by Rebecca Wingrave
I spent about 20 years of my life drinking, partying, trying to be ‘one of the lads’ and generally having a complete lack of self-worth. I got really ill as a teenager from overindulgence in alcohol, but just carried on as it was what I felt gave me confidence and was what all young people did; I didn’t know another way of being.
I began suffering from digestive issues and so decided to seek help. I was advised by a nutritionist to stop eating gluten and dairy and to cut down on my alcohol consumption; over the next couple of years I started to feel better. I noticed how sick the alcohol made me so decided to stop drinking it altogether – the problem was that my social life was based around drinking and my friends found it hard to understand why I wanted to stop… I really felt like the odd one out.
I attended a Universal Medicine workshop, and through listening to Serge Benhayon present and talking with other students there, I realised I wasn’t alone; I had finally met people who were also looking after themselves and who had chosen not to drink alcohol – I was introduced to another way of being.
Serge presented to us to feel for ourselves what our bodies were saying, which foods worked for us, and which made us feel bloated or heavy. So I began making changes; I refined my diet by feeling what foods and drinks worked for me, and three years on I no longer have digestive issues.
Serge talked about sleep times and how the body begins to rejuvenate from 9pm, so I began going to bed earlier and noticed that this made me feel so much better. He also presented about the tenderness we all have in our bodies: I had some Esoteric Breast Massage sessions and felt this tenderness, as well as a delicateness and beauty in my own body. This was amazing for me, and since then I have been allowing myself to feel this more and more.
I realised that I wasn’t ‘one of the lads’, I was actually a gorgeous woman. I began to dress differently, much more femininely, which I’ve really been enjoying; I take the time to massage myself and am much more gentle with my body – from not carrying heavy bags to driving much more gently and carefully.
Through this self-care and having the support of healing sessions with Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners, my confidence and self-worth have been increasing hugely… I feel much more of the real me and am letting go of the trying to be something or someone else.
I have found another way of being, a more loving, more gentle, more enjoyable, truer and more honest way of being; a way of self-care, nurturing and love.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“letting go of the trying to be something or someone else.” is what allows someone to be truly successful in life as the richness from our soul is there to be embraced at anytime, it is just a choice.
You now have the freedom to be you Rebecca, and that is amazing. I have had a similar journey through alcohol and wanting to fit in, until I finally came to a point where I got honest and realised I didn’t like it, and I never did, I just drank to fit in and in fact trained myself to do so. Yes that’s correct I over-rode my natural taste and inclination to drink alcohol because I desperately wanted to fit in with my friends, and it’s only as I go older and after feeling the affects that I got honest and said no. How is it that we live where we ask people to over ride how they feel so they can fit in with a norm, which doesn’t seem to work for many … not sure whose norm it is but it’s very demanding of all of us that we bow to it – crazy isn’t it?
Often when we chose something that is different form the many in society it can be thought of as strange, not drinking is one of these, as humans we have managed to twist reality some what how ever to make something so unhealthy,socially damaging normal. I used to drink, I used to think it was normal, I encouraged other people to do it with me…..it is not normal and my life has much improved from stopping the so called ‘social drinking’. It has been great to meet the people of are similarly interested in body heal and wellbeing and for it to be enterally normal
The truth is nobody is ‘one of the lads’ and the beauty in what you are sharing is, the more of us women connect to our natural beauty and tenderness within and live according to our inner knowing the greater the reflection there is for everybody else, and with that a new normal is established..
Yes Leonne – great comment. Common-sense is where it is at. ‘It’ being the common quality that represents us all, the truth of how we can all live the love we are in essence.
What happens when we are surrounded by a culture that is considered ‘normal’ yet it feels so wrong to the core for us? History has us believing that if go against the ‘norm’ we will be persecuted, ridiculed, ousted and denigrated. Yet over-riding our truth is clearly making us ill as a humanity, one honest look at our state of physical and mental health as a whole will tell you that. It is inspiring to feel how you have risen above the consciousness of what is deemed as ‘normal’ to actually reclaim what is truly normal for us. Thank you Rebecca, for leading the way in how we are to return our civilisation once again, to know a quality of living that is honor of who we are, in connection to our Soul.
How gorgeous to be expressing the beautiful woman you are Rebecca. We can appreciate and enjoy that – absolutely!
Its inspiring to hear a story of healing and recovering your health through changing how you live. We all have this power to support and care for ourselves.
I don’t remember how many times I wasn’t ever touching alcohol again, only to pick it back up. I would often say that one day I would give it up for good and my friends after a while knew at some point it was going to happen. It happened before I’d heard anything about Universal Medicine but it wasn’t solid as I knew I had given it up because drinking it never worked for me but there was another part. Universal Medicine supported me to see the true meaning of something I’d already chosen, to see what was behind the choice and made more sense of what was going on. This alone has supported me greatly and I look back and appreciate that I knew a part of what was going on but couldn’t grab it all without support.
It’s great how you describe the simple, practical changes you made here, simple and easy changes that are instigated from true care can have such a massive impact on every aspect of our lives. It’s also interesting the different things we become to fit into the world, and how when we start to take care of ourselves these molds start to naturally come undone.
