Marijuana Addiction

I grew up as a teenager in the 80s and a surfer. We watched as our parents self-medicated on a daily basis with alcohol, cigarettes and coffee, but our generation worshipped the sounds and spirituality of Bob Marley and escapism and marijuana was our medicine – we used it to escape and check out, to not truly see what was going on in our lives, and as a rebellion against a world that didn’t make sense.

It was ours exclusively as our parents didn’t understand much about it. From its innocent beginnings the so called ‘non-addictive’ drug wreaked havoc in our lives as well as those of everyone connected to us as we under-performed, buried our issues, told lies to cover up, broke many laws, endangered other people’s lives, as well as our own, and failed to commit to our lives and relationships.

We sure didn’t know what we were getting into or what a ride it would take us on. This included my group and its many extended groups, numbering up to 100 people or more. By the age of 30 I didn’t have any friends who were not stoners on some level (and this covered a good cross-section of society) – I chose to choose my friends that way, so I wouldn’t be exposed or asked to be more.

Looking back now I see how far away it took us from the brotherhood, love and equality we all wanted so dearly in our lives and the world. Writing this now I shed many tears for the young innocent boy and boys we were that got so lost, only to become fringe dwellers controlled by a drug – not our natural way or right to be in this life. The numbness and hardness that I created as my wall of protection became a self-imposed jail… and one that nearly took my life.

There were at least 4 people I knew that suicided – all heavy marijuana smokers, the last one a 50 plus year-old neighbour and father of 4. I know in my heart that the marijuana would have helped lead them to get to that point by its insidious nature of hiding / burying and therefore hindering one’s ability to try and work through issues or deal with stuff.

I had slipped down the drain a long way from the young boy with so much potential – the primary school captain, house and senior prefect at high school – and was now living in the underworld, with a warped perception of life. After looking back at an addiction of 20 years, with at least 17 years of daily usage in Australia and internationally, I can honestly say I could hold a Masters or PhD on the subject.

With a strong work ethic, and mainly being a nightly user, I lived in a weird duality as a night time vegetable and mad professor, going deeply into an altered state, unable to express myself or debrief / reflect back on my day properly. Its effects on my rhythms and cycles were the cause of many difficult situations ­– doing something with catastrophic consequences once would have been bad enough without having to repeat it, again and again in some cases.

In hindsight, burying things and numbing was what it helped to do best, and putting up a wall of separation between the world and myself: a protective layer or shield that only held me imprisoned in unresolved stuff and emotions. That shield also kept others at bay – separatism: I was very selfish indeed, rather than truly sharing who I was with all.

My family is only starting to know the real me now as I gradually let myself be seen by all – not always a comfortable experience, but so very worth it. Dope was a double-edged sword: great for helping destroy relationships (3 wives later – de facto), then great for numbing and hiding what really happened. To me, this makes marijuana the ultimate retarding drug of the 20th century, with its recurrence in such big ways ­– the world hasn’t seen this drug before become so mainstream, i.e: having so many users/addicts or ‘devotees’, from kids to housewives. Even though it has been used for thousands of years in Africa, Asia and India, its retarding nature to human evolution is at a widespread and epidemic level.

I spent at least 10-12 years knowing it wasn’t good for me, saying I wanted to stop (with many failed attempts), but the effect of its seductive nature on my psychological mind and physical body was always too strong. Not until I nearly took my own life by driving off a bridge at high speed to stop the voices in my head in a psychotic episode and to end the agony of life, did I take notice and stop ‘forever’ – which only lasted for a short time, by the way.

By my early to mid thirties the “Muppet on Acid” was running out of energy and my lifestyle of partying, drugs and the underworld was catching up with me. Like a burnt-out soldier burnt from running too many missions, my body was starting to show signs of disease. I went looking for help to doctors and naturopaths and after a number of blood tests, I was diagnosed with exhaustion / chronic fatigue / stress disorder and shingles. So I stopped all drugs and was advised to go on a cleansing diet of herbs and pure foods, with no sugar, yeast, alcohol, caffeine, preservatives, etc., for a minimum of 3 months.

After a few days on the diet I cried for days as my body dumped all the unresolved / buried emotions and stuff back into my body to feel. I felt raw and sensitive but the great thing was I was able to feel again. Before that, there was a time where I hadn’t cried for nearly 10 years, just toughing life out with my dope and my dope buddies. After the diet I felt very different and re-energised, but within 6 months went back to my old habits of binge drinking and pot smoking. It did give me a huge marker or point of reference for how I could feel and gave me something to come back to.

