437 thoughts on “The True Joy of Not Needing to Be Right”

1. In my experience it is an absolute joy to let go of the need to be right. It’s something I’ve been practising for a while now and whenever I do let that righteousness go, I feel my entire body relax letting the love I am flood back into the space that’s been reopened within me.

2. If everyone is holding onto hurts in the world, then that is an awful lot of hurts that are being lived and breathed each day. And as is shared here, a hurt sends us into a movement or reaction that is not us, so that is a lot of people walking around not as who they truly are. And that has a massive effect on the state of the world. So what an amazing opportunity to actually want to look at healing these hurts and allowing ourselves to live more of who we truly are. The question becomes – do we want to further indulge in these hurts and make them our defence, or are we willing to see that they are not us and that we can start to live in a way that is not in reaction.

3. Luz the more I’ve come to appreciate that I don’t need to be right, that its ok for me to learn, to ‘make mistakes’ the greater I’ve felt at ease and more loving I am with myself and others. the need to be right has caused me so many problems in the past.

4. We can live throughout life with an armour of self protection, that can weigh us down with every step. To live in a way that we are ready for “battle” at every moment is so very exhausting. To let go of the need to be right, and healing the hurts that fueled this need, can be very liberating and can totally changed the way you choose to live.

5. “Wouldn’t it be amazing to detach from the outcome in all situations?” Yes. What I have been doing lately is ask myself the question, ‘What if it really doesn’t matter?’, this is helping to free me from the need to be right.

6. “I prefer to carry on numbing myself and indulging in the ill patterns, rather than having to stop, feel and be responsible for the separation I’ve allowed and fed. It feels like too much to handle and it seems it would take too much time to reverse/change! I prefer to keep the focus outside of myself, and not have to deal with it all. OUCH!” Yes, painful but true for me too.

7. We are so trained that life is about right and wrong, black and white and all the opposites that we do not even consider another way. What you share here shows how we can actually let go of these beliefs, step by step, and that there is an inner knowing and beingness within ourselves that does not ask for any investments and being right or wrong but allows for contentedness and joy in our life.

8. Letting go of the right/wrong paradigm is a big one for most people as it is so engrained in us and offers us a moment to be irresponsible. There is therefore no love in right and wrong, just rules and regulations.

9. Thanks Luz, this was so helpful to read today. This line is exactly the truth for me too, “The ways I think things should be are not based on what is needed and what works for all. They are based on my personal interests and my FEARS.” I often feel quite clearly when I’m in emotion it’s to do with some false need the little self has, which is not a true need at all but coming from a place of disempowerment and from attachment to pictures of how I think life and people need to be.

10. It hurts to be individual and yet it has indeed been a huge investment. I don’t feel that I am fully aware yet of how big an investment but I know from experience that each time I let another bit go and feel the unity with everything it feels amazing. So much so it is definitely worth investing in connection rather than separation.

11. Giving up on the need to be right, and instead surrendering to the willingness to be love is a life changing experience no one would ever look back and regret.

12. When we finally stop fighting our own evolution and embrace more of who truly are, we then have to deal with the momentum of ill choices we have made in order to create space in our lives with a deeper level of surrendering to what is and not the controlling and need to be right.

    1. Very wise words of truth.

13. This line resonated with me – I felt joy –
    ” the true meaning of JOY is allowing others to feel all the love that they are in their greatest moments, and to give them the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at.” I start by giving myself space to feel where I’m at. This in turn supports how I need to respond by feeling what I need to feel first and how I need to move.

14. Just loved reading your blog this morning Luz. Thank you. Needing to be right takes up so much energy and puts us in a place that is devoid of joy so by stepping down from this righteousness and allowing a connection to what is simply true and surrendering to that we feel also the love and joy returning.

15. We are very quick to point the finger when we do not want to see our own misdoings and ill ways of being. This can only be done when we are not holding ourselves and every other person as an all knowing Son of God. There is no space for judgment when we are aware of the fact that we are all connected and identical by essence.

16. Many of us having been hurt in life go on to try to get everything right so as to avoid being hurt again, just like the so true examples you give in this blog, then we have protection on top of all this, and become harder and disconnected to our truth, ‘How much damage have I caused to myself by choosing to hold onto my hurts, give up on my delicateness and allow the hardness to take over?’

17. Allowing people and situations to be, without imposing my ideals or pictures on them so as I falsely think to protect me from being hurt is still something I am observing and bringing more understanding and reading to.

18. Its hard to fully appreciate just how much being hurt, or avoiding hurt is driving our lives, our choices and our understanding. The presentations of Serge Benhayon have been crucial for me in understanding this, and finding the connection within to permanently change the role of hurt in my life.

    1. I agree Heather, we can set up our whole life based on managing hurts, instead of living from who we truly are underneath the hurts – our essence.

19. When we finally figure out that we do not need to be right it is such a relief for all concerned. Trying to be right is extremely stressful.

20. I have recently struggling with this learning – again – I guess with understanding I am learning and it may need a couple of repeats ! It is so strong the need to be right when you are in it. What I get the most from reading this is allowing respect and grace.

21. There is an arrogance in needing to be ‘right’ that stops us from seeing our expression as a development of awareness.

    1. It also shuts us down to truly listening to others.

22. To be able to let go of the need to be right begins to release the hardness within our body that has come from living in such an unnatural, but commonly accepted way. It feels like a back pack of heavy rocks has been cast aside and the ensuing feeling of freedom and lightness throughout the body is definitely joy-full.

23. Such a deeply honest and inspiring piece of writing. I don’t think there would be a human being alive on this planet that would not have experienced some of what you have shared around your hurts. But not all are as honest as you. And I could feel the Ouch (for myself as well!) but not the sting, and for me, there in lies the difference of being able to see it and then let it go without giving yourself a hard time.

24. I still fall into this trap Luz, but when I don’t need to be right, life is much simpler and I create far less division and conflict.

25. Thank you Luz. Yesterday I had such a joyful experience with someone who years ago I would probably have reacted against. I could have felt let down, disrespected, unloved, uncared for, mistreated, dismissed, even abused by his behaviour but by accepting him absolutely and connecting from a pure place of truth and understanding we were able to have a connection free of any imposition . I could feel his ‘stuff’ fall away as I continued to be absolutely true to myself.

    1. Thankyou Elaine for your comment, I can very much relate to feeling “let down, disrespected, unloved, uncared for….” etc, from all the pictures and expectations I have had of others. It’s quite imposing isn’t it, expecting another to be a certain way so we can feel good. It’s wonderful what you have shared about being able to be in connection to yourself (and all the love and truth that comes with that), instead of trying to get a certain behaviour from another, and be in “connection” to them with a view to the end result of the hurt/empty self wanting to get its needs met. We can reconnect to our own essence and fill up with all the love we are instead. Thanks for sharing, it’s been inspiring and supportive to read about your experience.

26. Needing to be ‘right’ harms and separates and feels very different from being true.

27. Allowing another the space to be who they are comes from an inner acceptance of all that one is.

28. When we let go of our hurts, there is no need to hold onto the need to be right, because we use the need to be right as a form of protection in order to protect ourselves from the hurts we already carry.

29. In wanting to be right, we have to make something/someone wrong. This is stifling to our innate way of being. To be able to live without that need and want, I agree, is a joy.

30. All so beautifully open, honest and transparent Luz. A big lesson for me also has been learning that in order to truly live what it true, we cannot be invested in anyone else ‘getting it’ – for it is this investment that nudges us into the fight and thus leave truth asunder. In-truth we cannot corrupt the absoluteness that is Truth, but we can damage our perception of it.

31. Wow this is such a great sharing of the understanding of why we hold onto our hurts and how we actually can let them go. Having done Livingness one this weekend it is so awesome when you feel your essence and anothers, tangibly so, that it is immense, whole, full, unimposing, there fully, and no hurt has diminished it in anyway.

32. Luz, this blog beautifully describes a life which is for self verses a life that serves love. Gorgeous, thank you.

33. Such a great blog Luz, there is so much that we want others to be and do in the world so that we actually don’t have to feel what is really going on. So that we can allow our own ideals and beliefs to not get ruffled or challenged, but when we do that, we are pretty much ensuring that we don’t have to feel the tension that arises in us when we are challenged.

34. A brilliant awareness here Luz – it is so easy to blame everyone else rather feel our own hurt and pain.
    “This obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses is a way that I use to numb myself from my own deep hurt and the pain that it would cause me to really feel how far I walked away from my natural way of being”.

35. “when I allow the easiness and playfulness of my true self to manifest again.” Amen to that!

