287 thoughts on “The Difference in Love”

1. Love is the space to be who we are, be it alone or with another. No need to fall with the weight of expectations, pictures or dramas, but just surrendering to the lightness and the joy of that beingness when meeting with others.

2. Emotional love and true love are worlds apart, ‘ There truly is no neediness when we are connected to the love we are, it is complete in itself, yet always with the potential for expansion.’

3. Beautiful where you have come to with love, ‘There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves. If this relationship was to end, we both know that this is true love and would further act as a marker to make or create love with others in the world.’

4. Thanks Ariel, it was so super lovely to read this again, and it highlights so well the differences between emotional love and true love – the love that begins with being the love we are and sharing this with others. There truly is no neediness when we are connected to the love we are, it is complete in itself, yet always with the potential for expansion.

   1. Yes, the first relationship we have is with ourselves, so how important is it to fully love ourselves, ‘There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves.’

5. Love is a foundation that is forever expanding as we deepen in the wisdom of how we can live in a self-loving way first so we can then commit to another fully, then we can both expand our levels of Love together.

6. We starve ourselves of love when we are not being true to ourselves, from that place, we need someone/something to fill us up, and we set ourselves up to get hurt because what we get from outside is only a substitute and it will never be as good as the love that we are already.

7. beautifully said Ariel, I can feel the love you are describing it is deep and warm and interestingly it has a flow to it the breathing in and the breathing out of life.

8. Do we use love to fill us up, make us whole, take up that emptiness inside? Or are we so in love ourselves that our cup is overflowing with love and there is no choice but for us to express that / be that in every situation?

9. What a beautiful love you have discovered for yourself and I can see how it is possible for everyone to experience this love for themselves.

   1. Yes, love is something that we all are, and it our choice to accept this.

10. Control cannot ever be complete. Control is a movement that does not lead to completion either.

11. Love is such a bastardized word. All the stories and movies set us up for fake romance and happy endings. This has become ‘normal’ for most of us. And then Serge Benhayon comes along and presents the truth and completeness of true love: a feeling that keeps forever expanding and deepening and is there for all equally.

    1. Adding to what you have shared Monika, love has an energetic quality and as everything is energy we can allow our-selves to live in the energetic truth of how love is an energy we can align to and thus deepen in our understanding of “true love”.

    2. Love is very bastardised, and it’s bastardised very precisely – to be the opposite of what love truly is. Clever.

12. I have definitely experienced emotional love that you describe here and true love and I know that true love definitely comes with a steadiness and a strength and is not flighty or heightened at all but deeply settling and settled and clear and holding of myself and others in its space.

13. The truth of the love that you are now living is really evident in this blog Ariel, and a great role model for your peers and beyond. What struck me about the phrase ‘having a crush’ on someone is that perhaps that word ‘crush’ is exposing the fact that it is an imposing way of being with someone where your infatuation with them is actually not allowing either them or yourself to be without any neediness or something in return. This is surely ‘crushing’ on an emotional level.

    1. Good pick up Michael, the expectations and needs are indeed crushing!

14. This was one of the first blogs about love that I ever read and I have never forgotten it. For a long time I was addicted to emotional rollercoaster interactions that were not about love at all. Connecting to the truth about love is immensely powerful.

    1. Absolutely Leonne, forget the theme parks, and simply feel what our bodies have connected to when we understand how our love is inter-connected to our essences and thus God. As God has always been within and it is us, through our loving choices to return to God and the Love he shares.

15. What we have felt and done in the name of love that had no ounce of it shows us how easy it is to get lost in images we fell in love with because they do not press any buttons in us.

16. ‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all. I don’t feel like he is the missing part of me because I am full of love for myself.’ I hadn’t quite considered love in this way, what a brilliant and wise sharing.

17. “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete” – beautiful. This is such a contrast to what so many think being in love with someone is like.

18. Ariel there is an ageless wisdom to all you have shared here. You have allowed yourself to discover the truth about love and live it’s truth with yourself first and then with others. In a world full of false love this is amazing! Particularly with romantic relationships there can be a belief system that is based on needing to be dependent on the other persons love, but as you have shared that love begins with ourselves first, it’s something we connect to within and then share with others.

19. This is a great description of love and It is interesting how we need to speak of true love to explain love. Maybe if we started to express things more in line how we really feel in each moment, i.e. I need you, I want you, I adore you, I like this or that about you etc., we would step by step get a feeling of what (true) love is.

    1. Life would certainly be different if we expressed with the honesty of how things actually are. “I’m only dating you because you look good and it’s making me feel temporarily better about myself.” 🙂 How different life would be if we all actually spoke with absolute honesty and truth.

       1. Yes, honesty is a big step towards truth and when we are honest we do feel when someone is not speaking their truth, thus it just takes a bit of practice for ourselves to express what we are feeling instead of going through the, over the years learned, steps of filtering of what we are saying to fit into the world. It is refreshing to be honest as it allow us to open our hearts again.

20. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship based on a true foundation of love is that there is no end to the love that is shared and it grows if you allow it to with each and every day.

    1. So true Joshua. I grew Up believing that love could vanish and die and it left me feeling fearful and bereft. I am now certain that love is eternal and unwavering and this has made a huge difference to my relationships.

21. Beautifully expressed Ariel, a woman who truly knows herself and how she feels about being in relationship. Refreshing to read such clarity about relationships…

22. I remember a time when I was addicted to this ‘high’ of so called falling in love otherwise known as the ‘honeymoon period’ And could not figure out why it did not last or sustain itself. However now I have connected with a deeper level of love for myself which has naturally flowed out to all others around me I can feel the steadiness and consistency and joy that is true love without the highs and lows and excitement. Just a constant unwavering holding and understanding and deep equality that you speak of so beautifully here in this blog Ariel. Thank you so much for writing about and living true love.

    1. Thank you Andrew, that is a really good point and has given me much to reflect up and appreciate. I’ve experienced the false love and honeymoon period as well, and now I’m enjoying the steady, consistent love that comes from within, and this is now deepening to be felt as a beholding love. There is such a lot to appreciate about the many changes we have all made with the support of Serge Benhayon.

23. I very much like the facts of what love actually feels like, the solid knowing and inner confidence that emanates from one living love is palpable. It is never too late to make such living our way of being in the world.

    1. Absolutely Leigh, we are never too old to allow true love in our lives.

24. The ease in which we can simply share ourselves is very real and a truly loving way to live, so why is it that we all, each of us often find ourselves in relationships and situations where we feel we cannot express how we feel to? This phenomena is one that each of us needs to break, for it is the lack of communication that ultimately causes cracks in our relationships.

25. This is a great description of what I would call true love and is very different from the usual models and pictures of love that are put out there in the world.

26. And here lies a lesson in true love!

27. The more I experience and feel true love the more emotional love stands out and feels yucky. Both giving and receiving emotional love is the complete opposite as it is very abusive.

28. Ariel a great blog, emotional love takes us on a roller coaster ride, one minute we are up and the next we are down, quite exhausting really, on the other hand true love has no roller coaster, it has a gentle incline as we become deeper, more honest and truly loving.

    1. Love that Sally – I’ll take the gentle incline every time now I know what it feels like.

29. A beautiful understanding and sharing of true love. The love we have deep within our inner-heart is a love that can be felt by us all.

30. ‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all. ‘ – hugely inspiring for the whole world to hear of what is possible, and what true love actually is.

31. It is great to knock out the age thing, wisdom can be shared by any one of any age, and thank you Ariel for sharing what you have been living. I am very inspired and I’ve been with my partner for 25 years… and I came at the relationship with all the ‘first side’ emotions that you described. Over the years, especially since Universal Medicine and seeing and remembering what it is to be love with myself and others, I’ve slowly unpicked the emotional and needy ties in relationships.

32. When we drop the pictures of what we think a relationship should be, allowing for us to really take responsibility, treat each other with respect and love, if a relationship does end, it can do so with maturity and love.

33. Your description is such a great marker for a relationship.

34. Lovely to read how you have fallen in love with yourself and your experience of true love, ‘ I want to care for myself, eat well, be gentle with myself, speak what I want to say, dress how I want and not let anyone stop or shake this love I have for myself.’

35. This is amazing Ariel, what a joy, ‘‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all’. Love it.

36. It’s healing to read what true love is about, and evolutionary to experience it.

37. Amazing blog Ariel, this is inspiring. I don’t think many people in our society have experienced true love because many of us including myself have fallen for the false version and settling for a lesser version of love thinking it is the real thing. Your blog shows us what true love is very clearly. Thank you Ariel.

