By Julie Chung, Melbourne
I have come to realise that in the past I have been an extremely bad investor. Over all of my 56 years and all that I have invested in, I should be a very wealthy, healthy and wise person by now. But all I kept getting were empty returns that needed to be filled up with another investment to satisfy me. It left me feeling incomplete and not enough as a person, which was very dis-empowering, draining and totally not who I now know myself to be.
I realised that I can’t possibly feel or know the fullness of me or who I truly am at those times because I’ve chosen to not feel what I truly need and instead go with outside stimulation as a filler – and it doesn’t work. It was like trying to fill something with nothing, so I couldn’t possibly feel open and spacious, vital and complete.
I’ve invested in this way in TV, movies, people, situations, food, life choices, sex, emotions, others’ emotions, things; the list goes on but you get the picture. Of course you often get the momentary burst of excitement which kicks in the nervous system to accommodate your need that feels good at the time but is very short lived and leaves you with the dull hangover from the emotion used and the energy expended.
My deepest gratitude to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, as it is through them that I have finally come to realise that I have never fully invested in myself. Oh sure, I had a certain level of commitment to living more truly from what I had come to learn about myself, and I love that I had chosen to honour myself in that, but I also realise that I can go so much further and from a much grander place.
The biggest commitment that I will ever make is to invest fully in all of me, and not just what I would deem to be the acceptable parts. I realised that I hadn’t been aware of what truly investing in myself means in full, and that it is asking for me to be open to receiving all of myself – including the parts that are not true, serving me, or that I don’t like to look at. That when I do allow myself to receive all of me and come from my own innate rhythms I can make even greater choices and therefore truly better investments.
So if I am the greatest investment of all, then why did I not feel totally free, unwavering, complete and enough in myself where nothing more was needed – what was missing?
The truth is I had never trusted in myself enough, and so I could not possibly have invested in life choices that honoured the Beauty and Grand-ness of me that I am now feeling in full. I hadn’t allowed myself to know all of me, from that place of Greatness, Beauty and Trust in its absoluteness, for many reasons.
Now,as I know what is right and nurturing for me, and what is truly needed in my daily life as part of a rhythm that I choose for myself, all of those things in life – TV, movies, people, situations, food and making love etc. – are experienced from a new perspective, from a more open and alive part of me that has always been there but veiled by my way of life and its constant motion. I now choose to receive each moment from a place of stillness within me and experience life from there, from me first – so what’s not to enjoy?
I now know with absolute certainty,I AM my own best investor and the only one that can make the greatest choices for me, bringing in those healthy returns over and over again – and never bottoming out.
My own love, deeper appreciation, acceptance, allowance and exquisite grace, are the key to my living a full and true life not only for myself, but just as importantly for others – and I totally invest in that because I am absolutely worth it.
Everything begins and ends with me, it is that simple.