I Dared To Be Open And Choose To Be Me

by Caroline Reineke, The Netherlands

When I look back at my life, I see myself as a ‘human doing’ – quick whether in thought, speech or action. I was often rushing, as if I was running through (or away) from life, for whatever reason. In a way, I wanted to be in control. Truly feeling myself or having genuine contact with my body was under-developed territory for me. From an early age I had taught myself to be tough, to not show my vulnerability to anybody. It was just too scary for me, as I was afraid to be exposed – that I was not so tough, but just a girl with feelings as well, and I could feel hurt too. This control or ‘doing-ness’ was, in a way, my shield of protection. It took me a while to realise that this doing-ness was keeping me away from me: this was a painful realisation some years ago. Who am I, if I am not this shield, I wondered?

Since I started to attend the workshops of Serge Benhayon two years ago, I got a glimpse of the feelings and words I had been wondering about. It’s not about doing – what I do or need to do, like being quick in my responses or actions; it’s about who I am, just being me. It sounds so simple, but it was a turn-around for me. I learnt to turn to and connect gently with my body and my breath and just feel. Gradually, I became aware of the fact that ‘I am enough’, and learnt to embrace that. Just being still with me, feeling what there is to feel. That’s enough. Wow!

I can now enjoy myself more. I still experience the doing-ness and the need to control, and can feel when it ‘takes over’. As I am more connected to my body, I can see I have a choice. And this brings me to another big insight: the power of choice. Every day – actually every moment – I can choose; is this (thought, word, action) harming or healing for me/my body? So when I speed up or start to speak quickly and feel I am losing myself, I can feel it’s harming: it just requires a ‘stop it and feel’. But also when I realise, e.g. my body feels stressed, I can choose instantly: what is supportive for me now?

I have taken more responsibility for my body and my choices, including habits and patterns like the doing-ness. I have become more observing and accepting of myself, which is a whole new way from what I used to… do! And last but not least, I am showing more of me now, expressing my feelings, showing my vulnerability in moments. At times I even share with others what I feel, when I don’t know why these feelings are there. I just dare to be open… just being me at that moment. It all adds up to: there is more of ME in each of my relationships now. And as we are all ‘forever students’, it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.

118 thoughts on “I Dared To Be Open And Choose To Be Me

  1. “Human doing” – this is a Pear Caroline! You have just coined a great term. I love it so much that I can’t help but feel – could it be because it rings a bell 🙂

  2. Caroline, I LOVE the new word that you just inspired – there are human-doings and human-beings … those that run around looking for something and then those that stopped and re-connected with the being-ness inside … hahaha – taking this very lightly here, but there is actually so much truth in this. I too have been a human-doing for most of my life (and still get caught out at times) – but most of the time now I am a human-being – enjoying more and more being myself and thus bringing this into the everyday. Life is so much more joyful and fun when we bring ourselves to it and connect with each other. Thank you for this great article.

    1. Yes I agree Desiree, “human-doing” is a great term and describes exactly how I have lived my life before I came across Universal Medicine. It is a very stubborn pattern as well and needs a lot of reminding and support to change around to behave like a human-being again.

  3. What you have written is so true, Caroline, and describes the joyous opening up I have experienced as well since I met Serge Benhayon and started attending courses and workshops with Universal Medicine.
    The common meaning of the word medicine – ‘The science of diagnosing, treating, or preventing disease and other damage to the body or mind.’
    PREVENTION is the key. This is why what Serge presents inspires us to take more care
    * to connect to ourselves, so we can start to feel what is really going on in our bodies
    * to see our choices in life do make a difference to the quality of life we enjoy or not….
    * to see how everything we do and say either harms us and others or not….
    This is why we all keep returning to the inspiration and support Universal Medicine provides for everyone. Why we are ‘forever students’ of ourselves.

  4. Lovely to read your post Caroline, I love the part where you “just dare to be open”, I can relate, it feels the more I am open and speak the truth when it feels like an opportunity to express it, the more I feel of myself. Even just to really truthfully look others in the eye, no matter who they are and what we are doing, every time is another opportunity to choose to be me. Super fun each day I agree.

