by Jo Billings, USA
I am a woman of 40 years old and have spent about 33 of those years dealing with depression, anxiety and self worth issues. I spent many years in psychotherapy and have been on and off antidepressants since age 17. I have delved into diverse healing modalities to try to clear the suffering. I worked with naturopaths, acupuncturists, healers and shamans for a long time… but was still living daily with emotional pain.
I was plagued with the feeling that not only was I not sharing love and joy (because I couldn’t feel it myself) but that I was just adding to the pain and misery of the world with my own suffering. I felt confused and didn’t know how to live my life. I felt so off track, so lost from myself. I kept saying to myself, “I want to know Truth”.
When I read one of Serge Benhayon’s books, I was moved by how true it felt to me. True, in contrast to all the self-help, spiritual modalities and psychotherapy I had tried where I was always left feeling that I needed to sift through the muddy parts (for example, the fact that the practitioners often seemed extremely drained, stressed, unloving or outright sickly).
I wanted to learn more about Universal Medicine and began slowly listening to Serge’s audio presentations and practicing the Gentle Breath Meditation. As I became more focused on being present and less distracted, I felt stronger in myself and more able to say no to the depressive thoughts that would previously have such a hold over me. I began to feel myself, not numbness or sadness or pain.
The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me understand that what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal. With the support of audio presentations, classes, and healing sessions, I have been developing the ability to be more present, feel my feelings, accept where I am and to not give my power away to sadness or other people. I’m working on not undermining my integrity by comparing myself to anyone else. I had been trying to help people and do things to feel needed and receive acceptance from others, but I had not been offering loving attention and acceptance to myself, and that was not working!
I had often lain crying on the floor with exhaustion and had come to realise that I could not go on feeling everyone’s pain and sadness… that it was taking me out! I have also had aching kidneys (sometimes extremely painful) from childhood, which no doctors could explain. My introduction to Serge’s work came while living in Australia; when, in response to my describing how my kidneys ached, a friend opened one of his books for me to read a section about the different ways a person can deplete their kidneys. It described exactly how I had been living and giving to others without regard to myself. I was well into my own personal work of accepting the fact that my lifelong efforts to ‘help’ my family, out of this deep sympathy, was not truly helpful and that I was actually drowning myself in it. One of the courses I took from Serge (later) really helped me move with this. I can be compassionate instead of sympathetic. As I develop true compassion; learn not to take on other people’s pain and to trust others to be learning what they need, my kidneys and lower back have been steadily improving, not to mention I am not crying all the time!
By healing a lot of childhood sadness I have also gone from needing chiropractic support for my sacrum (a lot of pain and expense!) on average of 25 times a year (from age 14 to 38) to enjoying a half hour esoteric session about once a year with a shadow of the symptoms which are 90% resolved at this point.
Using simple tools such as breathing gently and learning to honor myself by not overriding what I know I need to do or say, I feel for the first time that I am Living my life, not just existing and surviving.
What I mean is that I am actually able to enjoy myself most of the time in whatever I’m doing. I ‘want’ to do things and I often enjoy connecting with people versus dreading waking up each day and experiencing anxiety around people because of feeling I was representing myself so poorly and unable to fulfill my purpose (of living / being me)…I am handling things much better now instead of feeling desperate about getting by.
I now feel more empowered and able to discern what is good for me and make supportive choices. This has changed everything about my life and it all comes from me. For example, I no longer crave and eat sugar or caffeine or take drugs and alcohol (or date unloving men) to escape unpleasant emotions or keep me going. After 25 years of trying not to eat sugar (as I could see that it greatly exacerbated my symptoms) I have found that it’s not about saying no or having a strong will; I am eating more how I need to because I can feel that it doesn’t feel good in my body to have these things. It is rewarding to be more in touch with my body! I also have chosen, for the first time, a truly supportive partner who is gentle and whom I respect.
I always felt so broken, like something was wrong with me. Now, for the first time in my adult life, I feel that I am OK and that I am really learning to take loving care of myself. I am more and more able to just be myself. I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Jo I loved reading your blog and how you have transformed your life, Serge Benhayon, and the Universal Medicine practitioners are very honest and lovingly in their support, beautiful to read how you are reconnecting to the true you.
When we accept the fact that there is nothing wrong with us, that we are not broken then everything starts to turn around for us. This is the beauty of what happens when we heal our hurts.
This is so beautiful Jo. From what I am reading it has been through your understanding of the Ageless Wisdom teachings presenting by Universal Medicine that you have been able to give yourself the permission to be yourself. This is true power – you being you.
The changes you have made here are HUGE not only that as soon as we become more loving with ourselves this sends out an energetic ripple for others to do the same as well so potentially you could be supporting someone to make similar changes as well. Reading your blog what I could feel for me was how I still eat foods that I know do not truly support me .. and this is not to bash myself up but instead to lovingly go .. okay when will this change and the shift, the step towards love has to come from within my body and impulsed by what is true and it is great for me to actually feel this in my body.
There is a point here when you talk about saying no to depressive thoughts. This is huge and really deserves to be celebrated, how amazing to come to a point where you can simply say no to a thought that you know is not going to support you to be in the world and all of your relationships. How beautiful to say no to something, anything that will have an adverse affect on you and your relationship with the world.
Yes I can relate a lot to what you have shared here Jo, the veil of depression was very prominent in my life. I also felt like i was broken, always needing to ‘fix’ myself before I was good enough for the right job, the right relationship. But it has been in connecting with myself and re-learning how to honour myself has been key the feeling how truly amazing I am.
‘I was just adding to the pain and misery of the world with my own suffering.’ Jo, that is a beautiful understanding to have in the midst of your depression – that how we are matters; it’s a contribution we each make day in, day out, moment-to-moment, to the giant swimming pool of energy in which we are all immersed. Reversing out of our ill conditions, as you have, and as we can all do in whatever way we each need to do that, lightens the load for us all.
This is the forth account I’ve read on this site today in which the author has completely turned their life around from debilitative depressive and related conditions. There’s a body of evidence here – and there’s much more here and on other, related sites – that speaks of something truly, truly worth investigating.
I can relate to this in so many ways .. in my past as having aching kidneys, feeling lost and saying I ‘want to know the truth’ (the later I completely forgot until reading your blog). What I am feeling right now is now I have been given so much, the true truth and many modalities and tools to use in life by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine .. am I truly embracing these? I am using these to the full and am I supporting others as I could be .. great to feel, ask and reflect on. Also this is huge what you have shared ‘By healing a lot of childhood sadness I have also gone from needing chiropractic support for my sacrum (a lot of pain and expense!) on average of 25 times a year (from age 14 to 38) to enjoying a half hour esoteric session about once a year with a shadow of the symptoms which are 90% resolved at this point.’
‘ I felt so off track, so lost from myself. I kept saying to myself, “I want to know Truth”.’ Depression and being exhausted is very common nowadays also in young people.What you share here makes it very clear we know there is more to life than what the majority is currently living.
Jo this is awesome. I love what you have shared here, how you just simply turned the focus of your life back on to your true qualities again – giving a love for yourself first and then out to everyone else.
Kidney depletion and depression go hand in hand; address the kidneys via Sacred Esoteric Healing and the depression starts to shift.
Depression is such a drain! It is the symptom of the choice to give up on life and humanity.
Pursuing recognition and acceptance in life allows us to compromise our true nature, it is futile as we are always in need of that which comes from outside unless we are willing to look deeper and accept the power of our love within.
To go from a feeling of being broken to feeling whole within ourselves is enormous and in fact is worthy of front page news. How we do it is by dealing with our childhood hurts and living true to us we are.
This is a remarkable turn around of your life Jo, ‘ I am actually able to enjoy myself most of the time in whatever I’m doing. I ‘want’ to do things and I often enjoy connecting with people’, very inspiring.
It is great to have more understanding and awareness, then we can choose to heal ourselves, ‘what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal.’
‘ I now feel more empowered and able to discern what is good for me and make supportive choices. This has changed everything about my life and it all comes from me.’ Truly amazing Jo what your own choices have brought you, this needs to be appreciated deeply and thank you for sharing your life with us.
Jo, I enjoyed your last paragraph and the true reward you are feeling to be more in touch with your body!
Jo I enjoyed reading your blog and how you managed to turn your whole life around. The realisation that the emptiness you felt was because you missed yourself is a huge one.
Universal Medicine taught me that my thoughts were not me – this was huge. My emotion was not me. I still wanted to play the guilty game for a while, that I was not good enough to be a son of God etc., but really, I just didn’t want to taste the ugliness of that self-indulgence any more. It is freeing and beautiful to walk as who we truly are.
When we are experiencing depression, it isn’t so easy to just snap out of it. Even though many people around you want you to do just that. There is so many variables that hinder a person just snapping out of it. There definitely are some lifestyle choices that can assist, but feeling our hurts and understanding what is going on in our bodies is always a very good start.
it is deeply healing just to read what you have shared Jo. when we absorb emotions from others that are not even from our own issues to deal with, then how hard is it to clear them? and as you have shared, at what cost to our bodies? Learning to be ourselves and hold ourselves no matter what another wants to put upon us, is a huge step, as we learn to be so that the world cannot take us out then we can offer a true support to another to see that they too have the potential to live truly, untouched by all that is not true in this world.
