By Rebecca Baldwin, Internet Professional, Goonellabah, NSW
Lately I have seen some pretty horrific treatment of women. I have watched some close female friends get belittled, intimidated and demeaned online and off, and in the national mainstream media.
Mostly this has been instigated by ‘Keyboard Cowards’. Men who use text messages, emails and blogging to debase, harass and intimidate their former partners, and when they are called to account they act as though it’s ‘dramatic’ to call this abuse.
But Keyboard Cowards are not representative of all men, and in fact in recent times I have been more inspired by real men in real life.
As women, we are in good company when there are men that are man enough to say that no amount of intimidation and abuse towards women is acceptable. This is not about being unrealistic or expecting perfection. But how far has the mark of decency been moved when misogyny is not even seen as such?
We need true dialogue between men and women to truly heal, but when you paint a woman as weak and mindless and stupid, you paint her out of the picture and out of the conversation altogether. And that has been the so-far successful tactic of the Keyboard Cowards in their hate campaign: because what they think is a heroic crusade against Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is in actuality a war of words that has been waged on their wives and daughters – the ‘stupid, easily manipulated women’ – that are essential to be seen as such by the public at large in order to support their obsession that Serge has magical powers of mass mind control.
But it is not all doom and gloom. What inspires me is that there ARE men that are not blinded by their own hurt and hate. There are men with a true understanding of what does and does not constitute abuse. My brother-in-law recently had firm words to a guy for speaking horribly about his girlfriend, in a social situation, with his girlfriend present. This gave the woman a moment to stop and see that the type of treatment she had been living with for many years was not ok. It took the care of another man to really highlight this for her: because in that moment she did not make excuses for her partner’s constant put-downs, and instead saw that it was his choice to be that way. After all, here was a man she was not in a relationship with treating her with more love and respect than her own partner. She described it as a wake-up call that was a long time coming.
There are men like this the world over – those who know what love and care does and does not look like, and who aren’t afraid to call it. These are men worth celebrating; these are the men that constantly inspire me.
It seems we live in a world where it actually takes courage to speak up for women. You will certainly run the risk of being in the line of fire if you do. Often we see men ostracised for breaking some kind of imaginary allegiance to other men, but perhaps really it is because they show other men up. A man that respects women naturally gets the respect of women. Does this cause jealousy amongst other men? Sadly, it is a given.
Serge Benhayon often presents on what does and does not constitute abuse towards women. His work in the area of complementary women’s health is nothing short of revelatory. Thousands of women who have encountered him as a practitioner or presenter have benefited from his simple but comprehensive teachings on the importance of self-nurturing and true self-care. The Esoteric Breast Massage (founded by Serge Benhayon, but only ever strictly practised by female practitioners) has made a massive impact on women’s health on a global scale.
What a sad world we live in when a man who inspires women to develop greater self-care and self-honour is almost automatically treated with suspicion, fear and contempt. It is indicative of men’s deep distrust in themselves and other men that they would misconstrue his work as being part of some massive conspiracy to breed himself an army of submissive automaton women to use for his own self-gain. But the eye can only see through the veil of its own prejudice. Men who behave in a controlling way will only see control. And so, they get blind-sided to the obvious questions.
To anyone familiar with Serge’s work their arguments make little sense. For instance, if Serge Benhayon is such a master manipulator and ‘just in it for himself’, why would he go to all the effort of creating all the modalities and healing courses? Why work the 14 hour days?
And of course, then there is the more obvious question – if Serge Benhayon is such a charismatic leader who has such a ‘Svengali-like sway on women’, why not just be a Tantra guru? The amazing and deeply disturbing truth is that were he a Tantra guru, he would not be as highly scrutinised as he is now. A friend recently told me of a popular Tantra guru who initiates his women devotees by doing them the favour of allowing them to have sex with him?! Wow! Why aren’t the current Serge-haters on a crusade to ‘bring down’ that guy?
It is a reality that women are careful with men, especially male practitioners, as there are those who can’t be trusted. Many women recommend Serge to their friends based on their own experience of the absolute integrity of his practice – in his Esoteric Healing courses Serge instructs all practitioners on the importance of hand positioning when working on a woman’s heart. The hand is never laid flat to ensure at no stage will the practitioner’s fingers inadvertently make contact with a woman’s breast.
