by Alan Johnston, Pottsville
I have just finished with a twenty-year abusive relationship. Even though we ‘divorced’ ten years back, it carried on. Several weeks ago it ended up in the Supreme Court where it finally broke open on this stern, bewigged, legal reef.
No alcohol, physical violence or passionate emotions were involved – just brittleness, control and karma. Karma – for those not familiar, is reaping what you have sown, facing the consequences of previous loveless actions or lack of truth.
I’m talking about a business partnership gone wrong. Even though it was long terminated, like television’s ‘The Walking Dead’ it refused to die. Relatively recently, I realised that it was me that was animating the whole thing, in a sense my real opponent was myself, but realisation and completion are not necessarily bedmates.
The guts of this understanding came through my engagement with Universal Medicine and very specifically through the straight talking, loving reflection of Serge Benhayon. No lawyers had helped, except themselves to hundreds of thousands of dollars – no matter how well meaning they were. They cannot, for the legal system is broken, mired in complexity, the mind of man gone mad.
What was needed was a game change, something to overturn the whole dire mess –which so easily could have gone through the scheduled seven day trial, waited half a year or a year for a judgment and then proceeded on to an appeal in the High Court. Note those courtly adjectives.
The breakthrough began quietly some time back, with my learning (with more than a little support) to just stop giving myself away. What does this really mean, ‘to stop giving yourself away’?
Simply this: in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough. Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed. Not with any revelatory drama, just said. And in the nomination and expression more is revealed, for all.
So there I was, in a dark-panelled office dripping with gravitas, with a Queen’s Counsel, another barrister and two lawyers – combined fees north of two thousand dollars an hour – and effectively in the space of a number of meetings over two weeks they dismantled my case before my eyes; this expensive and carefully constructed edifice of years of legal work. The final, necessary, almost complete pulling out of the carpet happened an hour before the trial was to begin.
That’s how it can go it seems, in the hot-house of gearing up for a trial, flaws in a case are revealed, lines of argument abandoned. It is all designed to be very disempowering for the uninitiated (client). The legal world is deliberately obtuse, with its own language and rituals. Quasi-religious even. Lawyers as priests, barristers as bishops, senior counsel as cardinals, all classic intermediaries between the penitent and a ‘higher authority’, that is, the ‘Law’. A ‘golden calf’ (Exodus 32:4) reincarnated and fattened over the centuries.
How did I fare?
I didn’t freak out, I dealt with any rising anxiety as best I could with humour and self-nurturing. Then and there, when the legal quartet was singing its dirge I chose not to sing along but instead to feel my body and my breath. My spouse was even steadier and simply beautiful through it all. Things were faced as they arose.
So then a series of minor miracles unfolded and a last-gasp negotiation initiated by my opponent at the door of the court led to a ‘decree absolute’ being drafted that day, albeit with a chunk of ‘maintenance’ for me to pay (my karma). As my spouse said of me to a friend right in the middle of it all, “He’s fine, he’s got help”.
Yes, I had.
I chose against all the odds to listen. To introduce into my life the practices in self-nurturing and presence that are at the heart of what Universal Medicine presents. A soul inspired decision. How so?
I feel the multi-dimensional resolution of this situation is directly attributable to my listening more to my inner voice, rather than drowning it out with strain and distraction. In the ‘radical simplicity’ of such an ongoing shift, Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners have all been as one, as love.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
A great learning for us all, how complicated legal proceedings can become if we allow it, and yet if we choose we can simplify things by just being with ourselves.
Loved reading this. It never fails to amaze the situations we can make more complicated, and when we realise our part in a situation how easily things can suddenly change.
What a great foundation you have offered for those in any situation where the authorities create their own superiority.
You are a great inspiration and mentor for anyone who chooses to not get caught in a system of external judgment when the truth is all-ready waiting with-in. (A question I’ve always wanted to ask: What is it with the wigs?)
Inspiring Alan, I love it when miracles present, the power of presence and love, ‘I chose against all the odds to listen. To introduce into my life the practices in self-nurturing and presence that are at the heart of what Universal Medicine presents.’
