Hey, Maybe There Is Another Way

by Natalie Hawthorne, London, UK

My life is and always will be forever developing, and I’d like to share just two examples of where I started to look at it and say “hey, maybe there is another way”. Such as when I started to play with the idea of Self-Love and things stuck out like a sore thumb…

I was living the ‘normal life’ as a general manager of an extremely busy restaurant/bar; I started to realise that the way I was choosing to live wasn’t loving, nor did it feel right. I would take the deliveries, and as you can imagine, it’s with large quantities of stock involved with the beverage side of things… back then to me moving the kegs of beer and carrying all the bottles of wine to the storeroom to prove that I didn’t need any help and I was strong! (This being part of my Kiwi upbringing: girls can do anything – even play rugby!) I was ignoring any signs that I felt when I was straining myself, as it was good for me and making me strong!

Then, after attending a Universal Medicine course and pondering on what Serge Benhayon presented, I started to play with a few things. I questioned if actually I really had to roll the kegs and hoist them up, if that was something that I really needed to be doing. So when the delivery guys would come I would ask them to give me a hand, and they were very happy to do so. It was hard for me to do this, because from my early teens, if not earlier, I would have to do things on my own, to prove that I was capable, strong and independent. So yeah, it was a bit odd. The funny thing I found was, the men were pleased that I had asked, and that they could help – I thought they would be “luv we’re too busy for that”, and maybe the odd one did – but most were super keen to give me a hand. This is just one example of where I started to even look at my life and say “maybe it doesn’t need to be like this”.

The other main one for me was drinking alcohol and yep, how could a person running a restaurant/bar not drink?! It was hard – only because again, I would have started drinking on the weekends as a teenager around 15, then slowly as the years rolled on it became a regular, if not daily, habit. Many a time after a night out drinking I would be wrapped around the toilet seat throwing up the poison that I had put in! Working in the industry I would normally be working so I wouldn’t have that many nights out, but every night I would have at least one, if not two, glasses of wine…

So after a long go on that road, and after at least four years of attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations, I started to play with that one. It was hard being around it, but actually it was very easy at the same time, as I was starting to see it for what it truly was… I had of course seen it a long time before then but chosen not to see it. Alcohol is pretty full on … just watching it and seeing how people change from being who they are to these different people – I mean completely different people to who they really are – and it didn’t take loads of drinks for this to happen: for some it would be on the first drink, but for most at least by the end of their second one; they weren’t there. The main things that I observed were that people got louder and more excited, aggressive and started arguments – especially if you’re the one saying sorry, no more alcohol at the end of the night! Or even to the extreme that they would start a fight – these were the angry people that couldn’t keep the lid on it – the alcohol was the perfect place for it to show its face! People that were super lovely became really nasty; shy and quiet people became really confident and the joker, whereas some got all teary and upset. You name it, every emotion under the sun was heightened ten-fold. I even experienced a grown man thinking that the corner of the room was a toilet!

There were so many times I saw women that were drunk and not knowing what they were doing, head off with a stranger; and women trying to keep up with the blokes or even out-do them with their intake. (This had also been my domain, but I didn’t really do it very well; there were times when I had complete black-outs and could not remember where I had been or how I got to where I was… this was full-on and the anxiety and sadness that I would go into afterwards was huge!) Then they would be back out the next week, if not sooner, doing the same thing… just like it was for me, when I did it. It was fun, and I enjoyed it and don’t get me started on the wines and the fancy talk, but as I got to realise, it was my way of escaping and numbing my hurt and undealt with pain that I really enjoyed – because when you’re intoxicated that isn’t in your face to look at – there was a little part of me that knew there were things that made me sad, deep down where I had buried them so I could get on with life… and this meant I didn’t have to feel it.

To see this and realise that it actually didn’t make sense, and that I could socialise without a drink made me go, ‘well, ok, if this is what it’s all about I’m gonna give it a go – not drinking’. That was back in 2007, and I had the odd drink here and there for a while, but then I felt soooo bad after those ones I just didn’t want to do it anymore. The last one was on holiday with a boyfriend at the time, he really wanted a bottle of wine – every other couple in the restaurant was drinking, so he did; I said ‘yeah, I’ll have a glass’, and I had two sips and I seriously couldn’t bring myself to drink it! Just like it was when I first tried it when I was young but I forced myself to enjoy it. This was a long process for me, but today I can say that I feel AMAZING and I would never have a drop of alcohol again. Waking up every day clear headed and vital was a refreshing change.

Being inspired by Universal Medicine has given me the opportunity to see that some things that I was choosing to do were possibly not great for me; to play with it and discover it for myself. To be a woman who is becoming more and more gentle, self loving and honouring to herself: is this not beneficial for all then, not just me?

