When I was growing up, I very quickly got the impression from others that feelings were for wusses, and wusses were soft people who have trouble living in this world. I was shown that to be a real man was to have strength, and strength was something that comes from what you can do physically, but never from what you can feel.
When I was a young boy I felt gorgeous, play-full, cute and very tender – quite simply because I was! When I played with my friends early on at school, I remember we all seemed to feel how amazing we were and this made playing with each other so much fun – I had such an awesome time at school when I was a young boy!
Gradually though, I noticed as school progressed that playing with my friends seemed less play-full, less free, and more rough and hard. I started to feel the shifts in the boys in the playground. There was a self conscious shift that started to take place about not wanting to be seen as anything less than how a boy ‘should be’, or what games a boy ‘should play’, in case he was seen as anything less than how a boy ‘should behave’.
I too started to take this on and began to make myself feel small and much less than what I knew myself to be on the inside so that I didn’t stand out as being different.
I thought that when others around me were beginning to shut down their feelings by not expressing their awesome-ness that I needed to follow them, and not stay with my joyful, natural self.
I sometimes wonder how I can express to others the fact that I am actually loving life and loving being me in it, when other people are finding life hard and boring or tough and a struggle. Would they find this too hard to hear? Perhaps they may not even like me for it. Often I feel the pull to dull down how great my day has been so others won’t feel so bad.
What I have come to realise though, is that actually staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.
Not so long ago I met someone who reminded me of what I had forgotten – my amazingness. As we talked I could feel that they loved me absolutely for who I was. It was awesome to feel the space this created between us… words weren’t really needed as the love we were feeling between us was so lovely. This person helped remind me that I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.
What I have come to realise is that the feelings of being weak or powerless that I had at school were just my choosing to take on decisions others had made, and not honouring what I felt. True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.
Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine (UniMed) and Serge Benhayon
By Josh Campbell (20) living in Christchurch, New Zealand
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
‘I just need to give that permission to myself’ is simply a great reminder that we essentially don’t need anything from anyone, it’s from within that we all behold the magnificence.
Observing life is simple, because in that observation we realise that we live in a playground. Our responsibility is to see what plays out and let it be, without getting caught in the games or calamity.
Standing out for being joyful can be challenging if we are used to hiding it from fear of being different or from fear of reaction or retaliation from another. And yet it is what is needed in a our world so that we are all reminded of what is indeed possible for us all to choose.
Yes Henrietta, indeed standing out is challenging, despite the labels we can be called. That true reflection is needed for others that we all have true joy, a quality that we have strayed far from as well as many others. It only require one to reflect this to another, and all we need to do is to allow that magic to do the rest.
I too recall the simplicity and amazingness of being younger and connecting with other children to play. It was so natural just to be, and then to meet another who was just being as well just ignited the ‘being’ even more…magic at play.
Thank you Joshua for a heartfelt and powerful blog with the last sentence summing it all up superbly: “True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.”
Gorgeous Josh, yes, we all love the lightness and joy another brings, ‘staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.’
“True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.” What a powerful definition of strength that turns the generally accepted one on its head.
” I just need to give that permission [to be all of me] to be myself.” How liberating it is to live from authority.
Could it be that we have had so many life times of adversarial conduct that we quickly loose our way when we are asked to toughen up? And as you have shared Joshua, when we get a True reflection of our True Love, sensitivities and feelings, which are our strengths we can change patterns from many life times.
This has reminded me how as a child I took growing up to mean being able to find fault with the world and its people, and basically be grumpy and hard. How our sensitivity gets twisted to fit into this world is just incredible.
All the ideals we create for genders are quite frankly bullying – what could hurt more than squeezing yourself into a mould that is not only nothing like you naturally are, but so, so much less? We are reliant on a form of intelligence that is a little bit too clever for its own good, we instruct children on how they are to be when they are already a complete package and naturally able to be who they are. The truth about ideals is that they are imposing and abusive. Love on the other hand just lets you be.
Beautifully expressed Melinda – it is abuse and self abuse to have any ideals or beliefs or expectations placed upon self or another. Love really is the only antidote.
I feel we do not live in a world that respects feelings they seem to be something that is not allowed. Replace feelings with thoughts and you are naturally accepted as part of humanity. I wonder why it is that we are uneasy with the feelings of tenderness, fragility, delicateness, that is naturally part of who we are and yet we shun them. However if you are in the presence of a baby they display all these feelings and we love them for it, this doesn’t make any sense to me.
It’s an intense situation for children (and adults) to find themselves in an environment where we are not fostered to simply be ourselves. It’s a huge pressure really to live to outer rules and cues, to be on guard, to bury our natural expression, and then when asked how we are say “I’m fine.” It takes so much energy to hide who we are and live without connection to ourselves.
I agree Elizabeth, we are all blessed when men are being their true selves.
The world needs more men like you Josh that are willing to stand in their strength and power and not be afraid to express their tenderness, this is deeply healing for all.
