A Life on the Run

by Sarah C, London, UK

My life (and body) were a bit of a mess in 2001 when I had an Energetic Facial Release treatment by Serge Benhayon in a beauty salon in Sydney. My friend Pauline had been to see him and she looked amazing and I wanted some! Little did I realise the impact that session would have on me and my life.

I had barely ‘managed’ the impact of my childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse, which occurred consistently from the ages of six to ten. In fact, I’d buried it so deeply that I had completely wiped it from my memory till I was twenty-seven years old in 1995.

I had tried it all – seven years of weekly group therapy and psychotherapy sessions, Qi Gung, NLP, Reiki, all types of massage, chiropractic, past-life healing, spiritual healers, all manner of workshops, long distance running, extreme dieting, extreme eating, all types of drugs, alcohol… and still no respite from the physical and mental anguish I lived with every day.

On reflection, I honestly had no idea what was going on – crisis to drama and back again.

The lack of any faith or trust in myself meant that I ran from job to job and never really allowed anyone to get close to me. When I felt exposed, I bolted. This applied to work, and relationships with friends and lovers. I was married for only ten months in 1994 because becoming close to someone freaked me out so much. My driving belief was that if anyone saw me, they would see how flawed and awful I am.

I was bobbing around my life like a cork – inevitably from champagne – in the ocean. Totally insecure and untethered to reality.

Finally, there, in a little treatment room in Sydney in 2001 – I came to a complete stop.

Obviously, the momentum of my frantic pre-Serge life is still with me sometimes, and it has taken all my strength to heal myself with the grace of my Soul standing with me, holding my hand when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore; when I felt so naked I wanted to run again, I felt the love from my heart holding me up.

I chose to not be a victim of my childhood and see what happened with the deep honouring of my past choices, and to heal that pattern so it no longer drives me.

My life is now my choice and as Serge said to me yesterday – “It’s time to count your blessings and not your imperfections.”

I know this is a big statement, but I truly believe that if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and his relentless love, I don’t think I would have made it to 2012. My soul very clearly listened when I was called to the Ageless Wisdom (again), and if it wasn’t for Serge’s strength, steadiness, consistency, deep care and tenderness, joy and silliness – I would not be here as the amazing forty four year old woman I am.

There is a deep truth that I know who I am – that I have now remembered from lives past – that is strong, steady, consistent, so deeply caring and tender, joyful and so silly that I smile at my sense of fun now, and can see that is who I am. It’s always been there, I just couldn’t see it.

Serge has only ever shown me back who I truly am; and all he has expressed to me through the multitude of repetitive, relentless LOVE of the Universal Medicine courses, audio presentations, sessions, emails and hugs I have received with grace over the years. Just the glory that I am, reflected back to me – with the total honouring of where I’m at.

One of the most glorious outcomes for me in working with my soul, Serge and Universal Medicine, is the wonderful, supportive, fun, healing, yummy and true friendships that permeate my life now.

The little four year old Sarah, who is untouched by all the outer-influences, is the one who knows truth – and quoting the amazing Rita Bone – “Sarah, you were born love, and you are love, so just be love“.

And all Serge has ever said to me is to BE THE LOVE THAT I AM, and that is simply all he has ever reflected back to me.

Thank you feels so inadequate, but the simplicity is perfect.

134 thoughts on “A Life on the Run

  1. Serge Benhayon can act to accelerate our choice to return to who we are, but we still need to make the choice to want that in the first place – as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Amazing Sarah to feel how you then embraced that which you knew to be true (within yourself) and did not turn away since your encounter with Serge Benhayon.

  2. It’s funny how strongly the discovery of Serge Benhayon and the philosophies of the Ageless Wisdom have brought many to a stop from their frantic lives and allowed us to feel more deeply who we are and what we are truly here for. It is a blessing like no other, and at the same time it takes a willingness to be open, and honest about one’s life in order to embrace this approach and a knowing that once the Truth is known there is no turning back into a convenient oblivion.

  3. Sarah, this is a gorgeous and heartfelt sharing – one that shows that we can stop the ceaseless motion, take a deep breath, recalibrate and know that there is a different way to be.

  4. A couple of years ago someone told me “There’s always something to appreciate” and this came back to me when reading this. Before knowing Serge if someone had said this line to me I wouldn’t of believed them. But now I know it to be true because when you’ve got such tangible truth of who we are walking around in everyday life, like Serge and now countless others, it takes a lot of force to refute that there is indeed always something to appreciate about ourselves or life.

