I realise the impact that session would have on me and my life.

I had barely ‘managed’ the impact of my childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse, which occurred consistently from the ages of six to ten. In fact, I’d buried it so deeply that I had completely wiped it from my memory till I was twenty-seven years old in 1995.

I had tried it all – seven years of weekly group therapy and psychotherapy sessions, Qi Gung, NLP, Reiki, all types of massage, chiropractic, past-life healing, spiritual healers, all manner of workshops, long distance running, extreme dieting, extreme eating, all types of drugs, alcohol… and still no respite from the physical and mental anguish I lived with every day.

On reflection, I honestly had no idea what was going on – crisis to drama and back again.

The lack of any faith or trust in myself meant that I ran from job to job and never really allowed anyone to get close to me. When I felt exposed, I bolted. This applied to work, and relationships with friends and lovers. I was married for only ten months in 1994 because becoming close to someone freaked me out so much. My driving belief was that if anyone saw me, they would see how flawed and awful I am.

I was bobbing around my life like a cork – inevitably from champagne – in the ocean. Totally insecure and untethered to reality.

Finally, there, in a little treatment room in Sydney in 2001 – I came to a complete stop.

Obviously, the momentum of my frantic pre-Serge life is still with me sometimes, and it has taken all my strength to heal myself with the grace of my Soul standing with me, holding my hand when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore; when I felt so naked I wanted to run again, I felt the love from my heart holding me up.

I chose to not be a victim of my childhood and see what happened with the deep honouring of my past choices, and to heal that pattern so it no longer drives me.

My life is now my choice and as Serge said to me yesterday – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.”

I know this is a big statement, but I truly believe that if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and his relentless love, I don’t think I would have made it to 2012. My soul very clearly listened when I was called to the Ageless Wisdom (again), and if it wasn’t for Serge’s strength, steadiness, consistency, deep care and tenderness, joy and silliness – I would not be here as the amazing forty four year old woman I am.

There is a deep truth that I know who I am – that I have now remembered from lives past – that is strong, steady, consistent, so deeply caring and tender, joyful and so silly that I smile at my sense of fun now, and can see that is who I am. It’s always been there, I just couldn’t see it.

Serge has only ever shown me back who I truly am; and all he has expressed to me through the multitude of repetitive, relentless LOVE of the Universal Medicine courses, audio presentations, sessions, emails and hugs I have received with grace over the years. Just the glory that I am, reflected back to me – with the total honouring of where I’m at.

One of the most glorious outcomes for me in working with my soul, Serge and Universal Medicine, is the wonderful, supportive, fun, healing, yummy and true friendships that permeate my life now.

The little four year old Sarah, who is untouched by all the outer-influences, is the one who knows truth – and quoting the amazing Rita Bone – “Sarah, you were born love, and you are love, so just be love“.

And all Serge has ever said to me is to BE THE LOVE THAT I AM, and that is simply all he has ever reflected back to me.

Thank you feels so inadequate, but the simplicity is perfect.

87 thoughts on “A Life on the Run

  1. Sarah you are inspirational, thank you for sharing your story with honesty. It is truly great to reflect on the techniques we use to use to get through life and observe without judgement, to see and feel how we are today because we have courageously chosen to connect to our inner most, our being that is love and stand by this feeling even when this way of life counters what we have been hoodwinked into believing is true in our society.

    1. To connect to our inner most is connecting directly with our soul, and I agree “even when this way of life counters what we have been hoodwinked into believing is true in our society.” beautiful comment Zoe.

  2. Thank you Sarah for sharing your inspiring story. There is so much that will stay with me but ‘counting our blessings and not our imperfections’ and that ‘you were born love, and you are love, so just be love’ just resonate strongly as applying to us all. Thank you for sharing so clearly how it gave you support to keep going and make such profound changes to your approach to life and in letting go of all that you experienced.

  3. Sarah, I have felt the need to keep people at a distance through most of my life. I too didn’t want people to get close because then they might see what a horrible person I was. This felt very lonely and I couldn’t seem to drop the fortress for the longest time. It is only recently that I have realised that I am not a horrible person I am in fact quite lovely. It is amazing what a lack of self worth can do to you and how it can give you the most untrue thoughts about yourself. We are all worth it because we are ALL love and this makes us ALL equal. This is what I am choosing to live now and it feels awesome. I am no less and I am no more than anyone. How cool!

