How My Depression Disappeared

by Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah, Australia

When I first saw Serge Benhayon in early 2004, it was a mixture of curiosity and my aching right shoulder that prompted me to break my resolve to never ever try anything again, be it mainstream medical or so-called alternative. I mainly came because my shoulder, even though much improved, was still aching and I only had a limited range of movement. I had a frozen shoulder, but I never called it that – I suppose I just did not want to own up to what I had actually done to myself through years of massage practice and hard work on the land.

That I had been suffering from depression since my early teenage years I only mentioned at the very end and in passing – I didn’t even know why it came out of my mouth. By then, I had been through nearly 40 years of severe bi-annual bouts of depression and didn’t even consider that it could be otherwise. I had suffered from, or should that be indulged in, suicidal ideations – not because I really wanted to die but because I did not want to live anymore. When I was not acutely depressed I was very serious, glum and mainly outright pessimistic – whilst trying really hard to be as normal as I possibly could and carry on with life regardless.

In my third year at uni I had decided I really needed help, had plucked up my courage and gone to see our family GP and told him how miserable and down I was all the time. All the poor man could say was that I was lucky to be alive and not to have lived through the war and all the hardship and deprivation his generation had had to endure – I couldn’t argue with that, but it wasn’t any help either.

I never chose to have medication, having observed clients and friends go on anti-depressants and the ensuing fog that seemed to come between them and the unrelenting blackness. In hindsight, I could have been kinder to myself with the help of anti-depressants, but I just knew and had observed that they alone were not the answer, albeit a very welcome and very needed break from the intensity and relentlessness of the black void.

My maternal grandmother had been ‘melancholic’ and it was said that she had died from a broken heart; not the kind you get from unrequited love, but from the aftermath of the Second World War in Germany and the suffering and hardship that ensued. A cousin of mine in Canada hanged himself in the garage at home at age 15. My father was found slumped in his chair a day after my mother had been admitted to hospital with the apparently sudden and unexplained onset of severe dementia. He had always told me that he was determined to not live through another war – ever. He was born in 1914, his father had not come back from the front, and he told me early on that he had the means to make sure he wouldn’t be alive should it ever happen again. More recently my brother, who was suffering from epilepsy, committed suicide aged 54; he hanged himself in the bathroom while his wife had gone out for a walk one Sunday afternoon.

So I had my first session with Serge – after some talking, he gave me a hands-on session on the treatment table. At one point he said, “… and that was your soul.”

How strange – I had definitely felt something, but ‘soul’ didn’t really mean anything to me.

I felt great and much lighter after my first session – and made an appointment to see Serge again in another four weeks. The next morning I woke up earlier than usual and had a lot more energy than I had had for a long time. I started taking care of some things in the house that I had not been able to attend to and that felt great. The increase in energy lasted about two and a half weeks, and ten days later it was time to see Serge again. I had about four sessions, each one making me feel somehow stronger and more energised.

Then I realised that miraculously, I had missed my second depressive period that year. Each bout would normally last two to three months. In my twenties there were times when it was so overwhelming I would hardly get out of bed except towards evening when a cloud seemed to have lifted off me. In later years I got used to just keeping going, no matter how awful I felt and how all consuming the bottomless void engulfing me was. I knew then that suicide wasn’t the answer, but living at the bottom of a black pit for about half of each year was truly awful – and I feared that it would become worse as I grew older. Already I had started having unexplained panic attacks in the middle of the night and waking up with thoughts of death and doom on a daily basis.

Since seeing Serge Benhayon for the first time in 2004, I have never had depression again. At first it seemed nearly unbelievable and I thought that maybe I had missed just one episode. After my initial surprise I paid closer attention to what was happening and how I was feeling. Around the times that I would normally get depressed each year I had a sensation of the threat of depression like a kind of shadow for about two years and then that also totally disappeared.

In the years following my first Esoteric Healing session with Serge I learnt a lot from attending the Esoteric Healing courses; about how I could look after myself better and make changes that had nothing to do with a modification of behaviour or better coping mechanisms, but all to do with taking responsibility for myself and my actions. I learnt and understood that my life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis.

That nothing happens by chance is a concept I had always embraced as natural and self-evident, but the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine made this much clearer and provided the background, foundation and science to something I had somehow always known. In the past I had explored many different options through therapy and alternative medicine and nothing had ever truly worked – everything had only ever scratched the surface and temporarily rearranged the deck chairs on my personal Titanic. With the help of Serge’s sessions, other practitioners at the Universal Medicine clinic and the Esoteric Healing workshops, I started to truly heal from deep within to the point that I now actually forget that I had been so badly affected by depression for nearly forty years of my life.

