Discovering My True Strength: Honouring My True Feelings Within

When I was growing up, I very quickly got the impression from others that feelings were for wusses, and wusses were soft people who have trouble living in this world. I was shown that to be a real man was to have strength, and strength was something that comes from what you can do physically, but never from what you can feel.

When I was a young boy I felt gorgeous, play-full, cute and very tender – quite simply because I was! When I played with my friends early on at school, I remember we all seemed to feel how amazing we were and this made playing with each other so much fun – I had such an awesome time at school when I was a young boy!

Gradually though, I noticed as school progressed that playing with my friends seemed less play-full, less free, and more rough and hard. I started to feel the shifts in the boys in the playground. There was a self conscious shift that started to take place about not wanting to be seen as anything less than how a boy ‘should be’, or what games a boy ‘should play’, in case he was seen as anything less than how a boy ‘should behave’.

I too started to take this on and began to make myself feel small and much less than what I knew myself to be on the inside so that I didn’t stand out as being different.

I thought that when others around me were beginning to shut down their feelings by not expressing their awesome-ness that I needed to follow them, and not stay with my joyful, natural self.

I sometimes wonder how I can express to others the fact that I am actually loving life and loving being me in it, when other people are finding life hard and boring or tough and a struggle. Would they find this too hard to hear? Perhaps they may not even like me for it. Often I feel the pull to dull down how great my day has been so others won’t feel so bad.

What I have come to realise though, is that actually staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.

Not so long ago I met someone who reminded me of what I had forgotten – my amazingness. As we talked I could feel that they loved me absolutely for who I was. It was awesome to feel the space this created between us… words weren’t really needed as the love we were feeling between us was so lovely. This person helped remind me that I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.

What I have come to realise is that the feelings of being weak or powerless that I had at school were just my choosing to take on decisions others had made, and not honouring what I felt. True strength simply comes from observing life and allowing what I truly feel from me to be expressed.

Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine (UniMed) and Serge Benhayon

By Josh Campbell (20) living in Christchurch, New Zealand

 

148 thoughts on “Discovering My True Strength: Honouring My True Feelings Within

  1. What a gorgeous line Joshua “words weren’t really needed as the love we were feeling between us was so lovely”, and how true this is when love is present. You have highlighted something beautiful that I experience regularly in my life, and this is now something I will appreciate more and more.

  2. This is so very important for all of us, to give ourselves permission to express the joy we feel inside and not to dim it down because of outer circumstances. It is, as you say Josh, something the world so very much needs.

  3. It is astounding to consider that inside each and every little boy at the school playground, there is someone who is highly sensitive and aware, but perhaps is struggling to know how to keep this or to express this part of them in daily life and in society in general. And this is where I feel that role models come in as such a strong part of human life.

  4. Josh, what a great sharing; the idea that we take on the decisions of others and not honour our own feelings had me …. honestly when it’s put that clearly it sounds crazy and yet that is what I’ve done and indeed can still do. It’s quite amazing how much we can allow ourselves to fall into the herd, so as not to stand out, but in fact it does nothing except confirm more misery in the world, and we’re lying to ourselves and everyone in it. So it truly is about giving ourselves permission to be us, no matter what and allowing others the grace to do the same. That’s what is truly inspiring when we are simply just ourselves. It’s magic, thanks Josh for reminding me of this simple thing.

  5. Such an insightful blog into life as a young boy to man and how they are squashed into this box that they do not truly belong too.

  6. This is very powerful Josh, and thank-you for sharing all that you have here. How would our world be, if we held onto all that we innately are, and did not succumb and ‘dull down’ in order to fit in, and potentially, not rock anyone’s boat?
    It takes true strength indeed to do this, and also to reclaim ourselves when we recognise that the path we’ve taken – the choices we have made – haven’t really served us or anyone else for that matter, when it comes down to it.
    Our world deserves us all to shine and be unapologetic for the naturalness of our being.

  7. This blog says so much about our society – especially the utter hardness if not brutality in which we hold our boys and our men, as a rule… ‘Toughen up’ is clearly NOT the answer – one need only look at the rates of male suicide to see that our allowance of this culture is depriving men of their capacity to speak and express openly, acknowledge all that they feel (the true strength, as you’ve shared so well Josh) and maintain and honour the sensitivity of the boy throughout their lives.
    We all feel, we all experience hurt, we all bleed – the same – men and women alike. And the endemic ‘harden up’ culture we’ve fostered is not only fuelled by men, it is fuelled by any woman who in any way, wants a man to be ‘tough’, to carry others burdens, and not to show all that he is, openly so.

  8. What you are sharing Josh is so important and powerful for everyone to hear. There are so many people in the world living their entire lives without honouring what they feel or expressing this to others. There is much to learn and appreciate when we make this simple choice to honour ourselves especially for men who are expected to toughen up and deny what they feel, it is beautiful you are offering a true reflection Josh that allows men to know there is a different choice to make.

  9. Thank you Josh… And when we allow ourselves to truly express what we do feel it is like a spark is lit inside us, and this transforms us from the inside out.

  10. The moment we step away from what we feel is true within us – the innate sensitivity, fragility, grace and love we are means we are choosing less. The forces in childhood are pretty full on for children the moment they enter school and in reflection feel like an assault energetically. There are many beautiful parents now gaining more awareness of the shift that is taking place and supporting their young ones to stay connected to their inner heart – this is so beautiful to witness.

  11. School is a difficult place to be in. Most of us don’t get valued for who we are, and this is where the shutting down of who we are gets compounded.

  12. Giving ourselves permission to be ourselves, so simple, yet we so easily choose to forget, however when we are living in full permission of ourselves we get to feel the true strength and love we hold within.

  13. Expressing who you are in your fullness all the time is a gift for all, ‘ staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.’

  14. This is so true Josh, and great to remind us all, ‘I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me the permission to be all of me… I just need to give that permission to myself.’ Absolutely.

  15. “What I have come to realise though, is that actually staying with me and staying in my natural joy is the best thing I can do. I see people’s faces light up with the lightness I bring; it’s absolutely brilliant too, because at the same time I’m enjoying being me.”
    I agree Josh there is nothing more joyful and confirming to be all of you feelings, strengths, weaknesses, and all.

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