Last week I listened to a very real and practical interview with a teacher. The interview was a personal sharing about connecting with kids that relates to what many teachers and kids are feeling in classrooms and homes today, and the behaviours that result from that.
Listening to the interview I had many ‘ah-ha’ moments about kids’ behaviour and what is going on in society today with children and the way we (as adults) are being with them. Well worth a listen…
The one aspect from the interview that I would like to focus on and share involves a very simple technique that has a quite powerful purpose and outcome. The teacher spoke about the importance of connecting with kids today and how very little children actually feel met and connected to. She shared that she started the class with a circle where each person was able to share.
I teach a class of children full-time and making it about the kids first has been a real priority for me for many years. Each day I pay attention to the way I prepare the classroom to support the children, how I speak with them and how I move my body. I make sure that each child knows that they are seen and listened to by the way I choose to engage with them from the moment they enter the room to when we say goodbye at the end of the day. I can vouch that connecting with kids first and making the day about how we are in the class leaves very little room for behaviour issues to be an ongoing problem.
So on one level I was already doing what this teacher was suggesting – a community circle was already part of our daily classroom rhythm. However, when I listened to the interview I felt there was more for me to explore. I know that when children (and all people) feel connected to, the environment feels more harmonious. We can always learn and even deepen in the way we connect and relate to others.
When we used to have community circle I always gave the children a mini-topic to relate their sharing to and I limited this to a sentence or two. I have now realised that even though this was still about them, there were rules about what I was asking them to express, i.e.,
- the topic at hand, and
- the ‘one or two sentences’.
What I was doing wasn’t bad and it was about taking a moment to be able to let each child feel heard by all first thing in the morning, to make sure I had looked into the eyes of each child. Naturally this little technique built their confidence to speak in a group and allowed them to be more supportive of each other in their relations during the day.
But there was more for me to look at… the teacher’s words in the interview offered me a potential to deepen this connection. I had never thought to say “Just share one thing.”
Also, during this circle time I now sit on the floor with the children, in the circle, as compared to sitting in the circle on a little chair. Both of these little changes have made a HUGE difference in our day. These small changes, which have been done in connection with the kids, are actually making a difference in these children’s lives. They are feeling heard and completely met. This has all come from my willingness to deepen the connection with children in the classroom.
Our class now feels like it is just filled with a group of people who connect, then get on with their different roles… A room full of people of different ages who support each other and who are making an effort with the way they are choosing to be in the room and with each other.
By Johanna Fredericks, Bachelor of Education, Perth
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
We all have our unique expression on earth even though we are all equal and so allowing the space for a child to grow with that appreciation of themselves is a great gift.
Yes so true – connection is everything and it is so crazy that we live in a world where this is not number one principle lived (if lived at all).. So what we teach our young – we will see in the future.. And so, our education system must be based on connection first – before the practicals of studying etc. comes. As we can see, we need a different outcome for our future (new generation) , so we might wanna try connection out as first.. We can now, so why would we not give it a go?
All children have their own individual personalities and no two children are the same, the deeper we connect with them the more they express as themselves and the more we learn from them and about them too.
When children feel heard and simply met for who they are, there is often less disruption because they know they don’t need to compete for any attention because it has already been given and that connection is still there regardless of what tasks they go on to do during the day, because the foundation has already been laid.
I love what you bring to everyone Johanna, both in the classroom and through these blogs, teachers like yourself are so important for all of humanity.
What a difference it makes from the willingness to connect.
Johanna I loved this part, ‘Also, during this circle time I now sit on the floor with the children, in the circle, as compared to sitting in the circle on a little chair.’ I have always found that when we bring ourselves down to the same eye level or as close as we can, doing the same as children are, there is an equality between everyone which lays a great foundation to work from.
What you are bringing to the children in your classroom is priceless Johanna, ‘I can vouch that connecting with kids first and making the day about how we are in the class leaves very little room for behaviour issues to be an ongoing problem.’ To feel heard and completely met is what we all truly desire.
True connection and intimacy is the foundation of harmonious group work – love how you are supporting and connecting with the kids in your class Johanna, and I’m sure this is helping them in every aspect of their lives, not just when they are at school.
