by Harry White, Gold Coast, Australia
My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.
There is a saying that, “The best nights are the ones that you don’t remember”. Well I have had one of those nights before, and if I didn’t remember it, my body certainly made sure that I did with the constant vomiting, headaches, stomach cramps and un-easiness.
Are those big party nights really worth it?
I mean, alcohol is expensive and it makes you do things that you will regret doing, like:
– taking drugs, trying cigarettes,
– lowering your standards and ‘hooking up’ with complete strangers, and
– engaging in behaviours and doing things which are dangerous to yourself and others.
It takes you away from your-self, it gives you a hangover, dulls your senses, kills brain cells and causes undeniable damage to your heart and liver.
As a seventeen year-old young man there is an enormous pressure to go to parties, get wasted and ‘have a good time’ with your mates. I felt this pressure from my school peers and let myself succumb to it. I guess I attended the party to be seen as ‘cool’ and to be accepted by my peer group. I had no interest in drinking alcohol so I played the game of “I’m the designated driver”, but never expressed my true feelings of “No, I don’t want to drink alcohol” from fear of not being accepted. This fear of rejection would get me every time.
More recently I have felt this pressure from friends who ask me if I “want to go out”, meaning go out to pubs or nightclubs and get ‘plastered’. As a young musician, I have played in many pubs and clubs and have experienced first hand what this ‘getting plastered’ may be like; I know I would not like it at all. From behind the drum set I have observed many troublesome things, which have confirmed my feeling that I absolutely do not EVER want to dull and numb myself so much. The thought of being in such a state brings horror to my body and it almost makes me sick.
Now that I have realised that it IS okay and should be considered the ’norm’ to be self-loving and express your true feelings, I have been shining within myself and allowing that shine to emanate outwardly. It is so rewarding to honour your body and your feelings and let them guide the way you live and the choices that you make.
So what IS my kind of Friday night?
My kind of Friday night is one where I can cook dinner with my family and be in their company.
My kind of Friday night is one where I can wind-down with a cup of chamomile tea and be in bed by nine.
One where I can joke around with my sister.
One where I can have a laugh with my Dad about our day.
One where I can give my Mum a foot massage after a big day at work.
Where I can draw some pictures or write about my day.
In my kind of Friday night I can dance joyfully to music without being intoxicated.
My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Harry it was great to read this blog again after spending years of drinking and always looking forward to my weekend. Which began for me on a Thursday, but never the less, it’s all the same. Which ever day you become plastered and don’t know where the rest of your days off have gone to.
Thank goodness my body let go of alcohol, it was becoming so abusive, that a glass of something took longer to remove out of my body, and I’m talking days, not over night anymore.
I don’t miss the alcohol or the associated symptoms and side effects from it anymore. I love my weekdays just as much as my weekends. There are no headaches, or a body recovering from intoxications.
I love my life with no alcohol in my body anymore…
There is no better way of celebrating than being more and more loving with ourselves
Harry reading this brings back memories of how it used to be for me, drinking most weekends, it was the norm to do this and there was an expectation that you needed to fit in with what everyone else was doing. I can recall the silly yet dangerous things I did whilst intoxicated let alone hurt my body.
I too gave up alcohol years ago and interesting how some people feel awkward when they hear you say you don’t drink. Recently a family member commented that I am not fun anymore since I stopped drinking alcohol and other substances. I recall responding that I was still fun, its how they perceived it to be.
It is our perception of how things need to be, and it really comes down to a choice whether we enjoin or not. Nowadays I know what I would like to do, and that is not what has become the norm as my body indicates regularly when it’s not happy. I would rather respond to my body then what everyone else is doing around me.
I observed that when you state you don’t drink anymore, there can be can awkwardness for the other person. Because it highlights to them that you once drank and now you’re responding to the body’s calling. However, when a person says they don’t drink because it’s against their religion, then that is accepted. That reflection isn’t being offered to them then. How do we know that the person who doesn’t drink because of their religion, isn’t doing some other activities which are just as harming on and for the body and is no different to alcohol. Go ponder…
Harry I like your kind of Friday nights and who knows you may be setting a different trend when it will be cool to not go out on a Friday night to get drunk, as there are probably many young people who don’t actually want to do this but go along with the crowd like you did. Just having one person show a different way by claiming the fact they don’t drink can make a huge difference.
I too like my Friday nights and wake up the following morning fresh instead of hungover. We can only show there is another way to live and its okay to be different. How people react or respond is their choice but we can only continue showing there is another way to live, if they so choose to – free will exists with in all of us.
Teenagers today are under so much more peer pressure than teenagers 15-20 years ago and yet the pressures to fit in in some way or another have always been there, only the intensity seems to have increased astronomically. This shows how important it is that we support our teenagers in understanding what they are feeling and confirming them in their qualities.
I have never been able to drink much alcohol – I would feel sick after 1/4 glass of wine or beer and the most I could ever drink was 1/2 glass champagne one new years eve and I swore I would never do it again. What was interesting though was that when I finally had enough courage to tell my friends that I did not want to drink and alcohol anymore, some of them did not want to hang out with me so much – like they felt a little awkward about it. So I changed the way I caught up with them and organised walks on the beach in the morning or lunch catch ups. But I certainly felt like some of the friendships changed which saddened me that they were not that accepting of my choice to not drink. Thankfully I also have many friends who were accepting of my decision to no longer drink alcohol which feels super supportive.
Harry this is a superbly inspiring blog – and I wish I had had it to read when I was younger! I used to attend parties in my late teens and 20’s but could not stand the alcohol – and yet the peer pressure was huge and if you did not drink you were considered a prude or a goodie two shoes or a party pooper etc. So I learned very quickly to accept a bottle of beer but I would go the bathroom and pour it down the sink and fill the beer bottle up with tap water and drink this all evening. This worked till such time that I was corageous enough to say that I did not drink alcohol.
We have heard the term “drug pusher”, but how about “alcohol pusher”? It is quite imposing and as alcohol is a drug that is damaging to the body, it’s really just as serious to try to persuade others. We have made alcohol so normal we don’t question enough this kind of ‘pushing’ behaviour.
When you compare the two kinds of ‘fun’, one making yourself physically sick and not remembering much, placing yourselves or others in danger… or just being yourself, keeping things light, experiencing joy, a richness in relationships, and taking care of your body – well, it’s a distinct difference! Truly, we don’t have to subscribe to the way life is or endorse it, we can be honest and choose a way that is honouring and loving for self and others, and we can do this in every part of life.
Well said Melinda – and the only reason we would abandon the loving kind of fun is because we seek a substitute for love which is recognition and acceptance from our peers. The Antidote to this is to develop a super strong and loving relationship with self so that we never doubt or questions how amazing we are.
Yes, why is it always those who are drinking who try and persuade another to have a drink, to two; this all starts from an early age.
It’s like we do feel some things are not really ok, but we push on through with that choice to turn the volume up so that we cannot hear ourselves any more. We are already feeling the after effect of our choices, we know what’s going to come.
Powerful message Harry.
“In my kind of Friday night I can dance joyfully to music without being intoxicated.”
Of course, so should this be our normal. There is no flood that needs explaining this fact. The more we allow and accept love , the more we will bring.
This is such a great point you raise here Harrison, that regardless of what our minds can remember or tell us or not our body will always reflect the truth of impact of our choices and the degree of harm we cause to ourselves. It is crazy that we have normalised self-abuse to be something that we champion and that getting drunk is even considered to be a form of ‘initiation’ into adulthood. I experienced this when I was young and in my adult life, but never did it offer a deepening of me living with power. I question the purpose of it all as where is the honouring of the being and empowerment in this?
Well said Carola, it is like getting drunk in your teens is seen like a ‘rite of passage’ – and yet it is a passage to the ‘dark side’ where we learn to not look after ourselves and how to set a role model that will inspire others to take the ‘dark side’ too – by ‘dark side’ I am here talking about when a person does not appreciate the amazing qualities they naturally bring and hence they deny them or worse yet depreciate themselves rather than shining as a light, brightly so, in a society that sorely needs the inspiration to appreciate and look after ourselves and step into our true power.