Another great sharing Alan, I love how you write and the honesty you bring.
Wow – a real lesson in surrendering. Thanks Alan!
Amazing story Alan. I’m not sure exactly what was the miracle I probably need to read again your amazing ability to tell a good story. I get the overall message though and that is to be guided by that innermost voice by remaining observable to what not aligns to the innermost and know a lot more power comes when delivering the innermost than the ‘standard repeat’ of complexity chitchat we trust from outside through others and not remain with the feeling of truth we know.
We can be so outcome-driven and try so hard navigating its course, and when it goes according to how we envisaged it to be, we call that a success, but all that is needed, whenever and wherever we are, is for us to be connected to the truth of who we are and express from that place. That is very simple.
‘to stop giving yourself away’ – a crucial lesson in life, worth every penny.
This is a beautiful account showing how backing yourself with lived steadiness and connection to oneself and truth is a super support when faced with a daunting situation – a positive ‘karma’ that is there when needed for all who have chosen this for themselves as their way of living. Each day we are presented with so many opportunities to either start choosing this loving way of being or ways we can embrace it more fully.
True cases of success have very little to do with the monetary outcome, ratter it has to do with how we feel throughout the case and how we handle things afterwards. Your solidness and that of your spouse is the success you have to celebrate and hold dear. It is people that matter, but of course we can lose sight of this at times, and that is when we get affected. Thank you Alan for sharing your story!
Who knew that simply connecting to being in your body and committing to presence is so powerful and can impact such seemingly unrelated things as intense high level legal proceedings??
I am so impressed by how you have shared this- thank you Alan!
There have been moments in the past when I have felt overwhelmed when karma has revealed itself but recently I chose to accept a situation which has presented itself on and off since I met my husband and boy did I feel so much lighter and liberated in doing so. Before, I felt as though I was fighting my karma yet holding on to it at the same time and every time I did so one big drama was created. What I once thought would be an outcome I realise now was an expectation, an unrealistic, pretty picture of what it ‘should’ look like but not the truth. As the truth uncovers, revealing itself sometimes in the most unexpected ways I can feel my karma clearing and when I do find myself beginning to go into playing the game of victim I lovingly bring myself back to me and my body; the answer to healing my karma.
Reading your words again tonight Alan, it is very clear to me that we know exactly what is needed to clear our Karma. Having the willingness to hold our presence and connection to ourself to support what we know to unfold as you have done is deeply inspiring.
That’s what I love about Universal Medicine everything it presents supports us to deal with anything that happens and to not get caught up in the story but rather stay steady and loving throughout even the most challenging situations, thank you Alan for your amazing wisdom in this piece.
The freedom of living from who you are and not how the legal system, or the world tells you how to be cannot be over stated.
Your sharing makes living in connection with our bodies, willing to feel what ever is there and responding to life from the honesty of what is felt, a very practical way to live.
Thank you for sharing this Alan. There’s nothing to be done except be ourselves and get out of the way of the flow of life.
A very beautiful example how we can in the most dire of situations choose love and do not have to go with what comes towards us and neither having to go into defence.
I love that in that face of all of that you chose to surrender to the only thing you had any power over – yourself… and as a result were shown the power of such a choice in the way that things unfolded. A true testament to the wisdom of the ages and your connection to all you are.
Thank you dearly for your honest words Alan
Thank you Alan for sharing very inspiring to read.
Alan I love it – pure love and self nurturing in action.
“in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough. Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed.” So true Alan – as in many situations we are not in control, however much we may try to manipulate it so. Staying connected and, as your friend commented ‘“He’s fine, he’s got help”. We all have help if we stay connected and express our truth. Great post to re-read…
Staying with what we feel within can support us when the karmic moments occur – our previous choices coming back to the being that made them, it’s like waking up after being drunk and having to face all that you did while in that altered state. We can either judge ourselves and be critical but that only leads to another drunken night or feel how to respond to what is now before us, not focusing on the moments now past and question is the cause of drinking in the first place going to come back around as well? if so, how can we prepare ourselves differently. Thank you Alan.