I remember trying to be one of the lads. I would drink neat whisky on the rocks and enjoy watching the shock on people’s faces. I actually hated the taste but thought I was cool. I never really liked alcohol, but trained myself to drink it until it became a habit. When I decided to stop it wasn’t difficult and I don’t miss feeling sick, the drunken arguments I used to have and being hung over for days.
Why do we try to be anything than who we truly are, it is exhausting and harmful to all? What is it that we do not want to feel or embrace about our true selves?
Embracing yourself as the true woman you are, with all that means, is very powerful. I also went into the world of partying and playing hard, it did not serve and I have been revealing who I truly am, a gentle, tender woman, through reconnecting with my body and honouring what I feel.
Beautiful how you came to realise that, ‘I realised that I wasn’t ‘one of the lads’, I was actually a gorgeous woman.’ I too am appreciating feeling far more delicate and tender than I had previously allowed myself to feel.
Yes finding as women that we can be ourselves and not one of the boys, just to fit in, is such a wonderful revelation. That being feminine, delicate and tender is actually what we crave and also what men crave to see us in, not competition and masculine energy.
It has been quite revealing the delicateness and tenderness I have felt in my body yet what has been more exposing is the fact I had chosen to shut down these beautiful, exquisite qualities that were there since birth. Tenderness, delicateness, preciousness and sacredness have been words that I did not associate with. They have been words alien to me, words I had chosen to ignore and therefore not know their true meaning but these words are not just words as when felt in the body I get a glimpse of what it feels like to be and live as the gorgeous, true woman I am.
We can change our experience of life so deeply by just applying practical common sense with basics like what we eat and what we drink
The changes you have made in your life are simple yet revolutionary and the way you express is proof of this. Thank you Rebecca.
This is a beautiful blog Rebecca of a woman reclaiming herself and feeling how truly worthy she is. In world where many woman have denied their womanly qualities and adopted a more masculine approach to life reflections like yours are refreshing and a way to inspire and ignite these qualities in other woman that are desperately craving to re-connect to their sacredness.
Our body craves for love – that love that is found in self-nurturing, deep self-care and embracing of who we are. Since having received all these tools by Universal Medicine to bring more connection in my life – I have found me, my true self and that inner-strength that is now everyday more my lived power. So thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in its whole.
A beautiful way to introduce – our true=ness. AND that we are so much more than we are possibly living. When we look at it from appreciation, all we can find that there is more.. more to feel inside us that we can possibly live. This has been inspired for me by Serge Benhayon, who simply never holds back who we are and the potential of being all that we are, every single given moment. Hence, there is nothing lost.. This simply got me inspired and supported me to trust that I can now choose to be myself.
Self care, nurturing and love, three basic ingredients that take us out of self abuse, self loathing, lack of self worth and much more. A simple recipe but not always easy to follow when we are going against the grain and others actively encourage or cleverly manipulate us to do as they do or as they want. It is always our choice however and important then to have compassion for ourselves if we make an ill choice and like wise to be accepting and respectful of others choices, however harming we know them to be.
Tenderness is not something I treat myself with, I often go for self bashing thoughts, which makes me sad, I am going to allow tenderness with my body and my thoughts.
Rebecca your choice to listen to your body is very inspiring. It shows how supportive and loving it is to truly listen to our body and trust what we feel. It supports us to be who we are instead of trying to be someone we are not, this often puts strain and stress on our body if we choose to ignore its messages. Your examples shows how it is possible to honour our body, how we feel and who we are.
It is rather ironic that when we give up drinking alcohol that we are considered, or perhaps consider ourselves, the “odd one out”, when we are the one who has made the choice to look after our body and deepen our level of self care. Caring for our body makes a whole lot of sense, but being treated like the odd one sure doesn’t, not one little bit! What an upside down world we live in!
I agree Ingrid, it does seem this way. It also shows that if someone chooses to making loving choices this makes them stand out, probably due to the fact that a huge majority of our society are currently not choosing this. It is pretty shocking when we step back and observe what is truly going on. It is seen as normal to abuse our body with toxic substances but when someone steps out of this and makes loving choices they stand out and are often criticize or condemned for this, which doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t it make more sense to be inspired and appreciate someone who is choosing love?
It can be really exposing in friendships when someone stops being part of the crowd and instead goes with what feels true for them, it can also be hard to do this as we may feel we no longer ‘fit in’ or are ‘different’ or even find that friends act differently with us but from my experience it is well worth doing and I wish I did this when I was a lot younger …. ‘the problem was that my social life was based around drinking and my friends found it hard to understand why I wanted to stop… I really felt like the odd one out.’
Our bodies are really struggling with the fast pace of today’s society as evidenced by our escalating rates of disease and illness. So when we ignore the push to keep up and instead focus on integrity and quality while being gentle and caring of our body, it really appreciates it.
Thank you for sharing Rebecca. Isn’t it beautiful how we can just keep building the quality and level of nurturing and care we can give ourselves as women.