There have been a few articles in the press recently reporting that young people are not drinking
The research, published in the journal BMC Public Health, found more than 25% of young people classed themselves as “non-drinkers”.
University College London’s researchers said the norms around drinking appeared to be changing.
They studied data from the annual health survey for England and found the proportion of 16- to 24-year-olds who do not drink alcohol had increased from 18% in 2005 to 29% in 2015.
It will be interesting to see over the years if this trend increases.
The best nights are those in which you surrender your body to the energy of repose.
That feels like a great choice.
There is dancing without alcohol, and it is a glorious thing to experience.
Freedom in movement… true celebration and so much more.
Yeah! I love this celebration of how you choose to live and how joyful and loving it is, this article reads with a real commitment to life and an appreciation for yourself and those around you and at the time of writing this you are 17 years old. This is inspiring and you are an absolute trail blazer..
Gorgeous and what a great example of how our Friday night can be — in absolute joy and connection. Were alcohol would be the disturber of this greater joy. Love that Harry.
Your sweetness is far too gorgeous to bludgeon with alcohol. It takes a lot of courage to choose what we really want in life as we are faced with the majority who have accepted the sell out as the way life is and even the way life should be.
The thought of a Friday night staying in at home, without ‘doing’ something would have once filled me with dread and I would have considered it so weird – why stay at home when there’s so much fun to be had, so many places I can go to, people I can socialise with? But even then I knew deep down that all of this relentless activity and need to ‘do’ something like throw a dinner party or go dancing was a distraction and something I was using to not feel an emptiness underneath that – or as a reward at the end of a draining week, something to jazz my life up with. What I feel now is an ever-growing sense of steadiness, stillness and consistency with how I am with myself and in my life, and ever-deepening relationships with everyone in my life. There’s no need to fill it with endless stuff because I feel more and more connected to that solid knowing of who I am, and the deep contentment of feeling that that in itself is more than enough – no need to look outside for things to compensate for not feeling that, or try to recreate it in other ways. The things that I do are now more of an extension, an expression, of what I’m already feeling – instead of a substitution for it.
Im loving that a young man such as you Harrison, is loving a Friday night where you enjoy being in the company of those you love, with a cup of Chamomile tea and being in bed by nine, because you so deeply appreciate and honour your body and how you treat it and what you do, will support you to be even more of who you are the following day. This is deeply inspiring.
Partying in a way that smashes the body is so pervasive. I recently observed an alcohol fuelled party that began in the morning and went til late at night, about 12 hours, then the house was completely dead for two days as that is how long the recovery took – to me that is not worth it. True celebration and fun doesn’t have to involve self harm, and we do not have to succumb to what society is doing especially if it’s not common sense.
I love it! In fact that is the way to live every day: in a way that we can build on the loving behaviors from the previous day and deepen our awareness and our love.
I love all the things you do on a Friday night and definitely things that have you wake up fresh and regenerated on Saturday morning ready to enjoy a fulsome weekend.
Having wasted many a brain cell via alcohol abuse into my late 30’s, it is a joyous thing forme to read Harrison’s take on resisting the social pressures to fit in and drink alcohol to ‘have fun’. It sure wasn’t fun for me to get hangovers so bad I wanted to just die, vomit multiple times, crash my new Volkswagen Jetta and lie to my wife about not drinking anymore as I continued to hide it and jeopardize my marriage. Way to go Harrison. You are leading the way for your peers as I am now for mine.
Thank you Michael for your honest sharing here, it exposes the veneer of alcohol as a socially acceptable fun thing, when it’s actually a very dangerous and addictive toxic drug.
My kind of Friday night is taking full account of my body – getting to bed early, celebrating the week by expressing how awesome I was and nominating any concerns, and eating a nurturing meal. It’s actually no different really to every other night.
I feel so blessed that my Friday nights are like yours Harrison, it’s a choice that has enriched my life in many ways.
Very beautiful Harry, to feel your appreciation for you and your way and the deep care you bring to you and others is very inspiring.
Those nights you cannot remember are not easy to forget.
Ha, I love it, so very true, and it shows how very much we fool ourselves.
“My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for” – so simple and so wise, and really exposes the silliness of spending Friday night or any other day or any moment or life as whole without a sense of responsibility and awareness.
The need to dull the body and or get away from life or oneself by altering one´s state of being to feel ‘better’ already comes from being estranged from oneself to a certain degree and hence won´t give much space for wanting to honour one´s body, one´s sensitivity and true needs for intimacy, love, acceptance etc. To make that choice, to turn towards oneself instead of trying to get away deserves to be deeply appreciated.
It pays big to say no to peer pressure and instead choose what we know is our truth.
It’s a beautiful comment Harry and applicable for many situations across every stage of life.
When we complete our day in appreciation of what we have learned and grown from it prepares us so much more lovingly for the coming day.
“It is so rewarding to honour your body and your feelings and let them guide the way you live and the choices that you make.” A lesson offered lovingly by our body but not part of the formal education syllabus.
Harry, I love what you are sharing here. It brings such a true quality to having a good time where enjoying each other and oneself is truly felt and not only in that moment but the next morning too, as it does not involve smashing our bodies nor getting ourselves emotionally wired.
‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’..now what a fabulous slogan. So simple, so perfectly on pointe. This is billboard worthy. Why do we not have campaigns running that support us rather than encourage us to completely annihilate ourselves.
Yes, this makes a very cool slogan, bringing self-love and care back to our lives.
That kind of Friday night, without alcohol and drugs and being part of a supportive daily rhythm, makes sense and honours the body that is after all, always with us.
‘It is so rewarding to honour your body and your feelings and let them guide the way you live and the choices that you make.’ – golden words of wisdom Harry. There is no substitute for just how fulfilling and enriching it feels and is to live in connection to our body and being, as at this point we are at one with everything that we are and in this space there is absolutely nothing else that is needed.
Very gorgeous Harry. The world needs more young people to reflect the love, truth, joy and wisdom we all can feel when reading your words. For if not, we all end up in the same self-destructive soup of existence with no one sober left to pull us out and show us by virtue of their living way that there is another way to be in a world that is not yet set up to support such expression.
Friday Nights, or nights spent in appreciation of the day passed, best give us a restful sleep a renewed love on being awake.
Harry your Friday night sounds great to me, and most of all you will remember it all, as will your family for enjoying quality time spent together.
Your kind of Friday night is my kind of Friday night. One where I wake Saturday in appreciation of my Friday night.
For how we close the day determines not only the quality with which we sleep, but also the quality with which we awake to start it all again. This is the cycle of life we are bound to until we arise back to a way of living that is not lived at great expense to the body and being within it.
This is incredibly sweet, to read about a young man who finds the strength to remain true to himself, and how that self that you have remained true to is so naturally loving.
It is so rewarding to honour your body and feelings, and yes, I agree, ‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’ I love your Friday nights Harry.
What you share Harry is very inspiring and especially considering your age when pressure from peers can be quite intense. A very beautiful way to spend Friday night.
‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for’. I don’t feel like I need to read much further than the first line because it’s so powerful all on it’s own. I love the idea of applying this attitude to every single Night/Day.
I have come to love Friday nights, because of the spaciousness and having no attachments to the next day – imagine bringing this during the week, the body would be truly rested and ready for its next day.
Your Friday night is very loving Harry – I am with you on that. My Friday night is all about holding the quality that I wake up to the next day.
The normalisation of alcohol has been a major damage to our society, the way we relate and consider socialising as well as family situations. The fact is alcohol is not only an un-natural substance for the body it is energetically numbing every part of us when we drink, and is shutting us down. The harm is well beyond physical, it is shutting out those around us and allowing us to accept lesser versions of love, which is a tragedy.
