The Power of Showing your Vulnerability

By Kim Schultz

Last week I attended an event, and after dinner I left to drive home only to find some women outside discussing how they were going to walk to their cars in the dark. After giving the women some directions, I started to walk forward into the darkness when an ever so gentle tender voice emerged from behind me saying “I’m scared”.

The vulnerability in her voice absolutely melted me but after feeling that, instantly ‘the hard Kimberley bush girl’ kicked in and I had to stop myself saying “are you serious?!!”, as in the past I would have walked in the dark with snakes, cookie monsters and all. I became aware of that hardness kicking in from the realisation that my thoughts and the feeling of toughness in my body did not match that sweet tender vulnerable voice. I stopped myself from walking in the dark, found my handy ‘APP’ torch on my phone and guided the way to the car park for me and the other women.  

A week later I was lying in bed feeling fragile and was enjoying cuddles with my doggie when next minute I heard this voice from within me so clearly, like it was yesterday, saying “I’m scared”. Feeling those words spoken again with such tenderness I cried and cried until I felt I had just shed 20 layers of hardness away. I did not realise how hard I had made myself to not allow myself to feel scared about anything around others.

After crying I had a clear memory of my childhood; of when I was around 5 years old being forced to use the outside loo. It was dark and there was no outside light which was so scary as spiders lived in there! I would cry as I was so frightened to go outside alone – mum would growl ‘be happy’ that I didn’t have to walk all the way over there in the dark where it used to be and to be thankful it was closer!

It was so clear how I was spoken to, like something was wrong with me, to get on with it and stop being silly. I made sure to not show I was scared again and didn’t even realise I was hardening my gentle little body in the process. I cried deeply, feeling the impact it has had on me to not allow myself to feel scared, and the hardness I used to cover it with.

I remember when one of my friends would stay on the farm with us when I was a child. She would wake me up in the night for me to go to the loo with her. I would be so annoyed because it was like “if I can go out there on my own, well so can she!”.  It hurts me now to feel how much I had hardened as we could have held hands and walked outside together, feeling scared.

I am feeling so much sadness realising that I have gone through life like this, but it is such a celebration that now I no longer have to harden to hide that I am scared, from myself and others. WOW!! What a huge celebration to now feel that it is OK to allow myself to feel scared and to express that, without hardening to push through whatever situation. This has given me an incredible freedom – and permission to just be me.

THANK YOU so much to another beautiful tender woman for not hiding that she was scared to walk out in the dark. Having another woman expressing her vulnerability with so much freedom and honesty has cracked me open in more ways than one.

What I have learned: it is so important to express our fragility, our vulnerability, our natural tenderness, to reflect to another that it is ok to feel this way and not to hold the ideal/belief that this is being seen as weak.

Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon

118 thoughts on “The Power of Showing your Vulnerability

  1. The reflections of others are paramount in us all learning and growing together – when we see and hear another express from a vulnerability, it gives us permission to do likewise, which can be a huge healing especially if this is something we have denied ourselves for so long. And this is just one facet, whilst there are so many more qualities for us to learn to re-connect to ,and to show or express again. Hence why these reflections from others are so powerful, and likewise how our reflection is needed for others too.

  2. I recall being proud of myself for being able to deal with things around me and not complain (even if I felt my heart sink at how things were done or what we had to do), and I recall being proud of myself for hardening up the body and acting like a tough girl, one who could run barefoot on concrete like it did nothing to the feet or body, etc etc, And the list just goes on… all this was done to not let myself be in the body nor feel the body, and not be nor feel me. Thankfully this has changed hugely, but I am still finding it a process to let myself feel the extent that there is to feel through my body and be totally honest with this.

  3. Kim, thank you for this honest and endearing sharing which for me too has struck a cord – I too have learned in various ways to ‘toughen up’ as it has been seen as being ‘weak’ to voice any vulnerability, and I too am learning to let this go and simply be me, with no perfections, but also not seeing certain things (such as being vulnerable) as weaknesses any more.

  4. Kim thank you for sharing because by reading your blog it gives us all the potential to stop and remember those times especially when we were scared as a child and there was no one to turn to because our parents, siblings thought we were being silly. Just because someone says your being silly doesn’t stop the feelings so we stuff them down inside us and this is the process we go through which hardens our bodies. I’m not blaming our parents because they probably had been treated in a similar manner when they were children and so had suppressed their feelings. This blog could break the cycle that we have put ourselves into where we suppress our feelings for fear of seeming silly or stupid and carry this around with us as we grow up. By talking about these experiences it allows us to reevaluate and so discard what is holding us back from evolving.

  5. Many people seems so seccure of themselves but what’s on the inside? We all are super sensitive beings who can feel a lot through our day but we end up seeking through so many distractions in order to not feel. It takes so much energy to run against what we are feeling inside, pretending all it’s ok, that we can put a smile in our face and be happy when in truth we are feeling just the opposite. These days I’m being more aware about how I’ve protected and hardened up by pretending and trying to perform as the ‘confident, brave and strong’ woman by showing a façade that had nothing to do with how I really felt on the inside. This behaviour doesn’t makes sense for me today anymore as it brought me to feel even more miserable that I did. It is truly liberating and inspiring finding another way to live in which we just can be, with no judgment or need to fit in any expectations from outside, but allowing our body to speak as it does, so clear and wise. It’s more than ok feeling scared and it’s in this acceptance and no judgment of it that we can find the way to return to the most precious, tender, truly condifent and playful human beings we really are.

  6. My body settles and rest by reading you Kim. It’s a great support for me today being reminded about that it’s ok feeling scared, sad, fragile, vulnerable…this is not makes us weak but stronger and precious.

  7. It is great to show our vulnerability, and let go of our protection and hardness, ‘ it is so important to express our fragility, our vulnerability, our natural tenderness, to reflect to another that it is ok to feel this way and not to hold the ideal/belief that this is being seen as weak.’

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