38. A testament to true love Ariel. I am in a relationship with a man that I love and yet for the first time ever I do not feel as though I would be devastated if this relationship ended. It’s not that I don’t care about the relationship, in fact it’s quite the opposite, I plan to marry this man… the difference is that I now have a foundation of love within myself that I know will support me through whatever comes my way. This foundation has opened up the possibility of a truly loving relationship.

39. Once you experience the warmth of true love you wonder why so many chose to settle with emotional love.

40. The word love has been so misinterpreted and abused in every way imaginable that most of us do not know the true meaning of the word love let alone live it. Where once upon a time I thought love was the giving of the self I have come to know through my body inspired by Universal Medicine that it can be said that true love is the complete opposite where love is felt in the body first through the loving choices I make towards myself and then I can truly love another and while many may react to this fact I know it to be true. The more love I have for myself the more I can love another.

41. Our current form of ‘love’ is based on images in the mind and not a true sense of potential from the body. The fact that we can ‘love’ and be obsessed with movie stars and or music celebrities without knowing them or having met them, to me, proves this very well.

42. I imagine every young woman in the world would very much appreciate the steadiness of a meeting you describe, particularly to not have the sexual texting and behaviour that many young men seem to think is normal.

43. There is infatuation and then there is love. One will promise to fill you full of all that your inner ‘emptiness’ craves, while the other is an expression of your fullness.

44. As a whole, we as humanity have accepted a lesser version of love as being ‘it’. We’ve given up on the possibility of a real and lived love, inspired by His hand, and held IN God’s hands.
    Yet remember that we are all of Him, and everything changes…

45. Oh the ‘heights’ that we are taught to long for in an intimate relationship… the sudden solving of all of our angst with life, the seeming ‘liberation’ from the dross of existence… And yet the version we’ve been fed of love is indeed all false Ariel.
    Funny that, the more we realise and reawaken to the fact of our own love, that we are essentially love, our relationships come to reflect this. And yes, there IS immense joy to be known when we can truly express and receive love with another – but no ‘height’ to lift us out of our drudgery that is dependent upon another, for our life reflects this love in every angle, a partnership (if we should have one) simply one enriching and treasured factor that confirms what we know within.

46. When I met my wife and experienced a truly love-based relationship for the first time – just for a moment I thought something was missing. And it was. What was missing was all the emotion, the drama, the elation – the high. But what I then realised was that this is in fact good because these things are temporary and give us a false picture of the relationship that will very soon dissolve and leave us with a reality check. The absence of this ‘honeymoon period’, reflected back to us that we were (and are) two people who understand that it is our responsibility to be love ourselves and not be in the relationship to try to fix our self-created emptiness. It is an entirely different, wonderful and very healing basis for relationships.

47. Wow, how awesome. What a truly wonderful lesson to learn in life – it changes everything, every relationship – because in accepting responsibility for being love in relationship there is no seeking love any more and we meet others with a heart full of love rather than the sense that we are empty and needy of love. I have this experience too with my gorgeous wife and for me it is the heart of true relationship – but not just between the two of us, but with everyone.

48. So this means if there is any need for the other to be something we need them to be then we are imposing on them and not in any way offering any true love at all.

49. A love where no need is involved but holding each other in equalness through and through from the knowing of who we are.

50. It is gorgeous to know that that kind of love is possible… and that we deserve it, so we can choose to not ever settle for less.

51. In the ‘old’ days I would be devastated if my boyfriend told me they could live without me, I definitely lived with them making up a part of me and presumed I made up a part of them. So when I worked on filling myself up with love, becoming less needy because I gave myself the love I was looking for from another, I discovered I could, in fact, live perfectly well without this boyfriend. At that point the choice to be in the relationship was so much more true and honouring for both of us.

52. Thank you for this refreshing love story Ariel, if I may use this term and imprint it with the quality of your written words. The love that we get taught in this world is far from the true love that we deserve and deserve to live. We are all worthy of this love and deep down know it and thus crave it. It is a blessing to have young people like you live their life with such integrity and love, an inspiration and role model for us all.

53. It is incredibly liberating to be in a relationship because I choose to and not come from a need because of the fear of being lonely or wanting another to look after and protect me. Attachment is stifling and capping; non-attachment is expansive and it supports and allows another to grow.

54. To love another and not change ourselves one iota for them, can mean true relationship without compromise.

55. One key ingredient to begin any relationship is self-love.

56. We are all so lucky to have Serge Benhayon reflect the true meaning of Love. Thanks Ariel

57. Having experienced both sides from and towards myself I would say that I have experienced very similar to what you’ve shared Ariel. Emotional love can be sticky and needy whereas True love has no need of the other but is fully open to being with another and celebrating such union. Emotional love easily gets excited and drawn into a never ending array of pictures with fluffy edgings of how the relationship should be but often when attempted can lead to disappointment or it works until eventually it is not enough and breaks down. True Love has no images nor requires them and when the relationship is stepped up through an act of true love I have found that we arrive at the best place possible without even trying, simply trusting how we feel.

    1. Apt description Leigh of emotional love, “…never ending array of pictures with fluffy edgings of how the relationship should be…”, and a constant roller coaster ride of ups and downs, leaving you incredibly drained and exhausted.

58. This is a great confirming blog of what true love is, Ariel. It makes total sense that it makes you feel strong, independent and confident in a very tender and open way.
    The other form of emotional love, that you describe, which I have experienced many times, destabilises you in so many ways and I definitely lost myself in it completely. I felt like chewed up and spat out at the end of it, more desperate, hurt and lost than before. It does not do justice to what true love is and the word should not be misused for it.

59. I might have said this before when I read this blog the first time, but no harm in repeating myself! When I felt the lack of need for my then partner, now husband, I thought perhaps it wasn’t Love I was feeling after all. So strong is the emotional ideal of love that often, when true love comes along we reject it because there are no massive highs or lows. But I now know that with every day that passes, true Love deepens, become richer, more expanded and expressive than before. The emotional roller coaster ride of love is no match for the inextinguishable fire of true Love.

    1. We have so many pictures about what we think love is and how we should be in a relationship which can easily mask what is true. I know I have had doubt in my relationship with my husband on several occasions but as I let go of the ideals, beliefs, investments and pictures my relationship with him grows stronger, deepening our connection to one another.

60. So beautiful to read this again, and truly feel that this is what true love is. Love for ourself in expression, shared with all others equally. All based on the foundation we build for ourselves, by choosing to live lovingly and with deep care.

61. Love is all about responsibility and the choice we make for ourselves to be all of who we are. To care and support ourselves without perfection for which we can continue to deepen our relationships and learn from others. A very inspiring way to be.

62. Amazing Ariel , I am inspired by you very much. A question rocked my whole foundations of needs to the surface: Are we putting any needs before the truth that we feel? I questioned myself this, and I had found: Yes I did and still at times do. But why? I can feel that this comes from a lack of understanding of what is actually there and that at times things can not or will not be the way we wanted. So understanding and so our awareness is key – so that we can love and behold and understand what is truly behind every thing.

63. In choosing to have a loving relationship with ourselves we in turn choose responsibility for all relationships thereafter and that is a true love story worth celebrating. Thank you Ariel.

64. Thank you Ariel for a really beautiful sharing so much wisdom I love this line so simple and so true “There is no one controlling the relationship, the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be.”

65. Your blog is so beautiful and makes so much sense. True love is our birthright.

66. Emotional love can be very sticky and after having experienced someone holding me in true love with no need or attatchment I can feel in my relationship that stickiness and how I can either keep entertaining that and get upset or say no, be honest and express how I feel and as you’ve shared we both end up feeling lighter. It makes me question if this stickiness is in other relationships in my life and where I still keep a status quo rather than allowing each of my relationships to lighten up.

67. I can live love. I can’t live the butterflies in my stomach. Love is something I can build in my body. What I am finding is that the more I feel this in my body, the more I know this with others and especially with my partner. This is so rich. There was a time when I missed the thrill of the new romance and wondered if there was ever that thrill in a long term relationship but now those thoughts do not come. I can feel the emptyness of those thoughts and I feel the awesomeness of the deep loving relationship I have with me and then with my partner. There is no longing for anything else once I know true love.

