335 thoughts on “Christmas Lies, Christmas Myths and the Truth about Christmas”

1. The big hype about Christmas impacted by media attention and how much money is being spent by people hits the headlines every year. Retailers relying on customers and decorations being sold earlier and earlier in the year, the world can be crazy over this white bearded man.

   I’ve never understood this time of year, most people having a frenzy and then the lull hits us. some even call it the silly season and silly it is.

   We can appreciate one another any time of the year, and we can meet any time of the year. Slowly slowly people are realising and over time more and more people will stop buying into those frenzies, and we can celebrate us any day, any reason, and any season of the year.

2. Thank you Gayle for presenting this blog on Christmas lies – and yes it is quiet sad to feel how as children we actually know this is a lie and yet because of the conviction of our parents and those around us we play the game often because we do not want to hurt them and their feelings. But what hurts more than the lie is the fact of how they play that game.

3. So much energy and effort is put into maintaining a lie and at Christmas this is more evident. It is really draining to maintain lies.

   1. Leigh spot on, it is draining to maintain a lie, Christmas is one of them and there are many more we’ve bought into too. The world and its people have been lied to for centuries and life times, one day more and more of us will wake up to these lies and from there we live a more true life.

4. What if the sub-plot has a deeper plot to return us to our Soul and Christ is part of that return and we can celebrate the Christ energy every day along with the virtues that we hold-true so we are more nurturing on a daily basis and thus deepen our sacredness so we become more responsible for the way we live in every-aspect of life. The virtues of Virgo lived as Christ-mas every day seems more like a Living-ness and a simple approach to a joy-filled life.

5. There’s this societal pressure on us to do Christmas as it is prescribed, but we all feel the lies in its fabric and no one actually wants it that way.

   1. Spot on and it creates this huge weight and expectation on how to be, how to dress, how to eat, and how to behave, all controlled and not allowing our natural expression and our natural stop and celebration of us as families and the love that we are and hold for each other.

6. Or it is the ‘its okay as its a little white lie’ lie. When we allow ourselves to feel the absolute magic in life, to connect to the divinity within and the magic of oneness there is no way we would want to tell a little white lie but rather support our younger generation to feel the truth and beauty of this magic within for themselves. We have literally gone so far off track it is not funny … time to get back on track.

7. This is a refreshing and sobering read along with a very poignant question ‘WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THE CHRISTMAS LIE?’. Being the 14th December today I can feel the push and sell from retailers more than every before and it if not nice. But what is really sobering about your blog is that fact that every year we sell this lie, literally and continue to lie to our children and you are right what foundation are we laying for them when we are happy to tell them a lie for the first years of their life only for them to find out we have been lying all along … and this is from the people that they have grown to trust in their life and then if this is not enough (for them to have found out they have been lied to by the people they trust) as it happened to you ask them to then keep the lie for their younger siblings. Like this is crazy!!!

8. Christmas can see an increase in business and rushing around to fit into a certain picture of how everything should be. But even if I don’t have a to-do list the length of a toilet roll and may only have 2 tasks in a day I can still do those in a driven, busy way.

9. I remember when I found out that Father Christmas wasn’t real, I was actually devastated, as my seemingly magical bubble was burst in a split second. And it was exactly as you say, not so much that Santa wasn’t real, but that I had been led to believe something that wasn’t true. But what’s worse, is that I did the same for my own children…. There is so much we can celebrate at this time of year, by being together and simply enjoying each others company, and yes it can still be magical, truly so.

10. I have found Christmas an interesting time of the year. Not only is there a push to shop, buy presents, mountains of food there is also a pressure to get away and have a break. As a nurse I have worked many christmases and been on the receiving end of the christmas day ‘cheer’. I have also been alone on Christmas day which is also a strange feeling, for really it is no different than any other day of the year, but yet on that day we cannot be alone, even though we have many days alone during the year. So much pressure is placed on this day being a certain way and yet that same effort is not placed on any other day. I have to say I have always found this difficult.

11. Kids know when we are lying to them so lying about Santa Clause is really more for the adults than for the kids.

    1. Children are very smart. I recall hearing a child say that Santa Claus cannot possibly climb down the chimney because it is too small.

12. It is quite crazy how people get so caught up in the Christmas hype, it is just another day yet I see how many get so stressed or exhausted trying to squeeze themselves into these perfect pictures of how they want they day to be.

    1. Yes, many people get even more stressed than they already were, it is indeed another aspect of how crazy we can be as human beings.

13. There are so many lies around Christmas and we continue to propagate them, yet children know they’re lies and yet what do we think they or more pertinently gain from lying? Why can we not just be us? No put-on’s elves or Santas in sight, after all that’s what we all need to be us, and to let others be them and see us and for us to see them!

14. I lie to you but I will make it up with a gift, so you will forgive me of how gifted I am in lying. Merry Christmas.

    1. A formula to set up a family with lies and distrust and confusion – all a distraction so as not to feel the steadiness, the knowing and the love that resides deep within us all.

15. I was a lot older when my Mum finally told me when I was home sick from school that Santa wasn’t real. She thought I knew, so was asking me not to say anything to my younger sister because she still believed. I was shattered, and it got worse because she then said but you know about the easter bunny not being real and the tooth fairy, eh? No I had fully believed those as well. I remember that day so clearly, how upset I was because it offered us ‘happy’ times as a family, and then I felt so stupid for believing in it and knowing that every adult in my life played along with the game and could see how I was gone hook line and sinker. It is definitely not an innocent fun loving game to play. As you say Gayle, we really do know but there is this gorgeous pure innocence in us that loves and wants to believe the adults in our lives.

    1. Its actually quite a shock. I remember seeing my christmas present that santa was going to bring me in my parents cupboard. I didn’t know what to say. I was stopped in my tracks. Then I saw that the whole construct of christmas was a lie too. We cannot underestimate how hurtful this is for children to know that a) they were lied to and B) that it was by people that we so deeply trust. There is no intention to hurt at all, I understand this, but are we really considering the effect that this has on children?

       1. Could this be the biggest setup ever to deliver a message to children that they can’t fully trust the adults in their lives. And if it is, who does it serve to have seperation in families? Interesting that this is something brought in by mainstream religion.

       2. Great point Aimee.

    2. There is this ‘gorgeous pure innocence in us that loves’, how lovely if that stays alive and the adults in our lives support this.

16. It is a huge learning for me to have understanding and be love when people talk about Father Christmas and the things they do to convince their children that he is real but also the justifications I am told by parents, such as the bringing about magic and the expanding of a child’s imagination. Umm… I observe but the truth is felt by my movements because I see the reactions in others. All I need to do is claim more deeply the power every movement I make when it is made with an absolute truth and love.

17. It’s interesting how adults assume children are so pure and would believe anything they say up to a certain age then they would be eroded enough to stand being lied to, and accept lies as part of the reality of life.

18. Life becomes more simple and joyful when we can live each day without needing any false ‘high’ or feeling pressured to fit into society’s ‘norm’.

19. I love your term of ‘Christmas consumerism’ Gayle for the over indulgence of food, and unnecessary presents and expenditure that has in too many ways taken over what was originally intended to be a religious holiday.

20. No one has got up and outwardly questioned why is it normal for us to have such a fleeting and emotional build up to an event that does not truly bring any lasting joy in our lives and instead brings in many cases the complete opposite such as stress and emotional tension levels can be high. Perhaps it is possible to live a consistency in joyful quality every single day. If so, this in itself exposes the lie that is Christmas.

    1. Love this Joshua. Everyone just goes along with it simply because it is what you do. I remember thinking how crazy it was to put yourself under financial stress to either by presents or host a big Christmas dinner. Is this truly what we want for our loved ones just to keep up appearances?

21. There are several things that have an adverse effect on our health and even if this is clearly stated it does not deter people from going there.

    1. Yes, people carry on regardless, it often takes a big health scare or stop moment to help them re-evaluate their lives.

22. There are many lies tied up in the tinsel of Christmas myths. Meeting each other with love and deepening a foundation of Brotherhood is one of the most precious gifts we can offer each other.

23. I don’t think my son has forgiven me yet for lying to him about Santa. The funny thing is that I told him when he was about 3 that Santa wasn’t real and he told me he was. So next year I played along – a bit too well as then came the hurt that I lied when I came clean the following year.

    1. I remember starting to feel awful about keeping the lie going so I said to myself if my sons ask me I’m going to ask them what do they feel is true. So when they asked I did just that, and they said ‘he’s not real is he?’ and I said yes. Even though they knew, they were still devastated because they were lied to and they wouldn’t get as many presents. As soon as they knew they wanted not to know and for a few years after still wanted us to get them presents from Santa. It shows how sinister this game is because we impose it upon them, as it was also imposed on to us and our parents etc., and then it’s almost like a drug that we think we need to keep having.

24. I have never been a huge fan of ‘Christmas’ and now I use the holiday to rest my body rather than ‘go party’.
    I check the office emails to make sure no one is left ‘hanging’ with no connection to the company’s website over the Christmas and New Year period, I work on other projects, go swimming, take walks in the countryside. This is a lovely time of year to just chill out and re charge my batteries for what is to come.

    1. I can tell I could do with some more downtime and prepare because as everyone starts winding down be it in a regathering of themselves for next year or indulging in the Christmas antics. I find myself wanting to get up and go and annoyed I can’t. Definitely need to pull the breaks on this train.

25. My wife and I decided from the start that we would not lie to our children about father christmas and tell them the truth from the beginning. It just did not feel right to lie to them when we do not lie to them about anything else. There is no such thing as a ‘white lie’ in my opinion there are only lies and truth and any lie damages our relationships and trust in each other.

    1. That is great to hear Andrew, I knew with my parents growing up pretending to be the Father Christmas all seemed very contrived and whilst I knew it was not true, a part of me liked it because of the presents but also a part of me did not like being lied to. I would try to catch them out and made it into a game because I knew I was right but looking back what hurt was not simply being told the truth. And as you say any lie no matter how small hurts and builds mistrust.

26. Keeping up lies however small and however well intended always create a hurt of some sort. I remember knowing for a while Santa Claus was not real but kept up acting like I didn’t know to not hurt my parents feeling as they did their best! Yet all the time this is not the truth, we don’t have to please people to love them and being truthful and real is way more loving than keeping up something.

27. I am finding it easier every year to just observe the craziness of the holiday season as it passes by. And, as you have expressed it is a great time for quiet repose in preparation of the new year.

    1. I have found the same thing Steve. I used to get all caught up in it but now more and more use the period as a time of reflection over the past year so I can re-gather and prepare myself for the year ahead. The more I do this and honour this the more I feel ready for what is to come.

    2. I love the holiday season. I do enjoy people being festive and saying hello to each other. But I also find that I’m not on the crazy train and so it’s a very relaxing time of year for me where I have space to catch up on a lot of things – no one is emailing me or calling as they’re too focussed on Christmas.

28. One of the things I’ve learned from The Way of the Livingness is the true equality we share as beings or souls. Within this understanding we are also all knowing, as we are simply vehicles of expression for God’s wisdom, intelligence, and love to pass through, and not empty vessels waiting to be filled with knowledge from birth. Based on this understanding Christmas as it is would not exist, because a child has equal wisdom from the Universe of God and is an equally tremendous being of love, joy, stillness, truth and harmony, they don’t need presents as a reward on one special day, as their being is greater already than anything we could give them on a material level. They need no lies as the Magic within is already amazing and waiting to be lived. Deeply honouring this in ourselves and children is truly what life can be about, not a one special day of excitement and fantasy – not to mention family pressures. I’m all for presents and celebrating little and big people, but let’s truly celebrate and live what we are.

29. Maybe we perpetuate the lie of Santa because we know the world as it currently is is devoid of the richness of love and truth we can live. We give children the consolation prize of presents and a magical story about a bearded man, when what’s within each human being, our soul, is magical beyond any story and is there waiting to be reconnected to and lived every day. Instead of the presents of a commercial Christmas we can give each other the true magic of a soulful presence, the Christ that lives in all of us, and in our reflection inspire the worlds masses to return to their inner Christ – a true Christ-mass.

30. How lovely Christmas could be if we let go of the myths and lies and instead brought in the truth. We could make a whole lot of difference in the lives of us all if we made Christmas about Love for ourselves and all of humanity.

    1. I agree Roslyn it would be amazing if we as society choose to live the truth instead of opting for the myths and lies that leads to stress and tension. Christmas is a great example of this.

31. And one more thing on the subject of all things Santa – it has just occurred to me that Santa, satan and Sanat are all anagrams of each other! Santa and satan do not exist and Sanat Kumara is the name of our Father we know of as ‘God’ who most certainly exists but whose existence is heavily disputed, as is his name rarely known.

32. And I might add that having grown up in America myself, the Santa picture was far more plausible over there compared to when we moved to Australia and had to contend with the rather implausible idea of a large man in a red fur suit being hauled on a sleigh through the blazing Summer night air by some non-native flying reindeer. Then they tried giving Santa a surfboard and put him in speedos with a stubby of beer at the beach…a whole world of wrong!

33. It was the same for me Gayle. Far greater than the shock that Santa was not real (that bit I could deal with), was the shock that I had been lied to and that I was expected to ‘be a good sport’ and perpetuate this lie. It was at this young age I developed a not so healthy mistrust for the world. I vowed to never do the same to my children. As a mother of two young girls now, I have held true to my word despite objections from friends and family that I was ‘killing Christmas’. We still enjoy coming together as a family at this time, we just don’t lace this connection with a lie, albeit a sociably acceptable one.

34. I think the glamour of christmas is dwindling for a lot of people, it’s almost like the christmas lie is starting to thin for adults too, in that it’s not the one magical time of year but simply the same as every other day, we feel the same even if we pretend otherwise but we’ve just dressed it differently. Perhaps we’re getting closer to realising that every day is of equal importance.

    1. How differently would we feel about our lives, our jobs, our relationships, if there was no ‘special time’ of the year, where as a society we indulge and then feel bad for it, or rush to finish everything before the end of the year, and then spend time recovering? In the process of learning to feel that every moment, every thing we do, is of equal importance, it takes the pressure off and I feel calmer, steadier, surer. The more I appreciate and enjoy the steadiness that comes from simple rhythms and routines, there is nothing to escape from, and so no need to rush or go over the top with anything.

35. “how would the world change if we, as children, weren’t lied to in the first few years of our life? How much more trust would we have in the world?” Its a great question, and although we can’t experience the answer at the moment (Santa is around for a good few hundreds of years to come I suspect) I have no doubt just this one lie we are told in our early years devastates the absolute trust a child feels.

36. Not to pick on one country, but, research of the food bought for the Thanksgiving to Christmas holiday season in the US could end world hunger for a year. And, how ironic that Thanksgiving was a feast to rescue starving settlers! In 2015 the US retail sales for the Christmas period surpass the GDP of 181 countries

37. Long gone is the, it is better to give than receive mindset because, today we want it all, now! Because of the Santa lie, was not enough let’s have a tooth fairy and an Easter bunny! Do these small little white lies build the cornerstones of our foundation? What will the world look like without these foundation lies?