Yes!!!!!! Lets flip this totally on its head and make being sensitive Awesome and actually pretty cool and feeling our Amazingness as normal. Love it ✨
No one kind of person has exclusivity having trouble living in the world. We all have one way or another. This says a lot regarding the lack of fitness between our nature the world we live in.
Living who we are with no inhibitions is very healing for us all, as we offer the reflection of how Soulfulness is our true way of being.
“I just need to give that permission to myself.” It sounds so simple, and in truth it is. Letting go of the ideals and beliefs one has taken on from others is just a choice, which becomes easier and easier to do the more one does give that permission to oneself.
What truly fascinates me is that when we look back on our childhood we have this sense of making a certain choice to follow ‘others’ and not being the one that initiated that choice, but if we all feel ‘others’ were doing it first, who is that ‘others’?
What a great question Fumiyo.
Which leeds us to many more great questions, to be “others” or not-to-be-others may-be also a question?
Yes, who on earth are we all following?
Our noses as we can smell the detail and that feeling is our strength in detail of “other”.
To be “others” or not-to-be-others may-be also a question? Once that is raised and other than the simple answer that we are never alone the “others” is our choice of energy that we are aligned to and thus there is a known. So who that other is as Joshua has shared, can be the Love we innately are, “as the love we were feeling between us was so lovely” and we only need to make a loving choice to re-connect to our essences (Love), other-wise we can become lost in the physicality of life.
There are so many false pictures about how a man should act and be in the world, they are miles away from honouring the true man with their tenderness and gentleness. I love it when I am around a man expressing in their tenderness and gentleness, we need to confirm young boys and men in this and stamp out the old ideals where men are supposed to ‘toughen up’, this shuts men down and is causing many issues amongst men as we are seeing more young men suicide so clearly the current model isn’t working or supporting them to express who they truly are.
I can really relate to this blog so much. This waiting around to be given permission to be me thing is particularly in my face right now. When I am feeling amazing so many people also light up…more than those that struggle or attack/react now I think about it.
Not giving myself permission really hurts.
Leigh, I love what you have shared here and it is an experience that so many of us can relate to. Permission here is the key word.
The lightness of being that we can feel when we truly appreciate ourselves and our amazingness also has a profound and loving ripple effect on everyone around us.
This is such a beautiful sharing Josh and one every young boy who is growing out of boyhood needs to read. I see all around me tender boys approaching 13 who are starting to hide that tenderness and sensitivity and take on the beliefs of what it is to be a man. The games are getting harder and the language is changing as well. But they still have moments of reverting back to the naturally tender boy they are, and this is always so joyful to see and to feel.
The consciousness of what is to be a man is very strong. It is very difficult to escape it. Yet, it is truly harming us. It forecloses and taxes any relationship with what is natural for us. The result is well known.
Honouring ourselves, the way we feel, and what we actually truly see, is a great foundation for deepening connection with our own inner heart, and our self-love that is essential for our evolution.
All those ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ that impose on us as we are growing up prevent us from being who we naturally are.
If we go about making decisions based on what someone else has chosen that is less, then we are not offering a different reflection, a different angle of how something could be if chosen in connection with self.
It is very inspiring to feel your return to the former glory of who you truly are in essence. And the beautiful thing is that we all get to know and be met by the real you. As when live in connection to who we are we offer inspiration for others to feel the beauty, the true strength and the love that also equally are, and how freeing and empowering it feels to just be and express our real selves.
“What I have come to realise though, is that actually staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.”
I agree Josh there is nothing more joyful and confirming to be all of you feelings, strengths, weaknesses, and all.
This is so true Josh, and great to remind us all, ‘I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.’ Absolutely.
Expressing who you are in your fullness all the time is a gift for all, ‘ staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.’
It sure is Lorraine – it is the living truth that this world needs so so much more of. As this is our true purpose for being here.
Giving ourselves permission to be ourselves, so simple, yet we so easily choose to forget, however when we are living in full permission of ourselves we get to feel the true strength and love we hold within.
School is a difficult place to be in. Most of us don’t get valued for who we are, and this is where the shutting down of who we are gets compounded.
The moment we step away from what we feel is true within us – the innate sensitivity, fragility, grace and love we are means we are choosing less. The forces in childhood are pretty full on for children the moment they enter school and in reflection feel like an assault energetically. There are many beautiful parents now gaining more awareness of the shift that is taking place and supporting their young ones to stay connected to their inner heart – this is so beautiful to witness.
Thank you Josh… And when we allow ourselves to truly express what we do feel it is like a spark is lit inside us, and this transforms us from the inside out.
What you are sharing Josh is so important and powerful for everyone to hear. There are so many people in the world living their entire lives without honouring what they feel or expressing this to others. There is much to learn and appreciate when we make this simple choice to honour ourselves especially for men who are expected to toughen up and deny what they feel, it is beautiful you are offering a true reflection Josh that allows men to know there is a different choice to make.
This blog says so much about our society – especially the utter hardness if not brutality in which we hold our boys and our men, as a rule… ‘Toughen up’ is clearly NOT the answer – one need only look at the rates of male suicide to see that our allowance of this culture is depriving men of their capacity to speak and express openly, acknowledge all that they feel (the true strength, as you’ve shared so well Josh) and maintain and honour the sensitivity of the boy throughout their lives.