68. I know the two kinds of love you speak about Ariel, my personal experience confirms the truth you share here. I too could never go back to the emotional one that is so widely sold, modeled and accepted. The love that I am reconnecting to more and more IS me and is the real thing; it is deep, steady and joyful as opposed to the manic depressive, fleeting happiness & insecurity the emotional love always came with.

    Understanding these two choices/kinds of ‘love’ has really shown up my past beliefs that an emotional way of living meant I was really alive and experiencing life… boy oh boy can I see from here how that is an illusion and a hellish way to live… and that all I need to do is to choose self love and open the door to True love in myself and in my, more ‘whole’, life.

    With huge appreciation to Serge Benhayon and his living example of the True Love we can all choose when we are ready.

69. Love is an uncompressed and uncompromised way of being.
    It is a joyous event to learn and grow from another, this is true love. This can be had with anyone

70. This is really beautiful, a relationship without the needs that so often pop up is what is true relationship. Living in connection with ourself, living this deeply and from that share this love, is what it is about.

71. Ariel, I understand how profound this is; the difference between the two kinds of ‘love’ you describe because I too have discovered the steady love inside myself, thanks to Serge Benhayon presenting, living and reminding me what love is.

    My old romantic relationships were riddled with insecurity and a constant, endless drive to please my partner… Now I feel and love myself more and more in all I do; I know “I am enough”; this has made a truly loving, harmonious partnership possible.

    Out in the cold or inside by a warm fire…

72. This is beautiful Ariel and shows that when we have love for ourselves there is no need for others to give anything to us as we are everything already. But to meet in connection from our own love and connect with another on this level that is simply awesome. Thank you.

73. Letting go of ideals to experience what love really feels like is a powerful process, and it would completely change all of humanity. With true love there are no emotional ups and downs and even when “breaking up” the love remains. So, there would be millions of “love” songs, movies and books that no one would be able to relate to anymore! What a beautiful change this would be for all relationships to go from emotional (false) love to living from the (true) love within and sharing this with everyone, thankyou Ariel.

74. “There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves. If this relationship was to end, we both know that this is true love and would further act as a marker to make or create love with others in the world.” Beautiful Ariel. Neediness is a soul-destroyer in relationships.

75. Being able to be solid in a relationship without being at the whim of emotions sounds like a foundation where you can go deeper and really support one another to be all that you are. It is such a rare way of being I feel you are blazing a trail.

76. Living a relationship without needs is the deepest joy to experience with another. Goodbye emotions, hello evolution, what is relationship has never felt more real.

77. True love has zero needs and absolute responsibility, it does not hold back in expressing and it is beholding you and me in each and every moment, boy oh boy, love has never felt so romantic. This definition of what love truly is may not secure me a partner, but for true love to become our normal once again in the world, it is wise and a responsibility to not hold back living what is true.

78. If love can be sweet when we choose to love and cruel when we choose not to love, then is the love we call love really love? When what we think is love is not truly love then how can we ever love? So the responsibility lies in when we do know what love is, it is love that we have to live unreservedly, for this love to be reflected back. For true love is everlasting, gentle and firm, beholding but unattached, unwavering and always present.

79. Beautiful Ariel. I can feel as you deepen your love for each other you are also both deepening your own self-love and bringing more true love to the world.

80. The difference in love. How can we even begin to think that ‘mushy love’ that you describe so well Ariel, is really love and yet we are fed these stories from so young and in the majority of cases only to willing to accept this rollercoaster of emotions as normal. What you describe as the love you are and express in your relationship is based on truth and openness, not needing to change who you are and accepting the other for who they are is a great foundation to begin and keep building your relationship on. Thank-you Ariel, for sharing the way you love, the way of true love.

81. It is amazing what love is there for us when we love ourselves first and express from that love. Relationships change when we take responsibility for our own love. What you have shared is beautiful Ariel.

82. A beautiful description of true love Ariel, which highlights to me that even though I’m not in an intimate relationship at present, that this type of love is not exclusive to being with a partner. Of course the way we express with an intimate partner may be different, but the feeling we can have with any of our connections with others, all have this potential for being a marker of true love.

83. Ariel such wisdom beautifully shared! An inspiration for us all to follow starting with love for ourselves is the only way. Great to learn this lesson in love at any age

84. Ariel, this is a beautiful description of true love. I can imagine It sounds strange that love can be like this, yet once this feeling of loving ones self has been investigated and truly tried, it makes total sense.

85. “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete”. So beautiful. Yesterday the new man in my life said lets have dinner on the beach this Saturday and I said: great, for me it does not matter where we eat as long as you are there. Like your last sentence: this feels so loving, joyful and complete. And let’s not forget fun…

86. Great blog, using your own experience to explain how far away from true love we’re really living in our relationships, summed up for me by the line, ‘There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves’. Most of us are so busy looking for our needs to be met by Mr or Miss Right that we fail to see that the other party is looking for their needs to be met by us too. So suddenly we’re in a negotiated arrangement rather than something based on two people living and sharing from their respective solidity of love for themselves. A far greater, wiser starting point for a long-term relationship, surely.

87. What a life changer to understand love as being something that is a natural quality we are all capable of bringing through to others simply through making the commitment to love ourselves. For some people this may sound fake because it doesn’t have the emotional roller coaster ride attached to it that they associate with their understanding of love. But what you have shown Ariel is that this complexity isn’t needed and is actually damaging – and what’s more, it’s the opposite to a form of love which offers something that is everlasting.

88. I love this phrase, Ariel: “I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all.” And true love doesn’t want or need you to change either. What a beautiful marker for true love. Blessed are the ones who have claimed this for themselves and don’t need to change in order to be loved!

89. Ariel this is beautiful So much wisdom is expressed “There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves…” What you describe is the antithesis of emotional love.

90. “There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves. If this relationship was to end, we both know that this is true love and would further act as a marker to make or create love with others in the world. There is no failure in the relationship for we will always know true love and there will always be love with us.” That’s precious, Ariel, and I wish every person on the planet could say it – eventually.

91. Ariel, what you write about love in true sense is just beautiful.
    Not many people had this experience especially being young.
    I remember it was always expectations and pictures of how it should be. Anything not matching those pictures wasn’t accepted. On the other hand because the ideal was out of reach I would go for physical contact but without expectations.
    Only few years ago after working on my relationship with myself for awhile I met a man with whom I can be myself, without pretending, without wanting anything from him, just being. I knew than that I loved this man before and I will love him forever even though we might not meet ever again.
    It was special.
    Now I would like to have this feeling not only for myself but for every living being. Every moment of my life.

92. When we fall in ‘love’ what is it we are falling for? From my own experience in the past, I have fallen for an image, an illusion, something I made up in my mind as to how it should be, and when the illusion is shattered, so to is the relationship. When the relationship is built with no illusion, there is a basic truth to work from.

93. Ariel a beautiful article, the difference between love when it comes from a need and true love, when we need nothing from that person to make us feel better about ourselves, is staggeringly different. I have experienced both, and I now know that true love comes with a freedom to be myself, and there is honour and humbleness and never the need to out do the other, or take out any frustration. In true love I have found honesty and truth.

94. I am learning that true love is never holding back anything – even something that may be hard for the other person to hear. The more love we have for ourselves the greater the love that we can express with, so even if what we have to express might be hard for another to accept, the love it comes with supports them to hear it, as it then comes with no judgement.

    1. Brilliantly put, Lucy. We have this illusory idea that love brings a constant state of being happy, everything easy, no tension, no issues. But that’s wholly unrealistic. Life isn’t perfect, so no wonder the illusion means we can get disappointed when we’re in a relationship. As you say, love can mean saying some tough and honest truths but saying them lovingly, without judgment. This requires us first to be able to love ourselves unconditionally, so that we’re not seeking something from another or wanting our needs met by anyone outside of ourselves.

95. Just loved reading your beautiful blog again Ariel and feeling the absolute knowing of love within you.

96. Ariel thank you for your beautiful and inspiring blog on love. I too have learned that the beautiful tender steady feeling of relationship with myself is the foundation from which all relationships must be built – I certainly have tried the romantic way, but without my relationship with me it was like building a house on shifting sands, without foundation. And this was true for all my relationships, including my children and family, until I made my relationship with me a loving one.

97. This is a beautiful blog, I am finding that love for someone else just is, as the love for ourself also just is. There is no need for all those acts around it with thousands of thoughts and fantasies. It is just love for ourself first, and then for others.