  5. Having seen you yesterday, after 5 months, I was truly inspired by how different you felt and looked. Then reading your article this morning I can certainly say, how you are “being” and the choices you are making is working.
    Mary-Louise Myers

  6. Thank you for sharing Caroline. I particularly love how you just ‘stop it and feel’ as well as ‘what is supportive for me now’ when you feel yourself in the doing or in harm. A beautiful reminder for All men and women.

  7. This is beautiful thank you Caroline. I loved feeling your discovery that you really are enough and the fun of each day for you ‘being’ more of you in all your relationships. How inspiring and lovely for all those who know you and are yet to know you .

  8. Oooooh that was so funny when I read that you were a human doing – cracked me up as that is exactly who I was – a HUMAN DOING… doh!
    Reading your piece also gave me a deeper insight into how as a child I was already using my control and doing-ness to protect and hide.
    These days I am much more of a human-being than I used to be and less of a human-doing. The doing and being is really related to the energy that I come from and not the external output. I find that from the outer point of view I actually do a lot more when I am being than when I am doing!!!

  9. Thanks of your post Caroline… yes “the power of choice”… is very potent and its ripple effect is massive. I love being a “human being”… it feels so lovely… in sharp contrast to a “human doing”… I clearly know what I choose!

  10. Both hands up to what you write here re the Human-Doing! Thank you Caroline for the simple reminder that we are indeed a human-BEING, so let us BE, just that!

  11. Caroline I can relate to having a life of ‘doing’ where I kept myself busy and never gave myself time to stop. Allowing myself to ‘be’ was foreign, but now the tables are turning. Its lovely to be reminded that I have a choice in every moment to choose, and I have learnt from the presentations of Universal Medicine to replace many harming choices with more self loving ones.

  12. ” I dared to be open and choose me “… This process is the same for me too Caroline and like you, in truly appreciating myself for who I am rather than what I do, I am finding myself opening up more and being more honest in my relationships.

  13. A human doing, what a perfect way to explain who I have been for most of my life, I will remember this the next time I catch myself going into the doing. I could so relate to what you said here Caroline, “Truly feeling myself or having genuine contact with my body was under-developed territory for me. From an early age I had taught myself to be tough, to not show my vulnerability to anybody.” This was how I went through life not wanting to show how I really felt and hardening and numbing myself to everybody in the process. I know I can still fall into this trap so it was lovely to read your log, and a lovely reminder to stay open and be me at every moment.

  14. I can totally relate to having lived as a human-doing rather than a human-being. As I started to re-learn to feel how to just be without having to do anything, often by stopping the doing, and as I build this feeling of me just being, I can catch myself when I go into the doing as it feels draining. Somewhere down the line I adopted the perception that my being and what I am doing cannot be together in the same moment. However, from my experiences with Universal Medicine and all my true role models, I can say that that perception is false. Chipping away at that perception has felt rough at times but the benefits of such work continue to grow.

  15. I can relate so much to the doing-ness and it being a shield to protect. Your question, “Who am I, if I am not this shield, I wondered?” was a huge one for me after giving up kinesiology which I practiced for 15 years. My identification was as a kinesiologist. It was my identification through which I was known and got not only my living but also recognition and acceptance. After I gave it up, I just did not know who I was. Since then it has been an amazing journey of re-connection back to my true-self – the lovely, gentle, tender and loving man I am. All the hurts that I was defending are not yet healed but I am no longer dependent on something I do to identify and know myself by. I am just me.

  16. It is very interesting for me to read the recent blogs and reread my own blog after two years. Great mirror. The human beingness has deepened and I experience a deeper connection with the stillness within me and even so the tender woman I am. And all because I choose to connect with me, my body, every day. Two years later, I am very able to be just be with me whilst in action, like now typing, me in expression. Feeling my fingers touching the screen. At the same time the doingness is still unraveling. I can so relate to what you, Jonathan, say about being identified with your profession. Another subtle doingness. I had the same with all the labels – leadership trainer, team facilitator, work coach – I had. I recently found out that I have certain specific ways of behaving, doing, performing related to these roles. As if I slip into a jacket, a comfortable hiding place and where I got recognition for. A lot of jackets I don’t wear anymore, they are just worn-out or don’t fit anymore. Me is enough. So, I choose now to bring me to work everyday. And now when people ask me what I do, I reply I am with people at the workplace, I listen to them and….be me. A liberating way of speaking; without the labels. My daily practice now is when a jacket unexpectedly goes on, I stop, feel where it is about and then gently take it off, a personal strip-tease.