38. What we are looking for is connection, what we can feel is the lack of connection with substance and I suspect that being aware of the gaping hole between the two experiences is what causes so much of the excessive behaviour we use to cope with the disappointment, perhaps loss and sadness of what we are feeling.

39. This is such a beautiful unraveling of the Christmas myth Gayle, there is so much more to just making up stories, it has a huge ripple effect and disturbs our pillars of truth manifold.

40. It is such a bizarre thing really – to make up such a fairy-story/lie and then expect our children to be true and real in life.

    1. Yes, very much brought to the point Jenny. Thus it shows how disconnected we a live to truth believing that life is lived in sections instead of always as a whole.

41. What is more earth shattering for a child to feel when the lie of Santa is exposed is not only how they have been lied to by their parents and hence in many ways manipulated into believing something that is not true, is that they also chose to sell out to it knowing deep within it was a lie in the first place. It is most certainly not a loving practice to impose this ideal onto our children.

42. Maybe because we miss connecting to the True magic of our world that is there in abundance for us every day and the true connection with each other that is always available that we have to invent and lie about a false version?

43. It is the end of October and I heard Christmas songs in the supermarket yesterday. My mother used to buy Christmas presents in the January sales – this makes the whole consumersised charade over 3 months long and then along comes the chocolate coated Easter Bunny!

44. “And so I continue to wonder… how would the world change if we, as children, weren’t lied to in the first few years of our life?” It is very important and thus will bring the reality and truth back to what children are already feeling.

45. Being truthful is something most parents tell their children to be, yet so often are hypocritical, which is why our trust can start to erode. The way we live can inspire children, children notice everything, and the best way to teach children, or anyone anything is by living that way yourself.

46. The santa claus myth never made sense, and I hated being lied to, its a bit like do they think I’m stupid-so they can tell me whatever, but there was a part of me with the santa myth that wanted to believe in something magical, that there was something more to this life.

47. I have often wondered about the damage the santa claus myth does to children. I kept it alive, uncomfortably so, for many years with my kids and they all express their devastation at finding out it wasn’t true. In fact, they wanted to keep it going for a few extra years because they felt they got so much out of it. So, I started to understand that although they felt the devastation of being lied to, they also felt how they benefited from that lie and therefore they were ok about keeping it going.

48. It is interesting that so many celebrate Christmas by way of an excuse to over indulge and be merry! Yet why do we need an excuse to have family round and enjoy one another’s company, when there are so many other days in the year.

49. Reading this today, I can really feel how evil this is. Children naturally know there’s more to life than meets the eyes and they meet the world with a sense of wonder. This lie about Christmas deliberately sets children up to believe that there is something magical about this world, and that there is someone we don’t really get to see but knows every child in the world and exactly what they want – all this, only to tell them later that it is a lie. I wonder how that might affect the likelihood of them believing there is god after being crushed like that by someone close and is meant to care for them.

50. I have always told my daughter the truth about Christmas. The myth to keep Christmas alive can be quite strong because of the strong beliefs and lies others in society live around Christmas – possibly also because there’s a belief there will be more presents if this lie continues. Quite crazy real the focus we put on Christmas when there are another 364 days of the years to equally celebrate and enjoy with family and friends.

51. Thank you Gayle for this, there is such an obvious hypocrisy here, we teach our children to not lie and yet we lie to them, and while we may convince ourselves it’s a little fib, it sets up a pattern of mistrust. So why not just celebrate being with our children and families with the truth of who we are and without any mythical personas or creatures. It would set a whole new paradigm for us all.

52. I love what you are bringing out here Gayle, there are so many stories we tell and yet they are not true and, as you point out, on the other hand we teach our children to be honest and not lie. We live a very contradictory life and think we can get away with it. But it does not make sense and causes confusion in our minds and bodies.

53. It really doesn’t make sense to make Christmas about Santa and gifts, when it is not the gifts that we really want. Underneath all the hype what we want is to connect and spend time with those we love. Which is often strained because of what we think we need to do and produce for a happy Christmas. When really it is simply one day of the year. Even the belief that it is more special than any other day sets us up for disappointment when what we believe it should be is not how it is. The hype around Christmas causes more harm than we are ready to admit.

    1. Christmas has become another ideal pushed by those who make profit. We live on a treadmill of daily life dictated to us by the outside and our body reflects how untrue this way of living is as reflected by the stress, misery, exhaustion and other health issues. The true meaning of the life of Christ was love and brotherhood, a soulful way of living. How on earth did we get to a bearded man with reindeer, and presents award to those who are “good”? We need to get back to the presence we can live being the love we are

54. It’s really bizarre how we keep this tradition of lying to our youngs only to let them down as soon as we think they are old enough to be able to handle being told they have been lied to all along. Surely, truth is good enough for our children from the word go.

    1. The problem is our whole life is a lie, it’s not just Santa Claus. By not living the love we are in essence, by not expressing the truth we all deeply feel, by not living joy and harmony and simply being our amazing soulful essence our lives are a lie. Santa is just one branch but by focusing on it alone we risk being captured and held in the whole house of lies we have constructed. Santa didn’t arrive one day as a lie, it’s a more obvious lie that’s nestled in a whole way of life.

55. Through the lies and myths on Christmas we educate our kids that being a believer pays off.

    1. You’ve gone straight to the heart of the issue here Eduardo.

56. “Being truthful is something most parents teach their children. However, seldom are we taught to know the truth by feeling it in our body.” I feel you are onto something here that is potentially quite ground-breaking Gayle. ‘The body is the marker of all truth’ is one of many ancient wisdoms shared by Serge Benhayon. All children deserve to know this – it is their birthright.

57. A great article Gayle exposing just one of the lies we are told as children that can’t not but taint our ability to trust the world that perpetuates the lie en masse and our parents who deliver it as if it is an innocent fib that does not harm. However it is a hurt and disappointment on many levels that children do not need … and a denial of the fact that joy can be found in life or at Christmas without some elaborate fantastical story.

58. Wow this is a very real and poignant sharing about christmas and the lies we tell to keep up the false beliefs but what for ! the real joy of christmas is simply getting together in brotherhood and sharing time together which can be on a daily basis and not just christmas day and allows true connection and brotherhood as part of our everyday livingness and appreciation, now this is a real gift.

59. I remember vividly the day I found out that Santa wasn’t real (and the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy), I was home sick from school and I was well over starting school. I was devastated, all the magic I thought was real was one big lie, and my parents had been so convincing. I was also asked to lie and not tell my sister or cousins… ‘just play along with it’. It is crushing to find out, 1 that you have been lied to and 2 that you fell for it and didn’t listen to the feelings that told you otherwise. Surprisingly I still went along with it with my own boys but as soon as they asked, I told them. If I had my time over again, I would never lie to them.

    1. That is a wonderful realisation Aimee. There is true magic in this world that our children do, in the main, yet feel – and it is this that deserves to be fostered.

    2. Yes, we think we are keeping something magical alive but actually we are setting children up for such a let down because when you realise that all your excitement has been an illusion and that some of it was to control you it brings up deep feelings of resentment at the years of manipulation. As you unpeel this it just goes deeper and deeper.

       1. It is a good way to make sure that we then have an issue around seeing the real magic and wonder of life and the magic of God by setting up a false version of magic.

60. This Christmas season has offered me reflections around food and loneliness. As ever, food plays a big part in Christmas celebrations – less so than in the past – but still it is a focal point during the day. This year I felt the impulse to be aware that the way to deal with this external focus is to connect with the deliciousness within ourselves – rather than seek it in food. With loneliness, something similar happened. The impulse here is to recognise that we are all eternally connected within our hearts and hence realise that whatever distance there may appear to be between us and our families, we are never truly separated from them. We can feel our connection with them and with all things within ourselves if we choose. In fact, the ‘alternative’ message of this Christmas has been one of ‘whatever it is we seek outside of ourselves, is a reflection of that which we need to reconnect to within’. A gift worth taking into the new year and beyond in my view.

61. The thing is, why have we taken it so far as to ‘invent’ and lie about the existence of magic, when it is in truth all around us – if we but open up our eyes to see and appreciate the magic of God’s Love, and His Love in and through us, in our everyday lives?
    The hurt of a child who realises they’ve been lied to about ‘Santa’, the elves and the rest, likely reveals a far deeper hurt over the magic that has been lost and predominantly forgotten in our societies, and a call for us to live in a way where we do not, ever, forget.

    1. Beautifully said Victoria, it’s like this controlled lie is placed on children from very young, I say controlled because it asks them to look ‘here’ at something that is not true, instead of the seeing magic the magic that is all around them that they naturally know from when they are born.

       1. That’s it Aimee. We place enormous value upon the lie, masking the fact of our refusal to embrace the magic that is truly there, 24/7 without fail. For if we admitted to what we’ve lost touch with, we would have to deal with what’s occurred for us, and the choices that we’ve made, that have so divorced us from living in touch with the true magic of God’s Love in our everyday.
          What ‘greater’ way to say to our children that yes, there is magic in this world – but you can only have access to it on ‘special occasions’. In fact, as you grow you’ll lose the magic that you innately know and will need these ‘special occasions’ based upon falsity (as we do…) in order to give some lift to your life, however momentary…
          We are so much more than these ways we’ve allowed to dominate our societies. It’s time to bring the magic back.

62. I cottoned onto the Santa thing very, very young, but will fully admit that there was a playfulness in going along with leaving out the cookies for him and carrot for the reindeer that I had fun with… We would delight in the fact that the food would be gone in the morning, for the fun and play that it brought to the household.
    Thing was, did we really ‘need’ the excitement and rah-rah of all the Christmas ‘stuff’, food and the rest? Today, I’d say, no, not at all – that those who truly appreciate and express love in their relationships don’t need to seek ‘more’ from one special day, but rather, if it is chosen as a celebration, it can be a stop moment to truly come together, appreciate where our relationships stand and go deeper in the love that we live. A marker that inspires us for the ‘more’ that can be to come, if we truly commit to a livingness of love in our lives.

63. I gave Santa the kick a while back. Not because the children were going to be told by other children but because the whole thing didn’t make sense to me in my relationship with them. It was no big deal and they treated it as such. We spoke about respecting other people and what they might hold certain things to. It was about them knowing the truth but then feeling whether or not the timing was spot on to share with others. I would much rather be honest and up front about things I become aware of rather then just following what is there. If we look at this and apply a consistent world view you would think in this day and age of science based research, science would have dissected Santa by now?

64. Continuing to keep myths and illusions alive through lying to children about Christmas is simply another way of fostering a long term lack of trust in ourselves, significant others (parents & siblings), humanity and the world. As you share Gayle – this can affect us deeply as adults, with a legacy of having to unravel that which is not true in order to be able to feel and truly discern truth once again. “As an adult, I am now unravelling the impact of those Christmas lies, and I’m now re-learning how to ‘feel’. I am learning how to trust and feel it in my body, to feel the situation, to feel the other person, with my inner heart – and to feel the real truth about Christmas”.

65. Although people think it is only a small and very innocent lie about Santa Clause, the reality behind this is that we can easily be told lies as if they were true, and as everybody is involved in the plot it is hard to find the real truth. Then only when we individually find, by sensing or logical reasoning, that something cannot be true, the veils will be lifted and the reality becomes visible again. How lost can we be as a society when we collectively hold onto lies only for our own pleasure and welfare and in that consistently are avoiding the real purpose of our lives here on earth?

66. Funny Gayle, it was something I had never considered, but that feeling of surely my parent’s wouldn’t lie – but indeed it does bring up a feeling of unsettled trust – in the sense of ‘what else are they holding out on me’. If our parents are our first experience of love and trust and commitment to truth, then what responsibility do we have as parents to reflect those qualities.

67. From what you write I can feel how much we dishonour and undermine our children by telling them these so-called ‘fibs’ about Santa Claus and all the other commercially and socially motivated Christmas stories, fibs which in truth are big huge lies. Why do we align to this when we know it’s not true? Since when is lying a virtue?

    1. That is a great question Gabriele, since when is lying a virtue. What comes to me when pondering on this question is that this Santa Clause thing is only one of the lies that we hold in life without any consideration to what it actually means to lie. We think it is innocent and sometimes needed to, but in fact we are denying who we are and where we are from. We come from truth and our bodies cannot else then live it so what our mind tries us to belief is leading us away from that inner knowing, that connection with the all and the truth that belongs to our being, individually and as a society and when we can observe from that we can see the result of this in the state of our societies today.

68. I still remember when I overheard one of my siblings talking about Santa not being real ! I was about five at the time. It must have quite an affect on most children because I still remember the exact place I was standing ! Perhaps there is another way, less traumatic that we can celebrate and appreciate one another and the birth of Jesus as well!

69. This question of the ramifications of finding out about the Christmas lie was brought home to me when the next question after ‘Is Santa real’ (answer No) was ‘what about the Tooth Fairy then’. The thing I had not considered is then just how deep that goes… that there are bound to be more questions and this massive sense of doubt creeps in relating to everything that has been presented by parents and society so far. I think these ‘fun little lies’ are in fact deeply harmful.

70. With what I know now, if I had young children I would tell them the truth about Christmas, as they can feel it any way and by lying to them we are supporting them to not trust what they feel. That is NOT love.

71. I actually don’t remember being told there wasn’t a Father Christmas, possibly because I had to keep the story going for my younger brother and sister, but if I go by how I felt when my own daughter started to question his existence I was relieved, relieved that I could let the socially ‘imposed’ lie, go.

72. I’ve always felt uncomfortable about the whole Santa Claus lie. I never got told it myself and I know this gave me a great assurance in my mother – together with her very lovely explanation about how babies are made when I was 5. I was brought up more in a northern European tradition of celebrating Christmas on Christmas eve – included in this was seeing the adults secretly wrapping up Christmas present – secretly because they wanted us to have the fun of opening them and not knowing what was there, not because they were pretending Santa had arrived. Knowing Santa was made up I found it odd adults wanted to pretend otherwise. It wasn’t like I wasn’t up for believing in magic – at 13 I believed my brother when asked where he’d been on Halloween when he said he’d been flying on the garden broom!

    But now I wonder why it is that whole nations try to buy into Santa Claus. Is it because people want to reclaim the magic they once felt as a child (hang out with a two year old and discover the whole world is full of wonder) and this is trying an attempt to rekindle it from the usual spectre that life is a struggle? It so doesn’t feel ok lying to children about this and children finding out that someone they trusted wasn’t truthful.

73. What I found interesting was that I was told the Christmas story in relation to my religion and story of Jesus. While like you say I always felt that Santa wasn’t real because it didn’t make sense I was confused because the Christmas story was linked to what I was taught about Jesus and told things like he died on the cross but rose again, he could walk on water etc. When I found out Santa wasn’t real for sure it also placed doubt on the stories I had heard about God and Jesus. On reflecting on this now the way Jesus and God were shared with me was very much from an ideal and that they were super human or superior and I was very far from that. This never matched the feeling I had inside but I often dismissed what I knew and went for what was the norm.