We all feel, we all experience hurt, we all bleed – the same – men and women alike. And the endemic ‘harden up’ culture we’ve fostered is not only fuelled by men, it is fuelled by any woman who in any way, wants a man to be ‘tough’, to carry others burdens, and not to show all that he is, openly so.
This is very powerful Josh, and thank-you for sharing all that you have here. How would our world be, if we held onto all that we innately are, and did not succumb and ‘dull down’ in order to fit in, and potentially, not rock anyone’s boat?
It takes true strength indeed to do this, and also to reclaim ourselves when we recognise that the path we’ve taken – the choices we have made – haven’t really served us or anyone else for that matter, when it comes down to it.
Our world deserves us all to shine and be unapologetic for the naturalness of our being.
Such an insightful blog into life as a young boy to man and how they are squashed into this box that they do not truly belong too.
Josh, what a great sharing; the idea that we take on the decisions of others and not honour our own feelings had me …. honestly when it’s put that clearly it sounds crazy and yet that is what I’ve done and indeed can still do. It’s quite amazing how much we can allow ourselves to fall into the herd, so as not to stand out, but in fact it does nothing except confirm more misery in the world, and we’re lying to ourselves and everyone in it. So it truly is about giving ourselves permission to be us, no matter what and allowing others the grace to do the same. That’s what is truly inspiring when we are simply just ourselves. It’s magic, thanks Josh for reminding me of this simple thing.
And humanity is waiting for it….craving to see how to just be and live in this world.
It is astounding to consider that inside each and every little boy at the school playground, there is someone who is highly sensitive and aware, but perhaps is struggling to know how to keep this or to express this part of them in daily life and in society in general. And this is where I feel that role models come in as such a strong part of human life.
This is so very important for all of us, to give ourselves permission to express the joy we feel inside and not to dim it down because of outer circumstances. It is, as you say Josh, something the world so very much needs.
What a gorgeous line Joshua “words weren’t really needed as the love we were feeling between us was so lovely”, and how true this is when love is present. You have highlighted something beautiful that I experience regularly in my life, and this is now something I will appreciate more and more.
Life is so awesome when we allow it to be. We can get into a rhythm and movements of feeling low and depressed, when we take on others’ stuff or the problems of the world, forgetting who we are – which is naturally light and so full of joy. Coming back to this is an amazing process, as we discard the layers of protection and heaviness and give ourselves permission to be who we truly are.
What a dummy we have been sold as men and as people. To toughen up is actually the reverse of what is needed from us. How do you see everything that is going on when you are keeping part of yourself blind? I am yet to see anyone from the school of ‘toughen up’ turn out balanced in the world and so I would say from experience this model is broken. Let’s allow and support ourselves to tap into true strength and that is being able to stay with what you are feeling, no matter what is facing us. I have seen for myself that this is an unshakeable foundation to return to that is there through thick and thin.
Holding your light is a blessing and a beautiful reflection for our world Joshua.. Yesterday whilst at work I had a customer come in with their 3yr old daughter who had lost her precious doll. The little one was upset. A work colleague commented afterwards that the little one needed to ‘toughen-up. We live in a world of people who have been told to toughen-up and the world is in a mess. What this world needs are more like you that choose to live the natural joy and love that is within naturally so and to reflect this outward. Today celebrating this glorious joy and light within me and all others – thanks Joshua.
Sharing your honouring and appreciation of your true strength and feelings is a gorgeous gift to both men and women Joshua.
I love that you have recognised the joy you experienced when young when embracing your natural tenderness and how this can be lost when ideals and believes are taken on from society of how you ‘should be’ and act as a boy/man. The damage of these beliefs are profound when you look out at the majority of men we have today who are totally disconnected to their innate qualities and in doing so cause much harm to others, males and females alike.
The world today does ask us to be tough to get through it. There is much hardness in the way our society is run, and so we are taught to toughen up from a very young age in order to fit in to it. As we are taught to override what we feel, we gradually lose the sense of who we are. But when this ideal or expectation does not feel right to us, and we do not feel we fit into this we then are deemed a weak, and the word ‘sensitivity’ is used in a negative way. Yet in truth when we are our sensitive selves and we listen to what we are feeling we have a far stronger sense of who we are, through which we can be more of ourselves in the world. Our greatest strength is living in connection to who we are regardless of if we are fitting with what those around us are doing. As with this we break the patters of the vicious cycle that perpetuates the loveless and senseless lifestyle choices and lifestyles that stem from the lack of connection to the love we all are within.
This is exactly what the world needs now, young men who are able to state clearly and strongly that strength and tenderness are able to co-exist and in fact are indeed … cool ☺
We so often try to fit into a picture, that is imposed on us from the outside instead of letting out what is innately living inside us.