The thing is, I knew how I was living wasn’t great; I didn’t feel vital, calm and at ease with myself, but I was stuck in it. It only took the first workshop when I went to see what this guy Serge Benhayon was presenting and it all made complete sense – it was like I knew it already, he was just up front saying it!

It was a no brainer for me, to start to look at my ways and get honest (that hasn’t been very easy, sometimes) and to say “ok, let’s try another way” – what have I got to lose, OR, what have I got to gain?!

103 thoughts on “Hey, Maybe There Is Another Way

  1. I love reading about people’s experiences with alcohol. More so the fact in how they become affected and, the one commonality is the fact that they become someone/something different. They either let go of their personality or become possessed into something they are not.

    So there is no flamboyancy about alcohol. Millions of people around the world becoming separated from themselves, and it, alcohol, is never the answer to what is missing in their lives. No amount of substance we put on or into our bodies will ever bring that eternal settlement our Soul calls us to.

    The only and other way is to discover who you truly are by going within your own being and connecting to our Soul, that only loves. Anything else or less is a pollution from another place…

  2. Oh my goodness Natalie, this is an amazing blog and a very real sharing! The power of turning one’s life around and truly making a difference and not actually wanting to go back to habits that do not support us in any way is a testament indeed – and so many can learn from this in a much more real and practical way. When we see someone who has never had any alcohol and they share their experience it is one thing of course, but when you hear of someone who has drunk a lot and then turned that around, this is a very powerful reflection to those who are feeling stuck with a habit they do not realise that they can drop the moment they actually deal with the underlying current of tension that is there for us all.

    1. Henrietta, many around us have lived this experience of drinking as being the norm. I can recall taking clear alcohol and pouring it into a water bottle, which I carried in my handbag and ordered the soft drinks. I’d be drunk by the time I left the pub.

      A behaviour I’m not proud of as I did some silly things a long the way.

      My life is more mine since I stopped drinking seven years ago and it is the best decision I made, not only for me, but for my body. I can only understand why people turn to alcohol, as I had my reasons too. But it is also their choice to make the decision to not drink either. Everyone is and will be given that opportunity to do the same at some point in their life or the next.

  3. You have more of a chance to get to hang out with a real person when they are not drinking, for when they are under the influence of alcohol, you can see how it is no longer them.

  4. “… it was my way of escaping and numbing my hurt and undealt with pain that I really enjoyed – because when you’re intoxicated that isn’t in your face to look at”. Thanks Natalie for this line, because it highlights why many people drink alcohol, and also that we don’t have in place a true way to heal and support ourselves, and that we also aren’t acknowledging that human life is not great at all, and in fact it can feel very hurtful. There is so much more to us than the thinking mind – we are in fact deeply sensitive yet we don’t know how to respond with care and love to this deeper part of ourselves.

  5. Thank you Natalie, your story highlighted two things to me, one is that we do sense and know a better way for ourselves, and the second is that it sometimes takes the reflection of an inspiring person to support us to confirm what we know, so we can go with a more self honouring and self caring way of life.

    1. That is very true Melinda, that at some level we do know what is true, but we often need the reflection of someone leading the way, ‘it sometimes takes the reflection of an inspiring person to support us to confirm what we know, so we can go with a more self honouring and self caring way of life.’

  6. “I knew how I was living wasn’t great; I didn’t feel vital, calm and at ease with myself, but I was stuck in it” – this is so relatable, and we call that a life but as you say there is another way and it can start with us being a little bit more honest than we have ever allowed ourselves to be.

  7. I love the simplicity you show in observing simply what is going on and with that coming to true terms with yourself by understanding how you feel and why you are doing certain things to then realise that there is another way and step by step allow yourself to make different choices.

  8. ‘what I have got to gain?’ now that’s a different way to frame the question. We can so easily get lost in what we are loosing but what in fact do we gain … I gave up alcohol a few years back and it took time, I didn’t put any pressure on myself but I observed how I was with it, and eventually came to a point where I said ‘why am I drinking this … I don’t like it’ … and then I remembered how as a young woman I’d taught myself to drink so I’d fit in with my friends and it took me on a journey of 15 years before I stepped back and remembered I don’t like this and I definitely don’t like how it makes me feel. And the great thing about doing it this way, finding our own way with it, is we have a lived experience of it from our bodies and our lives, not for an idea someone has but how we feel. Now it’s not even a thought that I would drink alcohol, I actually forget I ever did, and I’ve gained such an amazing relationship with me in the process.

    1. What your story holds here Monica, is how very important the aspect of self-love and self-care is in our lives, because only then can we go lovingly about what is really going on in our lives, leaving the harshness and ‘have-tos’ and ‘must-dos’ behind, and let go of what is not working for us.