74. I remember quite clearly how I gradually learnt to accept lies as part of life. I didn’t want to be taken as a fool or seen naïve so behaved as if I knew it already that Santa Clause didn’t exist or whatever other stories adults might have told me. It’s like I was betraying the magic I had known existed in the world although unseen or unbelieved by many – and that must have been one of the biggest lies I started to tell myself.

75. When we tell a lie we have to use a lot of energy, effort and force to keep it rolling. When you look at how much effort, time, focus, money, manpower, emotions and human life in general is directed towards maintaining how Christmas should be it’s pretty staggering! Even this year as I thought about and prepared gifts I could feel a tension within me, this want to please and be recognised by what I bring/make/buy. It makes me feel very tense just righting about it. What I have been feeling more this year is how this season can slow us down (it’s cold outside!) human connection is greater than objects (and since its cold what better way to stay warm than with others?) and a chance to take stock of the year, not just in objects but in my relationships with myself, others and life. To look back and see what has occurred over the year and celebrate what is coming with us in the new cycle of 12 months. This Christmas is so different from the last one in how I’ve grown and this is well worth celebrating!

76. As Christmas descends upon us for another year it is great to read your blog again. We have made Christmas one big lie, the forced family gatherings, the brief annual brush with religion in the form of nativity plays and midnight mass, the excuse to indulge in alcohol and food and to spend ridiculous amounts of money on gifts and presents. The squabbles and the depression that follows. We have grown Christmas into this huge commercial wheel where everyone is expected to ‘enjoy’ themselves on this one particular day. I remember as a child after the excitement of opening my presents in the early hours of the morning that everything after that was an anti climax and I never really enjoyed the rest of the day. As a child I knew that something was false about the whole day and could not bring myself to fully embrace it. Christmas is about family first and foremost we need to bring it back to the simplicity of this instead of the lengthy build up of expectation and anxiousness that precedes the 25th December.

77. So, christmas is this amazing time when people come together, when relationships are important, when nature is important, when sparkle and wonderment is openly encouraged. So it does make me wonder why we would feel the need to also include deception and lies in to this already beautiful mix?

78. The true celebration at Christmas for me is connecting, and spending quality time with loved ones, family and friends…. the light of christ that lives within each of us.

79. Next to the lies, people use it to manipulate the children, ‘be quiet otherwise you won’t get gifts when the time is there. In the Netherlands Sint Nicolaas is the one we tell children lies about, we celebrate him on 5th December with getting gifts and sweets. There has been and is some discussion around this figure because of his helpers who are painted black faces. And a lot of people are saying ‘all that fuss around Sint Nicolaas, it is just an innocent play’, but just like Santa Claus it is never innocent to lie to children and turn down the trust in themselves.

80. Why is it that adults perpetuate the fantasy of Santa Claus with children? If children were not told the story of Santa Claus then they wouldn’t be missing out because they wouldn’t know any different. Being fed the lie that he is real, and then as young children finding out or being told he isn’t, is a betrayal to them. The people they trust the most, who are their whole world have lied to them.

81. Hi Gayle it is nearly Christmas and I have to re-read your awesome blog about christmas. Your sharing is such a good reminder about trusting my own feelings and never deny them. So, what came up this year is – what if some of us play the Christmas lie game to not confront our parents that we know the truth?

82. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jeshua. How in the world we have ended up associating God with rewards?

83. A beautiful reminder that Christmas is a time of quiet repose, thank you Gayle.

84. ‘Being truthful is something most parents teach their children. However, seldom are we taught to know the truth by feeling it in our body’. Could you imagine if we were all taught to feel truth in our body from our parents and then was continued at school….. as children and as adults we would feel so much safer in this world being able to feel and discern truth.

85. I agree Gayle, the impact and the manipulation in lying to kids about Christmas and Santa Claus is huge – so many parents use it as a way to manipulate children into being good in the months leading up to it, and also to cap children and keep them from growing up… it really is quite insidious.

86. Purpose of Santa = marketing ploy + controlling children to be good and get on the ‘nice list’ + give them some hope that their is magic and more to life than we can see only to take it away from them again.
    If we all returned to the knowing that we are multi-dimensional and can feel energy than we wouldn’t need to make up stories to make life more magical.

87. Rarely are we asked to actually ponder what the point might be to lie to our children about Santa Claus. Just reading this brings the most puzzled look to my face, a look of disbelief. Why on earth do we feel the need to sweeten the deal for these kids. Why do we need this lie? To make them happy? Why do we think we need to make them happy? Are we not providing them with enough love and attention, do we feel guilty, and is perhaps the whole commerciality of Christmas an attempt to buy some extra points? It’s actually absurd. Society comes up with some serious doozies, and then we hang on to them for centuries and watch the cycle repeat and repeat.

88. Lying about Santa Claus and telling Christmas myths is the desperate attempt to bring some magic back into our lives and especially our Children’s lives. What we do not realise is that our children don’t need that, especially in those early years cause their world is still very magical and it is us that have lost that connection to another dimension, to God and our multidimensionality and are in desperate need to be reminded of it. So could it be that this whole Christmas myth is more to satisfy our own needs than our children’s?

89. You are so right Gayle. We do, as children, begin to doubt not just our parents and the ones who have lied to us, but also ourselves and as we grow up it becomes extremely harming – not being able to discern truth from lie

90. I have often wondered the same things Gayle. How much our trust is affected when we are told that Father Christmas, as he is so-called here in the UK, is not real. Those closest to us who we love unconditionally reveal they have been lying to us all along. That’s feels pretty devastating from where I stand now.

91. “Being truthful is something most parents teach their children. However, seldom are we taught to know the truth by feeling it in our body.” I didn’t really learn about this until I came to Universal Medicine presentations. having lived most of my life in my mind – and being told to ‘get over it’ in as many words when young if I hurt myself. Being truthful with children doesn’t equate with the myths that surround childhood, like with Father Christmas and also the tooth fairy.

92. I suppose lying in such a way while in many ways seems harmless to me, does create an inconsistency in the message we send children. I certainly remember feeling a bit confused about the lie, even though I knew from a young age it wasn’t true. There is something in the way the story is conveyed that makes it either playful and fun or damaging in its falseness.

93. I am so over Christmas, it promises everything but delivers nothing, and I agree about lying to children, it’s awful when you found out you’ve been lied to, whether you’re 6 or 35 – it’s never worth leaving someone feeling that way.

94. In reading this article Gayle, I could feel just how much as children we choose to go with what seems to make our parents happy. How this sets up a life of doing and living to please others, and how those little lies, actually become the life we live, until we stop and gather again the strength to follow the truth we have always known. The truth we have always felt held in our bodies.

95. The plethora of Christmas myths is telling children that it is ok and normal to tell lies.

96. “I’ve always disliked the push of Christmas consumerism, the over expenditure, the forced family gatherings, the excessive consumption of food and alcohol, the inherent squabbles, often followed by the disappointment and depression.” This is most people’s reality at Christmas time and yet we keep repeating it coming back to the same point thinking that somehow it will be different from previous years. Yet how can the experience be any different if we haven’t deepened the true intimacy with ourselves and others in the meantime.

97. Gayle what you have shared is precious. I just got the depth of what you have just shared with the lies told about Santa. ……..add it to all the other things adults lied about before I even turned 5. What is true family, true way to live , true for my body to eat and drink, true love and caring, truth in word, truth in action. The list is endless and there may be others that are still to surface. So by the time the ridiculousness of Christmas was exposed, I already know.

98. As adults these ‘white lies’ may look harmless. But really to children they are the exact opposite. I recall discovering my christmas present in mum and dads wardrobe one year and felt so sad afterwards. You know I think my interest in Christmas change a lot after that time. Really when you look at it the santa myth is actually a very cruel joke because adults love seeing children all excited, waiting for christmas and then waiting for santa, who only came when you slept. But at the same time adults end up running ourselves ragged to maintain this myth too.

99. ‘Santa Scam’ sums up the rampant consumerism that has overtaken Christmas so well Ariana and exposes who really benefits the most from the pressure to keep up with everyone else. Good to explore how I have perpetuated this myth with my own actions and feel into what needs to change.

100. Thank you Gayle and all those who have commented for this great exposure of the price of the Christmas lie. The price to society is huge and seems to be ever increasing with the ramped up consumerism, stress and self abusive behaviour but the truly scary part is the price paid by our children who having been lied to are then expected to collude with it for the ‘benefit’ of others. We constantly repeat that they should not lie and then demonstrate that we expect them ‘to do as we say not as we do’ and set them up to fit in with society at great cost to their own integrity.

101. If any teacher attempted a lesson that suggested a little white lie was OK so long as no-one got hurt, but that it was OK to render someone feeling duped, foolish and let down, then I guarantee a throng of parents would soon be on the case to complain and to demand the need for truth and integrity in class. So why does a truly loving parent enter into this mass Santa collusion? A lie is a lie, no matter its colour, its length or its size. The impact is not only the often unexpressed humiliation and lack of trust that follows the crashing truth once the reindeer’s let out of the bag, but also the fact that we all grow up with such high expectations from 1/365th of the calendar year. That’s an awful lot of investment projected onto one single day and thus a ripe breeding ground for an annual return of significant disappointment.

     1. Yes we stridently demand integrity from others and overlook the lack of integrity in our own lives with Christmas being a massive example of this. It is heartening to read how so many are choosing to question this and making changes that feel true to them and focusing on the true magic of God and power of connecting with others without expectation.

102. Excellent contribution, thank you. We do know that Santa Claus is not real, but we collude with the adults – firstly in the story and then by emulating behaviours that are expected of us; we do our best to make them happy and feel confirmed in this make-believe world that they have drawn us into and we sort of end up convincing ourselves that we must be wrong and they be right – only to be rudely awakened years later and then conscripted as accomplices in the plot against younger siblings. It doesn’t make sense.

103. After reading this article I am left pondering whether the lie about Santa Clause is the worst thing about Christmas. The over indulgence in food, the pretence around liking people you may barely know or feel comfortable with, the alcohol and bizarre, ‘cheery’ behaviour can all leave an impression that the whole event is a lie. These social grooming customs of what a good time should be is perhaps more likely to imprint on one’s image of life than a fat man in a red suit sliding down a chimney. No doubt the image of being rewarded for being good is certainly a very ingrained one, yet I wonder if finding out this character who judges those who are good and rewards them is a myth, may not be such a tragedy after all.

104. What I find always interesting regarding Christmas day is that by celebrating it so elaborately as we do in many ways it leaves us thinking that one day is far more important than the other 364/365 days of the year when it is so not.

105. Last year on facebook a mother posted a brilliant letter, her 10year old gave her, that expressed very very clearly the fury she felt when she was told that Santa was not real and that her parents had been lying to her. The depth of betrayal she felt was palpable in her writing and supports exactly what you are saying in this blog Gayle.

106. I continue to be more than irked by this annual wholesale conspiracy and dishonouring of very young minds. For many kids it’s their first betrayal and yet it’s laughed off by the parents or more insidiously, quickly converted into an invitation to enjoin, for the sake of keeping the illusion going with those who are still young enough not to have cottoned on. When did we as a society condone this mass delusion and feel it was right to bring our children up in a way that encourages deception under the guise of a little white lie, perpetuating it through the generations out of an unquestioned custom and practice? Seems our sense of absoluteness has been lost here. For can there ever be a not-quite-truth and a not-quite-lie? And more importantly, where is our sense of responsibility for bringing up our children to value truth over everything?

107. Thank you Gayle for such an awesome blog this is an important subject to share with others. I have a young daughter and I have never felt comfortable with the whole Santa thing or Easter bunny etc. I have told her the truth about Santa because I knew that I never wanted to lie to her just to keep this myth going, it is interesting how so many people do continue this lie to their children and how crushed the children feel when they finally find out the truth – is it really worth it?

108. It’s amazing how we blindly follow and perpetuate these lies onto subsequent generations. It was the only time I’ve deliberately lied to my children and I never questioned it thinking that I was providing wonderful memories and fun for them. When they found out they were truly devastated and I was shocked to realise and feel the harm that I had caused these two beautiful children through the betrayal of their trust.

109. This year we made Christmas about family and connection with each other and it was amazing. My first truest feeling Christmas ever. It was lovely to experience and know it was a continuation of all we have built as a family.

110. I have been completely honest with my daughter about everything in her life including about Santa not being true. She has appreciated this and I would not want to break her trust with such a crazy story. She appreciates my consistent honesty and has expressed such things as ‘my mum doesn’t lie to me’.
     The honesty she has grown up with is supportive even though she does find it tricky when other children and adults around her keep this Santa lie going.

111. The Santa thing and all that goes with this lie is completely ridiculous. It’s quite hard to fathom just how much we swallow as truth when the practicality of a strange fat man visiting every home/ chimney is just not possible and some would say we choose this over being honest and true and enough to be the ones giving a gift to our loved ones. How much of relating are we actually missing out on when we leave it all up to Santa to be pretending to do all the work and receive the thanks. . . But only if we have been judged as being ‘good’.

112. Thank you Gayle. You share many super valid points for others to consider. A very needed sharing and blog.
     When I read through all the Christmas lies I said to myself ‘wow humans are really gullible’ or is it that we want to believe in something magical – so much so we tell these lies to our children and our children’s children. But crazy really because we do all know what feels true in our bodies. So there must be a part of us that chooses to continue the lie on a way of pretending or not wanting to accept as young children that those we look up to are actually lying to us.

113. Gayle thank you for your blog, I have been pondering on what you have brought up here and how it is all part of the set up to destroy what a child innately knows. It starts as a little white lie, although in reality its huge and when you finally find out the truth, you are asked to continue the lie for the sake of others. From there we are manipulated into playing the game of life, knowing the truth but not speaking out because we are pleasing our parents by continuing the lie. Life is now set up for us to continue to please people no matter what the truth is.

114. Theres another layer also. My daughter now at 11 years old is very challenged being around younger cousins and friends who still believe, having to ‘play along’ with the Santa lie. She feels forced to be apart of the whole myth and is resisting the question coming up of ‘what did Santa bring you?’ Gosh we have woven a tangled weave of lies.

115. What do we teach when we say that Santa is real?
     We teach children that they are gifted by a big stranger in a red suit that comes into their home late at night and decides if they have been good or bad.
     We teach them that some children get lots from Santa and some get little.
     We teach them not to trust their feelings.
     We teach them to lie to their younger siblings.
     It’s an interesting concept to assume that the ‘magic’ of santa is more magical than parents gift giving.
     We have so much magic in this world.
     The magic of love and play and nature and God.
     Why opt for an old bearded stranger with a pipe?

116. we can feel what truth is, and we start to recognize its resonance, and in this resonance we start to feel to our core, and it becomes a part of us, and then the foundation of our life is truth.