The beauty of holding all in equalness – regardless of age or ‘position’. Johanna, you have spoken of the fundamentals of being a true teacher – who holds her ‘charges’ in the equalness of love, and is ever-willing to explore and go deeper in the relationships she has with her students.
After all, who is really ‘teaching’ who?
Teachers such as you Johanna are gold and very needed in the schooling system that has forgotten the importance of connecting to the children and allowing them to be who they truly are – the more we do this children can feel valued and accepted to be at school without feeling the pressure to perform or compete against others.
This is like many others a very important topic, connecting with kids or connecting with people. It’s great to see the message I take from this article, always be flexible to see the next part no matter who is talking to you or when and where it comes from. So often we can close off in the ‘I’m already doing that’ or ‘yeh I know’ way that limits how we can expand or grow into the next moment. There is forever something for us to learn from every interaction with a person or really every interaction with everything. There is always a deeper point to see and that maybe just the true appreciation of everything we are already doing. The true connection to someone in any moment is always the key, no matter what is being said or what you are already doing, it’s the quality of the presence and not the doing or done that holds true.
Wow. How would this generation of adults be different if we had experienced this kind of connection and honouring of us as children in the school system. So many can relate a deeply scarring experience at the hands of a teacher or school mates and so many have had the experience of one teacher who has held them in equalness and allowed inspiration to ignite in them, such that they have transformed their lives. School is a critical phase and we owe it to ourselves to bring this level of connection and support to everyone teachers and students alike.
A gorgeous article of the power in truly meeting children for who they are. It makes so much sense that when you connect to kids it leaves little room for behavioural issues… this should be common knowledge in the education system and the foundation of all classrooms.
Johanna I wished you would have been my teacher and I love what you have shared. Now I am wondering why this way of being with kids in school is not a normal way to be?
The first time I felt met – By Simone Benhayon – CHANGED MY WORLD! I felt like a born again boy, So expansive and so receptive. By far the most influential single thing someone else has done for me
We all want to be met, to feel that connection with others. Its amazing, yet so obvious that doing something as simple as truly connecting with students can bring so much harmony to a classroom.
“Just share one thing”. I love this. I volunteer in a primary school and listen to children reading, individually. As they get to know me, at the beginning of a new term, they open up and each week we talk more. I see my role as meeting and connecting with each child, not just about focussing on their reading ability – that is the tool I use to support, encourage and appreciate them. I have the luxury of time and also so appreciate classroom teachers.
I love this. It really highlights how powerful willingness to evolve is when actioned.
What a beautiful way for children to start their day, by being met and knowing that they have been heard, a great foundation to lay at the start of each day.
Beautiful Johanna. This is true education in connecting, in sharing and listening to each other as equals that is a lesson in life that will be felt long after the children have left school.
What children crave is a true connection and to be meet to start the day in this way is a beautiful support for both the children and the teacher.
It is quite shocking to experience how education is about a lot of aspects that don’t have anything to do with connection and that kids are basically raised to be this individually focused skilled vehicles that perform (or rebel) in a world that has totally lost connection. Life is about connection, why should education be about something else?
This is great experience you share Johanna. It is often very subtle how we still condition others in their expression and how much more we can expand when we are allowed to simply be.
The thing that I love most about what you are sharing Johanna is that these regular start of the school day connections is how really important they are for the children (and most definitely any teachers or others in the room too). Not only are they feeling heard, but they are also learning to truly listen and understand others. A great foundation for life.
A positive example you have set Johanna, connection must be the basis of The Education system
What a beautiful environment for everyone, both children and teacher, to learn from! For many children this may well be the first time in their lives that they have felt heard, understood and appreciated. I am just imagining how powerfully inspiring that would be for them. I’m grateful that there are teachers such as yourself Johanna, who are working with children in this way because there is no doubt in my mind that the impact is huge.
Truly wise and inspiring words, Johanna, with application beyond the classroom into all walks of life. ‘We can always learn and even deepen in the way we connect and relate’. It just comes from a willingness to recognise our equalness with another, meet them, hear them, acknowledge them and honour them. Simple really and really simple – yet we often override this simplicity in favour of time, expediency and effort. Your example shows how even through the smallest of changes great things can occur. An exquisite lesson for us all.