After having children in my late 30s I managed to cut it down to weekends only but found if I had it more than 2 days straight, I would want to have it every day again. Children were my first energetic wake-up call: from babies to 6 year-olds, they always knew if I walked in stoned and the way they looked at me was like a freak / zombie had just walked in. So I made sure I wasn’t stoned in their presence. It was like they knew I was somehow different and not my full self.

Not until I attended a Heart Chakra Workshop around 2006 presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine (UniMed) did I know or hear of the damaging effect of marijuana to the human body, and its organs and energetic field. I learned that it affected the spleen and the kidneys energetically (both natural energy centres, as Serge presents), not to mention the lungs / respiratory system, as well as contributing to the depression / psychosis in its users – something I had denied for years, as I, like many users, championed its harmless ‘all-natural’, non-violent and non-addictive status.

If this ‘harmlessness’ is true then…

…Why is its production in Mexico fuelling one of the biggest and bloodiest drug wars in history, all to decide who will be in charge of supplying the world’s largest bunch of dope addicts in the USA? Marijuana is a very addictive product that holds people to ransom on many levels (people can be addicted for long periods, up to 65 years) and it’s a billion dollar industry, especially if your customers have given up and sold out to being numbed and medicated, rather than fully committing to life, work and community (as America suffered the GFC, morale has dropped and drug abuse and addiction have skyrocketed).

Originally I was in denial of the fact that marijuana was rated by Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine (UniMed) as the second worst of all drugs with the shamanic drug ayahuasca in first place according to their energetic effects. I pondered on this for weeks and also discussed with close friends (also long-term dope addicts), agreeing with things such as hearing voices at times when stoned: “Have some more”, or “Where do you think you’re going?” – when you’ve just woken up, drooling on the lounge near midnight, then trying to limp to bed, but somehow convinced to return to the bong for another session after already being the most wasted person in the world – complete insanity, I repeat, complete insanity! Or when you’ve woken up in the morning with a foggy potato head, late, unorganised, and remorseful, swearing and swearing “Today is the day I quit”, only by 3.30pm to be salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs, to go home and smoke again.

This madness went on sporadically for 10 years, not to mention the subsequent addiction to coffee as my life force and energy diminished as time went on.

Its addictive nature was extremely powerful and controlling. I could share many more stories of the behaviours people would stoop to in order to get their daily fix of marijuana – like the lying, cheating and deceiving that I had witnessed– all interesting effects of a so-called ‘soft, non-addictive, harmless, drug’. Yeah, sure.

So to cut a long story short, I kicked the habit by choosing to change my ways by understanding that the substance was utterly destructive and ruining my potential to have a balanced and great life. Not to mention that there was not a self loving, caring or nurturing part about it – only a selfish indulgence into the abyss of a life of misery. After all that smoking and time spent in an altered state I had not gained any more wisdom or enlightenment, or created a better way to live. So why continue with the PhD???

I also started to get help in the form of Esoteric Healing through UniMed, which helped me clear the energetic damage the drugs had done to my body. It revealed the damage to my spleen and kidney energy centres. With UniMed’s support, and through the activation of self love and care, I was able to heal my chronic allergies and hay fever, lower back pain, and chronic fatigue. My new rhythm of early nights, the total removal of drugs and alcohol, and my decision to keep to a gluten and dairy-free diet as suggested by my GP, also allowed me to feel the person behind all that lying and hardness and aloofness.

I feel this did a lot to clear the way for the new me – which by the way, was just the old me by birthright – living in full, feeling all of it – the good, the bad and the indifferent, all as it is. A big thank you to Serge and UniMed for speaking the truth and not holding back in a world where truth is always used in a controlled form and not exclusively for the good of all. The transparency of Serge’s work is there for all to see, and in this case, a spade being called a spade is a great tool for (no longer) burying your shit.

As I now am not an AA­-like reformed drug addict, but someone who has no connection or attachment to marijuana at all, it feels to me that it was another life away, while many of my old friends are still daily / regular users to this day – some in their mid 40s and 50s – are now suffering depression (and being medicated with anti-depressants permanently) and other debilitating ailments. There are many that are also of the belief that there isn’t anything wrong with dope: please note, I don’t preach to them, I respect their choices, but say clearly how I feel and how I would never use marijuana again. In the past I was a pro-marijuana activist, rebel and user who, through its hold of addiction and the strong denial of what it was really doing to me, got caught up in it.