36. So true Harry. This blog is a big ouch for me.

37. “In the past I have identified myself with a warrior battling though life. I have fought and rebelled against everybody and everything because I feel that if I didn’t go to extremes, I wouldn’t make a difference and justice wouldn’t be achieved – a far cry from the true joy of not needing to be right that I have been deeply longing for!” It feels so exhausting to be living this way-against our true natures, and yet we make it our normal.

38. “I have been hurt in life, not unlike many others. And because I don’t want to be hurt EVER AGAIN, I have a need to ‘be right’ and find ways to survive and protect myself.” To put it this way is most revealing. We put so much energy into being right, it makes sense when you put it that way. However, we sign up for it when we react to it.It is like we become it.

39. You are quite right Luz. It would certainly seem to the unclear, undecerning eye that not being right cannot be joyful in anyway at all. Particularly if we have an investment or attachment in being so. But this is the world today. People are so fixed on standing for the way that best befits them, be it a certain political party, belief, ideal or attachment in things being a certain way instead of what is true for all which is the true joy of all

40. Blame, denial, accusations or being caught up in what other people are doing or saying are great markers that we are not looking at something within ourselves — in other words, a clever distraction away from something that is ready to be seen and dealt with that is not in line with the truth of who we are.

41. ‘How much damage have I caused to myself by choosing to hold onto my hurts, give up on my delicateness and allow the hardness to take over?’ I became so very, very hard by choosing to hold onto my hurts which I did for a long time. But it is so not worth it for the damage that this causes to our body and our internal organs. Through the courses of Universal Medicine and making different choices I have cleared so much of my old baggage (hurts) and today feel so much lighter!

42. “How much damage have I caused to myself by choosing to hold onto my hurts, give up on my delicateness and allow the hardness to take over?” Reading this blog was very timely, I had just had a week where I hadn’t been self honouring, not going with my impulses and intuition to be with myself, take initiative at work and was feeling the affects of my choices at the end of the week, which was, feeling really yuk inside myself, so ended up having an argument with someone. It didn’t feel good, I could feel how unreasonable I was being, but kept on with it, making myself feel awful and the other person. All because I hadn’t wanted to stay in my delicateness all week, really with myself and make loving choices. It has been a very big lesson indeed.

43. Being “right” does bring a hardness to ourselves and our bodies, and usually comes with a complete lack of understanding and allowing of someone to choose their own choices. There is a lot of joy in surrendering and allowing whatever is going on around you to continue going on without needing or trying to change it, but instead understanding that different people are in different places in their evolutionary cycles, and that is simply ok.

44. In learning how to return to love I have found what is considered to be true joy and when I move with a consistent harmony in my body I feel true joy.

45. Needing to be right, in my experience, is exhausting and in most cases a futile exercise, whereas letting go of this controlling behaviour opens the space in our lives to be filled with joy. You would think then that we would go for the joy every time but for some strange reason many of us still want to be right – in spite of the consequences.

46. It was not surprising to get to the end of this blog and discover it was written by you Luz! A joyful and serious life lesson in here! Letting go of being ‘right’ is of course letting go of our own hurt first. We are not adjudicators of others expression of their hurts! Bringing understanding of how we have built many different protective behaviours is critical in feeling the true joy of our being and expressing from this place. It is a constant choice and one that requires a big dose of self understanding and self love to activate more and more.

47. In creating right, we create wrong. In needing to be right, I am needing others to be wrong. It’s one of the best way to keep myself apart from the rest. In separation, there’s no joy. I cannot be in true joy by myself.

48. The joy of being playful while not being right is a powerful way of expressing.

49. Reading your awesome blog brings to mind the quote “Nothing is more likely to destroy a species or a nation than a determination to survive at all costs”.

50. “This obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses is a way that I use to numb myself from my own deep hurt and the pain that it would cause me to really feel how far I walked away from my natural way of being.” Although I don’t believe I was obsessive I certainly can relate to using similar patterns of behaviour to cover up and hide from my true feelings.

51. Amazing Sharing Liane, truth is a lived expression and doesn’t fit the pictures of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’

52. From your blog I can clearly feel how “needing to be right” places our body in a real state of hardness and almost aggression, which warns off other people not to challenge what is being held onto.

53. Holding onto past hurts makes us meet life through the ideals and beliefs which are laced with protection, control, survival, and it is only until we accept and let go what has happened in the past that we can welcome and live the future in the fullness of who we are.

54. I love reading of the commitment you have to living all the love you are, bringing awareness to what stands in the way of that and being prepared to let it go so to not taint your true expression. There is so much beauty in the allowing of this compared to the harm we cause ourselves and others through the fighting to protect what often isn’t even true.

55. It feels like joy comes from another level or dimension entirely when we choose it over judgments and attachments to being right. It is like a doorway to another realm.

56. In truth there is no right or wrong, there is simply what is. It is beautiful to realise that protection is the very thing that harms us, and that by being present and open to the moment before us without judgement brings a deeper understanding and we can see truly.

57. Being right does not really protect ourselves. Being right and wrong is always subject to subjectivity…. and to the need of protecting ourselves, hence the hurts and emotions. It is a way to survive in a stream of energy which does not change for the fact of who is right and who is wrong.

58. I have experienced this level of care you speak of when someone is speaking to me and it is how I endeavor to be in all conversation, what trips me up sometimes is hurt, it usually only comes up with people that I am very close with, ie, my partner or family members. The hurt of not being understood or seen, can make me crazy and then I actually end up acting out all my fears of what is being “done” to me, on the other person anyway. Its crazy turn of events but then again, hurt is a bit like that, it can do crazy things if you allow it to take you over.

59. Reading this again it has really resonated for me at a much deeper level this time. Reading, “the true meaning of JOY is allowing others to feel all the love that they are in their greatest moments, and to give them the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at” I realise how much I still come from judgment. You express so beautifully how being ‘right’ is so destructive and achieves only the opposite of what one is wanting.

60. Needing to be right is such a red herring and ends up nowhere true in the end. Truth however unites and confirms everyone involved, nobody is less, wrong or on the outer… beautiful really.

61. Wow have I learned a lot about this one. I know I have in the past, stood my ground, been argumentative, talked over people, just to get my point across or with the view to be right. This leaves noone feeling loved or evolving in those moments, this is super important if we want to truly evolve as a race of people. We must get past the need to be right, this may be a way off, but we need to bring attention to this if it is to shift as it needs to.

62. I know that it is when we get to feel the truth in the smallest and simplest of things that we move up the ladder to a greater responsibility. This is why it is super important for me to be present and observe my movements in everything I do and say.

63. Expressing how we feel without reaction constantly is so key in my experience to being able to let go of hurts and not harbour them or hang on to them.

64. This investment or need for things to be a certain way or to have a certain outcome is huge and I can feel how much it is there to justify hanging on to my own hurts and to not be responsible in claiming my truth of what I feel and expressing that in any situation.

65. When we don’t need to be right, there is no winner and no loser when conflict occurs, but instead an opportunity for willing participants to bring understanding.

66. “I now know that it is far easier to commit to something for LOVE, than it is because of vengeance, revenge, rebellion, or to make justice.” This is also far easier on the body, as love is its natural way. The separation of humanity that has lead to vengeance, revenge and rebellion has done damage to our bodies that will not be truly seen for some time to come

67. “I now know that it is far easier to commit to something for LOVE, than it is because of vengeance, revenge, rebellion, or to make justice.” I can’t help but wish this was the experience of all of us the world over, but this wishing is just another way of wanting to be right, and for others to be able to see that. Letting others ourselves and others just be is one of the greatest gifts we can give.

68. love your detailed description here about how ‘needing to be right’ damages our body. In the end of the day, If we haven’t achieved all that we desired, if we weren’t successful, what have we lost? we have lost everything if we don’t live who we truly are. The more I let go of what I am trying to protect the more I see that there is nothing to go and get, It is all within.

69. Thank you for your blog Luz – great work. I still find myself dipping into the stubborn “I’m right at all costs” attitude. Your blog shows many the way forth in terms of dropping investments in the outside world

70. Awesome to read this again this morning and feel the love truth and power. Very inspiring, thank you Luz.

71. Luz I know the need to be right only too well, on the surface I felt this was because I had no confidence but actually it goes deeper than that. In this world where almost everyone gets hurt by almost everyone else the only way I knew of protecting myself was to always be right, it meant that I would not get challenged and if I did I was right anyway – if i was wrong then i felt deeply deflated. The more I’ve also let go of needing to be right, allowing myself to appreciate what others can bring and presenting what I feel is true the greater at ease I feel with myself. It’s been life changing.

72. “I now know that it is far easier to commit to something for LOVE, than it is because of vengeance, revenge, rebellion, or to make justice.” What a beautiful line in a blog full of lines that are pure gold. Committing to something for love is effortless and natural, committing to something out of duty or fear is taxing and not our true way.