  9. Beautiful what you have shared Natalie, thank you, what you described in the changes to people who drink alcohol are so true, but the need to escape from feeling our hurts is so strong that we seem to care little about how we are affected. When we become aware that there is another way true change can come about.

  10. You raise some great points here about alcohol, I remember when Serge was presenting about alcohol and everything he presented made total sense, at first when I gave up it was relatively easy, until my friends kept insisting I have something stronger, rather than a soft drink, and then I realised the truth was my not drinking alcohol made them feel uncomfortable because they had to question their own choices as to why they were drinking, and maybe it’s not that good for you.

  11. ‘So when the delivery guys would come I would ask them to give me a hand, and they were very happy to do so.’ Natalie you bring up a great point here, we as women often choose to struggle rather than ask for help, and when we do guys often fall over themselves to help, and they are pleased to be asked.

    1. Yes, I have been learning to ask for help as I was always a very independent person who could do anything, ‘from my early teens, if not earlier, I would have to do things on my own, to prove that I was capable, strong and independent.’

  12. If we are honest in our observation its true Natalie, consuming alcohol can change people and allow them to show ‘another face’ so that ‘every emotion under the sun was heightened ten-fold’ – which we cannot deny can lay the foundations for and lead on to much abuse.

  13. I can so relate to that being able to do things alone, not needing help thing and being as good as men. Accepting myself in a woman’s body and honouring what it needs is a work in progress for me, and keeps showing me the disregard towards myself that I did not see before.

  14. I can so relate to this one, ‘I would have to do things on my own, to prove that I was capable, strong and independent.’ Now with an injury I have had to be asking for support and help with my suitcases when travelling, and more recently with some bags of compost being carried, and as you say the men were pleased to help and loved the chatting and connection.

  15. Natalie, I could see myself in most of what you described. Both from being a participant but also an observer. We know that alcohol is a dangerous substance and it has a significant impact on our health, relationships and our communities. However in saying that everything about alcohol is downplayed, so much so that we consider that a small amount is good for us. This notion or belief is certainly worth questioning when we consider the vast damage that is done with alcohol. I have been in some very precarious positions because of alcohol and probably more from good luck than good management, nothing serious happened. But why do we need to wait for the serious to happen before we start to ask ourselves questions about “how is this truly affecting me”?

  16. This phrase is gold.
    “ok, let’s try another way”, as Natalie shares here it was the thought that opened her to give living differently a go in different areas of her life. What if we all allowed ourselves the very same grace?

  17. Living on a farm I am always looking to find ways to support me especially during the lambing season eg. having hurdles placed in the sheep pens to save me lifting and carrying them, water close by so that I do not carry water far and the same for silage makes lambing so much easier and gentler on my body especially in the night. I am finding in most cases there is a way round situations where I can support my body in what I do but it is about being totally honest with myself and others.

  18. So much to gain by experimenting with another way when the current way isn’t working. I’ve been playing with this over the years and my life has definitely changed for the better. Sometimes quite subtle changes, but very profound at the same time. It can be really hard at times to get yourself out of the way and let go of doing things a certain way purely because it’s habit and change can be uncomfortable in the beginning. But taking it a step at a time and reminding yourself it’s purely an experiment takes the pressure off any expectations.

  19. Alcohol use can be such a tetchy subject with many, and I can’t help but agree with your conclusion about your own use of it Natalie – that it was essentially used as a ‘numbing agent’, to block out/diminish/bury the realities of one’s life and the hurts you harboured within oneself. And so it makes sense that we can get so defensive and attacking even, towards those who don’t drink, especially when we see people thriving so amazingly without it, that they wouldn’t want a drop of the stuff to pass their lips for the harm they know it would bring.
    This is how I also feel today, after many years of drinking in my life. The key has been, restoring the love for self, and dealing with any elements of the past that may linger, and leave me wanting a checking out/relief experience from life, rather than truly appreciating and engaging in every moment of it.

  20. At the time this blog was written, there were several absolute falsities circulating through certain media publishers about students of Universal Medicine (UM) – via the work of irresponsible journalists and their publishers who would rather listen to the falsities passed onto them by a very small band of cyber-bullies and basically smear/hate campaigners (and thus publish ‘sensationalist content’), rather than any sensible rendition of the actual truth.
    That students of UM, free going and fee-paying attendees at courses and presentations, were ‘mindless followers’ was one such falsity that ended up doing its rounds… Your blog here Natalie turns this on its head completely. Your approach to considering, exploring and observing the place of alcohol in your life and that of others, was exactly that – your own approach, taken by a clearly discerning and wise woman in her own time, and not made at the behest of some ‘guru’s’ command. The very notion of the latter is ridiculous beyond measure.
    How completely demeaning it is, to label someone a mindless follower, with the intent clearly that their voice of actual experience be diminished and invalidated in the public eye.