So much in this article to appreciate and inspired by, for example yes, the Esoteric Modalities, heaven sent, they are amazing, so deeply supportive and really get to the root of what is holding us back from living our full potential.
It is through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I began to understand why we suffer from depression and why we have this condition spreading like wildfire in our modern society.
A super inspiring blog, thank you Jo. I’m sure many people can relate to your story. How amazing that you have been able to turn your life around. A bit of guidance in the right direction and you have done the rest yourself. How empowering.
This is very inspiring Jo. How amazing that you have been able to turn your life around by choosing to make a commitment to yourself and done it without the need for anyone else telling you what to do or how to do it.
Thankyou Jo, I have read this a few times and would love to get your update – where are you now and what has unfolded for you? I appreciated your honesty about your sympathy and helping nature, I experienced this also and once I extracted myself out of it I felt shocked to realise just how consuming and futile it all is. The body certainly indicates it also when we are out of balance with life, and it’s a big learning process.
Wow Jo this article is amazing to read, I can relate to what you are sharing here, ‘I am actually able to enjoy myself most of the time in whatever I’m doing. I ‘want’ to do things and I often enjoy connecting with people versus dreading waking up each day and experiencing anxiety around people’, I used to avoid talking with people because I lacked self worth, this has completely turned around and I now actually really enjoy engaging with people, whether it be people I know or complete strangers, I feel an openness and love in me, through being inspired by the courses held by Universal Medicine, which means I now enjoy rather than feel anxious about social interactions.
What an amazing turnaround Jo, your story is deeply inspiring and reminds us what is possible when we begin to love ourselves and how this supports and allows the body to truly heal.
Well said Annie. Feeling ‘broken’ is an illusion we are sold that sets us on the path of trying to ‘fix’ ourselves. This means we come from what is ‘wrong’ and try to set it ‘right’, rather than come from what is true – we are love; whole and complete – and then working back to see what has impeded our expression of this.
As the butterfly emerges from the chrysalis, so too can we break free from that which has kept us in such a darkened slumber for so long when we reconnect to the love that burns within us all. This is a deeply inspiring account of your transformation Jo that shows us it is never too late to rise above the storm clouds that have held us so captive.
A beautiful story of love, truth, transformation and self responsibility, thank you Jo. What you have expressed here is simple yet has the power to transform lives, as you have demonstrated;
“I now feel more empowered and able to discern what is good for me and make supportive choices”.
Being able to really feel and take responsibility for why and how depression presents, is a very personal unfolding. I know for me, there was a great deal of depression in my life when I was growing up, I devalued myself and that energy still tries to creep in from time to time. But it has certainly been understanding and why it does and what that opening is for me. When I am not self honouring or valuing my worth, these thoughts come in, its that simple.
Jo what you share here is medicine that is very much needed today. I can very much relate that it is possible to be truly compassionate without having any sympathy for another and that taking on another’s pain or struggle is actually like swallowing poison and it doesn’t truly help them either. I can’t say that I’m perfect at it but do know that by being more aware of how I am relating with another and by letting go of sympathy I actually feel like then there is space to hold them in true love and equality.
Jo your story was such a delight to read. It was very heart warming to read that you are back with us in life. This is how it is done, one by one, we can inspire each other by living who we truly are so that all of us return to who we truly are.
The thing is, is that in some schools now in the UK depression is being recorded at a record high of over 70% of the student… there is something broken in our society, and band-aid solutions will not work…. Fundamental paradigm shifts, as offered by Universal Medicine, is what is needed right now.
The reading from the book on how we drain ourselves and our kidney energy should be something that everyone is brought up with. Instead we are brought up to invest in sympathy, caring for others first, duty and obligation. We are taught, especially women, that these are the things that make us a ‘good’ person. In reality this makes us feel less than we are, and leaves us so drained that we can’t offer anything solid or true to anyone else.
Jo, it has been so beautiful to read about your experiences and how you connected to the Truth. You were obviously a very sensitive child, and still are a very sensitive adult, and so often it is about being met so that we are reminded of who we are and our purpose here, and then our life begins to change. But change it does, only if and when we are ready to embrace it – as you were on encountering the Truth through the teachings of Serge Benhayon.
Amazing sharing Jo, and with all due respect to the level of depression that you have experienced, I feel too that at any point when any of us step away from our essence, we are in effect in depression. There are of course stages and grades of depression with some more severe than others, but sadly it is not the more severe cases that scare me (because at least there is an honesty about saying something is not right), it is the cases that are less severe which are almost more scary because most of the world walks around with this less severe form of depression which is actually never ever acknowledged and then it becomes our ‘Norm’…
The power of learning to love ourselves expressed so eloquently and with real humility Jo, thank you. When we ponder the possibility that we ‘miss ourselves’ it can seem an odd or unlikely suggestion, but in my experience it is true. The thing we miss most in life is our true self, our innate beingness and no amount of seeking ‘out there’ in the world will heal that. We can have the adoration of others but still feel empty inside and this surely reveals that what we need to do most is to reconnect with this innateness rather than continue seeking further without.
Really beautiful story Jo. I have pain in my sacrum right now, in fact it’s how I found your blog. What you have shared has supported me to see the link between the pain I feel and the energy I have taken on during the day.
There have been quite a few times in my life where I felt like I was broken and needed to be fixed, especially around the time I became a single parent. Luckily I didn’t go down the depression track but there were times where my head just would not stop with constant thoughts and taking me into doubting myself and being able to cope. Thank-fully I was stronger than I thought and pulled through quite well in the end. Now when I get too heady and think too much, the gentle breath meditation can work, or I simply stop myself and move really gently and with presence and this really works well to bring me back to me.
Thank you Jo for sharing all that you have, there is such a rise in depression across the globe. To be able to really let go of depression and to come back to living a life that is joyful and purposeful, is really what you have experienced and what is needed for many to read, that it is possible.
Being aware of and dealing with depression can be very debilitating. But when we re-learn choices that are loving and supportive for ourselves, it is only then can we turn the table around on what depression is and what it can feel like in our bodies and in our life.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine doesn’t try to fix or tell us/me what to do. What is presented is for me to discern whether it is true or not. How does it feel in my body? It then becomes real, undeniably and unquestionably felt and then it is down to me what I do with it – listen and take heed or dismiss it.
That is an amazing journey you have been on and continue to unfold of course. To be in that much emotional and physical pain and find your way out of thoughts that can feel as if they own you and are you is remarkable.
Amazing to read about how you’ve turned your symptoms and life around Jo, just by making different choices to connect to your body and live from there. I’ve found that the more I build this connection to my body, by paying attention to how and what I’m feeing, the simpler and easier life flows. There’s less complication, no issues to work through, just the simplicity of what is needed in each moment.
To not be at the mercy of the ups and downs of our own and others emotions is the greatest liberation I have experienced and this I have learned from Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine.
How beautiful to discover that you weren’t broken at all – all you needed was to be shown the way back to appreciating the real and whole you with the simple tools of self-care and self-love.
Let us never close our eyes as we will miss the majesty in what every moment brings. After all, how can we blame when we can’t find something true when we walk around in life with our eyes closed.
Wow! What a wonder-full way you have shared the truth that I have also found from the presentations by Serge Benhayon. The key is being consistent in my approach to healing, as my body has many issues and if I do not continue to bring a focus to the next level of healing then those old patterns return.
Reading the last paragraph made me smile – really feeling the joy in your words
Well done Jo, such a turn around using the simple self loving tools to reconnect to yourself and remember who you are. So empowering, self empowerment.
Your blog is very inspiring to read Jo, wonderful to read and feel you appreciating yourself and the choices you have made, this is awesome;
“I now feel more empowered and able to discern what is good for me and make supportive choices. This has changed everything about my life and it all comes from me”.
Jo,
I too always knew that I was living but a shadow of the life that is mine to live. Also feeling not good enough, and wanting to please others so that I would be accepted. Through choosing to be a student of Universal Medicine, I am now living my life, how I want to live it and each day even more of me emerges. Depression is a world wide epidemic and your sharing shows that it does not need to be.
It is so awesome to hear about the change in you Jo, you are an amazing women and you so deserve to feel this!
This is incredible to read because so many people choose to believe they have to live with depression for life, and often think that’s the case, that it’s something to manage, but that’s not the truth, it’s a choice. And by our choices we can choose to not have this. The greatest freedom in this world is knowing we have a choice.
I can relate to taking other peoples and the worlds sadness on, but in no true way does this help anyone. It’s important to clock and really appreciate how much we care about people – but it’s actually really imposing and almost self indulgent to live this way. People can’t feel the truth of what’s going on for them if we are emotionally involved, we’re almost entangled in it all.
‘I’m working on not undermining my integrity by comparing myself to anyone else.” this is a very incredible and beautiful line to read – comparison is a killer in more ways than one, It destroys our light, and also our body from the inside out. It is one of the most evil and detrimental emotions to allow. To choose comparison is to choose to destroy ourselves. Unless you clock it and use this awareness in a good way, of okay I am inspired by that person to change my life…
‘…was me missing myself’ – this is so true and I can very much relate to this.
