by Greg Hall, Civil Engineer, Brisbane
Particularly inspired by the writings of Oliver Harling in a recent post titled: “Stitched Up“, I sit here reflecting on my days of youth and at primary school being referred to as a ‘Ladies Man’ (named after a popular TV sitcom of the time) – I didn’t mind being teased because I felt that the boys doing the teasing were really just envious of my choice to honour being me. I was friends with the boys at school but really did not like the way it felt to be acting up and playing rough games in the play ground to ‘jostle for hierarchy’ and prove one’s physical capabilities rather than spending time with girls who pretty much accepted me for simply being a gentle me.
By year 8 and the peer pressures of high school, I began to cave in to the pressure to conform. I hated playing rugby, always knew alcohol felt awful and tasted terrible too (chocolate is a far more insidious hook because it fools your taste buds!) and I found that the girls no longer wanted ‘the so-called’ me around (I wasn’t being honest about who I was, and they may also have begun to change their own ‘expectations’).
Spending the next 25 odd years becoming more and more ‘lost’ from who I am (that little boy who knew exactly who he was), meant that even alcohol and coffee began to taste good and I certainly only ever had any feeling of ill if I went drastically overboard – a long way removed from just a single sip warning me of the danger/harm by its taste…
Then a few years ago I attended a few presentations by Serge Benhayon that shed light on who I truly am and why I was so far removed from being me through the choices I’ve made throughout my life.
With all that gathered momentum, my life is a challenging ‘ship’ to make an about turn in, but I’m coming around and it’s with all these honest, frank, courageous blog statements and particularly Oliver’s recent post offered here, that makes it so much easier for all boys and men alike, to recognise they are no different – if only they choose to be, as Oliver (and others) has chosen.
… And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Thank you Greg for your writing, I can see how there comes a point when the journey takes its turn back on to itself and suddenly there before us is all the choices of our past. And with wisdom and experience this is when we turn to our youth and give all that we have, so that they may learn and be wise too.
It helps bring so much understanding to our life and our choices, when you think of us each as these sizeable ships Greg. It’s a recipe for frustration and disappointment when we focus on small goals we want to achieve immeadiately. When we consider the whole trajectory of our life and those we have lived before, it’s then we get that each small step back to Love is a huge step for mankind.
I love the humor in your blog Greg. The same goes for all wayward turns in our life, it’s much easier to turn the ship while young and the momentous tide is not pushing us at full force.
No matter how long we have been away and no matter where we are at in life and no matter the circumstances we can always choose to return to the truth we know, in any moment, returning step by step.
It is an interesting point you make Greg , how we conform to an idea of what is wanted from us, but even that idea is not embraced by some (the girls in your case), as it is plain to see that we are not our true selves.
When we make our sense of ourselves dependent on how others choose to be or how society lives, we are lost at sea. Our ship is designed to sail governed by the fire in our heart, under the stars in the sky. All the stuff in between is irrelevant pollution which just gets in the way, like plastic bags in the waves. Thank you Greg for sharing how you plotted your own course and navigated your way back to Love.
Great reminder Greg, it’s never too late to turn our life around and make different choices and the more people who turn their lives around the bigger the reflection for the young, to accept and embrace who we are first, and not to follow the path of trying to fit in, where we lose ourselves completely.
“it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…” I love what you say Greg, we do not have to repeat this way of life through generations over and over until the end of days but can make a change and with that allow the younger generation to not make the same choice they will regret when they live in an old body that less supple manoeuvres.
What a role model you are Greg – sharing with the world what being a true man is about. Tenderness first, rest comes second.
We are embarrassed when we are asked questions we think we should know the answer to. We bluff and cover up and attempt to distract from the fact that we have nothing to say. Wow, we’d be better off just admitting ‘I have no clue!’. But it seems the more basic the topic the more we try to pretend. So when it comes to the topic of what it is to be a man, how many of us would admit that perhaps we don’t even know what this is? Your words here Greg help me see that it’s not a bad thing to admit defeat but a needed stage to question who we are and build this knowing from our heart.
A wonderful, loving message to be ourselves. The world maybe set up to discourage us but I’ve always noticed that those who accept themselves for being themselves, not in reaction or arrogance but with humility and love, they don’t have the openings where other’s can plant seeds of self-doubt or critique and this is very inspiring.
We are never too old to change direction, we all have the choice to move in a way that brings us back to who we naturally are.
Sharing this experience with our young is such a powerful moment to appreciate in this blog. To offer another the opportunity to read and hear what can be our lived potential is a great gift to offer the world.
If we are prepared to let go .. we will find that our past becomes less strong, especially if the past has been a time of pain and suffering. The greater we allow ourselves to be the more of what we have allowed that was not that – gets discarded. We are forever evolving – the more we can let go of, the greater our greatness can be.
What becomes clear to me in reading this blog is that the existence of for instance coffee, beer, sugary drinks etc. to numb ourselves can only exist because we have walked away from that sensitive, delicate and tender being we all innately are and in us not wanting to feel the hurt of that separation.
Yes, many of my ‘coping mechanisms’ are really ways of numbing out the knowing of how beautifully sensitive I am and the pain of trying to do away with that sensitivity – like pouring scalding water on a burn.
There are so many ways we can attach to being ‘something’ – the flavours and varieties are seemingly endless. We can know that the stereotypes we are sold are not true, but then make plans, and choices based totally in reaction – so we are still controlled by these ideals even as we reject them. The beautiful and gorgeous warmth that we feel in our cells when we are ‘with ourselves’ is so awesome – no wonder we struggle so hard to find some kind of replacement. Your words here Greg help me see how simple being us can actually be.
Its rather lovely to hear a man present that men are naturally tender, and that being gentle is not sissy but much closer to our natural inbuilt qualities. Thanks Greg for sharing how you felt and how you have also been inspired by the presentations Serge Benhayon has made that unravel the nonsense we get fed about what being a real man is.
Thank you Greg as this highlights so beautifully and powerfully that there can never be a substitute for being who we are. There is not one ideal or belief in this world that could ever possibly come close to matching up to the majesty we are in essence. Our inner-qualities are not of this world and to seek to hitch ourselves to a concept that cannot and does not represent who we are, will only cause us to feel at a loss. Such is our responsibility to reflect the light of who we are and confirm to our children, that being who they are is where their true power lies.
Men are truly wonderful in their understanding that they are not rough and tough, but tender and loving.
The most important education we can ever get is to simply be true to ourselves, no matter what.
Agreed Elizabeth – if education focused more on confirming children, that knowing and being who they innately are is everything, our world would be a vastly place.
It’s not so easy in this world to hold who we are with the many carrots dangled at our every turn. Perhaps if our home provided a solid foundation that we could return and confirm ourselves we would not find the journey so rough and the carrots so tempting.
The choice to make the about turn in your journey needs to be fully appreciated in us all when we allow ourselves to feel that what is not true serves not only ourselves but the quality that is offered to others.
Really being able to see where we have come from is really quite a lovely way of appreciating all that we are, where we have arrived and confirming our choices, this can be a wonderful way of deepening that connection with ourselves.
That’s beautiful Reagan, I just had this very conversation with friends last night. It comes with accepting and appreciating where we are at at the moment and appreciating our choices to have gotten us to that point.
Thank you Greg, I appreciated your encouragement to the younger folk, it’s something that’s not so common today to express our care and concern to others, especially to “strangers”. What an amazing line this is also “Spending the next 25 odd years becoming more and more ‘lost’ from who I am (that little boy who knew exactly who he was), meant that even alcohol and coffee began to taste good…”. What really struck me when I read this was how all sorts of things including relationships and behaviours feel normal or “right” when they are actually abusive and deep down we don’t like them at all. Please keep writing Greg, you have a wonderful way of sharing through expression.
Yes great advice to become aware of the impact of the choices on the body and our connection early on in life! I actually wasn’t that old when I met Serge and the ageless teachings but I still haven’t embraced the about turn in full and are often amazed at how much effort I put into not being all of me and indulging in the excesses of life.