  21. I never enjoyed the feeling of loosing control when drinking alcohol. It scared me, because I no longer felt like I could choose what was happening, like I’d given over the reins of my body and mind to an energy that has no regard for me or anyone else for that matter! I no longer drink alcohol and there is nothing I miss about it.

  22. I love your approach Natalie, to consider, well let’s try something different. We can often get so stuck in certain ways of doing things and yet we allow ourselves to explore another way we find that actually it’s ok and the world hasn’t fallen down. And it’s really about being honest with what works for us and what doesn’t and over time honouring that honesty as you’ve done here.

  23. A very refreshing read, that it is ok to look at how we live and look a little closer at those moments and habits in life where we know they can’t be it and how amazing changes can occur when we allow ourselves to observe and become more honest and loving with ourselves. Thank you Natalie.

  24. Thank you Natalie, I loved reading about the way your relationship with alcohol and life has changed. If I read this blog 10 years ago I never would have imagined that I too would one day be living alcohol free. Now after almost 5 years free of alcohol I can wholeheartedly say that I wish I’d never touched a drop of the stuff. I do not miss alcohol at all, in fact my life is richer for its absence.

  25. It is lovely to come to a place where you discover that not only is there another way but it’s one worth taking for it brings you everything you only hoped life would be. When I look back I certainly don’t miss what I walked away from but deeply appreciate everything Universal Medicine showed me was possible through choosing wisely.

  26. It’s funny how attached we can get to particular behaviours, patterns and thoughts that even though we know are not that loving for ourselves we struggle to let go of them because they do provide a familiar comfort. But this whole process of letting go can become much easier when we start to view the space created from what we let go of as a potential space we can use to fire ourselves up with more enjoyable behaviours that are both loving and caring.

  27. it’s like we do know it but have chosen not to see it. so it is interesting to then explore what is actually underneath that impulse to drink alcohol (substitute chocolate, sugar, caffeine,etc) and the layers we have crowded on top to not be fully conscious and aware of the immediate harm we are bringing to ourselves. And the more we are aware, the greater freedom we have to make the choice between an impulse that destroys us further or a choice to remain more deeply aware, present, and connected to who we truly are.

  28. I used to work in bars, clubs and pubs from age 18 onward. The culture was very thick and we were all encouraged to drink through our shifts, drinks were free there was a constant stream of them. Not to mention all the other things that were offered to you from the customer base. These white powered ‘gifts’ were mostly from older men that wanted more than their drinks brought to them on a tray.
    At 12 midnight all the staff would stop working momentarily, the DJ would even stop the music. There was a huge triangle tower worth of shots that were lite on fire by one of the bar guys, the whole club would watch us drink them – laughing, all young and attractive, sending out an image that said so much with so little words, it said -we are so cool – we are all friends – we live in the best place in Australia, Byron Bay – party glamorously all night and lay on the beach all day – life is about fun and indulgence.

    The reality was I would finish work around 3.30 – 4 in the morning, then wind down drinks with staff and VIPs for a couple of hours after close – open bar. Home Between 7 and 8 in the morning, my 4-year-old niece would come in to my room when I got home, she wanted to play, my sister would still be asleep and so we would play – I stunk of booze in a skimpy outfit and in hindsight I realized how horrible that was but at the time, it was normal.

    I love this article – I can really relate, I remember the last time I drank was with my old boyfriend and we had champagne out, we were so drunk when we came back from dinner and then we both decided that it was not worth it, we felt like differnt people. I became so affected emotionally and physically from drug and alcohol consumption that the glamour slowly became just an addiction that was hard to kick until I met Serge Benhayon and his philsophy was just so relatable, it joined all the dots, then stopping was easy for I understood why I was doing it in the first place. Thanks for sharing your story – it made me compelled to share a bit of mine.

    1. Sarah, a book in your story – one day to share with all. For I know you well today and what you have to offer us all is beyond the stars, so thank God you connected to this and now can bring this to us each and every day, more and more unfolding as you allow it more. A blessing to us all.

  29. Yes Natalie just focusing on a choice to being self loving, ignites a level of honesty that supports true change. Once out the other side of my drinking habit, I can’t imagine how I ever chose it in the first place, what energy got into me to change a non drinker into a drinker…. Worth pondering!!

  30. I have learnt that we don’t really gain anything by trying to be independent, because after years of doing things on my own and never accepting any help I now accept help when offered, and am willing to ask for help when I need to, I no longer struggle to prove a point, because I am now not sure what I was trying to achieve or prove other than not being open with everyone and trying to protect myself.

  31. It is so true that when decide to live in a different way that is more self loving it is very easy to focus on what we will miss out on rather than what we have to gain. But by living with more self love and self regard we really have far more to gain than lose.