    1. That’s a beautiful comment Robyn. I so relate to it. Through lack of self worth I was hopeless at relationships, so I gave them up. But we are worth it, we are love and we are equal. How cool is that!

  4. Hi Sarah. Honesty and truth shine through your article. It touched me deeply, bringing up for me memories I had chosen to bury, as not being worthy of sharing. Thank you for expressing so beautifully – inspirational!

  5. Sarah, when I read the line – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections”, I cried and cried. I could relate so well to that statement and people tell me, I am too hard on myself so reading that now allowed me to feel the truth of that in my body, that I still do that to myself and it felt so beautiful.
    So thank you Sarah, your whole story was absolutely beautiful and freeing.

  6. Dear Sarah, I feel I already know you as our lives are pretty similiar. Over the years I too tried many things like Reiki, Rebirthing, Yoga etc, always searching for some meaning to my life, and never finding it. I too know that if I had not found Serge last year, I know I would not have made it either. When diagnosed with cancer last year, that was my call to get out of this miserable life that had no meaning and no love. But I got a call from my Soul and the message was, you must go to England, and that was the first time I met Serge.

  7. What pulled me through last year was all the support and love from Serge, I feel this deeply and it is my truth, I could not have done it on my own. The courses from Serge helped me to understand life and to understand myself, which helped me to take responisbility and own how I had been living. Only then did things make sense. Only then could I truly start to heal. Only then could I begin to feel, maybe I can ‘make it’. And only now can I see that I am not a hopeless case after all!

  8. Beautiful account Sarah, was lovely to read your powerful words here, I can relate very well to the imperfections aspect and I loved the counting of blessings now, so true. You are blessed (silly too! ) and an inspiration of love that is felt. Thank you.

  9. Thank you Sarah for sharing this, it is very inspiring. What I also realise more deeply is that whatever we have done in our lives, that gorgeous little 4 year old is still right there in our own back pockets.

  10. Fabulous Sarah, as you say all our running away comes to a stop when Serge helps us connect with the love in our hearts and our own constant supporter and friend – our Soul. Thank you for sharing your journey and for being so BEAUTIFUL.

    1. I can identify with the running away Rowena, not only in relationships, I’ve ‘run away’ from jobs too. Since meeting Serge that has changed. There is a choice to stay with this new way of being – which is in fact the old way I had forgotten – or go back to running scared of exposure. No contest!

  11. Sarah, a facial that really was beauty-filled, releasing the opportunity for you to experience the true beauty that is within you, and within us all if only we would stop and feel.

  12. Thank you for sharing this Sarah. The quote from Serge ” it’s time to count your
    blessings and not your imperfections” says it all for me.

  13. This is truly beautiful, Sarah. Thank you for your personal sharing and for expressing so eloquently the amazing, ever-consistent and limitless love of Serge Benhayon. and also for “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections,” which I always find so uplifting.

  14. Thank you Sarah, I so love the connection to your playfulness that you experienced. I thought that I had an ok life, yes I too had had some pretty yucky experiences, but I was ok, so I thought. However today as I was going about my day I felt so joyful, light and playful. As I gave myself a moment to really appreciate what I was feeling. I realised that I could have gone through my whole life and never felt such joy. What an OMG moment. I know that if I had not chosen to attend Universal Medicine and the many presentations that Serge delivers that I may never have felt the joy I now live with. The deep appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon leaves me speachless.

    1. That is a great point you are making Leigh Strack, my life seemed totally ok but it was lacking the joy and deep fulfillment that it has today and I was not even aware that it could be possible to feel like this. So I am very grateful to Serge Benhayon for showing me that there is so much more to life.

  15. Its laid out in such a simple beautiful way – ‘you were born love, and you are love, so just be love’ – we just have to get out of the way and stop creating all the complications and drama. It’s all there for us.

  16. And simply thank you, Sarah. Small words indeed for a very big change in life. “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections” is something we could all remember to do daily!