73. ‘Wouldn’t it be amazing to walk in a body that is tender, healthy and full of energy AGAIN?’ this is such a great question, surely if the answer is yes then our every movement, our every thought and choice has to be towards making this true and our everyday reality.

74. If there would be a ‘right thing’ to do, to reach, we could be finished one day. But we don’t. Never. In fact, we are connected to the Universe, which does forever expand, and so we are called to develop, evolve and expand ongoing. To accept and become aware where I am right now builds the foundation for my expanding, for my next step. And so on. I move in a way (with or against the Universe-Pull) and this has consequences – that’s all.

75. To observe and not absorb is one of the most powerful things we can welcome into how we live.
    When we stop taking everything on – we have the space to see the bigger picture and not react or give our power away.

    1. Absolutely Hannah, it is through observation that we can detach from our judgments and see the truth without needing to be right.

76. Dear Luz,
    There is no need to be right when we connect to ourselves, our choices and the choices of others. What is present is the perfect guide back to love for each and every person. This guide manifests in many different taylor made ways for each of us, it is very present and real and constantly delivering to us what we need to see and feel. In this we can not stay in the confines of needing to be right, but expand instead into knowing it already is right.

77. “an empty search for happiness” The striving to find happiness leads to disappointment as it is always fleeting and elusive and the search goes on. When we feel joy there is no elation but a profound sense of equalness of love between people.

78. The desire to be right is driven by need for self recognition, and although it seems so real, it is in my experience always about just me rather than being inclusive of everyone around me.

79. I often find in truth that I am fighting myself within my own body. That what I perceive or see on the outside is a reflection of how I am with me. The biggest fight definitely comes from within my own body, a fight to avoid surrendering completely to God and letting go of creation. It’s exhausting on many levels, both physically and mentally. Crazy really for I know and have felt many times how incredible and natural it is to let go of all these pictures, ideals and beliefs, and completely surrender to God.

80. Ouch ‘ The compulsive need to express the injustices in others’ behaviours and situations comes from a pattern of survival and deep resentment.” I’m not sure about the survival part but definitely the deep resentment – and ouch moment and something I need to look at. Why do I resent or even get annoyed or frustrated at other peoples choices and behaviours? Why do I need people or situations to be a certain way? This is super imposing and not loving at all, I feel it’s a form of control and comfort for me, if people etc are like this, then I don’t need to see the truth, step up and take responsibility. I also feel it means I don’t have to look at my own stuff in that moment, again it all comes back to responsibility, and it exposes the lack of self love in my body, and what I am not choosing to live, for if I was completely whole in being, without needs, I would be far more understanding and accepting of people. I can feel how horrendous it is to not allow another the grace and space to make their own choices in their own time.

81. ha ha ha “In the past I have identified myself with a warrior battling though life.’ I can totally relate to this, when I harden and go into protection it’s almost like a warrior with his sword and shield. I shouldn’t laugh as it feels awful, but I now use this as marker, a tool, as in I have a choice in every moment, do I want to be that or do I want to be beautiful, tender and delicate me. The choice is very simple and easy, I choose me. This doesn’t always happen straight away, but I know I have a marker, a very known and clear feeling in my body, of this is me, this is the real me.

82. I can very much relate to the protecting myself to not be hurt, I have come to understand the truth is I feel much more isolated, and hurt when I harden and try to protect myself, rather than being open, feeling everything and letting people in without needing them to be a certain way. Life is much more simple and joyful to live this way. I also feel a greater joy and connection to people and I love to be with them. I am much more understanding and don’t take things personally. Things do still hurt, but I can feel where they came from – nominate it, let go, rather than hold on to them, or shut down to that person.

83. ‘The True Joy of Not Needing to Be Right’ this brings a smile to my face and whole body, it’s almost like a relief, a big sigh out, my body can surrender in the knowing it’s not about right, but truth and honouring not dismissing what I feel.

84. Luz the word detachment popped out at me whilst reading this – we seem to have so much investment in things these days – how others will react, how others will behave ect – but really this just sets us up to fall. There is a deeply supportive opportunity to try things differently – to not take things on, not react, to detach from the emotion of people. And when we let go of this control and need, it allows us to connect to people and simply observe.

85. The need to be right places huge pressure on relationships and prevents any true connection.

86. When we let go, of needing to be right, or trying to control everything… its then that we can observe what is really going on, the ebb and flow of energy in ourselves and in others. We can become more discerning because we then have a real choice as to what we align to.

87. Being right is like forcing truth down someone’s throat. We are not understanding ourselves or the other and this does not offer healing for anyone

88. Just letting go- learning to truly do this so that there is more space for our true selves to be.

89. This needing to be right expresses itself in me by a desire to control situations… to get it neatly packaged so all the i’s and t’s are attended to, everything is in place. It takes enormous effort (which is exhausting) and is ultimately impossible as there is a whole world of other people, other energy that is moving around as well with the potential to throw in a curved ball at any moment. Yet in every moment I have the opportunity to be me. Simple, effortless, divine – and I don’t need the outside world to be anything or do anything for me to experience that. And when I am fully me…. then the world gets a blessing, as it does with any one of us fulfilling the same potential.

90. This is such an honest sharing I can relate to fighting and rebelling against everyone and everything in society and always wanting to be right and for me being my hypervigilance kept me in a constant state of alert and always a step ahead of what was going to happen next. This state of being and focus served to keep me extremely numb to my own hurts and isolated and disconnected from humanity. It really wasn’t until I listened to Serge Benhayon’s presentations of the Ageless Wisdom that I could truly identify these patterns in my life and stop and feel the devastation that holding onto my hurts was having on my body. Learning to re-connect with myself and love and nurture my body and connect with the warmth and love of my inner heart I have been able to express the love that I am and allow love into my life.

91. ‘Wouldn’t it be amazing to detach from the outcome in all situations?’ YES it would. That control, we all know so well does nothing for us. My body is a perfect example of how trying to control life simply doesn’t work.

92. Being self-righteousness feels like you are up high, craning down over others nearby and stretching out long arms to point out and alert them to their mistaken ways. True understanding feels like it comes up from the ground through my legs, firm and long. It opens up its palms from underneath to support everyone who is around. It is like it is holding them and supporting them to also be strong. Thank you Luz, for writing this blog and clarifying the big difference we can feel with these qualities in our body.

93. Great sharing Luz of the way we can transform the level of protection in our bodies through the quality of our movements at any given time and allow the joy and harmony in our relationships.

94. Just yesterday I was caught up in wrong and right, wanting to express that I was ‘right’ I was stubborn and wanted to prove my point, thankfully I realised how awful this all felt in my body so I relaxed and let go of my need to prove myself, the energy dissipated and I could see how it didn’t matter if I was wrong or right all that mattered at that moment was getting back to harmony within myself and the other person. When I get caught in wrong and right I know i have gone individual when I step back and instead choose to see truth I get to see the bigger picture.

95. Luz, thank you for your honest and insightful sharing story. For many years I lost Joy. I didn’t know why it went or how to get it back. Reading your story has prompted my thinking about this. It all correlates to the time that I experience tremendous trauma to my family and I. I changed my ways for protection and survival. This transpired to me withdrawing, reacting and controlling life and not responding lovingly with it. This is where I last felt my JOY. My journey back has been through healing my hurts. Surrendering and appreciating who I truly am. With compassion to be and let others be where they are at.

96. How horrible it must be on our body to always to be on alert! Imagine a massive door with tight hinges that is always under tension; it doesn’t take long for the pressure to began to wear away and cause damage. Are we not do the same to our bodies? We are an amazing creation with all we can do but do not work or last long under continued pressure.
    Joy is the oil for our hinges in life.

97. Closing ourselves off and hardening ourselves as a form of protection to keep others out it is a double edge sword. When you keep others out for fear of being hurt the armor may not allow anything to penetrate, but it also unfortunately keeps out the love that can nourish support and heal us too.

98. I can totally relate to this blog and the need to be right, presented from a so called intelligence. This is how I grew up and how my family related. It has caused a lot of tension in my body and my movements which causes a tension between others and a protection and hardness towards them. At the end of the day it has made me extremely lonely and separated from life. I now see this is a behaviour I took on because others did it and it is so so far from the tender and understanding woman I am.

99. Thank you Luz for generously sharing your wisdom on this topic. Oh how we all like things to go our way and meet our expectations!! How we try to cover up our hurts and protect ourselves is a constant source of even more pain if we are unable to step back from a situation and look at our own patterns of behaviour. If we can do this we have the opportunity to go even deeper and look at what might be triggering this feedback loop. From experience I have found it’s hard to not get attached to images and beliefs etc but the more I am learning to do this, thanks to support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners, the more my life flows.

