Alcohol & My Kind of Friday Night

by Harry White, Gold Coast, Australia

My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.

There is a saying that, “The best nights are the ones that you don’t remember”. Well I have had one of those nights before, and if I didn’t remember it, my body certainly made sure that I did with the constant vomiting, headaches, stomach cramps and un-easiness.

Are those big party nights really worth it?

I mean, alcohol is expensive and it makes you do things that you will regret doing, like:

–  taking drugs, trying cigarettes,

–  lowering your standards and ‘hooking up’ with complete strangers, and

–  engaging in behaviours and doing things which are dangerous to yourself and others.

It takes you away from your-self, it gives you a hangover, dulls your senses, kills brain cells and causes undeniable damage to your heart and liver.

As a seventeen year-old young man there is an enormous pressure to go to parties, get wasted and ‘have a good time’ with your mates. I felt this pressure from my school peers and let myself succumb to it. I guess I attended the party to be seen as ‘cool’ and to be accepted by my peer group. I had no interest in drinking alcohol so I played the game of “I’m the designated driver”, but never expressed my true feelings of “No, I don’t want to drink alcohol” from fear of not being accepted. This fear of rejection would get me every time.

More recently I have felt this pressure from friends who ask me if I “want to go out”, meaning go out to pubs or nightclubs and get ‘plastered’.  As a young musician, I have played in many pubs and clubs and have experienced first hand what this ‘getting plastered’ may be like; I know I would not like it at all. From behind the drum set I have observed many troublesome things, which have confirmed my feeling that I absolutely do not EVER want to dull and numb myself so much. The thought of being in such a state brings horror to my body and it almost makes me sick.

Now that I have realised that it IS okay and should be considered the ’norm’ to be self-loving and express your true feelings, I have been shining within myself and allowing that shine to emanate outwardly. It is so rewarding to honour your body and your feelings and let them guide the way you live and the choices that you make.

So what IS my kind of Friday night?

My kind of Friday night is one where I can cook dinner with my family and be in their company.

My kind of Friday night is one where I can wind-down with a cup of chamomile tea and be in bed by nine.

One where I can joke around with my sister.

One where I can have a laugh with my Dad about our day.

One where I can give my Mum a foot massage after a big day at work.

Where I can draw some pictures or write about my day.

In my kind of Friday night I can dance joyfully to music without being intoxicated.

My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.

 

210 thoughts on “Alcohol & My Kind of Friday Night

  1. Well said Harrison, your wisdom is deeply felt in this sharing. I love your idea of a Friday night, after spending years abusing my body with alcohol and waking up with terrible hangovers it is absolutely crazy that I even chose this in my life. Giving up alcohol has been one of the most empowering and loving choices I have ever made and my body is forever grateful for this.

  2. You are a blessing to yourself, your family and to many others. Thank you for sharing a truly beautiful Friday night. No better way to spend it than the way you have shared.

  3. Harrison, your Friday night sounds very joyful and I’m sure it is because, you have claimed who you truly are, and are living from that space….awesome…..Could I pop over for a foot massage please?

  4. I stopped drinking alcohol 10 years ago, and I consider this to be one of the wisest choices I have made in this life. I can now go to a celebration, a party or any group gathering and know that I can enjoy myself by being me, without the need to harm my body by getting intoxicated, and having to nurse the effects of a hangover for the next couple of days.

  5. Harrison, a beautiful Friday night with your family and one you will willingly choose to repeat any day of the week and your body will thank you for every day.

  6. It is inspiring to read about your kind of Friday night Harry. It is even more inspiring to know how young you are and that you have seen through the allure of alcohol and just know that it is not something you choose. Sooner or later it will become the norm to not choose alcohol as we wake up to the detrimental effects that it has individually and as a society.

  7. Wow Harrison, this is pretty awesome because how many people can claim and be at ease with expressing how they feel regardless of the pressure around them? To see past all the ‘soical’ reasons for being together and actually choose to build a relationship with the body that is supportive of the relationships with others. And for a young guy to share what you have is huge in the world today.