     1. I agree that the fondation of our life is truth so we should do everything to support, nuture and encourage our children and each other to honour the truth they feel.

        1. Exactly Andrew, and when we do that those around us have the opportunity to align, literally, to this feeling of what truth is… And this is only then that what is not true starts to feel so off

117. The impact of lying to us as little children is enormous, I am pondering and feeling the impact of the whole Christmas hype having read your blog Gayle. It’s another assault on the purity of a child when we find out about the lies, loosing our trust in adults and in trusting of ourselves, how could we be so gullible to believe such fanciful stories. We also get a double whammy when we talk to friends and they mock the fact that you didn’t already know. Such an assault at an age when you have a natural connection and inate knowing, to be lured by presents and excitement into the Xmas trap.

118. It does seem to be an outdated myth that Santa is real. When we consider the cost of the new toys of today and most technology that children would like, costs a fortune, and most parents cannot afford to buy these items without putting them on Credit cards that are more than likely over drawn anyway, just for one days pleasure. I have also been aware of how much children receive throughout the year so in some ways
     Christmas isn’t special anymore rather just another day to get what we want! In saying this I do enjoy seeing the pleasure on childrens faces when we all get together and they open gifts! Connecting with family is as pleasure too.

119. “I’ve always disliked the push of Christmas consumerism, the over expenditure, the forced family gatherings, the excessive consumption of food and alcohol, the inherent squabbles, often followed by the disappointment and depression.” It is exactly how I felt about Christmas since 2001. Before it I didn’t consider it at all as I grow up in communist country and we celebrated New Year only.

     People with children like Christmas, it is fun, presents, Christmas trees even for one day or week. But what about others?

     The demographic study – based on analysis of more than 2,500 censuses, surveys and population registers – finds 2.2 billion Christians (32% of the world’s population), 1.6 billion Muslims (23%), 1 billion Hindus (15%), nearly 500 million Buddhists (7%) and 14 million( or 22.9 million according to Google) Jews around the world as of 2010.18 Dec 2012 and it doesn’t include people with no religion at all.

     We don’t celebrate their religios holiday so why should they celebrate Christmas?

     All this fuss, food shopping, Christmas shopping which starts in October for some, the enormous amount of Christmas trees which need to be grown and then recycled, Christmas wrapping papers as well-what all this for?

     Maybe we just miss the magic of God, our true family, true celebration, joy and craving for it, trying to replace it with all the lights and glitter because deep within we know how grand it is?

120. The Christmas lie is sold to us in the way of presents. We feel energy so we know when a lie is being produced but as a small child or even an adult, we obligingly accept the lie as who doesn’t like receiving a gift or two.

121. Oh my goodness I have just seen with a bang how with the concept of Santa Claus (and similar scenarios adopted by other cultures) we have been keeping alive some of the toughest beliefs that I have struggled so much to let go of:
     1- We need to be ‘good’! A far cry from ‘honouring what we feel is true from within us’.
     2- If we are good we will win other people’s approval and will be rewarded for it, otherwise we will go without.
     3- Reward is to be expected for validating our actions and who we are. So if reward does not come this somehow invalidates our actions and who we are.
     4- Possessions are important and count as validation of who we are. The more we have the happier we will be.
     This is huge!

     1. Thanks for this Golnaz.
        1.Being Good
        2.Winning Approval
        3.Rewarded to Validate
        4.Possessions equal happiness.
        OUCH. Lets expose this far and wide. Got a sleigh? We could get it done in one night? 🙂

     2. The damage caused by the pressure to be good rather than be true to yourself and all the expectations that go with that exposed so well. Thanks Golnaz.

122. ” … seldom are we taught to know the truth by feeling it in our body.” Like you, Gayle, I’m also removing the layers of discounting what I feel in my body and my ‘knowing’ – it’s actually super easy when I do honour that feeling and knowing – currently, the harder part is in expressing it, this is another unravelling and healing that is happening.

123. I remember as a child hearing bells jingling and then my parents appearing at my bedroom door smiling and saying did you hear that, and of course I had. We discussed that I had to go to sleep because Santa won’t come otherwise and I agreed, but actually didn’t sleep as I was too excited and sat looking out of the window for hours waiting to see the sleigh and the reindeer. Then my sister suggested we creep down in the night and open some of our presents which were under the tree, which of course we did. Also weeks before christmas I would look in all of the cupboards to find the christmas presents my parent had hidden – so I actually knew without them telling me that Santa was not real and we all agreed without saying anything, to keep this lie going between us. They didn’t have to tell me because I could feel the change in the atmosphere at home as christmas approached and would catch snippets of their conversations when they thought I was out of ear shot. It was like knowing something without having the physical proof.

     1. I remember well as a child knowing when I was told a lie. It is something I felt in my body. Over the years I lost this ability to perceive as I desperately wanted to believe what I was told. I was often described as too trusting, too gullible, naive. I know now that it was a form of protection as feeling the truth was too painful. I am learning to trust my body as the ultimate marker of truth.

124. That time of year is rapidly approaching when consumption and excess become the norm for many, to see the year out. Over eating, drinking and incurring debts from buying things we don’t really want, that may take till next Christmas to pay for are common. The grand finale seems to be to gather all the family that have not been talked to for the last year because of the falling out from last year… gathering again to perpetuate the family falling out Xmas dinner. Our house has stepped out of this whole crazy end of the year Merry-go-round in closing the year in excess in everything. We do not even put up a tree, try not to go anywhere near any shop or mall, its great now to have 24 food stores – we buy veg the week before, because at xmas people seem to buy like the world is ending! We really enjoy and appreciate where we have come to this year. It is the only day left in the year where there is a full stop from having to work…and it is slowly being eroded. I love the stillness of the Christmas morning walk.

     1. Totally agree – going for an early morning walk on Christmas Day is fantastic, the stillness, although in truth always there and underneath the busy-ness, is palpable.

125. I remember the conversation with my eldest daughter quite clearly… she just came up and popped the question ‘is Santa real’. I knew I could not lie to her straight out like that, and there was this horrible feeling in me of revealing the lack of this magical being coupled with the fact that I had been lying to her. I’d never want to go through that again, and given the choice I’d do it differently and concentrate on the magic that we all feel every day, that comes from trusting and being connected to what we feel is true.

     1. It is excruciating to know that millions of people are in that same place as you Simon every year, when their child asks them ‘is Santa Real’ and the inner turmoil and confusion they have: “should I continue lying to my child? or should I burst the ‘happy’ bubble I have created for them?”. It seems most decide it is more caring to continue the bubble, yet your comment shows just how misguided that is. What a gift it would be if we chose, as well as not lying, to support our child to become acquainted with “the magic that we all feel every day, that comes from trusting and being connected to what we feel is true”, and not look to this one day in the year to make up for the rest of the year.

     2. Gorgeous sharing Simon that when your daughter asked you knew you couldn’t lie to her.

     3. Hi Simon
        Yes the myth about Santa Claus was encouraged by my eldest daughter and I went along with it to make her happy.
        It always made me so uncomfortable and the first chance I had to speak to my younger daughter at 7 about the truth I did. She was so annoyed and said I should have told her when she was 6 and second guessing herself.
        I would discourage anyone to do the ‘santa thing’ it fosters doubt and confusion in our children. Teaching them to not trust their own feelings.

        1. Why do we presume that our children wouldn’t want to know the truth? There is so much here that we are holding back from our young that sells them a lie that sooner or later is revealed in the most difficult and often doubting situations.

     4. Its weird how the focus is on some rather irrelevant jolly fat fellow dressed in red rather than the relationships and what it truly means to rest and relax.

126. I never really thought of christmas that way and it is really confronting to read this blog and the comments. Confronting in a good way. What effect does it have on our children to be lied to at such an early age about santa clause, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy And how does it effect them when they realize that they believed all this nonsens even though they felt it couldn’t be true. I actually thought it would bring some magic in their lifes, an adventure of some sort because I enjoyed that time of year so enormously when I was small and wanted them to have that too. Now I realize that all I was doing was teaching them that we need entertainment to enjoy life. Ouch.

127. There is so much that’s wrong about the perpetuation of the Santa Claus lie to children of an age at which trust lost can have a lifelong effect on relationships and their degree of openness or measuredness. Yet each new parental generation begets the same story, dishing out the same myth to a mini-adult who’s trying to making sense of a baffling world. That’s not loving, that’s pure deception dressed in Christmas wrapping.

     1. I absolutely agree Cathy, I always felt it very odd and confusing when I was a child as I knew something didn’t feel right about what everyone was saying about Christmas, most children do yet they play along as they feel they get more presents if they do.

128. What you have shared here Gayle is so true. I told my children those lies when they were little and I am now feeling how utterly wrong that is and what effect it may have had on them in terms of trust, honesty and truth. As an adult I really did not appreciate the effect it could have had on them which makes me ponder the other things that may have happened in their childhood that I just did not appreciate at that time. I was so bound up by ideals and beliefs and found it so hard to move away from those. Thank you Serge Benhayon for presenting a different way for me and to the esoteric practitioners who continue to support me along the way.

129. I have had the same thoughts Gayle. Also Who are we telling the lie for, is it ourselves so we can enjoy the look on our children’s faces when Santa has been and left so many beautiful gifts to bring joy into all our hearts for a few hours? I feel that the retailers would be the ones devastated if Santa never left the North Pole and instead retired. What joy most Parents would feel and the huge sigh of relief to be able to say no we don’t have the money to buy that expensive toy or game. And no more huge debt to pay off the credit card! I can see what you are saying about the mistrust we may have in what our Parents tell us from that point on. I was 6 when I overheard my 8 yr old sibling talking about Santa not being real, and how disappointed I felt!. Much food for thought Gayle.

130. I grew up in a Catholic family and I can remember the confusion I had around this growing up, I can’t remember when I knew for certain this wasn’t true, maybe I always knew but I can remember the feeling of disappointment and confusion as to why adults would do this and what the purpose of this was for. It starts with lies like this that appear seemingly ‘innocent’ but what it also does it create a space for us to be okay with untruths, if we grew up were truth was what was lived then our society would be a very different place. When we create these seemingly ‘ok’ or ‘innocent’ untruths we are allowing an area for manipulation and lack of accountability to enter, when we experience this as a kid it starts to make us accept that in life not having the full truth is okay.

131. Thanks Gayle, not only have we been misled by lies around Christmas we have been lied to from an early age about almost everything which is why we have to refer to what we know in our heart to discern what is true or false.

132. It has been great to re-read this blog Gayle. I have always had a hard time with lying to children about Christmas; it did not make sense; how did we come up with this humongous lie corroborated by many people all around the globe for so long……… it is a real indicator where we are at with truth. One thing has made me continue years ago, as I felt sad for kids to have to lose out on the magic; but why do we need this bit of magic? Could it be because we know everyday life can be magical, and is meant to be magical, if we truly connect and meet each other, and especially our kids? But we are all ‘too busy’ with just ‘getting on with it’, so we feel we need to make it up to them, because deep down we know we are short changing each other, with not fully connecting with each other, so the illusion of a ‘Happy Christmas’ is there to help us ‘make good’ on all the love we have missed giving to each other the year.

     1. I’ve written a few blogs in recent years and I’ve ticked the box that notifies me of new comments on all of them. This allows me, along with you, to deepen and evolve with each comment that is contributed. Of all the blogs, this one about christmas lies and christmas myths and the truth about christmas is, perhaps, the one that plucks at my heart strings the most. It is amazing to feel the whole of humanity collaborating in this scheme. It’s like someone took the wrong fork in the road many, many years ago and everyone who came after them decided to follow and take that same wrong turn. Fortunately for children of the future, we now have journeyers who are making decisions with their eyes and hearts wide open, turning the other direction….that of truth, including ‘There is no Santa Claus. Deal with it!”

     2. You’ve summed it up so beautifully Esther!! Thank you.

133. I was truthful with my kids and acknowledged that Santa wasn’t real very early on, much to the disappointment of other members of my family. I still feel the consciousness of Christmas very strongly from family, but the honesty that sits within me just feels awesome, no matter what is said or how wrong it may be percieved to be.

134. Gayle – this is a big one, although only in that we have all participated in the lie and still observe it being continued. I am noticing a huge reaction within me that says – ‘I don’t want to know’. i have not been innocence in supporting this lie when my children were growing up and at the time I chose not to think about it or acknowledge that it was happening. Adults get something out of living and recycling this lie about Santa, again and again. Some very deep pondering is to happen here. Thank you for exposing the lie and kick starting the fact facing that needs to happen.

135. Adults often think by hiding or bending truth we are protecting children because truth can be too much for children. That’s not true. It is our reaction and re-interpretation of the very truth that hurts.

     1. ‘It is our reaction and re-interpretation of the very truth that hurts.’ So true and are we just really protecting ourselves from truths that we don’t want to face and what message is that giving children that it is OK to be irresponsible and seek to avoid the consequences?

136. I love Christmas, I can see all that can go awry, but I also know that I don’t have to approach it that way. I love catching up with friends and love buying presents for people. The challenge is Santa! Who would have thought, but it was hard not to play the game and enjoy the wonder of anything being possible with my children. I think I would do it differently another time round.

137. What you blog got me pondering is why we need the Christmas lie. Do we feel that life is so miserable / boring etc that we perpetuate this story about someone giving us all that we want – all that we think will make us happy? Children generally don’t feel this way, but the ‘hope’ of adults is imposed on them at a young age, more for the adults sake than the children’s.

138. Christmas has all but lost its true meaning in the quest to make us feel that we are valued by the amount we can overindulge. We lose weight to go to dinners and where we over eat… Office party’s that let you put your hair down a little to far. Spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need. Buy things for others to impress. Have family gatherings once a year to continue last year’s fight.
     We have allowed this to become our new improved normal Christmas? It is time to come back to who we are and not just at this time of year of excess of everything but back to love and self everyday!

139. Brilliant blog Gayle. It is strange really and quite cruel when you see the truth of it as you have exposed, how we have chosen to lie to our children so they fully believe in something that is not true only to tell them that it is not in fact true or real after years of misleading them, even when they question it. How confusing and what a misguided marker of trust and honesty we are offering our children at such a young age. ‘Being truthful is something most parents teach their children. However, seldom are we taught to know the truth by feeling it in our body.’ – this is so true, imagine the difference if we were instead guided to develop our knowing of what truth felt like in our bodies.

     1. Yes Carola, how about teaching children to feel what’s true in their bodies and trusting that? This could be too exposing for us adults, because they would clock how often we are only telling half of the truth; they would be empowered to call us out, calling us to a greater level of responsibility and truth. Are we ready for that?

140. Many seem to lose their way more so at Christmas. Deadlines and extra social gatherings before a summer break and life gets hectic. Last Christmas I witnessed many acts of road rage. A passerby said it was always like this at this time of year. The season of goodwill to all men turned on its head.