I agree, Harrison, alcohol has been so ‘normalized’ in our society today and is not seen for the poison it is, neither for the huge effects is has on so many levels.
I just love the simplicity of it all – choose a way of living that we would look back later and thank ourselves for.
The first line says it all Harry, ‘my kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for’. If our body knows what’s good for us, shouldn’t this be the answer to our actions?
Your kind of Friday night is my kind of Friday night. Your words and insights on life are inspirational.
I love this Harry. A joyful re-claiming of yourself.
I have found that living like this every day with my wife and family means that there also is not that same desire for holidays as there was in the past. Sure we need our rest days but certainly not to escape from life as we used to.
Yes, how would the world change if we all chose to self-care rather than self-abuse, would it signify the beginning of the end of the abuse of others, and of feeling abused in work relationships and home life? Would it begin the steps towards true relationship and true community, because once we start to hold ourselves in the respect and love that we deserve, we can’t but naturally hold others equally in that same respect and love.
Absolutely agree Harry, we purposely underrate the ongoing effects that the evenings drinking session will have over the next several days, compounded by the attraction to repeating it to not feel the awfulness the body is already experiencing from the previous session. This would be termed insanity or crazy behaviour if we were to observe and study an animal species conducting itself in this way – so where are we that we don’t apply the same observation to ourselves and take steps to truly understand what is going on.
It is absolutely crazy that we need to have an excuse (as I always did use back in the day) that I’m the ‘designated driver’ as that was the only valid reason to not drink ourselves silly at parties. What kind of consciousness holds sway over all of us, that we can’t freely say ‘I don’t drink alcohol’ without getting some kind of reaction back at us.
Harry, I’ve seen you play the drums and I have seen you hang around in other situations, and I can honestly say I have never seen someone drinking have a better time than you on even one occasion. You are living proof that people are more fun, more real, more joyfully committed to life when they are sober.
Your Friday night now, means you are ready for Saturday and when people meet you on that Saturday, that get to see the gorgeous man that you truly are. When they would have met the hungover man on the Saturday, they would have got much less. For me that shows how we use alcohol to hide ourselves away from the world. To not bring all of us to life.
Imagine if we lived with care, fun, and prepared our body every night giving it the rest and regeneration it needs, we would be a truly different society.
There are so many sayings like the one you shared: “The best nights are the ones that you don’t remember” that are easily ‘copied’ when we are growing up without feeling if they are true or not. Like do we really like the nights that we don’t remember most?? It just does not make sense and as you say, after a big night out I would always feel horrible the next day it actually it was never worth it. I now also opt for a lovely night at home doing things I love.
You are absolutely correct Lieke, we are surrounded by so many sayings and familiar ways of doing things it can be hard to know the truth, let alone live it in full, if everyone else we know isn’t.
Every moment we say ‘No’ to abuse (to ourselves) we say ‘Yes’ to love and it is in those moments of comfort where the abuse is regarded as the norm I have to watch myself and make self-loving choices.
Harry you are a beautiful inspiration and support for all men young and old, it was a joy to read your blog.
Yes, Harry is a beautiful inspiration for us all.
Harry you are an absolute inspiration.
WOW!!! Thank you Harry, for being you. I realise this is a few years ago now, but my god! you were 17 and as clear as clear can be. What an absolute breath of fresh air!! I’m blown away!
‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’ And not only Saturday will thank you but we all will, but most of it your body and soul will thank you for choosing what is true and amazingly joyful.
“My kind of Friday night is one where I can wind-down with a cup of chamomile tea and be in bed by nine.” I love these Friday nights too, it is such honouring and loving to just be with self by creating that nurturing space for the body to unwind and surrender and truly rest.
Its nuts to think that getting wasted is ‘having a good time’ I remember those nights when I drank so much that I could not remember any of the night and how I even got home……and I used to call that a great night!!!! And then need to recover all of the next day because I had a whopping headache and hangover from poisoning myself with so much alcohol….yes, I much prefer my evenings spent at home with friends cooking a meal together these days.
Harry greatly inspired with your blog, I love your Friday nights they feel amazing. I absolutely agree Friday nights with family and friends without alcohol is more loving and joyful. Why would we want to put ourselves through intoxicating drinks and feel awful the next day?
There’s always consequences for every action. Such simple wisdom that makes sense all round, yet I didn’t consider it as a possibility for the most part of my life – it really makes me question what had got into me.
Your Friday night is music to my soul Harry and one that is not to different from my own Friday night. Living and loving ourselves brings such joy and simplicity to our lives and leaves us feeling vital and rich. A great way to spend our days and nights. Thank you Harry.
So beautiful Harry, I am deeply inspired by your will and love for yourself. I did succumb to peer pressure when I was your age, it always made me feel awful, enjoining with everyone, not listening to myself, what I truly wanted to do. Instead I got wasted, very drunk and as you call out, would do things whilst drunk that I was not proud or felt very self honouring. So bravo to you, it is amazing what you are sharing here and the awesome reflection you are emanating to many others.
“My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for” – such a great way of summing it up, living life with consideration of how we will feel the next day. It can be all to easy to ‘live in the moment’ or as though you only live once, but in truth all we are doing is being irresponsible and not considering that all our actions have consequences, from what we eat, when we go to bed and what we drink, even what we watch, who we spend time with and how we express all adds up to how we will feel the next day.
So true thanks for sharing. There is living in the moment which can be in a true sense but what I feel you have shared is that we can also allow ourselves to get caught up in a rush of excitement or energy and do something we normally wouldn’t do and call it living in the moment – but turns out to be lacking responsibility.
I agree – true presences in the moment is in consideration of the whole – the whole of the body and therefor the responsibility we have in life. If I chose something in this moment now, it doesn’t stay in this moment but travels with me into the next, and the next. If I choose to take drugs, check out watching a movie, drink, get angry at someone, I cannot just walk away from those moments and leave those choices behind, they will come into the next moment and effect it whether we notice it or not. I guess true presence could be seen as a consideration of this and the integrity to chose wisely and responsibly in every moment, so as to carry it on into the next.
Wow yes this is so true, and whether we notice it or not this is how we get stuck into detrimental patterns, we didn’t first take notice of the effects of what we were doing. And it works both ways, the love and quality of presence we build in one moment can help us in the next.
What a gift you are giving yourself at such a young age – congratulations! To start doing what YOU want to do and not bowing to peer pressure, is a worthy stand. And to start to honour your body and build a relationship with it that is not filled with ups and downs, is one that will stand you in good stead.
This is a great blog Harry, to have this sort of clarity at such a young age will hold you in good stead for the remainder of your life. As well you are a true role model for the younger generation, this is so needed as there is so much pressure to drink and party,
True self love is the new cool, and it certainly is a lot more energising and sustaining choosing behaviours and things for our body which are loving and supporting which creates a rhythm we can depend on and shine the way we naturally do out in the world.
Very very beautiful Harrison, the idea that we can do something now and not pay for it later is such an arrogance we can all have, I know I’ve been there, and it’s not worth it. I love how you describe your Friday night and the words that come up when I read it are love and connection.
Extraordinary … A young man at 17yrs who dances to the beat of his own drum. Introducing a new beat amongst the pressures of the teenage pub partying scene… Pretty awesome Harry!
I love your list of alternate Friday nights to one of excessive drinking… there is no doubt that honouring you and your body… and allowing what you feel to guide you through life should be the norm compared to the former, which without a doubt does not allow you to shine.
This sure breaks a belief! When I used to have Friday nights like that it was as though I wanted to believe they were fun. There were parts I enjoyed but nothing in me loved them.
So essentially we pay to get sick! That’s what we do when we are getting “plastered”. It sounds like you are one of the few Harry who are actually living common sense!
Great way of expressing what we do when we decide to drink “we pay to get sick”!! No common sense here
What is normal for teenagers is actually not normal at all but very harming and we don’t want to feel the devastation we feel as parents/adults but don’t want to feel because we did the same when we were young. I love how you present a true normal Friday evening, enjoying you and your family honouring your body and not falling for the pressure put on you by your peers.