When children feel ‘met’ it is a game changer , the child’s life can literally change direction from that simple interaction… and if an educator embodies this then many children will be blessed by that person.
Connection first followed by academia, thanks Johanna
Thank you Johanna for sharing your willingness to go deeper and be inspired to introduce changes that have increased the sense of connection for everyone. This is so crucial and will give the children you teach a solid foundation to build on as they move through their lives. Priceless and so needed as we get more ways of communicating but many feel increasingly disconnected from the rest of humanity.
The world needs teachers who support and connect with the children in this way. This is essential as the foundations we raise our children up with is the world that will be in the future.
Thank you Johanna for a beautiful blog, for these young children in your care, to be met with such simple love is empowering for them.
I can’t help but see the potential for a parallel approach in business. Bosses connecting with their immediate teams in a way that’s authentic, that meets each person, every day. Sitting in amongst them rather than hierarchically elevated in an office. It’s happening in those organisations where people really do matter to the bottom line, but in others the lack of real connection between people leaves many institutions soul-less places where people only allow their real selves to manifest once they’ve left the building. Not a great way to spend the day.
I love the feeling of equality you brought to the classroom Johanna by choosing to sit on the floor with the students.
Absolutely Elizabeth as they’re not seen, felt fully and valued for the bright sparks that they truly are.
And the children naturally have a deeper respect for any adult who is prepared to meet them at their level. It’s wise to remember that we can learn much from children and that it’s not always the other way around.
I love how the little changes you have made make a huge difference. It reminds me to deeply pay attention to the details of how I am with others in every sphere of life.
The principal of connection not only applies to the classroom but every aspect of life. If we sit down and truly listen to how connection can be enhanced between human beings miracles can be made. Just don’t hold back when the opportunity for connecting arises, even if it seems abnormal.
I like how you made it about connection first, letting a child know they are truly seen and valued, that what they have to say is important.
Johanna, it is great to be reminded about the value of connecting with each other including children. They have little bodies but their expression is equally valuable as an adult’s.
I trust that one day Johanna will end up running the education department at least in her state… How extraordinary that would be to have someone running this enormous juggernaut who truly truly cared about children, and not just caring, because many do, but with such a wealth of practical experience about how to bring out the best in our children
I absolutely agree..”I can vouch that connecting with kids first and making the day about how we are in the class leaves very little room for behaviour issues to be an ongoing problem.” I find when I am out, they feel out and when I am connected to me, it makes way for opportunities for the kids to connect with themselves with ease. Time and time again this has been proven to me.
This is lovely Johanna. To understand and bring focus and awareness to the power of truly connecting to someone can never be underestimated. To bring that to each child in a class of over 25 is glorious – just a glimpse, a brief connection – is life changing to children. We are after all, all human beings who crave love and connection; could the lack of love and connection in education be behind student disengagement? We all know what we are talking about here because we have all felt the lovelessness at one time in our own education. It hurts and feels lonely. How amazing Johanna you are leading the way in presenting what true education is – connecting to children to provide the opportunity for them to connect and discover themselves.
I love the way your own awareness developed through this process, particularly ditching the small chair and becoming ‘one of them’. True equality, true meeting on the same level. Lovely.
I have noticed what a difference it makes when we connect to people at work rather than just focusing on the task at hand. If we make ourselves at least as important as the task at hand it shifts the energy and amount of care we extend to each other.
The way you are treating the children in your class is how all children should be treated, more focus on connection and less on competition
A very inspirational sharing Johanna – I feel not only do children benefit so much from connecting in this way with each other but us adults we can also learn a thing or two about how communicating in this way is so beneficial. When reading “just share one thing” I was smiling could adults share just one thing early in the morning without going into lots of detail?
Developing a true connection to ourselves and others so we all can express with confidence lays the foundation for a healthy classroom, a healthy home, a healthy workplace… a healthy world. Great blog Johanna.
Thank you Johanna, working with young children I find these practical shadings inspirational.
It’s the quality in the simpleness that rings true to how you have been connecting to the children you teach. This is the part that needs to be appreciated again and again.
Wow. There so many problem behaviours and bullying at school these days – what a difference it would make if it was first and foremost about connection in the classroom.