How huge is it to say you “always felt broken”, but now no longer feel that way. That is an absolute miracle.
Jo your story is an amazing account of how Universal Medicine and their therapies offers amazing support. There are people all over the world experiencing similar symptoms, so the potential for people to be truly supported by Universal Medicine and to possibly also recover is immense. I have also turned around my life (and continue to do so) with the loving support of Universal Medicine. I hope you will write again Jo, it would be great to read a follow up.
Yes Melinda a follow up would be great! The healing that Jo shares is also true for me on many levels and I am still working on some issues. For me true healing is a continuing focus so the issues that were there that caused the illness can no longer return.
“Now, for the first time in my adult life, I feel that I am OK and that I am really learning to take loving care of myself. I am more and more able to just be myself. I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!.” Thankyou for sharing your story Jo. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I have learned that we are all amazing deep inside – that we just have to uncover the what we are not – that has overlain our beauty. We mostly start out as shining babies. It feels so tragic that life does its best to damp this down. But its never too late. Taking responsibility for our life and its patterns can turn so many things around.
This was great to read Jo. Especially that a life of depression can be turned around, by looking at what you are taking on in life, your hurts and what is draining you. The difference was well noted by how you no longer require chiropractic support, and have 90% less symptoms with 1 healing session a year! That speaks volumes.
“…for example, the fact that the practitioners often seemed extremely drained, stressed, unloving or outright sickly..” That’s an interesting one isn’t it. We have health professions sharing advice which they do not follow. Not taking a dig at them or anything, cause they’re in the same boat as everyone else, it just shows the state of the world we are in when this is the reality.
What I find profound with what Serge presents is that it is nothing new, it is just simple common sense. Sometimes he presents things we may not have considered much before but it just makes sense! And it can be felt so strongly in the body as a truth unlike so many other things. Then to live it, only confirms that what he is saying is indeed the fact.
Beautiful. This story shows the difference between taking responsibility to heal yourself with the support of Esoteric Practitioners and seeking a cure or a fix for someone else to do it for us.
Using the Gentle Breath Meditation is a great way to bring awareness back to the body, and bring a stop to the momentum we sometimes find ourselves in.
‘I felt confused and didn’t know how to live my life. I felt so off track, so lost from myself. I kept saying to myself, “I want to know Truth”.’ Jo these words reminded me how through Serge Benhayon and the presentations of Universal Medicine, life made so much more sense and how I had spent the majority of my life avoiding the truth.
Long term depression usually falls into the category of being unable to manage; your story is a positive testament on the power of the healing modalities and practical lifestyle tips that Universal Medicine present.
Brilliant Jo – Yes, continuously ‘sifting through the muddy parts’ is so different to truthfully looking at what we need to change in our lives, but always knowing ourselves to be, first and foremost, divine love.
‘…what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal.’ This awareness is the key to most of our ill health Jo and I feel I knew it all along, just had not understood how to access and express this truth until I met Serge Benhayon!
I really appreciate what you share here about depression and understanding how much exhaustion is part of it. The apologising for for being you, the trying to save others, the constant searching for meaning. The drain on the kidneys is enormous and makes sense when it is felt. The simplicity of the way Serge Benhayon works is what was the point of difference for me. He didn’t tell me or try and hook me in, he needed nothing from me but for me to enjoy being me. A breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing your story Jo.
On exhaustion – it totally makes sense that an exhausted, depleted body is not going to equal a wholesome, vital person who is loving life. And when we’re exhausted it makes it much harder to say no to depressive, heavy thoughts. Building our body through deeply looking after it, focusing on staying aware of what we’re feeling, and learning to listen to our body’s messages and that quiet, inner voice, starts to slowly turn this around.
Great to read your blog Jo. I have been a “victim” of depression on and off over a period of about 10years , and like you I have turned this around and now know that I am appreciating more and more the love that I am and not looking outside of myself for confirmation but instead valuing my innermost voice and taking responsibility for my decisions . I have had some wonderful help from Universal Medicine Practitioners and especially Serge Benhayon’s Presentations. Life is about what we make it.
Hi Jo I enjoyed the article, its a positive testament on the power and truth of the healing modalities and practical lifestyle tips that Universal Medicine present
Wow the profundity of what you are saying here is massive, 33 years out of 40 struggling with depression and lack of self worth to knowing there is nothing wrong with you. There are billions of people in the world who would benefit from hearing your story – it’s so wholesome and heart-warming.
It is profound and putting it like that is quite shocking. So many people think and are led to believe there is something wrong with them when there is not. We are all born as the amazing loving beings which we are and can in any moment choose to live this love in full without needing to be anything for anyone and when we do this suddenly we are then there in full for everyone! I agree that everyone would benefit from reading your story.
What a huge realization it is to understand that our suffering comes from being separated from ourselves and as a consequence of this we miss that connection not only with ourselves but with God. It makes sense then that true healing can occur when we re-connect with ourselves.
It is inspiring to read Jo how you never gave into your long term battle with depression but continued to seek the key to unlock the hold it had on you which eventually did occur when you came upon Universal Medicine and began making more loving choices for yourself.
This is a great sharing Jo thank you. Having been (and still get hooked into being) a sympathiser in my life I know how poisonous and exhausting this behaviour is for the body. Once we are exhausted and not living from our true kidney energy we are much more susceptible to bringing in more harming behaviours which then affect the body detrimentally even more. So awesome to change this cycle to one of healing and expansion.
There is great simplicity in this, that a long term chronic case can be turned around by choosing something so simple as gentle breathing and connecting back to our essence.
This is beautiful ingrid. A real recipe for living our lives with Love and Appreciation.
Jo, I really loved reading your story of transformation. For me I feel there is no mistake that after a long time searching, true healing was found through coming to Universal Medicine.
Jo I loved your sharing, in schools now depression is reaching an all time high, and it is really important for those who have had depression to share their experiences and encourage others that there is a different more loving way to live.
Jo this is amazing and lovely to read how you have managed to turn your life around making different loving choices.
One of the most fundamental principles we can reflect to our children is that of honouring what we feel and being encouraged to express this openly and honestly – and yet sadly it is rare for a child to grow up fully supported in this way. so many grow up feeling broken, not right, different from others, unable to express, burying hurt, anger and sadness. I sometimes wonder how we get to the state of affairs that people will take a gun and kill other people, and themselves, and wonder if maybe we had learned from childhood to be able to openly express what we are feeling and be supported and heard, this situation would have less opportunity to develop.
Thank you for sharing your unfolding path so openly
Reading this today Jo all of the ways you have become self-aware stood out, that is to say, you have understood and taken responsibility for the behaviours that were contributing to your depression. The behaviours that you stopped seem just as important, if not more, than the new supportive behaviours.
Thank you Jo for sharing with such honesty. Depression is extremely common in our world today and despite the benefits offered by pharmacology, people are often still struggling with the impact of the illness for years. Your story gives a whole other side to the illness which isn’t taught to the health profession, let alone to the individuals involved so the situation become more entrenched and seemingly something that have to be managed rather than healed through a completely different way of looking at it. Clearly making the commitment to honestly looking deep within has had a huge and positive impact which offers a lot of inspiration to many who know you, including health professionals who would no doubt be astounded by your recovery.
There is so much in what you have shared Jo. But what stands out is “The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me understand that what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal”. The teachings of Serge Benhayon present about responsibility, that we are love and we miss that with every ounce of our being. We feel a loss and that is the hurt we run with, this can manifest in us all in different ways, depression is one of those. Loved what you have shared, could relate to a great deal.
Thank you for sharing your journey to truth Jo. This is an amazing turnaround, a testimony to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and a credit to yourself for being willing to open up and change what wasn’t serving you.
“I want to know truth”, well you have found it in Universal Medicine. Thanks Jo
Beautiful sharing Danna, I can relate to a lot of what you have said around the fact there is another way. With the support of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and practitioners, I have transformed my life from one of depressive thoughts, anxiety, ‘being nice’, not committed to life, my job, myself, to one of deep love and self honouring. A huge transformation that is, as you say, a truth for all.
I can not imagine any other way then the absolute life change I had made because of Universal Medicine. This is so true and this has changed my life in such beautiful & rich way, that I would recommend it to all, and know that this way of the livingness is actually for all, and works for hundreds of people with different ages, nationatilies, cultures, behaviors, issues, ilness and disease, gene etc.etc.etc. Love is for all- It is The Way of The Livingness (our return to our innermost). I am loving it to be a student of this religion, our new religion – love is our way.
Wow Jo what an amazing turnaround you have had with healing your depression to now making loving choices that support you. It is always a joy and a confirmation to read how the true love and care offered by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon can support people to truly heal any ill condition that holds them back from being whom they really are.
Worthy of a highlight all of its own is what you say about the importance of learning to be compassionate instead of sympathetic towards another’s suffering. It is far more helpful to develop true compassion rather than enjoin with another in their problem through sympathy. That’s just a recipe for taking on other people’s pain. As you say, it’s about trusting that others are learning what they need to develop. We don’t need to dip ourselves in it too, but just understand where an individual is at and support them with and through our own consistency.