  32. I know for me because I was so attached to my very ingrained ways of doing things that most of the population call normal reality, it would have been almost unthinkable to go against these even if I knew deep down that they were doing me harm. Serge Benhayon has inspired me to reconnect to my body and an underlying absolute truth of what is loving or not that I now give more permission to be there than I have ever done previously. The key for me to this process has been learning to listen to what by body says rather than my mind.

  33. To be curious about exploring another way of living is a precious thing, as it shows there is an openness and a willingness to change. To find the true way and explore this is magnificent in its healing.

  34. “I had of course seen it a long time before then but chosen not to see it.” This really struck a chord with me. I never really enjoyed alcohol but everyone else was drinking it so I did too in order to ‘fit in’. When I attended a presentation by Serge Benhayon and he presented the energetic truth about alcohol and the fact that it is a known poison I realised the harm I was choosing to inflict on my own body. There is another way, The Way of the Livingness is to choose a way of living that is in harmony with yourself and everyone around you as you find your way back to who you truly are.

    1. I agree Mary that there is often a truth to things that we are actually aware of but choose to suppress or ignore. I know for me this has been mostly because I did not want to stand out as being different or make others feel uncomfortable. When we collude with each other we can make anything seem like a reality in life but is this reality always our natural loving way or something else?

  35. Those different manifestations of alcohol playing out in various personality types are spot on and we can all recognise having seen or even been them. But I’ve always been an advocate of maximising my vitality and minimising its detriment so I too gave up alcohol in favour of a clear head and sound judgement. It is not an easy process when there’s a bottle waiting to fill you a glass at every corner. The social pressure to stay in the collusion that ‘just one’ won’t matter is huge. But it is only by going on a process of self-discovery with it that you can truly appreciate the benefits of being an alcohol-free zone and from there choose to truly honour the body that accompanies you in everything you do.

  36. “It was a no brainer for me, to start to look at my ways and get honest (that hasn’t been very easy, sometimes) and to say “ok, let’s try another way” – what have I got to lose, OR, what have I got to gain?!” Absolutely Natalie. And when we do make changes – wow the differences we feel and see in ourselves and in others who choose to make changes too. There definitely is another way.

  37. A transformational story right here! The steps to discover what is right for us or not is a delightful journey that is a pace decided by the individual. We all have a choice to how we wish to be and the journey of realisations is as important as the choices itself. Without the on-going learning our choices would never change.

  38. I can remember the last time I drank a pint of Guinness, one of my many tipples, and how it felt like I was pouring poison into my bloodstream, which of course I was. Incredible how growing our awareness can change so radically the health choices we make. As you say Natalie, Serge Benhayon presents something that we deep down all know but I had certainly blocked out prior to listening to him. Not drinking is completely amazing, one of the best choices I ever made.

  39. Great points you raise here Natalie, stopping drinking has been the best decision I ever made, the effects of this poison on my body was deeply harming and my behaviour changed considerably when I drank. At first people judged me and I lost a few friends but now some members of my family no longer drink as well enjoying social events without needing a drink has felt very empowering to say the least.

  40. Great blog Natalie. Alcohol was a big part of my life but it was also a source of much anxiety – coming from a family with a few alcoholics. Stopping drinking it came after several years of feeling this decision building so when it came to it, I was very clear that I did not want it in my body any more. It was several years after that when I attended presentations by Serge Benhayon that I really started to understand and appreciate how awesome this decision was. It was my first truly self-loving choice.

  41. I love the honesty in this blog and how you looked at what what was really happening for you under the surface. it amazes me that I was also so ‘into’ drinking or at least that’s what it looked like. I would never question having a drink. I would go into work hungover when I was in my twenties, and yes regret it. It was only when I was hungover and talking to a new friend of mine that a shift in me happened. I was telling her how hungover I was and I then discovered that she didn’t drink. But she didn’t seem boring or socially awkward or on the fringes of society. She was so full of life, so refreshing and so into life, how could she not drink? The contrast of her vitality and my sorry state, and her inspirational presence, made me realise there was a choice to drink or not. But what I also felt was a huge feeling that it made sense to not drink, and made no sense at all for me to be drinking. What I also connected to was the feeling that I couldn’t keep playing the Jekyll and Hyde when I drank as people were beginning to notice and I was feeling more and more uncomfortable with this change under the influence of alcohol.

    1. Simone, this is an amazing piece of writing in itself and worthy of a blog. i would love to read more on this as it is a hugely important experience you share and shows how much we can affect another person just by the way we are, and that not drinking is not not boring, in fact the two are mixed up in my view. I know from my own experience that many people drink, as i did, just to fit in, yet it is not what they really want to do but end up reacting to the negative portrayal there are given by others that they are being boring and become scared of being socially outcast. Of course as your story shared your friend showed you another way you can choose to live.