Over a few years I gradually reduced my alcohol intake until I just did not choose it any more. That was over ten years ago now. My friends quizzed me about it and I remember thinking ‘what kind of friendship is this if it is based upon what kind of liquid I choose to have in a glass?’. I have to say, I love my life without alcohol and it is something completely alien to me now.
Lovely to read Rebecca, the Esoteric breast massages are a beautiful way to reconnect to the delicateness and womanliness.
I too always wanted to be “one of the lads” little realising that this was harming my beautiful young woman’s body in so many ways, but this was one way of filling the emptiness I continually felt inside; I just wanted to belong somewhere. Like you, meeting Serge Benhayon and many Universal Medicine students in 2005 I realised that I wasn’t alone, so many of them had grown up feeling like they didn’t belong anywhere either. Fast forward to today, where my level of self love is so much deeper than it has ever been, the emptiness is filled with the love that I have re-connected to that has always waited patiently for me to re-claim it, and now I definitely know without a sliver of doubt where I belong.
“Through this self-care and having the support of healing sessions with Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners, my confidence and self-worth have been increasing hugely… I feel much more of the real me and am letting go of the trying to be something or someone else.” So simple and yet so powerful, amazing and how we are all naturally born to be.
When we stop trying to be someone or something our confidence builds and our beauty starts to shine from inside out.
Rebecca what a wonderful way to get more confidence and self-worth – is it not exactly this what most of us are looking for?
Thanks Rebecca for another confirming example of the health benefits of making responsible and well informed choices
What a transformation based on the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. A reminder that all it takes is to watch and observe another and be inspired by the way they live.
Hi Rebecca, I too found that I simply had to let go of drinking alcohol and I did so about 20 years ago as I could not take it. One and a half glasses was my limit and after that I was so poisoned I would have the hang over from hell, so it simply was not worth risking. It is strange when people do not understand this as alcohol is indeed a poison to the body. It was great for me also to come across other people who were committed to taking care of themselves and developing and deepening this within themselves. It certainly is another way of being, a way that makes perfect sense as presented by Universal Medicine.
How lovely it is to provide ourselves with the support and space to choose what is true for us.
It’s great to challenge the meaning of what “normal” is – it seems these days our gauge of normal is that if the majority are doing it then it’s ok rather than feeling for ourselves how it feels in our body and why is it that we are we so eager to enjoin in behaviours that harm us in order to belong?
This is a great blog, as you show Rebecca, the real value of self care. And that is, the person is so worth taking care of as evident by the response, the remuneration, felt from the body of feeling vital and healing itself from the digestive issues, simply by the choice to self care. We treat ourselves with worth, with value, and your body loves you back 10-fold.
Most of us are playing a role, we learnt this very early in life, trying to fit in, so much of what we do is configured around the responses that we get, and then we mould ourselves to fit the responses that we want. What is being offered at Universal Medicine is the opportunity to know oneself enough so that we can be who we truly are, and that in itself, is innately beautiful; because our true nature is a reflection of the divine.
What huge changes many of us make when we take notice of the truth our bodies reveal. I truly admire people such a yourself for their dedication and willingness to listen to what is offered to us through presentations of Serge Benhayon and the example of the Student body. Thanks Rebecca.
Rebecca it is beautiful to feel your awareness of the gorgeous woman you are and your choice to be all that you are. Presentations and workshops with Serge Benhayon revealed to me just how much I had shut down my awareness of feeling and how I used my mind to try and understand everything.
Your sweetness and sensitivity is evident in every word of this blog Rebecca. It is very beautiful to feel your appreciation for the gorgeous woman you are.
You are an inspiration Rebecca – I too have watched other students as they grow with confidence and find their wings, allowing for their gentleness, tenderness and delicateness to be felt and their natural beauty to shine through. No more holding back their amazing light. This has certainly inspired me to allow myself to feel again and not hide behind that ingrained ‘tom boy’ image I used to portray.
Every one of us is like a caterpillar, but the transformation is not inevitable…. It is always by choice and then we can be the unique and radiant being that we truly are.
Sounds like a pretty big turnaround Penny, Universal Medicine works wonders
“I realised that I wasn’t ‘one of the lads’, I was actually a gorgeous woman. I began to dress differently, much more femininely, which I’ve really been enjoying; I take the time to massage myself and am much more gentle with my body – from not carrying heavy bags to driving much more gently and carefully.” Hard to believe you were one of the lads Rebecca!, since I’ve only known you for the past few years – you are indeed a gorgeous warm open loving woman.
When you get to that point of realising that ‘you are not one of the lads’. It is the most amazing feeling to feel the gorgeous changes that seem to take place when, self-love and self-nurturing is a part of our everyday – just like a flower coming into full bloom. And you are certainly that Rebecca – gorgeous.
I’ve had the same experience with my family through the years and felt the same relief when I found Universal Medicine. Looking back now if I had trusted and loved myself like I do now I would have just listened to my body and comfortably said ‘no thanks’. My body new the truth all along.