Johanna your love for, and dedication to, the children you teach is deeply inspiring. Like you Elodie, I could feel the increased equality and intimacy sitting on the floor created and, by allowing the children to share something of their own choosing, an opening for a deeper, truer expression. This is a far cry from the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ attitude that was around when I was growing up. We are all teachers, we all have much to offer each other by way of love and lived experience. Through true unguarded expression we understand ourselves and others and connect more deeply to who we innately are. Thank you Johanna and Christy for this ‘lesson’ in love, equality and truly meeting others.
Awesome Johanna. I really felt the difference it made when you sat with the children on the floor as opposed to sitting on a chair, which would have separated you as an adult from them as kids. This one little move, I can imagine, instantly makes the children feel an equalness between all which allows that connection to be deeper and more joyful. So great!
Little things do make a huge difference Johanna. The simplicity of a conversation has the power to change everything.
Absolutely children are missing the connection with people and the results are all around us. Kids are not lighthearted any more, and are caught in the world of social media and the likes, trying their to be met and considered for who they are. I see kids in pain and really with no where to turn for true support anymore. The adults are just as caught in their busy lives and many do not have the time to spend even for a short period without distraction with their children.
I have been reflecting on my relationships at work and how to bring more of ‘me’ to each of those relationships, to bring what I have learnt about connecting to me first and the difference that has made in my life. Reading your blog Johanna, I realise that there is nothing more I need to bring, but simply be present with all of me. It will be in that presence, and the absolute appreciation of those I am with, absolute acceptance of what unfolds and absolute love in meeting them, that is the ‘Way’. Thank you for being the messenger of what I needed confirmed.
This is a whole new way of teaching our kids, from connection first.
As Serge has said before, what we remember from school are the teachers well before the lesson itself. That is so true for me, and the stronger my connection was with the teacher, the more I remember from those classes, because I felt I was part of the lesson and not someone just listening in.
Connecting with children and making them feel truly met is so vital for their well being as it is for everyone. If they are met and cared for this way, this is the measure of how we should be in the world, and children brought up this way have the ability to change the world simply by truly ‘meeting’ the next generation.
This is awesome..”We can always learn and even deepen in the way we connect and relate to others.” I will make this my choice within my own classes and indeed my own life from now on…Starting with ME!
I loved reading your blog Johanna. From doing these simple things each morning, you have created a wonderful environment for the children, and one in which they feel your connection and support.
I know that it’s not the same as a teacher who has to be present every day, communicating and meeting the children, and to whom I continually feel a great sense of appreciation, but I do teach children sometimes in primary schools mainly, and quite often 400 or so at one time. As you say Johanna, the essence of what I do is to make sure I ‘connect with” or ‘ meet” as many children as possible as they come in the door… That’s when the magic happens, and when this happens, we can just spend the rest of the time having as much fun as possible singing and expressing.
Reading this beautiful blog makes so much sense to me… ”connecting with kids first and making the day about how we are in the class” is desperately needed in our schools. I know I would have certainly found school to be a much more enjoyable place to be in if I’d had this connection.
Thank you chanly88. This is a great sharing as, though you experienced this as a child, it shows how the teacher then had an impact on you as you remember the love and support you felt. It is inspiring to read how there have always been teachers like this around.
It would be great to do this in every work setting as adults before we start our working day.
What this shows is that connection brings true equality. Thank you Johanna.
Connection first (1)! Allowing children to express without constriction is a very special thing as the education system rarely allows this and is always under a topic or theme.
This develops a level of confidence that says ‘what you have to share means something no matter if it is related to the class topic’.
Is there any room in your classroom for me a big kid , Johanna?
Sounds like a beautiful way to meet the children and allow them to learn to express themselves with truth and love .
This is awesome Johanna. Life is about building loving connections and the commitment and love you share with your students will impact them for life. Fantastic.
An awesome blog Johanna. It sounds like you have a wonderful connection with all the children and your willingness to take it to a deeper level is inspiring.
For the most part life as children see it is very simple so for us to complicate or take away from this glorious simplicity is a huge disservice. Thank you for mentioning the interview, I am going to it now.
That sounds like a lovely class to be a part of. That’s pretty amazing that in a class like that where you meet all of the children so they know they are seen and heard as equals, that you don’t have on-going behaviour problems… that’s something well worth sharing.