It’s funny in this article the author should write about the taste of coffee and alcohol. I couldn’t get my head or taste buds around either of them for the first few times I had them. I never really go the coffee thing as it was so so bitter and some alcohol was the same. It was like you needed to build up an tolerance for them both or something. Funnily enough now I don’t drink either even though with one of them I am heavily involved with in business. For me then and now I don’t see the sense, they don’t taste good, you don’t feel good and afterwards you feel worse, this makes no sense. It’s interesting to look back at how things were when you were young and now be returning to that way as a middle aged person. I thought I needed to grow up and experience the world, when in fact all I need do was truly honour what I felt as it was all there already.
I reckon we develop a tolerance for all sorts of things, not just food and beverages, we accept and tolerate a way of life and relating to ourselves and others that can leave our body feeling just as heavy and bad as a night on the alcohol, or a junk food binge. We allow so many things into our life that do not truly feel right until that becomes our norm.
It is like one choice involves you saying yes to other things of a similar nature or quality. It is like everything has a consciousness and so you have the individual thing and let’s say alcohol, when you are saying yes to something like this and drinking it then everything that goes with it has now been desensitised and you are further blind to what this actual substance is doing to you. Where has your level of decency moved to and how are you seeing the world now? It may not be clear from this but what I am saying is that we don’t often look beyond the individual thing and this gives us a tunnel vision to what else is actually going on. If you were to truly study alcohol and it’s wide ranging impacts then for me you could never support it on any level but if you are just looking at it as a product then a few drinks couldn’t really do any harm, could it?
Greg a big ditto in what you share, its the acceptance of more of who I am, of all of whom I am that I refused and fought all my life but is proving to be the one of the greatest choices I am making.
Yes, why do we wait until we have ‘lived’ before we start to revert back to being the tender little packages we arrived as? We have it all so backwards, it’s such a time waster.
Today more than ever we are accustomed to instantaneous rewards, ‘press click’ or swipe your card and everything is reconciled. Yet my experience of life is that true substantial change takes place one step at a time. So like the boat you describe Greg, it’s important we don’t get disheartened by it seeming to stay fixed in it’s course. To turn a huge ship around takes steadiness, and time. And so let’s bring the same patience to us as we navigate our way back to Love.
’embrace the opportunity to choose to be you’ And what a great opportunity that is, nothing else can suffice!
A beautiful reminder Greg that we are never lost at sea, simply taken a different turn in certain places, but we will return to our residing port once again.
Today I’ve been reflecting on my past, the whole of my life, so it was great to arrive here and read this blog Greg. What I’ve realised is that I have truly come a long way from the person I used to be, and that in a way it’s like those choices and decisions I made back then are part of a separate life of someone else. It makes sense as often times it wasn’t truly me who was running the show. It’s beautiful to appreciate just how far you have moved and the different ways you have chosen truth. It encourages and inspires you to go ahead again. And like the most loving father or brother you can support yourself to step back and admire the man you have become.
It is very sad when we feel how far from our truth we travel. Turning the shop around is maybe longer with imbedded patterns but once we decide to change course it is definite in a ship!
Brotherhood is what we miss and were we need to come back. As we can see in the world – without it, there is misery, creation and continuation in separation. That is not healing or helping any one or any one thing. So when we want, we can chose to life in a way that is harmonizing for oneself and humanity, as there must be another way to life in brotherhood, as to we all know it to be, and we all have experienced the opposite equally.
Knowing you today Greg it is beautiful to see how you are now once again the tender, gentle being you always were. And that’s an inspiration for all men to return to who they are – even if that ship takes several lifetimes to turn around.
Giving ourself permission to be true to ourself, I agree Greg, embrace the opportunity to choose to be you.
Love this analogy of turning an old ship around, I can feel the labouring movement through the water. It reminds me of the consistency it takes and, despite the resistance, to keep on keeping on, being steadfast. It’s also not about pushing and using force is it ? We can change the habits of a lifetime when we really decide to take care of ourselves and do what we know is true.
Great sharing Greg, it’s a great confirmation for many of us who new the truth of what was happening around us, but were never confirmed in this, and so shut down and conformed. The more we confirm this truth in the youth today the more people will hold this in there livingness.
In the end it comes back to letting go of the idea that life shapes us and return straight back to what we deep down feel is true and nurture and foster it from that day on with deep dedication and love.
What a great blog Greg highlighting the most important thing in the world – to just be ourselves, how many of us have wasted so much time and energy trying to be something we are not – how poisonous.
It’s incredible how much energy is used to not be you … how much you feel something or want to express and it’s overridden. When, all the energy should be focused on being everything that you feel and know. To me it is the greatest treasure on earth that each of us can have.
Here here Rick there is nothing worth more than knowing who we truly are.
As we grow up, we start clocking it’s safe not to be who we truly are, and then as we try to find a way to form a ‘successful’ life we figure out it actually works better not to be who we truly are and this belief gets firmer and firmer as we grow older. It’s ridiculous that we are sticking to this prerequisite in order to sustain the way of the world that is proving itself to be at fault more and more.
“it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…” So true, beautifully expressed and which I totally endorse. Dear young generation, as a person who is now in his 60’s and did not start to learn to ‘be himself’ until his 50’s and who embraced not ‘being me’ to gain love and recognition from as long as I can remember, head these words.
The about turn of an older ship may take a little longer in certain aspects but that choice to turn about is in an instant – I can accept all the clearing up of my mess knowing I have made a commitment to return. It’s when I dally that I know I’m being irresponsible, but again, in an instant and can set course back to myself and return.
This is really beautiful Greg and it is so very true, that the more we embrace who we are at an earlier age, the less protections one has be discard in later life. It is of course easier to look back with 20/20 vision, through the eyes of so called lived experiences and wisdom, that we can offer such advice to teenagers or a younger version of ourselves, but it is in the moments of being a teenager that makes it a challenge to claim oneself, even in the face of what is today being presented in the world to be anything but ourselves.
I love what you have shared here Greg, so many of us make choices that harms us and take us away from who we are, making steps towards love and beginning to connect with our true selves is life changing and brings a different quality and joy that is worth embracing everyday.
“… And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…” I love what you have shared here Greg and it may be easier to turn a young jet ski around and change the path of a young jet ski’s life, but an old ship has a lot of wisdom and experiences to share with those young jet ski’s too. It’s beautiful to think that we can make simple changes to the way we live anytime and at any age. As we always have learning and growth to shift us in the right direction.
Serge Benhayon has deeply inspired many to make meaningful lifestyle changes that reflect more of the true nature of who we are, this is such a blessing as once we connect to this innate quality within we can inspire others alike.
Gorgeous Greg, isn’t it also about choosing truth or comfort and that we know we sway the ‘often chosen ship’ over with truth what reactions and consequences this might rise, hence we prefer the safe route, the safe ship, instead of go on full power, in your unique expression, your absolute Way.
I find it extremely inspiring for anyone to go through their years of education and still remain as ever solid and committed to their connection with themselves. Some of the most disasterous and greatest forms of hurt we experience in our lives are from this period and remain with us unhealed for a long long time.
’embrace the opportunity to choose to be you’ You can do this at any age and stage of life – its never too late.
It says a lot about society when we give more attention to the obvious disasters and evils in this world than the choices of someone to choose to not be themselves simply because society is not confirming them for who they are. In my books both are just as bad as each other.
It’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’… Interesting reflection… what is amazing is what I see often in that people, given the opportunity, and the ‘safe abode’ , people can let go of a whole lifetime of dis-connection in under an hour , and re-embrace their own beautiful expression.
I agree wholeheartedly Greg. All the blogs are so deeply inspiring and support making changes in my own life too.
“…..I’m coming around and it’s with all these honest, frank, courageous blog statements and particularly Oliver’s recent post offered here, that makes it so much easier for all boys and men alike, to recognise they are no different – if only they choose to be, as Oliver (and others) has chosen”.