98. “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete”. What a beautiful testament to true love and thank you for sharing Ariel. In the past I have lost myself in relationships and can now see that this was because I was not able to love myself so was always looking for someone else to complete me. For now I choose to focus on building love for myself and can feel a growing steadiness within which is dissipating my neediness of others.

99. Being able to fully appreciate and love another with no need to change – just the beautiful natural evolvement that comes from that is Love truly.

100. It is a curious thing that feelings we have come to associate with falling in love would actually be more befitting of a developing serious illness. Hence the idea “love-sick” I guess. Well if what we call love makes us sick, then it really is time for us to make a serious review of what we call love. Stat.

     1. Love it Rachel. Language does tell us a lot – heart-ache, besotted, beside myself … the old romantic notion of love is often a very distressing place to dwell, full of highs and lows, doubts and fears, anxiety and relief, comfort and boredom … not the language of harmony by any means.

        1. So much angst and tension, and filled with the uncertainty of whether the same is reciprocated. Goodness me! Two people in such a state coming together, rather like trying to build a solid foundation on quicksand.

        2. So true Rachel and Anne. ‘Love hurts’ is a total bastardisation of True Love. Love is Truth and the truth cannot hurt us, even if we don’t want to hear it.

101. Spoken like a true master. It is great to hear and read this Ariel. What a lovely way to live and be in a relationship.

102. Beautiful Ariel, that what is true love is already within ourself. I can feel how important it is to constantly feel that, as otherwise that emotional love you are talking about kicks in and makes relationships only about the need for love we chose to let go in the first place. Crazy actually when I am thinking about it, it is much more beautiful to share that what we have in common, this innate love, than to both search for it in each other.

     1. Yes Benkt, looking for love in each other rather than celebrating & sharing the innate love we both are, how did we ever loose connection with this knowing.

103. Ariel your wisdom is a joy, thank you for sharing. I am in my early 40’s and did not grow up with an understanding or experience of self-care or self-love such as you have re-connected to. Hence my experience of love as you have aptly described was based on a lesser version. Your story has consolidated something within me that I have yet to experience but I will certainly know it when it happens. Thank you.

104. Thank You Ariel for sharing this with us. It is exactly what I feel, too. I always gave my power away and now I am there where I say – that exactly what you describe at the beginning this is it and that’s where I chose to be with me now – “My body feels great. There are no butterflies in my tummy nor do I have the shakes or the constant thoughts or fantasies running through my head. My head is clear and I feel strong within myself. I’m in complete control” and that’s what I am working on with myself and all the realtionships around me this beautiful sentence:”There is no one controlling the relationship, the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be” to bring me to this steadyness that I feel in your expression. Very inspiring. With love Nadine

105. In my 60’s now, I have just learnt and had affirmed, so much from the wisdom of your words here in this blog Ariel.
     “There is no one controlling the relationship, the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be.”
     What could it be like for teens if articles such as this were printed in their magazines or the principles lived out in tv programmes and movies. A steady consistency of love which builds and expands within each partner rather than the drama control brings, leading to the up and down of ‘love’ then hurt we see and experience too often. Young ones (of every age- how can you age when you are love) loving themselves first and foremost, making choices that support themselves first.
     There would be no need for ‘Agony Aunts’ columns for a start!

     1. Hear hear Jeanette. More voices like Ariels for teens to relate to would be amazing. More elders sharing their understanding of true love. More of us living the love we are and not seeking from others. More joy, less drama. Ariel’s voice is a song from heaven.

106. Wow Ariel. I want to share this with every young person I meet! Because no one else is reflecting what you say – society presents it is all about seeking love from the outside and changing how we feel to fit in and feel accepted. This feels desperate. How you have described this: “I don’t feel like he is the missing part of me because I am full of love for myself.” is so revolutionary. Two people full of love for themselves with no need, coming together to expand their love to a greater love. Just awesome. Thank you so very much.

107. Yes true love is so different from what I thought was love in my teenager years. As you say Ariel “When I was younger I would have ‘a crush’ on a boy and feel these sorts of things. I would always use the word ‘Love’ to describe it and that’s how everyone else seems to describe it.” It is all over and around us what love is, but now I know this is and never was true love. My experience is that true love is just there. This was the feeling I had when I connected and started a relationship with my boyfriend, there was nothing that needed to be created, the love that I felt with him was there from day one. No sexual thing, no needy thing just a deep feeling of connection and joy. This was so amazing to feel as I never thought love could be so simple, yet it is!

     1. I concur Lieke. True Love is far far grander to feel in my body than the mushy needy form of love which is actually not love at all because it is extremely imposing and disempowering. I am in an amazing relationship and it feels more than gorgeous to celebrate our love together each and every day. Choosing to be together is not always perfect but is absolutely grand because of the commitment to holding each other in total love, care and respect. It never runs dry like the other form of love does!

108. Beautiful Shirley-Ann, what I really love about what you have said is that since you have been letting go of the needs, your love has actually grown stronger… Your walking what i’m talking!!

109. The modern concept of love has been injected with so much emotion and romanticised to such an extreme that people think they have to feel giddy, mushy and be on a high to feel it. This concept of love feels really fake to me. For me love is an expression and expansion that makes me feel wise, clear, and committed to myself and all others equally, committed to life full stop. Instead of being on a high it empowers you with a sense of self worth, a feeling that at the same time is both gentle and strong, a feeling that basically gives you the foundation to continue to build more love upon and thus evolve upon.

110. Ariel, the way you describe your relationship shows so much freedom … freedom to be yourself rather than be suffocated by another or by the ideals we have. I particularly liked “There is no one controlling the relationship, the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be.” I actually feel this is rare in relationships in the world, but I am starting to live this and understand it for myself.

     1. it’s so true Maree.. this kind of relationship is very rare. It’s not often that I get to hear about these kinds of relationships in everyday life. It’s really something beautiful and very freeing when you can just be yourself. Of course there isn’t perfection but there is always understanding and the willingness to work on the issues that do come up, that’s what all relationships need, in my opinion.

111. Thank you for presenting such beautiful and clear differentiation of two versions of love. This is an amazing exposé. We have been sold so many lies about ‘love’, the reality is that many of us don’t recognise it as something we already have.

112. Amazing Ariel! Thank you for sharing this. The wisdom coming through you is truly remarkable. So much to teach us, the older lot, about what love really is. I’ve never been satisfied with statements like ‘you complete me’ or ‘you are my other half’, etc. It’s never felt right that we are given the impression we are not enough as we are. And you’ve expressed this beautifully. Thank you.

     1. Thank you Elodie, what a beautiful comment. I am so glad that I am able to teach from the experience that I have had and I am honoured that I have people that are truly listening.

113. Ariel, this is inspiring. I found myself wondering for fun…but where is the drama? What problems do you take to your friends? And all the other relationship dramas paraded themselves in front of me….showing what has been considered normal in the past and such a waste of time when I considered how each moment I could build a deeper relationship with myself and another, rather than numbing or distracting myself with drama.
     This is an awesome foundation for relationships.

     1. hahah it’s a great point Amanda… where is the drama in this?? I can remember clearly this relationship and there wasn’t drama through it… the only drama that ever occurred was when I decided I didn’t want to be in it because I couldn’t handle how loving it was… I couldn’t see how I deserved a relationship that was so loving and did not need to have issues. So I made it emotional, created a drama and actually felt more comfortable in that… how crazy is that!

     2. Thats right Amanda, what Ariel has described is an awesome foundation for all relationships

114. Beautiful Ariel. Many people would see not needing the other person as not love. But your right it’s the opposite. When you can live without them but choose to be with them all the time – now that is something to cry love about.

     1. Absolutely agree Emily… when you sit with it, it actually makes so much sense.. you don’t need someone but choose to be with them because you love them, but you yourself are complete and will continue living in full love for yourself as a foundation.

115. It is awesome to hear your experiences of ‘mushy emotional love’ and ‘true love’, Ariel – I know which one I would choose.

     1. Well said Carmin for emotions cloud everything while true love allows the sun to shine and provides much clarity.

116. I’m reminded in particular of that phrase.. ‘you complete me’. This refers to the missing part that romantic love thinks can be filled by another person. Problem is that that puts something outside of yourself / the other person in control of your happiness, and so the roller coaster begins. You have exposed it beautifully Ariel.