A beautiful and inspiring account of how you have turned your life around Jo, thank you for sharing. “I had been trying to help people and do things to feel needed and receive acceptance from others, but I had not been offering loving attention and acceptance to myself, and that was not working!” I was caught in this same awful cycle, self-loving choices and responsibility turn this around as you have proved.
Jo your transformation is remarkable. From lying on the floor unable to move to becoming an active and vibrant person that you innately are and committing to life once again is extraordinary.
Thank you Jo you could be writing about me: ‘As I develop true compassion; learn not to take on other people’s pain and to trust others to be learning what they need, my kidneys and lower back have been steadily improving’. Learning the difference between sympathy and compassion has been key for me to healing my exhaustion and lower back issues and trusting that others are on their own path and don’t need me arrogantly interfering in their lives in a vain distraction away from my self inflicted pain of missing me. Totally inspiring that you have healed your life long depression and something that needs to be shared widely in these times of ever increasing amounts of mental health illness.
‘The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me understand that what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal.’ This so lovingly reveals our own responsibility in our understanding of depression.
Serge Benhayon simply says in Book 7 Page 606
‘The root of all depression comes from an exhausted body”.
Could it be possible that Jo Billings applied the teachings of Serge Benhayon and addressed her exhaustion which then led to her no longer craving sugar after 25 years?
Possible?
The BBC news headlines last week was about taxing Sugar as they are seeing the harm and my question is – Will sugar tax change anything really?
For now lets just get a reality check of what is going on –
I was in a store yesterday that predominately sells clothes at discount prices so super busy. The lines to the check out both sides were FULL of sweets, chocolates, candy bars of every colour and jars so big you need a trolley to get them home. I made it my business to read ingredients on some random candy jars and packets. ALL had sugar and glucose syrup as first and second ingredient then numbers and colourings.
What is that telling us?
What is Serge Benhayon presenting to us?
I was a sugarholic all my life. It changed once I met Serge Benhayon and got the tools to address my exhaustion.
So could it be possible that if we deal with our exhaustion we may not crave the sugar?
Possible?
Another great testimony to the literally life-changing results that Universal Medicine has inspired in hundreds of people around the globe. As you say – and most importantly – ‘it all comes from me’. No doctrine, dogma or 5 point plan. Just a stronger connection with our own body and making choices that support its vitality and purpose.
‘No doctrine, dogma or 5 point plan. Just a stronger connection with our own body and making choices that support its vitality and purpose.’ Yes Cathy the simplicity of this is amazing and needs to be widely shared to allow others the opportunity to choose to heal for themselves.
As women who overload themselves with commitments we are sometimes advised that “you have to learn to say no”. I got this a on physical level but it has taken me a lot longer to learn to say no to being distracted by other peoples “stuff” and to say no to anything that interferes with my connection. I have learnt that I can have a very full life and not be exhausted or run down as long as I say no to letting anything interfere with my connection.
Taking on other peoples sadness and issues is one of the most debilitating things we can do to ourselves. It is deeply draining and we run with something weighing us down that we cannot resolve because it wasn’t even ours in the first place. When we can hold steady and be with another without taking on their sadness/grief then not only does it support us, but it is also the only true support we can bring to the other person, as they then have a marker for something they can bring themselves to, rather than us enjoining them in their misery, as then they have nowhere to go to get out of it. So what I am beginning to learn, is first to understand why I go into sympathy, and why I let anothers woes become my own, becuase there must be an opening in me to allow that to happen,.Healing this means I will be in far better shape to be able to truly support another.
I agree Cathy. I hadn’t considered how draining it could be to go into sympathy with others.
Jo, you have described here something that is so common and yet very few talk about the details of depression … and we should be talking about it. Your blog has been extremely supportive to me, and I shall read it again for the little gems that you have mentioned.
An amazing story Jo and a very needed sharing, the world needs more of these stories told as there is a lot of suffering, depression and loneliness in the world. The choices you made to transform your life can provide the stepping stones for another.
You are a living example how to completely change your way in life, trough choosing you over others. Very beautiful and inspiring.
So often we try to fix the things outside of ourselves as a ‘solution’ to how we feel on the inside, when your sharing here Jo clearly shows that by taking care of ourselves on the inside, the outside then reflects that quality – so the ageless wisdom “as above, so below” goes.
Thank you for sharing so openly Jo. Depression, anxiety and self worth issues are extremely prevalent in society, and I am sure the many people would like to know how you made the changes to a loving life.
I also have a history of lower back and kidney pain. With the help of an Esoteric Medicine Practitioner I came to understand that by putting other people first, and giving my power away I was depleting my life force, and always felt drained and tired. Understanding the direct connection of how I was living to what was happening in my body was a bit unusual but it made sense, and it worked. When I stood up for myself and claimed what is right for me I no longer felt the depletion.
Bernard, What I experienced and what you also describe here about making changes in our personal way of doing things which have reversed low back & kidney pain is incredible.
Re gaining a true understanding the body and how we are running ourselves is key to unlocking all our issues and I have not found presented anywhere else this simple and effective understanding to mankind. We are all hurting and it is time for the self honesty that Universal Medicine can bring to us all.
‘I feel for the first time that I am Living my life, not just existing and surviving’. I know exactly what you mean Jo. Since I started to build this loving relationship with myself my life has gradually taken a huge turn for the better.
This is a beautiful testament to both yourself and to Esoteric Healing and is a real inspiration for everyone. Thank you Jo for sharing this and the miracle you have changed you life around to. Simply caring for ourselves in a true loving way has amazing benefits for us all.The gifts offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to humanity are really true and life changing.
Actually developing compassion is one key to learn to love again.
By ‘Using simple tools such as breathing gently and learning to honour myself by not overriding what I know I need to do or say, I feel for the first time that I am Living my life, not just existing and surviving’. This is so beautiful and so inspiring Jo and a far cry from the depths and despair of depression.
‘One of the courses I took from Serge (later) really helped me move with this. I can be compassionate instead of sympathetic.’
This sentence Jo, rings true in my ears. As I am an extremely sympathetic person myself developing compassion is a way to keep one’s power instead of giving it away.
Jo, your blog is an awesome inspiration to many that may be suffering from anxiety and depression. I have had periods in my life when I have suffered from anxiety and felt so alone. It is with the help and support of Universal Medicine and the esoteric modalities that have helped my realise who I am, and what potential I hold in my body. It is all about making loving choices, and you are an example of someone who has made these choices for yourself and come through the other end shining!
Thank you for the confirmation Sandrahenden,
It is a great joy for me to know that I can be an inspiration for others to heal from depression by sharing how what Serge presents has truly supported me to start healing.
I know this work is true and that with a real desire for honesty and truth it can melt ANY and ALL issues that we carry; NOT by bringing in solutions to symptoms but through self empowerment and self love and so change comes from learning to live in a deeply healing and self nurturing way.
What a beautiful, loving and powerful transformation you have experienced Jo since being introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. There definitely must be something worth investigating for all to see and know.
Thank you for sharing this Jo. It is clear to me that Serge Benhayon has a deeper understanding of the true cause of depression. Coming back to myself and going within rather than seeking outwardly has been deeply healing for me too. How beautifully simple it is to know that our true essence is all that we need in life to stop existing and start living!
Thank you Jo for this wonderfull blog. It is so strange that we try to convince ourselves that neglecting ourselves and just making it about others could be “good” and supportive. How should we know how to truly support others if we are not able and willing to support ourselves first.
This approach feels like trying to build a house on sand without a solid foundation.
Thank you Universal Medicine for showing a different approach.
This is such a touching sharing your your life Jo, thank you. I can relate to a lot of what you share, the exhaustion, poor choice in men, food choices, the sadness and searching outside. It highlights to me just how much of the population also experiences them but props themselves up with distraction and entertainment as I once did. A great inspiration that there is another way and thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine many have been inspired to lead their own way and take responsibility for their own lives.
Thank you for sharing your story Jo, I can relate to much of what you have shared, I also experienced many years of depression, not even realising I was depressed. I thought that was just how life was and would continue to be, until I met Serge Benhayon, and started to attend Universal Medicine. Like yourself I have completely turned my life around. Depression is not a life sentence and not an illness that can only be managed. No matter how long one has been in depression there is a way back, a way back to a truly fulfilled and joy-full life.
Thank you very much for sharing your story with such honesty and openness. “I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!” – I am deeply touched by this. Me, too – there’s nothing else I want to do.
Your words are so beautiful to me Ingrid…knowing that you and others have felt as broken as I felt but that there is a way to come out of that and feel the love of who we are…I feel such support. We are doing it finally!
Thank you Jo for sharing your discovery. I too have suffered with depression and know your story well. What Serge Benhayon presents in workshops and in his books is the tools to connect back to yourself, to love every particle of your being as it is the expression of God. We matter and we have a purpose. There is something to celebrate in this. The joy of who we are.
Beautiful Jo, it is an amazing story, how from existing you went to truly living.
Truly remarkable turnaround Jo, thanks for sharing. In your words, “I want to know Truth”.