I often come back to read this blog Greg. I feel it’s because this idea of ‘who you are’ can be a difficult one for any one to break through. Sure there are some habits we can let go and this starts to allow us to free up – but do we truly let ourselves stop and see that the idea we have ourselves as a limited human being is not true at all? For it seems to me as long as we live denying our multi-dimensionality, we are like great big yachts, amazing rigs, huge cruisers, pretending we are row boats.
‘Old ship’ or not, it is a glorious moment when we realise we needn’t have taken on all that we did, in order to conform, be accepted, and even survive a particular style of upbringing. Not all easy, as there is then work to be done, to extricate ourselves from the falsities that were never truly ‘us’… yet how deeply every step of this is to be celebrated, for the return home it brings, that then also shows to others, they needn’t deny who they are to get through life – not in the slightest.
Your blog clearly shows that we do know what is going on but we just make choices to play a game of fitting in with others. The more we liberate ourselves from the prison of wanting to be like others and to be liked by others, the more joyful life becomes.
Life offers us every opportunity to walk away from who we are without any effort. Those opportunities always bring a reward our way. We are rewarded for choosing to let go our greatest treasure only to discover later on that there is no compensation in this world for the beauty we are leaving behind.
Great analogy of a ship doing a turn….that Is how I have felt in my life, I felt the truth and I began steering that way and yet my habits where still heading another way…..it has had to be gentle, steady and consistent, but I can feel this commitment is making waves in the right direction.
Today I realised I’ve lived a certain way all of my life that was completely false- all to fit in and ‘not rock the boat’. They’ll be more revelations like this where I realise I’ve chosen to not be true. I’ll be faced with choosing to either let go of these behaviours and accept I made them, or try to numb out awareness of this and try to carry on as before. The latter I’ve tried and it simply does not work because my body is calling for me to be in harmony with who I am and though it’s painful to feel the impact of my choice to fit in at the expense of my body and those around me, it’s short-lied because the body knows how to return to harmony and restore order.
It is amazing what we do to ‘fit in’ or ‘be liked’ and with the increase in social media this mentality is happening more and more especially with young people. That is why it is absolute gold that people like Serge Benhayon present, live and reflect the importance of being true to who we really are and in honouring what we feel, this is so incredibly important.
Beautifully shared Carola, it is a response-ability each one of has to be the reflection, live the love, inner knowing and inner quality we innately are. This will support and encourage our children ..and others to hold true to all they are.
Reconnecting to our essence is such a joy, and it is never too late to turn the ship around. We may stray from ourselves trying to conform; yet our essence always remains steady and unwavering awaiting our return.
I think I spent most of my school and adult life trying to fit in with everybody else. I didn’t like alcohol or cigarettes but made myself like them to be like my friends at the time. And then I tried to be the person I thought other people wanted me to be and was forever living with a sense of not quite achieving anything. Once I learned about simply being me, life became way less stressful. I know how to be me, I don’t have to be dishonest in any way.
Wise words Greg – and wisdom I’d love to have learned when I was a young ‘jet-ski’ rather than a ageing vessel. Having said that, it is very beautiful at any time of life to reconnect with the truth of our beingness and it is certainly never too late to do so.
Greg Hall, I wanna thank you for taking the time to share such important truth – to not only educate our young but equally share with the older generation what there is we can change and come back to. We are not lost. Beautiful example of how we can change our life it does jot matter how we have lived.
I am so looking forward to be a young person growing up with parents who have the understanding of the reality I am a loving being!
Thank you Greg, it is great to reflect on our past choices to enable us to further expand outwards.
It is interesting that we may end up liking what we know we profoundly dislike. It is not that we acquire the taste (for let’s say alcohol), it is that we have acquired the taste for the fact that we are totally lost.
So true as a child we simply know who we are in essence, we spend years being told that it is not enough and for many we have listened a great deal to what people have said and not held true to who we know ourselves to be, I know I have chosen this myself. It is never to late, to uncover and reconnect with who we truly are.
Such a strange and convoluted life where we start out connected to ourselves and then go so far off and have to let go of all that is not true to come back to the truth, awesomeness and simplicity we have always been. Something a bit crazy about the whole thing that more you look at it!
Agree Nicola, this seems to be the game of life, where we can lose ourselves in creation until we awake and realise we are going around in circles. What a joy to stop and feel the connection to the truth we are.
A fascinating relationship you draw Greg between ‘losing yourself’ and ‘liking coffee and alcohol’. Your true self, likes neither. That is a whole new take on psychology and dieting wouldn’t you say?!
Thank you for this blog Greg.
Deep down we all know the potential of who we are. Giving ourselves permission to let this out without reserve is a gift only we can give ourselves.
Really at some level everyone wants to be met, to connect and to express love – strange that our world is setup for everything but.
Love what you share here, it’s so true the choice to be dishonest about who we truly are is the worst to feel. It doesn’t bring us closer to others at all, it only isolates us more while the false tops layer is showing us that we belong to the group. In deep isolation from who we truly are.
I would just like to take a moment to appreciate everyone who has contributed to this bog site. The blogs here are very inspiring and I feel they totally support any of us who are finding our ship challenging to turn around and like-wise can inspire us with new insights and ways that can speed up that process. Let’s not forget those who make comments too for sometimes the comments in themselves can be just what is called for.
Very true Greg – being a youngster myself, I can declare I have made the choice to be myself instead of partying hard and loosing myself again. To start exploring who I am at a very young age I must say it is absolutely HOT, more HOTTER than a drink, party, date , sex , drugs or rock and roll could have ever given me. I am who I am – that is truly me. And with that comes enormous JOY AND FUN! No need for anything outside me , everything can only truly add or not.
I really love what you have shared here Greg, there is so much to appreciate. Not only your personal unfolding and what it has meant for you, but speaking personally, what I also have been able to shed and claim with myself from attending Universal Medicine presentations and practitioners is truly amazing.
Beautiful Greg, ships can easily be turned by the tide and knocked about by the rough sea, but if one stays strong to the flow of the breeze, the course it takes can only lead one home to truth.
What a stunning quote/analogy!
When I reflect on my youth, I know recognise the moment I dimmed my light to fit in, and yes 30 years went by before I realised I had ‘ IT ‘ all along. Returning to the child like joy and self love, appreciating every lesson to return and evolve is by far the most loving act I have ever chosen for myself.
Simple words of wisdom thank you Greg for sharing them.
Very much agree with your ending sentence Greg, I turned down that opportunity at the age of 13/14 when it came so naturally to me. At 20, I am taking that opportunity to unfold myself however, I do have a heavier ‘ship’ to turn now!
Ahaha Greg I love this analogy: “. . . embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…” Thank you for being such an inspiration for all the ‘young jet-skiers’!
The gorgeous way you share your experience holds much wisdom and learning for young and old alike and the beautiful thing about life is that each and every day we are presented with a fresh start – the choice is always there either to make changes or stay stuck in the same groove.
This blog completely debases the common saying (aka. outright lie and very good excuse for not taking responsibility!) that ‘you can’t teach and old dog new tricks’. Being stuck in our ways is a choice and is not who we are.
‘… And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…’ – Whilst I am the ‘old ship’ making the ‘U’ turn I am getting there and I so love the expression in this blog Greg which connects to everyone. The old returning ships have so much to offer in their reflection to our younger jet ski’s as life continues to prey upon those living from who they truly are. Expression is everything and if you had had the opportunity to express the pressure you felt as a young and deeply precious and delicate young person having an ‘old ship’ there to listen and respond would have been massive. Thank you Greg.
So true Greg, it is not so easy to ‘turn around an old ship’ however it is never too late to do so. Your story does need to be read by the generation of boys approaching adulthood, for even just the notion of ‘holding onto your true self’ seems a novel concept to some. I know as a young developing girl I would have benefitted hugely from similar wisdom.
