By Julie Chung, Melbourne
I have come to realise that in the past I have been an extremely bad investor. Over all of my 56 years and all that I have invested in, I should be a very wealthy, healthy and wise person by now. But all I kept getting were empty returns that needed to be filled up with another investment to satisfy me. It left me feeling incomplete and not enough as a person, which was very dis-empowering, draining and totally not who I now know myself to be.
I realised that I can’t possibly feel or know the fullness of me or who I truly am at those times because I’ve chosen to not feel what I truly need and instead go with outside stimulation as a filler – and it doesn’t work. It was like trying to fill something with nothing, so I couldn’t possibly feel open and spacious, vital and complete.
I’ve invested in this way in TV, movies, people, situations, food, life choices, sex, emotions, others’ emotions, things; the list goes on but you get the picture. Of course you often get the momentary burst of excitement which kicks in the nervous system to accommodate your need that feels good at the time but is very short lived and leaves you with the dull hangover from the emotion used and the energy expended.
My deepest gratitude to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, as it is through them that I have finally come to realise that I have never fully invested in myself. Oh sure, I had a certain level of commitment to living more truly from what I had come to learn about myself, and I love that I had chosen to honour myself in that, but I also realise that I can go so much further and from a much grander place.
The biggest commitment that I will ever make is to invest fully in all of me, and not just what I would deem to be the acceptable parts. I realised that I hadn’t been aware of what truly investing in myself means in full, and that it is asking for me to be open to receiving all of myself – including the parts that are not true, serving me, or that I don’t like to look at. That when I do allow myself to receive all of me and come from my own innate rhythms I can make even greater choices and therefore truly better investments.
So if I am the greatest investment of all, then why did I not feel totally free, unwavering, complete and enough in myself where nothing more was needed – what was missing?
The truth is I had never trusted in myself enough, and so I could not possibly have invested in life choices that honoured the Beauty and Grand-ness of me that I am now feeling in full. I hadn’t allowed myself to know all of me, from that place of Greatness, Beauty and Trust in its absoluteness, for many reasons.
Now,as I know what is right and nurturing for me, and what is truly needed in my daily life as part of a rhythm that I choose for myself, all of those things in life – TV, movies, people, situations, food and making love etc. – are experienced from a new perspective, from a more open and alive part of me that has always been there but veiled by my way of life and its constant motion. I now choose to receive each moment from a place of stillness within me and experience life from there, from me first – so what’s not to enjoy?
I now know with absolute certainty,I AM my own best investor and the only one that can make the greatest choices for me, bringing in those healthy returns over and over again – and never bottoming out.
My own love, deeper appreciation, acceptance, allowance and exquisite grace, are the key to my living a full and true life not only for myself, but just as importantly for others – and I totally invest in that because I am absolutely worth it.
Everything begins and ends with me, it is that simple.
162 thoughts on “From Empty Returns to Investing in Me”
‘I know with absolute certainty, I AM my own best investor’, is a powerful statement. To me this feels a very claimed person. Why pander to all that is not you? All that we are either taught, reflected to be something we are not. When we are in that absoluteness of who we truly are, then we can live from that moment, that point, where nothing can touch us.
What a standard to be in, and it can only develop from there, and then, anything less will not do.
Getting to know oneself, deeply, truly and honestly is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
Getting to know oneself is the beginning of self-love, self care, and the rest that is around us, can take care of itself.
We can invest in outside superficial things that last only so long, or we can invest in the depth and quality of love that can come through us, and this latter investment is what we take with us when we pass over.
Thank you Julie – your blog and sharing asks us all to look deeper at our relationship with ourselves and the quality of this relationship, and really see what we have invested in, in a true sense and is now a strength and foundation and also what has been neglected and requires some loving up.
“I now choose to receive each moment from a place of stillness within me and experience life from there, from me first’. It’s a completely different way to receive life, instead of being in compromise, reaction, projection and expectation, etc – all things that come from the untrue parts of ourselves. This is exactly what I’m working on, allowing life to be how it is and stay connected to my stillness and observe. Thanks Julie, I appreciate how you have expressed this.
“it is asking for me to be open to receiving all of myself – including the parts that are not true, serving me, or that I don’t like to look at.” I am currently experiencing a deeper acceptance of myself including all the parts that are not true or in need of healing. It’s allowing me to embrace all of me and place no expectations as how I should be, just the ease, love and healing of my own acceptance. I am then able to just be completely with myself and support myself, which feels very loving.
Our love is like an untapped resource, we don’t go within to source love, we look outside of ourselves and can’t find what we are seeking because nothing outside of us meets what we need – which is always the love we are. Reconnecting to that love and living from it is an enormous wow, it has its ups and down just like a toddler learning to walk, but returning to my essence is an unparalleled experience.