I love how your body shouted so loud and clear to you what was needed. Quite often people don’t get such a clear message and can carry on harming themselves. At times our bodies may communicate but we are so checked out with our disregard we can’t and don’t want to hear it’s call. Very inspiring that you listened to your body even though it was bound to be a massive challenge for you, and equally inspiring that you are now choosing to make these decision on self love and not just for health.
I reckon this should be headline news. You rarely hear stories like this these days that are detailing true loving and evolutionary changes that someone is choosing to make. But what you have shared here Rebecca is a true living miracle in evert way, an inspiration for all.
I agree Joshua that Rebecca’s amazing transformation needs to be “headline news”, along with the hundreds of other similarly inspiring stories of transformation from the students of Universal Medicine; how making a choice to be responsible for the true care of our bodies can result in such incredible life changes. How can one not be inspired by such a story?
It is ridiculous that in our world today we can feel like the odd one out for actually looking after and adoringly caring and loving ourselves. Hence how inspiring it is to feel someone living and fully claiming it…
So was the Lamb Roast
That’s beautiful gregbarnes888! Thank you.
It’s funny how many of us Women go through a period of wanting to be one of the boys. Not necessarily wanting to be a boy, but rather wanting to be just as blazé, carefree, and tough as them (despite this attitude often not reflecting who they really are). I know growing up, I felt like I had something to prove, I often referred to myself as not being a girly girl, because the connotation suggested weakness. I liked being a girl, but I aimed to be a tough girl, who was cool and not emotional. Turns out, after years of building my many layers of protection, it’s not sustainable, and I am in fact a highly sensitive women, who is learning how to deal with all the emotions I shoved under the carpet for so many years.
I get how daunting it can be to stop social customs such as drinking alcohol and how much some relationships depend on such things. I agree Rebecca it is wonderful to feel a community of Universal Medicine students who are making relationship about true support and love.
I can remember how challenging it was for those around me when I stopped drinking alcohol and how some people tried repeatedly to get me to have just one drink. But to me it was a choice to not abuse my long suffering body any longer and I was not swayed or tempted in any way. Today, through my commitment to me being consistent in every way there are no longer any challenges, just an acceptance of this is how I live.
Rebecca really lovely to read how you have chosen to become the gorgeous woman you are. Very inspiring.
‘Being one of the lads’ was a great place to hide. I can remember something similar in that I really enjoyed being a “Tom boy” where I would act like one of the boys and identified more with their comradery even if it was rough and tough and later involved drinking allot of alcohol which I too got sick from early on but continued. I knew I had a choice to come back and be the delicate girl I was naturally but it was easier to stay hanging out with the boys as it felt safer than dealing with overwhelming nasty ness of being around groups of girls – boys didn’t exclude you like the girls did.
We can really make ourselves less in so many ways that then does not allow others to see ‘who we truly are’. Men do need women to be true women for them to be real men.
Nicely said matthew!
Your sharing Rebecca has an incredible ability to support many people in the world with pressures felt when making self-caring choices. To understand what the world now perceives as ‘normal’ is quite frankly shocking – but to not judge that and simply observe it and be aware of it is gold; blogs like yours are so important in the ability to step out of doing what is perceived as ‘normal.’ Thank you Rebecca.
When anyone chooses to stop drinking alcohol or make any other choice that is actually honouring and caring for themselves, it is totally wrong that the pressures of others and society in general can make you feel like you are the odd one out. When you consider the present escalating rates of obesity and disease and illnesses it should actually be the other way around and you should be respected and even revered for your commitment to care for nurture yourself. Why is this not so?
Rebecca, I had a similar response from friends when I gave up drinking, I think I was classed as a bit of an odd ball, because I chose not to drink. My choice to stop drinking hugely supported my body, I became less tired, and felt that I had much more vitality too.
Most of us myself included did not know another way of living, so we change our behaviours to ‘fit in’, even though we can feel the harm they do to the body as shown in your clasic example with alcohol. I too found another way to live which if far more self-loving and self-nourishing, which has changed my life completely, and is; The Way of the Livingness, presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
It’s funny how we think to be apart of a group or to have fun we need alcohol. Thankfully this isn’t the case and as you start to feel and connect to your body and start trying things out for yourself like going to bed early and changing what foods you eat some habits like drinking alcohol just fall away because they are no longer supportive and they were never really you to begin with.
There are many people out there telling people to reduce alcohol and gluten; people who are skilled with the real knowledge of what it does to the body. How can Serge Benhayon be called a cult leader (which he has been accused of in the media and on the internet) if he is simply saying something that a lot of people have already suggested?
It is interesting Ben to consider where the world is at when people have to attack those who suggest that we become aware of the effects of substances such as gluten have on the body. This is true objective science, open enquiry and observation of cause and effect – so there must be an underlying lack of objectivity involved, something that challenges something that does not wish to be challenged to generate such attack.