Johanna I could really feel your love and commitment, not only with the connection and beauty of your classroom…. but with the world.
You are very inspiring and this is much needed. THANK YOU. 🙂
Very inspiring Johanna! Such a lovely way to start a day at school! I am currently dealing with High School kids most of whom come every day tired, grumpy, checked out, etc. They are the end result of not being met. Your stiudents get a real blessing. They will never forget you because you taught them not to forget themselves.
‘They will never forget you because you taught them not to forget themselves.’ And from there they can explore any aspect of the education of life in the solidity of knowing who they are. The best gift any teacher can share.
Little things like sitting on the floor in an equal position to everyone else and allowing each child to share something and maybe yourself too brings a potential to go deeper. This supports our connections with each other and also support for one another to blossom. It feels like your classroom is evolving and a really lovely place to be.
Awesome to read of you putting yourself on the floor with the children in circle time, I have also found children are more responsive when I don’t put myself above them or talk down to them. The more they feel valued the better the outcome for the children. It feels like you are creating a classroom of responsible citizens Johanna, great to read your sharing.
Yes! I have always found children more responsive when you come down to their level. It’s interesting because you are literally coming down to their level but also there is often a inequality of power among teachers and children where the teacher holds themselves above them, and just as when you literally come down to their level, when you see yourself as not above the child it is deeply felt
I especially loved this part Johanna.. “Also, during this circle time I now sit on the floor with the children, in the circle, as compared to sitting in the circle on a little chair” as it feels completely equalising sitting on the floor with the kids and not seated in any other hierarchy. This ‘sitting’ can be applied symbolically to every relationship we have professionally as well as personally.
Yes Zofia whenever someone approaches an interaction in humility and equality it is deeply felt and allows for the possibility of true connection.
Thank you Johanna for this inspirational blog. It is so important to meet everyone on a level of equality, regardless of role, position or age.
Stopping each day and looking into someone’s eyes to connect is such a great feeling. Thanks for sharing this experience in your classroom and how this can lend itself to any workplace or home.
Looking someone in the eyes is such a beautiful way of connecting and being with the person, especially when you really allow yourself to hold them with your eyes – something that we don’t do enough of with children, but also with adults, friends, family and our own partners too – I can certainly say that though I make a focus of connecting with my eyes and how I am with the people I encounter at work, I do tend to slack off and forget to give this same to my family at home, often under the guise of being tired, or having too much on etc. This is not something that is particularly pleasant to realise, but now I know I have something to work on: so…dear family, hold onto your hats now, I will certainly ‘see’ what wonders I can work at home with you all…
As others have commented the small changes may seem small but every detail counts and affects the whole. Thank you Johanna for some practical tips for being with children, something I will take into my volunteering job and thank you for the link to Kids in Connection.
Thank you Johanna, your classroom feels fun and harmonious. I also work with children and there are some inspiring tips shared here to help deepen this connection :).
Very inspiring Johanna. What a difference simple changes can make, establishing a deeper connection with children.
Gorgeous Johanna … I’d love to be in your classroom … People in connection feeling how and where they are in the day .. Yum!
Lovely blog Johanna, these are simple practical ideas that you share and it’s amazing how they can make such a huge difference in deepening the connection with children. Well done.
Lovely blog Johanna, something we can take to all our relationships in life not just children.
Gorgeous and inspiring sharing, so beautiful, I can just see you sitting in a circle on the floor with all those kids. Looking them into the eyes and truly connecting I will take this into my day, thank you.
Very touching, Johanna, great share. I take it with me for my work with…grown up kids, people like you and me.
Yes Caroline this is a great share. Feeling met and being able to connect with others so you can express with confidence is as equally important for both the little people and big people of the world – and yes I agree we can easily take this to our own workplaces and own homes.
It is the small changes, however small that can make a huge difference in the classroom and which really support the children and they in turn will feel this too. It is heart warming as Doug mentioned that you are making it all about connection with the children first, and is very inspiring.
Thank you, Johanna for sharing these simple suggestions for a deeper connection with children. We have recently had our very young grandson staying with us for a few days and I could feel the difference when I sat on the floor and played with him rather than sitting in a chair. When I was also sitting on the floor, we were playing together.