     1. Thank you Simon, yes it is a total rollercoaster to be on, it wasn’t long ago I felt myself in that rollercoaster again. That phrase you have mentioned is interesting isn’t it… I also heard a song on the radio recently where the women who was singing it said something in her song like when she met him (the guy) she fell so in love, gave herself away to this love for him, now that it’s over (relationship finished) she didn’t know who she was, so she’s had to pick herself up again, find out who she is and carry on. I wonder… can you really love someone when you have lost who you are in the process and need someone to complete you?

     2. That phrase also reminds me of the term “other half” when referring to a partner. Just shows how reduced and partial we make ourselves so that we need “another half” rather than just simply being two of a whole expanding together.

117. Thank you Ariel, for sharing your loving experience. Emotional love is so needy. But true love has no needs and when we share this with someone else, the love between each other is then is multiplied.

118. Very beautiful Ariel. The level of depth you live the love you are is truly inspiring. We are sold this absolute horrible emotional version of love and we have it so in our bones that understanding its falseness can be quite challenging. It felt very solid how you connected to what love truly is and that those ideals are not getting in your way. Very awesome.

     1. Thank you Rachel… your comment gave me goosebumps, I was so touched. I can really understand how this way of thinking, that emotional love is it, is deep in our bones because it is what we have been taught and reflected our entire lives.. even I still get caught up in it because it’s hard to admit that past friendships and relationships were based on emotional love when in fact I do not feel that love as being True Love.

119. Gorgeous Ariel, truly inspiring!

120. Thank you Ariel lovely to read. Emotional love, which is the love most of us have been brought up with, comes from not loving ourselves enough. The difference between emotional love and true love is the sort of thing that should be taught at school.

     1. Hear hear Sally. True Love 101 and Self-Love should be a subject in school, I know I sure would have enjoyed my schooling years if I was actually learning something I could feel in my body and understand in life.

     2. Thank you Sally, I absolutely agree. I would have loved to have been taught the difference while I was in school. Then it wouldn’t be about teachers trying to make sure the kids and teens are being responsible with dating, they could just share the truth about the difference and leave the kids to make their own choice from the clarity of knowing exactly what they are choosing.

     3. I fully agree Sally. I have been consumed by emotional love all through high school and it has left me wrecked and unstable. My life has become so much better once I have been able to get a glimpse of true love and only getting better while it deepens. I know that the marker I have created ensures me to always find my way back again whenever I do get emotionally attached occasionally.

        1. Ilja this felt really amazing to read, dear. I just lived a bit of a rollercoaster this week and this is something I know from the past, which is emotional love – it is also waking up and learning to cope with other’s decision not to be love and challenging to stay with me and stop the pleasing or adapting or being polite instead just truth-full and respect-full – having this now reflected by my partner is truly challenging and letting him go – meaning actually just the emotional attachment – and get back the trust in it that the love in essence is always there and for if he or any other person in human life is going to leave me it is not because of me it is because of their own lack of self-love. For me this is challenging in a practical way, hence means I know there is a deepening for my own self-love and acceptance and being with me asked. I felt this week how much I expect from myself and how fragile and vulnerable I am and to show it and speak up is a huge step for me (accepting my imperfections). There is an ongoing feeling of deep hurt in my heart area and pressure as well as then a truly lovely warm feeling, like burning from the inside – I know the first one are the scars from holding back and investing in emotional love and the latter is true love – so as You write it is great to have these markers.

121. “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete”. What a beautiful statement. This counters the love songs and romantic novels where love is built on need and the measure of love is how much people need each other and how much they cannot live without each other. An unnatural co-dependence is often the result of such societal influence.

     1. I agree Elaine, this statement itself gives us lots to consider about our own self worth and our own need to be needed and how we can put that before true love.

122. thank you delineating so clearly the two approaches of love and in particular the beauty and glory of True Love.

123. Ariel so inspiring and a powerful testament to true love.

124. What struck me after reading this beautiful account of how you’ve claimed true love in your life, Ariel, is just how living with that fullness of self-love is so much more balanced and less stressful, rather than having your happiness based on the whims of how other people treat you or what they do for you. It’s as if you let go of any neediness from others, but rather you enjoy sharing the same love you have built for yourself with others.

     1. Absolutely Michaelgoodhart36 that is so well said. It’s like living on a rollercoaster when living by the actions and words of someone else in order to feel good. It’s the ultimate game that people are playing today and there aren’t many that have the love in themselves first so they can remain steady, joyful and in love deeply with themselves and then they can love others.

125. Written so beautifully Ariel. I love your expression and freedom with how you have conveyed the two kinds of love and the impact each has. Our relationship with ourselves is our first true love and finding another with the same quality is magical.

126. Thank you Ariel for sharing so openly your experiences of love. You have reflected beautifully what ‘true love’ is and how empowering it is to connect to our love within first, our truest love. And from this connection the joy that is naturally there in expressing and sharing this love with another.

127. Ariel this blog is so beautifully expressed and the difference between “Romantic” Love and True Love is like chalk and cheese. We can all get swept up in the imagined Love with all its airy fairy romantic blissful emotion, but it is another thing to be truly Love and Love self first before another or others.

     1. Thank you Roslyn and I love how you said it is like chalk and cheese… the difference is extraordinary – the loving expression, care and playful gestures may look the same but the quality they come from is superb because the love is first within each person fully and the relationships love is an extension of that.

128. Very Beautiful Blog, this is so important to be shared. I can feel the enormous joy in the relationship you share about, there is no need to be with each other, but there is a deep connection in the love that you have for yourself as well as each other.

129. Ariel, I love this blog you have written here. What a powerful sharing, for us all to have here, expressing what Love in truth actually is. You are a shining light, thanks to the amazing foundation and love you are connecting to and give to yourself and from there you share with everyone. You are beautiful love in expression.

130. I remember falling in love and being totally sick about it and worried that I would do something wrong – how can this be good for you.
     These days I look at love in a whole new way without all of the emotional ups and downs and rights and wrongs – it’s definitely a lot healthier.

     1. Well put Julie… I can relate to those feelings and it’s a good question… how can that be any good for us? That love-sick feeling and you don’t think you need support because we cover it by the words of “I’m in love” but what if those type of needy, concerned, anxious and nervous feelings were no good for us? and actually making us sick? Are we then to say the stereotypical version of love is actually no good for us, and also making us sick? It’s definitely time to be honest about what True Love really is because I don’t feel like true love would make us sick.

131. Wow, the amount of LOVE in all of these comments is so beautiful and confirming to read. I am returning to this blog myself going wow, this girl really knows what she is talking about!
     I am no longer in that relationship that I was in while I wrote this blog but as I did say in the blog that I am never going back to a lesser form of love, I have a set marker.
     I still have deep love for this young man and our friendship is strong and true. I am in a relationship with another young man and this has been taken to a whole new level of love that I am yet to write about 😉
     Thank you everyone and, I really must say, Ariel, I LOVE this blog.

132. Beautiful to feel the love you have for yourself Ariel and how much more confident this love is than the other kind of ‘crushes’, that can, well, so often leave one totally crushed once the romance is over. Here is to True Love, eternally.

133. Your blog left me very still Ariel as what you share is so true and yet so profound. You show that wisdom has no age requirements and that your livingness is the proof of what true love is and what it is not. Very beautiful to be a witness to and very inspiring thank you.

134. Very beautiful Ariel, thank you for sharing. True love can only rise out of self love and a true connection, leaving ideals and expectations behind. Very true.

135. How divine to hear of two young people so committed to what true love is and sharing that with the world. You are an inspiration for anyone who has settled for less. Within your words they can feel what is truly possible. Simply beautiful.

136. Very beautiful blog Ariel, the only true love is the love within ourself, and as you write it is great to share this with others.

137. Ariel you an inspirational young woman that many would aspire to be. The way you describe the love you have with your partner is the role modeling of a true relationship, which is only possible if you have that with yourself. Thank you so much for sharing this.

138. Ariel your depth of understanding of true love is truly magnificent. The difference that really stood out for me when reading your article between romantic love and true love is that true love is already complete.

139. Thank you Ariel! As you say, the first type of love hurts you all the time, even when there are no breakups and broken hearts. What you shared about you is simply beautiful.

     1. That’s so beautifully and simply put Emfelman. It’s very true… I can totally relate. I’ve been in relationships in the past where you wouldn’t think there was anything wrong with them and/or any reason to feel hurt from the perspective of a ‘normal’ relationship and I was hurt the entire time. All of my emotions I went into were not who I was or who I felt myself to be, but what I thought I had to go into in order to be in the relationship.