This is gorgeously written Alan, thank you for showing what being in the presence of our soul can do and help us with in our lives.
Great learning Alan. When we have the grace to listen to our body grace has a way of showing us the way.
“Simply this: in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough.”
It is so easy to fall for the concept of complexity and give your power away to that, however if we can allow this kind of approach and stand in our simplicity we discover our true power.
Thank you Alan. I can relate to having to deal with the legal system, as I have had this experience too. Human law does not come close to divine law. When the family system has gone wrong and the business system has gone wrong, we put ourselves in front of the legal system, which it too has gone wrong. All of these are based on human law and does not come close to the real crime. The devoid of divine law – Truth and love.
“Simply this: in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough. Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed. Not with any revelatory drama, just said. And in the nomination and expression more is revealed, for all.” I love the simplicity in this Alan, thank you. There is nothing grander in life when simplicity is introduced to a situation of complexity. Suddenly all the drama, all the struggle is gone and we are staying with the naked truth, the horizon wide and still, allowing us to move forward with clarity and understanding and a view on the greater whole.
We can often blame others for how we believe we have been stitched up by our experiences in life but in truth we are more often than not only reaping what we have sewn.
‘…in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough. Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed.’ This is great advice, Alan, freely given rather than offered with an hourly rate price tag. What is even more generous is that it has universal application, not just confined to the domain of court proceedings. Thank you for the gift.
I agree Meg. This line stood out for me also. The message of self nurturing, self connection and speaking your truth is quite breathtaking in its simplicity – it is only ourselves that add the complexity.
Something so complex as the legal system handled in the final stages with so much simplicity by simply honouring and staying true to what you feel, thank-you Alan for showing there is another way.
This is inspiring, in the face of high legal costs, foreign complex legal lingo and the whole legal system, nothing is greater than honouring what we feel from deep within.
What I get from this blog is that no matter how high the stakes are never discount listening to the answers that come from within. And don’t let anxiety take the high ground.
Thank you for sharing your enlightening experience Alan, it feels like your commitment to staying with yourself and accepting your part in the abusive relationship allowed for what followed ‘a series of minor miracles unfolded and a last-gasp negotiation initiated by my opponent at the door of the court’. We can get so caught up in the entrenchedness of our position that we are unwilling to look at what brought us to that point. For me Universal Medicine has lovingly supported me to accept responsibility for my part in relationships that are struggling and find a way forward which has love as its foundation which has transformed my life.
Thank you for this sharing Alan – your strength shines through as you surrender to the love that you are.
The legal systems complicated use of language is anything but simple. Add to that the dynamics of the hurts of those involved in each case being presented to the courts and the complication becomes even more entangled, difficult and challenging to resolve…
That is very interesting Alison. It explains alot, especially the way that the Judge’s feel when they ‘preside at court’. It makes sense of a dichotomy I could feel from my Judge in a recent case. On the one hand he was quite humorous and obviously good natured, but there was an entitlement of office… an energy that he quite literally has to step into to don the robe and make the judgement. It totally cuts him off from his humanity and all he is capable of doing at that moment is to spew forth the rules, legislation and trappings of his office. The office is no longer about wisdom or people, but about the regurgitation of an ancient system.
Very profound Adam, and your comment that ‘a life of honesty leads to a life of simplicity’ neatly sums up Alan’s point about how the complexities we come across in our lives, that need to be tidied up and can cause such intense frustration so often come as a result of karma for previous actions. The way we live is the key.
The court system is intense – I took a matter to the Crown Court recently and similarly had the case taken apart very skillfully before my eyes, in a language that was arcane and somewhat incomprehensible. Here was a system that had no interest in truth, simply in procedure… a system designed in fear of making mistakes rather than the inquisitorial system across the channel. It took time to find any point to my foray… but I feel the most important thing is to express one’s truth fully and provide an example for the courts – that is success.. and not the outcome that is steered by those whose only interest seems to be their own ridiculous income.