  17. Time for me to count my blessings and not my imperfections… Thank you for this much needed reminder Sarah.

  18. Dear Sarah C. your blog is important for me because some of the patients I worked with had an abusive past and mostly they choose to stay in the role to be a victim. Your blog is a good example for me that a “healing” is possible. You wrote: “I chose to not be a victim of my childhood and see what happened with the deep honouring of my past choices, and to heal that pattern so it no longer drives me.” And: “to be the love that I am”
    This is truly inspiring for me to read!!!

  19. I absolutely loved what you wrote about feeling the love from your heart holding you up – that is just so gorgeous… but you choosing to not be a victim of your childhood and to deeply honour your past choices and choose to heal patterns so they no longer drive you is beyond inspirational and is an absolutely extraordinary and deeply healing approach to life for which I applaud you for choosing. This is a blessing for all who read it.

  20. Sarah, this blog of yours is deeply touching. There is an amazing solidness from which it was delivered. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world!

  21. Hey Sarah… Even if we might not know each other it feels very familiar to read your story. It is the truth, the openness and the love that comes through your lines expressing where you had come from to what you sense you are today. That reminds me on looking at my way and the choice to turn my way from ruining myself to say yes to life and the love that I am. It’s a warmth in my spine that raises here.. Thank you for your sharing*

  22. Your appreciation and love is purely felt. Thank you for expressing and sharing your story. Deeply touching.

  23. Thank you Sarah for sharing your inspirational story and I love how you appreciate the relentless love shown you by Serge Benhayon which has supported you to ‘BE THE LOVE THAT I AM.’ A truly remarkable journey that shows that healing is always possible if we have the willingness.

  24. There is such an exquisiteness in what you express here Sarah, the honesty, vulnerability and gloriousness with which you express is so lovely. My favourite quote being that which was shared with you by Rita Bone “Sarah, you were born love, and you are love, so just be love“. Just simply beautiful.

  25. It is a great blessing to read your story Sarah. Your commitment to love that has been re-ignited is clearly felt. And it’s so true that we are called again to return to the Ageless Wisdom and in there to meet all the ones that have done the same. It is as we all gather now to re-ignite the fire in us and in our working together in group work we will present the Way of the Livingness to the world as the way that will return us all to where we belong, living the life of Sons of God on earth.

  26. I love your beautiful blog Sarah. If only we were taught at school about sexual abuse and the impact it has on the abused, maybe it could be prevented. I can feel the impact of your past and the pain it has caused, and am deeply inspired by your return to the love that you are.

  27. ‘It has taken all my strength to heal myself with the grace of my Soul standing with me, holding my hand when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore; when I felt so naked I wanted to run again, I felt the love from my heart holding me up’. Your writing is simply divine Sarah and I just love the exquisite way you express yourself, its totally inspiring.

  28. This is beyond words. Love flows through your words of appreciation. Very touching. Welcome home, Sarah.

  29. This blog is so amazing… your story is unbelievable from how you lived your life to now being the person you are after meeting Serge. You can feel in the blog the realness and truth of every word is what you live and you are not putting on a show. This blog really got me sitting still and enjoying the blessings that I have in my life instead of focussing on my imperfections… Thank you!

  30. Sarah what an incredibly inspirational story of true healing. I love the line you shared from Rita, so beautiful and true of all of us!

  31. Very inspiring story sarah, thankyou for sharing. I can relate to your story in that I have no idea where I would be now also if it wasn’t for the steadfast constant love and support of Serge Benhayon in my life and his presentations workshops via Universal Medicine. It’s a shock to look back to where I was and certainly count the blessings of where I am now. I loved your quote: ” “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” That as a good one for all of us.

  32. ‘with the grace of my Soul standing with me, holding my hand when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore; when I felt so naked I wanted to run again, I felt the love from my heart holding me up.’
    That is so Beauty-Full Sarah, I feel exactly the same way, and I too still have moments when the old momentums kick in and I want to run away…but, Thank Fully we have been reflected the light of our soul and running is no longer an option 😉

  33. Wow Sarah, what an amazing transformation you have had since meeting Serge Benhayon. Your story is deeply inspiring and healing for many who read this, I love this line – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” – A beautiful reminder for us all.

  34. I agree Anna, this is a great line for us all, “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” And without a doubt the biggest blessing for me is Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Its so easy to focus narrowly on what we are not but, when we shift our focus and open our hearts, we discover all the grandness, the amazingness, the glory of who we deeply, truly, innately are. Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey.