Greg,
I have come to know that even the biggest ship can do a graceful about turn. It simply never is too late to choose what we innately know to be true. The beauty of choosing this in the younger years of life is that we get to live the beauty of who we are for a much greater time in our lives.
I love the simple appreciation of your blog Greg, of the support in these blogs of many like minded people and how with that support it is easier to shed many of the ideals and beliefs that keep us from experiencing more joy in connection with others.
It’s an astonishing truth to realise that the thing we are searching for and miss the most is simply ourselves. And it’s by the choices we make to dishonour our truth and true feelings that we veer completely off course, and later find ourselves unrecognisable to the gorgeous little person and essence we were born as. Thankyou Greg, an awesome blog, and here’s to turning back to simply being who we are.
It changes things dramatically when we allow ourselves to just be, and stop trying. I’ve been trying so hard all my life, and beginning to realise that I don’t have to have all the answers – that it is OK to defer to others. All I have to be is me.
Even if an old ship took longer to turn around it still will turn around and that is what counts. This is so much more inspiring than to choose to continue the way into “bad weather” so to speak.
It’s interesting to reflect on those moments as a young man when peer pressure got me to persevere with things that initally didn’t make sense. Beer does not taste nice for about the first 2 years! Whisky is the same… Cigarettes are probably the most idiotic – I remember practically choking the first few times. Incredible the abuse that we allow ourselves to get used to.
I feel this is related to what you’re sharing Greg. I met a young woman today who had the courage to cancel her engagement to her boyfriend of seven years and has possibly saved much heartache for both of them many years down the track. I admire the strength and courage it takes to do this knowing that there will be those who criticise and judge and that there will be ‘friends’ who choose to no longer remain so. She chose herself and what was true for her and even her ex fiancé told her he admired her for making this decision.
“And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…” So true Greg. It behoves us all to be who we naturally are – yet we can get easily sidelined by our peers when growing up if we don’t stay true to ourselves – or get a strong confirmation of that from our parents and teachers (who of course in their turn didn’t get it either). What a wonderful reflection you can offer to the young people around you nowadays.
I just love how when we make a life changing choice how suddenly the support is there, often in a way that you would have never expected. Greg how beautiful that you took the helm of “your ship” and steered it back to you – the gorgeous young man who went off course for a while, but finally found his way back to port.
What a great message – to make the choice of how you want your life to be now and don’t wait for the future. Also an equally great message – that it’s never too late to change the course of a ship, no matter how large or fast it’s momentum is.
When gentlemen live as gentle men the world is shown a more gentle way of being.
Great wisdom for all men young and old, Greg, ’embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’.
Above anything else – ’embrace the opportunity to choose to be you’ – the true you
There is so much pressure as a teen to be a certain way instead of our self. If this pressure is resisted and we don’t conform it’s difficult to face 99% of people attacking us, often including our very own parents, siblings, teachers or our so called best friends. It takes great courage and a love and value for ourself to hold steady in the face of this. Some teenagers growing up now are very fortunate to have the teachings and support of universal medicine and understanding parents to truly explain what’s going on and stay steady in the relationship with self.
This is a truly inspiring sharing Greg. To be who we truly are and not the person everyone thinks we should be, is difficult in this world of ours, but you have done just that and through your example others will be spared such a difficult journey.
The pressure of our peers is such a strong presence in our lives and it seems to be the simplest thing to go along with this, but no one tells us that to do so destroys our tender, loving confidence that resides deeply within.
I’m 28 years old and I can 1 billion percent say – its not worth loosing yourself for anything, once you’ve got that sense keep it and hold onto it and never let it go! Just a week, or a month or even a day is too long not being you.
What you describe here Greg shows how very much we buy into the belief that we have to become something in this world, that the way we are is simply not enough only then to realise that it makes us utterly unhappy but not knowing where it comes from. Being met for who we are, simply for who we are without all that we have made ourselves to be (for the world), is a true gift and helps us to recognise our true self and return to it step by step.
I can relate to what you have written Greg, it seemed easier to let go of what I really felt to be true and take on behaviours ‘to fit in’ and yet in reality there was always this niggling feeling that it didn’t feel right for me and in fact it simply wasn’t. I was dishonouring myself and what I knew to be a true way of living and it feels wonderful to come back to getting in tough and accepting myself for simply being me. As you say Greg it is easier “to swing an about turn on a young jet ski than an old ship” but it’s well worth it.
I agree Amita, I feel you’ve summed it up really well here.
Thanks Greg for sharing, I can relate to your story as I felt similar when younger. In primary school I felt tender and really open but when I got to high school through being bullied and by using alcohol and drugs I shut down the tenderness and became hard.
I agree with the sentiment to choose to be you early on in your life – after all, why would you ‘wait and waste’? But, where that hasn’t been a possibility, it’s important that we remember it’s definitely never too late to turn an old ship around. It’ll take a little longer, sure – but it’s worth starting the turn!
I like how you have expressed Brendan that we sell ourselves short and thus manage the consequences of this. All of this energy spent on managing ourselves rather than living joyfully and with simplicity and ease.
What a great way for young and old to get a sense of where they are at – “embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’”
I love this. Putting your hands up and saying you’ve got something wrong always seems so hard. But inevitably and undoubtedly it’s much easier in the first instance than further down the line once you’ve got the wake of the waves to manoeuvre and steer through too!
Thank you Greg for describing how we start life with all our tenderness and knowing and then through feeling rejection, taking on hurts and then numb ourselves from them, we make choices that really do not taste good at all and this shows the dishonesty that the numbness allows. You have related clearly from your own experience how the choice to begin to deal with those hurts is always available to us and that is powerful to read.
This is such a lovely, simple sharing of how we loose our true connection with ourselves in the need to conform. “…. even alcohol and coffee began to taste good and I certainly only ever had any feeling of ill if I went drastically overboard – a long way removed from just a single sip warning me of the danger/harm by its taste…” says it all.
Thanks Greg – blogs like yours are an inspiration to us all to stay on course with re-learning how to live who we naturally are, appreciating that in full and accepting that we are enough and that we don’t need to fit anyone else’s ideal and beliefs.
Gorgeous Greg. It is strange that we learn to do things that make us feel awful (coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, unhealthy food) and even stranger that I didn’t think this was strange until Serge Benhayon presented the truth about my choices. Your story allows me to appreciate all that Serge Benhayon has presented. I also appreciate your choice to turn the ship around and sail home as the world is blessed by you being you.
Beautifully said Leonne.
Your words make me consider, Greg, how we literally ‘abandon ship’ when we get to situations and environments we do not like. We come up with so many behaviours and habits not to be right there, sailing in that sea. But what your experience reminds me is that without the truth and real me, I am lost at sea. Its always just a matter of time before I come back to see this truth.
Very true Greg, I liked your last sentence, “Its easier to swing an about turn on a young jet ski than an old ship”.We have to come back the same way we separated.
Fantastic blog Greg, loved it. Amazing how when we have things for the first time like alcohol, football etc that we don’t like them and feel the ‘danger’ immediately, like how you described with the taste and how you didnt like the rough play at school. How then do we grow to have these as a normal part of life as I know so many people who enjoy watching sport, drinking alcohol and drink coffee every day. Your blog describes so simply and clearly how this can become the norm.
Great words from an elder ‘easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’ but no matter how old your vessel or what condition it is in, you can still swing it around and that’s the all important point.
Apologises Greg, I’ve just realised you are not an elder. Your writing is expressed with such wisdom, it felt old and wise like it was written from an older man reflecting back on his youth. This is confirmation that such wisdom can be expressed at any age. It’s not reserved for our older generations.
How crazy that we live currently putting others down who dare to accept and love themselves. Yet this is my experience like yours Greg, of our shared reality. Imagine a world where young children like you and I were held and cherished by those around as jewels – precious beings who enrich everyones life. Through the fact that there are Men like you and Oliver today, I feel this change is gradually happening.