Alan what a great scene your blog paints to show the presence of love in a viscous controlled world can make the difference. I could feel immense amount of self love you had created in yourself for you to be able to hold it amounts’ such a challenge.
It seems easier to be calm and present when things are going well, but not always when in a difficult and stressful situation. I love that your choice to feel all there was to feel in that moment led to a series of small miracles – confirmational.
Thank you Alan, you’ve deeply confirmed that by maintaining a steady connection to the truth and wisdom within one’s body and choosing to express that in full, regardless of external drives and pressures, can be absolutely miraculous. Much felt and a great read.
Alan an awesome blog on the inner workings of the legal system and you handled it beautifully by not getting attached to an outcome and choosing to listen to your inner heart -very inspiring.
Yes a very revealing blog and the lack of attachment to outcomes feels key in not getting caught up in the game that is our adversarial legal system.
Alan, love how you write, your words expressed with such grace and inspiration in the face of great tribulation, handling it not with any typical fear, but instead with love.
Thank you Alan, I really loved your blog, it was inspiring to read, and left me smiling.
What you share about listening to our bodies is so true – we could expose every shenanigan so easily when we do listen. Live would be so simple and easy with that.
In the face of the greatest force it is simple really. Hold your presence and stillness and breathe, live the love your are. Thanks Alan.
So beautifully expressed Allan, I love reading your blogs and I love the wisdom and inspiration you impart.
Your following words say it all for me; Simply this: in any situation if I can stay connected to what I am really feeling and speak from there, then that is enough. Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed. Not with any revelatory drama, just said. And in the nomination and expression more is revealed, for all, with deep appreciation and love.
Amazing to hear this real life story of how you were supported and looked after all the way through with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
What a great sharing Alan. Being your real opponent and holding your presence, facing yourself and your choices sounds like an extraordinary healing. I loved that you called it a multi-dimensional resolution in respect of this and everything that was brought to the table that could not be seen but you were being asked to take responsibility for. Awesome.
Alan, I just loved this phrase: “realisation and completion are not necessarily bedmates.” I also found very true relations that finish officially but not really in the sense of dynamics that keep playing out. There is much to learn about the state of our relationships.
Great to feel how listening to our inner self will serve no matter the situation- as it all comes back to love.
Listening more to our inner voice really is game changing. What you’ve shared here Alan is gold, thank you.
Thank you Alan for this deeply inspiring sharing of your story. It is incredible what can grow and blossom from the ground of trust and the willingness to accept our responsibility and karma.
Alan – you could make a story about grass growing, entertaining such is your wonderful way with words. This blog is far more inspiring than sprouting vegetation. It is a blessing to be reminded of the unshakable power we each have inside of us to remain still and constant no matter what storm comes. Thank you Alan.
You have shown Alan, that when we stay present with ourselves and in connection, mountains literally move. From that place it is also easy to accept responsibility and karma and then move on. Thanks for sharing your powerful story.
I enjoyed reading this Alan, I particularly related to the way you chose to stay unruffled and unperturbed by the outer goings on of your court case, a real case of controlling the controllable. The “minor miracles” and “multi-dimensional resolution” felt like an amazing outcome to this decision of yours to stay unaffected by a system gone mad.
Yes the comparison of the law with its quasi religious quality resonated with me too. For men “on high” to be able to manipulate and control the law, combined with its power to intimidate and instill fear can be overwhelming – including the cost of the privilege. What you share however is that the love of oneself and of truth is stronger than this. There is a gentle, but absolute power in feeling the truth and expressing it. Hats off to you for staying connected through this process – an inspiring sharing. Thank you.
Beautiful sharing Alan. I love and agree with your description of our legal system:
‘It is all designed to be very disempowering for the uninitiated (client). The legal world is deliberately obtuse, with its own language and rituals. Quasi-religious even. Lawyers as priests, barristers as bishops, senior counsel as cardinals, all classic intermediaries between the penitent and a ‘higher authority’, that is, the ‘Law’.’