Absolutely amazing words on what being A man is really about – Thank you Josh
Josh your amazing blog is a wonderful invitation to everybody to re-connect to our inner heart instead of playing an exhausting role: “What I have come to realise though, is that actually staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do.” – I only can agree!
The world becomes sicker when men hide there exquisite tenderness and sensitivity.
“True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.”Gorgeous to re-read Josh. An inspiration for us all and especially for young men who may feel they have to conform to the pack energy of their peers. Staying true to ourselves feels paramount in life, yet so many of us succumb to the conditioning surrounding us – through no fault of those around us as they too were similarly subjected.
The education system is designed to get us to conform, tick boxes and fit in while also being in constant competition with each other. The school playground can be an extension of this system where young children gradually learn to lose their connection to their joyful playfulness. It only takes one to choose to stay with who they naturally are to change the system and offer others the inspiration to choose to also be who they naturally are.
You would think that just being ourselves would be the most natural thing to do, just like when we were young children, but as we get older the pressures from those around us and society to be someone else, someone who fits into the crowd, begin to impact on us. As a result, slowly but surely we begin to bury the true us underneath the layers of ideals, beliefs and expectations from others, moving further and further away from the naturally beautiful, playful and gentle child we were but who is always there, waiting within to be revealed once again.
As men we subscribe to many ideals and beliefs that run our lives most of the time at the expense of our bodies as we harden and suppress that which is innate to us all. Learning to surrender allows us to express and move in a way that reflects that tenderness within and that is true strength and power in expression.
True strength is about honouring our feelings, embracing the fragility and delicateness within and letting go of pictures of what needs to look like.
Wow I can feel the responsibility we all have with children of all ages to encourage and support them to honour their true feelings, there is great sense of power and strength when we learn to live this way.
Josh, what a blessing you bring to the people you will meet or have been in contact with. To show the reflection of what a true young man is to be. Without the restrictions of imposition, but loving joy. This will awaken others or agitate. But never interfere with you living what you know. At any age this is an amazing thing, especially at 20.
When we are just ourselves it gives others the opportunity to be that for themselves.
The strength you speak of here Josh is the true strength that each of us have within. Many of us connect to this as children (ie simply being ourselves), and then as we grow up, we layer this with a whole string of ideals and beliefs in thinking we have to fit into a certain type of behaviour etc. We layer it to the point that it sometimes seems like we forget that we have this natural connection or that it has gone altogether (to the point that it can sometimes feel as though it can never be regained). The awesome part though is that although we can choose not to express from this natural connection, we can NEVER lose it… And beginning to connect back to this can be as simple as starting with our gentle breath…
Some great advice here, Josh, on how to navigate those formative playground peer groups – and beyond – in a way that doesn’t leave us with acquired beliefs which then drive our behaviour towards an adopted, accepted way that’s alien to us, but instead allows us to observe what is going on around us without getting affected and whilst fully honouring how we truly feel.
When we are children, most of have an experience of untrammelled joy, and this experience lies there, in all of us, waiting for the reconnection with the inner heart, and this doorway again being opened.
Thanks for sharing the joy of being all of you despite what others are experiencing. Choosing to dull down our light to apparently fit in hurts us and does nothing to challenge the status quo that life is hard etc. You are an inspiration Josh and a much needed reflection for other young men particularly in a world that does not encourage them to show their feelings and deep tenderness.
Never wait for someone to give you permission to be who you are.
Great sharing Josh.
“What I have come to realise is that the feelings of being weak or powerless that I had at school were just my choosing to take on decisions others had made, and not honouring what I felt. True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.” This is an amazing realisation to come to Josh. You being the fullness of you offers inspiration for others to do the same for themselves.
Thank you Josh for a great blog, i am becoming more and more trusting of what my feelings are telling me, after being told from a young age ” feelings are not to be trusted”
Josh you are a true inspiration to other young men – learning to honour your feelings and express in this tender and beautiful way has been amazing to read, thank you.
This is so confirming of that which I am learning more and more, that there is no reason to hold back my amazingness, I am the only one that needs to give me the permission to roll and be all that I am.
There is a powerful statement in here, about how we can be dragged down to the same level as everyone else… or choose to live all the love we naturally are, which has the capacity to inspire others to see this in themselves and realise that they do have a choice.
Yes Simon, and this is the thing… We may feel that what we do in our life being just one of 7 billion is inconsequential… The truth is it is anything but that. Every person who chooses to live in this reconnected way is a role model and the ripple effect is be profound
A simple and yet very revealing insight into what must happen with most young males growing up in our system, how the peer pressure is so strong, and how this will keep influencing us as we get older, in fact it can get stronger as we see in many organizations. Josh sums up a paradigm shift that is necessary for the human male to evolve to.
Yes I agree Chris, we need this shift for the health and well-being of males both young and old, for many have been moulded by society to ‘fit’ in instead of allowing them to be their true and tender selves.
Yes Anna… So what we need then is role models… There needs to be so many men now living in this way and speaking out about it that there is actually an option there to be seen.