277 thoughts on “How My Depression Disappeared

  1. Recently I remembered that I used to get a feeling of being suffocated on a regular basis, my throat would close up and even though I could breathe the restriction was there. Since having Sacred Esoteric Healing sessions I don’t get it at all, in fact I can’t remember the last time I had it.

  2. The support of the Sacred Esoteric Healing modalities is profound, I remember experiencing them for the first time and feeling a very different and beautiful quality of energy in my body compared to other energy healing modalities I had experienced. The other difference was also having issues and traumas truly resolve, not only were they cleared (and not buried deeper or covered up) but I began to build strength and love within myself, with each healing I was feeling stronger and clearer, and this was lasting. Each Sacred Esoteric Healing session was like establishing a new foundation within my body for me to build upon. It’s been amazing to truly heal, especially after decades in the new age and nothing actually working long term.

  3. I can so relate to not calling your frozen shoulder a frozen shoulder. I was talking to my colleague at work about an operation I am having soon and I felt a bit of manipulation in the way I was speaking, not wanting to say/hear certain words, and I also felt I was holding back my vulnerability as well. It seems like an avoidance but there lies deeper a greater sensitivity that awaits to be held.

    1. Interesting, this word ‘manipulation’ in this context but very apt indeed. I have found that we generally come with a desire to create a certain impression or achieve a particular outcome and modulate our voice and choose our words and phrases accordingly.

  4. When we connect to our Soul it offers us instant healing and our Soul is constantly trying to connect with us, so why would we be resisting?

    1. We seem to come to a point where we resist the hardest what we want most of all, reconnection and resurrection from the misery of old. We’d rather be identified by what is not than the glory we innately are. Crazy but very real and something like the last battleground, the last hooray of the spirit.

  5. It is so unfortunate that for many the norm is misery and depression. It is even more saddening to feel how most just accept that that is how life is and that coping mechanisms are the way to deal with it. Serge has introduced a way of living that actually raises that standards and quality of living to whole other level completely debasing any form of depression or misery that might have affected us in the past.

    1. How we live, our daily choices have a big impact on our well-being, ‘all to do with taking responsibility for myself and my actions. I learnt and understood that my life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis.’

  6. Wow, thank you so much, there is so much we can learn from this blog because you share how we all have within us the capacity to feel this level of depression because of things that happen in the world, not just in our lives, and how there are a number of ways we can respond. To consider the gentle nurturing love we can bring to ourselves having such a profound effect is a medicine I always want to have in my medicine cabinet.

    1. We can respond or viscerally react to what happens which then determines whether we are the drivers of our life or become the victim of circumstances.

  7. The fact that you never experienced another bout of depression after you saw Serge Benhayon for a Sacred Esoteric Healing session is very profound. This ought to be studied.

    1. I agree Elizabeth, this is incredible. Depression is affecting more and more people and younger people are now being affected too. Healing the root cause of depression by addressing the physical and energetic aspect of this condition I feel is super important. Serge Benhayon is brilliant at understanding the physical and energetic root cause of many illness and disease, and I would not hesitate to see him for a healing session.

  8. Depression comes from the Latin deprimere “to press down”. The etymology of this word reveals the extent to which this state requires constant work on it. It requires a high degree of militancy and commitment.

    1. In utter truthfulness, ‘militancy’ is an apt description for the steely determination to hold on to depression, to hold on to what defines and delineates us.

  9. What the Esoteric Healing Modalities offer us is truly extraordinary. True healing that simply offers and asks the body to reconnect to its original and divine source, with no expectations or judgements.

    1. And no investment in the outcome and therefore no practitioner burnout as the responsibility remains firmly with the recipient of the offering – and that it is, an offering.

  10. Thanks for sharing your story Gabriele, reading through it again it is a profound miracle really to be free of such long term depression, and it also points to the value of the Esoteric Healing modalities. I personally had tried many forms of alternative healing and complementary therapies for decades before finding Universal Medicine, I was literally on the verge of giving up on healing my life at that time because nothing worked long term. From my first experience of Sacred Esoteric Healing at the Level 1 workshop I could feel something quite different in this modality, a true healing and clearing was happening, not a temporary fix, and each session offered me the opportunity to not just heal but go from strength to strength because I was returning also to the true essence of myself within. It’s also different in the sense that Sacred Esoteric Healing doesn’t approach people as broken or to be fixed, rather as amazing, divine, soulful beings that may need support to simply discard what blocks us living that amazingness.

  11. The Esoteric Healing courses offer so much to us in our own personal “toolset” of how to care and nurture ourselves. In this way they are workshops that last forever.