  35. Sarah, what you have written and claimed for yourself is huge! With love support your made the choices to be where you are today. I love the praise and appreciation overflowing to Serge Benhayon – this is indeed a great testament to the power of True Love.

  36. Sarah, I would feel the warmth and sunshine sparkling out from your blog! What I particularly took from your story was the importance of focusing on your natural core of love and beauty rather than getting hung up on your imperfections. This message is perfect timing for me, thank you!

  37. I was deeply moved by reading your story Sarah. It seems like after all you have been through you have returned to the innocence and playfulness of little four year old Sarah who is pure love.

  38. Sarah I am deeply touched by your beautiful sharing. LIke you the beautiful simplicity of thank you feels inadequate for the immensity of what has been given, and yet perfect, since all he is ever saying is for us to be the love that you are.

  39. Sarah a truly honest and very touching article. True love gives us the opportunity to deal with our deep hurts that we carry with us, until we give ourselves permission to let them go.

  40. I found your blog deeply inspirational Sarah, the honesty in your sharing is really beautiful to read. “My driving belief was that if anyone saw me, they would see how flawed and awful I am.” So great that from a facial you turned your whole life around and in writing this blog you have shown your real self, the love that you are and we all want to see that!

    1. Yes agree Shelley Jones, the Energetic Facial Release, which is part of Sacred Esoteric Healing, is one powerful technique and this blog is a great testimony for the healing it can bring to us.

  41. “…. when I felt so naked I wanted to run again, I felt the love from my heart holding me up.” I love this statement Sarah! The love we can connect to deep in our hearts is what gives us the strength to return to who we truly are and let go of all the ugliness that does not belong to us.

  42. This is an awesome blog, thank you Sarah. Without Serge Benhayon’s consistent and unwavering choices to reflect the love that we are I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today and likewise many, many others. Love simply loves and once the reaction to our choices against this backdrop of truth is understood and responded to (still a work in progress!) then that love gets to be experienced and enjoyed more and more.

  43. Thankyou for sharing Sarah. “And all Serge has ever said to me is to BE THE LOVE THAT I AM, and that is simply all he has ever reflected back to me”. This is all we have to do – sounds so simple, yet not always easy. However with consistency and commitment we can turn our lives around. When we ‘be love’ we get that reflected back to us in our every day activities – glorious.

  44. “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” Thank you for sharing this Sarah. It is very easy to focus on the imperfections and wanting to ‘improve’ or ‘do better’ when if we appreciate all that we already are we can feel the blessings of the love that we are and the all encompassing love of God.

  45. Thank you Sarah – simply put, you are love at the very core of you and now we all get to see and feel that every day. Serge Benhayon allows the space to re-connect to who we truly are and his humility and constancy provides an unwavering foundation for us all. An inspiring momentum began on the first meeting with Serge, one that you have claimed and moved forward with. Beautiful.

  46. Sarah thankyou for sharing your story. I’m constantly inspired by the students of Universal Medicine who share of their traumatic pasts, with through the support of Serge Benhayon and the Ancient Wisdom they have more than recovered, they are actually blossoming. It’s pretty incredible to read of the various histories people have yet the outcome is the same – love, joy, self worth, better health and vitality etc. Keep blossoming Sarah!

  47. Sarah thank you for sharing your words ‘My life is now my choice and as Serge said to me yesterday – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.”’ When we concentrate on the love that we hold within ourselves first, it changes how we see our imperfections because they no longer have the same hold they once did.

  48. Wow what a change Sarah – it felt amazing to read your healing story. It gave me the security that everything is possible and that we are never hurt too much to heal.

  49. ‘I chose to not be a victim of my childhood. My life is now my choice.’ I have so much respect for people who choose not to be victims of what’s happened to them, and instead seek the truth and true healing. Awful things can happen to people, but ultimately it’s what we choose going forward that will define the quality of our lives and our future.

  50. Your blog Sarah is deeply inspiring, in choosing to stay the course no matter how hard it was for you and to come through with such healing. I too have felt this reflected from Serge “Just the glory that I am, reflected back to me – with the total honouring of where I’m at.”

  51. “It’s always been there, I just couldn’t see it.” Our beauty and the deep love we are is always there but we learn to not see it. So thank God for Serge Benhayon who simply lives who he truly is and with that brings us a reflection of who we all truly are. Thank you Sarah for sharing that it is possible to come back to love despite the horrors we might have experienced.