140. Thank you for sharing your personal experience of love Ariel. It is helpful to have such a practical reference point when discerning the feelings and emotions we deal with when it comes to intimate relationships.

141. Ariel this is beautiful and written in such authority and love for all. I appreciate all you have shared here as it provides a clear distinction between what we “think” is love and what “true love” actually is. Just exquisite.

     1. Thank you Jade… I appreciate your comment. It was beautiful to write because I was appreciating the love that I have for someone but also loving everyone at the same time by sharing it. 🙂

142. Thank you Ariel, I loved your blog (definitely not the mushy type haha), the sweetness of you and your expression comes through.

143. I remember in my youth (and not so youth) having really intense crushes on men, in an obsessive way. It felt awful, needy, seeking, overwhelming etc. This is often talked about as “you are in love”, but really it feels so awful – how could it be love? What you have shared Ariel is not only delightful but so powerful in terms of a young couple and the fact that you need nothing from each other and that your lives are so much more together. I feel very inspired by the wisdom with which you share. Thank you Ariel.

     1. Thank you for sharing your experience Jennifer. what you have described really is the norm and it’s quite sad, because your right, it does feel terrible… I would ask the same question of how can that really be love? We think Love is something that is destined to hurt us and love is what will complete us.. all of these idea’s about what love is when maybe we’re being sold a lie from every angle? Maybe the word love has been totally MISUSED!

144. A beautiful stating and understanding of love. Thank you Ariel.

145. Thanks Ariel! What an inspiration you are to all around you! To me, you reflect living with grace and harmony first, which is then naturally shared out with others.

146. It feels like you are leading the way with this blog, showing us how delightful and simple genuine relationships can be.

147. Ariel, beautifully expressed and claimed — this blog is an amazing marker of true love in relationships.

148. Thank you Ariel, I feel deeply touched by the love in your writing and the simplicity of the way you describe how you express love. It feels very founded, connected and steady (still). As opposed to the ‘other type of love’, which feels like an imposing emotional energy that we allow to sweep us up and take us for a roller-coaster ride.

149. Wow, what a powerful blog, thank you Ariel. You have inspired me deeply and I take your words into my day/week/life.

150. You demonstrate that love, truth and maturity are not a matter of age but choice and willingness to be oneself with self and others. That is extraordinary although ordinary and simple compared to the standards of society and an amazing and much needed reflection and role model that inspires the way forward – not only to those of your own age but all ages.

     1. Good comment Alex – inspiration and wisdom can be ageless, teaching us all a grown up version of love that will hold fire throughout our life.

        1. Thank you both Alex and Simone for your amazing comments. I am very touched and humbled. It’s a great point Alex that it is extraordinary however it’s ordinary and very simple. It all starts with a choice (doesn’t matter the age) to not follow the trends and pressures of the media and society and live life in a more loving way and it’s so ordinary.

151. Ariel, I love how your article clearly describes the difference between true love and the fake one.

152. The truth you have shared here is very powerful Ariel. I am discovering that the mushy untrue love can show in my relationships with friends and family as well as in relationships with a partner or potential partner. Whenever there is need in a relationship it gets in the way of true love. This is so lovely to be reminded of. Thank you.

     1. ‘Whenever there is need in a relationship it gets in the way of true love.’ So true Leonne and something I have been recognising recently.

        1. I have been seeing this very clearly lately Helen. In fact I have realised that I have confused falling in love with falling in need. This has been extremely confronting to feel but has also made way for true love in my life. I am eternally grateful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting the truth about love.

153. How beautiful Ariel. The kind of love you express is everlasting.

154. Today I realised what your blog truly inspired in me is to love myself completely and not let anyone or anything shake that. Thank you Ariel.

     1. Great point Liekevanhaastrecht, that’s such a strong statement; and it’s just a decision we can choose to make: to love ourselves so deeply that nothing or nobody can shake that. That’s true power.

     2. Thank you Lieke for sharing what this blog has inspired in you. I am really touched that I was able to write this to inspire people.

155. Absolutely true Ariel, I have also tried both types of love (‘romantic twilight’ and true love) and feel the same as you do. I am in Love with myself and with an amazing young man and it just is so great. There are no ‘have to be a certain way’ or ‘have to do certain things’, the love is just there and to explored every day even more. It is so much joy and fun to live this way.

     1. I can fully relate to what you share here Lieke. No emotion or need, but there to deepen and evolve, to lift each other up and learn how much more you can both be in the world. Never holding back from being Joyfull and Playfull. Such a gift for you both!

156. What an absolutely beautiful story about true love. Very, very inspirational. What certainly stood out for me was this: “There is no attachment or need in this relationship because we both have so much love for ourselves.”. All relationships start with the relationship with ourselves. Thank you, Ariel. Love it.

157. Full of love for yourself – beautiful

158. Beautiful article Ariel, thank you for writing this and opening discussions re true love and romantic love, just worlds apart aren’t they? To know that your loving relationship you have with yourself is where it all begins, awesome 🙂

159. ‘I don’t feel like he is the missing part of me because I am full of love for myself, but a person that I deeply care for’. This sentence responded a lot in my body, as it is so true Ariel. This is a great sharing of how you live so that love is your only way. Thank you.

160. Ariel this was such a joy to read and something that should be shared with worldwide. The strength of certainness and steadiness in the writing is profound and the sharing of real true love – inspiring.

     1. Absolutely agree that this should be shared world wide because I know I would have loved to have known the difference when I was growing up as a teenager. There are so many pressures on us all that this is the type of love we are to subscribe to, without having the grace to feel what it could be like if it’s different and truly real.

161. Wow Ariel, thank you for explaining the huge difference between true love (everlasting) and romantic love (based on Fantasy).
     The love you have for yourself is such a solid foundation nobody can shake it, or pull you out of it.

162. This is written with such heartfelt conviction Ariel. When you say “there is no going back for me” there is no doubt that you mean it, totally. It was awesome how you drew our attention to the actual words that we use. The term “crush” stood out to me. So often it seems that we end up getting crushed by emotions – quite literally. To me there was a beautiful link between the control you describe in yourself, and how it seems you no longer needed to control the relationship you’re in. This feels lovely.

     1. Thank you Joseph, it’s so true, there really is no going back. Once you have experienced one level of love it’s a so very difficult to try and accept any less…. because you know there is so much more!

163. Thank you for holding a cell of true Love for us all.

164. What an inspiring blog this is, Ariel.
     “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete” – that is exactly what true love is about.
     I’ve heard it presented that love can sometimes let you fall flat on your face – lovingly so, and for me holding each other in love in each and every moment, but not creating ‘comfort’, sometimes brings up seemingly difficult moments – but these can offer the biggest invitation to learn and evolve if you choose that.
     I never could have dreamed how wonderful and inspiring a partnership based on true love can be.

165. It is wonderful to revisit this blog and feel the freedom of a young woman not being hooked into the romantic ideals of love, but rather presenting clearly and from personal experience what true love is.

     1. Thank you Janet, I appreciate that. It really is a pleasure for me to be able to write so honestly and not get caught up in the trends of what everyone else is doing. Thank you for listening and thank you for commenting.

166. Ariel Thank you for sharing your experience of romantic love versus true love. Super inspiring as many of us have fallen for looking for others to bring us love.

167. I enjoyed your article Ariel and how you turn our idea of love on its head, something that supports us all. How amazing to let go of the need and demands of a partner.

168. Beautiful Ariel, what a huge difference there is between the romantic ideal and the real thing. I love the way you clearly define the weak at the knees emotional mush state we so inaccurately call love and the true love, the love that leaves one complete and whole and feeling more than enough. Serge Benhayon is a master of true Love, always holding a rich love for himself and for everyone else at the same time. Like you say at the end of your article, true love is not about curling up and dying if you split up, it’s about enriching one another’s lives while honouring and allowing us to be completely ourselves. Thank you for such an inspiring post.

169. I ‘loved’ this : ) Great to clarify what love truly is. As you say “It’s seen this way on movies, the internet, Facebook, YouTube, within people’s families and with peers etc” … the ‘emotional’ false love. We are brought up that love is on the outside of us, love is something we have to ‘seek’, that if we do not have a partner there must be something wrong with us. We are not taught the truth, that Love is within us ALL equally so, that love never left us and that love does not have one once of emotion in it.