    1. These workshops don’y only last forever they are also a great investment with many returns and compounding interest boot.

  12. It shows that when we really let go of our ideals and believes anything can happen. Change can be immediate but it is always the question of us being willing to go there or not.

    1. So true, we can think we are letting go of an idea and belief but we then have to move it and build a consistency in that freedom of movement so we can feel the difference from our body not just our head.

      1. So true, we love to come up with the realisations but that is the easy part, to truly bring it into our lives is just as simple but can be challenging because we have to look at what is coming up for us around that.

      2. The head cannot feel and thus why movement from the whole body is the only thing that changes our life, what comes towards us and whether we react or respond to what it brings.

  13. This is just amazing, and what support, true support can do. What comes through here is that we have expressions such as ‘life is what you make it etc.’ but we lack the details in how we live this, so hearing ‘life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis.’ is so much more real and tangible and shows the impact of each and every choice we make.

  14. Self Cafe, Self Love,Self Responsibility, knowing that there can be another way, that we are all of energy, this has healed me beyond words and I have also experienced issues, moods, low self esteem, melting away.

  15. It is amazing what can happen when we allow ourselves to come out from under the layers and layers of stuff we have piled upon ourselves for years and meet our true selves. Connection to Soul.

  16. I have the same experience with New Age modalities: ‘everything had only ever scratched the surface and temporarily rearranged the deck chairs on my personal Titanic.’ Nothing really changed in my life until I met Serge Benhayon and started doing the courses from Universal Medicine and from then it only changed for the better on all levels.

  17. It is fascinating how easy we can slip into states of depression simply by our choices and then withdraw from life – we can create an existence where depression is really the only answer. Yet we can equally do the same but with regards to love and as you have shown when we do this without trying the depressive thoughts and actions simply are not a part of it anymore.

    1. Yes, withdrawing from life leaves us at the mercy of the world around us, whereas making ourselves part of the solution is an opportunity to bring ourselves firmly into the picture and our own medicine cabinet.

      1. Withdrawing from life equals victimhood, feeling sorry for oneself and paralysis in the face of what can seem insurmountable; but there is another way and that way is our true medicine.

      2. Very true Lucy and well said – we are essentially masters of our ow destiny and more we choose the love we are the more we carve out the life we love, deserve and have always craved.

  18. Not naming a condition we carry and identifying with it are two possible ways. They are different, yet, in neither case healing is a possibility if this is the relationship we have established with it.

    1. Identification with a label or diagnosis means that, notwithstanding the discomfort, seriousness of the symptoms or even level of pain, we get some mileage out of it, we are recognised and stand out.

  19. Beautiful to read your transformation, when we start to take responsibility for our choices and make more self-loving and supportive ones we realise that we hold a great power within ourselves.

    1. They say that you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink – not unless we make the choice to take responsibility for everything that comes through us, whether that be speech, actions or thoughts, intentions or motives, does the seemingly unsurpassable mountain of inertia and given-upness begin to move and then turns into a series of scalable mole hills.

  20. “Lighter” is a feeling I can relate to, it is like the grip and density that the pressure we feel on us, is without force, offered space and light is the word, more space, an expansion, walking taller. This is the power of Universal Medicine modalities, offer space and with that we expand, heal and clear what needs to clear. I Love them, they are awesome.

  21. What I found very curious in this blog Gabriele was when you shared about your ‘suicidal ideations’ – not because I really wanted to die but because I did not want to live anymore’. It was a very interesting choice of words and is definitely a concept we need to ponder on further to support our unacceptable present day rates of depression, anxiety and suicide statistics.

    1. This could possibly be true for many, i.e. that the wish to end it all is not so much a yes to dying but a no to a certain way of life. If we then learnt that everything is due to our choices, whole new perspectives open up and responsibility becomes a no-brainer.

      1. Wise words Gabriele. I too have had bouts of depression in my life, and can relate to what you say about saying no to a certain way of life. But this approach of learning that everything that happens to us is down to the choices we make in our everyday, could indeed be groundbreaking in relation to treating depression or any other associated ‘mental’ illness for that matter.

  22. When we truly know who we are all depression leaves for we realise that the thoughts that we have entertained for so long are not from us but rather are fed to us!

  23. Thank you Gabriele, your experience with healing your depression after sessions with Serge Benhayon is a testament to what’s in offer when we align back to soul. Equally so we are deeply healed when we live by the love of our soul and begin taking deeper care of ourselves. It’s truly an amazing experience to be connected to our soul and to live by it’s loving impulse. That Serge’s Universal Medicine Therapies and Gentle Breath Meditation also assist with this reconnection to soul is another true blessing for this world.