I love your blog Johanna. It’s so beautiful to read how you are with these children. From my experience of education i’ve often read how teachers are to have ‘high expectations’ of the children they teach. And yet there is a degree of controlling the children that is introduced to prevent and or deal with behaviour issues. I suspect many in education wouldn’t believe that a class could be so harmonious as the class I feel you describe. Simply gorgeous.
It is lovely to re-connect with this beautiful blog and be reminded that ‘We can always learn and even deepen in the way we connect and relate to others’. I know when I first began to look at the way that I expressed I was only looking at the words – and as your blog says it is so much more than this. It is the way that I hold my body, my facial expressions, my tone of voice and my hand gestures – and whether I am truly connected to me – or whether I am always anticipating the next move.
I love that you put it this way Doug ‘ … at the expense of the children the system is there to serve …’ It’s because we haven’t set up the system to serve the children that it is the way it is today. Thankfully we have Johanna and others who go to school to meet the children so they have a chance of growing up confident in who they are.
How lovely Johanna. I tell you the children you work with are so blessed to have you as their teacher, but I bet you feel the same about them. Reading your blogs on teaching inspires us to bring these qualities into any profession we work in. Thank you Johanna.
I love the last line, how it feels like a room full of people just getting on and supporting each other. I really get the importance of talking to children on the same level, not talking down or at children but as the equals that they are. A super important topic.
Johanna your blog was very interesting to read. It’s great that you are open and willing to keep making adjustments to how you do things so that you can deepen the connection you share in your classroom.
This is awesome Johanna. Whatever age a person is they deserve to be met. You are offering these children an opportunity to develop an awareness to know and feel what it is to truly meet another. Very inspirational.
Well said Tim, I fully agree with you, what Johanna is offering is priceless and as you say, people of all ages deserve to be truly met for who they are.
Well said Tim. what I feel is also so inspirational in this article is your willingness, Johanna, not to just accept what is working but to keep looking to go deeper – and how by making the two little changes, that happened. I am sure you have not stopped there but have deepened further since writing this. This going deeper is something we can all take into our everyday living. When I do that I find it so enhancing.
This is great Johanna. Thank you for sharing this blog as I have now listened to the interview you speak of and found it a huge inspiration. Simple and effective techniques that make a huge difference to children. I love how the interview covers how we can fall in to not fully connecting with children (and adults too) as we find ourselves busy trying to reach a goal and it seems like we have blinkers on as we see only the goal and not who is around us as we proceed at speed through the day.
Again thank you, a hugely inspirational blog and one to share.
I love how two simple changes made a difference in the classroom and also even though there was already a connection established with the children that you were willing to accept there could be more and deeply so. Beautiful and an inspiration – Thank you, Johanna.
Thank you Johanna and Julie, I agree, there can always be more and when we open up and allow children to express, then who knows what may happen? Maybe they will run the class and the teacher just supervise.
It’s beautiful to read Johanna, the concept of sitting in the circle and meeting each child as they “share just one thing” and the flow on effect that has on the daily functioning of the class. Supporting each other and how they choose to be in the class, and with each other. Feels like an amazing classroom to be in connection with!
I love this. I’ve been going into my local primary school in the UK for a few years now, to listen to the children read one to one, or do whatever is needed in the classroom and just love to connect with the children. I also asked to be called by my first name, unlike the others who are Mrs or Miss so and so. It feels much more equal that way. I feel inspired by your post and intend to connect deeper when I move to a new area soon and find a new school to volunteer in.
Thank you Johanna for this beautiful and inspiring blog. I can really feel the ‘wholeness’ coming in when you say you now sit down on the floor with the children and ask them to share one thing – this lets them know to select something and yet doesn’t limit them.
I have recently encountered (when doing some tutoring for HSC students) that some students have trouble putting a couple of sentences together when they are wanting to express. It would be so great to have teachers lovingly allowing them to express at an early age so that their confidence is not lost.
Do any of the children ever say that they haven’t anything to share that day?
So simple and yet so beautiful.
I agree, I love reading about simple, practical little changes people make – and hearing about the amazing differences it makes to their lives and the lives of the people around them. Thank you for sharing, Johanna
Me too Cheryl, It is extremely inspiring to read how people are making simple, practical yet extremely profound changes in their lives and the knock-on effects that is having.