by Harry White, Gold Coast, Australia
My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.
There is a saying that, “The best nights are the ones that you don’t remember”. Well I have had one of those nights before, and if I didn’t remember it, my body certainly made sure that I did with the constant vomiting, headaches, stomach cramps and un-easiness.
Are those big party nights really worth it?
I mean, alcohol is expensive and it makes you do things that you will regret doing, like:
– taking drugs, trying cigarettes,
– lowering your standards and ‘hooking up’ with complete strangers, and
– engaging in behaviours and doing things which are dangerous to yourself and others.
It takes you away from your-self, it gives you a hangover, dulls your senses, kills brain cells and causes undeniable damage to your heart and liver.
As a seventeen year-old young man there is an enormous pressure to go to parties, get wasted and ‘have a good time’ with your mates. I felt this pressure from my school peers and let myself succumb to it. I guess I attended the party to be seen as ‘cool’ and to be accepted by my peer group. I had no interest in drinking alcohol so I played the game of “I’m the designated driver”, but never expressed my true feelings of “No, I don’t want to drink alcohol” from fear of not being accepted. This fear of rejection would get me every time.
More recently I have felt this pressure from friends who ask me if I “want to go out”, meaning go out to pubs or nightclubs and get ‘plastered’. As a young musician, I have played in many pubs and clubs and have experienced first hand what this ‘getting plastered’ may be like; I know I would not like it at all. From behind the drum set I have observed many troublesome things, which have confirmed my feeling that I absolutely do not EVER want to dull and numb myself so much. The thought of being in such a state brings horror to my body and it almost makes me sick.
Now that I have realised that it IS okay and should be considered the ’norm’ to be self-loving and express your true feelings, I have been shining within myself and allowing that shine to emanate outwardly. It is so rewarding to honour your body and your feelings and let them guide the way you live and the choices that you make.
So what IS my kind of Friday night?
My kind of Friday night is one where I can cook dinner with my family and be in their company.
My kind of Friday night is one where I can wind-down with a cup of chamomile tea and be in bed by nine.
One where I can joke around with my sister.
One where I can have a laugh with my Dad about our day.
One where I can give my Mum a foot massage after a big day at work.
Where I can draw some pictures or write about my day.
In my kind of Friday night I can dance joyfully to music without being intoxicated.
My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Harry it was great to read this blog again after spending years of drinking and always looking forward to my weekend. Which began for me on a Thursday, but never the less, it’s all the same. Which ever day you become plastered and don’t know where the rest of your days off have gone to.
Thank goodness my body let go of alcohol, it was becoming so abusive, that a glass of something took longer to remove out of my body, and I’m talking days, not over night anymore.
I don’t miss the alcohol or the associated symptoms and side effects from it anymore. I love my weekdays just as much as my weekends. There are no headaches, or a body recovering from intoxications.
I love my life with no alcohol in my body anymore…
There is no better way of celebrating than being more and more loving with ourselves
Harry reading this brings back memories of how it used to be for me, drinking most weekends, it was the norm to do this and there was an expectation that you needed to fit in with what everyone else was doing. I can recall the silly yet dangerous things I did whilst intoxicated let alone hurt my body.
I too gave up alcohol years ago and interesting how some people feel awkward when they hear you say you don’t drink. Recently a family member commented that I am not fun anymore since I stopped drinking alcohol and other substances. I recall responding that I was still fun, its how they perceived it to be.
It is our perception of how things need to be, and it really comes down to a choice whether we enjoin or not. Nowadays I know what I would like to do, and that is not what has become the norm as my body indicates regularly when it’s not happy. I would rather respond to my body then what everyone else is doing around me.
I observed that when you state you don’t drink anymore, there can be can awkwardness for the other person. Because it highlights to them that you once drank and now you’re responding to the body’s calling. However, when a person says they don’t drink because it’s against their religion, then that is accepted. That reflection isn’t being offered to them then. How do we know that the person who doesn’t drink because of their religion, isn’t doing some other activities which are just as harming on and for the body and is no different to alcohol. Go ponder…
Harry I like your kind of Friday nights and who knows you may be setting a different trend when it will be cool to not go out on a Friday night to get drunk, as there are probably many young people who don’t actually want to do this but go along with the crowd like you did. Just having one person show a different way by claiming the fact they don’t drink can make a huge difference.
I too like my Friday nights and wake up the following morning fresh instead of hungover. We can only show there is another way to live and its okay to be different. How people react or respond is their choice but we can only continue showing there is another way to live, if they so choose to – free will exists with in all of us.
Teenagers today are under so much more peer pressure than teenagers 15-20 years ago and yet the pressures to fit in in some way or another have always been there, only the intensity seems to have increased astronomically. This shows how important it is that we support our teenagers in understanding what they are feeling and confirming them in their qualities.
I have never been able to drink much alcohol – I would feel sick after 1/4 glass of wine or beer and the most I could ever drink was 1/2 glass champagne one new years eve and I swore I would never do it again. What was interesting though was that when I finally had enough courage to tell my friends that I did not want to drink and alcohol anymore, some of them did not want to hang out with me so much – like they felt a little awkward about it. So I changed the way I caught up with them and organised walks on the beach in the morning or lunch catch ups. But I certainly felt like some of the friendships changed which saddened me that they were not that accepting of my choice to not drink. Thankfully I also have many friends who were accepting of my decision to no longer drink alcohol which feels super supportive.
Harry this is a superbly inspiring blog – and I wish I had had it to read when I was younger! I used to attend parties in my late teens and 20’s but could not stand the alcohol – and yet the peer pressure was huge and if you did not drink you were considered a prude or a goodie two shoes or a party pooper etc. So I learned very quickly to accept a bottle of beer but I would go the bathroom and pour it down the sink and fill the beer bottle up with tap water and drink this all evening. This worked till such time that I was corageous enough to say that I did not drink alcohol.
We have heard the term “drug pusher”, but how about “alcohol pusher”? It is quite imposing and as alcohol is a drug that is damaging to the body, it’s really just as serious to try to persuade others. We have made alcohol so normal we don’t question enough this kind of ‘pushing’ behaviour.
When you compare the two kinds of ‘fun’, one making yourself physically sick and not remembering much, placing yourselves or others in danger… or just being yourself, keeping things light, experiencing joy, a richness in relationships, and taking care of your body – well, it’s a distinct difference! Truly, we don’t have to subscribe to the way life is or endorse it, we can be honest and choose a way that is honouring and loving for self and others, and we can do this in every part of life.
Well said Melinda – and the only reason we would abandon the loving kind of fun is because we seek a substitute for love which is recognition and acceptance from our peers. The Antidote to this is to develop a super strong and loving relationship with self so that we never doubt or questions how amazing we are.