  24. “My life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis” – this is hugely important to remember. We are far more powerful than what we give ourselves credit for.

  25. The presence of natural energy and enthusiasm is something so precious that nothing can replace it. With the support of Serge Benhayon many people have discovered or even re-discovered this quality within themselves, and the days of exhaustion or even depression are gone.

  26. What a remarkable story Gabriele. It is almost unheard of (to me at least) that depression is something that can be truly healed, but is more likely to be ‘managed’ when it comes to conventional medicine. So to no longer suffer from it when it previously was such an over powering force in your life is something to be very deeply acknowledged and appreciated. What Serge Benhayon offers on every level is almost beyond words.

  27. Re-igniting into my life that we each are of value to society and again discovering that I have a purpose in my life have been instrumental in living without feeling constantly down and out. The depths of depression, I believe I have not ever experienced, but the feeling of living in the dumps was my normal. I could never have brought myself to the point in my life that I am at now without the wisdom that Serge Benhayon has reminded us all of.

  28. And that is proof you can heal depression. It is incredible how a change of energy can make such a big change in your life and how you feel about yourself.

  29. I had to smile when I read your comment about other therapies how they only temporarily rearranged the deck chairs on your personal Titanic. That’s a great way to put it and I have the same experience the moment we take (lovingly) responsibility for our life and the choices we made and make, things start to change without trying.

  30. I also was very depressed throughout my life before coming to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon in my 40’s. I was very depressed as a teenage and my mother made me attend regular sessions with the local doctor to keep check on me. When I look back I consider that it is understandable why one would be depressed trying to live up to our own and other’s expectations and never ever feeling good enough as a result. When I met Serge Benhayon I realised that my true purpose is to simply be myself and that this starts with being able to deeply connect and appreciate my own inner beauty.

    1. What a beautiful line Kathleen, thank you “When I met Serge Benhayon I realised that my true purpose is to simply be myself and that this starts with being able to deeply connect and appreciate my own inner beauty.”

  31. There is so much here to really appreciate and understand, especially as depression in our society is on the rise and affecting people younger and younger. I too experienced depression a lot growing up and felt how much it impacted on my life, relationships and how I viewed myself. But what you are sharing here is that we don’t have to be a victim, we can very much own our choices and bring joy into our life.

    1. As a victim of life and circumstances we don’t have the power to put in place the needed changes; at best we ricochet from one answer to the next, from a good idea to an okay solution. The true answers can’t come from a foundation of victimhood.

      1. Precisely Gabriele, and victimhood further cements our disconnection to Soul and further compresses us into denseness that will never serve anyone.

    2. I experienced most of all the giving up and really not knowing how to change my life. Yet the power we have to bring a change not only in our own life, but also in that of others is immense.

  32. This is a powerful sharing Gabrielle so thank you! When we connect with our soul we understand that which we have identified ourselves with is not it and that we are so much grander and all knowing beings with the opportunity to reflect truth and trust for others to live their full potential in harmony with the all.

  33. Depression is deeply debilitating, it feels like a black hole where there is no exit. Antidepressants cannot be relied upon solely but they offer great support in allowing us more space to feel and to make sense out of the chaos. But most importantly when depression is treated with conventional medical care, is to also work on a connection with ourselves (our soul), to begin to truly feel who we are and to never hold back expressing it.

  34. There is no doubt about it. What Serge Benhayon teaches actually works. How wonderful to find a way out of a lifetime of depression.

  35. Serge Benhayon has never said that what he offers is unique to him – we can all do it if we choose. Now, imagine a divine army of healers trained in the same vein and working hand-in-hand with the medical profession – now wouldn’t that turn our collective health and wellbeing and health care systems around.

    1. That would be an incredible turnaround and support the debt ridden ailing health and mental health arena out of sight.

  36. What a fabulous account of healing from a condition many consider to be permanent, and what a long legacy of family tragedy from which to have broken free. Congratulations Gabriele on the reconnection to your soul and the reclaiming of your life – this is a very inspiring read.

  37. This is a remarkable story of how easily depression can be healed when we connect with our soul.

  38. Amazing Gabriele! Wow, what a turnaround – from a debilitating depression to a new lease on life as the power expressive woman you are today.

  39. The power of love offers the opportunity to choose a loving way to live with yourself and others. A Ray of Divine light shining through the dark cloud of depression.

  40. It’s quite amazing – that when we do not focus on the ill behaviour but give attention to living lovingly, true miracles take place. In other words, when we fill ourselves with love by living in line with who we are then there is no emptiness to fill with the ill behaviours and choices.