  8. “My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.” Love your kind of Friday night Harrison – mine too! A few years ago when I stopped having alcohol in my house someone said to me – ‘do you mean we can’t have any fun?’ I responded we can have fun without any alcohol – and we did – and still do….

  9. Its great to read of a young man making the choices he wants to make, so often we conform to the behaviour of others, and not just as teens, though it is seen and felt strongly at that age. I saw a group of girls at the bus stop yesterday and they all had their hair done in exactly the same way, and I wonder if this is what they really feel or just a look to conform. It is always so much more interesting when we don’t conform and do what we really feel we want to do. In the case of alcohol, I know myself that I didn’t want to drink as a teen but eventually succumbed for all the wrong reasons which makes reading your true choice Harry a joy to read.

    1. So true Stephen, Harry’s choice is a great sharing of how we all hold the reins to our own destiny by having free will! As you have shared, I also succumbed to peer pressure with both drugs and alcohol. In fact even after I knew how I was affected by alcohol I still gave into the pressure of it being normal to drink to make everyone else feel at ease, which I felt would be a benefit to me but of course, it had the opposite effect. That is, it did not feel true in my body and therefore no one got to feel the true me!

  10. thanks Harry this… And I am guessing, correct me if I’m wrong ☺ but my feeling is that every night is like this for you, because if you are choosing love in the way that you write about, this will be without a doubt reflecting in your everyday life.

  11. Gosh Harry, this line brought me to tears: “My kind of Friday night is one that my body loves me for, because I choose to love it.” Choose love and it loves you back. So simple. So true. So lovely.

  12. Friday nights have this huge expectation and requirement to reward us for our working week. Like we’ve worked hard – now we party hard. Next day we do nat have any responsibility so what should hold us back – we are free…. But. Your blog Harry makes it quite simple clear that there is responsibility all of the time – and even if my mind does not remember what I’ve done – my body does. And it calls me for responsibility.
    For me it seams like the cycle of feeling not amazing in me and my day, but keeping up with this and so deserved a reward, which again does make me feel bad (to be honest) is like we are in a hamster wheel. We run and run but do not get anywhere. To step out of the wheel and see – I do not have to do this and… to become aware: I am not even a hamster, is very much freeing us. Thank God for young people like you Harry who step out of the wheel and show us another, lovingly way. Every day.

  13. Harry, you are an inspiration to all young men. There is a lot of pressure for men around the drinking culture, getting wasted and taking drugs. Its great for men to have solid role models like you, to reflect that we don’t need to abuse our bodies to have a good time and that we don’t need to bow down to peer pressure, instead we can live from within and shine for all to see.

  14. I love your Friday nights and it would be amazing if more young people would celebrate them like you do. It is wonderful Harry that you are a role model for your mates as normally they do not have someone showing them that there is another way of spending their Friday nights.

  15. It should be the norm to be self loving and self Nurturing, we should never let any ideal or belief get in the way of our innermost truth, if we do we can see how that will effect us in our body and from there its a process of recovering and nominating one by one the steps we have chosen to not walk in who we truly are.

  16. Love your Friday night Harry , so beautiful to hear someone so young, speak and live with so much wisdom. A powerful reflection you bring to all ages, thank you .

  17. Breaking down the stereo-type of ‘being one of the boys’ and thus being seen to be drunk as a good thing, is something that has a cultural tradition that is not just inclusive of alcohol. Many ‘manning-up’ type traditions are taking us away from deeply connecting to the tender loving men we all are. For example when I was young I was told to ‘toughen up and become a man’ or ‘you are the man of the house’, so in some way this meant that I would be different to the tender young boy. I have found being tender and owning up to being a fragile and sensitive man is connecting me to the man that every man is looking for. Many thanks Harry and Serge Benhayon for bringing this opportunity for me to deepen, and this is just a part of my forever unfolding relationship with myself.