So why, when so many women over a 12 year period have found him to have total integrity in this regard, have the hate-campaigners tried desperately to suggest otherwise by exploiting people’s pre-programmed mistrust of men with lies and vicious rumour?
The fact is, when you have nothing on a guy, you have to drum up lies and incite fear and start rumours to avoid the truth that is too painful to see. But this begs the question: why, if there is nothing there, have these guys been given such airtime in the media?
Why did the media lap up their story that a bunch of stupid women were under the hypnotic influence of a dangerous and controlling man? Because apart from the obvious entrenched sexism in the media that saw the ‘women as stupid’ as natural and without question, there was a misandry here that has not been examined. The fact is, it is almost universally assumed that if a man has an opportunity to, it is expected that he will take advantage of women. This points to a deep contempt for men that is rife in society. What is ironic here though, is that this misandry towards Serge Benhayon did not come from the many hundreds of female clients who attend his sessions regularly – it mostly came from men and from the media.
I for one will not support this kind of baseless assumption about him or any man. Their actual tangible behaviour, and not a pre-conceived notion, is what I use to discern the men in my life. It is based on their choices and their character. And I know some amazing men who do not treat other men with this kind of contempt; who recognise true care because they know it in themselves.
And I celebrate the men everywhere who choose tenderness over hardness, and have the courage to choose care, love and responsibility over jealousy, hurt and blame. These are the men who are healing the deep distrust that the world has for men. These are the men who are quietly turning the tide. And their strength and dedication is just one of the many reasons why I will never stop loving men.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Rebecca this is what can happen, it starts when we are children, it seems to be a generational occupation.
“but when you paint a woman as weak and mindless and stupid, you paint her out of the picture and out of the conversation altogether.”
This was my experience growing up, that girls should be seen, but not heard. I do not blame my parents for this, as my father was brought up to believe that women were second class citizens and this is why it continues generation after generation until we realise that women have an equal place along side men.
You ask a very good question Rebecca
‘A friend recently told me of a popular Tantra guru who initiates his women devotees by doing them the favour of allowing them to have sex with him?! Wow! Why aren’t the current Serge-haters on a crusade to ‘bring down’ that guy?’
My take on this is that the Tantra Guru has not disturbed the consciousness that prevails in our society, so is not seen as a threat. Serge Benhayon exposes the abusive consciousness that we are all choosing, in the exposure we have been given a different choice. What we do with the choice is up to us. If enough people choose to make changes to their lives by becoming more honest with themselves, heal their hurts etc., this changes the balance of energy and when this occurs the prevailing abusive consciousness uses bullying tactics to shut down the source of change. It has been all out trying to stop Serge Benhayon for years now; it cannot shut down the source because the source is the universe and nothing can shut that down. We are being shown through everyday life that we have been lied to on every level the choice is ours whether we believe it or not. To me it’s not about Serge Benhayon it’s about the energy he is aligned and obedient to, That’s what the abusive consciousness wants to shut down. So then the question has to be why is the abusive consciousness so hell bent on squashing the truth, if it has nothing to hide?
“And I celebrate the men everywhere who choose tenderness over hardness, and have the courage to choose care, love and responsibility over jealousy, hurt and blame. These are the men who are healing the deep distrust that the world has for men. These are the men who are quietly turning the tide. And their strength and dedication is just one of the many reasons why I will never stop loving men.” Most beautifully said.
When a man wears his heart on his sleeve it is time to consider that life will eventually open to where we all openly live with the true fragility and tenderness that is innate with-in all equally.
It is not gender thats the main variable that accounts for keyboard abusing, but movement. You can only go there, if your movements are not just governed by a tremendous unsettlement inside, but also by the tension this creates, which you try to get rid of, by sharing it graciously, without realizing that this only feeds back to you, in addition of harming others.
What a great celebration of the tenderness and care men can bring and in fact naturally are, and yes a huge appreciation for all who stand up and call out abuse where-ever they see it.
When a man is in his heart, it brings an enormous beauty to this world. His solidness is a blessing. We all know he is there and will be there always for us.
Great blog Rebecca, it is beautiful to see men choose to be gentle and tender, and I love how they are going against the ‘norm’ of how men are perceived to be in today’s society.