  42. Brilliant read thank you Natalie, I could so relate to parts that you wrote. It is amazing how we develop a taste for alcohol even when the body is telling us not to drink it, we just override it and blindly carry on without a second thought, until such time that we see there is another way.

  43. This is a great question..”To be a woman who is becoming more and more gentle, self loving and honouring to herself: is this not beneficial for all then, not just me?” Yes definitely more beneficial for all..and how!

  44. The way you talk about how people are on alcohol was a real eye opener for me. Everything that you speak about is of absolute truth and for someone that is young growing up in a house hold full of alcohol can be so damaging. For all people actually, the effects are dangerous and can lead to many different emotional and physical problems.

  45. It has been 15 years now that I stopped drinking alcohol – that was long before meeting Serge Benhayon. But when I met Serge 3 years ago he made me aware that there is a cause behind wanting to drink. And during all this time I hadn’t addressed this cause yet. I had just switched the symptom (needing to drink alcohol) to a different part of my life (needing sweet foods) and up till today I am still unfolding the symptom in its deeper layers.

  46. Awesome that you made the decision to go to bed earlier and avoid alcohol without consulting anyone. If we allow ourselves to peel away the layers of protection we can then discern what is the right course for ourselves and hold true to that. Thank you for sharing Natalie.

  47. Thank you for sharing your journey, Natalie. What really stood out for me was that you had been attending Universal Medicine presentations for 4 years before you decided to have a go at making this change. It’s beautiful that you had allowed yourself to wait until you were ready, and this proves that with Universal Medicine nobody tells you what to do, it just presents the truth and it’s entirely up to each individual what to do with it. Yes, not having alcohol is definitely ‘another way’, but this way of reawakening the deeply held truth inside us and learning to develop a relationship with it to make everyday choices based on that truth – is also ‘another way’.

  48. What a fantastic Blog Natalie, to the point, relatable, inspiring! I too have experimented with different ways of living to what I came to accept as normal. I have never regretted making changes and are consistently inspired to keep looking at what works and what could do with a different approach. My body happens to adore everything I have let go of especially not drinking !

  49. Awesome real, lived and personal experienced blog, Natalie. Beautiful to read these 2 examples of you experimenting with how things can be different for you. Nobody told you what to do or let go of, you felt in your own body the difference and did it when you felt you were ready for it. Very powerful.

  50. Yes Natalie, I have found it so liberating as well, to be able to realise that there IS another way. Thinking we need to drink because everybody does, if we like it or not; nearly like my dad used to say to me when I wanted something ‘because Jane is allowed’, he said: “If everybody jumped off a cliff, would you want to do it too?” How true is this, so many of us have been doing that in many various forms, just because it’s ‘normal’. The small voice inside me that knew that drinking alcohol was not a true way of being was just being pushed down.

  51. Very lovely sharing Natalie! It is amazing how a developed awareness are changing patterns slowly..I could see many things leave my life, one at a time, since I know Serge- his clarity and presentation started this process in me and I am glad for everything I don´t need anymore and for everyday that it took.

  52. Beautiful and inspiring to read how you made other choices, without judging yourself. You gave yourself the time and space and because you made the choice yourself, out of care and love for yourself, you were at some point able to say no to alcohol.

  53. ‘Let’s try another way…..’ Makes so much sense. Thanks for a great honest blog, Natalie. Alcohol and I never got on, it was the sugar hit I was after; just another way to get stimulation because I didn’t feel full enough just being me.

  54. When I read this Natalie, it reminded me of my old drinking days and I am full of appreciation that I can say ‘old’. My life without alcohol, has become so normal that those days now feel like a lifetime ago. Something, back then, that I would never have thought possible.

  55. Great story about how you finally allowed yourself to feel the truth you had always known. How do we get so far away from ourselves? It’s incredible to think we do this when the truth is always there deep within us wherever we go and whatever we do.

  56. Thanks for sharing Natalie, alcohol is just so common place in our society today, most people are not willing to be honest about what is really going on and the effects it is really having. Much of what you observed is what I see too and although many other people can see and admit a lot of this, they are unwilling to look at why they themselves drink, or to see that it might be a problem -as long as they are not considering themselves as an alcoholic its fine, (yet they drink on a daily basis). I’d say it’s probably one of the worst drugs you can do when you look at the big picture.

    1. “As long as they are not considering themselves as an alcoholic…” – that’s it, Laura, you nailed it. People who drink expensive wine or whisky or even beer every day don’t consider themselves alcoholics.
      So they simply don’t want to know about terrible damage alcohol does to the body and our society.
      Putting a pretty label and making spirits more expensive doesn’t change the fact that it is poison.