Great wisdom offered here to the young, Greg – to simply be true to who you are. And to add to the advice for those who are already part way through life – you’re never too old to start to turn it around…
What you have written Greg Im sure would resonate with most men and its an awesome example you have set.
I agree. It allows women to drop their guards and know the precious beauty they hold.
“Embrace the opportunity to choose to be you”. That’s great advice Greg. Many people are affected by school, even as adults. It’s important to come back to the fact that it’s more than ok to just be ourselves.
Adults are still affected by school especially if they have children for they are to re-walk this path again but this time it is mainly an observation. The parents can see the struggles their children have to deal with and they feel or take on their pain as they watch their children change to fit in.
Serge Benhayon is a living example of the “Ladies Man” you were teased about being when you were a little boy Greg. Women (when they were girls) liked being around you because of your tenderness and care without imposing yourself in them in the slightest. How very sweet is this relationship between men and women when we are living our way naturally and almost innocently as children do. We haven’t lost that quality, it has simply been buried underneath the countless impositions of our society and culture. This sweetness is available to us all the world over.
Beautiful Simon and I agree the equality at Universal Medicine events is truly inspirational.
Thank you for sharing your experience Greg and it’s great that you were aware of the envy of other boys in primary school because of your choice to stay connected to you but how this became so much harder in high school and you then started to conform to society’s expectations. Turning an old ship around may take longer but it is so worth the effort and shines a beacon to those who are still lost.
Thank you Greg for this blog. The turn around in reconnecting back to our true selves which we knew as children feels so natural and simple. When we are trying to fit in and not rock the boat it becomes a battle within ourselves to go against what we truly feel just to please others.
This blog is so beautifully written, I agree that ..”Serge Benhayon shed light on who I truly am and why I was so far removed from being me through the choices I’ve made throughout my life.” And with each presentation Serge offers us the opportunity to go deeper into our understanding of ourselves.
It is great to know there are more and more “old ships” embracing their natural qualities, reclaiming the sensitivity and tenderness making gentle waves.
Beautiful expression Annelies. Reclaiming our way back to our amazingness which everyone has the choice to do.
Yes it is, and how blessed this world is to have more people reflecting our true nature. What powerful reflections are on offer and ones that can share just how they turned their lives around.
Greg my heart melted as I read this blog. Working with many men who have showed their tender and loving qualities is often down played. It is these traits that reflect the power of a man and what I appreciate.
A man is definitely powerful in his tenderness, I melt when I get to be around this and I can then drop further into my own tenderness as a woman.
Great advice to younger generations to get on with getting back to the simplicity of how we felt as children as our true guide to life. The more we indulge our lack of self worth and adopt others’ beliefs as ours, the further away from ourselves we travel.
‘The more we indulge our lack of self worth and adopt others’ beliefs as ours, the further away from ourselves we travel.’ Well said Cathy Hackett. There is so much and so many all around us trying to get us to buy this or that, to consume this or that, to partake in this activity or that, to look or be a certain way, it is endless. It takes a true dedication to oneself to choose ones own course and as we do so our self esteem can’t help but prosper and that natural joy we felt as children begins to return.
Thank you Greg- you share the importance of sticking to you well.
Lovely Greg. I am inspired by men like you and Oliver that don’t shy from being their gentle and tender selves.
Love your sense of humour in this sharing Greg – There is much we can learn from the younger generation eg Oliver and many others like him. There is much pressure from the world today to become so caught up in a wave of being something that you are not to please others, the expectation bar is raised. ‘Numbing out behaviours’ just keep growing to ease that ever intense pressure. To now feel and see so many men (and women) – through the generations getting in touch with their sensitivity, tenderness and expressing from what they feel to be true for them is so beautiful.
The only doorway out of the insidious plague of peer pressure, is to actually know ourselves, our ourselves with our own awareness so that we do not need to calibrate our expression in the way we are to the outside. This is of course a huge development in the antithesis of what is happening in our society… And yet it is what is absolutely necessary for each and every person and the encouragement of this should be paramount in our education system.
Words of wisdom from the “old ship” Greg.
When you are young your body can feel just like a ‘jet ski’ – powerful fast and able to manoeuvre easily through life. But all our choices accumulate and do indeed catch up with us. When you are an old boat you are well experienced and have manoeuvred through and weathered many storms. Some of these storms may have been quite challenging and may of even caused some damage that needed repair. Regardless, we all must appreciate the wisdom we can learn from each of these storms to support us to make wiser choices, choices that help us to accept who we are so we can build on that potential. Great analogy Greg!
“it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’” – what awesome advice to our younger generation. To support them to understand when they begin to ‘change’ who they really are to fit in or arrest a feeling of thinking they are discovering themselves, is the greatest gift we can share with them. Thank you Greg for your inspiration.
Yes Gina, sharing like Greg’s allows younger men to see that there is another true way, that we don’t need to dishonour ourselves to fit in with the world.
What I have experienced Simon is that by being in the presence of Serge Benhayon, he doesn’t even have to speak and I naturally get a reminder to connect to who I am. To also allow my shining light from within (my essence) to come out and to share and be open to everyone. It is always a blessing when I walk into a room or hall full of people who are also choosing to connect to their essence. When we choose to connect to absolute love and truth, we naturally inspire others to choose to connect to that too.
Reading your blog again Greg is a great reminder that all we have to do is to choose to always just be ourselves. Nothing else beats this feeling of claiming who we are and knowing how beautiful and powerful we are, and to then share this with the world.
Greg, seeing who you are today is certainly a man who knows who he is and holds himself in deep love and respect. So beautiful that you ultimately chose ‘You’.
Thank you, Greg. Your sharing makes me realise how children are not allowed to just be themselves, and how easy it is for them to choose not be – surrounded by the barrage of images of how a man/woman should be and look like through media, at school, in the cultural tradition – and if we as an adult are not honouring to be ourselves and show another way to be in this world, what are the chances of them retaining their loveliness and tenderness that they are born with? We have a responsibility not to hold back the way we know to be true and supportive.
Yeah I remember coffee and alcohol not tasting any good. It also didn’t like diary products either but slowly over the years I “matured” in a connoisseur of these things thinking I was being all grown up leaving that sweet, delicate, sensitive little girl behind.
My experience is that when you choose to turn that old ship around, the tides and winds etc are perfect and there to support.
Yes, it’s so true, I feel how I went with the ‘tough’ guys, not 100% of the time, but enough to not completely stand alone, as i felt at the time. But now, having met Serge Benhayon and his presentations, I can feel I have never wanted to be that way; I am a sensitive and tender man who enjoys life best when I am in connection with those qualities. It’s a true joy to come back and let more and more of the holding back go.
Whether you are a ‘young jet-ski’ or an ‘old ship’ Greg, it is never too late and it is equally valuable. Thank you for being the tender man you are, you are an inspiration for the younger men.
Great pick-up Dean. Who doesn’t love to feel natural? Who doesn’t love the company of someone who is being their natural self?
Spot on Oliver and dean their is so much falseness and pretense in the world it is is lovely to be around and feel people when they are simply be their ‘natural’ self with no put on and not trying to prove anything.
I totally agree Dean and Oliver. Anyone who is at ease with themselves and naturally expresses that is a real magnet to others. To be able to maintain this ‘naturalness’ consistently requires a huge degree of self love but as Greg has demonstrated in his blog, even ‘old ships’ can change course :).
I too remember the first sips of alcohol as a child. It was so nasty I coughed and spat it out. May we listen properly to our bodies from young to old. Like you were saying Greg, it’s much easier to listen to the first experience we have, than the 100th.
So true Oliver, the 1st experience of anything screams to us if it does not feel right, then the more times we override what we are feeling and what our body is telling us the harder it is for us to feel it because we have accepted it as a part of our life.
Looking back, it feels crazy to have overridden the way I felt about alcohol and used it to fit in with the crowd and also to numb myself.