  17. A very honest account of how it is to be a student. There is less doing and more being, and as you say there is more ME in each relationship and it becomes fun to see what each new day brings. It is a far cry from what we are used to, but the simple awareness and choices bring a whole new meaning to life.

  18. Caroline, I really enjoyed your blog and relate to the “doing-ness” taking up most of my life. To be open and not hold anything to protect me is something I am re-developing. What felt so freeing with your writing is how much allowing there is for developing – instead of needing to have everything perfect.

  19. Boy can I relate to this blog and the human doingness! I love being but I still slide into the doing! Love your ending ‘ it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.’

  20. Simply through stopping and connecting to the gentle breath we get to experience a deeper connection to the stillness within, which allows us to feel our bodies and know ourselves in the beingness, rather than the doingness. Love your last line. “It all adds up to: there is more of ME in each of my relationships now. And as we are all ‘forever students’, it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.’

  21. Your blog is a great reminder to be aware to what extend I am a “human doing” rather than a “human being”. I guess most of us have been caught into the “doingness” of life, so thank you for the “heads up”, Caroline.

  22. Caroline, thank you. Human doing or human being … I very much enjoy the being but do still go into the doing. ” And as we are all ‘forever students’, it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.” I love this line.

  23. The power of choice and knowing that you have that choice is immense. Thank you for expressing your experience in such a relatable way and sharing the fun of it.

  24. Thank you Caroline for a great blog, I have very much been in the doing most of my life, hiding myself away to not feel me, but that also is changing for me now as I allow the true me to emerge. I love your words “I just dare to be open …. just being me at that moment .”

  25. Caroline this is a beautiful expression – thank you. This reflects so much truth for me and how I also have been. I can still fall into the ‘doing-ness’ but now I am aware that this is happening as I can feel that the fullness of my ‘being-ness’ is not present and I can feel a stress or contraction instead. I love how you have ended – ‘And as we are all ‘forever students’, it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.’ so true.

  26. like you I also enjoy connecting with my breath during the day and just feeling how beautiful and simple it is.

  27. A profound blog, thank-you Caroline. I am particularly touched, and called to go deeper within, by your words, “This control or ‘doing-ness’ was, in a way, my shield of protection.” How intensely we can so protect ourselves, and keep others out (and ourselves hidden away) behind the mask of what we ‘do’.
    Are we truly willing to let this go? It is some process, especially when nearly everything in life is geared for us to buy into the ‘doing’, the achievement, attainments, comparing to others’ ‘doing’ and output… You have exposed what this is about at its root, and asked us to consider another way, thank-you.

      1. It is a question I feel is important to ponder upon often… as the layers of identification and seeking approval and protection through ‘the doing’, unravel themselves (if we are willing)…
        Realising how our entrenched identifications in the ‘doing’ can be used as a protection, and an apparent ‘safety’ in the world, is such an important step for us all.

      2. Thank you Victoria and I agree that it is important to ponder on whether we are truly willing to let this go of the mask of what we ‘do’ on a regular basis as I find it can creep back in when I am feeling vulnerable and uncertain. It is a slippery slope towards comparison with others and feeling less than and compelled to try harder to achieve by doing more rather than connecting to my beingness where I am complete.

  28. Life is set up for us to be a human doing and it is so easy to slip into it any time, like you mentioned it is through us choosing to bring more awareness to our bodies that we can stop the doing-ness and focus on our bein-gness and enjoy the connection to ourselves and others alike. Thank you

  29. Caroline, I love how you highlight, in your blog, the power of our choices. This bring home to me the responsibility I have, in every moment, to be vigilent with the choices I am making.

  30. It is just gorgeous that you have written this and in doing so inspire others to know the simplicity and yet power in choosing this for themselves. Awesome.

  31. Beautiful Caroline. Being open and present is something everyone can say they enjoy about another. It’s an amazing thing to redevelop.

  32. A Beautiful Sharing of the progression back to the body’s natural way. There is a vulnerability and fragility that emerges once the choice to opening is chosen. Thank you Caroline for naming and exposing the ‘Doingness’ and its subtle role of Control.

  33. We can all choose the energy that we are living in and once we take responsibility for this choice we become a human ‘being’ rather than a human ‘doing’. Thanks Caroline.