I feel so many of us can remember playtime experiences at school. The early years being more about play and fun with no pressure to be anything else but ourselves. Maturing and moving schools certainly brought more pressure to conform, change and suppress our natural way to be. For myself I carried this behaviour on for decades until attending presentations from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. To learn that there is indeed another way to be, and, from what is presented is that I have do have a choice and do not need permission from another ‘to be all of me’ all of the time. you are such an inspiration Josh – thank you for this awesome sharing.
You describe so powerfully those playground moments when we choose to give ourselves away to a need to fit in, not stand out, not be seen for who we truly are. If only at that very moment of choice we could have some sort of software update release that reminds us who we truly are, that we’re more than enough already, so that we wouldn’t commit ourselves to a life that leaves our joyful,natural self suppressed and unexpressed.
Love the wry humour here Cathy. To me the software update is exactly what Josh is describing… the inspiration of others fully living as themselves, and loving the experience. In the case of kids, yes we look to our peers in the playground and can follow that lead, but the adults (teachers and parents) also provide a strong role model. It only needs one person to be living differently to provide the opportunity for others to go ‘I could live like that’.
Josh I can really relate to your words here…”I began to make myself feel small and much less than what I knew myself to be on the inside so that I didn’t stand out as being different.I thought that when others around me were beginning to shut down their feelings by not expressing their awesome-ness that I needed to follow them, and not stay with my joyful, natural self.” I am beginning to feel the depth to which I did this in my own life…I am awestruck by the possibility of who I really am and who I can be if I stop making these self-debilitating choices. There is a so much bigger YOU inside of YOU. This is what I hear Serge tell me with every presentation and what’s awesome is he is giving us the tools to uncover the gold within us.
Be true to yourself and honor your feelings as you are the only person you have to please, thanks Josh
This was awesome to return to, Thank You Josh. It may seem like going with the heaviness of the crowd is the way to go and that there is no other way but when I actually give myself that permission to be with me it makes that perception naught.
Thank you Josh for sharing your experience, and for choosing to come back to what you felt so clearly as a young boy. I am inspired.
Thank you Josh for sharing this. Makes me realise how many of us a going around with the want to be ourselves yet it’s only when we are inspired and see another doing this that we let our guard down. It’s interesting to note what happens as we grow older too- we start loosing ourselves, our tenderness. You being you would bring so much to everyone you meet Josh.
“Often I feel the pull to dull down how great my day has been so others won’t feel so bad” – this feels familiar. In fact, I have heard and read so many people saying something like this I wonder if everyone actually has felt like that as we grew up and as we go about our days. Then it makes me wonder, who/what is that ‘others’ we were so worried about upsetting? Who started this game? It’s rather silly if everyone of us secretly recognises our awesomeness yet holds back thinking that expressing it in full would upset ‘others’ when that ‘others’ are actually thinking exactly the same, doing the same. So, I thank Serge Benhayon deeply for stepping out of the line and reflecting us what happens when we make choices that are true to us.
I have re-visited your Blog again this morning Josh and the ‘Joy’ you are holding by being you in the world. It is beautiful and so simple really – something available to us all in every moment, all we have to do is make this choice.
Hi Josh. Your memories are so clear and honest, I can feel the joyful little boy taking himself out into the world and then the quiet receding that happened. It feels harsh and exhausting living what others dictate. It is so true what you have simply encapsulated in your comment – ‘True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed’. It is time to ‘Be’ our strength and hold that in the world. Great Blog.
It takes true strength to not succumb to the false ideals of what a boy or a man should be – to shine your light and just be you, despite the social and peer pressure is just awesome. It allows others to see that they can choose to do the same.
Carmin, well said, it does take strength to not succumb and to stay connected to who you are.
Beautifully expressed Josh. Your true strength shines throughout this blog as you gracefully claim the gorgeous tender loving young gentleman that you are. ‘I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me…’ – agreed! Why wait to live the divine brilliance that we naturally all are within.
I found it really sad to see the bright, shiny, beautiful faces that started school gradually dulling down, and it was hard to pin point a moment or why this so universally happened. So it was interesting to read your blog Josh. It is encouraging to know that it is possible to get this inner shine back. I suppose it never really goes, it is always within waiting to be allowed to shine once again.
” … staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up … ”
Josh, I see this too at my work … a person can come in weighed down about whatever and after a few minutes interacting with me, I can see that they have some space from their ‘burdens’, are breathing more easily again and carrying on does not seem quite so hard. I’ve not expressed seeing this before, so thank you for your blog which sparked this confirmation.
Josh thank you for sharing your journey back to the ‘true you’ this is so supportive and inspiring for all young men and boys to hear. ‘True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.’- Well said and a great reminder for us all.
We have a choice with every step we take, to choose ourselves or to be influenced by what is around. There is a lot of pressure to conform to the so called ‘normal behaviour’ of men or our peers. When we don’t conform we can experience rejection and an experience of isolation, but what is on the other side of this is the experience of just how lovely we truly are if we choose to stay connected and just be ourselves.
Josh I would like to “borrow you” to stay some days in our community to show all young men that they can also choose to be themselves rather than changing into a “real man” without feeling anything at all.