Christopher, alcohol is one of those very damaging substances we as a society have deemed acceptable. I remember when I used to think or champion marijuana as being natural and good for you – when it is far from it. But nonetheless it is interesting to see how blinkered we can become when we do not want to see the truth behind something and want to continue living the way we are.
That is so true, I have so much respect for men who are comfortable enough in themselves to show their tenderness, it also reminds me who I am.
Absolutely – it takes a lot of courage to stand up and be different and show who you really are, rather than hiding behind an image or, as you say, a false bravado.
I agree Meg and Simon, it does take a lot of strength to stand up and say this is me, imperfections and all. And the more of us who do it the easier it becomes for everybody else to do the same. Serge Benhayon has been inspirational at starting to show men this way of living is possible and now many are following suit.
Definitely – the more people who stand up and show everyone who they are, the easier for all of us to do it.
Exactly it just takes 1 person to lead the way and show what is possible. Slowly but surely other people are then inspired simply by reflection. The ripple effects are huge and a joy to see more and more people living more lovingly with themselves and with others.
Definitely – I know you inspire me every single day 🙂
This is the great reflection that is possible when men are living from their essence. When men are living tenderly and naturally it allows others to feel that its possible to live in another way.
It certainly is a telling sign that we are so far away from being our natural selves when things that are not good for us (alcohol, coffee, cigarettes) start tasting good! Thank you for sharing how you have started to return to being your gentle self again 🙂
It is so very beautiful to see men claim back their tenderness! It makes me melt and naturally connects me to my own fragility. To meet a man and feel that the boy inside him is alive brings so much fun to the connection and it is a joy to be with such a man.
Judith I completely agree with you- it melts my heart also to see a man being tender and just naturally himself. Reminds me to be naturally myself.
Absolutely Judith. Seeing a man claim his natural tenderness is delicious and a beautiful reflection for all.
This is amazing Greg. What I realised reading your words is that we almost all choose as a humanity to step away from who we truly are as a kid. It made me ponder on the fact that if we all would stay with ourselves there actually would not be a reason to step away from yourself as by pressure from the outer. I know this is far from what the reality is at this moment but very possible indeed. Like you said: “… And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…”.
Thank you Greg, for your encouragement to the younger ones, so that they can have a choice to live a full life, living from who they truly are, and inspiring other young people to do the same. It doesn’t matter how old the ship, it can always be turned around if the choice to do so is there. This ship of mine didn’t start to turn until I was 68 years of age.
Thank you so much Greg for your honest words . . . It touched me because if men are truly themselves they are so tender and in a way also innocent and that is not only for men a real inspiration.
So true esteraltmiks, when men are tender and gentle this is inspiring for all
Support networks around us as we make the ‘about turn’ do make it easier, Luke, and the reflection you then bring to others builds on that. Even as an ‘older ship’ it is a no-brainer, and an incredibly loving way to live.
Very true ch1956…
Gosh Greg this is awesome… I particular love your last sentence;
“And to the younger generations reading these blogs – embrace the opportunity to choose to be you, it’s surely easier to swing an about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’…”
It’s very inspiring for me as a young person to read the experience that you have had and how having the opportunity to come back to who you are as a young person is a blessing. I have much to appreciate.
It is a beautifully intertwined connection between the generations. If lived in love, both generations evolve and grow into grander versions of each other.
So beautiful Greg that you were inspired by Oliver’s blog and have now in turn written a piece that is equally inspiring to all men young or older.
And what I also love about this Anne is that Greg has shown that no matter your age or where you are in life there it is always possible for all men to return to the innately gentle men that they are.
It’s beautiful to read blogs from men such as yourself Greg, who can reflect on the changes and challenges you experienced in your youth. The fact that you came through these to live and express your natural sensitive and tender self, is an inspiration to all males, both young and old.
☺ Great article Greg. You are as inspiring as your younger tender counterpart Oliver.
Greg having always felt so uncomfortable at school, not fitting in and thinking I was the odd one out – what dawned on me is that very need to fit in has carried through my life but what I did not “fit into” was not true in the first place. The boarding school with all the rugby, sports, church, segregation of girls v boys never felt natural but in the end I gave up to it – gave up me to fit in. So I’ve often talked about not fitting in at school as if it’s a bad thing – when the reality is – it was actually a great thing. The problems really started when I felt I started to fit in as I then lost who I truly am. Thank you as I had not looked at things this way before.
Thanks Greg for emphasising the importance of being true to yourself and resisting peer pressure.
How amazing it is when the ship starts to turn around and you embrace all of who you are – a beautiful and worthwhile choice.
I agree with you Greg, the nature of alcohol starts with a single sip warning us of it’s harm by its taste to an effortless drinking way too much before we get ill, without even realizing it.
With twenty five years of gathered momentum, life is a challenging ‘ship’ to make an about turn in, but it’s coming around. Thank you
A great reminder Greg to keep on turning our ships, or jet-skiis, around with love and tenderness.
When I was a little boy I was very expressive, gregarious and confident, growing up I learnt quickly that it wasn’t safe to be myself, and that to be loved and accepted I had to do things in order to be loved and accepted.
I had a lot of jealoucy directed at me from my family and all the people around me, as I had so much joy and light, I learnt to transform in somebody and played role that was not really me, as a result I lived a life which simply wasn’t me.
With the help and care of the practitioners of Universal Medicine I start to re-discover that playful joyful little boy again.
Thank you Greg for your inspiring blog.
lovely to hear that Thomas. I too was confident, expressive and unapologetic, very joy-full, sensitive and feminine. Amazing that by attending Universal Medicine and being inspired by the presentations I have began to re-connect with that and live it, it is simply amazing! The freedom of being all of these qualities now when I am grown up is better then imagined, WOOHOO!
Very true Greg, Oliver’s blog is amazingly inspiring because he shows clearly what a true man is and also that we could live as one. In truth, we are pure tenderness. Allowing it feels amazing in the body. Not allowing it requires disconnecting from oneself big time.
When I was child, I chose disconnection too, unfortunately. I have learned how a man has to behave and I did. I can still remember how tender and naive I was at age 5-6. Later on I was gone. Yet, inside me it always remained a sense of beauty that did not sit well with my life and which created a lot of tension. Honestly, I did not know how to manage it and I did not do a good job. Life did me big time. I have collected too many hurts along the way.
In the last five years or so, in my context of the involvement with Universal Medicine, I gave myself permission to loosen up my added layers of toughness (which also entailed a good amount of in built protection). This is important. Toughening up requires an incredible amount of protection against the world you help to create and sustain. Isn’t it absurd?
Greg, how beautiful that you can remember knowing who you really are. Your ship has not only done a turnaround, but a complete flip. What a wonderful marker you have in your body of your younger youth, something that will so support you on those tough days. What you write here about the peer pressure that ‘got’ you in high school and beyond, is great to read about. How much this could support children going into their teens and beyond today.
I relate completely, but also, knowing the beautiful man you are now Greg (some years since writing the blog), I’m interested in knowing how the about turn was executed? I am not a jet-ski, nor an old ship, but a 32 foot Cigarette boat at speed changing direction and that, I can assure you, feels great too.
It is crazy that instead of supporting our gorgeousness and preciousness that we are when we are younger we do the opposite and harden and follow the crowd. I have done the very same thing in not honouring me and the Love I know I am but instead have spent my life resisting this. How absolutely crazy is that? Resisting the love I can feel within me and that I know I am! We are not alone in the world and many I am sure have felt and feel the same, which means we have a responsibilty to be all that we are and shine a light so that others can have the same self-care, self-love and self-worth in honouring themselves too.
I know that feeling well Vicky, I too was resisting the love I could feel within me and that I knew I was! It’s all that competition that we were taught at school – instead we should have been taught to have a ‘responsibility to be all that we are and shine a light so that others can have the same self-care, self-love and self-worth in honouring ourselves’.