I love how when we are willing and prepared to do the work necessary, miracles can and do happen, life constellates to support us to re-connect to the truth again. Universal Medicine has offered this gateway for so many of us.
I like the way you call Universal Medicine the ‘gateway’ to the truth of what life is about, and I must agree, they are opening up a way of living that so many are looking for. I had tried several ‘false gateways’ but found this one to be true and the beauty of it is that this gateway is open for anyone to enter.
“life constellates to support us to re-connect to the truth again.” I feel this too Victoria, how all is there for our evolution (advancement). Life is full of reflections that we can choose to either work with for our evolution or fight against and delay our returning to truth.
Yes, how powerful then are our choices? I was just pausing for a moment to truly feel how although it is seemingly obvious we may still go about choosing many things that do not truly support us on our return.
That’s a Beautiful sharing. How powerful is the listening and honouring of ourselves. Rather than being responsible for and in sympathy with others. I’ve found that there is actually no space for others when I do not accept them for who they are. And what do I want for myself, SPACE. Space to be me, space to honour me, space to express me. How important is it than to start looking at ourselves what it is that we can’t give others the space? I’m getting to understand and accept that the space I’m allowing others is actually the space (and trust) that I’m allowing myself. True space is felt from the body and not done with the head (as I used to think). Thank you Jo.
Thank you Floris, I am really aware lately of how I have not given myself or others space…it is so important to understand WHY this is, so I can learn. For me as well, it is about not accepting myself or others and so I TRY hard to ‘fix myself or them. With honesty I am starting to break this pattern… finally!
So true Floris, I am guilty of being in sympathy with others and it feels imposing as it is sending a message that they shouldn’t be where they are, in other words, not giving them the space to be where they need to be in order for them to grow and work through whatever it is they are going through in their own timing. It is actually very arrogant and highlights that I’m needing them to be a specific way.
Thank you Jo for sharing, what stood out for me in the beginning of the blog was the length of time you were depressed and that nothing you tried could elevate your symptoms, and to go from that to where you are now is truly amazing indeed.
What a miracle Jo, to have gone from what you were living for so long to where you are now. Thank you for sharing with such openness and honesty.
It was lovely to read Jo how you turned depression,anxiety and self worth issues on their heads by accepting and appreciating yourself for who you truly are. Being Love is all that is needed.
Thank you for sharing Jo. Reading your story I could feel that it would relate to many. Its amazing that we are never shown how to truly live or how to truly heal our hurts when we are young – hardly anyone really knows how to and this is so pivotal to our world getting out of the mess we now find ourselves in. The blessing is that Serge Benhayon knows, now many know as we embrace the healing that was always possible.
Jo this is such a beautiful and honest sharing, the way you have turned your life around is truly amazing. When we take steps to truly self-care and love ourselves we begin to heal many things that has held us back for so long. Very inspiring thank you.
Amazing to read your experience Jo and feel how much your life has changed, in accepting you. Beautiful how you distilled your illness down to a case of “me missing myself”. This seems to me to be a huge disease we are as humanity suffering from.
It is no small thing to make the kind of life changes you have made Jo. It is so inspiring to feel the love of someone committed to honouring them self, thank you for this.
I can relate to so much of what you have shared Jo, life for me was full of angst, self doubt and anxiety from a very early age. This truly did not change until i also came upon an esoteric practitioner and began attending courses from Universal Medicine. Through learning to connect with myself and really listening to me, was i able to turn my life around. Being aware of the thoughts that come in and knowing they are just not true, being disciplined about that also, not believing them, cause in the past i just would. Not anymore.
So Beautiful to read Jo, it is amazing how when we choose to connect to the love we are deep within, can bring changes our lives.
This is the effect that Self Care can have, its truly an incredible story Jo, of your journey and a miraculous turn around in your well being, great to read.
“to trust others to be learning what they need,” how awesome is this and takes away all need – I actually feel Joy. We are not here to fix people, be compassionate yes, but have that understanding that we are all here to learn. What may be true for another to experience may not be needed by someone else. So if in fact we get involved or impose on another’s choices, could it be in truth we are delaying their evolution. No thank you to that.
Thanks for sharing. It is possible to change our lives, and thank you so much to Universal Medicine for providing support to those who truly do want to heal and live more lovingly in their life.
After many years of struggling my way through life I finally learned that “it is possible to change our lives”, and that has been made possible for me, and many others, by the wisdom, common sense and practical everyday tools that are offered to us by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. But it is always up to us to make the choice to change, or not.
Jo thanks for sharing your deeply personal story. It is an inspiration for so many to know that there is truly a way to reconnect back to ourselves and live a life filled with joy and purpose.
The more we feel who we really are the more that those reactions to life and others we used to live in get highlighted for the falseness that they truly are. It feels freeing to feel a reaction, behaviour or pattern in my body and say ‘no, that is not me’ because when I do it starts to fall away and all that is left is more feelings of who I am. Thank you Jo.
Thank you Jo for sharing your way back to ‘you’. Re-connecting to you required commitment and consistency. You have shown that the truth you were seeking was always there, within you. A Beautiful and loving unfolding.
Wunderbare Jo. You are a living testimonial that depression can be healed. I have been working with cases of depression within a mental hospital for the past 17 years – and I have never heard about such a wonderful healing. So thank you very much for not holding back what is possible if someone like you is willing to make other lifestyle choices.
Jo this is so beautiful. The strength, confidence and appreciation of the connection that you now hold with your love and your body is truly inspiring. What a powerful turnaround and sharing. And what stood out for me is how our bodies are always signalling to us the path of return, to restore or confirm, to living harmoniously.
Jo, you have made an amazing transition in your life. It shows that if you have truly loving support and have the opportunity to connect back to “you” true healing can take place.
Reading your article Jo I was struck by the enormous impact it had on your life just reading one of Serge Benhayon’s books. It just goes to show that we all know truth when we see and read it.
Oh yes Elizabeth. I remember my first workshop with Serge Benhayon and feeling how much of it felt right- not all made sense and I pushed back a fair bit as well – but my body was going – oh yeah baby, this is the truth.
From reading your story it feels like deep down you always knew there was more to life than what you were experiencing at the time. This is very inspiring for anyone to read who has and is suffering with depression.
Yes Julie, I found it very inspiring how Jo shared that she always felt that there was another way. I can relate to this as I tried many different paths and modalities searching for an answer. I feel now that I’ve come home.
I also Christopher, after ten years of searching all kinds of modalities for the answers I found that I got quite despondent about life, but deep inside I knew there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing. Then one day I just gave up everything that I was involved with and waited for two years and that’s when I found Serge Benhayon after some friends told me about him and I just knew that I had to meet him. So I know what you mean when you say you have come home.
What an amazing change you made Jo. How you have gone from being depressed and on and off antidepressants for 33 years to living a life where you feel your loveliness and make self-honouring choices is just a miracle. The work presented by Serge Benhayon is the way.
This is an incredible story. By current medical standards, a person who has been depressed since early childhood would be considered to be stuck with that for the rest of their life. The best that could be expected would be to try to manage it. Whereas you have shown a way out of long term depression. There is something here to be studied.
Yes, I absolutely agree Fiona. Jo’s story is a living miracle and it is inspirational especially for those suffering with depression. It would be great to have articles like this in our doctors’ surgeries.
Yes Caroline as this is where so many come to question what is going on. Jo’s story is a great example of showing there is another way to live free from the mental traps of depression.
This is a very confirming reminder Fiona, that this kind of long term depression is usually at best “managed” but often life long. I really appreciate how far I have come.
What you say is true Fiona and important to take note of.
Thanks Jo for your writing, I think theres a lot of people world wide who suffer from some sort of depression and how positive is it that you have managed to overcome depression and are now living a loving life, it’s a credit to you and Universal Medicine.
This is such a beautiful sharing of honesty of a very widespread issue, many people suffer from depression and the debilitating impact it has on many lives and often not being able to find a way out of it. What stood out for me in your sharing is that you came to an understand that the truth you were looking for began with you missing you and it was when you came back to you, the healing began. In the healing with the support of Universal Medicine you came to build a loving relationship with yourself. Although I haven’t suffered depression, I understand too, how it has changed my love when I found me, the essence of who I am again by reconnecting and bringing love into my life and making choices that deepened that connection.
Awesome blog Jo, Thank you for sharing the absolute miracle! “I am more and more able to just be myself. I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!”
Jo this is such a profound turn around after 33 years of depression, anxiety and self worth issues. What a truly inspiring story to go from this to now feeling the lovliness of you – just gorgeous and a pleasure to read.
An inspiring read Jo, our body is able to convey so much to us when we take the time to listen, when we build a connection and lived rhythm with it, it is able to tell us even more.
My depression lifted when someone truly met me, with loving eye contact, believed my early life traumas and hurts and allowed me to feel the pain I had locked away.
Transformational and so simple. All it takes is love.
Serge Benhayon shows that love to all equally, hence so many reports of miracles from those who have met him.