Josh, continue with this amazing re-discovery of who you naturally are, as it is un-natural to be any other way. Power today is misunderstood to mean being physically strong, but in actual fact the power is you being you.
Thank you Josh, through reading of your early playground experience I was connected to the absolute joy and wonder, I too, knew as a child, that sense of freedom and fun, of just being in the moment. How quickly we lose that by conforming and fitting in. I appreciate your beautiful expression and I know we have a choice in every moment. “I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.” That amazing child is in all of us we just need to allow it to come out and play.
What an inspiring young man you are Josh, a great role model for young people everywhere. Thank you for sharing you.
A gorgeous sharing Josh, it is inspiring to feel the true expression of another living from the love they know themselves to be.
Recovering our innocence, and integrating this with the strength and wisdom of adulthood, is one of the great boons of reconnecting with our inner truth, our hearts, our gentleness and our stillness.
Amazing, Josh! And this strength is in men and women equally.
Thank-you Josh for not holding back. The willingness to express all of you in full is a fantastic role model for others to be inspired by.
There can be no true inspiration or change if we just join the crowd, especially if it means ignoring and shutting down what we feel and know is true inside
The phrase, “if you can’t beat them, join them” comes to mind as I read this blog and some of the comments following. It’s as if we have no other options other than to fight the system or be one with it – sounds like my teenage years, fighting stereotypes and roles I perceived to want nothing of, but joining a different crowd and thinking I was individual. But when this group got together there was nothing unique about an entire crowd of everyone dressed the same and listening to the same music. Nowhere in growing up was there the option to stand by my own feelings and that sense and knowing of who I was as I came. But now the awesome thing is that more and more I am understanding that people make their own choices – sounds simple enough, but in practice after going with whatever the majority are doing, and reacting to the choices of others, it can at times make me feel like I am alone in what I feel, but that is not the case at all. Because when I choose to feel myself, and then another person, the other person feels exactly the same so how can we ever be alone if we are all the same? And it doesn’t matter who that person is, what they look like, gender, nationality, age – none of that -as I have experienced, from meeting the students of Universal medicine, made up of loads of people from different walks of life. Everyone’s essence feels the same, regardless of what we have chosen in life.
Beautifully said Leigh, ‘conforming’ is always a choice. It is often chosen to avoid feeling the impact of the jealousy of those who haven’t chosen to remain true to themselves – essentially out of a perceived self preservation. Yet it is something that we actually choose.
Josh I love this line “What I have come to realise is that the feelings of being weak or powerless that I had at school were just my choosing to take on decisions others had made, and not honouring what I felt.” . It simply confirms in my body what I feel and know – though sometimes still do – and that is not to give my power away to other people, often by choice and trust what I feel. I can feel the absolute joy in that, and with that the actual felt power that comes from our bodies and that we already know everything.
So true Gyl, giving our power away is that simple. But then it is that simple to reclaim our truth back too.
I agree – great reminder for all Joshua.
“But to reclaim our truth back too” – yes it is simple, that’s powerful Joshua and a great reminder too.
It is such a shame to see boys or men acting tough when they are inherently so sweet and tender, so this was really lovely to read and just gorgeous that you have given yourself permission to be who you naturally are and express how beautiful that is.
Nothing sweeter than a man honouring his tender sweetness 🙂
I spent time this weekend with a beautiful sensitive young boy aged 12. One of his responsibilities was to play with and stay close to two younger children. We sat together on high chairs. I asked him what was important to him. He told me how much he loved the world, unravelling its mysteries and following his imagination. He had a great awareness of his place in the world, shared how he was treated differently from his sister and how it felt when adults didn’t listen to him. He had an ability to talk openly about himself and express his feelings when asked. Gorgeous to be in his presence.
As we grow up and enter head on in the world of boys and we make it ours, we reduce ourselves as beings since we shut down anything that does not belong in there (any relationship with our feelings, our sensitivity etc.)
It is unfortunate life is this way for many, but as I am relearning there is a way to live with our sensitivities in amongst the ‘tough’ and ‘rough’ society it can sometimes feel as we grow up
Josh, what an amazing blog. It’s so obvious but the idea that we can enjoy being us in life as adults is almost considered an affront to those who don’t as you note, we feel we have to dull down to fit in. And reading about it here I see how crazy it is and yet I do this too, it’s even ingrained and one I’m unpicking – I know when I feel me, I love it and people see that it’s possible to live in this way so now it’s time to get out and truly play. Thank you for such a great reminder.
Yes absolutely monicag2. When we dull our sensitivity down to ‘protect’ us it hurts us the most.
Awesome Josh, it was really lovely to read how you knew your beautiful tenderness as a young child and were so happy and carefree to live that until the pressures of who you ‘should be’ started shadowing your natural expression. But you have reclaimed it now, and given yourself once again permission to be exactly who you are – and the world is certainly brighter for that choice.
Thank you Jo. True power is in the fact that it is always a choice to re-claim that sensitivity once again – it truly never leaves us!