141. I forget how I felt – when I found out – that there was no Christkind (in Germany comes the Christkind and not the St.Clause) until I read your honest blog Gayle. I was also aware that there was no Christkind but my father loved to assure us that there was one e.g. he was a hairdresser and he collected blond ringlets and laid them under the christmas tree and told my sister and me that he cut her hair or he made footprints from the window into the garden to show us she was there and so I believed him in the end. It was hurtful when I found out that it was not true and I was very irritated about that. I did not know why I felt not cheated – I guess because I could feel the joy my father had for himself to made all the funny things – he did not want us to feel bad – it was his way to say that he loves us. Children are so intelligent!

142. As children we feel in our body what is true and what is not and are constantly told by our parents and others to override these feelings – the Christmas lie is probably the most obvious example, but there are countless more.

143. A great blog Gayle, growing up with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy being promoted was a little confusing to say the least. I knew from a young age something didn’t feel quite right about Santa etc but then all the adults around me were continuing the lie – which was even more perplexing. Finding out the truth was incredibly empowering and confirming of what I had already felt true in my body, of course I didn’t let me parents know for awhile as I was still attached to getting presents and easter eggs.Thank you for starting the conversation – this is such an important sharing for all to hear.

144. A lie is a lie no matter the glitz and glamour it comes dressed in. I was shattered when I found out Santa wasn’t real. Not because I wouldn’t get presents but because not only my parents but also a whole world had lied to me and willingly so. That was a rather rude awakening at a very young age as to the lies that we are packaged and sold in the name of ‘fun’ and at the expense of truth. My first thought was: ‘if this is a great gigantic worldwide lie, then what else is too?’ A question I still ask today for it seems as a society we have disconnected from all that is true to recklessly and indulgently pursue what is not. Thank you Gayle, for this honest and open exposure.

145. True Gayle, when we grow up with something we can become numb to it as ‘just the way it is’. ‘Its always been this way’ we say. But I love how you bring it back to the fact that what we say about Christmas simply isn’t true and never has been. In bringing this honesty into our daily practice we make room for more truth. This is a real gift and something to celebrate, every day.

146. Thank you Gayle, what do the Xmas lies that we tell our children make up for? The sense of not being able to trust when the lie is exposed may not be felt consciously but it is no doubt felt in the body.

147. Gayle you put it so well, how we as children are fed these stories over Santa Claus and a sleigh full of presents as he whizzes around the world dropping down every chimney or appearing like magic. I do remember being told he wasn’t real, but I had already worked it out, what concerned me most then was what else was untrue.

148. What a great observation! I love how you call out the Christmas lie and the impact this has on the world! I just love that you’re thinking that big.

149. Starting to know and trust that our bodies do actually feel truth, that truth has a resonance, has a recognisable feeling, is a liberating experience, that enables us to build a deep and abiding trust and connection with ourselves, and is the start of bringing clarity and wisdom into our lives.

150. Absolutely Gayle, thanks to Serge Benhayon each day is part of a rhythm or ritual that honours our body.

151. I too was brought up with the myths and lies that surround christmas, which as you say are so contradictory to being told not to tell lies. The possibility those lies could account for some of my lack of trust and confidence issues that I had surrounding what I felt to be true had never occurred to me until reading this. Trusting in what I feel has been a challenge for me but since my involvement with the presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have began to trust once again in what I feel.

152. Great post Gayle, this ‘Santa Claus’/ Christmas lie shows the smallest of lies later on make the biggest of ones, like crime and corruption just become more easy and acceptable. That as a child, lying becomes the norm as we age and interact with people, to bring us further and further away from trusting what we feel inside. This lack of self-trust creates a separation with other people which can lead to conflict, even war.

153. The Christmas lie not only makes us doubt our parents and everything said to us up to that point but it also gives us permission to lie for what we believe to be for the benefit of others being happy, starting a slippery slope into dishonesty which in truth is of benefit to no one.

154. Reproducing the lies about Christmas is just a small example of something we teach kids: to lie is ok if it is for a ‘good cause’. And the truth is that a lie is always a lie, no matter what. It is a door that is better not to open and not to teach that opening it is alright.

     1. Also we call them white lies to cover the truth, so we can live with a lie!

155. Great blog about Christmas Gayle. It shows how each generation has bought into the lie and passed it down from generation to generation. It puts so much pressure on parents to keep up the pretence it would really be far more simpler if we were all told the truth at the beginning.

156. Yet another collusion of dishonesty, which we all know about and yet, as Gayle says we all go on with it, not just that commerce and industry support it. This is indeed a theme that repeats itself again and again, where a lie and illusion is accepted and supported until a bright enough light is held up to reflect truth.

157. It is so insidious this ‘Christmas lie’!
     Well exposed Gayle… I start to wonder – what is the point!? Is it really worth loosing your child’s trust to feel like a good parent providing them with the excitement that there is an amazing man and magic happening with elves, flying raindeers etc. Is it worth concerning them that they may not be able to believe what you say because years later you may say ‘fooled you again!’?
     To me it does not seem worth it. Children are wise.. they know we’re lying so they have already shut down their initial feeling that it’s a lie to believe their parents because they look up to their parents and once being convinced that Santa is real… they then are told later on they have been lied to. I sit here and wonder what is the point of doing that to a child? and how would it affect them in their life from there onwards?

     1. Very true, I bet there is a lot of confidence löss, wondering and pondering on what is being said next is real or fantasy again. Then also it is restricting children to not believe in magic. As there exist magic. By rendering forth this example and telling all children that all magic can happen with santa claus, and then telling them that it has been all a lie, is also sending a signal out that magic does not really exist.. while in fact it magic does exist but not the lie form of magic that they had told. Therefore we are misleading children in many ways, that is absolutely wrong. We have to teach children to stay with their feelings, their truth, their magic, their love and their brotherhood.. nothing is better than truly teaching this to a child.. then we have a beautiful outstanding future I bet.

158. Gayle, what you expose here is the beginning of children questioning what they feel over what they have been taught to believe.

159. I have been wondering about this too. Another threat to get children to be good and build fear. What if I wasn’t good enough? And so it begins…

160. Great article great expose.

161. Lots of great points here Gayle and it has me wondering why do we perpetuate this myth? Is there something in this fantasy for the adults more so than the children? Lots to ponder on.

162. Great to bring this lie up Gayle thank you for your insightful blog, the story that we know that does not make sense as reality in our world but are asked not to speak up about, sounds all to familiar and usually comes under the notion of religion.

     1. I agree Paul. And then there are the thousands of little stories we tell ourselves, the lies that we let run us on a daily basis so that we can stick to the comfort of what we have molded our lives to be, rather than living what is true and what may be uncomfortable for others to see. Our bodies and our society are littered with these.

        1. Liane what a great comment. Yesterday I caught myself reassuring myself with a lie. I found myself saying ‘oh it doesn’t matter’, that something I needed to address didn’t really need my attention when it did. The voice of experience chirped in: I knew I would have to stop and be truthful at some point and this would hurt far more further down the line. I had a clear choice to get truthful and be loving or to choose the comfort of numbing out to the lie that it didn’t matter.

        2. Agree Liane why stop at only the x-mas stories, if we look into economics, fashion and the workforce all these industries have little stories to keep everyone in the game and unaware.

163. I could remember the confusion when I was told that the Father Christmas story was a fairy tale and was determined not to do the same to our children. This was not easy. I did not want to tell them something that wasn’t true but at the same time I didn’t want to spoil the magic of Christmas. Then I realized that the magic of Christmas is not about Father Christmas and all the trappings of the commercial world and the church but a time for all the family to spend time together and, yes, to enjoy the pleasure of giving and receiving gifts from each other. The children heard the Christmas stories from others and had the choice of what to believe. They still had the fun and excitement of a bulging stocking at the end of the bed but were not fooled by where it had come from, it was still magic for that one special day.

164. Great blog. It made me remember just how indignant I was when the myth was dispelled and the truth was conceded. I felt entirely let down and betrayed for having been lied to when I’d been asking the obvious questions and getting the patronising, well-honed answers we still hear everywhere to this day. It was my first brush with long-term deception. Isn’t it fascinating to ponder on the mass impact of that deception on young children graduating from the myth year after year after year?. What are the long-term psychological impacts on us as individuals and as a society, when those we love and trust show themselves to have lied to us at such an early age on something we truly know is fanciful and ridiculous? The only good thing to come of it for me was the awareness and glee that I had known I was right all along – a great confirmation that I could know truth from fiction, fact from lie.

165. Now there are only a few days left until that other great ‘party’ in our culture: New Year’s Eve. A time when everyone states that a new year is beginning, and for some bizarre reason, celebrates it with doing all the harming things that one would NOT want on a list of ‘new year’s resolutions’! But to me, ironic as that is, there is another irony: every point on an infinite circle could be considered the beginning of the circle, or the middle or the end or whatever. EVERY day is the beginning of a new circle around the sun; in fact every MOMENT is a beginning of the next lap of the circle. So instead of celebrating one day of the year and thinking of being more responsible for just a few days or a few weeks until our resolutions fizzle back to same old ‘business as usual’, why not live to our highest aspirations every day and every moment, knowing that what we live will continue on endlessly around and around either evolving us or not….?

166. I have read the comments on this blog several times during this past year. I truly appreciate how they have expanded the expose! It was also, somehow, extra rewarding to read comments made on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as they carried some additional clout in chipping away at a very ingrained pattern in society. Perhaps Christmas with a capitol C is ingrained in the human consciousness where it is even harder to break through?
     In either case, big changes start with small steps, steps which are being taken by many of us. I was heartened by the blog I read this morning about a new meaning for Christmas.

167. Thank you for my Christmas day present – reading this blog by Gayle and the comments.

     For so many years I engaged with Christmas and the false ‘jollity’ of all that is connected to ‘Christmas’. Like Gayle, I have slowly disengaged from the ‘stuff’ that made me so uncomfortable, including the over indulgence in food and drink etc. and what felt like the false piety put forward by the church. For most of my life I have felt a connection to God, but could not connect to that feeling when I went to church, and this caused me great internal conflict. It made me question my motives for going to church while at the same time I felt that if I missed church I was letting down God.

     It is so freeing now that I have found a way to live a life that is more truthful to who I am and to my relationship with God. I allow myself to make decisions that are based on what feels right with me and not on what I feel is expected of me. This also feels more respectful of God and the relationship that I am building.

     .

168. The lies were continued with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. When you also find that the whole Christmas thing was a stolen holiday from the Druids, the whole thing is a kind of a PR event for the church and now a commercialization for consumerism and an excuse for excess. It’s easy to see how we are taught to lose our way, but never too late to find our way back.

     1. I agree that it is never too late to claim back the true meaning and benefits of Christmas – that it can be a time to stop, be still and reflect on the year that has been and prepare for the year to come. It does not have to be what it has become.

     2. I was watching a documentary that pointed out that the Christmas myth can be found in many other religious stories… and I’m not talking about an echo but a multitude of similarities.

169. Whether we celebrate Xmas or not, the fact is we all feel the rush, pressures, tension, expectation and increased motion the world chooses to be in during this time. Yet our bodies seem to be telling us, especially during the days before xmas that a deeper repose is being truly called for. Do we then ignore the body and simply give in to what is considered normal, but is far from truly natural, and suffer the consequences of our own choices afterwards? Is it not true that before and after the holiday season, there seems to be a rise in illness and diseases around — could that just be because of the weather?

     What if, instead of focusing on how little time we have to meet deadlines or how much we still have to do — we simply focus with presence on what has to be done and get on with it — while supporting the body to do so every moment? What if, the quality of how we do things actually makes a difference on how much can be done? What if, quality rather than quantity actually makes a whole world of a difference towards ourself and the world? Will being truthful to our bodies first and foremost, make a difference towards how truthful we are with Xmas?

     1. I definitely feel that pull to quieten things down and over the years have made Christmas a very simple affair – quiet time to reflect a little deeper and rest after a busy year. Its re-creational and provides a springboard for new ventures in the coming year.

     2. I really connected to your comment Adele, and can very much relate to the pressure and tension that is apparent with the upcoming Christmas season, regardless of how or if we celebrate it. It’s like we as a society get caught up in an energy that just feeds itself with more pressure and tension – and for many of us, this cycle is perhaps either difficult to recognise or difficult to find a way out of, and so we end up either ‘putting up’ with it, trying to avoid it or resenting it until the season passes. However, in the same way that this tension creates its own cycle and momentum, so too is it possible for a different ‘quality’ to create its own cycle – one of presence, stillness and truth – and in this, we would certainly be offered the opportunity to approach and celebrate Christmas in a different way.

     3. And here I am this year, Adele, middle of November 2015 surrounded again by the rush and tenseness of the build-up to Christmas … I thank you for your comment above which assists me in my approach to the deadlines and also the stress that other people are creating and carrying in themselves in trying to fulfill outer expectations. Although it also does seem that more people are questioning this pressure and choosing to drop the expectations and simply ‘do’ Christmas day and the Christmas season in the way that works for them.

170. Such a great expose of the lie we tell our children and as these comments here show, there is indeed, an immeasurable fallout that effects all. Thank you Gayle for bringing this to light

171. Yes Ariana, its all rolling around again, the pressures to spend, the resented ‘obligations’, expectations (that don’t always match others and often end up as big ‘let downs’, dissapointment), the spike in family violence, mental health issues and more…,,,an attempt at a ‘happy pill’ to relieve the lack of quality in the rest of the year it may be, but true/sustained joy or magic it is most definitely not.
     My daughter (5 yo) and I stopped in the local shopping centre at her request to watch the whole santa photo thing – but not as you might imagine from a 5 yo. She knows the santa thing is all a game (lie) and has amazing insight as to why people invest in it so much – so her wanting to watch was out of pure interest to check it out and feel how it really felt. We chatted about it all after as we loaded the groceries into the car and her summary included the ‘false smiles’, the ‘parents being grumpy and feeling bad and wanting to not feel bad’, the staff ‘rushing’ and that the man in the santa suit was ‘creepy’ – and she would ‘no way sit on his knee’. Insightful and revealing, certainly no joy in sight!

172. You have a very valid point Ariana, “Could it be that Christmas is just another distraction to take us away from feeling the truth about how we live?” After the silly season has ended we come back to reality with a bump… If we really looked at the stats we would have to deeply question what it is that we are doing.

173. My kids (13 yo and 5 yo) were chatting after school recently about the whole christmas hype that’s building pace and getting out of hand around this time of year, in schools and daycare centres. My daughter shared that a friend at preschool had been hassling her about not getting into the christmas myth like all the other kids, teachers, etc. and that she had actually said to the girl that “christmas is not really real”. I asked her a bit about how she felt it was not real and it was because “every day should be lovely” – and because “everyone is pretending and it’s like all are playing a game together – but I don’t want to play or pretend because love is lovlier than all of the pretending”.