  5. This is what is so fascinating to me when you say Sarah
    ‘I had tried it all – seven years of weekly group therapy and psychotherapy sessions, Qi Gung, NLP, Reiki, all types of massage, chiropractic, past-life healing, spiritual healers, all manner of workshops, long distance running, extreme dieting, extreme eating, all types of drugs, alcohol… and still no respite from the physical and mental anguish I lived with every day.’
    We can run, hide, indulge in everything and anything we like, but at the end of everything we do have to turn and face not only the personal mess we have made but the group Karma that all this produces because we have all contributed to the collective mess we are in.
    There is no getting away from the fact that we cannot run or hide we live in the universe we are a part of the universe and that’s why we cannot escape our future it is already known we are just delaying the inevitable.

  6. Sarah anyone with experiences of abuse in their childhood would what to know how you were able to recover so fully, and not just be absent of those terrible experiences, but be filled joy, fun, silliness, love, presence, and steadiness, etc. It’s more than a recovery it’s a return.

  7. No matter how far we run, our inner-beauty stays always with us to re-connect to and embrace.

  8. Serge Benhayon has brought, and continues to bring so much to so many, ‘if it wasn’t for Serge’s strength, steadiness, consistency, deep care and tenderness, joy and silliness – I would not be here as the amazing forty four year old woman I am.’

  9. One of the many empowering philosophies of the Ageless Wisdom Teachings as is presented today by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and live equally so, is that at the core of who we are, we are love first and this love never leaves us, it remains true and untarnished. Regardless of how much we may feel we suffer from hurts and pain underneath it all this there is the power of love that is greater and deeply confirming of who we naturally are. In developing an honouring relationship with our essence, we naturally heal and let go of our hurts to then allow our love to be what guides us to live the truth who we innately are.

    1. Carola I read your comment and it resonates so deeply within me because we all suffer from our hurts and the pain that is so intense at times we run away from it and bury ourselves in food, drugs and alcohol to deaden the pain just for a while because we know when we come to our senses the pain is still there unresolved. But we have all been shown that there is a different way, that the absolute truth is that we come from love and are made of love as farfetched as this may sound I have discovered for myself the truth of this teaching. Thirteen years ago I would have never have believed that I was love at all in fact it has taken me such a long time to believe it because I did not trust myself enough to let in a speck of it. But love cannot and will not be denied and so I can at last stand up and say I am love, I come from love and will return to the love we all come from. What brought about this change … Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and his family who have stood by me as I have struggled with the pain I thought could never be healed, the healing is letting the love within out, it’s healing properties soothes the jangled nerves, calms the mind so that I could at last feel my body and the deep ocean of love that is there to be shared. The beauty of this is that we are all the same love in spite of our hurts and pain.

  10. In the run away from hurts that are unbearable, we also run away from ourselves. If we try to bury them, we also bury us. If we try to protect ourselves from it, we live a life of protection. Until we say enough of this.

  11. Choosing our Soul is paramount in us continuing to heal and understand how what we feel as issues can actually be all a great learning and allow us to deepen in our healing process.

  12. It is so very healing to realise the love that we innately are – and that no matter what happens in life, that love remains untainted, full and absolute – just as it was on the day we are given life. What an amazing gift to rediscover and reconnect to.

    1. With a deepening understanding of how we can be in space and “that love remains untainted, full and absolute” when we align our movements so the energy we move in co-creates space then Love is normal!

  13. “Counting your blessings and not your imperfections”, this is such a simple offering and yet the impact of it is profound because we have an opportunity to be kind to ourselves and without that we will not allow another to be kind to us.

    1. Spot on Lucy – I too often find it easy to be critical of self, but really why waste time on that when there is so much to appreciate and that the appreciation than builds our confidence and self love in a way that strengthens us in life, and then as you have said allows us to receive more from around us as well as give more to those around us.

  14. We can search without discerning the integrity in healing modalities when we want to release ourselves from the tension of our physical, emotional and sexual history.

    1. There is a plethora of ‘healing’ modalities out there that I too have tried including Reiki, Kinesiology, NLP etc), but there is only the ones that have originated from The Ageless Wisdom as taught by Serge Benhayon that have truly supported me inwards and forwards in life.

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