This is gorgeous, you are such an inspiration for man of your age to honour his tenderness. It’s beautiful you could meet someone that reflected this to you as well. How very special.
Thank you Ariel
To have the gift of someone reflecting this to you Josh, it brings a responsibility to all of us to be that same someone who can reflect the tenderness to another and watch it grow.
A very inspiring blog Josh. Thank you
I can relate to dulling yourself when people around you are not feeling well, are having emotions or having a hard time. I am learning now that the more I show me, all of me, my vitality, the love that I am, how free I am and that I feel great, that this is actually inspiring others. Yes, it exposes things as well, but that is only great, because what gets exposed it not true anyway and is not who we truly are. If we dull ourselves, there is no true reflection in the world.
Mariette your final line in your comment had a strong impression on me. “If we dull ourselves, there is no true reflection in the world.” Thank you for sharing.
True freedom exists in living the sensitive, tender and truly caring people we innately are.
A lovely blog Josh. Brave loving man that you are, you have reminded me to keep giving myself permission to be me!
Thanks Josh , to step aside from our greatness is hard and a struggle; to step back into the lovely light we are is to discard the hurt and there we are in all our natural glory.
Indeed, once we reconnect to our inner-most, we just cannot hide the light, joy, beauty, strength, and simplicity that we feel within. Thank you Josh for writing this.
What a lovely story of feeling and expressing one’s tenderness contra to the norm of today in which it is seen as weak or wussy particularly for a man as you note Josh. Learning to trust ourselves in what we feel is huge and the first step towards trusting and accepting our amazingness, such that we do everything to cherish this and never let it go no matter what.
‘Learning to trust ourselves in what we feel is huge and the first step towards trusting and accepting our amazingness, such that we do everything to cherish this and never let it go no matter what.’ So true Zofia and the allowing of trust in what we feel opens up the acceptance (or rather re-acceptance) of our true selves and the commitment to treasure that and shine it brightly.
I really enjoyed reading this Josh. The loving tender strength of a young man who knows who he is shines through.
The way you talked about playing as a child is what I feel when I see my grandson playing. How sad that life can bring a force which makes us feel we have to be different. It feels very beautiful that you re-connected to the beauty you always have been.
Your tenderness and sensitivity shines through your writing Josh – thank you for sharing this with us all.
Having grown up with four brothers, your blog has given me a deeper understanding of how life was for them, and how three of them changed to fit in and the fourth stayed himself, but was often told to toughen up. You have written an amazing article here Josh, one that I feel sure will inspire women and men,young and old alike.
It is an inspiration to re-read this blog and a reminder that “I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.” Thank you, Josh!
Great blog Josh, I have felt the pull to make myself smaller to fit in around others. I am sure this is something we have all had experience of, feeling good but dulling our mood when around others when what is really called for is for us to be ourselves for all to see.
Josh, your words in bold in the last two paragraphs are gold: ‘I just need to give that permission to myself’ ‘True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed’ So often we spend time trying to be someone or something that we are not, when who we are is longing to be expressed and shared with the world. Through the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, each one of us is being supported to give ourselves permission to just be ourselves…That also is pure Gold…
Thank you Josh for your honesty and how amazing you could recognise what was going on for yourself. Dulling myself is most certainly something I learnt at a very young age – as I grew up and chose to disconnect from my body I was then not aware of the impact on my body and others. It is through people like yourself and Serge Benhayon that I have learnt this behaviour is not necessary but I know it does still happen sometimes.
This an amazing blog Josh. Describing with beautiful honesty your journey from tenderness to toughness and back to tenderness again and all this under the age of 20 ! You shine like a star.
You are amazing, Josh. It is fantastic to hear/read someone of your age write things you do. It is so inspiring and truly shows the possibility of what the future can and will bring forth when people of your age and younger speak the way you do. It was not until I was in my 50’s did I start to speak the way you do and the fact that I, and others of my generation, can change also demonstrates what the future will bring when we, too, say “I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.” It is the Way of the Future.
Josh, beautiful blog, I really enjoyed reading it and feeling your joy in being you in life. Thank you for reminding me that it’s us who give permission to us to be ourselves 🙂
I love this Josh and I love how you have shared what many men feel about the transition from tender play-full boy into rough and tumble older boy and then onto being a ‘tough man’. This all leading to the adult man feeling a sadness that something is missing and not always realising that it is actually the expression of tenderness and play-fullness that they had as boys that they crave.
“What I have come to realise is that the feelings of being weak or powerless that I had at school were just my choosing to take on decisions others had made, and not honouring what I felt. True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.”
Thank you Josh for exposing a truth many feel and opening the conversation for others to have.
Such an amazing and beautiful article Josh! What you write feels so completely natural.
Thank you Meg.
Hi Josh, on reading “often I feel the pull to dull down how great my day has been so others won’t feel so bad”, I immediately realised I do the same. Recently a friend came to visit who I had not seen for some time. She looked and felt miserable and what did I do… I dropped how wonderful I was feeling so as she would not feel so bad, and then the question came: how often do I do this? I see now how I lessen my own light and joy for others. Inspiring and amazing article and perfect timing!