It is true, the party’s aren’t truly fun. And far from self loving. It is our choice to do it differently showing everyone another way.
I love your opening sentence Harry, “My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.”, it encapsulates the care and deep respect we all deserve.
Very awesome Harry, so inspiring and I am with you. It is such a huge consciousness and force to break free from as this is a culture that exists in our society and is considered as ‘normal’, which calls to us to identify with so that we fit in. I too have succumbed to following the party trail, only to find that my body was left regularly screaming with pain and unease from the abuse the following days after. In the end I could not feel the worth of persisting with it and now love listening to and honoring my body. I enjoy waking up in the morning feeling refreshed an ready to live another day and now would never compromise this for anything, as then I would feel like I was missing out on something great – living in connection with me and sharing this with the world.
Awesome to have wrote this as 17 year old young man. Now I look back and reflect on my choices, they were truly loving at that time and now I get the benefits everyday from choosing to look within rather than seek to be recognised by the outer, which is done a lot through peer pressure and drinking.
Harry you are leading the way for all of us. Laying down a foundation for when we come back again – as we all will do – where getting wasted is no longer accepted as ‘normal’ and where a young person choosing to live self-lovingly and simply is appreciated and recognised as being the incredible reflection they are.
Awesome Harry, you are an inspirational young man. It is amazing what you are sharing, showing our young adults what it feels and looks like to love, care and honour ourselves, our body and our choices. The fear of rejection is huge for many of us but when we accept what is possible and not follow the trend of being ‘plastered’ but show others another way. You are hugely supportive for people around you, as they can see how comfortable you are in your own skin, in being you and in choosing not to drink because you care for your body and your health. Our society definitely can do with more and more inspiring young men like you Harry.
“As a seventeen year-old young man there is an enormous pressure to go to parties, get wasted and ‘have a good time’ with your mates”. I can now feel that for me, this is not group pressure as you have shared Harry but an underlying feeling of not being enough or feeling that I was empty of something.
Beautiful Harry, beautiful because you have looked out from a knowing of who you are and how precious your body is and with that have said no to anything that would harm it. What a powerful loving reflection you are to all your friends, family, workmates or strangers that meet you.
Your Friday night sounds like a great night to me too Harry. I went to many parties when I was young but never felt the urge to drink or take drugs. Its funny when I look back because everyone at that time thought I was weird for not drinking, but it felt completely natural for me. Following our own feeling and connection to our bodies is a great way for us to get to know what works and what doesn’t work for the loving care of ourselves. Thank you Harry truly inspiring.
“My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.” What an awesome statment, what an awesome blog. Thank you Harry for daring to be different. Like Michael Brown says above me it is so refreshing to hear from a young man who dares to follow his heart rather than succumb to the peer pressure of modern day life.
Hear, hear Samantha, I absolutely agree. What an inspiring blog and inspiring young man Harry is. The ripple effects of Harry’s loving choices will no doubt be felt by many. Showing us what is possible and how we can be deep in the thick of these pressures from our peers and society and not get sucked into the drinking culture and the disregarding ways.
What a refreshing account from a young man who has simply said “that’s not for me”
Breaking down the stereo-type of ‘being one of the boys’ and thus being seen to be drunk as a good thing, is something that has a cultural tradition that is not just inclusive of alcohol. Many ‘manning-up’ type traditions are taking us away from deeply connecting to the tender loving men we all are. For example when I was young I was told to ‘toughen up and become a man’ or ‘you are the man of the house’, so in some way this meant that I would be different to the tender young boy. I have found being tender and owning up to being a fragile and sensitive man is connecting me to the man that every man is looking for. Many thanks Harry and Serge Benhayon for bringing this opportunity for me to deepen, and this is just a part of my forever unfolding relationship with myself.
Love your Friday night Harry , so beautiful to hear someone so young, speak and live with so much wisdom. A powerful reflection you bring to all ages, thank you .
It should be the norm to be self loving and self Nurturing, we should never let any ideal or belief get in the way of our innermost truth, if we do we can see how that will effect us in our body and from there its a process of recovering and nominating one by one the steps we have chosen to not walk in who we truly are.
Wow Harry you are such an inspirational young man wise beyond your years one could say but we all know wisdom has nothing to do with age.
I love your Friday nights and it would be amazing if more young people would celebrate them like you do. It is wonderful Harry that you are a role model for your mates as normally they do not have someone showing them that there is another way of spending their Friday nights.
Harry, you are an inspiration to all young men. There is a lot of pressure for men around the drinking culture, getting wasted and taking drugs. Its great for men to have solid role models like you, to reflect that we don’t need to abuse our bodies to have a good time and that we don’t need to bow down to peer pressure, instead we can live from within and shine for all to see.
Friday nights have this huge expectation and requirement to reward us for our working week. Like we’ve worked hard – now we party hard. Next day we do nat have any responsibility so what should hold us back – we are free…. But. Your blog Harry makes it quite simple clear that there is responsibility all of the time – and even if my mind does not remember what I’ve done – my body does. And it calls me for responsibility.
For me it seams like the cycle of feeling not amazing in me and my day, but keeping up with this and so deserved a reward, which again does make me feel bad (to be honest) is like we are in a hamster wheel. We run and run but do not get anywhere. To step out of the wheel and see – I do not have to do this and… to become aware: I am not even a hamster, is very much freeing us. Thank God for young people like you Harry who step out of the wheel and show us another, lovingly way. Every day.
Gosh Harry, this line brought me to tears: “My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.” Choose love and it loves you back. So simple. So true. So lovely.
thanks Harry this… And I am guessing, correct me if I’m wrong ☺ but my feeling is that every night is like this for you, because if you are choosing love in the way that you write about, this will be without a doubt reflecting in your everyday life.
Its great to read of a young man making the choices he wants to make, so often we conform to the behaviour of others, and not just as teens, though it is seen and felt strongly at that age. I saw a group of girls at the bus stop yesterday and they all had their hair done in exactly the same way, and I wonder if this is what they really feel or just a look to conform. It is always so much more interesting when we don’t conform and do what we really feel we want to do. In the case of alcohol, I know myself that I didn’t want to drink as a teen but eventually succumbed for all the wrong reasons which makes reading your true choice Harry a joy to read.
So true Stephen, Harry’s choice is a great sharing of how we all hold the reins to our own destiny by having free will! As you have shared, I also succumbed to peer pressure with both drugs and alcohol. In fact even after I knew how I was affected by alcohol I still gave into the pressure of it being normal to drink to make everyone else feel at ease, which I felt would be a benefit to me but of course, it had the opposite effect. That is, it did not feel true in my body and therefore no one got to feel the true me!
“My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.” Love your kind of Friday night Harrison – mine too! A few years ago when I stopped having alcohol in my house someone said to me – ‘do you mean we can’t have any fun?’ I responded we can have fun without any alcohol – and we did – and still do….
Wow Harrison, this is pretty awesome because how many people can claim and be at ease with expressing how they feel regardless of the pressure around them? To see past all the ‘soical’ reasons for being together and actually choose to build a relationship with the body that is supportive of the relationships with others. And for a young guy to share what you have is huge in the world today.
There is much to be said for spending time with loved ones without needing to be intoxicated to do it!
It is inspiring to read about your kind of Friday night Harry. It is even more inspiring to know how young you are and that you have seen through the allure of alcohol and just know that it is not something you choose. Sooner or later it will become the norm to not choose alcohol as we wake up to the detrimental effects that it has individually and as a society.
Harrison, a beautiful Friday night with your family and one you will willingly choose to repeat any day of the week and your body will thank you for every day.
You are a blessing to yourself, your family and to many others. Thank you for sharing a truly beautiful Friday night. No better way to spend it than the way you have shared.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we live everyday in a way that tomorrow thanks us for – such a sweet pondering – thank you.