  18. “My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.” What an awesome statment, what an awesome blog. Thank you Harry for daring to be different. Like Michael Brown says above me it is so refreshing to hear from a young man who dares to follow his heart rather than succumb to the peer pressure of modern day life.

    1. Hear, hear Samantha, I absolutely agree. What an inspiring blog and inspiring young man Harry is. The ripple effects of Harry’s loving choices will no doubt be felt by many. Showing us what is possible and how we can be deep in the thick of these pressures from our peers and society and not get sucked into the drinking culture and the disregarding ways.

  19. Your Friday night sounds like a great night to me too Harry. I went to many parties when I was young but never felt the urge to drink or take drugs. Its funny when I look back because everyone at that time thought I was weird for not drinking, but it felt completely natural for me. Following our own feeling and connection to our bodies is a great way for us to get to know what works and what doesn’t work for the loving care of ourselves. Thank you Harry truly inspiring.

  20. Beautiful Harry, beautiful because you have looked out from a knowing of who you are and how precious your body is and with that have said no to anything that would harm it. What a powerful loving reflection you are to all your friends, family, workmates or strangers that meet you.

  21. “As a seventeen year-old young man there is an enormous pressure to go to parties, get wasted and ‘have a good time’ with your mates”. I can now feel that for me, this is not group pressure as you have shared Harry but an underlying feeling of not being enough or feeling that I was empty of something.

  22. Awesome Harry, you are an inspirational young man. It is amazing what you are sharing, showing our young adults what it feels and looks like to love, care and honour ourselves, our body and our choices. The fear of rejection is huge for many of us but when we accept what is possible and not follow the trend of being ‘plastered’ but show others another way. You are hugely supportive for people around you, as they can see how comfortable you are in your own skin, in being you and in choosing not to drink because you care for your body and your health. Our society definitely can do with more and more inspiring young men like you Harry.

  23. Awesome to have wrote this as 17 year old young man. Now I look back and reflect on my choices, they were truly loving at that time and now I get the benefits everyday from choosing to look within rather than seek to be recognised by the outer, which is done a lot through peer pressure and drinking.

    1. Harry you are leading the way for all of us. Laying down a foundation for when we come back again – as we all will do – where getting wasted is no longer accepted as ‘normal’ and where a young person choosing to live self-lovingly and simply is appreciated and recognised as being the incredible reflection they are.

  24. Very awesome Harry, so inspiring and I am with you. It is such a huge consciousness and force to break free from as this is a culture that exists in our society and is considered as ‘normal’, which calls to us to identify with so that we fit in. I too have succumbed to following the party trail, only to find that my body was left regularly screaming with pain and unease from the abuse the following days after. In the end I could not feel the worth of persisting with it and now love listening to and honoring my body. I enjoy waking up in the morning feeling refreshed an ready to live another day and now would never compromise this for anything, as then I would feel like I was missing out on something great – living in connection with me and sharing this with the world.

  25. I love your opening sentence Harry, “My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.”, it encapsulates the care and deep respect we all deserve.

  26. It is true, the party’s aren’t truly fun. And far from self loving. It is our choice to do it differently showing everyone another way.

  27. What is normal for teenagers is actually not normal at all but very harming and we don’t want to feel the devastation we feel as parents/adults but don’t want to feel because we did the same when we were young. I love how you present a true normal Friday evening, enjoying you and your family honouring your body and not falling for the pressure put on you by your peers.

  28. So essentially we pay to get sick! That’s what we do when we are getting “plastered”. It sounds like you are one of the few Harry who are actually living common sense!

  29. This sure breaks a belief! When I used to have Friday nights like that it was as though I wanted to believe they were fun. There were parts I enjoyed but nothing in me loved them.

  30. I love your list of alternate Friday nights to one of excessive drinking… there is no doubt that honouring you and your body… and allowing what you feel to guide you through life should be the norm compared to the former, which without a doubt does not allow you to shine.

  31. Very very beautiful Harrison, the idea that we can do something now and not pay for it later is such an arrogance we can all have, I know I’ve been there, and it’s not worth it. I love how you describe your Friday night and the words that come up when I read it are love and connection.