Keyboard cowards with their unrestricted and unrestrained abuse are increasingly becoming a detriment to our society so much so that all governing bodies can no longer ignore its harmful ripple effect which is devastating to far too many of us in its wake of destruction.
This is such an interesting piece of writing and deeply reflective of the larger picture of what’s happening in society with and between both genders. And how Serge Benhayon, a man of deep integrity that doesn’t use or abuse women has become a target for attack, perhaps by others who themselves cannot stand such a reflection of integrity when their own needs work. How normal must abuse be when it’s defended by attacking a man who does not abuse?
Keyboard cowards abound in cyber space and their outpourings are founded on their unhealed deep hurts. The assaults might appear to give momentary relief and reprieve from the pain but this beast demands frequent feeds (repeat abuse) and thus, the wounds keep festering.
Hear, hear Rebecca . . . you say it straight just how it is. You have exposed all that needs exposing in this brilliant piece of writing . . .the archaic attitudes the press hold toward both women and men. . . the inability some men have to accept their part in a relationship breakdown and jealousy that gets direct at anyone who is treating another in the way we should be treating each other as a given – with the absolute respect and the highest integrity that Serge Benhayon as made his norm.
“the eye can only see through the veil of its own prejudice.” It is the deeply ingrained prejudices that are exposed and challenged by Serge Benhayon that cause a reaction in those who are not prepared to know the truth.
Thank you Rebecca for calling it as it is. We all know truth, and when we hear it, we feel the depth of it within ourselves – and the extent to which we ourselves have or haven’t called it out.
Thank goodness there are men who are now living this way, ‘ I celebrate the men everywhere who choose tenderness over hardness, and have the courage to choose care, love and responsibility over jealousy, hurt and blame. These are the men who are healing the deep distrust that the world has for men. These are the men who are quietly turning the tide.’ This is so needed and such a blessing for all.
Absolutely, no amount of abuse is acceptable, ‘As women, we are in good company when there are men that are man enough to say that no amount of intimidation and abuse towards women is acceptable.’
It is very sad there are so many men (and women) who live in a way that totally contradicts their true essence and we think that is how they are naturally, and they themselves do not even realise that is what’s they are doing. I certainly didn’t know that myself.
All-time blog (should have its own website) about what it is to be a true man, and how society has shaped us. Both men and women are responsible for how men are today we cannot deny that. If we closely looked deeply into our relationships there is an abuse of some kind – I know many times I have been guilty of that but not meaning it so it is just how it was. All because I was not honoring the deeply loving tender sensitive man I was / am.
Many pearls of wisdom, sentence after sentence from an amazing woman Rebecca Baldwin, who is one of many leading the way in revolutionary defining Women’s Health (http://www.esotericwomenshealth.com).
All this came about from a group of men trying to deface a real man leading the way in bringing relationships back to love and evolution, and not the deep-seeded arrangements based on need we are all suckers for. A must read again and again – much to be gained!
Thank you Rebecca, you are showing us that there is never ever a reason to hate or mistrust someone based on another experience you had in life. This opened my eyes, that I have looked with judgement and that I held quiet judgement towards man, simply because I had some experience with men before that were very unloving and deceitful. Hence. I better work on these instances and heal them, and always be open to every men I meet. Never to close up my heart again. Simply letting go it is. And I trust this might support other too.
Thank Rebecca for sharing this, it is great exposure on the nonsense been spread about Serge Benhayon. Everyone who as met him or been to any of his presentation will know he has most love and integrity for humanity. He is sharing with everyone how he has improved his health through his loving choices. He is not out to break any families.
I deeply appreciate the balance you have brought to this blog Rebecca – that it is in no way ‘all men’ who can be painted with such a brush, and that there are indeed men who do not need to put down or falsely label women. The painting of female students of Universal Medicine as some ‘blind’ or ‘stupid’ followers – essentially ‘automatons’ as you’ve said, is so off the scale ridiculous – yet what an insidious tactic, designed to render nought the voices of women who know the truth of the integrity at play here, to the bone…
We could say then, that the man who needs to so falsely label others, or diminish his partner as you described, is not a man claimed in himself. He is not a man who holds others, including women, as equal to he, and one who due to what he has refused to deal with within, plays out such dominating and ill behaviours. It’s well time that we collectively said ‘no’ to such behaviour. It does not represent the capacity we all actually hold within – to express and behave with love, and nothing less.