Very cool Meg, and it’s even more cool when you realise that when we welcome each day based upon the loving and nurturing foundations of the previous day we are constantly building and deepening that love and care for ourselves.
Well said Harrison, your wisdom is deeply felt in this sharing. I love your idea of a Friday night, after spending years abusing my body with alcohol and waking up with terrible hangovers it is absolutely crazy that I even chose this in my life. Giving up alcohol has been one of the most empowering and loving choices I have ever made and my body is forever grateful for this.
I stopped drinking alcohol ten years ago this year and I love my life without it. Truly I do. Some people ask me quizzically ‘why don’t you drink?’ and I want to say to them ‘why do you drink?’ Just because a lot of people do something doesn’t necessarily make it a wise thing to do. Awesome that there are some very wise young men around like Harry to reflect that to others.
Great blog Harry – it makes total sense and calls our choices to account. Why do we choose to fit in and be part of the ‘check out’ activity at the expense of our bodies and how horrific we can feel the next day? It seems absurd and unfortunately is still our normal way of interacting and ‘having fun’. It’s wonderful there are young people like us Harrison who are paving the way for true and lasting fun that doesn’t include wasting or abusing our bodies in the process… bring on the chamomile tea!
Great opening and closing lines! They sum up what’s truly important – and that’s the relationship we have with our bodies and the respect we afford it.
‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’ Totally love these lines too Cathy – Harry has a wonderful way of summing up what is going on with drinking and it’s affects on the body.
Harry, there was such joy in me to read your article that claims your kinda Friday night.
I succumbed to peer pressure and drank alcohol for a period in my late teens and early twenties, but it never felt right and I eventually gave it away.
It is easy for me to not feel pulled to go out to pubs and clubs drinking anymore to fit in.
What remains challenging for me are large family events such as weddings and birthdays where late nights and alcohol are revered as part of the celebration in a very dogged way that suggests to not enjoin or participate is not loving towards one’s family.
Even though I may not drink, compromising myself in other ways to ‘stay up later’, pretend it is all ok and simply blend and be invisible amongst the masses leaves me feeling less and unclaimed in what my true way really is.
Thank you for so clearly claiming what is true for you, and to express this from joy unreservedly rather than hurt and rejection – such a blessing and inspiration to receive.
Love this blog, love that you love your body enough to be willing to care, nurture and be fully responsible for it and your whole being. An inspiring read thank-you Harry. “My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it”.
Reading this blog is one of those golden moments in life, where another possibility is given to either accept or reject, and it doesn’t matter which one we choose because Harry White will still be dancing, cooking, and enjoying his Friday night the way he wants it to be.
What deeply inspires me about this blog is you already know the truth about yourself and you have already made a choice about the quality you want your life to be and become, and you are prepared to stand against the tide. It takes most people a whole lifetime and they still don’t get to this point – it’s truly awe-inspiring.
wow Harry, I reckon you are the guy that so many teens have been waiting to hear from… I’ve been waiting 35 years to hear what you have shared… . You have started a new normal..
You got me at the “Best nights are those you cant remember” It’s such an odd saying yet one I can clearly hear from the past, it’s like some crazy standard that once you go there you have to keep it up and happening all to fuel the notion to fit in, to be liked and accepted the ultimate party goer. The Friday nights you share with us now Harry are those of man who knows who he is.
Harry what a role model you are for everyone young and old, choosing to live life in a simple and joyous way. I love the way you spend Friday nights – if only I had read this when I was your age – I certainly would have been inspired by your loving and true choices.
Your kind of Friday night brought tears to my eyes, Harry. Imagining a young man being with his family, talking to sister, giving his mother foot massage, helping to cook dinner instead of being wasted is something out of my world. And utterly beautiful-that’s why I cry. It gives our world reassurance that eventually we will become ourselves, loving and supportive of each other.
Unusual but exceptional in many… many ways.
Great blog Harry and thank you for shining so brightly as an inspiration to your peers. In the past I have used the designated driver excuse and others to avoid coming out with the truth that I choose not to poison my body and it is only recently that I have spoken up. The other night I collected something that had been mended and the guy said that he had just been to a friend’s birthday celebration and had a glass of wine which was most unusual for him and he could feel the effects in his body which led to an interesting discussion especially when he said he was going back and would probably have another one. I asked why he would override his body and he talked about the pressure from his friends who say that he works too hard and should learn to relax. For me it was not about trying to change his behaviour but being true to myself and offering an alternative view.
“My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.” This introduction says it all Harry. What a wise man you are, and in a world where many young people struggle to know themselves and who they really are, you Harry, are a bright shining light!
Hear hear Samantha.. Harry is an inspiration for a whole new generation, and a couple of the old ones too.
The best nights are those where your body is nourished, nurtured and met. No need for anything crazy to have these, just a simplicity and an absolute open-ness to lots of joy and love… those are my kind of Friday nights and the vitality in the body is so worth it!
I agree Joshua, and how one’s body feels when you wake up the next morning is priceless. Just as each poor choice makes the next poor choice more easily follow, so too do the true choices allow the next true choice to be more freely chosen.
True Annie, each poor choice does not feel good in our body and prompts us to numb the feeling with more of the same poor choices. This is the cycle we can get into, just like there is a cycle with honouring and supporting ourselves where the true choices made support the next true choices etc.
Friday nights sounds better at Harry’s! As someone also in their teen years I can definitely relate to the pressures that are placed by peers, whether they are conscious of it or not… I’m only 15 but near to all my friends are just discovering the so called “wonderful” effects of alcohol, with the need to constantly be intoxicated seeping into our hangouts… And are quickly seeing the negative sides that drinking alcohol entails, however carrying on and continuing to pursue it… It’s become the new (or not so new) normal and those who choose not to conform to the pressures and mirages surrounding the need to drink, are in turn the rebellious ones…
well said Jaya! It seems like a part of growing up, something that tells you “you are one of us now” but the effects that this has on people are clear, and we know how it changes people. Becoming firm in my decision not to drink alcohol was very self loving and extremely self empowering, because it gave me the power to know that I make my own choices, and I don’t have to choose something if it does not feel right for me, even if it is normal or accepted by the masses.
For me Friday nights are like any other nights unless I am working. So to bed early is what I aim for usually.
“I have been shining within myself and allowing that shine to emanate outwardly.” Why and how could we ever consider allowing alcohol to dim, dull, tarnish or darken the purity of such an amazing light? Harry, thank you for loving and nurturing your precious light so others may experience its ever increasing richness and recognise themselves in the reflection of your brilliant shine.
Thankyou. It seemed the most natural thing to do. I couldn’t bear the horribleness that alcohol brought to my body, I much prefer being clear and feeling like myself.
‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for’. Which inspires me to say my kind of Saturday night is one that Sunday will thank me for…. and my kind on Sunday night is one that Monday will thank me for ….and so on throughout the week. If every day we all lived with this intention and quality as foundational to prepare ourselves for what is coming the next day surely this would nourish the health and wellbeing of those that choose to live in this way and as an added bonus would have a profound effect on our poor health statistics that are presently escalating. Awesome Harry – I totally love your blog!
What stands out to me abut your blog Harry is how most teenagers succumb to the peer pressure to drink and party ’til the wee hours, all in total disregard for their bodies, as you wrote. My teenage years of drug and alcohol addiction carried on into my twenties, thirties and beyond. Giving up drinking wasn’t hard, I was never that good at it anyway! But dope was very difficult to quit, as the effects of it are not so obvious and so the reasons to give it up are not as strong. I’m all for your kind of Friday night, every day of the week.
My kind of Friday night is one where I wake up the next morning feeling fantastic and ready for the another cracker of a day… not miserable and nursing a hangover, or regretting what happened the previous night.
Oh, how I wish I had read this when I was 17! I thought getting drunk and behaving irresponsibly was fun for many years that followed, and didn’t know any other way. You are an inspiration, Harry.