Where is the word love in that system? Where is the true intent to understand each other? The current system encourages battle, with a winner and a loser and doesn’t seem to care about people.
Alan, you have a way with words. In the most trying of situations – it seems easiest for us to lose connection with ourselves. Though here you share the importance of maintaining it. Thank you.
Top story Alan Johnston and I love your style of writing. You get the point across and the serious bits come through clear and the humour keeps the heavy stuff light. Love it !
The bit that made me stop and realise how huge our own personal Responsibility is when you talk about karma. We get away with nothing even if we think we do, it all comes back to rebalance the cycle.
Serge Benhayon is a ‘game changer’ – a straight talking man who has helped you, me, and many many others to deal with our own internal conflicts, stay connected and to express what we feel in that moment with no holding back. It sure works and saves us a lot of wasted time and money – and in your case tons of money !!
Great insights here Alan. I can relate to the comment about ‘giving yourself away’. So often we do not express what we feel but we over-ride what we feel or edit or change it into something else that the world might find more palatable or easier to stomach and so we might be liked or accepted more. And so we give ourselves away to what the world wants rather than what we feel is our truth.
The language of the law does seem to be structured in a way that makes it hard to understand for most of us.. I felt a healing from the way Alan let go of all the attendant emotions that accompany trials, and simply sat with himself and trusted.An inspiration.
To bring such stillness and presence in the face of a possibly extremely overwhelming situation is super inspiring. Disarming complexity,resulting in the simplicity of this resolution . Beautiful.
Such a superb article Alan one we can all learn so much from especially if faced with the legal system and all that goes with it.
What a great insight into how grace will always find a simple way through any complexities that may come our way. Great read. I love your style Alan.
I just feel that I want to say ‘thank you’ Alan for sharing your experience with honesty and truth – that was amazing.
Another enjoyable post Alan and a profound lesson. Your presence is formidable.
Yet again another well written blog from one who writes with truth and wisdom beyond the ages. I have loved sharing and listening with you Alan and await your cyclic return to the weekly men’s gathering.
Absolutely beautiful Alan and so gorgeously expressed. I can feel your connection to simplicity and the whole magic that rises like a phoenix out of the complications of an ancient, bastardized, power sucking, system. Amazing that you and your beautiful wife stayed with truth amidst all the monkeying intimidations set before you.
Gorgeous blog!
Brilliant Alan – in the truest sense, i.e. that it is the foundation we hold within, and live, that is our greatest strength in meeting such a challenging course of events. What you’ve shared about expression: “Because I always know the truth, it just needs to be felt and then expressed.” and also about presence and nurturing, listening to your inner voice… is surely profound in its “radical simplicity”.
We need not be ‘perfect’ in such circumstances, but simply willing to remain true to ourselves – present and feeling. I greatly admire your ability to embrace the teachings of Universal Medicine, and the support of its practitioners, that you can live in such a way where this deep knowing and support from within is cherished so deeply. A way where one knows this in itself to be our greatest strength – rather than the defences and fortresses of the mind and intellect.
And congratulations on a long cycle of learning, that is clearly complete!
Alan, your writing is so expressive and beautiful. And honest and clear. Thank you for sharing this tale of a ‘break-up and legal wrangling’ and how it was all put in its place with the choice to be with you, stay with and listen only to your inner heart.
Alan you are in an inspiration and an inspirational teacher for us all. So much appreciated.
Alan, your descriptions here are spot on. Congratulations too on being able to stay with yourself through this process. I have been involved in the family law court processes and a trial. Thanks to what I have experienced with Universal Medicine I too was able to bring my own presence to whatever was unfolding next, breath gently and be as still with myself as I could rather than get caught up in what I termed the ‘circus antics’. I have no doubt that you have learnt a lot about yourself.
Amazing blog Alan..Very inspirational to read… Thankyou
Wow. a great insight into the legal system and to the inner workings of simplicity in action.
Another gem Alan, thanks. I love your blogs.