100. Luz, The many traps that come with needing to be right are so insidious, it comes in so many different forms. One for every situation that we may find ourselves with. These traps are not discerned and felt by our bodies, but instead coming with as you say fear and a deep inner turmoil that pushes one to have the upper hand, by being right for self protection. Thank you for sharing your own unravelling of this for yourself, our world so needs such honesty and the opportunity to feel just how very true your experience is.

101. ‘my understanding of what Serge said is that the true meaning of JOY is allowing others to feel all the love that they are in their greatest moments, and to give them the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at’ Thank you for sharing this. I feel that this is true for me and allows me to appreciate the joy I have so often brought to the world and also allows me to see how I hold back and thus allow a disharmony to prevail at other times – for any one of the ‘reasons’ you have listed here – I can see there is no real need for this, it is just illusion, letting myself get in the way of the joy that is naturally there.

102. “I prefer to carry on numbing myself and indulging in the ill patterns, rather than having to stop, feel and be responsible for the separation I’ve allowed and fed. It feels like too much to handle and it seems it would take too much time to reverse/change!” It can seem like it’s too much to handle but the truth is it’s far more damaging in the long term to continue with the cycle of numbing. The problem is the damage we’re doing to ourselves isn’t immediately obvious and we can be under the illusion that we’re getting away with it. From experience once the choice is made to start feeling again initially it can feel overwhelming and yet the more we allow the feelings to rise the less intense they become over time until such time as we learn and start to deal with things as they arise.

103. What you have expressed here Luz is so inspiring; what a beautiful blessing for you and your friend;
     “I felt Joy that I had no desire and not an ounce of needing to be right, win or make myself be understood. I could only feel the gentleness in my body. I felt delicate. I felt a deep JOY for having felt me – and felt the other in absolute freedom”.

104. ‘ I haven’t given any value to keeping things simple, staying still and letting things go their way, while I express my gentle, sensitive, considerate, and present self.’ This here is powerful. Keeping things simple is never to be underestimated. It’s the key to deepening our quality of life.

     1. Absolutely agree, simplicity allows clarity, space and the quality of stillness to be.

105. Spot on Alison. This is so relevant to me.

106. That’s very cool Adam. Your comment about how hard it is to imagine that a baby could end up being anything but love is so valid. What happens along the way is something we need to bring more awareness too.

107. Your last sentence Luz sums it up. Stopping the fight and allowing who you truly are to just be is the ultimate key to freedom.

108. Getting lost in complication is one of the many ways I have used to divert myself and not acknowledge how simple it can be to return to breathing gently and connecting to my heart and feeling what is true in any situation. When I am willing to take responsibility for myself and detach from outcomes it is amazing to feel the transformation in my life and my relationships.

109. ‘Right is a poor consolation prize for not being all of me when I am unwilling to let go of my hurts.’ So true Fiona and the inequality it engenders keeps us in isolation and further embeds the hurts that we are trying to protect ourselves from feeling.

110. Love how you have expressed so eloquently the true cost of fighting for right. It has been my default position for most of my life where going into warrior mode was how I approached most situations and for good measure took on other people’s fights as well as a further distraction from connecting to myself. Getting to feel the damage I had inflicted on myself and letting go of the armour of protection that needing to be right had built up has been so freeing and has transformed so many of my relationships. For this morning I am feeling how amazing it would be to detach ‘from the outcome in all situations’. Thank you Luz a true gem of a blog.

     1. Detaching from the outcome – A big one!! This is such a valuable lesson to learn. I certainly need to be practicing this more often. So controlled in my want to be right and for things to be a certain way, I miss out on the opportunity to just allow the natural order of things to occur.

111. It is incredible how hard I have fought to hang onto blame and anger. I recently found myself in a disagreement with others and went to bed furious that nobody could see I was ‘right’. It was then that I remembered Serge Benhayon presenting that it is impossible to be ‘right’ in an argument as you have already left yourself when you chose to argue in the first place.

     This allowed me to let go of the anger in my body and feel the hurt underneath from a place of honesty and from here I was able to take responsibility.

     1. Gosh Leonne, I have had that experience several times. Several? What?! That’s an understatement. But you’re right…choosing to argue in the first place already has us choosing to be better than another by believing we are right.

     2. Awesome awareness here Leonne. ‘it is impossible to be ‘right’ in an argument as you have already left yourself when you chose to argue in the first place.’

112. Thank you Luz, love these words ” nowadays I am able to feel more and more often the JOY of not needing to be right, the true joy that accompanies a life that is lived when I take my hurt self out of the way, and when I allow the easiness and playfulness of my true self to manifest again.” When I am just being the love I am, true joy follows.

113. I have often felt hurt and found it difficult to deal with others’ inefficiency and what to me appears to be obvious wrong-doings, and my desire to ‘correct’ them comes with judgment more often than not. Judging others feels as though I am building a brick wall inside and around me, and it blocks my view to be understanding of their choices and behaviours.

114. This need to be right that I can so relate to, I am just wondering – what if I am able to truly trust myself, which means I know I am at least being as honest as I can be with myself, would I still need others to agree with me to confirm that I am right?

115. One thing I have noticed in myself of late in needing to be right is when others express how they are feeling. If I don’t agree with it, I try to convince them out of it and justify why they shouldn’t feel that way. Instead of just allowing them to feel what they feel and acknowledging that, I want to explain why they shouldn’t feel that way. It seems crazy when I write it, but alas it is true!

116. “I have experienced this, the power of my own love again. This part within has not been corrupted or hurt, it has stayed always radiant, FULL and beautiful.“ Thank you for sharing this blog with us Luz, perfect reading for me today. Understanding that when we protect ourselves from getting more hurt we actually feed the existing hurt and hold onto it. Whereas when we heal our hurts we are able to connect to our purity and tender essence within us, which stays untouched from all our experiences.

117. “Can I just simply observe and lovingly understand what is at play in others’ reactions without reacting myself and wanting things to be different?” This is huge letting go of wanting people to be different is freeing ourselves to be who we are.

     1. That question for me is huge. I struggle to leave people with their reactions and to stay with myself. When I do stay with myself I stay with the clarity, but once I react or try to talk others through their reaction, I’m gone and so is any clarity. I have an investment in people “getting it” which I am working on letting go of.

118. “This obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses is a way that I use to numb myself from my own deep hurt and the pain that it would cause me to really feel how far I walked away from my natural way of being. I prefer to carry on numbing myself and indulging in the ill patterns, rather than having to stop, feel and be responsible for the separation I’ve allowed and fed. It feels like too much to handle and it seems it would take too much time to reverse/change! I prefer to keep the focus outside of myself, and not have to deal with it all. OUCH!”

     This is what I know very well too and it was supportive to bring a deeper understanding to this aspect. I behaved in that way especially with my partner that I always focus on what is not right with him and telling him which brought up rejection on his side. In in this way I avoided to look at my own stuff, a trick really.

119. Beautiful Luz, what you share is so true. We waste much time looking outside ourselves trying to be right, distracting ourselves, and expecting someone else to heal our hurts for us when our greatest strength is actually to connect to the innate love and wisdom that we all hold equally inside us. When we come from that fullness life is so much more simpler and you have far greater awareness to not only heal yourself but to understand yourself and everyone and everything in the world around you.

120. Yes Luz, this desire to be ‘right’ is an attempt for control to protect ourselves by manipulating life. Contrast this with what I felt yesterday at Universal Medicine’s Livingness 1 workshop – that way before any action or task we have an essence or quality and that is actually all we need to be in life. This incessant striving for superiority is just a poor substitute for feeling our true power that comes naturally.

     1. Joseph – that is beautiful. “This incessant striving for superiority is just a poor substitute for feeling our true power that comes naturally.” When I try to convince others or even help them see sense, I step out of the power I am. All I need to do is stay with me and reflect that power.

121. Agree Alison. I’ve experienced the same kind of obsessive focus on others. A sure fire way to keep myself well and truly distracted from what is going on in me. The judgment I have had for myself has been reflected back out towards others in an attempt to not have to feel.

122. “Letting go of the hurt, the need to be right, and stopping fighting and knowing and allowing who I truly am are the easiest ways to commit to life in full and experience this commitment from true JOY”. Love this, thank you Luz for reminding me it is never ever about wrong or right, at the end of the day it is always about truth – the ultimate choice we have to be love or not.

123. Underneath these exterior games and needing to be right you describe Luz lives a precious pearl, the truth of our living way. No matter what we do or say, there is no hiding whether we have nurtured ourselves, each and every day. This quality of care and connection, is ultimately what keeps us safe in this world.