Harry I just love your honesty and willingness to say all that as a young man… I can relate in that as a teenage I got drunk once and was so sick for 2 days I swore l’d never do it again, and didn’t. I still went out with friends who drank but generally went home early or drove them… not often mind you as I didn’t enjoy them much once they’d had more than a couple of drinks. I always saw myself as a bit of an outsider because of it, definitely not seeing myself as the normal one, as you clearly do. Well done… it takes courage to stand true to yourself in the face of that sort of peer pressure… and is beautiful to see the shining, bright face we get as a result.
Wow, Harry, it is so amazing to hear this from a young man. Your kind of Friday night sounds so much more joyful than going out and ‘getting plastered’ – so honouring of yourself.
This is gorgeous to read Harry, celebrate yourself every night because your worth it – a beautiful reminder for us all.
Thankyou Anna!
My friday night has not changed. It only gets better and better. Every night is now a celebration, because I am awesome!
I want to get out of it says it all really doesn’t it, we just need to express more fully ‘i don’t like what I feel in my life and I don’t want to take responsibility for this so I want to get out of my body and not feel’ and that is a choice and it has consequences. Simple.
Yes Vanessa, its a vicious spiral downwards as the more we try to bury and avoid the mess we have created, the more complications we bring in and the mess only gets bigger and more unpleasant to face. But the choice to look at everything is the only way we can then take the step to truly heal and free ourselves from the harmful patterns we are stuck in repeating over and over.
Harry you are an inspiration as well as being a delightful guy. Learning to have real fun without destroying yourself in the process is a great start for building a strong foundation for a productive, sustainable, fully present well lived life.
So true Kathleenbaldwin, there are a number of commonplace throwaway lines that refer to this sort of teen behaviour… ‘blowing off steam’, ‘getting it out of their system’. ‘they have to experiment before settling down’ and so on. But your point is great… what sort of foundation is this for a productive, sustainable, fully present well lived life? Perhaps that goes some way towards understanding the rather disastrous state of health, wellbeing and relationships, not to mention escalation of mental health and suicide in our younger generations. There are a lot of serious questions that need asking when it comes to the almost global acceptance of alcohol consumption and it’s contributing impact on us in so many ways.
Absolutely Jenny, If only the young understood the long term damage drugs, alcohol, sugar and any other stimulants has on the body. Not to mention how destructive it is on relationships and the fact that this is the shakey foundation that they are inevitably setting up for their future health and well being. I certainly didn’t think about it at the time and yet I am still paying for the onslaught of abuse that I took upon myself in my youth.
Thank you Harry for sharing your friday night with me, I just love that kind of friday night and the same for all the other nights as well.
I love your kind of Friday night 😄🐬 it sounds amazing and very self-loving. Keep on shining ✨ Also I think this slogan should go with every single alcohol advert ‘It takes you away from your-self, it gives you a hangover, dulls your senses, kills brain cells and causes undeniable damage to your heart and liver.’ Lets be truthfull after all that is exactly what it does .. and worse.
Absolutely Vicky – it already says smoking can kill on cigarette packets so let’s get real about the effects of alcohol.
Hey Harry, I love your kind of Friday night, what a world it would be if this was everyones Friday night.
Harry I would love to join your Friday nights . . .
Very inspiring Harry. You are indeed shining as through your words I feel your brilliance. You truly are a role model for those of your age group and everyone really, in the way you are enjoying choosing to live in honor of you and your body. ‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’ – me too. Beautiful wisdom shared, love it!
I love how you have pointed out that our bodies don’t forget those nights we are suppose to not remember… bring on friday nights at Harry’s 🙂
Awesome blog Harry! So true what you say, it is common to make jokes about the great night out where you don’t remember anything, but it is actually absolutely not true, your body remembers everything and makes you feel this everything every minute of the following day and more to come the older you get. I ended up in my mid thirties being affected by the big night out for up to three days!!! I you truly listen to your body you will never ever drink alcohol, smoke a cigarette or do any kind of drugs as it all feels awful in your body.
What is that trade off that so many of us choose – the something that we are looking for from the intoxication. My own experience is that there is an emptiness I feel can be filled from the outside, by an extreme or intense situation, by other people, by having more of something. But deep down the emptiness comes from within and that is the best place to be looking for full-fillment.
“My kind of Friday night is one where I wake up the next morning feeling fantastic and ready for the another cracker of a day” This is gold Simonwillams8! Love it.
All my nights are considered boring but truely the honouring I feel in my body is anything but boring. My body delights at the attention it gets from the gentle interactions around dinner, and the care and attention with which I take myself to bed. My body loves it and that feels divine.
Very grateful Harry for you openly sharing your lifestyle. I bet your friends are just as divine and fun as you, and I imagine your peers who are going out and doing the alcohol fueled party thing will come to you for support one day and ask you how you did it (live without alcohol in the face of the pressure to not do so). Thank goodness you’re living You 🙂
thanks Suzanne. Thats really lovely to hear 😀
alcohol makes you someone you are not and makes you go back 2 steps which you have to make up for the next day, next week and next month.
What a great Friday night you describe, Harry, and I am sure there are a great many who would prefer this to getting plastered but the pressure of the peer group is too great and not just at the age of 17.
Hands down your Friday nights beats the alcohol fueled alternative, there is just no comparison really. ‘Shining within myself’ made me smile – what a beautiful response from honouring yourself and what you feel. Gorgeous.
Well said Kristy. I dare say that a common response to staying at home with a chamomile tea and in bed by 9 would be: “boring!” But why is more stimulation and entertainment than this needed? Why is taking care of yourself and being with yourself considered so boring? It is a strange picture and belief that has been build around Friday nights.
Yes the norm picture is pretty peculiar when you really think about it and actually is boring in its own right, drinking, falling over, hurting yourself, waking up feeling awful. The fact that I chose that for over a decade leaves me shaking my head in wonder at the pressure to fit into pictures and to have friends at any cost. So so so so so so glad to be free of that.
You offer a very different reflection and perspective for many, be they 17 years old themselves, people who were once 17, or people yet to be 17. Reading this I realise how much as a 17 year old I wanted the Friday nights you now have, but in order to feel like I was part of something I joined in with what everyone else was doing. How many of them wanted something else too? How many actually enjoy getting plastered? The pressure to do it is a strange thing as deep down I don’t feel anybody really wants it.
I never liked Friday nights for all the reasons you gave Harry, the expectation that everything hung around alcohol and the pressure of feeling you had to drink to enjoy yourself. Now my Fridays are like any other day of the week and I don’t need alcohol to enjoy them.
You could be starting a new trend here Harry. I am sure there are lots of young people your age that feel the same way but don’t dare claim it publicly. When I was younger no one spoke about how much they loved their Friday night based on really honouring themselves and their body. This just wasn’t cool.
We should meet up Harry and share a Friday night, I love to play Elvis and dance with it on. In my pyamas…
Yep I confirm it, my friday nights haven changed that much, but they are still just as awesome. I used to think Friday was my favourite day, because it was a day where I could just let loose and be myself, the pressure of the week was gone, but now I have realised that I can have a joyful quality to every night, and I can enjoy the simplicity of these things EVERY day, it has made it more than 10 times better, life just keeps expanding and expanding.
Love it Harry, that’s my kind of friday night too…
it is challenging to many pictures that we have, and may seem like im not letting myself have fun. But i actually enjoy myself a LOT! So that begs me to ask the question, if we need alcohol to have fun, what is it about our everyday life that is not fun? have we lost the ability to just enjoy ourselves simply because we are lovely?
Good question Harry ‘have we lost the ability to just enjoy ourselves simply because we are lovely?’ For so many seem to have lost touch with their true essence and need alcohol to numb themselves from the lack of loveliness in their everyday lives but alcohol only compounds the problem for them and all they come into contact with. Thank you for challenging other people’s pictures in such a fearless way and being a beacon of hope for your peers who have the choice not to go down the road of years of abusing their bodies with all its attendant issues that play out in society currently.