You bring up an interesting point Greg in that there seemed to be a point where the girls changed their expectations on what being with boys was all about. At an early age we have no problem accepting boys as equals in all aspects of life but then the expectations of gender come into play and we are taught to treat them differently from us. How crazy is that?
It is so powerful to read blogs like this – and Oliver’s – because it reminds me of my youth, of that time, of that knowing. And that is such potent fuel. To really remember how we did know it all. For me this is hard, because the masks and hiding started so very, very early that even at such a young age my truth would only come out in short bursts (dreams, specific behaviours). But nonetheless I can absolutely feel it was there. How can I be sure? Because what I am now connecting to through the inspiration of Universal Medicine is the boy that I am, the man that I am, the love that I am. And ALWAYS have been.
Thank you for the reminder of that innocence and delicateness that we innately are as men, and that it is something we can always come back to if we choose to with honesty that the way we are living as men is not working and have the willingness to let go of ideals and beliefs that have been holding us back for aeons. We are deeply tender and sensitive beings and it is awesome for men to start to embrace and honour this in full.
I laughed at these words Greg as I could so relate to them: “ it’s surely easier to swing and about turn on a ‘young jet-ski’ rather than in an ‘old ship’”. But as creaky as the “turning about” can be, there is no way that I would want to be traveling in the direction that I used to be.
I also share similar words with the younger generation, encouraging them to hold on to, and to appreciate who they truly are. I have an eight year old grandson who I am able to have such honest discussions with – normally over a cup of lovely herbal tea – about life, and about not having to be anything but who he is. When we are together next I will remember the wisdom you have shared, and will share it with him.
The beauty of being you is something of much worth and desire to come back to (: thank you Greg .
This is so beautiful- it always touches me when a man is honest and comes back to its natural being- no less tender than any women. Thank you for sharing your return.
No matter how old the ship, the inspiration that shines through one who is making the choices to live in honour of who they are is one that illuminates across the seas.
We feel like we have no choice at the time when we make our decisions when we are younger, but as you say Greg we place more importance on everything else that we do than being true to ourselves and being who we are. With men like yourself leading the way for men of our future men all men and women will know and understand that being ourselves in all things will mean everything.
A great reminder to know we can at any time choose to step back in the captain’s seat of life and steer our ship in the direction of love. As I am learning being the true me is the greatest love and choice I or anyone can make.
Absolutely love this Jade: “A great reminder to know we can at any time choose to step back into the captain’s seat of life and steer our ship in the direction of love.” There is always a choice and that choice is always ours to make – or not!
Thank you Greg for your sharing , you are spot on we do know what is true when we are children and still live in an innocence that allows us to feel what is instead of getting caught up with what we think is right or accepted based on the way the world already functions. It is to step back into that innocence that offers such clarity and has not been sullied by an array of beliefs and ideals that in truth have never worked and have only led to a way of existence not a way to live with joy and vitality and love .
Hear hear Paul. What wonderful words of wisdom. Well done. Thank you
Thank you Greg. I can relate to turning the ship around – but it is so worth the effort.
Shared with such wisdom Greg. You have been inspired to be yourself and not conform to the pressures of society. When we all choose to be ‘captain’ of our own vehicle then the magic begins.✨
Thank you, Greg, for your beautiful sharing, which is healing for young and old, men and women.
Your blog has ignited the awareness deep down of the tender, pure innocence I was (and still am) that felt so pummelled by life and the pressure to become something I wasn’t. I was a fragile and precious innocence whose light shone ever so brightly. Even though, back then, I went off course, it is a connection that has never waned and getting back on course is happening by degrees – and that is a beautiful thing.
I can really relate to what you share here ch1956 of the innocence we all have within us and the fact that this never leaves us and simply awaits us to reconnect to the essence of who we are.
I agree Marcia, and ch1955 before you… This innonence and gentle quality that Greg discusses in this blog is not restricted by race, gender, age or profession…. It is something that each one of us has naturally inside, simply waiting for us to connect to.
I loved reading about swinging the ship around Greg – it resonates so loudly in my body.
When you offer the jet-ski is easier than the ship I laughed. It’s so true and I trust many can hear the wisdom in your words.
Really enjoyed your blog Greg. So many words of wisdom in what you have written that I can relate to. I realise that one of the reasons I found coffee and alcohol difficult to give up was because I was predominately a relatively small social drinker of both. It has been so easy to fool myself into thinking that it wasn’t harming me, rather than accept that there was an accumulative effect in my body, just the same as if I was indulging in binges.
Your blog Greg and that of the other men is what offers the young men of today support in staying who they are and not changing under the pressure of culture and roles. The men who have turned their ‘ship’ around and are expressing their true tender and loving nature are so beautiful and an inspiration to both men and women. Thank you.
Great Greg. Yes, being the captain, at any stage, we can about-turn the ship and change course.
Ha ha, love it. Yes, much simpler to turn a jet ski than an old ship. I second that Greg… Be yourself from the get go and hold onto you.
Greg, great blog, I love how you’ve recognised you always knew what was true for you, and how over time with peer pressure caved in. Many of us do this, I know I did, I didn’t want to be the odd one out, but the irony is I wasn’t being me then, I was an acceptable cardboard cutout version and it always felt fake and uncomfortable despite various attempts by me to numb myself so I couldn’t feel it. Now as I too am turning my ship around (love that image), I feel more real, more honest and more me, and I love hearing of others doing the same, and most especially the young – it really inspires me.
I loved reading this Greg, more and more these days I am observing the very young and can see how they slowly change and act differently to their true nature, to fit in with others.
Beautiful. Gentle. Loving. Thank you!
Oh, Greg, I loved reading this. I particularly liked the way you describe “With all that gathered momentum, my life is a challenging ‘ship’ to make an about turn in, but I’m coming around”, I can so relate, thank you.
Thanks Greg, for sharing your story. It’s great to have men speaking up about how it was for them growing up and the pressures and choices that were made for the wrong reasons so others can see another way.
Thanks for your blog Greg. It’s unfortunate that boys feel they have to shut down their natural gentle/ tender self in order to fit into society’s image of how a male should look and behave. I agree that Oliver’s blog was inspirational and he provides a beautiful reflection for his peers.
The old ship or young jet ski, it’s beautiful to hear about the turns that all have been inspired to make by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I feel it is very important to honour myself and be an inspiration to others. During the years I have known Serge Benhayon (I was 15 when I first met Serge) I have felt how much of a support it has been for me to know another way, when the peer pressure is so big to be a ‘man’. And I feel how great it is to be an inspiration and just live a way that supports me to be the true man I am.
Great advice Greg, ’embrace the opportunity to choose to be you’, beautiful!
Cheers Greg! Amazing and truly helpful words. Just be myself and observe the other boys in all that they are and do.
Thank you Greg. I too can relate to the turnaround. Turning around back to who we are after having walked far and wide away. If it was not for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I would still be lost and wandering, knowing something wasn’t quite right but without any direction.
Rebecca what a beautiful insight, and not just for parents with children. Supposing we all let go of what we want others to be and allow them to “explore, discover and develop’ who” they “truly” are for themselves
This is so true Andrew, ‘This is why it is so important that we support and encourage our youth as much as we can to explore, discover and develop who they truly are for themselves and stop telling them who we think they are or should be.’ I know with my son that I have ideas about how I want him to be, what I would like him to do etc… when I let go of this control and just allow him to make his own decisions this feels so much more true and he flourishes and loves this responsibility, it’s a great reminder for me to allow him to ‘explore, discover and develop’ who he truly is for himself.
I can relate to what you write here Greg that perhaps many kids (me included) grow up feeling that the roles they are asked to play are not quite right. As a result it can feel a bit like a lonely ‘no-mans land’ if you are not sure who you really are. This is why it is so important that we support and encourage our youth as much as we can to explore, discover and develop who they truly are for themselves and stop telling them who we think they are or should be.