     Wow hey, tinsel, baubles and false magic have nothing on someone who knows God’s love as an everyday reality. Newsflash – ‘when given a true choice – 5 yo opts out of christmas’ – now that is food for thought – can we really kid ourself that it is ‘for the kids’?

     My 13 yo then chipped in that he reckons that “parents like the santa myth because they want it to be someone else mystical who ‘judges’” or evaluates how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ they have been and “not be responsible themselves” for on the spot real discipline if needed. Like a deferment of responsibility, one step removed from being the deliverer of consequence, even though that is part of the job description we sign up for when raising kids. He shared how he has been told the (pretty wild) tale that an adult family member was “mates with santa” and he had “better behave himself”, also that he could “put in a good word with Santa if he was extra good” – rather than just calling whatever behaviour was there to be called – or celebrating this beautiful young man for who he is, and not what he does.
     So many conversations to be had about this christmas malarkey.

     1. I love that Kate, your wise words from your daughter, “but I don’t want to play or pretend because love is lovlier than all of the pretending”. It’s true the feeling of Christmas in all its manufactured form is not a patch on real love. We put ourselves under so much pressure to keep the lie going. You ask a great question, “can we really kid ourself that it is ‘for the kids’?” My question is, do adults keep it going because we are seeking relief and an escape from how we live during the rest of the year? The indulgence is for us – in the guise that we are doing it for the kids?

        1. Yes Rachel, it is entirely possible that due to the layer upon layer effect of the Christmas myth, we may be so far down the rabbit hole we can’t tell WHY we are “doing” Christmas. I am aware that, this year, I’ve heard several people say (with a sigh of relief), “We are scaling right back on christmas this year.” I have understood this to mean that they are cutting back on the number of presents and the cost of the presents, which has been bourn out of financial necessity. But it represents a change to this most chaotic event of the year and that it is a good thing. It actually sent me into a daydream into some Christmas future, in which the holiday was entirely different and did not include the lying to our children, the bribery, then misfortunate spending on unnecessary gifts and the over indulgence of food and drink……. but it did include the awareness that Christmas used to be like this and that humanity had woken up to the dis-ease of celebrating that way. Oh yeh, and in the future Christmas became a celebration of the birth of the Christ child.

174. I can honestly say I have never thought about christmas this way before. Why do we fill a child’s world with fantasies only to see them be crushed when they realise it is all fake? If we didn’t paint a fantastical picture of Santa, tooth fairies, easter bunnies and so on but instead told them how life really is would they not then grow up not feeling so disappointed in the world? Breaking a child’s trust in adults doesn’t make sense if we say we care about them.

175. Wow Gayle, you have started a discussion on a much needed subject here, with some great thought provoking comments.

176. Thank you Gayle. This is beautifully put and so, so true. It is such a shame, the lies children are told.
     It is deceitful and very manipulative – especially when a child is made to believe that they are to be “good” or “well behaved” otherwise “Santa” won’t treat them. It is very sad that parents continue this lie and also ridiculous how much stress we go through to make one day perfect. Often it is quite the opposite.

     This article needs to be shared and shared.

177. If we were told to never lie as children, how can it be acceptable for parents to tell their kids, sometimes for years, that there is a man that sneaks into their house once a year to give them presents and eat all the food that has to be left out for him? Sounds more like a nightmare than a fairytale!…. Maybe the movie title, ‘A Nightmare Before Christmas’ should have been called ‘The Nightmare That Is Christmas!’

     1. Well said Susie, when you put it like this the lies told of Santa and Christmas just lay the foundations for the beliefs that some lies are acceptable when it suits us.

        1. Absolutely Suse. This kind of ‘little white lie’ (which is actually a pretty huge lie!) is an example of how many people claim that they are ‘honest’, but will lie when it suits them, or when it looks good.

178. A lie also rewarded with a present under a tree… What are we educating our children with? how can society not be affected as a whole? I remember finding out about the truth when I first discovered that putting my teeth under the pillow and waking up with cash delivered by a little mouse was a lie too. I also remember the tension with other friends of the family who did not want me to reveal the truth to their own children who were maybe a year younger than me….

179. This is great Gayle – it absolutely shows how we start to let in self doubt and doubt with those who we look up too.
     I remember every question I had about Santa had an answer back. And then this idea of santa was so widely pushed by Hollywood films, brands, and even shopping centres that I gave in to the lie.
     I accepted defeat – only to then be later told the truth. Its certainly a breakdown of a relationship with ourselves and our parents.
     Wow – what an opportunity to bring the truth to my children. To give them a choice between the hype of a lie vs what is a consistent truth and knowing.

180. We never celebrated xmas as a child, and growing up neither did I celebrate it particularly with my son, that said, I did not specifically express that Santa Claus is not real either. Through other means, the non-truth of xmas has then infiltrated deep with my son due to my holding back. Therefore, knowing yet not speaking out about what is not true, is no different from lying, and a few years ago, I came clean to my son about this lie. Of course, he felt hurt–but because the love for myself and for him has grown deeper, it was no longer an option to continue to lying. Lying to one child, is no different from lying to myself and to everyone in the world. The choice for being honest has given us the opportunity to be in a true relationship, with ourselves, each other and everyone else we encounter.
     Dressing up a lie with good cheer does not make it less than a lie, and being honest about that with ourselves, and stopping what we also know is true as parents is our responsibility and a choice we can make, no matter how we have chosen in the past.
     Thank you Gayle.

181. Yes, Jane. Your comment expands the Christmas myth and the resulting mess from the personal injury right out into society where everyone is tiptoeing around on eggshells. Everyone knows everyone is lying and yet we all just keep pretending that this is the way to live. Surely, it is time to stop. We need to rebuild a society based on truth if we are going to ever find true joy and harmony.

182. This is a great point you raise Gayle, the consequences of lying to children and the Christmas myth being a significant one. I can remember as a child questioning how Santa, one person, could take presents to everyone – and being told it was true. How it left me feeling that I must be ‘missing’ something as the adults must know something I didn’t and someday I would understand. Not until I write this have I realised that I have always lived with the feeling that others know more than me, there must be something more, rather than trusting my own knowingness. Wow. Thank you Gayle.

     1. Wow indeed. In this instance your reading and participating in a blog, has been you giving yourself a healing session. Now that you see how you’ve been operating, you can choose differently – your comment expanded my understanding of what we are doing with blogs. Thank YOU Jonathan.

183. Pingback: Christmas Lies, Christmas Myths and the Truth about Christmas |

184. I remember as a child asking my parents how Santa got into out 3rd storey apartment when we had no chimney for him to get down, and being told that he would just come in through the window. It was one of those things that I remember feeling a bit incredulous about, but accepted in order to keep the entire fantasy alive, and because why would my parents lie? I suppose that what many parents are trying to do is participate in their children’s fantasy lives for just a little while, but in that case it is not about the kids, it is about the adults. As children we have such a natural state of wonder which we tend to lose over time. It is hard not to think that things like realising that Santa is a fabrication of adults, does not help to contribute to that loss of wonder.

185. David, I really feel you have hit the nail on the head here when you say we go crazy in an attempt to cover up the lie that is Christmas. I am also enjoying Christmas as a time of reflection and repose, as you say, and letting go of all the hoo-haa has been the best thing! My last Christmas was the most beautiful day spent with family – the first harmonious Christmas (though spent on the 21st) we’ve ever had just by allowing ourselves to be honest.

186. Hi Gayle, with Christmas coming up this is a great blog to ponder on. In Holland we have Sinterklaas with the same lies and doubtful stories we tell our children in how he comes on a steamboat from Spain, rides on a white horse on the roofs of our houses in the night and throws gifts through the chimney etc. The songs around this time of the year are dreadful to hear and create ideals and beliefs. And you hear them everywhere: with no escape possible. Why would we do this? – are we not enough as ourselves? When did making up things become so normal that we couldn’t stop?
     For me life is about connecting with people, children, friends and family every day and I love spending time with them also on Christmas.

187. I played the game of the Christmas myth many years ago when my children were small; looking back, I can see such illusion I was caught into. That was my momentum at that time, it seems crazy now. How I love Michelle’s comment earlier about to commit to building true magic of honest and loving relationships, that would be great for families to focus and work on.

188. Gale, with the Christmas season in ramp up mode, it seems inevitable such hype is bound to lead to disappointment. I felt devastated when “Father Christmas” was exposed as being untrue. Friends told me and whilst I knew it and it made sense, I didn’t want to believe it. For years the stories and discussions with my parents that felt exciting and real where shown to be false. Perhaps people go crazy, stocking up on everything in an attempt to cover up the fact that Christmas never was what they felt it could be. However, I am really starting to enjoy the time it does provide for repose and reflection.

189. A great blog Gayle – I can remember feeling so let down by people I trusted when the truth became known. I feel the lies perpetuated by parents around Christmas begins a huge momentum of seeing what we want to see rather than how it actually is.

190. There are so many lies around Christmas, apart from the made up Santa Clause Story, which as you point out, potentially has a huge effect on children.
     How does all the other behaviours around Christmas effect children? The preparing 2 months in advance for the one ‘special’ day, the pressure of finances, the indulging of anything and everything: food, alcohol, gifts and of course the threat of not getting gifts if you’re not good enough! On a day that we also say is meant to be all about children, how does it effect them when it is also a day about reward, comfort and stress?
     Have you noticed how many children (and adults) get sick around this time?

191. Reading this made so much sense and really highlighted the silliness of the Christmas lies. This would be a great read for every new parent. We don’t need to believe in magic if we know the true magic of honest and loving relationships.

192. Christmas is a time for reflection, thinking about those people in the world who cannot afford a christmas, others who spend so much on christmas presents and food and then cannot afford to pay their credit cards in the new year. Christmas is now so commercialised, with it starting in August. We can think of those who work over christmas and cannot be with their family and friends. Wherever you may be for christmas, be it with family and friends, remember those who are missing out on what is truly important for one reason or another.

193. Fab blog Gayle, how right you are: our parents lied to us – and their parents lied to them! When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous to me.
     Is it no wonder that there are many compulsive liars around as adults when we are taught this way of being as kids?

     I remember being absolutely convinced on two separate occasions that I’d seen Father Christmas: 1) when I was 3, I woke up in the middle of the night with a nose bleed, as I went to the bathroom and stood at the top of the stairs looking down I saw a red haze. 2) When I was age 6-7, I had been out with my parents at a friends house and they’d been drinking all night… we were walking home around midnight and the weather was crystal clear, I swore I saw a sparkly affair in the sky…
     I saw the Easter bunny once as well – but all this did was train my mind to play tricks on me, which it continued to do with huge momentum after that. It feels pretty poisonous when you look at it like this…

194. Christmas can be a time of distress for many people. This is a time of year when incidences increase e.g more mental health admissions to hospital and increased domestic violence incidences. Usually after the Christmas period the number of relationships breaking down or people filing for divorce increases. Christmas as it currently is is not the truly happy season that it appears to be on the surface. It can be a time where people feel very lonely and sad, and where alcohol and food are used to numb and distract from and bury those feelings.

195. Thank you Gayle, for exposing the whole sickening Christmas saga. What have we created here ? A monster of consumerism, false joy, overeating and overdrinking, forced harmony and after that a big anticlimax. No wonder that a lot of people are depressed that time of the year. At home it is a very simple affair. We invite my elderly parents and a few others for lunch and just being together is enough.

     1. Hi Maryline…..The concept of “forced harmony” brought a laugh. That phrase is a great snapshot of the absurdity of Christmas as it has become.

196. Great blog Gayle, christmas is and has been for a long time all about indulgence, followed closely by commercialism. I was caught up in the whole christmas package until about 10 years ago when I just decided that I don’t want any added stress and that I am not going to do any of the christmas stuff like cards, decorations or presents anymore. I am just going to be with family and friends that I want to be with and make it a day like any other day. Top decision!!

197. Dear Gayle, I really enjoyed your blog. The most interesting part for me is when you
     say “If we were honest, we knew that santa claus didn’t exist”. Children are very bright.
     One glance at the average chimney will tell the average child all that they need to know.
     The important thing is to feel.

     1. The chimney, the flying reindeer, the elves in the workshop are all quite unbelievable – even for a child. But because it is presented by the adults that we love and trust, we start the process of overriding what we know to be the truth and allow ourselves to be fooled. So many years, opportunities, and relationships go by the wayside in between allowing the overriding and returning to living what we know is true.

        1. So true Ariana and Gayle.

198. Thank you Gayle for dissecting Christmas. ‘Christmas consumerism, the over expenditure, the forced family gatherings, the excessive consumption of food and alcohol, the inherent squabbles, often followed by the disappointment and depression.’ I thought that was the point of the holiday when I got older. Christmas has lost its way from the original religious celebration to one of sheer commercialisation. I just felt how insidious this holiday is for children today and for parents. Every generation seems to be more aware then the last one, but, the peer pressure and advertisers messages that you must have Xyz…is nuts. The pressure is passed on to the parents to buy Xyz. Christmas must go back to a day to simply celebrate true love and brotherhood without the world and its months of pressure to consume everything.

     1. So true both of you. This advertising is pretty effective too – these pressures can become so ingrained that its tough for people who are well and truly ‘in it’ to be able to begin to fathom when perhaps thats not what we might feel is the most supportive way to raise our children (or ourselves). It can be a challenge to grasp when we might choose to request no presents and christmas hype from family and similar – and saying it (and meaning it!) that their presence is all the gift the children need.

        The consumerism has become so normalised and ingrained that whilst its quite unheard of, I’ve had family manage to make the leap and ‘get it’ when we don’t participate in the ‘giving’ side of the christmas ritual – but then out of their reach to comprehend if we might choose not to participate in the ‘receiving’ part of the ritual – the pressure to ‘fit in’ is huge.

        What if there is no gift or gesture that can give anyone more than who they already are – what if it is the quality of connection that counts – what if giving gifts is associated, by its very nature, with less than this deeper quality – would we chose less than the fullest quality for ourselves or our kids? Maybe not, and yet have we gone along with it without questioning – well understandably, on the most part, yes we have.

        Perhaps there is another gift also in choosing another way, where presence literally is the gift – and its about being together and enjoying celebrating the connections that are shared – and not ritualised gestures born from consumerised pressure and guilt – and making up for a lack. Perhaps its all got a bit upside down and we’ve lost the potential of such occasions. Perhaps choosing to make it about really being with the people we care about first and foremost – it might also allows people to begin to question the taken for granted – the assumed and the commonplace – as does this blog and I am so appreciative of it.

199. Hi Gayle, what a great exposé about the lies at Christmas.
     It’s amazing as Ryan has said how all these lies can be accepted because they’re “gift wrapped”. With all the distractions and bright lights of Christmas it’s easy to forget you can have a beautiful present neatly wrapped and yet it can contain coal. It just makes me wonder what other lies that I have willingly accepted because it was sugar coated or deceptively wrapped up in something pretty…

     1. Brilliant Ariana – even though being pushed under a train seems extreme, I know what you mean – there is a whole world out there that doesn’t want to hear the truth and will do anything it seems, to stop it being spoken.