Thank you Jo for writing with so much realness. Rather than getting depressed about being depressed, this post makes it simple – depression is just a symptom of missing ourselves, it’s a sadness that comes when we are going about life and not connecting with the natural sweetness that is always there within us – in effect we are sad we are missing out, and it makes depression a beautiful reminder to re-connect. Universal Medicine sure understands illness and disease – not only has Serge Benhayon explained depression he is persistently, continuously and endlessly supporting others to re-connect.
Well said Deanne. Imagine if the world was aware of the cause of depression and what people were truly missing out on – themselves. Universal Medicine is certainly changing the tide on this trend and what they offer is truly remarkable as far as supporting humanity to reconnect to the truth of themselves and teaching self responsibility through learning to self-care and make loving choices for oneself.
Hello Jo, what a simply amazing turn around. This story, your story should be in every major paper and journal around the globe. Your story is huge and I just can’t believe what I am reading. Thank you for sharing this and at some point I would love to see this story told more because it is nothing short of a miracle, 33 years of depression to now where you are and how you see life is just breath taking. Thanks again for letting us know your story.
I agree Ray, this is a stupendous story and keep sharing it…depression is such a prevalent issue in our society and can be very debilitating. This is inspirational and offers a true way so that depression is not just temporary relief but life changing. It would be like drawing the curtains open in a dark room and allowing that warm beautiful sunshine to shine into the room and light up.
From 25 sessions a year at the chiropractor down to two short sessions a year – does that not need to be shouted from roof tops?
I was stopped in my tracks when you described what it was like to read your first book written by Serge Benhayon in contrast to the despair many must feel when they sift through the muddy parts of the thousands of self help books available and visit unwell and sickly practitioners. I have chosen to participate over several years in courses run by Universal Medicine and have trained in several Esoteric Healing Therapies but have been reticent to promote these services. So what stopped me in my tracks as I started to read this post was- ‘do you know what you have got?’ I have heard Serge Benhayon ask this question but until now I was not really looking and feeling how many countless others must be at their wits end and are ready to take responsibility for their life and daily choices and here I am with a God given tool kit. Hmm.
The simplicity of being loving and gentle with oneself and body is deeply transformational- I can feel this in every word you have shared here and know that many others who also want the truth will find it in the ageless wisdom teachings of Serge Benhayon as you and I both have.
33 out of 40 years of depression means that it was confirmed at every single movement in your daily living. Leaving that behind is not such an easy task. The fact that you could is a clear demonstration that understanding what is going on at an energetic level is crucial.
This is great Jo, thank you. As it is written, true healing starts within and its foundation is self-love and self-care.
This is such an amazing turnaround. Like thousands of other people Jo your life has been totally transformed by the ancient wisdom and truth that comes out of Serge and Universal medicine. It must feel so great now, being you after all you have been through.
Amazing. We can take responsibility in our lives and start to accept that we are actually okay, and not take on so much of the worlds burdens, but rather we can understand what they are and offer true compassion. This is a great learning for me, thanks for sharing. I learn about it everyday.
I love this! This is so gentle and so inspiring. Jo you sure have been through such a lot within your life and I feel deeply for the emotional turmoil you endured, and have some similar traits as you did for how you handled people before starting to listen to Serge Benhayon’s audios. I completely honour the changes you’ve made and feel the level of care you now take when checking in with yourself. So much change within one lifetime makes anything possible really, doesn’t it? Thank you again for sharing this.
It was a true revelation and one that I believe saved me from more illness and disease understanding that one can be compassionate instead of sympathetic.
Truly inspiring article Jo, and an awesome testament to the power of love. There is another way out of depression and the world needs to know about it!
I was dealing with depression, drug and alcohol addictions, low self worth, self loathing misery, eating disorders, body image issues, man issues and the list could go on but hey I think that is a good start to what was plaguing me before I met Serge Benhayon…. And now 9 years later having studied with Universal Medicine none of these are an issue, I am by no means perfect, but a true miracle has occurred.
“What I mean is that I am actually able to enjoy myself most of the time in whatever I’m doing. I ‘want’ to do things and I often enjoy connecting with people versus dreading waking up each day and experiencing anxiety around people because of feeling I was representing myself so poorly and unable to fulfill my purpose (of living / being me)…I am handling things much better now instead of feeling desperate about getting by.” I am beginning to have this as my experience also Jo.”
Great blog of understanding and self-knowing Jo, and the importance of getting to know the body and its communication – listening to what it’s saying. Isn’t it amazing when we do this and the miraculous results that can occur as you share here with your story of exhaustion from kidney depletion, and now towards the fullness/vitality of love.
Jo is from the USA where one in 10 people will have an experience of depression in their lives and reportable incidents of depression are increasing by 20 % each year. What Universal Medicine presents , as Jo reports, is nothing short of a miracle, and a story that the world needs
An awesome testimonial of the power of self-love, nurturing and connecting to one’s self. What a truly powerful transformation and so lovely to feel you reclaiming the true you!
“The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me understand that what I was experiencing (my emptiness, depression and suffering), was me missing myself and how to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal.” this is gold Jo and should be know by all healthcare workers in the world.
Your story shows there is a true and lasting way out of depression and suffering and if we only look at the state of those around us it is not hard to understand how much this is needed! With the overwhelm and bankruptcy of the medical and mental health care systems your story should be front page news.
I too have been one to suffer from lower back pain, my reasoning was because of the constant bending over as a bricklayer and the general assumption that all brickies will have a bad back. There is a bit of unknown truth to this assumption because as has been shared there is more to pain than the physical side of things. In general nearly everyone I meet in the building industry is exhausted, or at least tired and this does have an effect on the lower back, kidney area. I can now use my lower back as a gauge to how I am feeling.
Beautiful Jo, thanks for sharing how making some very simple choices has led to some very solid and amazing changes in the way you feel and approach life. Very inspiring, and it shows that just making simple changes and being very honest about where you’re at can make such a huge difference.
You are a living miracle Jo to go from existing to living, remarkable.
I can feel your commitment to how you are now, as you realise how amazing you are.
Jo, what incredible changes you have made in your life. The area that speaks to me is that you used to feel that you were broken, when in fact there was never anything wrong with you. It was only that you had forgotten how to connect to the real you, which is what Serge Benhayon supports each of us to do!
A super inspiring blog Jo – how gaining a deeper insight and understanding into our choices and some simple techniques are truly able to turn around patterns of a lifetime.
“I had not been offering loving attention and acceptance to myself, and that was not working!” How many of us have lived a life not offering loving attention to ourselves. The presentations from Serge Benhayon allowed me to begin to learn slowly to do so and turn my health and life into an amazing experience. Great blog Jo I was never diagnosed with depression but the deep aching sadness that comes with not being in connection to yourself is horrendous so I can only imagine how true depression feels and how beautiful to have turned your life around to one of loving connection with yourself and others.
Your blog is very inspiring – especially when you had depression so severely for so long – I also have been inspired by Serge Benhayon’s gentle teachings on how to live well again – and it is all so simple and natural and what we already knew but boy have so many of us lost sight of this place – Thankyou for sharing your comeback – I am sure there are plenty of depression sufferers who will value this gentle reminder that we just need to look within and stop looking out.
Jo, you describe so well what it is like to live having lost that deeply loving relationship with ourselves. This relationship to me, seems like something we are all meant to have and completely deserve.
Jo what a great article, it’s very inspiring to hear your story and feel how far you have come. The gentle breath is such an amazing and simple tool to use to begin the process of returning to ourselves, the selves we so desperately miss, leading us into all sorts of depression and self abuse. We all essentially know deep within that life is not meant to be sad, heavy and painful, and with the loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we can uncover this true self that awaits within. You have expressed beautifully here Jo, “I am more and more able to just be myself. I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!”
This account is just plain beautiful Jo and an awesome example of how long running ailments can be truly healed, when we get back in touch with our bodies. Thank you for your sharing and Serge Benahyon for showing us the way.
Very beautiful how you brought yourself back to you and realized how you could be compassionate and not sympathetic, that is very inspiring. We don’t need to make people feel better, but it is great to support them to feel who they truly are.
What a gift it is to understand the difference between compassion and sympathy. I know my body appreciates that I now know the difference.
That’s very cool Jo! Very inspiring that you’ve chosen to come back to you, having found out that there was nothing wrong with you in the first place. I still have moments where I think I am a bit NQR (not quite right), but that usually creeps in now when I am in overwhelm or if I’m reacting to being hurt by a situation etc., and I am much quicker now at catching it. It’s such a familiar feeling however, so I find myself sometimes bathing in the comfort of being a bit broken….which If I’m really honest, doesn’t serve me or anyone in any way.
We can all feel the untruth of the way we are currently living but are told from young this is the way it is, this is reality. Therefore we have to deny the truth that we know in every cell of our being. We can then be in constant reaction but trying to not feel or acknowledge what we are actually feeling. It was beautiful to read how simple the changes were that you made to stop draining yourself – detaching and observing people with love rather than going into sympathy, being caring with yourself and trusting your feelings again.
Awesome Jo, I loved how deep down you knew life was not about feeling miserable, and that in fact you were willing to know the truth. It is evidently clear that you have re-connected back to the truth of who you are with the support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. You sum it up beautifully here Jo – “I am more and more able to just be myself. I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!” Thank you Jo.