  52. Your sharing is reflecting again how the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine does offering us to empowering again – empowering in a true way, no ‘hipe up’ or rah rah. In true empowerment is the acceptance, responsibility, the blessing, honoring and appreciation of all our choices. A grace for all who are ready to do so. …as you showed Sarah.

  53. To feel the power I have previously lived not just as a child but in lives gone past – this theme is repeating itself today. I can understand why people and myself may reject past lives if we have had many lives lived in abuse and lacking in love, but what if there were and are past lives of love that we can tap into? All those years as children living and being the love we are many times over and for some even the love lived as an adult. Rather than focusing on the negatives; what if we could tap into a sense of how we have previously lived the love that we are?

  54. A gorgeous and deeply honest sharing of a journey that through the power of your choices sees you no longer tainted by the past and instead truly embracing who you are. I think we can all benefit enormously from counting our blessings and not our imperfections and letting love be our guide.

  55. “A life on the run”, isn’t that what we all learn to do, always being onto the next thing, not wanting to accept that stopping is ok, stopping to listen to ourselves, our hearts, listening to that what we deep down know to be true. But when we allow ourselves to stop and feel and stop and feel again we discover the richness and fullness of ourselves that is beyond our imagination.

  56. Sarah C I can so relate to what you share about energetic facial releases as I too absolutely love having them done on my own face. The ironic thing is you feel SO much lighter in your whole body afterwards most likely because as your face is being massaged you literally feel like you can let go of layers of facades you have presented to the world that haven’t been you which lightens the load we carry so to speak.

  57. My heart bursts aflame reading your story and these words Sarah: “I chose to not be a victim of my childhood and see what happened with the deep honouring of my past choices, and to heal that pattern so it no longer drives me.”
    Whatever the pain, and whatever there may be to face, what you have re-found within yourself is a monumental, unerring strength. Totally inspired by you, as you have been by Serge Benhayon, thank-you.

  58. “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” I love this. I know that I have look upon events etc and been hard on myself or even judged myself because of them. But really all they were doing is highlighting my own ways back and saying think again. When we approach life from counting our blessings we begin to realise that everything in life is exactly that and that there is nothing or no-one to judge.

  59. Like yourself I feel that I tried every therapy, modality, New Age workshop etc, but at the end of it all I still had the same emptiness, trauma, misery and confusion. I had temporary breaks from how I felt, perhaps by distraction, but the same issues would just come around again even after I thought the therapy I used had “healed” it. It wasn’t until 2012 and my introduction to Universal Medicine and their therapies that I felt true healing occur – issues and emotions truly cleared from my body and I began to be able to truly live freely of my past experiences. With the support of Universal Medicine I also began the process of reconnecting to the essence of who I am and to my soul which brought love and joy back into my life. To finally find therapies based on truth, that have energetic integrity, and that work – priceless.

  60. And thus “”My life is now my choice and as Serge said to me yesterday – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.”” Profound as always is the communication by not only Serge but if we allow and read how the Universe communicates with us in each moment.
    Thank you Sarah!

  61. When we take responsibility for our lives no longer blaming another it is so empowering. Playing the victim has certainly been and still is at times a behaviour of mine but the more I realise that I choose to create situations and events where playing the victim is exposed the more I realise that there is another way and there is no need whatsoever to fall into the trap of drama and victimhood. Thank you Sarah for sharing such an inspirational story.

  62. Such a beautiful and deeply inspiring sharing thank you Sarah. I especially loved the closing line ‘And all Serge has ever said to me is to BE THE LOVE THAT I AM, and that is simply all he has ever reflected back to me.’ Serge Benhayon is a true role model for how to be truly loving it is nothing that can be copied or we have to gain, this deep love is already living inside us just waiting patiently for us to re-connect to.

  63. Sarah this is a beautiful sharing and an inspiring read of how you turned everything around. The quote, “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.” resonates…it can be easy to self-criticise and bash and not to deeply appreciate all that we bring and all that we are.

  64. We flounder so much in our lives thinking we are flawed in someway, while all the time in the words of Rita Bone “you are born live, you are love, so just be love.” Nothing that happens to us in our lives touches this truth.

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