What a great choice, to start investing in yourself, ‘The biggest commitment that I will ever make is to invest fully in all of me, and not just what I would deem to be the acceptable parts. I realised that I hadn’t been aware of what truly investing in myself means in full, and that it is asking for me to be open to receiving all of myself – including the parts that are not true, serving me, or that I don’t like to look at.’
The deep-humble-appreciative-ness I have gained from living the glorious me is absolutely profound and the reality is no-one can live or do this for you.
Investing in the purity of our essences is definitely the simplest way to deepen the Love we all innately all are.
Our life reflects the choices we have been making and it’s a sobering moment when the honesty hits us to feel the real quality of the returns we have been getting. It’s like, after everything we have done, only to realize the possibility of it actually eroding the richness and magnificence that was already there to begin with. And maybe, just maybe, it’s not about actually in doing even more, but letting go.
The choices that Julie discusses in her blog are made by many, ‘ you often get the momentary burst of excitement which kicks in the nervous system to accommodate your need that feels good at the time but is very short lived and leaves you with the dull hangover from the emotion used and the energy expended.’
We are, actually, the only people who can invest in ourselves and lay a foundation that feeds us back the Love we are from and honours the Love we are made of. The more I realise this the more I see the investment as one that benefits all not just myself.
Love it Lucy – for we are the only ones who can invest in ourselves and lay the foundation, but in so doing it inspires others to do likewise.
Recently it’s come to my awareness that another layer of mistrust has come to the surface. But if I don’t trust others it’s coming from a lack of trust in myself first. Any bugbear we have with others we have with ourselves first.
‘I realised that I can’t possibly feel or know the fullness of me or who I truly am at those times because I’ve chosen to not feel what I truly need and instead go with outside stimulation as a filler’ – we have a choice, even in the busiest moments of our lives, to choose our inner stillness, or outside stimulation and distraction. While the outside distraction might feel like the ‘easier’ go-to choice, so familiar and well-known, eventually we get to the point where nothing outside of us feels like it’s getting us anywhere, adding to our lives, but instead taking us further away from who we know ourselves to be. When we go within, what’s on the outside becomes an extension, an expression of what we already know, feel and have connected to – and not a replacement for it.
The simplest and most rewarding investment is in ourselves. As many have shared before, this love for ourselves and others is the richness that we pass over with, not the time we spend indulging in our favourite TV show, emotions, foods, etc.
You bring up a really interesting point here – are we investing in what we will pass over with or do we consider that there is nothing after we die so it doesn’t matter how we live? Either way, this is not a question of judgement, but how prepared we are to live in a way that sows seeds for others to reep after we are gone with no attachment to any outcomes. You never know, we may reincarnate to be a beneficiary of the seeds we laid!!
It didn’t take long during my first workshop with Serge Benhayon to realise that I had been investing in everything else in my life but very little in me. This was simply because I had spent a life-time searching outside of myself for the understanding of who I was, whereas all the while the greatest investment I could ever make was waiting inside; the price-less investment that is the wonderful and very wise me.
I recognise that one, searching outside of myself. I am so grateful to have found Serge Benhayon and be able, with his support, to see where I was not being loving and supportive of myself, and so change that around to bring love, support, nurturing and care to myself as a priority.
Life is a permanent movement to return to itself. When the only returns we get are empty this is very telling regarding the quality of our movements.
So simple, investing in ourselves first and yet, we make it complicated, unattainable and think we need to justify it – how can we invest in anything else if we don’t have a solid foundation of investing in ourselves first?
I think the trouble is we don’t see every single choice as an investment, we think we can watch tv as an isolated event and there be no consequence – but what if every tiny choice is an investment into a bank of quality, commitment, love, health and well-being or an investment into a bank of disregard, loneliness, laziness and abuse. Then perhaps we would consider all our choices more wisely.
It sounds like you and I were both unwise investors for most of our lives. I used to invest in all sorts of ventures but very little in assuring that my body was lovingly cared for. And of course, my body finally decided that this lack of investment had to stop, and so it has. Today I choose to invest in me; in the love and the care I give myself, the quality of the life I live, the work I do, the relationships I have and so much more. I now feel that I have so much in ‘bank of me’, but with a deeper level of self-care and self-love there can be even more; and it’s not just all for me but for humanity as well.
There are many social norms that tell us we are being self-centered or egocentric if we are focusing so much on ourselves. But as Julie has indicated here, it is through worrying about pleasing others and using outside things to fill an inner emptiness without nurturing ourselves first that we end up not only still feeling an emptiness but also we can not truly help others in that state of being.
“Everything begins and ends with me, it is that simple.” Yes and investing in ourselves is so worth it – better than any surplus in the bank.
That’s when we begin to discover what it truly means to be rich, when your most valued wealth is with you every step you take.