    1. That is a great way of putting it. When there is no emptiness inside, there is no need to seek or pull in behaviours or entities.

  41. Gabriele; thank you for your incredible honesty in the sharing of how life was for you before you met Serge Benhayon. To come from a place where that overpowering wave of depression would, in effect, take you from your life for several months a year for so many years to the depression free woman you are now is so very inspirational. It is a wonderful example of the fact that it is possible to change the many deeply ingrained patterns that often affect our lives. Life doesn’t always have to be as it always has been and Esoteric Healing is, from my and your experience, the modality that will support this transition.

    1. I agree; Esoteric Healing is the only modality I have come across that truly supports the deep shifts that are needed to overcome depression.

  42. “I started to truly heal from deep within to the point that I now actually forget that I had been so badly affected by depression for nearly forty years of my life.” This is beautiful to hear, I can also relate to what you share about depression,I too suffered form depression twice a year until I met Serge, I haven’t experience any since my journey of healing too.

    1. Just goes to show the depth and power of Esoteric Healing and of the personal choices we make, once we know or can feel that there is a way out.

  43. Thanks Gabriele for sharing your story. Depression is a global illness and yet despite the numbers suffering from it, and the billions poured into research and drugs to fix it, the fixes are only ever temporary solutions. To truly heal anything, the answer is always within us – and that is where we need to remember to always look first. The modalities offered by Universal Medicine provide some amazing tools and support to help to do this, and as you’ve showed – depression need not plague someone for the rest of their life.

  44. What a turn around of your life Gabriele, having tried so many ‘things’ previously, all to no avail, and to now with Serge Benhayon’s support, forget what used to plague you, ‘With the help of Serge’s sessions, other practitioners at the Universal Medicine clinic and the Esoteric Healing workshops, I started to truly heal from deep within to the point that I now actually forget that I had been so badly affected by depression for nearly forty years of my life.’

  45. Absolutely Gabriele, ‘I learnt and understood that my life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis.’

  46. This is a great story. To be healed so deep, to a point that you even forget that you had been affected by depression for such a long time. When what doesn’t belong to us gets removed, what does belong gets revealed and it is actually normal to be feeling amazing.

  47. Gabriele reading of how you healed the depression in your life is deeply inspiring to read, anyone battling similar conditions knows the intensity of depression and how this impacts on your life in many ways. To have the true care and support of Serge Benhayon and the esoteric healing modalities is a powerful combination that allows the space for the body to truly heal – thank you for sharing.

  48. Wow Gabriele, forty years is a long time with a condition and after a short time this was healed. I can relate. I was diagnosed with severe depression and was in and out of it for over 10 years. I was triggered by when I first started to smoke pot, and the addition of binge drinking alcohol and heavy metal music. Attending Universal Medicine I was lifted out of this diagnosis almost immediately. I then too had to deal with the why I became in that state which took my responsibility to heal. It is extraordinary but simple how the principles and the healing modalities supported me when nothing conventional in health did.

  49. This is an extraordinary story and shows how even with the expectation that depression is for life, can be shifted. Sacred esoteric healing does have profound effects on the body, restoring and deeply healing old patterns. Best of all it restores our connection to soul, the missing of which most of us suffer.

    1. Yes Fiona – our first and foremost suffering is the lack of connection to our soul, our true and divine self. From here, we can get caught in stories of hurt and victimised by the world and put layers on top of this initial step away from ourselves and God. Coming back to our body and connection can melt away all the other ‘issues’ we’ve created.

  50. Thank you Gabriele. Your story is deeply inspiring and shows that it is possible to turn around a lifetime of depression. When I reflect on my own life I can see how I was doing everything and anything to avoid feeling that pit of emptiness and deep despair – running around from activity to activity, losing myself in work, relationships, social activities to not feel what was underneath that – the anxiety and sadness at the world being the way it is, and the fear of emptiness of not feeling connected to it, or myself, at all. To come back from that, by starting to look after myself, being gentle in my every movement, has meant that I’ve started to re-connect to my body and know that I am more than my physical body. That the emptiness is only a choice not to feel the connection to something greater – a sense of stillness and solidity within, and through that, a connection to everything else.

    1. Thank you, I appreciate and am touched by the way you describe how looking,searching and running around to find some meaning in life played out then and how it is for you now. What we were looking for is not found outside of us, that’s the secret that is no secret in truth.

  51. This is enormous what you are sharing here and what a blessing to have your story out here as there are so many who live under the cloud of depression and think they have to live with it until they die. What Serge Benhayon presents is more than just a different way of life it is the answer to all the woes that we have created.