  34. Awesome blog reminding me of the importance of taking stop and feel moments in my day. I like how you now feel more able to express and share more of you in your day, as it can be so easy to present a face when underneath all you feel is to express your truth. Thanks for the reminder to bring me to all that I am.

    1. Thank you Jade, your comment helped me to stop and take stock in this moment. I can feel how I miss out on the things that are most important to me (like my relationships) when I get stuck in the doing race or the withdrawal from life that always seems to follow.

  35. Great relatable post for all ‘do-er’s’ Caroline (!) Yes as i’ve experienced too, it’s not about not doing, but more the quality in which we do it, i.e. whether the ‘doing’ is connected and in-time with ourselves, or not and leaving someone behind through the speed. When we slow down the zippiness and allow people to be with us, then they get to see us… the quickness as you say hinders this sight, and has much to do with being ok with ourselves (self-acceptance) in the present moment i.e. neither racing ahead nor hiding behind.

  36. Developing a more thorough relationship with oneself is without doubt the most amazing thing to feel and play. Realising that one is enough is a great one. A great platform to unfold from.

  37. What I am observing in the sharing of this blog and in life is that we have been so caught up in getting things done, of meeting an expectation or goal outside of ourselves, usually one we have set, based on what society states is achieved by a successful ‘Human Being’. By coming back to connecting with ourselves which involves the ‘revelation that we are not the role we fulfil, all life, every breath, and movement live from inside us brings the most beautiful perfection. Serge Benhayon has lived this first and then through Universal Medicine offered what he has learnt. I feel blessed to have had exposed to me the awareness that there is a choice. I am no longer a slave to all that happens outside of me and like you have discovered Caroline – we can choose to be students of ourselves and in deepening this – release all the regrets, cravings, resentment, comparison and jealousy. Living from within first is an amazing and one of the most important things we can do.

  38. The more open we truly are with ourselves and with everyone around us the the more free, open and joy-filled life can be. You and your blog are a testament to that fact Caroline

    1. I agree with you Josh with what you have said. The freedom that you feel when being open with people, showing them all of who you are is such a joy, one of the best feelings I must say.

  39. I can so relate to what you have shared Caroline. When you are caught in the doingness everything happens and gets done at such an unrelenting and fast pace it is literally like you can’t stop and catch your breath, and day after day that momentum continues. Your article is very inspiring and shows us that we all have the choice to change the pattern and trap of human doingness if we are open to it.

  40. Thank you Caroline. I understand and relate to all you have written. The push to do is very big. Just being has often seemed to me like a luxury or laziness (crazy, I know) even though I can take the gorgeousness of “just being” into all I do. It’s amazing how little we allow for ourselves – we do not even allow ourselves to have our own self. What I loved is in your last sentence, that you look forward to what each new day brings to be with. This supported me to feel I’m assuming there will always be something painful to be with instead of the fun of simply being with myself.

  41. I really enjoyed this blog, so I returned again today. I love the simplicity of what you write, to just choose to be with the body, and choose to be love in every moment, and when this goes awry create a stop moment.

  42. How you describe yourself as human-doing sounds very much like how I used to be, and how I can still be at times. Letting my doing-ness speak much louder than my being-ness. Thanks to Universal Medicine, I now understand how hiding my love like that was in fact hurting me, and like you, Caroline, I am learning the power of choice.

  43. I so enjoyed what you share with us Caroline – When you share “Connect gently with my body and my breath and just feel” it really is as simple as that! The first time I listened to Serge Benhayon sharing with us the gentle breath meditation – It was an amazing experience (and still is) to practice this daily – connecting to the gentleness within and feeling all of me – what a great place to start and from there to gently go about our day.

  44. I too was a ‘human-doing’ (I love this, Caroline) and since being inspired by Serge Benhayon to make more loving choices in my life, am now comfortable with being a ‘human-being’. I actually do more than ever before, but now with a lot of consideration for myself and all those around me, rather than being in an anxious, rushed fog just trying to tick off my ‘to-do’ list.

  45. Being in connection with my body is something that is so supportive of the way I am, there is so much to feel. But I can get lost in doing things to just close and not being aware of what I am feeling, just because there is something I don’t want to feel..