We often invest our energy and time into everything else but our selves, often leaving us feel empty and exhausted. To invest in ourselves is a choice that rewards us back in many ways, and offers a powerful reflection of how possible it is to truly evolve in this world.
Absolutely Anna, Our Livingness is an investment that has no bounds and “offers the most powerful reflection.”
Absolutely Anna, ‘ To invest in ourselves is a choice that rewards us back in many ways’.
When emptiness is in any way our point of departure (hence when emptiness is the filler of our lives), we can only get empty returns. Emptiness only returns to itself.
Great point here Eduardo – if we begin with the emptiness then this cannot expand to anything, whereas if we begin with the premise that we already are everything then bringing this back to a lived life (a resurrection in other words) is a given.
Looking back, I sure did invest in myself – spending money and energy, literally exhausting my resources only to leave myself empty – there was no commitment to myself. There is a way to invest to grow, to nurture, to enrich that relies on me having true interest.
I had a session recently where it was mentioned that my finances are another area of self-care. And it’s another reflection of how I am with myself.
Yes, keeping up to date with them, knowing what you owe and being aware of where you spend your money is such a great investment but it is often an area we put to one side and let build up to be ‘dealt with’ another day.
When we invest in and build our own self-worth we will always grow an ever expansive quality of return.
When we invest in and build our own self-worth we will always grow an ever expansive quality of return.
When I invest in me, everyone gains. And I loved the part about investing in accepting all of ourselves, even the imperfect parts rather than picking and choosing. Often the part of me that wants to be choosy never gets it right because that one peice will always lack without the whole. Nothing can be separate from everything else.
When we care for and nurture the seemingly small aspects of life this naturally cares for everything else both for ourselves and for others.
The beautiful thing about investing in ourselves, in being who we innately are, is that the returns are priceless, never-ending and enriching beyond compare, not only for ourselves in the life we live but equally so for all.
There are two paths down which we can travel – investment of self at the expense of all others with our every move made seeking security for ourselves, or investment in our true self that not only takes all others into the same equation but also ensures that every move is made in consideration to them. The former leads to an energetic bankruptcy in the sense we are constantly filling a hole that cannot be filled unless we bring more of the latter, our true self, into expression and in doing so become more aware of how our every move affects the all we are a part of and deeply appreciate our part in it. This is where the true riches are found.
When we invest in ourselves, everyone benefits, because we’re making ourselves feel cared for, looked after, loved – and not needing that from anyone or anything outside of us. A truly empowering way to be and live, that inspires others to live that way, too.
Julie I could so relate to your blog, I spent years achieving one thing after another, never being satisfied with the last achievement, yet I never gave my body a second thought, now my relationship with my own body is so much stronger and a great marker for me as to what something feels like in my body, and it is from there that I make my choices from which are so much more loving and supportive I no longer look for the next achievement because I already have all I need from inside myself.
“Of course you often get the momentary burst of excitement which kicks in the nervous system to accommodate your need that feels good at the time but is very short lived and leaves you with the dull hangover from the emotion used and the energy expended.” Some might ask “why would I want to give that up?” because in the initial excitement, stimulation, drama, whatever it is, we think we are living, but that’s only because we don’t know any different. If we do take the plunge and accept the call to make changes which involve not seeking these things to make life colourful, we realise there is joy beyond our imaginings just waiting within every last one of us to be felt and expressed.
What struck me when reading your words Julie is, how we have a whole life to invest in ourselves and we constantly do, but the outcome is determined by the quality we invest in with and not so much the outcome itself. Thus how content and joyful we are in life we can determine by how loving and caring we are with ourselves.
It’s interesting you mention the trust factor, Julie. Somewhere deep down we know about this – it’s even reflected in some of our financial language… we speak of ‘trust’ funds and ‘trustees’ along with investment and returns. It makes sense that we need to back ourselves in order to invest in ourselves. The same kind of dynamic is at play in the purely financial sense.
Investing in ourselves: the biggest return on investment we’ll ever realise, yielding riches that are a measure of true success.
It is interesting how we make life all about us but by searching in the wrong places, always outside of ourselves, and how simple and enjoyable life can be when we truly invest in ourselves by taking deep and loving care of ourselves and getting to know ourself inside out and with that bring our full potential to the world, always. That way we make it all about ourself but serve everybody else greatly and equally.
I love the fact, Julie, it is always there – the knowing – the feeling – what and how to do it, simply so. At times you may think you don’t have it but that is simply not true. We have it all in our bodies and how important is it then, as Julie proclaims, to deeply look after yourself and your body so you can always have and connect to it.
What better to invest in than yourself, ‘I am the greatest investment of all’, helping support you to know and live your, ‘ own love, deeper appreciation, acceptance, allowance and exquisite grace,’ which is key to you living a full and true life for self and others.