     2. I know we are in the middle of a very serious discussion here …but I just have to acknowledge how it made me laugh to read your line, Ariana “It feels like you are so digging deeper here Cheryl” in reference to her comment about a neatly wrapped present containing coal. hahaha Very clever AND yet profound. Thank you for your passionate interest in and continuous contribution to this blog Ariana.

        1. Very sweet Gayle. ‘Digging deeper’ indeed!

200. Rachel, This gave me chills…if Father Christmas is not real than is God real? What can children count on if not their own deep feelings of what is true and not?

     I feel that if we had role models who did trust their inner knowing, it would bring a different world with a whole lot more trust and love!

201. Kate and Ariana, you have engaged in this conversation about debunking the Christmas lies and myths so fully, I feel like we should change the author line to include all three of our names! This has become a conversation we can have every day of the year – not just around Christmas. Kate I love your comment that “there is no need to make up false magic.” I’ve taken that into my heart. For years I felt like a “scrooge” because I didn’t understand nor want to participate in the Christmas sham. Through your wisdom I’m more grounded and inspired. Thank you to you both for deepening this conversation for all who read and contribute to this blog.

202. I love this article. It reminds me of how much pressure I felt under to continue this lie with my children in order to be seen as a ‘good parent’. But actually, I felt much more empowered as a parent when I chose not to impose this fairy tale on to them. And they seemed to really appreciate this as well, it was like I was showing respect for their intelligence and natural ability for knowing the truth.

     1. That’s beautiful, Shami. I know I would have felt the same as a child if my parents had done the same thing.

     2. You raise an excellent point, Shami. By choosing to live the truth, everyone becomes more than they can under the weight of a lie.

203. After speaking with friends and briefly skimming over a few online articles I realised that it is not un-common for people to be questioning the very subjects many of us have been questioning here, in response to Gayle’s great article.
     It made me realise that there are a few common themes that tend to come up in highlighting how this (the santa myth) does not feel like the most supportive inclusion in our children’s upbringing.
     The first and most glaring is the fact of lying to our children, for which common sense would say this is not a great foundation for our kids in so many ways.
     The other common theme which got me pondering more, was how often people feel the santa lies are not something they want to bring to their own children, but that countering this, there is a perceived (or sometimes actual) backlash of other parents when the children who are not part of the lie, ‘burst the bubble’ of their peers. Its interesting how at this time, the parents who have perpetuated these lies with their kids, react and blame outwardly for their ‘children’s feelings being hurt’, when if they had never lied to them, there would not be the shock of discovering they had been lied to.
     Could this be one of the reasons we haplessly ‘go along’ with the whole charade, overriding our common sense? Could ‘fitting in’ be a big part of the perpetuation of this myth?

     1. Yes, I think the need to “fit in” is the dilemma parents will have to face now and in the near future. As a society that has taken the wrong turn, we have to start to look at the foundations we are giving our children. Parents will have to make the decision of whether to start those tender susceptible years with the christmas lies. We have entered a new era. We’ve stepped into a new paradigm and the santa story and related consumerism no longer serve anyone. I think discussions such as this blog and the conversations Kate referred to above are helping to shift the consciousness around this destructive tradition. Thanks for being part of the movement Ariana!

     2. Thank you Kate for taking this discussion outside of the blog site and into face to face conversation with friends. Of all the blogs I’ve written, I think this one is the most personally rewarding. All those years that I didn’t say anything, I thought I was the only one who found this christmas/santa thing to be bizarre. Perhaps the fact that my daughter wouldn’t believe me when I did finally tell her there wasn’t a santa, was the beginning of my awakening in this matter. She was convinced she had seen santa..not just in our house but in the sky, in his sleigh, with reindeer. So she just didn’t believe the truth. Ouch.

        1. Ouch – I can understand how that was a bit of a wake up shake up moment when you started to really wonder about it all.
           The christmas conversations at the school gate have really started up again and I’ve noticed there is a different slant on what people are commenting about in the (long) lead up to christmas and after the event. I’ve not heard one word of true joy in relation to the preparation or the aftermath, but lots of obligation, resentment, stress, heightened arguements, expense and ulitimately for the honest ones, a real let down. Your blog is so great – shining a light an offering a Santa opt out ‘clause’ (pardon the pun).

     3. Great comments Ariana and Gayle – perhaps whats needed is for us to have the kind of reality check that this kind of discussion brings to the actual consequenses of the christmas lies – and for each parent to weigh this against the deisre to fit in, and see which one outweighs. For me it’s clear that I have the honesty and associated trust with my kids and the support to question and to utilise in full their innate ability to discern for themselves – (everything they come accross in life) – holds far more value than fitting in, for me as a parent or for them as a child. My childrens simple awareness of the facts is the greatest christmas gift I could have offered them – even if it doesn’t come down a chimney, but straight from the heart! There is more than enough real wonder around us (in nature and in ourselves) when we stay with ourselves, (and dont get caught up in going along with falsehoods) – there becomes no need to make up false magic.

     4. ‘Like a paper moon hanging over a cardboard sky’ – so true Ariana, and its rolling around again in such a strong and normalised way. Just this year my daughter’s day care centre and preschool have cottoned on that she often opts out of all the christmas craft activities in favour of something more fun and meaningful, and less loaded.

204. This article was a real healing for me Gayle, both for the sadness and stress I experienced around the falseness of Christmas I felt as a child, and as an inspiration to finally deal with this issue fully with our daughter. Even though we have let go of all the traditional Christmas craziness and indulgences revolving around gifts, food and trying to please everyone, etc., the way you expressed how the story of Santa Claus is a flat out lie hit home with me, and this has never fully been dealt with in our family. How can we expect our children to be open and honest with us if we begin our relationships with them based on the perpetuation of untrue stories that feed their emotional desires, but deep down they know this to be false? Thank you for showing how ridiculous this societal pattern truly is. It has been a huge relief to not get caught up in the anxiousness and stress of the usual Christmas season, but simply take time to appreciate our relationships more and allow ourselves to be a little more still. What if instead of using the Christmas holiday to run around buying gifts at the expense of our own financial health and eating and drinking in excess to numb ourselves and not deal with our issues, we went to a more inward approach that took the time to just sit and be with ourselves and our family, without having to “do” anything?

     1. YES, Michael! What if Christmas becomes a time when “we make a more inward approach that takes the time to just sit and be with ourselves and our family, without having to “do” anything?”

205. I remember receiving a Christmas card as a child from a school friend who simply wrote on it – “I hope you get what you want”. It really confirmed what I was already feeling but could not express at the time – that Christmas was the empty and meaningless creation of a consumer society, and a big fat lie. Thank you Gayle for bringing this up, as it is an important point to raise.

     1. Your christmas card story, Janet, is poignant. It really captures the consumerism of the holiday and without much elaboration makes it clear that something has gone wrong.

206. Gayle, you’ve given me a lot to ponder with your blog – thank you. You know I always knew deep down that Santa wasn’t true, as you say most kids do, but what you add here, takes it deeper what does it do to children to have their parents lie and to over-ride their feeling when they know it’s not true. I know I felt conflicted when they told me as I also couldn’t tell my younger brothers. And as you ask how does that set children up to trust themselves and trust life – great question. We say it’s a fib or as I heard it a white lie, but it’s not truth and we know it and when we allow that where does it stop? How are we honouring ourselves and children by maintaining this lie, and why do we feel we need to do it? The other thing that’s also really strong with Santa Claus is the idea of reward for ‘good’ behaviour, like a bribe – how crazy is that as a basis for any relationship, to lie and to ‘bribe’?

     1. Spot on Monica – ‘how crazy is that as a basis for any relationship, to lie and to ‘bribe’?’ Where is the care and respect in that? What are we really teaching our kids when they read between the lines?

     2. Yes Ariana, I know of plenty of people in the north of England where this threat was followed through!! – can you imagine. The way you say ‘I lived in fear of my ‘badness’ being exposed to the whole world, then I would be held up for all to see as an example. What a powerful threat for children, it is truly awful.’ So not just rewarding children for being ‘good’ and overriding their feelings, but also really strong horrid threats for being ‘bad’. It’s all telling kids that everything is measured by the extent to which you will comply – nothing of honouring the amazing heavenly beauty inside every child, every day, nothing of respecting the wisdom of their feelings. Imagine a card that said to a two, three or four year old ‘your worth is measured by your external behaviour and the extent you are willing to override what you feel’. We may kid ourselves christmas is about ‘loving’ the children…but as you so rightufully state, there is no love in threats and bribes.

     3. Well, as your comments show Monica, opening Santa’s bag is kind of like Pandora’s box. Once we start looking into the Christmas lies and myths, it gets worse than we imagined at first glance. I’m heartened by the families who are choosing not to go down this well worn path of Santa’s flying reindeer, choosing instead to make it a time of connection between loved ones, which does not necessarily involve the exchange of expensive (needless) gifts. I have for years tried to ignore the christmas season but I think this year I may feel like participating a bit more; in a non-traditional way 😉 in hopes of changing the old and bringing in the new.

     4. Oh dear. I had never heard this one Ariana. That must be a European twist on the bribe aspect of Christmas. Although I did have a “joke” present a time or two as a child and I didn’t think they were funny at all!

207. Hello Gill. I agree that Christmas is a marketing gimmick. Unfortunately, the effect of Christmas is even worse. It creates pressure on families to spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need, which won’t satisfy whatever it is they are hoping to satisfy anyway.

     1. So true Gayle.
        Doesn’t that just show up the crazyness of it.

208. Wow Gayle this is an awesome exposure on the lie we buy into, I know I did. It certainly raises the question of why we get so caught up in the stress around Christmas and the affects it has on families including when an overspend occurs not to mention the affects of alcohol on family life. As has been mentioned we champion honesty with our children but set them up from an early age playing as Gill says a ‘silly game’ with them that encourages them to tell fibs and eventually leads to disappointment. How very dis-empowering when there is so much beauty in sharing time with family lovingly so rather than feeling the pressure of what gift to buy which usually ends up unwanted anyway. I endeavour to break the Christmas ‘habit’ and continue to do so each year with a willingness to addressing all that it brings up, not just in me but those around me too.

     1. Hi Beverley, It’s lovely to know there are others who in a “quiet movement” sort of way will be working with me to change the meaning and activities of “Christmas”. I’ll be thinking of you as ‘the season’ rolls around again.

209. ​Thank you for writing the truth about Christmas Gayle. In my own life there was so much pressure around Christmas, it was always a huge disappointment for me as a child because there were always family arguments and I always felt disappointed that I didn’t have this perfect family Christmas that all the stories and films portrayed. It has taken me about 5 years to let go of my attachment to Christmas, I now choose not to celebrate it all and can see all the consumerism, pressure and lies around Christmas for what they are. I have always told the truth to my 3 year old son and that there is no Santa Claus and he is fine about this, and has never expressed any feeling of missing out.

210. Thank you Gayle. I remember reading this blog early in the new year and feeling it’s about time someone wrote about the ‘crimbo nonsense’ which is what I call it. I was so into the Christmas season as an adult and I know it was a void of not having what I wanted as a child and nothing and no amount of Christmas lies filled that empty feeling I had at that time of the year. I became obssessed with Christmas being a happy time and making sure I ignored all my feelings of misery with all the trimmings that xmas brings.

     Your blog has debased so much for me and this is the gift I will be sending around the beginning of December to all those who know me and are ready to read this amazing piece of real raw Truth. Diary note made right now! Love Bina from London UK.

     1. Hello Bina. Yes, “Christmas” is a first world problem, right around the planet. Even in July! It’s heartening to see that this blog can be read at any time of year and make sense. I’m going to make a diary note too – to put it up on Facebook as the ‘silly season’ rolls around again.

     2. Hello Ariana, I love your sentence:

        “And this is one illusion that comes heavily laced with beliefs and high ideals of how it all should play out, which comes with a high price that we pay for glitter and sparkle! ”

        Now that is gold.

211. I think, as children, discovering the truth about Santa is a big moment that starts to unravel our world as we’ve known it to that point. Then the Easter Bunny comes under question, and eventually the Tooth Fairy, all of whom turn out to be not real. As your experience shows, Rachel, the question of whether God is real or not is a natural next question. How do we, as adults, put a convincing argument that yes, all the other stuff was made up but God is real? It’s a big shock to recover from.

     1. I had forgotten about the tooth fairy and the easter bunny! I remember that once I found out about the Christmas lie, the tooth fairy lie wasn’t such a surprise… almost discovering that an adult’s lie is something that they do… and yet how many times was I told as a child that lying is bad! You are right – discovering the enormous lie that everyone supports about Christmas was a big shock to recover from. When I asked my sister, Is God still real? There was a moment of doubt and it did shake the possibility of God for a while, but fortunately the knowing about God was too strong for the doubt to last very long.

        I agree with Toni’s words:

        “Is it possible that adults seek a false joy from children so they do not have to feel they do not have what it is they seek and they disguise this by saying they are doing it for the children, when in fact they are doing it for themselves?”

212. Why have all these lies developed around Christmas? What have we all got out of them by investing in them? Thank you Gayle for getting me to stop and reflect on what I have contributed to.

     1. Thank you Sally for pointing out how writing a blog AND reading a blog serves humanity – by causing us to stop and reflect on how we have each individually contributed, whether it be in a positive or a negative way.

     2. Yes Sally I too have had to stop and consider why we lie to our children about Christmas. This article and the comments provide much to discuss. I know I have recently disengaged form all the hype that surround Christmas and no longer buy gifts or spend huge amounts of money on food. It has been very liberating and even though the family didn’t like it at first, it has lead the way for them to choose if they want to engage with it or not as well. its now a time of year for getting together, without the pressure or expense.

213. Like you, Ariana, it seems that everyone remembers the day that they found out that Santa wasn’t real. It is profound to think of this as a rite of passage – something we all go through – and something that leaves a marker in our body! I think, through conversations such as these, we can start to forge a new way forward for the generations that will follow.

     I really enjoyed your playful last paragraph. In spite of the seriousness of the subject matter, your wise words wrapped up in a familiar Christmas rhythm brought a smile to my heart.

214. I so relate to this Gayle. I remember as a young child being told at school that Santa was not true, it devastated me. The cause of the devastation was not that Santa was not real but that my parents, all the adults I knew, people in shops, TV shows and basically everywhere I looked I felt I had been lied to. I felt deeply hurt, I could not understand why everyone lied.

     Why is it so important for adults to want children to believe in Santa — is it possible that adults seek a false joy from children so they do not have to feel they do not have what it is they seek and they disguise this by saying they are doing it for the children, when in fact they are doing it for themselves?

     Really young children have no interest in Christmas, it takes until they are 3 years old to grasp what we say Christmas is about. Children are just as happy whether it is Christmas day or not, although if Christmas is celebrated in the traditional way with all the build up, excitement, lollies and sugar, they are actually quite upset for a large portion of Christmas day.