Thank you Helen. I know it seems so rare these days to have a true gathering or even people catching up without alcohol and having a good time. For me personally it wasn’t hard to give up alcohol because I had only had it a couple of times and felt how disgusting it was, my body did not lie. But for some others it may not seem that easy, why I wonder? I think you have said it so well that people get used to needing something to numb and distract them in their lives because every day isn’t spent with their innate loveliness.
Harry, what a great role model you are for your friends and others to see that there is so much more to life than drinking on a Friday night, or any other night and being responsible for your body and how it feels.
I LOVE your friday night :).
did I mention that they get better and better!
Harry, your kind of Friday night is one I could have every night – let’s party!
Love your Friday night Harry! From your words, I can only imagine how numbing it must be observing people openly abusing themselves through countless means. If we are not solidly connected to our bodies it is not hard to be hooked by abuse. More so, if it gets normalised by being around it.
Harry your Friday night sounds like my kind of Friday night. About five years ago I decided that I valued too much how if felt during my day to jeopardise that by drinking alcohol and feeling the after affects the next day. Now my Friday nights consist of being very loving with myself, giving myself the space to wind down after my week, to go to bed early and be fresh for the weekend. Now that is my kind of Friday night.
It’s my kind of Friday night too! There reaches a point when you value how you feel and who you are worth too much to ever wreck it.
Harry, you are an inspiration! It is so encouraging to know that amongst all these teenagers, with the need and peer pressure to be irresponsible, is someone with the courage to stand out and make a difference. Leading the way to a love-filled world – simply amazing.
Harry, what a super post, you bring the truth of joy, and your final line here “My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it”, confirms a deep responsibility as inspiration for others who may otherwise succumb to the modern day norm of alcohol driven/drug induced nights out. When you have love, to compromise on this is not even a question.
I love this Harry because it is so honest, you do not hold back from expressing who you are. As a young woman I too found the whole Friday and Saturday night “going out” thing less than appealing, but I went as that’s what my friends did and I didn’t want to miss out. In truth what I did miss out on was being the real me and connecting to the real them, as afterwards I felt drained, sick, sad and generally quite miserable. It’s been years since I lived this way and for me like you, there is no greater way to spend my Friday and Saturday nights then to be with my family, at home, being me.
Heavenly! It doesn’t get any better than that. The choice to honour the body and in turn feel the love is quite something to behold.
Dear Harry, I love reading your blog, so light and fun – on a big topic affecting so many of us of any age range. I love how you can now claim without fear of not being seen as cool that you choose to not drink, as you prefer to be able to be aware of what is going on, and that you can have so much fun and truly joy-filled moments by just being you – no need to be altered by a chemical reaction. It’s the same for me now; I love not having alcohol in my life, and most of my friends are the same and we have so much true fun just being ourselves too.
I stopped drinking 8 years ago and can’t believe how much time I lost to recovering from Alcohol binges – what a waste – and a welcome hello to my two full days on a weekend, and fresh, focussed sharp Monday mornings – in fact each day is the same in a totally awesome way.
I love that too Nicolesjardin! Thanks for sharing. Feeling sharp, alert and energised for my day all the time is how I like to be, no time or need for feeling down, low, hungover, cloudy which is what alcohol gives us.
The other problem with drinking was the assault on my immune system as well resulting in more colds and flues, infections – my overall health is so much better.
That’s a lovely quality to find in a young man. It is not so common, but when I see it, it’s worth celebrating.
So gorgeous and very tender as you are Harry. It melts me in every word as I can feel the power of another young man expressing in this way.
Yes, I agree Joshua and what very tender and powerful young men you both are!
This is so beautiful and powerful, Harry. Thank you for writing this.
Harry what a great blog. You’ve reminded me of the joys of Friday night and not choosing to drink alcohol. It allows you the time to wake up and appreciate what Saturday brings.
Your blog Harry is so inspiring and gives me hope for the future of young people that I know (such as my Grandchildren) and Teens in general. It seems that in the world today there is so much pressure (as you said) for young people to start drinking alcohol, smoking and drug taking earlier than ever before. If only what you have expressed was able to be shared with all teenagers at high schools etc. it would let them see there is a choice and you can choose to not be part of that “party” lifestyle and still have fun and joy with family and friends. There is an old saying that “it’s so good you should bottle it” and I think your words are just that Harry!
Thank you Roslyn! I too have hope for future generations! The root of the issue is, the essence of people is not really valued from early on but learning is. If people were valued just as much as they were recognise for what they did well then, there would be less need for things like alcohol, drugs etc because their poison will be felt.
Wow is this really a seventeen year old man speaking?! This approach to life and alcohol is rare but makes so much sense. I have certainly come to similar conclusions but much later in life. I don’t think I had the maturity or the dedication to myself at 17 to be able to stand up to the relentless peer and society pressure to enjoin the ridiculous charade that is socially acceptable alcohol consumption. What an inspirational blog.
Great sharing Harry, I love that you have shown there is an alternative to connecting through alcohol. It is a hard stance to take at any age but we have to ask WHY we make people feel uncomfortable for a decision that considers their health a priority. My children certainly asked me that question when I was too dull and groggy the day after a night out to play with them, connect with them or celebrate their deliciousness when they woke me.
Top blog Harry and one that I can relate to. Its inspiring to read that you no longer are succumbing to peer pressure and that you are doing what feels true for you. I love the sound of your ‘friday night’ and that a young man like yourself is taking responsibility. Keep on shining, buddy.
Keep writing Harry… it is fantastic for the world to see there is another way of living. We all have the peer pressure to drink, I am 53 and still find there is immense pressure to drink as part of my job – entertaining clients, and getting on with new workmates who don’t really know me. But like you – all I see is the awfulness of all the consequences of having alcohol in my body. Not a chance that will ever happen.
Your Friday night seems like a lot more fun than some of the Friday nights I used to have. I can also remember being sober in a club and seeing all the stuff kicking off. It was amazing to see the chaos and carnage from the other side, having been intoxicated in the same situation on many an occasion. So I raise a mug of chamomile tea to your life choices, it is great to see a young person not succumbing to peer pressure and damaging the body just to fit it in. Awesome!
What an amazing blog, re-reading it has inspired me to continue to express myself and unleash the power and wisdom that I know is inside of me. I have a lot of potential to reflect to others my age (now 19) that there is another way of going through life and not 1 drop of alcohol or any other form of stimulant is needed.
Yes, absolutely Harry! You rock! You are amazing for just being you.
Such an inspiring blog, I could feel your shinning within me, thank you Harry.
It is such a joy to read about your Friday night Harry, and possibly quite rare for a 17 year old man. I had these lovely images as I read the last few dot points of you dancing, laughing, talking, cooking with your family (not to mention your very blessed mum who gets a foot massage!!!)…refreshing and inspiring Harry.
Harry what a wonderful way to spend a Friday night, it is fascinating that for many, many people ‘letting rip’ on a Friday is now the only way to relieve themselves of the week and how they are living in their days. Bravo for committing and choosing to love your body, it is deeply felt within your words.
Beautifully written Harry. If only I had been able to show similar wisdom in my younger years. Getting wasted as you describe it was a regular occurrence for me, 2-3 times a week. Shutting myself down, escaping, from what? I can see now what I also knew at the time, that I was missing a wonderful opportunity to actually live my live. Looking back on that period of time, I did not live “my” live at all. I lived a life that met people’s expectations of what or who I should be. I knew this, hence the escaping, hiding.
An opportunity is being presented to us all to live our lives, to just be ourselves. How beautiful it is to feel the freedom to do this.
What an opening! ‘My kind of Friday night is the one that Saturday will thank me for.’
How is it that I was able to totally disregard my body based on what I wanted in a certain moment? I used alcohol as a way of washing down worries – and it didn’t matter the ramification of those choices.
Come the next day it was all about ‘poor me – but I have great photos’.