I can very much relate to this Annie, I would hang out with whatever people and just get upset, because there was anything interesting they did, but I never ever was honest about it, I just played along. When I got too bored I just changed the group of people, had some excitement for a while and fell into the same boredom, but always playing along. When I started to nurture myself and said and lived what I truly felt and had connected to with the support of Universal Medicine everybody found it weird as I never ever before expressed my true self. So it was like I suddenly started to be another person. People turned away from me and at the beginning I was criticizing them for being intolerant, but with the time I totally understood I had never been my true self around them and they had a relationship with a person I was not role playing anymore. Today I am myself and people are getting to know the real me.
Great reminder Greg about the fact that we out-grow foods and we should keep on feeling at any one time what it is that our body needs.
A woman who drank and partied for 20 years of her life finds another way of living and through doing so a woman unfurls and claims herself to be gentle, tender, and beautiful. I can relate to this experience, personally. So often we can get caught up in our habits and behaviours and find it difficult to see the wood for the trees, so to speak. Universe Medicine presentations and Esoteric Modalities offer clarity, not because they ‘tell you what to do’ but because they are supportive of the client, the student making their own choices to return to who they truly are. Simple, transparent and deeply healing.
I can really feel in your writing Rebecca that the miraculous changes you have described here are not just words on a page but real changes that you currently live every day. Your delicateness and sensitivity comes through in this piece and self- worth to me means really honouring these natural innate qualities that we all have as being the normal every day way to live.
When I was younger I definitely over rode what my body was telling me and pushed my self hard, ate foods that didn’t agree with me and drank alcohol all under the guise of being seen as ‘tough’ and to fit in with the crowd. Yet the very idea that I was trying to be ‘tough’ told me that this wasn’t really me – it wasn’t natural. No wonder my body had no choice but to harden and increase in size in response!! Over the past few years I have been working on unravelling these patterns and my body is finally getting the attention it deserves.
Thank you for your blog Rebecca. So many of us just ‘go with the lads’ instead of listening to the very obvious messages that our body is always telling us.
Your own experience just goes to show how much more healthy and fulfilled we become once we choose to honour our bodies rather than disregard them, listen to it’s needs rather than override them. To me, that’s something worth standing up rather than fitting in for.
Awesome Rebecca. I couldn’t believe the difference going to bed at 9pm made to how I felt. I agree, It’s great to know people who are also interested and care about taking care of themselves…you are on the same grounds when it comes to bed times after a night out hahaha
This is a lovely and simple overview for anyone from the general public to read, especially women who perhaps don’t allow their femininity to shine through. It’s easy to relate to a bloggers story, when it’s told with plain openness and truth like this.
Gorgeous to read of you experience of reawakening the amazing woman inside.
An honest way of being requires commitment and responsibility – I am inspired by the changes you have made based on these and on how your body feels.
This is a great blog to share the power of the simplicity of the Universal Medicine Therapies. There is a potential to connect to what is underneath the layers we have enveloped ourselves with in order to get through life. How wonderful that you have felt that you are not one of the lads but actually a gorgeous woman
“I realised that I wasn’t ‘one of the lads’, I was actually a gorgeous woman.” I love this statement. It sometimes takes a while to appreciate ourselves for the gorgeous women that we are and to realize that we have been faking it and believing things about ourselves that are just not true. Beautifully shared, thank you Rebecca.
A lovely sharing with us all Rebecca – Bringing Self love and self care into my life has also inspired the gentle woman in me to surface. No trying and it feels amazing – this gorgeous woman had just been hiding under the many layers ( of hurts/ideals and beliefs) but now can feel her wings.
It’s a good to see clearly how much we short change everyone when we play small and comfortable.
That’s well said Vanessa: ‘short change everyone’. No more ‘small and comfortable’ if we want full and abundant lives.
Thank you Jo, as reflections go you are truly amazing.
And thank you Greg. You are such an amazing reflection firstly for the loving choices you are so clearly making in your life, and also what you offer as a true gentleman to both men and women.
Imagine this blog being read by thousands of other gorgeous women who have not truly felt their gorgeousness. How much beauty is there waiting to be unleashed!
I too wish this for so so many men and women. It’s a crime that we’re not all living and breathing our gorgeousness and beauty, as is shared in this blog.
Oh yes my wish too. How gorgeous would the world be! To make that happen, it starts with each and everyone of us to show that it is indeed possible to live with our gorgeousness as Rebecca’s simple and gorgeous blog shows us how.
I love reading these blogs Rebecca as everyone has a gem in it that supports me at the time, in this one I really felt I can pay more attention to bringing much more tenderness to all that I do, driving being one. Thank you for sharing.
This is such a beautiful testimony of the amazing love you now give yourself Rebecca, it is an amazing transformation that is deeply inspiring. Thank you for showing there is another way of being and embracing the woman you are.
It is so beautiful to see how people start to change from making more loving choices, It is a great way to come back to who we really are and connect to that deeply.
So true Benkt, ‘making more loving choices .. . is a great way to come back to who we really are’, and the beautiful thing is that one can make a different choice at any age – one is never too old to start!