  52. An incredible story of healing Gabriele… the esoteric healing modalities are so powerful, I have never seen anything like them in my 30 years of experience in natural medicine. To alleviate such a chronic condition from the first session is unheard of in any other therapy to my knowledge, and yet I see the same thing happen over and over with the healing modalities taught through Universal Medicine.

    1. Yes, the Esoteric Therapies in their true and unadulterated form are the best and truest forms of healing available anywhere.

  53. Reading this brings to me a deep felt appreciation of just how powerful the choices we make in life are. One simple choice to attend a session with Serge Benhayon supported you to change your life exponentially. Nothing speaks louder than our ability to choose our next steps in life.

  54. Quite amazing – what you describe I would guess is the life for many yet no one seems to be able to show that there is another way. Serge is very special in that sense, he just is and things change. One could say miraculously but maybe it’s actually our natural way of being.

    1. I agree with the last statement – that this is actually our natural way of being; and one that we resist the most, as ludicrous as that sounds. And this is what is for me ‘special’ about Serge Benhayon, the fact that he is not special at all but shows us the way and the fact that our true nature is of divine origin.

      1. I know, that last thing I wrote where I said that it “maybe” our natural state I want to rephrase to say that it’s definitely our natural state. As is my own experience from when I was little.

  55. This is definitely a miracle, just one of many accounts I have heard of people, with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners turning around a lifetime of debilitating patterns and conditions to live truly free of their previously dominating and all-pervading influence… no survivors here, but a return towards the truth of who they are.

    1. “No survivors here” … yes, surviving a condition feels more like limping along and making the best of it rather than living a full and vital life.

  56. I never knew this about you, I find this story to be a miracle, I can’t believe that so many people that have suffered from intense depression like you come out the other end completely healed after meeting Serge Benhayon and either having sessions of attending presentations, surely this is something that should be studied. What Universal Medicine presents is the possibility that life is medicine, all of this is done with a very pro mainstream medicine approach. When you think about it though, if humanity truly embraced these philosophies it would have a huge impact it would have on the biggest industry we currently have in the world beside weapons and fire arms, Pharmaceuticals! If we were all empowered to look at our choices and only use Pharmaceuticals as a support but not as a solution then the world would be a very different place.

  57. ‘Rearranged the chairs on my personal Titanic’ – I love that… it is such a great analogy for the modalities that only seem to make a difference on the surface, and only temporarily, but do not address or truly change the deep hurts that can consume us. Your story of healing and recovery through taking responsibility for your actions and choosing to make your life the way you wanted after meeting Serge, is truly remarkable.

  58. This is by any count an amazing story. Depression is like a wall you cannot go pass. It is like a condemnation to remain looking at the wall. Medicine does not have any answer regarding you and the wall. When an a amazing esoteric practitioner (in this case Serge) puts his hands on someone, the practitioner is always able to look beyond the wall and know deep inside that the person does not belong there. From that place the healing takes place. This is totally different from other healing modalities that make it about the wall and you.

    1. Great points, thank you –depression does indeed feel like a wall and a prison that one just gets used to for lack of true alternatives other than managing it as best as possible.This is, of course, until an esoteric practitioner comes along and addresses the person and the underlying causes rather than the wall, as you say.

  59. It’s funny (yet not really), that we humans seem to be the only species that struggle so much in life yet we are supposed to be very evolved and intelligent. I’m not saying that in a derogatory way but it is something we should consider, at least that is what I think. We live by many concepts that we think are true yet our quality of life does not reflect much truth. Going deeper within ourselves is the key here I think.

    1. Yes, great point – how intelligent are we really and what has this intelligence delivered? On a worldwide scale our merits include depression, obesity, wars, torture, paedophilia, diabetes and cancer, to name just a few. Have we been backing the wrong intelligence?

      1. Seems like it. But the hard part seems to be to admit that we are on the wrong track. It’s almost as if the intelligence that has delivered all the merits you mention is holding us in its grip and has no intention of letting go. In this case I guess we are the ones that has to let go of it and not the other way round.

      2. I agree with you, it is up to us to fess up, become honest and drop our pride. And what have we got to lose? Depression, obesity, wars, torture, paedophilia, diabetes and cancer, to name just a few – wouldn’t we want to get rid of those? And again, what have we got to lose?

  60. This is an incredible story Gabriele and hugely inspirational, showing just what depth of healing is possible when we have willingness to look at how we live on a daily basis.

  61. So beautiful to read about your healing of depression, a huge number of people live with depression on a daily basis making life a miserable journey. the miracles that come from Universal Medicine and Esoteric modalities are just amazing.