124. Thank you Luz for being so honesty in your sharing, it was difficult for me to let go of being right, which was a fear and need for protection, as this is dropping away, I am able to allow things to be how they are much more, with less of the need to fix anything.

125. “What I haven’t truly considered with this pattern is that the very first person that I am affecting and attacking the most is myself: a very sensitive, caring, wise, and precious self that inhabits a human body that is tender and fragile”.
     Whilst pondering on what you have presented here Luz I am painfully aware that this applies to whatever hurt(s) we are carrying, thank you for this gorgeous reflection.

126. Wow what an easiness I can feel Luz when I consider the possibility that actually everything is already ‘right’ with the world. We each have our situations and experiences to learn from, but there is no rule we need live from. Phew! – the rule book of being ‘right’ is certainly a heavy weight to carry around.

127. Such a beautifully written blog Luz, I can relate to so much here. Thank-you.

128. “The ways I think things should be are not based on what is needed and what works for all. They are based on my personal interests and my FEARS.” In the past I’ve manipulated situations exactly for this reason – so as to feel safe and in control and it’s an exhausting way to live.

129. I had a bit of a lightbulb moment the other day when I realised that I was finding being with people actually quite a joy! I have been focussing on listening to others and feeling what they have to share first, different to a well laid pattern of needing others to hear what I have to share and that what I have to say is right. Low and behold, there is a real joyfulness when I am more open and letting love in. Way to go ‘me’!

130. “nowadays I am able to feel more and more often the JOY of not needing to be right, the true joy that accompanies a life that is lived when I take my hurt self out of the way, and when I allow the easiness and playfulness of my true self to manifest again.” This is true medicine Luz. Thank you for your open and beautiful sharing.

131. So I find myself reading this blog for the second time this week. This seems huge for me right now – the investment I make in being right is so closely linked to control and to fear of rejection.

     1. For me, it’s a lack of self worth giving rise to a need to prove myself over and over again.

132. Reading your words Luz I got a clear picture of how we become like vulture, scanning and analysing others and life, every moment waiting to swoop with a verdict. Wow what a full time job this judgement lark is. Contrast this with the beautiful warmth and love we can naturally feel in our body. When we live with this, we are already ‘right’ in ourselves, and so the world has permission to be, whatever it is free from critique and constant judgement.

     1. Yes when we are truly ‘right’ within we no longer feel like being ‘right’ out there 🙂

        1. Beautifully said kathrynfortuna.

133. I have realised that even ‘being assertive’ is another way to protect we protect ourselves from being hurt. I did some assertiveness training in my younger years. It bolstered me up to feel I could ‘have my say’, however I can see clearly there was no true confidence with it as it did not address the issues that supported my overall lack of self worth.

     1. Very interesting Jeanette, its funny how we have all these mechanisms to help us deal with life yet unless we truly go there and deal with what needs to be dealt with we are always just dancing on the surface.

134. When reading this blog Luz I can feel I have made progress. The sense of self righteousness that was one of my hallmark is fading away. The fury that engulfed me at times has also taken a back step and this is reflected in rarely having a 2-3 day migraine. Respecting and honouring my body, allowing myself to feel and trust the signals it never failed to send me but that I was too blind to recognise has made my life lighter, more expansive, more joyous. I am on a path to recovery and discovery.

     1. Reading your comment Patricia, I am now pondering on my usual pre-menstrul headache. It used to be quite bad, requiring some pain relief, now it’s so mild it’s barely noticeable. I put it down to too much mental stimulation over the month, and it being my body’s way of getting rid of it. But now I’m feeling to go into more detail in what kind of mental stimulation I have been living, and feel it could be the trait of needing to be right having been the cause of the headaches. And now appreciating I too have made progress on this front, not so much need anymore, and I feel enormously thankful to you Luz, for opening up the door for me to become more aware of what hinders and what helps me in life.

135. As we let go of the need to be right, we start to feel something quite amazing… And that is the need to control starts to drop away, and when this happens it has an amazing effect in our bodies

     1. So true, letting go like this allows us to observe what is happening around us without becoming involved in a way which will affect our state of being.

136. Great blog Luz. Its very interesting how quick we are to give up on the potential of our own lives to protect and hide behind our hurts when we should actually be giving up on fighting ourselves and our potential. By accepting there is always a deeper meaning to all our experiences and lives we come to understand that each and everyday can bring us quite profound and many loving lessons (albeit some very challenging) so we can develop and let go of our hurts and make space for more joy and love to come into our lives.

137. Dear Luz, I can relate to your fight to be right very much so. I always had a strong sense of justice and truth. And majority of my life I was this fighter.
     Slowly I came to the same realisation-why do I need to prove that I am right at any cost instead of just be love? What is more important – acceptance of another person or me being right again and lonely?
     I understood to some extent that it is all about my investment in humanity. It is rather my picture of ideal people in ideal world ( which is creation), not reality and not love.
     Your blog helps to look at it from different angles and your questions are awesome to answer with honesty.

138. Dealing with my hurts allows more space for love to come in and present new opportunities and other hurts that I have yet to accept or heal.

139. Luz your line ‘the real changes in this world occur by first changing me and the relationship I have with even the smallest and simplest of things’ this is what I am forever learning. I, first have to change to allow change on a larger scale to happen.

140. A profound great blog, Luz. I feel inspired by reading and love your conclusion: “My permanent focus is to not fight against anything, but to never, ever, give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life. I am not scared to stop, feel and return – no matter how far away I’ve gone, I can always come back. I now know that it is far easier to commit to something for LOVE, than it is because of vengeance, revenge, rebellion, or to make justice.”
     So great how you have written this and I can relate to today take all the energy former used to protect myself, to now commit to never, ever give up on myself again and building up a strong foundation to open up instead of a strong protection to shut down.

141. I have read this blog a few times Luz. It seems the very picture of me until not so long ago. I can report that the rage and fury I used to feel about what I perceived to be injustice done to me have mostly gone. My body is now far more grounded, more in touch with itself. I recognise the signs of turmoil when they appear and reconnect with myself. A few days ago a colleague of mine made a comment that was unwarranted. In the past I would have flared back, retaliating because of the hurt I felt. This time I smiled and moved on.

142. This is really beautiful and inspiring Luz, I can feel it in full how I have been trying to protect all my hurts with being right, and getting very upset about all kinds of situations. But I now start to feel that that is not needed and all I need to choose is love.

143. It feels completely different when I have no need to be right or to win that argument compared to when I do feel hooked to make sure the other person knows that I know, or whatever the need is. I feel an incredible freedom from life with this needlessness, a very deep knowing that who I am and where I come from is far more valuable than having someone know I am ‘right’.

144. Reading this again, and I was struck by your line “real changes in this world occur by first changing me and the relationship I have with even the smallest and simplest of things”. How simple is that in starting the process of change – no big idea needed just start small and let that grow. We can change the world, just bit by bit and starting with ourselves.

     1. Indeed very wise words, that real changes occur first by changing me and my relationships with even the smallest of things. When I put that into practice, my experience provides proof of that fact. The only thing needed then is patience.

     2. So true and it shows, that being dedicated to oneself with appreciation and love lets every “smallest and simplest of things” become “the all” as in the contrary when I am in my protection-modus, the smallest and simplest of things are just piling up to everything else to be defensed.

     3. Simon Williams you make it sound so nurturing and simple that it is achievable for all, which it is.

     4. So true Simon Williams. Every little thing counts. We do make a difference.

145. Yes Luz I too had an investment in anger and resentment. I feel now how it affected my body that was in constant turmoil. I don’t recall a day when I was not reading or hearing something that needed to be put right. I am on the way to recovery. I know this by the way my body feels so much lighter and because smiling has replaced frowning, most of the time.

146. Luz, your blog is true healing to me. It addresses all I have held onto not willing to let go of the hurt I once had experienced. By reading your blog again I could feel that there is a deep yearning for redemption or someone saying “sorry”. That the cause of the hurt would be dissolved by an apology. But there’s no one coming to do so. And digging deeper there is only I’ll get this relieve from: me. Because I once left being open and love. And feeling that, trying to understand doesn’t help. I only can accept this. That will be the end of a cycle in “needing to be right”.

147. I like to feel the spaces between my cells growing too annebroadbent58! This space has come about because the need to control is no longer and so that energy is sent packing, leaving a space that feels very precious and I long to look after.

148. Reading each of the comments here, I can feel how grateful so many people are to read this blog Luz. What you have learnt about yourself is helping people to see the same/similar behaviour in themselves, and where they might not have been able to put words to it or describe it, they now can; and with this new awareness, many light bulbs are going on, all over the world, as people decide hey no longer need to be right, and begin to address the stuff that has led them to that no-long-needed way. We have the possibility of a much more harmonious population, however minor it may seen, every little change counts.