  46. I can relate to the ‘doing’ in life vs being me, it gets quite exhausting and your forever going from one thing to the next in a mild state of anxiety. Since meeting Serge Benhayon and being inspired and supported to make loving choices in my life I now enjoy being me. There are times when I lose it and get into the doing again it is much easier for me to stop and re-connect and choose me again.

  47. The truly great thing about finding out who we really are is that its amazing and awesome beyond words. Our fears about not being enough and in some way faltered is just not true. Its incredible to strip back the layers and allow the light to shine through for the world to see and feel.

  48. That realization of “i am enough” is amazing. i feel so much more content and okay within myself, just knowing who i am is more then enough.

    1. So beautiful to accept that we are enough – the constant search to be ‘more’ is not required. I so agree Emily – that feeling of contentment, knowing and feeling this is so amazing.

  49. ‘I have become more observing and accepting of myself, which is a whole new way from what I used to… do!’ When I stop ‘doing’ a new world is opening up, in my experience. To observe and accept what I feel, and not go into control or an emotion, is so different from how I used to live. It gives me space and makes me gentle and as you say Caroline ‘I am enough’ just the way I am.

  50. A lovely sharing with us Caroline – When you share “I have taken more responsibility for my body and my choices” – that rings loud and clear to me also. Until I chose to do this I was blaming others for my hurts and sadness. Being brought up with all males around me every ounce of gentleness/femaleness was masked with a huge protection barrier. Yes I was feeling very vulnerable but not accepting of this at all. Now a completely different story – the beautiful woman in me is emerging (yes just like a butterfly) and I’m feeling my wings too.

    1. Isn’t it lovely that you are opening up, straight out of your contraction of protection barrier, and opening your wings? The shift from blaming others to taking full responsibility for yourself brings out the true woman you, we all are: vulnerable with delicate wings. Keep on opening those wings!

  51. I am presently working on feeling ‘me’ in all that I do. These were words that I have heard spoken by Serge Benhayon, but, like you described this connection had been under-developed. Now I too am re-learning how to simply be me and these words are a tangible experience for me.

  52. Caroline, thank you for this lovely sharing. I really relate to the ‘human doing’ having been one myself. For so long I believed this was my way of expressing love, when in actual fact, like you, this was how I shielded myself from feeling the truth of myself and others. Taking those precious ‘stop moments’, listening to my body, connecting to the beauty within me, I now know I am more than enough, and that by simply ‘being’ love I ‘do’ more than I could have ever imagined.

  53. One of the many great blessings that Universal Medicine brings is the awareness of who we truly are, the connection with self, so that we can then bring ourselves to the world, and the world needs much healing, and this is what we , when we are simply ourselves, can bring

  54. “It all adds up to: there is more of ME in each of my relationships now.” Yes, Caroline when we stop the doing and settle into our bodies and connect to people from that place it enriches the interactions we have with people because we’re allowing them to see more of us which in turn allows them to be more of who they are.

  55. At first it does seem like to be a dare to be open and connected to yourself. We often run 24/7 and any opportunity to be connected with ourselves in sort through relief, not quite the same as connection.

    At first it is so abnormal for us to connect it does take a dare to say “hey I’m worth it, let’s connect to our inner heart”. From there it slowly builds and the feeling of naturality returns.

    1. Thank you Caroline and Luke, I agree, there can only be a ‘feeling of naturality returning’ when we take full responsibility for our choice to connect and live with the love from the ‘inner heart,’ and it is definantely worth it!

  56. ‘I have taken more responsibility for my body and my choices, including habits and patterns like the doing-ness.’ – I loved reading this blog Caroline and being reminded of the simplicity and power in letting go of old patterns and just being me.

  57. You raise a brilliant question that’s guaranteed to stir us – who are we if not our shields of protection? It’s that drive for protection that is behind us not showing our vulnerability to others or expressing our innermost feelings for risk of exposure and ridicule. So it’s great to read how you’ve changed these habits for yourself, through focussing on you being enough already, accepting that it’s about ‘being’ not ‘doing’, feeling the impact of the choices you’re making and committing to being responsible for them as best you can. It’s an inspiring read.