     I really loved the fact that when you first spoke of true love it was the love you had for yourself and not another; and when you spoke of your partner how you kept that love for yourself .. he wasn’t the missing part of you (because there is no part of you missing : )

     Your relationship with yourself and your partner and how you are with each other is very inspiring.

     1. A great reminder to always make it about the Love I am and hold for myself first as I can feel how I’ve given myself away in the past as this has been coming up recently to look at, to be aware and learn to choose differently. I am a work in progress deepening with my own love affair and always bringing it back to me – the Love I am and hold.

        1. Yes, being in a loving relationship with ourselves seems to be a good place to start if you want to go into a relationship… without that.. relationships have all kinds of issues because really, no one can complete you, we have to complete ourselves to actually feel whole and complete. It really is time to have that love affair with ourselves 😉

170. “The real, true Love, the love that does not leave you damaged, emotional or changed.” That is so beautifully expressed, and the measure of whether it is true love or emotional love, and something no one can argue with. Emotions come and go, we can feel the passing of them through our bodies, and they are shallower than deeper feelings, in fact they are a protection against them. Underneath all is the consistent and unchanging Love that is always there if we choose to connect with it.

171. So, true love is not only possible but a living, breathing reality?! Awesome to read how simple it is, too. Just honesty and a commitment to being your own love with another’s …… no more neediness or judgements based on romantic mush and its idealistic and manipulative beliefs around what we should be in order to ‘get’ love. What a beautiful evolution for us all to be inspired by, Ariel. Thank you.

172. To know what love is with such clarity and understanding Ariel is really empowering. Until I came to Universal Medicine I had no real understanding of what true love was, and I am still learning every day. Knowing that I can be love by just being me without any neediness or expectation has been a revelation and has changed the relationships I have with everyone, my family, my friends, colleagues at work, there are no longer the complications, everything is simple and straight forward.

173. “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but boy oh boy with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete.” Yes, this is love – a far cry from what is impressed upon us by art and society. Go girl!

174. “I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all.”
     From experience my true love feels steady and assured, I know what to do and say. The other form of love feels frantic and will not stop at trying every angle to get love. It’s like constantly throwing darts at a dartboard (frantically non-stop) in the hope that one of them may strike the middle OR pause, become steady and aim. Thank you for the reminder to just stop and feel that what I actually want, true love, is very simple and already with me.

175. Gorgeous blog Ariel. Funnily enough I have just been clearing out 15 years worth of “love letters” from my younger years (when people still sent letters!) and the reason I held onto them for so long was because I couldn’t let go; the pain of splitting up was just too much for me to handle – I was as you say “heart broken”. Universal Medicine has supported me to develop a much more true understanding on what Love actually is, and reading back over these letters, what was experienced with the “love of my life” was not about Love, in fact it was far from it. My current partner and I have chosen to re-develop our relationship with honesty, as we discovered we had been communicating from and had built our relationship based on neediness. We can both now see this clearly – and this gives us both the opportunity to avoid having an emotion-filled drama; we are talking so openly to one another and learning so much about ourselves and each other in the process, that the love you are talking about is really beginning to shine through as we honour ourselves and give ourselves the Love and understanding we deserve and always have done. There is truly a difference between True Love, and love. Thank you.

176. Thank you Ariel for this beautiful sharing. You bring and absoluteness and clarity about what Love truly is and how when we live it with ourselves in truth it can’t be any lesser with another. I’ve recently been exposing patterns of abandoning and making myself lesser within relationships to fit in. Your blog feels very supportive to claim the truth I’ve come to also – confirming it and inspiring me to take it deeper and claim it in full. Thank you for all you bring with your expression.

177. So beautiful to read your expression of ‘love’ made with such clarity…..and love. it was a joy to read. I lived much of my life only knowing the emotional love, which never sustained – it was a brief lift followed by a lot of heartache and hurt. True love is sustaining and has built a foundation of truth in my life where I can be free from the emotion, and with that there comes a new depth and power in my relationships.

178. This is lovely how you share the difference between emotional love and true love. Emotional love for me was unfulfilling, it had a neediness to it, whereas true love needs nothing, there is a fullness with the stillness, harmony and joy. It is a beholding energy and includes everyone.

     1. Beautifully expressed Lorraine, in its simplicity.

179. Great blog, Ariel! I agree with your realizations: we have been fed and are still being fed lies about what love actually is. The version that keeps us searching outside of ourselves and leaves us needy has been my compass for quite some time. It is a beautiful experience to feel the difference in my recently starting dating: I went for a walk with a man I had dinner with a couple of days before and realized I was full of love without him needing to confirm that to me. And when one of my friends asked a couple of days later whether I was ‘in love’? I said, speaking while feeling my whole body, I am deeply in love with myself. I am super grateful for what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have made me aware of! Just like you described:
     ‘This Love is something that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have been presenting since the beginning; it is something undeniably strong and solid leaving one another full of love, with no attachment of it ever fading away. We know love is first within us and then expressed to each other.’

180. What a beautiful way to look at love – free of emotion or drama or heartbreak.
     Yet from a little girl watching cartoons – I already thought love was found through another.
     That’s how so many of us see love. A holy grail, a fight, and then a euphoric triumph.

     I used to think a man completed me, but now I understand that a man compliments me – and that I am all I need to be already.
     That is true love for me now.

181. I love where you have arrived at in your understanding and experience of true love, how well you have described it, and how clear you have made it that it is totally opposite from the common concept of love, or falling in love with another, which can be uncomfortable, often chaotic, dramatic and over emotional, and is really not a true in-depth relationship; for if it is needy, then both partners give their power away to the other. How beautiful is a relationship of true love, thank you for showing us that.

182. Great points to ponder upon about the differences between the two perspectives of love. It is so refreshing to have to read about true love which you beautifully describe.

183. How refreshing to read this blog and your experience of true love as opposed to the ‘mushy love’ we are taught is love. How different they both are – worlds apart. thanks for sharing.

184. Ariel, I loved reading your blog about true love. Thank you.

185. Wow, Ariel, this is an amazing presentation of true love because it clearly comes from your direct experience. People of all ages can learn a lot from reading this – thank you for sharing your joy in finding true love within yourself, so that it can be shared with others.

186. Really beautiful clarity, thank you Ariel.

187. When taking a good look at Eva’s article, is there anyone it would not strike as absurd how far from the truth our world’s definition of Love is, when love is a concept which is so essential and so foundational to us all as human beings…?

     It is clear when looking around that we have lost sight of who we really are. If we were connected to our inner way/our Loving heart, we could never create, allow or perpetuate the seperateness, inequities and suffering that plague our world.

     Many question the status quo and the more we see people living with True Love, the more we realize “it can be done”. We can choose to move in the direction of true love.

     We can’t wait for someone else to come and say “I love you”, because true love starts by loving thyself.

188. Awesome blog and amazing wisdom. It explains why so many people get caught and even addicted to the roller coaster of the emotional ‘high’ or honeymoon phase followed by the drama and trauma of the break-up. Could it be because they do not love themselves deeply enough and are looking outside of them for someone to give them what they lack? I know I was caught in this cycle for much of my teens and early twenties and so this blog is so valuable and precious that every young person should read it.

     1. Yes Andrew, I wish every young person had a laminated copy of this article. An antidote to the ’emotional love’ that abounds. Imagine growing up with a reminder like this in hand? -When we come across the real thing we can feel the Truth of it.

     2. Yes Andrew I know what you mean about the roller coaster, and I too feel this is such a precious article to be shared with all.

189. Wow what an inspiring blog Ariel. Thank you.

190. Wow – I love this blog. I love how you say ‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all. I don’t feel like he is the missing part of me because I am full of love for myself’ – this could literally apply to any relationship we have, how beautiful to remain true to yourself and to know that this love is first in you.

     1. I love this too Meg, ‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all.’ What a great way to be in a relationship compared to the trying and the wanting the other person to like you etc… and yes agreed this could apply to any relationship.

        1. I agree, there is so much more freedom in just presenting you, and not trying in any way to be something for someone else. The latter is an exhausting game that needs to be continued infinitely. So much simpler just to be honest and true to yourself and to build a relationship based on that.

191. I love that you refer to it as ‘Twilight’ love, just watching/ reading about those characters in that story was painful, frustrating and emotional. It is refreshing to hear about a balanced, honest relationship with no games. Thank you for sharing.

192. Ariel. Wonderful description on what love is all about. Love is all about sharing with others, your partner, family, friends. Without love, what have we got to show without it?