Wow! Thank-you Jacqueline. When I read your comment it reminded me of a moment when I was with my friend and I did not dull my light or my joy. I just commented on how my day was going and made light of the situation. After having a few laughs and a few chuckles, I saw the way he started to lighten up and change. I could see how he was feeling more with who he was and seeing how the emotion he was in was not something he needed to hold onto any more. Showed me that there is a lot of power in not dulling our light — a lot more than putting up with the misery.
What a great example Josh of the powerful effect we have when we choose not to dull ourselves.
Awesome what you share here jacqmcfadden04, I can relate to this. For me feeling great in the company of somebody who is not, has been quite a challenge for me. I am learning that when I stay where I am, I am actually giving the biggest present: a true reflection that we are all great and that we can all make the choice to be our amazing self.
I saw such a beautiful image when you described you and the other children early on in school. When we are simply in the moment, feeling how amazing and awesome we are in our bodies, life truly does become fun and playful and about simply enjoying life with each other in the moment.
I too had been fooled into thinking that to dull myself was a great solution to stop the pain I felt in others and in myself… What a cruel trick being played on such divine beings who simply want to express the joy of being themselves in brotherhood, nothing more and nothing less.
Thank you for your inspiring blog Josh and the delightful image of true brotherhood in the playground.
What a cruel trick indeed! Thanks Suzanne.
I am feeling this too! Thank you Amina.
And the odd thing is that the person who does harden is probably more sensitive to the harsh-ness of the world even though they don’t seem to show it so! The hardness is just a shield but we all feel. Thank you Ariana.
A Great article Josh, thank you.
Thanks Chris.
I just love your blog Josh. You have described exactly what I have done in my life – exactly. I became aware that people around me were miserable and didn’t like what I was, so I began to play the game about ‘how hard life was’ just to fit in. I could have chosen otherwise but I didn’t then. Now I realise how beautiful it is to simply hold my being as it is, to be with all.
The only way to not see the misery is to look out from the joy that you have within first. I have found that being miserable and not honouring the feelings within means you also see life that way too. Others need the joy and love that we bring just from being who we truly are. Thank you Lyndy.
Most people are charmed by babies and younger children and their endearing ways, yet it’s not the norm for older children to keep relating to life and each other with such delight and ease. How great to be able to read this first-hand account of what young boys do to themselves to fit the mould society seems to expect of them.
Awesome to know you have called a stop to being less to fit in and have reclaimed your joyful, natural self, Josh. That is what the world really needs – men who choose to be their true selves and go about their lives with that innate strength and joy that can also inspire others to reconnect to these qualities in themselves as well.
And how important then is it to have teachers and role-models for our children to encourage them that the natural ways they play together are absolutely OK and don’t need to be shut down at all. We would then have a world of amazingly tender joyful beings who know the strength of the tenderness and gentleness. Thank you Judith.
Thank you Josh, the very way you expressed this post brought back those very same feelings of dulling oneself down so others don’t feel so bad… We have all felt this, I am sure, especially when we were young… but the “I see peoples faces light up with the lightness I bring” and “it’s absolutely brilliant too because at the same time I am enjoying being me” is priceless and so simple and effective. Not only that but also much more productive than dulling oneself down… well expressed!
Dulling down really doesn’t seem logical at all when you say it like this. Gosh who would have thought there was so much power in honouring our feelings!
Yes Josh, I feel the truth of this; “…so much power in honoring our feelings”.
And like you, I have also realized that I have to give myself permission to be me… all of me!
Seeing Serge and then all of you do this has been a HUGE help moving me along in making this choice!
And when you express from your awesomeness we all get to feel that and it feels great! This blog is so inspiring!
Lovely to feel this Rosie. Thank you.
Hi Josh and everyone, it is really beautiful to know feel and accept deep within that there is nothing wrong with us and that there never has been. I too have experienced this dulling down so that I can feel comfortable with others feeling comfortable with me. The small and sneaky ways this occurs are still being exposed but it is with the loving support of Serge Benhayon and the practitioners from Universal Medicine that I can keep choosing a differnt way, in the knowing that I no longer need to fit in. As each person acknowledges this what a beautiful ripple effect for the world.
Gosh! It is so amazing to feel you say this. I am connecting recently with the fact that there really is no need to ‘be anything’ rather all we need to do is just to be and in that accept who we already are. So revealing to see how seemingly hard it can be to just be when there is nothing simpler.
A great insightful article Josh – and from a 20 year old, an inspiration for all men – even old farts like me!
Thanks Rod. It’s awesome that this can inspire older men too. I have been in many situations where age = wisdom so youth often were not an inspiration for older folk. But the truth is time is ageless so be it a 20 year old like me or some one a bit older like you, we can all learn lots from each other and inspire each other a long the way.
What an inspiring post Josh. Thank you.
Thank you Desiree.
Josh, what amazing timing sharing this in light of “the starting the conversations” conference just held in Brisbane and Lennox Head”. You are a true role model for the young men in this world!
Thank you Sharon.