     I now feel Christmas day is a day to spend time with family and friends just hangin’ out enjoying each others’ company. I feel it is a day that we can take the time to appreciate the relationships we have built together. Really it is no different to any other day except for the fact that people all over the world are dedicating the same time to enjoy each others’ company — we are all celebrating the joy of coming together and love, so for this reason it feels to be pretty magical to me.

     Thanks Gayle, I really enjoyed reading this.

     1. Thank you, Toni, for contributing to this discussion. As you can see from Rachel’s responding comment above, your observation about the possibility of WHY adults want children to believe in Santa is very astute and starts to pry open the lid on the perpetuation of the Christmas myth. As you say, many parents are playing Santa and starting to build the illusion long before the child can even understand the concept of Christmas or Santa so, of course, it must be for them and not the child that it is done. This is a great insight that I did not previously have so I’m really grateful for your contribution. Thank you Toni.

215. Thank you so much for writing this Gayle. It has been so natural with my own children to be honest about all the myths and lies surrounding Christmas as they navigate their worlds where these myths are peddled. My 4 year old this year had a party at preschool and one of the fathers dressed up in the red suit and bearded and ho ho hoed to hand out presents to each child. His own children were so terrified of him, they could not approach, what they felt and were told was such a mismatch it spun them out. My daughter watched closely and shared afterwards that the man in the suit was our parcel delivery man, which was true.

     Her feelings radar was not lied to and remained perceptive, in contrast to my own memories of waiting and watching my parents to slip up at some stage. The need that got me overriding and blocking out what I felt, that it was all a very widespread lie, was that I did not want to contemplate that my parents were lying to me, as was every other adult and all of society. When I exposed the lie, hearing my mother speak on the phone about a present she had bought, which had supposedly come from Santa, I jumped on it, here was the proof for what I’d felt. But I was so shocked that she still tried to lie her way out of it that I reacted.

     I decided the other big myth that was peddled at that time of year, ‘the nativity’ was also a lie, as it never felt quite right sold through the religious stories. Both these myths were wrapped up in notions of being a ‘good girl’ and a false sense of magic. Part of my reaction with the world was to throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak. There were a few small bible extracts that felt true which I reacted against also. It had always been precious to me to hear the story of Jesus saying “let the little ones come unto me”. I got so sad, shocked and then hardening into anger that I talked with God and said I would not be speaking with him anymore as I was so confused about all I’d been told as opposed to what I felt. My trust in Myself was eroded, my trust in my own feelings radar was undermined.

     For a long time, this myth, and my hurt reaction led me to turn my back on God and the real magic that lives in nature. Steep consequences of a so called bit of ‘harmless’ ‘fun’.

     1. Hello Kate, reflecting on the damage caused by the Christmas lies has raised my sensitivity to the real harm that is being caused by this deception. Your comment felt very alive to me. It is like I can feel the hurt of that little girl and I can hear you telling God that you wouldn’t be speaking with him anymore. It’s a great example of how the hurt lives on, even years later. Amazingly, we can start to heal those old wounds by making amends with the next generation. How wonderful for your daughter that you are not continuing to pass on the Christmas myth and you supported her knowing that the man in a Santa costume was your parcel delivery man. A happy ending to what was feeling like a sad story. Thank you for sharing.

        1. Hi Gayle, yes the potential harm of the ‘father christmas’ lie is much more than we generally contemplate – as my story demonstrates. And yes, this small part of this much larger story has a great turn around – not only are my own children thoroughly empowered in their perceptions of the world around them as I have honoured them with the full respect of truth at every stage (to the best of my ability). But also, I have reinstated the wonderful friendship I had with God as a child, I feel his presence in the flowers, the clouds, the rain and the sun – no christianity to fog or filter things – just me and Gods warmth through natures beauty at its simplest and loveliest. The radar fritz I allowed catalyzed by the christmas lies was only a temporary glitch – my knowing of God ran very deep and natural. Knowing natures gifts as I do, I am also really appreciative that I made the choice not to be part of propagating the christmas, easter, tooth fairy etc etc myths. There is magic enough in the real world for children who know themselves.

216. Wow Gayle. Thank you! Empowering children to feel what is true in their bodies would make a real difference in the world.

     1. Wouldn’t it though!

217. Thank you Gayle for your blog. This year at Christmas day I did not meet up with my parents and family. I just had the afternoon off with my partner. Nothing big planned about food and it was so freeing and beauty-full. I could feel that this “you have to see your whole family at Christmas” doesn’t feel right – if it doesn’t come with a true loving intention to spend time together. So I told my parents I will visit them another time. It feels true and freeing to step out of this Christmas chaotic time which comes with so much pressure – also with buying presents and there is not much joy to be felt. It is great to simply drop all of that and to use the 3 days we have off to truly connect to ourselves and others and to enjoy each others’ company – but also the rest of the year!

     1. It is wonderful to hear of people following their hearts – rather than tradition WHEN the tradition doesn’t feel like the most loving thing to do for yourself. Yes, I feel that taking time to connect with ourselves can lead to doing it more often – and maybe even for the rest of the year!

218. This ‘Santa Lie’ is perpetuated in schools as well. I teach in a primary school and when I was with younger classes, there was a huge emphasis on Christmas art, practising for the school concert and the obligatory Christmas activity booklet of Santa dot-to dots etc. (used to keep the children busy while the teachers complete lots of administrative tasks in their rooms). Way back then I always felt an unease about this – but kept the status quo.

     As the years have passed, I’ve dropped the activity book and ‘recipe’ art, when the students’ creativity was ignored, and simply provided the materials and left it up to the students to design and create as they wished – with no expectation of participation. This has evolved into not celebrating Christmas in my classroom at all. The curriculum is designed so there are lots of other construction projects the students can work on and they have really relished doing this in the last few weeks before their holidays. I give them time to create Christmas cards if they wish, but many use the time for free drawing – a much loved activity for most children.

     The school concert is still there. It’s completely organised by a music teacher, however the time given to that seems to be decreasing as well. It’s not full of carols and Christmas themed songs anymore and a few skits and plays have helped add variety to what has been presented by the classes. The audience has so responded to these changes which I feel will encourage more variety next year as well.

     I know I am only one classroom in the school, but my students have not asked to do all the Christmas things they have been doing in the previous grades. They have happily gone along with a different way of doing things and their time freed from the ‘Santa Lie’ that schools traditionally impose on them.

     1. Hi Judith, now this is a heart warming Christmas story! Thank you for letting us know that change can be made gently. Without you imposing change, children are free to choose for themselves how much of the hype they wish to participate in. A lovely example for other teachers. I’m starting the new year in appreciation of your service in educating young people.

     2. Wow, this is great to read Judith. My son is at pre-school and for weeks there has been a lead up to Christmas with them being asked what presents Santa is going to bring them; them being told they are on Santa’s present list; having Christmas songs blasted through a cd player at them; making Christmas cards, stockings and wrapping paper – it feels to me very strong and very imposing and the children seem to have little choice in the matter as all the activities are based around the idea of Christmas. How lovely that you and the children have chosen not to celebrate Christmas in your classroom and that the children are given a choice.

219. Thank you for writing this article Gayle. I also remember the disappointment when finding out that Father Christmas was my parents, putting presents out when they thought we were asleep, which confirmed that the Santa story didn’t make sense.

     Now I appreciate that Christmas is a time when working and distant members of my immediate family make a special effort to be together, not because they should, but because they choose to.

     Christmas Eve is my husband’s birthday, and his Birthday dinner and Christmas lunch were joyful because we were sharing delicious meals with our family.

     1. Thanks, Bernadette, for sharing your enjoyment of the holiday meals with your family. The opportunity for spending quality time together and sharing a meal made with love, fortunately, is always available if we choose it. We have the power to imprint the holiday celebration that we want to have.

220. Your voice is very strong and very natural Gayle. It confirms to me what I already know and have known for all of my life, that the real value in the Christmas time of year is not the presents. Nor is it mum’s Christmas Turkey. It is about just being and enjoying truly connecting with others and with our family. This is something that I find is the seeming focus of Christmas but is rarely achieved. Makes me wonder what awesome glory this time of year could bring if it was truly about connection with self and connection with others. Thank you for sharing your ponderings with us all.

     1. Hi Josh, your comment made me reflect on this: IF we could evolve the Christmas holiday into a time of true connection with ourselves and our loved ones by at least one day in the year in which we were just ‘being’ together (where presence, not presents, was the gift) then we would have a foundation from which to keep that connection – the next day – and the next until it was a the normal way of being. That would be a lovely way to spread the cheer throughout the year.

        1. I love this idea Gayle, ‘IF we could evolve the Christmas holiday into a time of true connection with ourselves and our loved ones………in which we were just ‘being’ together (where presence, not presents, was the gift)’ what a true gift that would be.

221. What a beautiful blog. It brings to question the whole Santa saga and shows how a most precious part of childhood – the trust in the honesty of their parents a child holds – is violated simply because of this tradition – a tradition we know has been perpetuated through the ages to keep the tills in the shops ringing with sales.

     I so agree it affects a child’s perceptions of life and themselves. It feels like one of the beginnings of learning not to trust oneself as well. Deep down we know this story about Santa can’t be true, but as we get a wee bit older we usually choose to go along with it to keep our parents happy and to get a double dose of presents as well.

     Our local newspaper did a feature on the traditional photo with Santa. It was so obvious from the crying young ones that they had picked up on the falsity of it all and didn’t want to have a bar of this man, a stranger, disguised behind a false beard. This means that with parents showing by their actions they want us to keep the myth going, we are asked to become complicit with the whole deal. This then means we start training ourselves to ignore the truth of what our body is telling us and so we start the slippery slope away from being true to ourselves and what we innately feel and know. It seems such harmless fun, until you actually stop and see what is going on underneath all the glitter and sparkle of the Christmas myth.

     1. Thank you for your comments Judith. One of the most damning aspects of the Christmas lie for me was knowing in myself that it couldn’t possibly be true and yet having my parents insist that it was. Yes, it was the start of the slippery slope of self doubt.

        You bring up another excellent point; that being how scary it is for small children to be made to sit on the lap of a man they don’t know but who they most likely can tell has a false beard on! No wonder so many children are crying in their photo with Santa. This aspect of Christmas – the photo with Santa – just by itself, should be re-considered by parents. If a child does not want to sit on Santa’s lap, or any adult’s lap, honour their inner knowing of what is right for them.

        1. In an age when many children are taught to have nothing to do with ‘strange men’ it does seem contradictory to encourage children to sit on the lap of a man dressed in a peculiar red suit and sporting an obviously false beard. How confusing is that? Children know the whole Santa Claus tale is not right, but many accept it to keep their parents happy. What else as they grow up, will they accept in order to not ‘rock the boat’ Abuse? More lies? Hypocrisy? Bad governance? The list is endless, and it could well have its roots in this ‘bit of fun’

222. Christmas, a time of quiet repose. Beautifully said. Thank you Gayle.

     1. Thank you for highlighting what Christmas could be about, Clare. I feel Christmas cards are falling off in the 21st century and I personally prefer to send loving thoughts to someone as I am spontaneously impulsed to do, but I’m dreaming of a new line of holiday cards that could be sent to friends and family in far away places, wishing them a time of quiet repose. 😉

        1. Gorgeous Gayle. Holiday cards honouring quiet repose? Now thats a beautiful gift.

        2. I love the suggestion for this period of ending one year and preparation toward the start of a new one, as a time of quiet and repose. And any gatherings with a true appreciation and validation of our love, our essence and our relationships. The appreciation of love, cycles, reflection, true relationships and magic of life. And for our children, it feels so much more honouring and loving to grow up with this.

     2. Beautifully said Clare. It would be awesome for all if Christmas was a time of quiet repose, but instead it’s the complete opposite with its massive commercialisation and build up. Its quite sad really.

223. When I had a child I vowed never to lie to him about Christmas and Santa as I didn’t want to break his trust. We always have a wonderful time and I’m sure he is just as excited as any other child without having to suffer the consequences of having his belief in magic broken.

     I know when I was young I felt hurt and confused that my parents lied to me and it made me question if they could lie about that, what else were they lying about too.

     To me and my family now, having parents who are truthful is far more special than believing in Santa.

     1. Hi Rachel, you are amongst the few people I know personally who have not continued to perpetuate the Santa story. What a brave position to take. Well done!

        Your statement that you wondered “what else parents may be lying about” was brought clearly to the forefront this morning when one of my friends was sharing her experience with me of being told there was no Santa. On that occasion, her mother said to her that “she was worried that children, upon hearing that Santa wasn’t real, may also think that God wasn’t real”. Whoa! That could be a big consequence of a little white lie, eh!

     2. Wow, Ryan… Could it be that this is where beliefs that are dishonest, lying or corruptive actually begin to be accepted, all dressed up as a gift? Once we start on this ill path it becomes justifiable to live the same in other instances and not just at Christmas.

     3. Hello Ryan. Thank you!! Yes, thank you for joining the discussion and Yes, thank you for not lying to your children but mostly, a big THANK YOU for stepping up to break the consciousness. As you have so beautifully asked – what is really happening when the lies of Christmas become a bit of fun and that is more important than the Truth? We are condoning deception. What an example to set for our children, indeed.

     4. This is beautiful, Ryan and consciousness breaking – young children starting life with Truth will develop into truthful and less complicated adults. Thank you.

     5. Well done to you Ryan and Mrs McWaters for speaking the Truth and what a great question from your son. What is interesting is how much children trust every word a parent says. So your son does not think you are lying and the other children think their parents are not lying. How awful that these tiny lies actually affect us – the dishonesty has to continue just to be part of this ‘silly season’, as someone once called it.

     6. Great comment Ryan, and its prettily wrapped parcel of lies hides so much more; the stress and debt experienced by parents trying to ‘keep up’ with other expectations, the avoidance of honesty within the family. And what happened to the simple joys of simply BEING with our children – all year?

     7. Wow Ryan. I felt the impact of the last sentence. It is profound: “Perhaps the seeds of acceptable corruption, dishonesty and lies are given to us wrapped in a bow.” We would not proactively sanction blatantly lying and misleading loved ones about anything, yet this is done at Christmas. And because this is sugar coated, being camouflaged with presents, the glitz and fun of the occasion, the harm is easily accepted and ignored.
        I love the fact that you and many other parents are now choosing to be honest with your children.

     8. Great comment Ryan. So true how we sugar coat lies to make them more digestible, but everything is felt – a lie is a lie – ridiculous and insidious.

     9. “That fact that most all parents regard such a massive lie to their kids as ‘it’s just a bit of fun’, or ‘but that’s part of the magic of Christmas’ is telling of just where in the pecking order Truth comes in our society. ” – such a revealing comment ‘the seeds of acceptable corruption’ – ‘wrapped in a bow’. That is such a stop and feel moment to read that. Thank you Ryan.

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