193. Thank you, Ariel for sharing and offering the opportunity to consider another way of loving another. It is inspiring to read and feel the simplicity in true Love with another. I love what is written at the end: “It’s not like I need you, I could live without you but, boy oh boy, with you everything is so much more Loving, Joyous and complete.”

194. This is absolute gold.
     Anyone wanting to get more clarity on their relationship; on what-the-devil love is,
     might consider what Ariel describes here in this post (and the comments too).

     1. Absolutely Jo, and just want to say again, these comments are amazing! I love reading what everyone has to share and express.

195. I love what you have shared Ariel – it really is beautifull.
     I was always in fantasy land, the feeling of emptiness never left and for me it was like I got hooked with all the ideals about what love was; and it sums it up in your definitions about Love from the reliable source of Google our modern day dictionary.
     My stuff was the ‘need’ – I had absolutely no love for myself and so I demanded it from my family and my partner. Well how could they not when they too were searching and seeking the same love I was craving.
     Thanks to the life and work of Serge Benhayon, I know what true Love is and that it is what I am made of and it makes sense. Today I can honestly say that my husband of 28 years is the bonus in my life. I choose to be with him but I do not need him. Why? simple, because I can meet my own needs and he is the same so we don’t need to fill any void. What we have is a real relationship which has a true foundation of what I know is true Love. I could not want for more and never have a need to seek for anything more out there. It feels complete.

     1. I love what you share, Bina, and the inspiration you and Ariel offer for what a true loving relationship can be for anyone.

     2. This is absolutely gorgeous Bina. I know this is true love and feel it myself. To love without need is truly freeing.

196. Wow Ariel, this is so gorgeous to read, ‘I have discovered True Love for someone where I don’t change myself at all. I don’t feel like he is the missing part of me because I am full of love for myself’, absolutely beautiful, what a difference to the emotional version of love that can feel so painful and ‘heartbreaking’.

197. Congratulations Ariel, it sounds to me as if you have truly found love!

198. I love how you explain that true love is not the emotional roller coaster the other ‘true love’ has been dressed up to be. This love is within us and while we don’t need another person to complete us, we can enjoy another perso’ns company. One person in true love + another in true love = more love to feel. Simple.

199. Wow, I agree with everything you said Ariel. Great post.

200. I wanted to re read this one again, often different parts speak to you at different times. Today “the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be” was what rung out. This is something I am learning to feel and appreciate. With complete honesty comes a surrender, which allows everything to unfold as and when it needs to be. Even a minute diversion from the whole truth puts a stranglehold on everyone and steers situations and people into places where truth and love are not the main ingredients. A recipe for disaster!

     1. I loved reading this blog again, Ariel. And Jenny, I too felt that the phrase “the level of honesty we have guides us to where we need to be” really spoke to me this time.

        I’m learning that the more I choose to let my partner in, the more he also makes the same choice and then it builds on itself the next time. It starts with simply saying with honesty how I feel or what’s going on and taking responsibility for those feelings.

        1. I agree Julie with you and Ariel, that the level of honesty guides us to where we need to be and it opens the door for deeper honesty which will eventually get us to Truth. I learnt from Serge Benhayon a long time ago that we need to start being honest with ourselves and others so we can get to the Truth.
           Honesty allows us to remove all the lies we have in our life one by one, step by step.

201. Love is that simple, that honest and that true.
     A great sharing, share it again, everywhere…

202. Beauty-full Ariel, an awesome way to illustrate the difference between what we have been conditioned into thinking is Love, and to come to feel and know true Love, from a full and needless place. As you so eloquently say, True Love builds more true love. Your post is a real blessing for us all, thank you.

203. I adore your post, Ariel. Said from the heart, straight into my heart. From a very early age we are taught that love is indeed felt as highs and lows. If you don’t feel all that ‘mushy’ stuff, then you’re not in love. But deep down we all know that the mushiness doesn’t last, and indeed leaves you feeling on edge, vulnerable (in a ‘giving your power away’ way), out of control and downright depressed. The love you have found for yourself has none of that, and it is pure. If there’s a post that needs to go viral, this is it!

     1. wow thank you Suzanne and it’s absolutely true what you have said about us being taught that love is in highs and lows. We are constantly trying to find those high moments in our lives rather then learning to live consistently joyful or even content with ourselves so that regardless of if there is high moments, you are not in need for them. they are just a bonus to your already amazing life full of love.

204. This is a beautiful reflection. Thank you for sharing.

205. Such beautiful true words! You have to smile when you read this, like so much said and so simple, this is so awesome to read and even just sit with. So thank Ariel, we can all learn from this. 🙂

     1. Thank you so much Kris for sharing your appreciation. I am really touched knowing that all can learn from this. It’s confirming of the love I felt and the ultimate difference. Just being aware of this does also make me smile… ear to ear.

206. Thank you Ariel, a beautiful read and I love how you write.

207. I absolutely love this Ariel. Thank you! Your words “We know love is first within us and then expressed to each other” are so amazingly and truthfully expressed. Doesn’t get any simpler than that. 🙂

208. Awesome blog Ariel – an absolute inspiration.

209. That’s awesome Ariel. It was amazing reading it!!

210. This is so lovely Ariel, thank you for sharing your clarity.

     1. What a lovely blog. I am 70, and there is not a ‘significant other’, but when there was, I got to a point where I stopped trying to change him, and instead worked with him to create a team where each of us could be ourselves. And when he died, I let him go, knowing that our time together was without regret. Now with my children, there is no neediness, just joy in the times we spend together, and it is the same with my friends. This love is so great, I never want to be in that roller coaster of emotion I experienced as a young woman again.

        1. Catherine this is beautiful – compared to the roller coaster of emotion years ago, the solid stable foundation, freedom and joy in your relationships is awesome. I loved your sharing about how there was a point where “I stopped trying to change him, and instead worked with him to create a team where each of us could be ourselves” That is a great foundation for any relationship.

211. This is so lovely to feel a young women and man already discovering and claiming what true love is between two people. Not only are they claiming they know and felt what it is, but they have actually created it and committed to it for themselves and each other and to reflect and share with others to also feel and experience what true love is. So in a sense everyone can benefit from this relationship. Many people live their whole life without experiencing true love in a relationship, so how joyful to see when it is there! Could it be possible that many people never experience this because they haven’t chosen love for themselves first – to express and live in such a way with themselves first, and then another? Thank you both for choosing and creating this and sharing and discussing it with us to also feel we can choose the same.

212. Ariel it is lovely that you have been able to experience two very different relationships, I love how honest you are in your new real-ationship, and it is great that you feel so at ease with yourself and him.

213. Wow, Ariel, this is inspiring…

214. I love hearing your personal experience of what a loving relationship can be like, it gives me an opportunity to feel into my relationships and see them for what they are. Thank you for sharing so openly.

215. Thank you for sharing your love and wisdom in this blog, Ariel. You have so clearly explained the mammoth difference there is between love – as it is described by most people – the knee trembling ‘mushy’ kind of love – the love they say makes you blind to a person’s faults – erk! and then the love you are experiencing – a depth of love that is so true it enriches your days and never takes you away from yourself or leaves you less or so needing of their company or approval.

     This is a great way to check the quality you have in every relationship you have in your life (not just with your significant other) – to check whether you are remaining true to yourself or if you are playing the role you or the people you are with expect you to play.

     1. I loved this blog and what you have said Judy, about it being a great way to check the quality you have in every relationship – not just with your significant other – but to check whether you are remaining true to yourself or if you are playing the role you or the people you are with expect you to play. It would be great to share this in schools so that young people can remain true to themselves and experience true love, not the mushy kind, full of emotional turmoil, that some think is love.

        1. I would love to share this in schools. Maybe one day these kinds of sharings and other blogs on this site will be part of the curriculum. that would be cool!

216. Thank you, wonderful explanation of what true love is. It’s amazing how the other romantic love is so unfulfilling once we re-experience the fullness of true love with its stillness, harmony and joy. I know when I am truly in love, I need no one!

     1. So true Felicity… once you have experienced true love, emotional love just does not make the cut… not even close to the joy felt when you are full of love yourself first! I am definitely still on my ‘Learners (L) Plates’ learning this.

217. Thank you for sharing this Ariel. It is great to be able to reflect on the differences of love that you have described. To make sure that I am looking at any need that may be in the relationship I am in, and that I continue to stay true to myself within it.

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