  32. Interestingly the company I work for has brought out a new expense system and everyone has to fill in a separate section for alcohol and it has to be broken down into different taxes and it is so complicated that people are starting to question is it worth having an alcoholic drink with their meal because it’s not worth the headache of reclaiming the expense. Because it has been discovered that if you are so much as a penny out it will be rejected. This way of expensing alcohol is asking people to stop and be more aware of the amount of alcohol they are drinking, for some it’s been quite an eye opener.

  33. I have just read another blog about alcohol and it is interesting to read how both people felt the enormous pressure to fit into their peer group. And it is a huge pressure as I remember this pressure myself and succumbed rather than saying no I don’t drink thanks. And that is how the abnormal becomes normal because in the end everyone is drinking because there isn’t enough people standing up and saying no thanks I don’t drink.

  34. True self love is the new cool, and it certainly is a lot more energising and sustaining choosing behaviours and things for our body which are loving and supporting which creates a rhythm we can depend on and shine the way we naturally do out in the world.

  35. This is a great blog Harry, to have this sort of clarity at such a young age will hold you in good stead for the remainder of your life. As well you are a true role model for the younger generation, this is so needed as there is so much pressure to drink and party,

  36. What a gift you are giving yourself at such a young age – congratulations! To start doing what YOU want to do and not bowing to peer pressure, is a worthy stand. And to start to honour your body and build a relationship with it that is not filled with ups and downs, is one that will stand you in good stead.

  37. “My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for” – such a great way of summing it up, living life with consideration of how we will feel the next day. It can be all to easy to ‘live in the moment’ or as though you only live once, but in truth all we are doing is being irresponsible and not considering that all our actions have consequences, from what we eat, when we go to bed and what we drink, even what we watch, who we spend time with and how we express all adds up to how we will feel the next day.

    1. So true thanks for sharing. There is living in the moment which can be in a true sense but what I feel you have shared is that we can also allow ourselves to get caught up in a rush of excitement or energy and do something we normally wouldn’t do and call it living in the moment – but turns out to be lacking responsibility.

      1. I agree – true presences in the moment is in consideration of the whole – the whole of the body and therefor the responsibility we have in life. If I chose something in this moment now, it doesn’t stay in this moment but travels with me into the next, and the next. If I choose to take drugs, check out watching a movie, drink, get angry at someone, I cannot just walk away from those moments and leave those choices behind, they will come into the next moment and effect it whether we notice it or not. I guess true presence could be seen as a consideration of this and the integrity to chose wisely and responsibly in every moment, so as to carry it on into the next.

      2. Wow yes this is so true, and whether we notice it or not this is how we get stuck into detrimental patterns, we didn’t first take notice of the effects of what we were doing. And it works both ways, the love and quality of presence we build in one moment can help us in the next.

  38. So beautiful Harry, I am deeply inspired by your will and love for yourself. I did succumb to peer pressure when I was your age, it always made me feel awful, enjoining with everyone, not listening to myself, what I truly wanted to do. Instead I got wasted, very drunk and as you call out, would do things whilst drunk that I was not proud or felt very self honouring. So bravo to you, it is amazing what you are sharing here and the awesome reflection you are emanating to many others.

  39. Your Friday night is music to my soul Harry and one that is not to different from my own Friday night. Living and loving ourselves brings such joy and simplicity to our lives and leaves us feeling vital and rich. A great way to spend our days and nights. Thank you Harry.

  40. There’s always consequences for every action. Such simple wisdom that makes sense all round, yet I didn’t consider it as a possibility for the most part of my life – it really makes me question what had got into me.

  41. Harry greatly inspired with your blog, I love your Friday nights they feel amazing. I absolutely agree Friday nights with family and friends without alcohol is more loving and joyful. Why would we want to put ourselves through intoxicating drinks and feel awful the next day?