So true Andrew, and this in turn is a valuable unfolding lesson in my role as a father of 3 sons to be the light house but not the fog horn – for if they choose to wander in the fog, well that is OK…. for when the fog lifts the light house will still be there, unimposing, simply reflecting.
I loved reading your blog Greg, and now your fabulous comment amongst so many: “to be the light house but not the fog horn”. So inspired and inspiring. So many men commenting here too, unafraid to open up and be the ‘true them” because of this blog. Makes my heart melt.Thank you all.
Greg beautifully expressed – the old ship certainly does take some turning and yet when we know the direction we are heading towards we can feel the support enabling us to pull it around. The testimony to a true man – that which you – are can be felt through your commitment and love.
It is a great analogy and what strikes me is whilst it takes some time to turn around unless we start to make that turn or claim the direction we want to go (back to love) we would keep going with the mayhem. It is an inspiring commitment to love.
Thank you, Greg, your article and the comments are a reminder of just how gentle and tender all men truly are. ‘Imagine if more schools embraced a broad enough curriculum that included subjects which are not perceived as masculine or feminine but benefit both sexes equally.’ I agree – let girls do science and engineering and feel good about being themselves, and let boys do sewing and cookery and feel good about themselves. Schools would be amazing if they focused on each individual being all of who they are instead of someone else’s idea of how they should be.
Lovely Carmel, I completely agree, ‘let girls do science and engineering and feel good about being themselves, and let boys do sewing and cookery and feel good about themselves. Schools would be amazing if they focused on each individual being all of who they are instead of someone else’s idea of how they should be.’
Thank you Greg, an inspiring read for young men as they are growing up.
Greg – Thank you for sharing the tender and amazing you. It is lovely to have men coming back to their true tenderness – as reflected in comments on this blog.
I love this Greg and the tenderness of your expression is felt through your words. I love the line referring to the taste of alcohol , “a long way removed from just a single sip warning me of the danger/harm by its taste…”
It reminded me of how when I was younger I too overrode the bad taste of it and kept going even though the taste was warning me of the danger/harm I was doing to myself.
Thank you for sharing with us.
This peer pressure that has been going on for generations has affected so many. Conforming to what is expected of us to fit and act the so called ‘norm’ is one of the contributing factors as to why so many in our societies feel the effects of external pressures. Generations before us have continued along the same old road – perhaps not wanting to deal with any conflict or abuse that they may receive from calling out what does not feel true.
Greg, you are turning the boat around for all generations to come and just like you, we all need to steer the boat back to the due, more supportive, course it can take – everyone equal and living together with Love and Truth as our compass.
Hi Greg, I know how those young girls felt, as I have only ever known you to be both tender, gentle and the real you. At least now there are people out there that are genuinely willing to change their lives no matter what age – it gets rid of that old belief that people are too old to change and that there is no point. You are a living example that there is every reason to look at your choices no matter how old you are.
Love it Greg, an old ship or jet ski, you’re still the tender gorgeous boy you were born to be. And yes I wholly agree these blogs are a great resource for our next generations to be inspired by.
A great and honest piece Greg. I was fortunate enough to attend an all-male school with a strong music tradition, which didn’t equate artistic expression with
effeminacy. We had all the traditional sports as well, but playing music also had the advantage of doing joint activities with girls’ schools! I was never accused of being a ‘poof’, by my footballing contemporaries, simply because I played the trumpet and the girls I met were more into Beethoven than Biceps!
In fact, the fallacy of the notion that big muscles and sporting prowess make one irresistible to the opposite sex was well known, and girls had to be read poetry or played music to be wooed! That’s what made it so challenging and difficult. Working-out in the gym would have been much simpler!
Imagine if more schools embraced a broad enough curriculum that included subjects which are not perceived as masculine or feminine but benefit both sexes equally. Would this not work towards exposing the gender stereotyping that is currently experienced by many, and that often puts an end to displays of gentleness along with the pressure to conform which results in men burying their true selves….
Your comment about schools embracing a broader curriculum Jonathan, reminded me that in the 60’s when I started teaching drama, there was the beginning of a change in educational policy when drama, music, and dance were gradually introduced into the curriculum, for both boys and girls. However, in later years they then became marginalised again in favour of the more academic subjects and a return to sports. It seems that the benefit was not recognised, and another period of gender division, and results before relationship, set in. Many teachers who know how important it is to meet children for who they are, struggle to retain this in the present system.
A lovely article, Greg. I can relate so much to what you say – caving in to peer pressure and being an ‘old ship’. Having turned my ship around and retracing my passage I now feel like a ‘young jet-ski’ even though I may be in my 60’s.
It is inspiring to read these comments and celebrate the turn around that men have experienced since bringing love and tenderness back into your lives. Loving the ‘old ship’ to ‘jet-ski’ analogy – look out world!
Great Greg, I know well about the old ship, but we are more the like the new huge oil tankers. They are carrying lots but are slow to turn around. When we have turned… we all move forward together.
Hi Greg, thanks for sharing. I know that feeling of going about life not knowing who I really am and even when I went ‘drastically overboard’ I still wasn’t listening to my body when it was saying this is wrong, rather I was saying not so much next time. Like you, attending the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has helped me to make an about turn with my life and although I am now considered an ‘old ship’ I certainly feel like a ‘young jet-ski’.
On that comment Tim Bowyer, as your wife of 28 years, you are no longer an old ship. You have turned your life around and as your old friend said to you — “you have gone back in time”. Losing over 12 stone in weight and looking younger and feeling fitter than ever is a great sign; thanks to the life and work of Serge Benhayon.
Thank You Greg for sharing as like you, I too was far removed from the real me and chocolate was my hook for sure; along with alcohol and many other distractions that took some time for me to let go of.
Hi Greg, you are no ‘old ship’! and one awesome tender guy, but I love the sentence none the less. Great blog, thank you.
I love how this blog shares that it is never too late to turn around, regardless of what has been done or said in the past. Another great example of how when we drop the conforming ways there is this grand, amazing, beautiful person underneath. Thank you.
Beautiful sharing, Greg. I can feel the tenderness in you and the words you have written. Awesome that Serge Benhayon helped you reconnect to what was already there so the turn around could begin! Inspiring that we can choose this at any age, thank you.
Great post Greg, thank you for sharing. I can relate to many things you’ve written about and was never into the Rugby either. It’s given me lots to consider.
Thankyou Greg, I love reading about the tenderness of men, it confirms what I feel to be true.
Greg you are truly an inspiring and gentle man. Thank you for giving us further insight into the pressure men and boys face to be anything but themselves.
HI Greg, thank you for taking the time and writing your blog. All the blogs are just so inspiring. I am glad we connected at a recent workshop and it was great to feel the real gentle you. Keep you light shining bright so other ships can see you!
Your words “the boys doing the teasing were really just envious of my choice to honour being me”, shines a bright light on what underpins a lot of bullying incidents, Greg. Awesome to read of your path of return to the gentle and loving you.
Yes I agree Judy, that does shine a light on how jealousy can be what is behind bullying.
Hey Greg, it’s so true that at the time it felt easier to conform and do things that were far from easy. Also so true that it’s never too late to make a new choice.
Thank you, Greg for an inspiring blog. It was lovely to hear about you as a youth and to gain insight into that boy and to know that you are now reclaiming those feelings again.
Love it Greg and it is so beautiful to hear how you have been inspired by other’s truthful writings. So keep turning the ‘old ship’ around because as it returns to what it once knew I have no doubt that it will get an overhaul and be a jet-ski again.
Yummy you Greg. It feels very confirming what you have written and very beautiful that you are making the choice to return to that innocent tender you.
Lovely Greg.
I feel that Oliver Harling’s blog affected everyone who read it. It is great to hear about a man’s reflection following that reading. Thanks Greg.
I agree Gayle, Oliver’s blog did and does have a lasting effect on all who read it. Thank you Greg for turning about ship – back to the love you are.
Great advice. An old ship? Not sure about the ‘old’ (and notice how most ships are referred to as ‘she’).