      1. Yep, we’ve done a great job of tarting up the poison, as well as making it the be all and end all of most social and celebration occasions.
        It actually feels so amazing to live life looking after your body, it’s time to turn the tables and bring true nurture and care to all situations, and not accept such a level of disregard, when everything around us points to just how destructive it is.

  57. What Serge Benhayon presents is common sense, and as you share, what you already knew inside but hadn’t chosen to live. These are great examples of making choices based on being honest about how your body felt, not because you were told to do so.

  58. Good for you Natalie, I love how you waited until you were ready to make any decisions and you didn’t just make changes for the sake of making changes.

  59. Natalie I love how you share ‘Waking up every day clear headed and vital was a refreshing change.’ If we are all honest we have all felt, seen and are very aware of the hurt, and the destructive and spirited way alcohol has on our own and others lives. I have definitely found living an alcohol free life allows my everyday to be far more clear, simple, vibrant and true. It is awesome to get off the illusional and numbing merry go round of just one more drink won’t hurt, just one more round won’t hurt because ultimately it does always hurt – either your own body and maybe even someone else.

  60. Posing this question to myself, I find that I gain back my own rhythm. Something no money in the world could pay for. No drink, no cheese, no chocolate, no Peanuts weigh out the pleasure of being and breathing in my rhythm.

  61. “what have I got to lose, OR, what have I got to gain?!” What a GREAT question. So often I (and everyone else) get fixated on what we lose when we are asked to change, and be more. But the focus is on the wrong thing – making the changes you are talking about Natalie is so much more about bringing a richness back into everyday life. Not about losing something that never really served in the first place.

    1. You’re so right Simonwilliams8, we automatically look at the negative first – what are we loosing. If we are creating change are we not doing it, to improve our lives? I’m going to start focusing on what I am gaining because I’m worth it.

  62. These two are examples of how far away we are from ourselves and how much we choose to abuse our body and we find excuses to convince ourselves that this is the way. And how easy is to renounce them – to our total benefit.

  63. Lovely to read how you have found another way that is loving and honouring of your body, and it’s wonderful that you are able to live this in a work environment that is dominated by alcohol.

  64. Awesome blog Natalie. Observing people drinking when your sober really highlights the farcical nature of our culture and the damage it does. It is indeed a poison and aside from the tears and arguments, its affects are globally catastrophic with a shocking 2.5 million alcohol related deaths per year! When I was younger I used to think I couldn’t live without it and if I did life would be utterly boring, so I too am so grateful to Serge Benhayon for showing me that this is so far from the truth and that there is another way and it is amazing.

  65. Thank you Natalie for sharing how you have found another way, one that honors you, your well-being, your vitality and all the love you naturally are and bring. Truly inspiring.

  66. Awesome deeply honest blog, I especially loved the last paragraph “It was a no brainer for me, to start to look at my ways and get honest (that hasn’t been very easy, sometimes) and to say “ok, let’s try another way” – what have I got to lose, OR, what have I got to gain?!” – this just makes so much sense- thank you.

  67. it amazes me that we can try something like wine when we are younger and be completely repulsed by it, and then eventually end up forcing ourselves to drink it when we grow up and then say we love it?? I couldn’t even stand the smell of beer let alone the taste of it, YUK! and it was so freeing to give up the need that i thought I had to drink alcohol because it is ‘normal’. Thanks for sharing your story.

    1. I remember that so well – especially with Beer and Whisky which are both taste disgusting, until you build up some sort of association with them (acquire the taste). Bonkers really when you consider we are forcing ourselves to like the taste of something that costs a small fortune and poisons us!

  68. Thanks for sharing this Natalie, I can relate very much to what you said. I too found alcohol quite repulsive when I first tried it and similarly overrode this for a few years!
    I love the way that Serge Benhayon presents living harmoniously, fully in life, not retreating to a cave or meditating for hours. This I found really inspiring and encouraged me to find a way to live what feels true for me.

  69. I really appreciate how you chose to give up alcohol slowly over time as your body told you it was not working for you, it is great you listened to your body when trying a new way rather than listening to another or an idea on how you should do it, thanks Natalie for your inspiring way

  70. It was lovely reading how, as you started to realise shifting heavy weights was in truth too much of an ask for the female body, the men were also given the opportunity to support you to move the kegs, Natalie.
    I have found most men innately cherish and support women – if the woman isn’t trying to ‘out-male’ them to prove she’s their equal.
    To me, the EQUAL is that each gender has its own special way to be Love in this world that is of EQUAL IMPORTANCE. We don’t have to be the SAME, as you have discovered. Yay!