  42. Its nuts to think that getting wasted is ‘having a good time’ I remember those nights when I drank so much that I could not remember any of the night and how I even got home……and I used to call that a great night!!!! And then need to recover all of the next day because I had a whopping headache and hangover from poisoning myself with so much alcohol….yes, I much prefer my evenings spent at home with friends cooking a meal together these days.

  43. “My kind of Friday night is one where I can wind-down with a cup of chamomile tea and be in bed by nine.” I love these Friday nights too, it is such honouring and loving to just be with self by creating that nurturing space for the body to unwind and surrender and truly rest.

  44. ‘My kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for.’ And not only Saturday will thank you but we all will, but most of it your body and soul will thank you for choosing what is true and amazingly joyful.

  45. WOW!!! Thank you Harry, for being you. I realise this is a few years ago now, but my god! you were 17 and as clear as clear can be. What an absolute breath of fresh air!! I’m blown away!

  46. It is so refreshing and deeply inspiring to read about how this young man lives, honouring his body and soul.

  47. Every moment we say ‘No’ to abuse (to ourselves) we say ‘Yes’ to love and it is in those moments of comfort where the abuse is regarded as the norm I have to watch myself and make self-loving choices.

  48. There are so many sayings like the one you shared: “The best nights are the ones that you don’t remember” that are easily ‘copied’ when we are growing up without feeling if they are true or not. Like do we really like the nights that we don’t remember most?? It just does not make sense and as you say, after a big night out I would always feel horrible the next day it actually it was never worth it. I now also opt for a lovely night at home doing things I love.

    1. You are absolutely correct Lieke, we are surrounded by so many sayings and familiar ways of doing things it can be hard to know the truth, let alone live it in full, if everyone else we know isn’t.

  49. Imagine if we lived with care, fun, and prepared our body every night giving it the rest and regeneration it needs, we would be a truly different society.

  50. Your Friday night now, means you are ready for Saturday and when people meet you on that Saturday, that get to see the gorgeous man that you truly are. When they would have met the hungover man on the Saturday, they would have got much less. For me that shows how we use alcohol to hide ourselves away from the world. To not bring all of us to life.

  51. Harry, I’ve seen you play the drums and I have seen you hang around in other situations, and I can honestly say I have never seen someone drinking have a better time than you on even one occasion. You are living proof that people are more fun, more real, more joyfully committed to life when they are sober.

  52. It is absolutely crazy that we need to have an excuse (as I always did use back in the day) that I’m the ‘designated driver’ as that was the only valid reason to not drink ourselves silly at parties. What kind of consciousness holds sway over all of us, that we can’t freely say ‘I don’t drink alcohol’ without getting some kind of reaction back at us.

  53. Absolutely agree Harry, we purposely underrate the ongoing effects that the evenings drinking session will have over the next several days, compounded by the attraction to repeating it to not feel the awfulness the body is already experiencing from the previous session. This would be termed insanity or crazy behaviour if we were to observe and study an animal species conducting itself in this way – so where are we that we don’t apply the same observation to ourselves and take steps to truly understand what is going on.

  54. The wild Friday nights try to make up for the week that’s just been, the week that we don’t want to deal with, and yet we somehow think drinking is the answer… to repeat it all over again the following week..

  55. Yes, how would the world change if we all chose to self-care rather than self-abuse, would it signify the beginning of the end of the abuse of others, and of feeling abused in work relationships and home life? Would it begin the steps towards true relationship and true community, because once we start to hold ourselves in the respect and love that we deserve, we can’t but naturally hold others equally in that same respect and love.

  56. I have found that living like this every day with my wife and family means that there also is not that same desire for holidays as there was in the past. Sure we need our rest days but certainly not to escape from life as we used to.

  57. The first line says it all Harry, ‘my kind of Friday night is one that Saturday will thank me for’. If our body knows what’s good for us, shouldn’t this be the answer to our actions?

  58. With so much pressure now to drink and party, particularly on the younger generation, you are an inspiring role model Harry, leading the way to showing that to love and care for ourselves is a responsibility truly worth committing to.

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