  58. I can so relate to your ‘doing’ Caroline, as that has been my way for a long time also. “And this brings me to another big insight: the power of choice. Every day – actually every moment – I can choose; is this (thought, word, action) harming or healing for me/my body? So when I speed up or start to speak quickly and feel I am losing myself, I can feel it’s harming: it just requires a ‘stop it and feel’. But also when I realise, e.g. my body feels stressed, I can choose instantly: what is supportive for me now?” Choosing to be rather than do has been a work in progress for me for a while now – allowing feelings to just be also. As you say, it is all a choice.

  59. So many people feel not safe enough to be ‘ themselves’, Shields are erected, masks in place, we go out into the world, where it becomes an unending interaction of Shields and masks… it is indeed a revelation to find that this so-called protection has been draining us, and that when we put it aside, the world changes.

  60. Thank you Caroline. I too thought I was hiding behind my shield of ‘doing’ but when I met Serge Benhayon I knew that he could see me through my shield and he has inspired and supported me to ‘be’ all that I am. It feels like I have shed a coat of heavy armour and I am free to ‘be’ me.

  61. The difference between doing and being is massive, for me one is like running on a treadmill and feeling hundreds of steps in front of my body and the other feels solidly present with my body and life is simple.

    1. Indeed life becomes very simple when 100% present in and with the body. I experience these days that thoughts can take me out easily, but then I can choose to get back to where my body is and check what is going on. It is often something with my movements, a bit of a rush, ahead of things and yes often a….doingness! 🙂

      1. I find I get really tired if what I felt to do gets put on the back burner. As I’m ultimately saying that xyz is more important that what my body was saying. I have found doingness can also come from wanting to be recognized or accepted.

    2. I agree Aimee, there is a huge difference. I have seen and experienced it myself when we go into drive and constantly having to be doing something exhausts us and others too. From this momentum we seem to expect others to also keep up. But by being ourselves we are more in tune with what is required and what is loving. By being ourselves we get to feel our body and appreciate how exquisite we all are.

  62. Ha ha!! I had a little chuckle with re-reading this again today Caroline because I so recognise the “human doing” which was so much of how I lived in such a controlling blinkered way. From human doing to “human being” the joys of feeling all of me again opens up so much from within and so many opportunities which then just flow/inspire naturally so. Much less ‘doing’ of and definitely more ‘being’ with.

  63. Great blog Caroline, we are not meant to be tough and hard. Men and women are equally fragile, vulnerable and delicate. We have been taught to harden to life because life is tough but this is not true, I have learnt that life is all about love and about being ourselves as much as possible, to be loving in every way.

  64. if there is one thing that certainly shrines out of attending universal medicine workshops, it is that of taking responsibility for oneself on so many levels… Imagine if this sense of responsibility spread through society … What an extraordinary time we would be having

  65. Thank you Caroline. How simple it is to connect to our bodies in each moment and discern of what we are choosing is healing or harming. I can feel that simple though it may be this is not easy for me as it reveals that many of my choices are harming. That said it is certainly harming to judge myself so I can stop that and appreciate how lovely it feels to make truly supportive choices.

  66. Being connected with ourselves in every moment of our day, as best as we can brings a constant to our day. Something we know will not change unless we choose it to and something we can always come back to as a rock, no matter what is going on around us.

  67. This is a great reminder Caroline of the responsibility we have to our own being. We need to be aware of all our thoughts, words and actions to ensure that they are not harming ourself or others. This, in turn, allows us to be more of who we are, as harmlessness is in our innate nature.

  68. I totally agree, taking responsibility for our choices and our body makes every day fun, as every day becomes about learning and evolving – it’s such a great way to live.

  69. It is really fun to see what each day brings, when every day has a billion new opportunities to learn, grow and evolve – how can you not be excited for tomorrow?

  70. Caroline it was wonderful to read your blog as you made the difference very clear between a human doing and a human being. If we are honest most of us are now more human doings without noticing it. Thank you for offering a possibility with your amazing blog to get aware of it.

    1. In this honesty we can stop the doingness and return to the quality of being. For me lately this has been connecting to the stillness within me, a natural rhythm I am part of where doing does not exist but just moving through my day – and still get things done 😉

  71. A very delightful blog Caroline thank you for sharing i have been a human doing most of my life and it has been a work in progress moving from the human doing to the human being, where life has its own beautiful flowing rhythm, no anxiety or rush here.