  62. Wow Gabriele what you share about healing your depression is a little miracle for me. I am working in this health area and I’ve never seen such a healing. Thank you so much for sharing your healing story as it helped me in my daily work – now I know that such a healing from a deep depression is possible.

  63. Gabriele I’m usually a skin-reader but I couldn’t take my eyes off your blog. So many people feel depressed but never actually address it, it’s a bit like feeling down has become an accepted normal but it’s so far away from the truth and the glory and the beauty that’s just beneath it. Your blog is ultimate proof Universal Medicine modalities work.

  64. Thank you Gabriele, I feel deeply touched by your sharing, this blog is deeply inspiring to all who read this, especially those that may be going through similar things.

  65. absolutely amazing! Depression and mental health conditions are deeply linked to issues we carry in our body – a study on this would do wonders for the world of mental health! Your case clearly demonstrates after having repeated esoteric healing sessions – addressing the root cause of your depression and changing the way you live , can aid in restoring one to their natural harmonious and vital state!

  66. “I never chose to have medication, having observed clients and friends go on anti-depressants and the ensuing fog that seemed to come between them and the unrelenting blackness” how accurate, I have worked briefly in the mental health Nursing sector and also observed this to be the case, clients who have been a part of the health service for years have not recovered and seem in just as much trouble as ever!

  67. Gabriele, in a world where depression is a global issue your story offers significant support to those wishing to be rid of the “black void” as you call it. Your story is validation of the effectiveness of Sacred Esoteric Healing and Universal Medicine Therapies, as well as self care and The Way of the Livingness in improving mental health and overall wellbeing.

  68. It takes a lot of energy to be depressed, exhaustion and depression can be a very deliberating cycle that feeds one another, thank you Gabriele for your honest blog and your courage to look and deal with the root cause.

  69. Thank you Gabriele for such an honest blog. Medication can be a great short term support for people suffering depression to get them back on their feet to be able to take responsibility to learn to love themselves deeply and let go of the hurts that are underlying the depression.

  70. An amazing and beautiful turn-around Gabriele. With the healing modalities presented by Serge Benhayon this can be a normal every day occurrence . My own experience with anxiety has shown this very thing.

  71. Thank you Gabriele for sharing your remarkable story of recovery from depression. The world needs to know there is another way through depression that does not involve being zonked out on medication for years. I also suffered from depression until, like your self, I met Serge Benhayon and the practitioners of Universal Medicine, with their love and support I was able let go of my hurts and take responsibility for myself and my healing by accepting that which I had created, and by choosing to see and feel differently, allowing me to build a foundation of love, totally releasing me from the depression that had dogged me for years.

  72. This is so inspirational Gabriele and just shows the power and healing of self-love. Imagine the burden we would release from the current health system if self-care and self-love became an integral part of medical treatment…

  73. Thank you Gabriele for sharing how with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine you reconnected to your Soul and in taking responsibility for yourself and your actions that you have been able to make life what you make it by the way you live on a daily basis; a life lived with a foundation of true love with no black cloud of depression. Evolution back to the love we all innately are.

    1. Taking responsibility for myself and my actions is what it was all about for me and that has never changed; true and lasting change is not possible when we consider ourselves to be mere recipients of life.

  74. Beautiful to re-read your blog Gabriele and to be reminded of the power of taking responsibility, healing our hurts and connecting to our Soul the doorway to which is offered by Esoteric Healing. How glorious you must feel in your body now without the ills of depression.

    1. It is certainly a world of difference, between depression and the way I live today. I mainly forget that I ever had depression, that’s how far removed from my present reality it feels.

  75. This blog is truly a powerful example that shows humanity that there is another way to live that stops us becoming another statistic.

  76. Gabriele I appreciate your honest and open sharing of your battle with depression, their is no doubt of the effectiveness of the healing modalities and presentations of Universal Medicine combined with the taking of responsibility of our lives as you have displayed

  77. Gabriele this sentence describes beautifully how Serge Benhayon brings wisdom that when heard triggers a remembering and inner knowing of truth within us too. ‘That nothing happens by chance is a concept I had always embraced as natural and self-evident, but the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine made this much clearer and provided the background, foundation and science to something I had somehow always known.’ Serge Benhayon however does not only remind us of our shared truth, he lives this truth and shares how others can live this way too.

    1. Yes, Serge Benhayon shows by reflection that others can live this responsibility as well and that it is a far greater and liberating way to live.

  78. You have had so much happen to you… This shows what inner strength is capable when we connect to Soul, nothing is too large for us. Just remember connect, connect and connect.