Your words here Rebecca, about control preferring to see control, even where there is none, resonate deeply. How hurt is the man who cannot bear to let himself see the truth of another man living in and by a deeper integrity than he? And then needing to pull out one of the classic armaments of control, i.e. to invent, fabricate and completely misconstrue the truth of that man – essentially, attempt to obliterate the ‘enemy’ of his tightly held dominion.
It is really sad that these men have such a horrible presumption about other men. Their thoughts must be dark indeed if they presume the worst of every man. We are so blessed to have some really awesome men around us and especially blessed to have Serge Benhayon inspiring all who appreciate what he brings.
An extraordinary piece of writing that exposes the rot spread about Serge Benhayon as well as that about women associated with UM by those who indeed see through the veil of their own prejudice… The truth needed to be highlighted alongside the reiteration that no amount of intimidation and abuse towards women is acceptable… to chip slowly away at the misogyny that permeates our society.
The men I know amongst the students of Universal Medicine have been an enormous healing ground for me — because now I know the truth about every man. The tenderness that is there, the care they innately have. So now, any time I interact with a man, I can see them, the real them, underneath the armour o protection so many men carry as they bustle up to be something they are actually not in our world today. I have let men in, I have let humanity in, and that is because of one man’s love for humanity that knows no bounds and no limits. That man is Serge Benhayon.
This is brilliant Rebecca, all men have a responsibility, as do women to hold every other in respect as an absolute equal. It seems inevitable if one does not have respect and love for oneself it is impossible to convey this in truth to another… and instead we get bastardised versions of love and intimacy, which in reality are no more than fulfilling needs and social arrangements that we contract with each other to not rock the boat. And so when a man comes along and exposes the emptiness and self-delusion of these games, there may be some who will put up a fight to resist the truth that inevitably must one day come to them. Far better to choose honesty and start to admit to ourselves the games that we play.
The believe that when men take advantage of women it is coming from the times when men lived from ‘animalistic’ energy only. Unfortunately there are many men that still chose that kind of energy. After all it is a choice to go in that kind of energy. The good news is that there more and more men that choose a different kind of energy where taking advantage of women just isn’t there.
It is truly something to celebrate the men in the world who are choosing sensitivity and love over hardness and protection in their daily living. These men are beacons of light for all men and women and they are growing in numbers every day.
There is an enormous amount of healing that has has to be done and men choosing tenderness over hardness and sharing this with each other is an important step towards getting balance back in our world.
I love this blog Rebecca, thank you. This part stood out in particular for me today – “…how far has the mark of decency been moved when misogyny is not even seen as such?” – pause for thought with that one.
As a woman I have never felt more respected than by Serge Benhayon. He has presented how sacred and precious we are, how important it is that we self nurture, and his daughter Natalie is leading the way in Women’s Health and well-being. It is weird that he should ever be a target for any accusations of wrong doing when there is not a shred of evidence to support the claims.
It’s so true what you write here Rebecca, not only is this an attack on women but equally on men as well. To portray women as weak is the obvious abuse but to then portray men as having in their nature being agressive or always wanting to dominate or take advantage of women is the unspoken abuse that also carries on. This tactic plays right into the perceptions we carry that because one has hurt us or acted in an unloving way then all are tarred with the same brush. When we shut off from the first unloving movments we experience we are left in those memories without being able to see before us the way people are now and that not everyone chooses to act in the excact same way. Which had been true of Serge Benhayon he is like no man I have ever met and from his inspiration I have experienced many more men who are choosing to be Gentle-Men.
Great call Rebecca. Your very last paragraph reveals the deep issues at play. Women, and men, in their power are so very needed. And those that aren’t afraid of the intimidation, harassment and even abuse that can be experienced are slowly turning this around and reminding us that we are powerful and we do make a difference.
“The amazing and deeply disturbing truth is that were he a Tantra guru, he would not be as highly scrutinised as he is now.” This is disturbing and part of so many other things that we allow each other to do like eating fast food, trashing ourselves with alcohol etc. Most people are more allowing of that than of people making loving food choices or like Serge Benhayon truly supporting people to live a supportive life.