Inspiring to read Jo, how the teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped you to find the true you, the you you have always felt deep within but were not able to deeply connect with. What a blessing for you and all of us that you have found Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine.
Jo your story is extraordinary, thankyou for sharing. I could really feel how your previous practitioners were focusing on all the issues and that until Universal Medicine, you were supported to focus on you the person – who you were missing so much. I can relate to this and also the kidney issue of drowning in other peoples stuff. I love what you wrote about compassion and trusting others are learning what they need. Very inspiring and supportive blog, I hope you will write again Jo.
I could feel the love and tenderness as I read your blog Jo. Reading your story gives me inspiration to be curious about any pockets in my life where I might be holding myself back and causing myself unnecessary pain. Thank you.
Jo, keep on feeling the love that you are. Your story is inspiring and courageous
“Using simple tools such as breathing gently and learning to honor myself by not overriding what I know I need to do or say, I feel for the first time that I am Living my life, not just existing and surviving” This is awesome Jo.
A beautiful example Jo of how taking responsibility for the choices that we make offers healing on all levels, physically as well as emotionally.
I can so relate when you say you were feeling broken; my kidneys used to also hurt a lot, right through from university until I had a session with Serge Benhayon decades later and then learnt how to look after myself and make more loving choices.
That’s amazing that with your attendance at Universal Medicine you have been able to discover all of this, and even have 90% of your symptoms gone!
The last paragraph say’s it all – “I always felt so broken, like something was wrong with me…[but now] I am beginning to feel a loveliness in who I am. I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life”. The media should be all over this – sharing with the world that there is a way out of depression, that way is Esoteric Healing and The Way of The Livingness as founded by Serge Benhayon.
Very true Danielle. The media should be all over this, it is absolute gold and offers the key to true healing and a life of joy. So many live with depression and don’t even realise and have accepted a lesser way of living as a result. Esoteric Healing and other modalities of Universal Medicine are the only true modalities that offer true healing, that is to treat the whole person and seek to remove the root cause of the issue and not just make it about symptom removal, which clearly doesn’t work and does nothing but glorify the practitioner who is often also living in disarray and a joyless existence themselves.
I totally agree Danielle, that same paragraph stuck a chord in me too, feeling like there was something wrong with me and that I was not living up to how I thought I should be around others and not accepting me for just being me. Esoteric Healing has been an amazing support in my life, and through the Way of Livingness I am coming back to me.
Amazing Jo, this is a great miracle story to read. Inspiring to know that your knowing that there was more to life never completely disappeared. It has filled me with love to feel your dedication to yourself. Great work Jo.
Jo, this is incredible to read and totally inspiring how you have literally turned your life around.
Jo, I can very much relate to the seeking outside yourself. For me it was always trying to bring everything into order and harmony so I could be content within me but it never worked as I was always busy fixing the outside but neglecting myself and thus was never satisfied. Once I started to take more care of myself and gradually took my focus from the outside in to the inside out my symptoms of depression started to disappear.
There is a common saying that those physical symptoms you describe are a result of underlying emotional issues. You have talked about the results that you gained by dealing with those underlying issues, facing and resolving them rather than trying to fix the symptoms themselves, such as the back and kidney pain. This blog also goes to show that complimentary health modalities are needed as conventional medicine alone was not able to support you back to true health.
I can state just like you Jo, that ” I had been trying to help people and do things to feel needed and receive acceptance from others, but I had not been offering loving attention and acceptance to myself, and that was not working!” Everyone who feels depressed would benefit from simple tools like practicing the Gentle Breath Meditation from Serge Benhayon. With this tool I felt for the first time in my life how I could stay with myself and eventually start to make loving choices for myself.
It is so lovely to hear about people’s journey with depression and anxiety and know that I am not alone. But more importantly that, like you, I now know that there is a different way of being that can support me to heal this from the inside out.
This is amazing Jo, lifting the dark cloud of depression and turning yourself around is quite something.
Thank you Jo. Its amazing where your choices to support yourself have taken you, rather than expecting others to fix you. I can relate to your search for truth and said those very words “I want to know Truth” before I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Beautiful honesty Jo,
I feel inspired that you remained steadfast in your impulse to find truth despite the journey it took to get there.
What you share Jo is of great value for anyone who has experienced depression, like a light in the darkness your story can inspire so many others.
Thank you
Thank you Jo for sharing. I can relate to much of what you have expressed as I also suffered depression and emotional and physical pain for many years, and like yourself it was through Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Gentle Breath Meditation that I was able reconnect to myself. This was the beginning of a healing process that has brought me to a place where I no longer experience depression anxiety or pain, emotional or physical, in my life.
Wow, Jo, what an incredible journey you have been on. As I read your blog, your expression felt lighter and lighter as I travelled down the page. It felt to me like a tight little rosebud opening up into a beautiful rose for all to appreciate, especially you appreciating yourself! It is very true that if we apply some very simple first steps (listening to our bodies, applying the Gentle Breath Meditation as presented by Serge Benhayon, being gentle with ourselves) can lead us back to that true connection of love and joy inside of us, which then is reflected back into the world for all to feel.
Jo – this blog is so relatable, I feel most people have felt the exhaustion and sadness you write about at one point or another, I certainly have. I especially love the point you make about trying to do things for others but not looking after yourself. I have played this out in my life also as I thought I had to to do things for others to be a ‘good person’ and to be ‘liked’ or to be ‘loved’. I can now see there is nothing good or nice in doing something for someone else when it is not right for me. It exhausts me and it even has a negative impact on the people I try to please.
Dear Jo, I appreciated the quiet power in which you wrote your story, thank you.
Like you Jo, I had lower back pain as a constant companion in my life and somehow thought that must be normal because whatever I did to help it never worked – and I tried a lot of different methods. With the help of Serge Benhayon I finally understood the reason for this debilitating condition was the way I was living and the choices I was making. My life has changed tremendously for the better and there is absolutely no pain anywhere in my body or my emotional system.
What you have shared Jo is really so amazing and a story that feels very familiar having experienced depression, anxiety and self worth issues in my life too. What you have been able to turn around in your life is truly inspiring and a path I also have traveled through with the work of Universal Medicine. Thank you so much for expressing how you have claimed more of who you truly are.
This is massive what you have shared here, how you have turned your life around; and reading it what I can feel is that it feels true, sensible, practical, tangible and very real. It is lovely to feel how much has changed for you and that you are feeling more you.
What an inspiring (true) story Jo. I can feel the steadiness and simplicity in which you share your story with the world. It felt so uncomplicated when normally stories like this are very complicated. I can relate to much of what you have written because darkness & anxiety played a big part in my life and lots of tears. But by slowly learning to be kind to myself and to heal my hurts, I now an living in such a more loving & tender & powerful way that anxiety does not have as much space in my life anymore. It is not gone yet but its hold on me is much much much less.
Gosh Jo, these words say so much “I felt so off track, so lost from myself.” Been there and got the T-shirt and so have so many, many other people. To go from this statement to this one “I now feel more empowered and able to discern what is good for me and make supportive choices. This has changed everything about my life and it all comes from me.” is a true miracle and one that I too can attest to. How awesome to be able to find your way back to the true you and your power using the gentle breath and learning how to disassociate your self from the woes and pain of others, and to consistently make loving choices instead of poisoning yourself every day. You are a true inspiration and great example of how we can turn around the most dire of situations when we choose to truly love and care for ourselves, as promoted by Universal Medicine and demonstrated by Serge Benhayon.
It was great to read your blog, Jo and so poignant. To make the inner changes as you have done is inspiring. The teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon have also supported me to re-connect to myself in a way that I never previously thought possible. In a similar way to you, I used to feel so “lost” and now I can say with absoluteness that I have “found” myself.
What an inspiration you are Jo. To go from a life full of anxiety to living joyfully and self-lovingly is absolutely incredible.
Yes, ‘so much of ourselves we gave away’ – I am still working on this but I’m very determined to learn to choose only love, as giving out my vitality is no way to live at all!
Such a beautiful recount of your life story so far, Jo. I can feel how open and lovely you really are. It is an amazing testimony to how simply we can turn things around by looking within. Indeed, we are never broken but just missing ourselves. I, too, thank Serge Benhayon’s books, audio, presentations and healing workshops for re-turning me back to me after so many years of constant seeking and blaming the situations and people around me.
I am moved to tears knowing that others have felt this way, too and that we can and are coming home to who we are…and we are so beautiful!
…and what a huge and wide spread misconception that something ‘out there’ might ‘fix’ us or take away the awful empty feeling humans all carry around just under the surface!
It truly is the ‘beggar sitting on a box all his life’ story…and one day someone (Serge) comes by and asks “what’s in the box?”…so the beggar looks in and sees it is full of gold.
What you’ve described Jo is such medicine – not seeking outside for a fix but looking to heal the hurts that get in the way of feeling and staying connected with yourself, thank you for sharing this.
Dear Jo Billings – thank you for sharing your profound story which feels so healing now that you have come back to the real you. The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported so many (including myself) to find the real me and come back to a pure and simple life, that is deeply content.