I’d be a sloth, not want to see anyone and eat wayyyy too much. But it is a fact that eating food does not reduce the effect of alcohol in your body. The only way to feel ‘sober’ is to abstain from it until such time as you don’t feel as bad.
I can’t tell you how different my mornings are without alcohol the night before.
I’m me all the time, no ups and downs.
That has been a really lovely way to show myself that those few hours on the drink aren’t worth it.
And I’ll be honest – when I decided to give up alcohol, it was very tough for me – but I now know that a lot of that was because I wasn’t ready to accept myself yet.
I’m just very appreciative to be able to feel the difference when I don’t have it, and make the choice for me that I don’t want to drink.
It is true Ariana and we all have that simple responsibility to just be ourselves at any point in life, the way the current world is though can easily place pressure on us to not be ourselves. However, if we choose to make this part the most important part and do not back away then we can say no to anything that does not make sense to us, just like Harry has by simply living in a way that actually feels true for us.
Wow Harry, this is a great read and it is all common sense, but common sense that is so rare in the world because we tend to be more concerned about what others think about us, than doing what is true for ourselves. So great to put this out there because it will help others to feel the choices they are making and maybe see that there is another way.
Very true Doug.
Very true dougvalentine. There is self-abuse in order to fit in. What others think is a higher priority than what is felt ourselves. It’s all a bit warped but yet is considered very normal. Anything but this is commonly met with resistance, pressure and judgement.
I love your recent kind of Friday Night Harry. Mine used to involve the pub and drinking after a long week at work and now I opt for the latter of your options and love it. I look back on the drinking and it makes no sense. Why consume something to the point of making yourself vomit (which I did way too many times) this is not pretty and so obviously has a poisoning effect on the body, as why else would the contents of your stomach exit in such a projectile manner? The craziness of fitting in with the crowd! Well now my normal is to not include alcohol in any of my days or nights and to feel amazing and present when I am out with people instead of missing things or not remembering.
I remember my first hangover it was the same as my last hangover, for some reason it took me 20+ years to put two and two together and listen to my body and say thats enough of that particular poison! The reason is multi faceted but in truth pretty simple not wanting to feel what I could feel whether that be nervous, anxious, excited, angry, sad etc, not wanting to fee what others were feeling. Alcohol numbed all of these feelings for me but it never helped these feelings it just made my health worse. I stopped drinking 8 years ago and it was the best decision I have ever made. But like you describe with the designated driver excuse it is only in recent years have I have been able to say, without me making it awkward for fear of what my peers would think, that I don’t drink and I love it.
Thank you Harry this is inspirational and amazing to read the list for your Friday night!
Awesome Harry! Super inspiring.
I felt to comment because I’m 23 and I too always get asked if I want to go out for a drink with friends or work colleagues. I would much rather my Friday evening be spent with my flat mates/family, taking care of myself and getting an early night when I can!
Having taken part in the whole binge-drink-brigade during my teens – I know what I’m NOT missing. There’s so much more fun to be had that doesn’t involve wrecking your body and feeling rubbish for most of the next day whilst the body tries to catch up from the assault the night before.
Thanks for sharing, Harry. It’s great to hear from more young people.
Cheryl, London.
What a truly lovely piece Harry. I myself am a student studying at university and I can truly connect with what you are saying. It really is very sad because other students often use the alcohol and any other form of other stimulation as a way of rewarding the otherwise tough and difficult life they have when all that is needed is to connect with their own truth and live from the simple joy and love that this can bring. I love my simple Friday nights and it’s wonderful that other people like yourself are choosing to take the responsibility they have to live them too.
What a awesome way to spend any night. I appreciate your loveliness, and am inspired by how you choose to honour this, it shows true confidence.
Amazing Harry, thank you for confirming to everyone just how incredible it is to be able to enjoy life without any external stimulants. Connection to self is the only stimulant we truly need. Thank you.
You are amazing Harry, but you know that. I wonder how many young people feel as you do but don’t know how, or have the courage, [as you do] to express so. You have strength in your truth.
Thank you for your post Harry, a delight to read. Very inspiring!
Super blog, Harry. I loved reading how you have chosen to listen to the inner wisdom we all have naturally, when so many choose to ignore it so they can drink alcohol and have a ‘big’ night out. ‘Out’ and really ‘out of themselves’ when you consider it – when there is no memory of the night’s events the following day. OUCH!
Thanks so much for your awesome post, Harry. I’m with you – I now see it as in no way ‘normal’ to put ourselves through the destruction that alcohol brings. When I was 18, I succumbed, accepting it as the ‘norm’, and became quite the drinker for a few years. With the deep joy and loveliness I now know in myself, there is no way I could partake, even of the smallest sip of this poison. Like you, I’ve discovered a fulfilment that far outweighs any so-called ‘highs’ I might have experienced in the past (only to ‘pay later’). I’ve also been able to deal with what lay beneath my choices to self-harm and numb myself.
I admire you greatly for shining in who you are, and your choices, Harry – so that others can see that they too have a choice, and there’s so much more waiting when we choose to love ourselves, rather than self-abuse.
Agreed Mary, and I’ve seen it up close also. We have a long way to go, that people don’t feel there is any other option than to numb the pain and hurt we feel, and depth of our sensitivity with alcohol. And a long way to go to truly acknowledge the poison that alcohol is to our bodies, our relationships and societal fabric – a poison born out of our loss of connection to ourselves and life.
Harry, I love that your blog was published on a Saturday morning! Thank you for the inspiration of a Friday night that celebrates not annihilates the beautiful beings we are.
How awesome that you have been able to feel and know the truth about alcohol at this point in your life. You and your blog are very inspiring. I love how that, without alcohol, every night can be ‘Friday night’ and I find I now have real fun and true connection with my friends that i didnt have when I drank alcohol… Best thing is I remember it all …. and no hangovers!
Yeah I agree – what really strikes me about your blog Harry is that you tried it once, it had a horrible effect on your body and you actually listened. That’s such a powerful and change-ensuring way to life live, if it hurts you in any way – don’t do it. We all had that experience with alcohol the first time we tried it, but so many people override that initial bad experience to fit in, rather than honouring what they feel.
WOW Harry, the way you have expressed is so palpable and alive. So much wisdom and knowing of your own self at such a young age is truly inspirational. I haven’t had alcohol for such a long time but on reflection of my teenage years, I definitely did it to fit in and also to hide behind and I can distinctly remember that first sip each time, the change in me and how it felt and there was no self in there at all. Thank-you for sharing, it felt awesome to read.
Great post Harry. If I had the commonsense to take the same road as you when I was your age – wow – what an amazing difference it would have made to my life particularly when I consider the wasted money, abuse to my body, ridiculous behaviour, embarrassment, the car I wrote off, the poor example to my kids and the list goes on.
I did eventually stop drinking – but why did I make the ridiculous choice to start – and then spend years justifying why drinking ‘in moderation’ is OK? Good for you Harry to be your own man and go against the flow!
This is awesome. What a Man 🙂
Harry, it is such a delight to hear such beautiful words from a man who knows how to be true to himself. If only more guys were like you. If this was the ‘norm’, what could the world be like… full of love and joy. Thank you Harry for being a true inspiration to your peers.
Harry, you are an inspiration. A young musician who already knows themselves, is making choices that are self-loving… wow!!!
True Chris, Harry is really going against the norm here. What a wonderful way to live life – full of joy and a sense of knowing ‘It’s up to me how great I allow myself to be’.
Harry – I can totally relate to what you’re saying. It gives me so much satisfaction and joy to know I will never have a hangover again. My life is now so full-filling I get everything I need from ME. I don’t need alcohol to help me enjoy life anymore – in fact it now seems extraordinary that I ever needed it for that, and I love this life I now lead. Everything I thought I needed alcohol for has long gone. I enjoy myself socially far more than ever before and I enjoy social occasions more than ever with my natural bubbliness rising to the fore.
This is such an inspiring blog. You have expressed with so much love and joy ‘your’ Friday night. Mine are very similar although I would love the foot massage a little more often!