  72. For a long time I had this sense that I was running – either from something or towards something – whatever it was. I still do on occasions. But it is when I catch myself and stop that I actually feel true to who I am. In that stillness, I wonder what it is I am seeking – or avoiding – when actually, the experience of being still is so lovely.

  73. The doing ness is like an addiction, I know so well. But I have to have an understanding for this habit, as I (as we all have) have been rewarded with recognition a whole life. This recognition was the best substitute we could find for love.

  74. and what a great message to children this would be… That all they would have to be would be to be themselves, and that would be absolutely enough… Just being me, and I’m free!

  75. It takes a lot to stop being consumed by doing, or needing to control and choosing instead to let go of protective behaviours in favour of feeling who you are beneath them. Accepting yourself for who you are and realising you are enough is the greatest reward you could ever want in response to your desire to stop running away from you.

  76. It’s a clever trap – the doingness we have come to identify with being successfully human. Clever because it has become so common it is not even questioned by the vast majority as to whether it may not actually be our natural way. We only ‘do’ in this way to try to escape from the responsibility we feel when we just ‘be’. Being is our natural way, and so therefore is responsibility – even though we have chosen to forget this long ago.

  77. This being in control attitude is really interesting. It is an illusion and is indicative of how much we have reduce our lives from what is true so we can parcel it out and have the feeling that we are in control.

  78. ‘The best form of protection is an open heart’. If we all felt how true these words of wisdom were and lived them in our everyday I cannot but realise how different the world as we know it today would be.

  79. I love the way you make the connection between the ‘doing’ and control. In fact control seems to be the word of the day for me today. When I get sick I feel like I have lost control because I can no longer ‘do’ all the things I plan to do and yet there is often an exhausted relief in this too. I get the sense it would be much simpler (and far more pleasant) to choose healing behaviour and ways of being.

  80. “I just dare to be open…” – this is a great approach to life and has helped me a lot to come out of my protection and hiding from the world, which was often achieved by being busy doing stuff, so I did not have time to connect to people much.

  81. “And as we are all ‘forever students’, it even becomes fun to see what each day brings to be with.”

    Thank you Caroline, this last line felt so beautiful to read, embracing what each moment brings rather than bracing and protecting against what may come is such a harmonious way to live.

  82. I have today had a sense of the pretence in which I have been living. The thinking that I am calling things out, but really not and ultimately the effect that this has not only on my body and wellbeing (which it does), but also the quality of relationships that I have. So it affects others too.We can often think we are doing the right thing, which we can justify very easily, but the question is, is it true? Are we being true and delivering the truth to ourselves and everyone we meet?

  83. Learning to re-connect to one’s body and to respond to its messages rather than over-riding them is the greatest loving support one can give oneself.

  84. Exposing ‘doing-ness’ removes the blinkers that shackle us to believe that we do not have choice and are victims to life rather than the co-creators of it.

  85. A well-versed blog, a song maybe or just the joy of what it is to:
    “I just dare to be open… just being me at that moment.”
    “I learnt to turn to and connect gently with my body and my breath and just feel.”
    “Just being still with me, feeling what there is to feel.”
    ” it just requires a ‘stop it and feel’.”

  86. A beautiful article That very simply exposes ‘doing’ for the deceitful trickery it can be. Ah to do, but to be first, there would then be a steadiness and grace in how we choose to go about our daily activities. Here in lies the joy of living life.

  87. “I Dared To Be Open And Choose To Be Me” a beautiful invitation to give ourselves permission to honour what we feel and bring it into our everyday life.

  88. ‘As I am more connected to my body, I can see I have a choice.’ Spot on Caroline, there is so much power and joy when we stay connected to our bodies it allows us to make a true choice in every situation – I wonder why we ever chose to disconnect in the first place?

  89. Thank you Caroline. You remind me that investing in my relationship with myself is absolutely worth it. When we are truly and humbly interested in getting to know who we are miracles happen.

  90. To be as you say, Caroline, a for ever student, takes a humility that is indeed the rear in this world where competition is the foundation for so much of our lives, and yet this humility is the doorway to such deep and fast awareness and connection.

  91. I can relate to having lived my life as a ‘human-doing’, and am now choosing to be a human-being, ‘human-doings and human-beings’, I used to rush around looking for something to do, and I now choose to re-connect with me, my innermost being.

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