Now I care and nurture my body more than ever before, in the same way that as parents we look after and teach our children to do the same for themselves… Instead of treating our body as something to dump stuff into, like heinous / evil drugs, to help medicate ourselves to be able to cope with life, really only hiding from real life and burying our issues so we have more crap to deal with later – a truly vicious circle / cycle. You don’t see children, especially primary-aged children, having to come home and smoke dope or get drunk to cope with a tough day at school, they deal with their stuff sober. It’s just in the adult world that we justify and champion this behaviour as ok, when it’s really far from that.

May we all aspire to be all we are for the sake of all, as it takes all of us working together to make our lives truly great.

By Anonymous, NSW aged 46

496 thoughts on “Marijuana Addiction

  1. When we get the sense that the world doesn’t make sense it can topple our internal gyroscope so instead of feeling our place in life we feel unsettled and abandoned, and of course we have abandoned ourselves because we should not be here and it’s that tug of knowing that we shouldn’t be here that is so unsettling because the very particles that make up our bodies do not come from this plane of life. If we allowed ourselves to deeply feel our sensitivity we would know this to be true, however we bludgeon our sensitivity with drugs, alcohol, any form of distraction we can invent all to deny the truth of who we are and the origins of where we come from.

  2. What a shame we waste our lives not wanting to be here, when we are not from here anyways. I am not criticising our lifestyles, but this just goes to show, 1000’s of people and I’m sure many more are searching to find themselves and become entangled in life’s artificial settings. Stimulation is all around us to put us in a state that is of fantasy. TV probably being the worst offender as it is freely available.

    Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and their practitioners brings us back to us and that is worth more than what we are continually presented to us that is of falsities.

    I am so appreciative that Serge Benhayon and his family are dedicated to humanity and the love they have for us is out of this world.

  3. After reading this blog I appreciate much more the lightness I feel in my lungs and the ability to breath in its original flow. I also appreciate immensely your revealing testimony Anonymous, as it breaks and brings light into a false safe conception of such a dangerous drug.

  4. There are all kinds of ways to numb ourselves out and cut our selves off from life, love and relationships. Drugs are just one way to do so and can have very strong effects on us all. I am not trying to minimise the impacts and effects of drugs, but essentially any addiction (be it to exercise, chocolate or work…) can have its damaging effects too. Any addiction that we have is a way we use things to delay or numb or not deal with life….until such time that we are finally ready to do so, and take responsibility for who we are and what we are here to reflect.

    1. We live in an addictive world, to keep us on that cycle to not awaken to the true reality of the desecration occurring in this world.

  5. What is powerful about this sharing and also our experiences in life, is that once we make a true change and let go of a way of living that has not served us, as you have done Anon, then this opens up a new way of being with our selves and so the reflection to the world is to say ‘look, it can be done, you can let it go and move on’ – So many times when we are caught up in habits that do not serve, we feel like there is no way out, but if and when we can see someone who has lifted themselves out in a true way, this stays as a marker and reflection for us to do likewise when we are ready to do so.

    1. Henrietta what you say is true, I have watched someone struggle with life and themselves, I have sensed how they have struggled with it all being too much, I have felt how they wanted to give up and give in. The nervous tension they have coped with, the ghastly grey their body has sometimes taken on. For those with eyes to see there has been a huge internal battle taking place. I met them again recently and I can feel the change that is taking place within them and it is truly beautiful to see. I can feel how they are much more settled in life, the nervous tension and anxiousness has left their body it’s as though they have come into calm waters, the greyness has gone and they feel oh so settled.This is an amazing reflection for everyone that it is possible to bring our wayward spirit into line so that we can once again join the flow of the universe and all that it has to offer.

  6. Interestingly, we do now see more and more primary school children using dope too – smoking it before they get to school and also afterwards (and likely sneaking a smoke too during the breaks if they can). This is starting at a younger and younger age…setting us up for a life in the same trend and hence ‘normalising’ a life with no purpose other than to escape and numb oneself out.

  7. This is an honest account of the consequences of drifting into smoking dope. It would be a great article for people to read, so they are more aware of the possible consequences of having a joint, or two, or more.

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