149. Luz your blog is absolutely amazing. I allowed your words in ever so gently enjoying and celebrating every syllable. Very healing, thank you.

150. So true Alexander, our investment in creation runs deep but our liberation is in co-creation.

151. Great blog Luz! It is incredible how much energy we invest into fixing the world instead of realizing that what we are looking for and longing for lives inside of us and can be connected to at any time and will never be as perfectly materialized outside of us as we wish it to be, simply because human life was never set out for that.

152. Focusing on ‘fixing’ others to control the picture we hold onto to cover up our own ill choices is a big ouch! But what keeps that pain going is the arrogant stance and attempt at remaining ‘in the right’.
     Not needing to be right feels similar to not needing to be perfect – both are trying to uphold a picture of life as we have chosen to see it for the purpose of covering up the hurts we hold. Yes the moment may of happened to us but we are the ones holding onto it so why seek to control and blame others?

153. Letting go of being right, and just allowing others to be has worked for me too … whenever I feel myself going into righteous indignation I know I am off, and protecting myself in some way.

154. I sat still for a while after reading this Luz – what you share is very powerful and in so many ways could feel just how I’ve been living for many decades. The major one “feeling the need to be right”. I can still get caught out with this at times but am a ‘work in progress’. The lightness in my body when I can allow stillness, keeping things simple and as you share ‘letting things go there way’ this gives others the choice to just be all of who they are and live with their choices. The joy of the freedom to choose. I feel a return to this awesome blog soon.

155. Wow what you have written Luz resonates with me so deeply, I also have imposed my own expectations on others so reading your blog is so revealing of my own behaviour. I will definitely take on board what you have written.

156. Here here Steffihenn – I feel the same where by each and every paragraph holds keys to understanding and accepting life rather than the control and need that give an illusion that we are protecting ourselves from being hurt. We all get hurt, yet it is how we deal with them that is either Evolution or involution. Luz has given outstanding evidence that letting go of hurts leads to true Joy – deeply inspiring.

157. This is such a powerful and super honest blog that really calls those who are reading it to feel where they are at. Even while reading some very important lines my mind was thinking of other people in my life and how much they would benefit from reading this too… This is fine, as many people will benefit from reading these revelations, but I was taking the focus off myself and holding onto a need for other people to change while reading. Clocked it though, which is cool!

158. Annelie, your comment just touched a part of me I feel could use a little tenderness and love. I too love people and feel more committed now to stay with myself and not withdraw.

159. ‘The assertiveness and efficiency I have achieved doesn’t come from a place of true service, it comes from a way of being that is driven and righteous. Ways I have created to compensate for my lack of self-worth’. Thanks Luz for sharing this line, it gave me an ouch moment and realisation of how I move sometimes.

     1. Ditto – I can get into this mode where things are super functional and efficient and I think “I’m going really well”. But all too often I’ve forgotten the vital ingredients, like connecting with people, and making sure there is space to feel what is going on (rather than just doing what needs to be done).

160. Luz, what a joy it must be to be in your company now you are letting go of being right. There is a beautiful commitment to life and love that I felt while reading your blog, one that has found the beauty and joy we feel when we let go of hurts and allow others just to be.

161. Wow Luz – what if everything we are doing is attempting to fill the void where our love for us should live? There’s a sense of great relief in what you write, to no longer have to strive to be anything other that this precious you, in all of life. When we live like this, it’s like we (as you literally did) open the door to true joy.

162. Luz thank you for such an honest sharing, indeed we choose to control situations and others as a form of protection from our own hurts but we can change all that by simply committing to being more present in our bodies in each moment and being the love that we are.

163. Before Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had a foundation made of beliefs and ideals that I thought were right and true. Everything and everyone was measured up against these and a judgement was made. The narrowness of my world and the arrogance with which I lived excluded love, joy, harmony and stillness, all the things I was seeking. Today awareness has opened me up to the magic of God and that there is so much on offer, all I need to do is allow, trust, appreciate and accept everyone and everything around me. No more judgement, only loving acceptance and appreciation. Thanks Luz for your honesty and sharing.

164. Thank you, Luz Helena. I recognise and can really feel how this pattern of behaviour is harmful. I was on the phone to my bank yesterday making an enquiry and I could feel how I was setting myself up to react with frustration and anger, and how I would judge and give up on them. It felt awful. I had just read another one of your amazing blogs on this subject earlier yesterday and I found myself yet again in the same pattern and being shown the depth of harm I was inflicting on myself and others. I take this as an opportunity to give it a proper look and healing, and your sharing would be a great support in this process. Thank you.

165. Your honesty and willingness to change, to let go of your hurts and embrace the love and joy that you are, is inspiring. Thank you, Luz.

     1. Agree Carmin. Much to learn and be inspired by here.

166. Luz I love your honesty it is truly inspiring. And through your honesty the truth you have shared is very powerful. Being honest and taking responsibility for ourselves and how we feel is the first step to building loving relationships with ourselves and others. Focusing on what others are doing is a great way to numb and avoid feeling what in truth is going on within ourselves and the hurts we are actually holding on to, I can relate to have done this also. When we choose to heal and let go of our hurts we allow our love to emerge again. As in truth the power of our love ‘within has not been corrupted or hurt, it has stayed always radiant, FULL and beautiful.’ – beautifully said Luz and I whole-heartedly agree.

167. Luz this is a really great and supportive blog which I’ll visit again. I’m realising how debilitating this need to being right is and how its had its hold on living the true me. Thank you for sharing with us all.

168. Joyful Luz as I read your honest blog I started to understand more why people like you wanted always to be right. It helped me not to react in the same way I did and that is gold for me. I also started to understand myself more why I was reacting and with that understanding I am more aware and can chose to let people be where they are as well.

169. A lovely reminder that the beauty is found in the simple details of life, with consistent quality and no push for perfection.

     1. Kelly, thats a beautiful line.

170. This is a great reminder Leigh for me; ‘ if I feel uncomfortable, it is because I have let others ways of being affect me’. I recognise this old pattern of mine created so much complication….. ‘Staying true to me is my focus at present’. Is my focus too, thank you Leigh.

171. Oh those hurts we cling onto and don’t want to let go of, why? Well for me, I held so long onto my hurts, that was who I became, that was all I knew, and also my deepest hurts got buried very deep, that I had lost all awareness that my old and deep hurts were affecting me in every way possible……Having dealt with these old hurts, I have observed how my expression has changed, how there is more space for the true me to express. This is still a work in progress, but as I have changed, all my relationships have significantly improved.

172. A gorgeous sharing Luz, it feels awesome when we can express freely without any attachment to another ‘getting it’ or playing the ‘I am right’ card. The reflection we offer another when we are being true is so power-full, we inspire and support others to also make different choices in their own time. This allows me to experience more joy in my life as well by not being attached to another getting it or needing acceptance from them, so long as I am accepting of me everything else falls into place in a beautiful way.

173. Thank you Luz, what an awesome post!
     ‘I haven’t given any value to keeping things simple, staying still and letting things go their way, while I express my gentle, sensitive, considerate, and present self.’ This line really stood out for me, as I too have avoided simply allowing people to be where they are at, and have often tried to force them into a space that suits me. I can see how capping and selfish that is of me, and also the harm that creates not only for the other person but also for me.

174. Thank you Leighstrack, I got a lot from your comment. How cool: “Of late I can feel, deeply that if I feel uncomfortable, it is because I have let others ways of being affect me. Staying true to me is my focus at present.”
     Engaging in “who is right” feels very uncomfortable for me now. It is an alchemy to learn to express my truth in a situation without slipping into the “being right” and what you say is very supportive for this matter:
     “Everything that is needed for us to evolve is right with us all of the time.” Then why interfere, go into fight mode, defend and prove we are right. A waste of energy and a retarding choice. Thank you.

     1. Thank you for sharing this Luz. Learning to express my truth without falling into being right or even having a want for another to acknowledge what I am saying is also on my watch list. When I do simply say what I want to say, with out any need for brownie points, it is really the most freeing experience.

175. I too have invested in being ‘right.’ I did this by developing a relationship with rules. If you know the rules better than anyone else, technically you will always be right. But will you? I have learnt that it is important to be aware of the rules within a system so that you know the parameters in which you can work and how to dot the i’s and cross the t’s that you need to to meet the requirements of systems within the world. However being ruled by the rules doesn’t allow any space for you and others to truly meet your potential within the system.

     Aside from this, being devoted to the rules in this way was completely self serving for me. If I was constantly being confirmed for being ‘right’ I didn’t need to feel or address my own lack of confidence.

     Now I have a good working knowledge and respect for the rules but no longer trot them out in order to be ‘right.’