Changing my diet has been a great turn around but the greatest change I have made came from not living my own and someone else’s emotions and drama. To learn to actually feel the difference between a feeling and an emotion has meant that I started to live me again and not the chameleon I used to be. These emotions were like a poison for my body. This (and of course my diet) has been the beginning of the end of my digestive issues.
I can very much relate Rebecca, I too felt a lot safer to present myself more in male energy than allowing my beauty and delicateness to be seen. Drinking was not the main focus amongst men in my group, but everybody was very intellectual and up in their heads, so I competed with them on a mental level and became very quick-witted. I learned that words could be used as a weapon and if my reply was snappy this would serve as a protection from being verbally attacked. I learned that this way of abuse can hurt a lot emotionally and how to prevent being effected by it through hardening and attacking first. I never allowed myself to feel the extend of the abuse, so thank you for sharing your story, which made me feel deeper into mine.
This was just gorgeous to read Rebecca. Lack of self worth and trying to be something you’re not is absolutely debilitating, so to go from there to the confidence and self worth you now possess, in appreciation and acceptance of your feminine beauty and tenderness is an incredible and inspirational turn around.
It is so beautiful as you mention Rebecca when we get to the point of realising that there is another way of being. When gentleness and self love is in our lives – (and if we choose) it is forever deepening and completely transforms our journey through life.
It’s actually very amazing how much more self-confident I can feel when I am just being my self. I can feel so claimed in who I am yet when I was growing up, especially in school, no one told me this and I would of gone through my whole life not knowing that I am enough for just being me if it wasn’t for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Rebecca, Beautiful to read of how you turned your life around, and it is lovely to know you, as the beautiful inspiring woman you are today.
Rebecca your amazing transition from lad to gorgeous woman is truly inspiring.
Universal medicine has shown so many of us that there is another way.
Hello gorgeous woman I am looking forward to meeting you – it was wonderful to read your blog.
I love your new way of being!
Hi Rebecca, I can relate to so much of what you have shared. When I began to honor the tenderness, the delicateness and the beauty in my body my life also began to truly change. I started to choose to live in a more loving way by being honest with how I was feeling. And as my awareness developed, and continues to, I can make choices that supports a deepening connection to the loving essence of me. And I now love and can celebrate the gorgeous woman that I am. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that our true way of being is always waiting to be lived.
It felt beautiful Rebecca to read your blog. Thanks to Serge and Universal Medicine for inspiring us to self love.
I am finally realising I know what I can and can’t eat these days – it is being aware of why I sometimes choose to eat things I know will upset my digestion. I have accepted that I eat differently to most other people at work and my family, but I am ok with that now as I don’t feel I have to fit in any more and it’s alright to be different. This has come about by the self loving attention I have been inspired to give to myself by the Esoteric Practitioners I have the pleasure in knowing.
Gorgeous blog Rebecca and I’m sitting here wincing at the memories of forcing myself to smoke and then drinking just to be feeling ‘a part’ of some group, it all made me so ill. I had stopped drinking and smoking for quite awhile before I met Serge Benhayon but since listening to Serge’s presentations I have let go of many more harmful things from my life and this is an ongoing development which feels awesome and is leading towards more self acceptance.
Top blog Rebecca. I have made similar changes to my lifestyle and the benefits have been huge, from weight loss, increased confidence and self worth and as you say, feeling more of the ‘real me’. What Serge Benhayon presents is common sense, everyday living that has a profound effect on anyone that chooses to live that way.
Beautiful Rebecca. It really stood out the part that you wrote about feeling what was right for you in regards to food and well, everything. I can relate to having someone around you that shares the same lifestyle or choices and what an awesome support that is.
It is astounding how much we take on all these things that are not really right for us, for example, the food we eat, the alcohol we drink and all sorts of other things that we do that does not support our wellbeing. Through the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have come to deeply care for myself and know myself in a way that I never knew was possible.
I too have discovered that there is another way to live that truly supports me to be the gorgeous woman that I am.
Your article exposes that there is no need for we women to strive to become anything. A deeper connection with ourselves naturally reveals who we truly are, which happens to be totally gorgeous.
I sit here nodding my head at so much of what you have shared with us all Rebecca thank you – I hid my tenderness and gorgeousness for so long until it was that I came across Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the amazing Esoteric practitioners. Then gentleness came into my life – slowly at first – but with the help and support from practitioners and fellow students the woman in me started to blossom.
Thank you Rebecca. Isn’t it just gorgeous discovering that we are worth taking care of through how we are caring for ourselves and the blossoming that takes place. The lovely thing here is that we choose this and we can choose this at any stage of our life.
Thank you Rebecca for the tender expression of your blog. I really enjoyed reading it again and could recognize a feeling that once was there – the feeling of ’emptiness’ and ‘wanting to be accepted – to fit in – somewhere – anywhere’. I too can offer appreciation to Serge Benhayon and the presentations of Universal Medicine for showing me that there indeed was another way. I am finding that way as a student of the Way of the Livingness – taking responsibility for my self care and nurturing by making different choices.
I enjoyed reading your article Rebecca. What I find amazing is how different we behave when we do what actually feels best for us.