    1. Thank you but I would like to say that it doesn’t feel like anything has happened to me that I have not been the creator of. And that is what made the difference in the end – taking responsibility for the situation I found myself in and extricating myself bit by bit, one recognition, awareness and choice at a time.

    1. What just occurred to me is the fact that it does not just apply to depression but is even more far reaching because it concerns anyone who ever feels morose, downtrodden, despondent, maudlin and all the many other words we use to describe a state of being that is anything but the vitality and joy that we can live. It seems that we perceive as ‘normal’ that joy and vitality are not our daily ingredients – and that says a lot about where we are as a humanity.

  79. “In the years following my first Esoteric Healing session with Serge I learnt a lot from attending the Esoteric Healing courses; about how I could look after myself better and make changes that had nothing to do with a modification of behaviour or better coping mechanisms, but all to do with taking responsibility for myself and my actions. I learnt and understood that my life is what I make it by the way I live on a daily basis.” I too learned this – taking responsibility and consistently committing – to me – on a daily basis. We can make a different choice in every moment – and thus a difference to our day.

    1. And making a choice in every moment which makes a difference to our day then leads to a total change of one’s life, one that was never deemed possible.

  80. I loved reading your blog again Gabriele, it is amazing how with four Esoteric Healing sessions you broke the cycle of depression you were before totally governed by.

    1. It is true and a great reminder for me of where I’ve come from – and easy to forget at times as I now live new ‘normal’ every day, year in year out.

  81. I feel your steady connection through your words here Gabriele, you are a miracle, 40 years of depression is a huge chunk of your life, the power of self-loving choices plain to see in your complete turn-around as described here. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting us with another way of being in this world.

  82. This is such an important read for everyone Gabrielle. There are few who would even consider that it was possible to heal a depressive illness after 40 years but this is an absolute testament to the fact that it can be done and not only that but that life can be lived joyfully when we take responsibility and heal our hurts.

  83. This is a remarkable account of the power of Sacred Esoteric Healing combined with your willingness to make some changes to how you were looking after yourself Gabrielle. The circumstances you describe Gabrielle in some cases would be treated with a combination of drugs and therapy and may be a lengthy process. While there is a valid place for these other kinds of treatments your personal case study presents a form of support that has so much promise it is worth further investigation and even research to gather data and the results in similar cases.

    1. Medication certainly has its place, especially when it goes hand in hand with addressing the root cause of a condition, as does Esoteric Healing.

  84. It reminds me of depression episode in my late twenties. I used to sleep up to fourteen hours a day in between full time job. When I felt I need a professional help I went to see a doctor. He asked me one question :” Are you married?” I replayed Yes. He said:” Get divorced.” And it was it, the end of the visit. Not much help though.
    For the next twenty or so years I had periods of depression sometimes up to three months (despite my divorce) especially in winter (not as bad as yours, Gabriele, nevertheless) and I remember during those times the same kind of thoughts coming to my mind-I don’t want to kill myself but I don’t want to live. Sometimes I wished that I have some incurable illness so it would be a good excuse to go.
    I had one session with Serge Benhayon seven years ago. At the end of the session after my long speech and hands on healing he asked me:”What did you feel?” My answer was: “Love”. For the first time in my life I knew what love feels like.
    Soon after I attended one day UniMed workshop in June and eight months later (early spring) went to the retreat. Only after retreat I noticed that I didn’t have any signs of depression that year. And all the following years it never came back, even though I had mild mood swings I could easily come out very quickly.
    I would call it “Usual Miracles”-all the things we are able to heal ourselves from with loving support from Serge and Universal Medicine practitioners.

    1. Such a similar experience in how your depression also disappeared as a result of what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offer and the different choices we make.

  85. Gabriele, what you share is really touching me related to my personal story of depression (even, if I have never allowed me to name it like that) embedded in growing up in Germany and the fact, how you have changed it up to a point where you can say today it isn’t relevant any more. “And that was your soul…” Maybe depression is mainly not allowing oneself – for whatever reason – to stay connected with the soul…

  86. Gabriele what an extraordinary story to read. Your 40 years of depression truly healed with the support of Serge Benhayon and the Esoteric Modalities. The changes you made in your life are deeply inspiring and reminds us what is possible when we allow ourselves to live the love we naturally are. In my book this is a true miracle thank you for sharing.

  87. Gabriele, I love how matter of fact you are about such a massive transformation you have made, and sharing in this way reflects the depth of honesty you live, thank you.

    1. Your comment reminds me of how miserable I used to feel; it is so easy to forget, it’s nearly like another person’s life story. So thanks for the reminder and the confirmation.

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