176. Luz, a really great blog, I love the part where you say its ok to feel the sadness that gets brought up on occasions and not push it down. For myself when I feel the sadness it makes me realise how far away I have allowed myself to get from who I truly am, and that is a great reminder to be myself, and not worry about the past but know there is an amazing future.

177. This is a great blog I have realised how insidious the need to be right is and in how many corners of my life it manifests. I have come to a new awareness that i hold back how I am feeling in case I am wrong and to stop people seeing me when i feel like I am less than perfect I get support but in very private settings this means that there is an inconsistency in how I am with people.

178. Thank you Luz for sharing your next instalment on being right The true Joy of not needing to be right. and I can relate to the fact that life is more Joyful and loving if we just allow others to be where they;re at . A truly inspirational Blog.

179. Luz, I also asked myself this question lately: “Wouldn’t it be magical and awesome to let my deep hurt go and be myself again? Can I let go of whatever happened to me?”
     I found out that I created the pattern of feeling and behaving small in order to not trigger other persons jealousy or anger. But in trying to protect me with this pattern I hurt myself. So to let go of the hurt requires to establish a new pattern, a pattern of responsibility and self worth.

     1. And to be aware we are always expressing who we are or the other side who we are not, our hurts. The quality in which we express is not only when we speak but in all our choices all of the time. As you say Kerstin this is where the new pattern of responsibility and self worth come in, what and how am I communicating, is it me?

180. Thank you Luz, I once found the injustices going on in this world very depressing, so I chose to put on rose coloured glasses so to speak. But then I didn’t know I had within me a deep love, and a responsibility to live this love every moment as best as I can, to bring this, to the world as a true reflection, of what lives in the heart of every being.

181. There is much to reflect on here Luz. I found myself falling in and out of concentration while reading this….and I know why! So much of what you shared in the first half of your story resonated with me, and so much of it I didn’t want to admit to being the same way. I have had a very strong need to be right, and a need to prove myself. I know it comes from a deep hurt of rejection, of myself first, and then rejection from others, but only followed on from the former. There is a lot to work with here, and I’m committed, however hard it is in the beginning to start letting go of those needs, it’s a necessary gateway to freedom from own shackles.

182. The need to be right also at times was about being in competition or trying to persuade someone. If I know that what I say is true there is no need to prove it. I can just express it without a need of the other person acknowledging or confirming it.

     1. You describe this so beautiful Sandra. This is a way of communicating that is honoring to ourselves and the other and it is something we all can choose.

     2. We are continuously trying to prove we are better or just as good as someone else. You are right coleen24 it feels so strange this and all the other games we play with each other. Trapped in a mouse wheel, forever going in circles as long as we are not willing to feel why we behave in such a self destructing way so we can surrender to our natural self and feel how precious we are underneath it all.

     3. I know what you mean. At those moments there is a deep silence other than the true words being spoken. Pretty amazing when we all communicate in this way 🙂

183. Wow, there are so many things in this blog that I can relate to, I absolutely love it. The need to change things pops up so often, whether it is people or situations. It used to be my daily job to be honest but that has changed. It is still there, for sure, at times very subtle, at times less subtle, but I am aware of it. And yes, it feels very joyful and freeing to let go of this need, knowing that everything is what it is and that I don’t have to change anything. I can just focus on me and that is already a hand full ( :

184. There is much I can relate to in this blog. ‘The way I think things should be are not based on what is needed or works for all’. I often have the habit to know what is right for a person and/or situation. The comment pops up easily and is often expressed by me. By reading your blog it shows me that it is just my perspective, belief and therefore judgement that I know how it should be. It is clearly not observing anymore, just a narrow view of me and therefore a small version of me, me expressing from an old hurt. What if I were to observe and allow more what is? At least not pretend I know what is best or right for others? I have experienced this is not only more relaxing for the body, but also creates more space to feel more of what is occurring without the need to change anybody and anything.

185. So much wisdom in your comment here Adam. It’s like there are parallel worlds fighting each other on planet Earth, that which is full of injustice, suffering and hurt and that which is full of light, joyfulness, solidarity and acceptance. We see these two worlds fighting it out in movies all the time and we always hope light triumphs over darkness. But what if the answer to the fight wasn’t to keep fighting one another, but to stop and give no power, no focus to the darkness; what if we stopped feeding the injustice with frustration and indignities and the need to be right over it and instead looked inwards to ourselves, to see how every single one of us is fueling the fire that we are so desperately wanting to put out? What if indeed the fight ended because we stopped blaming others and all dealt with our own stuff?

     1. ‘What if indeed the fight ended because we stopped blaming others and all dealt with our own stuff?’ Yes Suzanne I can feel how in the past I have fuelled the fire to avoid dealing with my own stuff and how awesome it would be if we all put the focus on ourselves rather than the darkness. Here’s to being a beacon of light in the darkness until the beacons increase and the darkness fades into obscurity.

186. Absolutely Diana. We focus on others shortcomings and weaknesses not just to not feel our hurts and where we are at, but not take responsability for our part in the situation…How did we express? What way did we request something? We might have not been clear and open, might have not even bothered to have a feeling for and connect to the person we now are judging or criticising. So in order to not feel this lack of love in ourselves, our self-centredness and ambiguous way of communicating, we prefer to focus on what went wrong and the part of the other, instead of being more humble and honest. But this is challenging if we are all immersed in our spiritual pride. Good to nominate.

187. wow, have I lived the story above… YES.
     to be right has been the ultimate guard it can almost deflect any assault, thus why so many people use it.

     But in the end it is just as weak as a person who doesn’t know right from wrong as they are just as effected by the world. The only difference is the ‘right person’ can justify themselves and keep the pretending sustained for longer.

188. I know what you are saying here Ingrid and have also chosen that change. It is such a relief to not be needing to be right and just allow what is there be whatever it is. No longer trying to be perfect or ‘knowing it all’. A great blog by Luz.

189. With needing to be right comes so much anger, but before this is expressed towards others, it is already expressed towards myself. My body hardens, I feel week and disconnected – the perfect way of hiding my true power. Why would I hide? Because I don’t want to feel the tension that otherwise is there, when I shine my full light, and people around me don’t do the same. False trick. When I do shine, the tension that was inside of me before, would then be outside of me, just there to be observed – much better, isn’t it?

190. “Would it be worth detaching from others’ way of being and behaviour? Can I just simply observe and lovingly understand what is at play in others’ reactions without reacting myself and wanting things to be different? What would I miss by letting others be in their truth and allow situations to unfold in their own way and time”?
     I was particularly struck and inspired by what you have written here Luz, very wise words indeed; thank you.

     1. Agree Shirl. When we take a step back and look at the investment we have in being right, what do we actually gain from that? What could be better than accepting another where they are at? The possibility of then no longer being affected by others actions becomes very real. What freedom.

     2. They are very wise words Shirl, I have to make a point of coming back to this blog regularly as it has so much to offer me

191. I love the honesty here describing what we all do as human beings in one way or another. For me it’s a big change bringing it back to self after many years of being involved in others’ lives. It’s a big time filler to avoid the pains I have carried inside. Learning to let people be and take responsibility for my own reactions is quite eye opening.

192. Making mistakes is so natural, and can be fun , and bring light and levity to situations. Allowing this and letting go of the ‘need to be right’ is indeed liberating.

193. And could I suggest, that there is no true justice, it is an ideal or belief that we have created in our mind, and it hasn’t worked to bring any harmony to humanity.
     “I am such a precious being, why allow that harshness in my body and in my life?” This question or way of being does not require any force, push or effort, and brings true harmony to our life.

194. this bit really struck me “My permanent focus is to not fight against anything, but to never, ever, give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life. ” it is a great challenge. To not react and attack but equally to not give up.

195. “The JOY of not needing to be right”, what an amazing relief that is. It opens up so much space to let love blossom instead of blocking all our views with struggling to be right.

196. Having to be perfect, or getting everything right, is one of the major factors that stop people coming back to their own beautiful singing voices, the fear that a mistake may be made cripples people. Being able to make mistakes and not have it affect us is amazingly liberating.

197. Yes sjmatsonuk, being right has a lot of control inherent in it and it takes a lot of energy to sustain or defend. Being true is just a state of being, aligned to truth, with no attachment or control required.

198. I have felt the same Julie, understanding that so much of the hurt I held in my body was because of a wish for others to be a certain way.. now I can let go and allow them the freedom to make the choices they want to even if it brings misery and isolation .. Not wishing things to be a certain way, and honouring their space and free will means that I can remain unaffected. Then hurt no longer arises and I am also free to express more of me and what I truly feel, and not in a reaction to any pain or hurt. It is enormously freeing.