Hi Rebecca. It’s great to reflect on the choices we were making and see how they were effecting our life and to appreciate where we are at now. Thank you for the reminder to take this opportunity.
Hi Rebecca, I can relate to your experience. When I was 18 I lived in a shared house with four men, who I observed to drink every night and do drugs all day. They could not understand why I chose to not do drugs but I did join them in drinking but to a lesser degree, as it never really agreed with me.
I also found myself at the doctors due to digestion problems, which continued well into my forties and it was only when I found Universal Medicine that I got the support I had been looking for – in confirmation that wheat, dairy, alcohol, sugar and some other foods did not agree with me and my own body.
The health benefits for me have been nothing short of a miracle.
Thank you for sharing Rebecca I can so relate to trying to be ‘one of the lads’ and love how you express your journey to gorgeousness through self-love. Learning to care for my body by making self-loving choices has transformed my life and I am enjoying exploring the tender woman underneath the layers of protection that I have hidden behind for so long.
Thank you for sharing the experiences that have brought you to know your body so much more. I also have experience of not caring for my body in my younger years, mainly due to not respecting and appreciating myself enough. Alcohol, cigarettes and food all had a part to play in that lack of care. Over the last 10 years I have become much more aware of my body and how to support it to feel healthy and vital, it has been a revelation how much a commitment to self care has altered my life.
Right on Rebecca your story is so like mine thanks for sharing.
For the longest time I never felt happy with my body, placing it in the ‘You look like a young boy’ category in my mind, always comparing myself to what I perceived a ‘real woman’ to be. However since being introduced to Universe Medicine, attending Women in Livingness presentations and the inspiration from woman living as they truly and naturally are, my skewed perception is falling away. It is not my body shape that defines me as a woman as I am learning but the qualities within me expressed through self-caring choices.
leigh, thank you for your powerful comment, which is full of truth and wisdom.
Very true Elizabeth, I love reading what people comment as it can show me another way of looking at the blog I have just read and they can bring a lot more understanding to what has just been talked about.
Loved your post Rebecca! I too can relate to being ‘one of the lads’… For me, this was not so much with drinking (although I revelled in being the ‘life’ and ‘clown’ of a party), but with keeping up on a physical level… I remember (with some sadness now) of unloading pallets of goods that we used to have delivered as part of our business, lifting and carrying cartons that were way too heavy for me – just to prove I could do it and didn’t need any help! And on more than one occasion, I did this when I was heavily pregnant… Since being associated with Universal Medicine and re-learning to care for myself more and more, I am slowly and gently re-learning to saying ‘no’ to doing things that are harming or simply ‘too much’ for my body, I am re-learning to ask for help when needed (still a work in progress!), and to appreciate this as a way not only of honouring myself as the gorgeous woman I am, but also as a beautiful way to appreciate men for who they are. In a day and age where the boundaries of men and woman have been fuzzled to such an extent that neither sex has the opportunity to see or appreciate the other for the beauty that they are, I have experienced that the more I claim myself as a gorgeous woman, the more I provide men the opportunity to deeply honour and appreciate this (as a model for their interactions with ‘all’ women), and to allow their own tenderness and gentleness come through in their own expression. So thank you again Rebecca for the reflection and the inspiration offered in your post!
Same here to ‘one of the lads’ Rebecca, and same here to waking up to the fact that there is a gorgeous woman inside me.
I drank so much alcohol in my early 20’s. I ate cake and chocolate everyday to stay awake. I also have severe digestive problems and am slowly working through them. It has helped me so much learning to eat what feels good in my body and to rest when I feel tired. I am feeling much more tender and lovely in my body as well.
Thanks Rebecca, confronting and inspiring. Confronting in the sense that I can feel the firmness in the joy which I don’t feel right now. And inspiring because you’re another example that has been trusting tenderness more and more.
Thank you Rebecca for sharing your journey of rediscovering the beauty-full woman within, it is a journey full of treasures of the heart…
Really lovely Rebecca, these are the sorts of self embracing accounts that could be presented in schools where that push to start drinking and following the crowd is so overwhelmingly strong.
Inspiring.
It has also made and continues to make a huge difference to my well being when I listen to my body and what food works for me and what does not. I also used to have digestive issues and now they are totally healed.
Mary-Louise Myers
I too can relate… I used to boast, that I could have beer with the boys and champagne with the girls… all the while pretending and being a chameleon to my surroundings, not sharing a single strand of me with anyone! I too developed a chronic disease of the digestive tract… this confirmed something wasn’t quite right in me and “out there” with the real world… it wasn’t until Universal Medicine popped into my scene that I could start to begin to unravel all those skewed thoughts into something that made a lot of simple, sense! Thank the heavens for Universal Medicine!!
Thanks Rebecca – what you say resonates with me very much. Feels like I too am undergoing a sex change but without the surgery!
What a beautiful way to express this Eunice.. “undergoing a sex change but without the surgery!” I can absolutely relate to this!
Learning to listen to what my body is telling me about all the things I put into it and how gently I use it or not has turned my life around as well, so I now live a healthier and more joyous ME.