    1. Hi Judy, well put.
      I also was stuck in trying to out male men – from a very young age. I grew up on a cane farm and prided myself as working like a man. I would plant cane – taking the place of a man (this is extremely physical work and long days) and would end up with swollen hands from all the splinters. I have fought large cane fires with only my dad and younger sister and I have chipped weeds out of plant cane for days with my dad and another man. These were big men and I was pushing to keep up with them. I prided myself to work hard, so hard that I had numb legs from sciatica due to the swelling and inflammation but true to form kept working. I have concreted etc, the list goes on and on and on. Have you ever tried to be handed a tractor seat down from a tractor? They are sooo heavy but obviously my dad thought I was the man for the job — I think it could have actually killed me!!
      How lovely it is now to be a woman with my dad. A strong loving feminine woman. I no longer have to prove my worth or measure myself from how much of a ‘man’ I am. I can feel how much I offer everyone around me by the tenderness and uncompromising love I offer and stand for as a woman.
      The world is a better place with me being a beautiful woman rather than me striving to be a tough capable man.

    2. I had a business that involved lifting a lot of boxes on delivery day. I took it upon myself to do it all, plus serve customers and bake bread. When I had a thyroid problem it affected my muscles and I could no longer lift the boxes so I had no choice but to allow my male staff to do all the lifting. They thrived on the responsibility I was giving them and it allowed me to see that I didn’t have to do everything myself.

  71. This is so beautifully and simply expressed, Natalie. Thank you. You’ve so lovingly and so unjudgingly (is that a word?) shared what many/most/all(?) of us have chosen to do at one point or another: ignore the signs we are given that something we’re doing or allowing isn’t quite right.

    1. I agree, we have all been down this track to different degrees and different circumstances and there comes a time to say ..”“ok, let’s try another way” – what have I got to lose, OR, what have I got to gain?!” That can be the real turning point in out lives!

  72. This morning I read an article that was posted on FB about effects of alcohol and caffein on our brain. The whole article could have been the length of one of the sentences: “Your body sees alcohol as a poison, or at least as something it doesn’t actually want inside it.”
    I remember when I was younger (before I got into the alcohol culture) reading and hearing about people having blackouts – I confess I did not believe it was truly possible to be so intoxicated to not remember a thing! Until of course it happened to me on few occasions and that’s when the alarm bells started seriously ringing – I knew it was time to give up that poison but it still took hearing Serge’s presentation which, as you say Natalie, was my knowing but he was just up front saying it. Life with no alcohol is so much better, clearer, easier, more economical and healthier – all in all a JOY!
    The ones who don’t benefit from me, you and alike is the large alcohol industry. However, we have all seen the power shift with tobacco so perhaps with more health care professionals and scientists speaking about true damage that alcohol causes to individuals, society, national health services and economy at large, this industry too will slowly get stripped off it’s powers and influences for the benefit of Humanity!

    1. I remember the blackouts, usually after what I would have described at the time as a particularly big night out. It was disorienting, it always came with the most dreadful feelings the next morning, and for some weird reason it was championed, like I had succeeded. I look back now and ponder “succeeded at what?”. To have come so far from myself as to quite simply not even be able to recall what I am doing.. what kind of life is that?

      1. Thats a really big thing, the success aspect in it. There is this myth around that a big night out and the fun is success and the more we intoxicate the better. A couple of days ago I went to see a doctor for a check up and he recommended me to follow the basic nutritional advices. I told him that I live gluten, dairy and sugar free and he interrupted me and said … “and you probably don’t smoke and don’t drink any alcohol, how boring is that!” At the same time he told me that he has sleeping problems!!! It is quite shocking how the normalization of casual intoxication is rooted in people and a doctor is judging me for not drinking and smoking!!!

  73. Many of the things you describe were part of my life too particularly in my younger days. I remember being so shocked and afraid when I had totally blacked out and forgotten whole nights but I would be back for more the next weekend overriding what my body was trying to tell me.
    It’s amazing when you start to get in touch with how your body truly feels that your body lets you know in no uncertain terms what is and isn’t ok for it. I recall the last time I tried to drink a glass of wine. Like you I had virtually stopped drinking but occasionally had a glass or a half a glass. About 6 years ago I was at a friends 40th birthday and for the toast someone poured me some red wine ( it had been my favorite). I thought, “What the hell it can’t hurt.” I took a few sips and almost instantly felt lethargic and uncoordinated and heavy in my body. I did not finish the glass and awoke the next morning with a fuzzy head as if I had had several drinks instead of a few sips.
    I love that I never have to feel like that again and I agree its not about what I have given up but what I have gained
    The funny thing that I have found is that I thought that I needed alcohol to help me feel more confident and comfortable in social situations, however since I have stopped drinking and made other self loving choices I am more confident and comfortable than I have ever been.

  74. Thanks Natalie, an honest and awesome account of your self that we can all enjoy and learn from. So true how much alchohol changes everyone, and from my experience never for the better either. Can fully relate and heal some of my own similar past… ☺

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