This blogsite and all the comments I have read so far confirm that this way of living works and your story is huge when you read the impact it had on your body for the majority of your life, and now being almost symptom free. You are a living science Jo and the medics need to study you as there is much to learn.
Absolutely Bina.
It is amazing to feel the changes in my body, mind and heart and to see this in so many others, too. My chiropractor alone would be dumbfounded.
Thank you Jo, as I read your blog I could relate to many of the areas especially the pain in my kidneys that I would often find occurring in my late teens and early twenties. An inspiring turn around to read about and reflect on.
Hi Jo. I can relate to what you write. Especially the part about lower back pain. I used to have horrendous lower back problems from my early 20s and I now hardly every have lower back pain. This is due to dealing with my hurts with the help of the amazing healing modalities and teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I was the only person I knew who complained of kidney pain…it would have been amazing to discover this was a ‘common’ experience and to know what it meant!
Jo this was touching and quite an unbelievable inspiration.
Thank you Oliver, It is amazing to be in a place that can bring inspiration…wow.
Jo, fantastic sharing, it is amazing and inspiring to hear how you’ve turned your life around. Thank you. It’s amazing what simple techniques of true connection such as the Gentle Breath Meditation and listening to and honouring the body can do.
I agree Monica. Absolutely amazing. Thank you Jo for sharing your story.
I never could have imagined the answers to be so simple, so effective nor that the practice of self-honoring could ripple out and bring such huge rewards to so many.
That’s the thing Jo, and what your sharing does, hearing of those simple choices you’ve made just shows how much we inspire each other and it’s just about being us; such an awesome thing.
Thank you Jo, it is awesome to hear how you have changed your life around. In the past I have given my power away in order to “help” others. I realise how crazy this is because unless I am caring for myself I am not fully able to care for another. Your blog is a testament to how we can truly change when we make supportive choices.
Thank you, Samantha:
“Giving to everyone but me” seems to be a very common issue. In doing this we can’t possibly bring any true change to people because no one is feeling/learning what self-love and supportive choices are…
Looking back from a place of self-care, it is obvious that we can’t help in that way and that it is not sustainable!
It is beautiful to find that there is a different way, a true way that we can help.
Thank you Jo for sharing your experience of depression. I can relate to being exhausted and depressed off and on since the age of 18 but would deny that I was depressed, as for me back then, only weak people got depressed or so I thought. I have also been supported by Universal Medicine practitioners to look at things differently, which has resulted in health improvements and an increase in energy. What has made a difference in my life is looking at the things I had given up on.
Good point Julie, there is a stigma about having depression that needs to be broken so that it is discussed more openly.
“What has made a difference in my life is looking at the things I had given up on.”
You make a great point here, Julie.
I had not even acknowledged that I had given up on me in any way until I began working on deeper layers of self-honesty as inspired by Universal Medicine. Thankfully, I have discovered many areas of life where I had withdrawn and given up on me and now I am able to come back and commit to myself and to life more and more fully!
………”to come back to me by not seeking outside for a fix, but looking inside to heal.” …….just beautiful Jo, thank you for an inspiring post with depth and openness
Your story Jo is a great reflection for others to read, to be able to bring about the changes you have after such a long time with the support of Universal Medicine. It shows that there is always the opportunity to make different choices in our lives.
I like that Stephen, “that there is always the opportunity to make different choices in our lives.” When I feel depressed I often forget that, but having tools that I have built into the foundation of my life to remind me, such as the Gentle Breath, are invaluable, as they help me to remember to come back to the loving essence of myself under that depression, and then I can change.
This is an amazing revelation to me. That we ALL do have the opportunity to choose love at any time; that we can, in the darkest dark, dig deep and choose to feel and honor the truth of our loving essential self.
Thank for you sharing Jo and showing that by making simple loving choices and taking responsibility for your life and actions things can change. The before and after photos of students from the Universal Medicine student body help graphically show that you are one of many.
I too suffered from exhaustion, lack of expression and many other things I kept hidden, I was getting through, well struggling my way through life, but since meeting Serge Benhayon I have been inspired and I am now in charge of living my life and taking my own responsibility.
It is so joyful to me to see you and so many others come out of hiding and misery and into their own light; especially knowing what it feels like on either side!
Thank you Jo – It is truly a Joy to see so many of us coming out of hiding and into our light. Reading all the comments is inspiring and shows how possible it is that anyone can turn their lives around – we now have so many examples of people from all walks of life who have.
Jo as I read more and more blogs what I am struck by is how people can heal such illnesses as depression with self loving choices that are super simple. It is amazing and like you said when you read Serge Benhayon’s book it just make sense. So much sense and clearly it is evidence that so many people have cured life long illnesses like depression, asthma, sinus, obesity etc as shown in these blogs.
Yes Vanessa, for so many of us to fully pull out of such deep long term illness and misery, is a real attest to the truthfulness of The Way of the Livingness!
It is heartening to read your blog Jo, of how you have healed yourself from depression inspired by Serge Benhayon’s work and your own choice to be self loving in every way.
I knew somebody, who experienced a severe bi-polar crisis last year, was hospitalised for a while and is now on anti-depressives. The effect of the medication is radical and the person I once knew is no longer present but numbed out of all recognition. Reading your blog, I realise how important it is for me to reflect back to this person what I’m seeing and feeling and also to give them an opportunity to read these beautiful and inspiring blogs. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly and making your remarkable healing journey available to all.
Jo this is an awesome testament to your commitment to change your life around and also to the simple, profound techniques such as the gentle breath, and how the day to day care and honouring of ourselves can dramatically alter the course of our lives.
Wow Jo, I felt called to read this and it’s only by the end I realised who you are, even though I’d read your name! Your unfolding IS an inspiration, especially as I have met you, spent much time with you and have felt the change. Keep blooming GIRL!
Thank you, Shevon. You are a true inspiration to me.
Jo, from feeling “broken as if something was wrong with you” to feeling “ok learning to take loving care of yourself” is a miracle. Your article is inspiring and demonstrates that even when life seems awful, if truth comes our way, there is a deep knowing from within that pulls us towards it or makes us stop and listen a little more closely. You felt truth and are now making choices to live a loving life, you are contributing to all that is loving in this world which is beautiful.
So true Sally, that pulls us to more truth. It’s crazy that us humans spend so much energy trying not to see truth in so many ways. I am in love with it now, I never want to live without feeling it, as it is who we are and it is love!
Thank you for sharing how you have overcome such debilitating depression, Jo, to now be living with purpose and a strong sense of who you truly are. The turnaround you describe is quite remarkable and certainly validates the huge changes that have been made possible, because you chose to accept the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
AMAZING!!!
Thanks Jo, I very much relate to the long journey around and around and around, until we come back to something very simple but true…
Lovely Jo. 🙂
This is so honest and very lovely sharing that will help anyone who reads it for sure.
Thank you Jo. It is amazing how love finds itself i.e. when we are more love, our world reflects more love. Congratulations on finding a partner who reflects that love. I can feel how you are now living naturally who you are. It is so simple when the choice is made… whatever we need to support us with our true direction, we find. I love that you mentioned you were looking for truth and you sifted through all that was not truth for you, until you found what you felt is true. It feels very self directed and empowering.. You choose and have made all the choices to bring you to where you are. It is very joy-full seeing how you have claimed your life back.
Thank you Jasnakim, I love your appreciative words and confidence in love. I was not choosing me for so long but now I am and it does feel SO joy-full! I could never go back!
Jo I really appreciated your clarity of expression especially the message that you came to realise that most of your suffering and pain came from you missing you.
Your account is very moving Jo, and I did not know that depression could set in that early. Mine had started at around the age of 13 to 14 and I clocked up nearly 40 years before I had my first session with Serge Benhayon which proved to be a turning point for me. I also slowly became aware of and learnt about my kidney energy and how I had been giving it away by the truck loads trying desperately to make myself acceptable and save other people from feeling as black and awful as I did. But how can we save others from something that we are in up to our necks? In hindsight, it seems absolutely crazy! Thank you for your honest account, it is very inspiring.
Gabriele, you really express here how and why I had been pouring out my life force when I didn’t have it to give…”…giving it away by the truck loads trying desperately to make myself acceptable and save other people from feeling as black and awful as I did.” !
…and so many of us do this BUT with understanding we can find a healthy way to give.
Jo, thank you for sharing the realisations that have assisted you in turning your life around. The kidneys and their connection to depression tend to be completely overlooked. How many would be helped by discovering this for themselves…
Yes, it will be incredibly helpful when doctors understand that depression comes out of exhaustion and that’s what aching kidney are talking about; depleted energy! I knew something was wrong at age 11, when it felt like knives in my kidneys when trying to sleep.
Thank you Jo, I was touched by your post and the generosity of how you have shared. I was quite struck when you wrote “I began to feel myself, not numbness or sadness or pain” because as you expose that numbness, sadness and pain is not who we are. You also say “I have a sense of purpose in working to re-learn how to live a loving life and I know I’m on my path!” – I too have experienced that I am re-connecting to something I always knew and that my path leads me back to me and not to anywhere outside.