Since attending workshops with Serge Benhayon I too have been learning to listen to my body more re food choices, sleep requirements, exercise needs, becoming more gentle in how I do things and being with myself more- conscious presence.
It has definitely changed my life- I now feel more vital, joyous and enjoy being with people. I am learning to love being the real me and not hide.
I can so feel the joy at the realisation that we can actually choose to be our naturally beautiful selves and not operate under some other ‘out there’ energy that makes us feel it is okay to abuse our bodies (with drinking, carrying heavy loads and filling our bodies with food that does not serve). It is wonderful that you had the courage and good sense to do what was necessary for your health when all around you were still living in self-destruct mode. You couldn’t but help run across Universal Medicine because you made those choices. Wow!
What a lovely, simple and sensible article. It is strange how we know what is true, know what we need to do and yet feel intimidated by all the other people who tell us differently. The example of seeing Serge fully claiming himself and living in love and truth, inspires and give permission for us to start to claim ourselves.
Beautifully said Nicola – and agreed – what a ‘lovely, simple and sensible article’.
That is true Amita, we enjoin the crowd as we don’t want to stand out as different. However, the truth is that we are all from the same essence and different to what we are pretending to be as we pretend to be all that we are not. By expressing who we truly are, we are not being different but the same as everyone else who is pretending to be different… so it may appear we are different but we are not and we are instead expressing what everyone will express sooner or later when we all stop playing this silly game!!!
Thank you Rebecca.
Oh gosh , yes I can relate so much to being one of the lads. It’s exactly what I did. At uni I used to race my male friends drinking pints of beer and compete to see how many pints I could consume in a night, I would sing all those degrading rugby songs. Wow. How amazing now to be engaging in feeling what it is like to be a gorgeous woman. How incredible the urge to feel the need to be more like a man to feel accepted to live in society. Why are we not encouraged as teenage girls to be our beautiful selves, why did we feel this was ‘less’ and we had to start behaving more like boys/men and harden? Thank you for bringing this more to my awareness.
Gosh was my feeling too Gina. Like reading a page of a biography of a past me I’d moved on from so far I had forgotten to take stock and appreciate. My ‘one of the lads’ drinking pints to keep up or out do the blokes led me by age 18 to an inflamed stomach lining and medical advice to cut right back on or not drink alcohol. Pretty dire to push the body so far. A few years of Universal Medicine and not only glady alcohol free for 7 plus years, but a body and life that is still transforming – now embracing life as a tender graceful woman which I love, and a developing goregous relationship with me. Thank God for Universal Medicine. Looking back on how awful things really were for my body and life, does make me appreciate all the more how far I and so many other have come. Thanks Rebecca.
agree Kate, looking back it seems mystifying why we would treat ourselves so harshly, but the desire to fit in and seem ‘normal’ can seem tempting. Now I am enjoying creating a new normal, one that my body naturally thrives on and reflects to others, so they too can redefine their normal.
I agree Kate, thanks to Universal Medicine speaking the truth of alcohol and its effect on our bodies our relationships and on our communities, it helped me to reawaken to the damage that we cause to everyone.. no matter how beautifully it is presented and packaged
Wow Rebecca, Kate and GIna I can really relate to what you have shared. I hadn’t ever considered myself ‘one of the lads’ as I always dressed feminine etc, however, I can absolutely see I played this game too. Drinking myself into oblivion and pretending that I cared about football etc. I can see now that none of the lads were ever really ‘one of the lads’ either but truly sensitive gentle men that were just as lost as I was.
I totally agree Gina, why aren’t young women being encouraged to honour and nurture who they truly are? I feel it’s partly because of the huge lack of true role models in this world, women who have the courage to stand up and claim themselves against a very strong tide. The few true role models in my life have been the catalyst for my own transformation and that of hundreds of others, such is the true power of the woman who claims herself in full.
a true role model can inspire others to ignite and bring forth the truth they discover within themselves,, and so the world gets to know another bringing in full who they truly are, and the whole world lights up that little bit more.
You wrote “I spent about 20 years of my life drinking, partying, trying to be ‘one of the lads’ and generally having a complete lack of self-worth”. I can so relate that but had not expressed it out loud until now so thank you Rebecca. I am still in the refining stages but I to have noticed a huge difference with my digestive system since I have stopped drinking and nearly eliminated all dairy and wheat.
Looks like doctors will be giving two remedies to patients with digestive issues.
1. A pharmaceutical drug that supports our bodies with pain.
2. How about trying not eating dairy or wheat or drink alcohol.
I have heard so many stories about how giving up these three things has changed physical and emotional aspects of peoples lives. I mean stories like these should be in the news.
I agree Madeline if people gave up these three things how beneficial would it be, based on the health benefits displayed by people involved with Universal Medicine the positives would be enormous
A good point Madeline, it does beg the question why a doctor would not consider the second option equally as the first and see how it goes.. Is it lack of training, or biased training, undue influence by powerful pharmaceutical companies, or a level of ignorance or deliberate blindness they do not want to see that which challenges something within them?