199. Your use of the phrase ‘broken sense of justice’, I find to be very profound. When we come from our hurts, if we don’t truly deal with the root cause, any resolution we seek will be a version of justice that is broken and without the return to love.

     1. I loved that phrase too Jinya but love the point you make here.

200. What you wrote about opening the door Luz felt very beautiful to read. In your sharing here I feel you’ve opened up the way for many others like me, to let go of hurts and return to cherishing the preciousness that we are.

201. This is a very powerful blog with several important ‘messages’. The one which now stands out for me is what you write: The obsessive focus on the weaknesses of others and wanting to be right. I used to be like that very much and was very good at that. Through your blog I realize it all had to do with this deep hurt inside of me. I just didn’t want to feel me and what I was condemning in me. It was all about my lack of self worth. I was not able to appreciate myself, so I had no genuine eye to do that to others. As I am very appreciative now to myself ánd others, it shows I have grown to love me more. Great insight.

202. There is such truth in this article as the harm of holding onto hurts is so simple and clearly expressed.

203. Absolutely sjmatsonuk being right and being true are not the same thing. Being right has a competitive, self interested, self preservation angle to it, where as being true or honouring the truth we feel includes and supports everyone, including ourselves and is not adversarial. It will never leave anyone less than another. I can also feel the hardening, bracing, charging and ‘battlecry’ that goes with crusade of being right and fighting injustice as opposed to the tenderness, gentleness and grace of always honouring the truth and allowing things to unfold as they will.

204. Good point Monicag2 that staying with the truth no matter how uncomfortable feels like a great way to overcome the righteousness and the protective hardness we put up against the world.

205. wow super blog about a huge topic and one I can definitely relate to. I have always felt a drive to be right fed from a fear that if I did not fight to be right I would be crushed by the world. Spiritual pride is an important thing to identify and overcome if we are to find our way back to the delicate, sensitive, loving beings that we are underneath all the hardness, arrogance and ignorance.

206. So true Francisco. It has been stunning for me to discover how far I had drifted away from living who I truly am. Experiencing that only me could change this by making more loving choices and honoring my feelings, I realized how simple everything in fact is: I just need to face my hurts and lovingly heal them, then step by step I will be able to find myself again underneath the layers of protection I had build before.

207. Simply allowing ourselves to be… I used to come up with so many complications, intertwined entanglements of complex mental juggling… That would bemuse and confuse me… But all the time there was this total support from the words ‘ just be who you are, be love,’ And this can seem such a trite statement, until the livingness of this awareness starts to be real. And then all the mental juggling can just be seen for what it is, pointless interplay on mental plane, which serves no one and nothing.

208. Inspiring Luz, thank you for sharing. Commitment to LOVE – a commitment for LIFE!

209. ‘I prefer to carry on numbing myself and indulging in the ill patterns, rather than having to stop, feel and be responsible for the separation I’ve allowed and fed’.
     This part is a big ouch for sure, yet the hurt will only fester and rule the roost for as long as we avoid feeling it.

210. Thank you Luz. This has uncovered much about a few situations I have created with my partner recently. The need to be right and have other people be a certain way so I feel OK is something I have been aware of but confused in how to understand it. I am a naturally joyful person and look forward to experiencing this more with the people I love through letting them simply be where they are at.

211. As so many also relate to the need to be right was very strong in me, mostly for the fear of what would people think if I was wrong. In that constant tension I would live each day – yet also giving no space to understand that I am a student always learning and so by needing to be right I delay my own learning and evolution. It’s so much simpler the more I let go of being right, or fear being wrong and instead build a true love in my body.

212. I can relate to this so well as I, too, have needed to be ‘right’. You bring a great insight, Luz, into why you, I and so many people have the need to be ‘right’ and the harm and damage we do to ourselves and others. What I had not considered before was that having the obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses was a way of focusing outside of myself to protect myself from feeling my hurts and taking responsibility for them. As you say – OUCH!

213. I always needed to be right, and my stubbornness around this got me into a lot of difficulty. Arrogance really. It was a way to try and control life, which it didn’t. Thankfully, this is rarely a part of my daily life now and reading your blog Luz, I can feel a further dropping away of the need for control and just allowing which is incredibly freeing.

214. What an honest and humble blog Luz with an important message for all. Allowing ourselves to feel our hurts makes way for dropping our arrogant need to be right and control the world and for us to be more accepting of ourselves, others and the way things are.

215. What an amazing blog. I can relate to most of what has been shared. I too don’t want to fight and react anymore. To be with that stillness, to not judge, having to be right and to stop protecting the hurts. This latter point is the big one for me – letting go of the hurts. Thank you so much for this supportive sharing. 🙂

216. I have realised by not dealing with an original hurt I set myself up to react to anything that I may relate to that hurt and so I am just confirming to no longer trust. To feel that original hurt can be challenging but with a willingness to let go of this defence and have a true understanding of the situation where the other person is coming from, it isn’t as bad as how I reacted to it. It is like a light being switched on, I can truly understand and see and with that an amazing feeling of a weight being taken off and a lightness and freedom within me.

217. Thank you Luz, I really enjoyed reading your blog and how I resonated with what you said. The battle is often with ourselves as we fight so hard to be right and while doing so keep people out. When we do start to let people in there is no inner fight just a joy as we experience the equalness with another.

218. I loved reading this – and how choices change so much. Your commitment to yourself now is rich with love and appreciation of who you really are.

219. This is a great article to totally see how harmful it is for me and everyone when needing to be right. I particularly love this part: “I am such a precious being, why allow that harshness in my body and in my life?”. Truly inspiring.

     1. This ‘being right’ has been for me a feeling that I always had to prove it. I didn’t have confidence in my own words. But I don’t have to prove anything now, and if I am ‘wrong’ thats ok, another ‘oops’ lesson laerned

220. In a similar respect I have found that my need to be right stems from the need to have control and this latter need always comes out of protecting myself from being wrong i.e. getting hurt. Why do we equate being wrong to being hurt? Because we have been rewarded by recognition and acceptance for being right and we have interpreted that to be love. It’s sad when we have many amazing people in the world using their talents and knowledge for self-protection rather than for a communal purpose.

     1. Ahhh! Well said Jinya, thank you for expressing it so clearly. You have revealed something huge, that was missing for me to understand. Lovely!… and so true

        1. Needing to be right causes damage to ourselves but I have also seen much damage being caused by something even simpler: The person who needs to be right is actually wrong and chooses to be unaware of it. This causes a lot of trouble.

     2. I take much from your comment too Jinya. The equation of why, what, when and how we end up needing to be right. This fits with me so clearly and allows me to understand myself more and therefore choose differently.

     3. ‘It’s sad when we have many amazing people in the world using their talents and knowledge for self-protection rather than for a communal purpose’.
        This makes perfect sense Jinya and feels so limiting to us all. Imagine a world where no one stands guarded in protection and lives from the Joy in their hearts!

     4. Yes Jinya what you share makes so much sense. I would use my creative talents for recognition and acceptance as a means of obtaining love. That was a huge “Ouch,” moment for me but I now see that what I truly wanted was for others to see me for who I was within. The amount of pressure that you release from this is huge because you can simply just be in the world without having to do something for it. Awesome thank you.

     5. Spot on Jinya. Recognition has become such a cheap substitution of love that it is falsely guarded and protected all in an effort to not feel our own choices. So very twisted.

     6. Thank you Jinya for bringing this deeper understanding to what it is that we were trying to get from it, a substitute for love.

221. I have felt so much hardness in my body, such rage or fury, for what I felt, was the world letting me down…”Letting go of the hurt, the need to be right, and stopping fighting and knowing and allowing who I truly am are the easiest ways to commit to life in full and experience this commitment from true JOY.” Letting go of the hurt has also been my only way of feeling truth, joy and understanding for others. Both of which I am still learning and I will sometimes go into that again… but it is now not the majority of how I live, something else is there that supports me and results in me sharing joy and more understanding with others also.

222. Wow Luz. I love this blog. I’m going yep, yep, me too, mmm hmmmm. I will read this one often, I am working on this too. There is this need to fix and make everything the way I see it… because clearly that is the only way right? No. It has to stop, I love how you have talked about true joy in being able to just allow others the space to be, and get to their own realisations. Love is the most powerful way of being with another, it is for me to really learn about understanding.. and change my body when the need to fight for my way arrises.

223. Hello Luz, I really enjoyed reading your blog it carries so much wisdom. One point that really stood out for me was not having relationships tainted by judgement or hurt, this is something that I would like to master.

224. Luz, that was a blessing to read. Your openness with yourself is commendable. I got so much out of your sharing, Thank you.

225. A magical blog, thankyou very much for writing it. I could come back everyday and read this. ” This part within has not been corrupted or hurt, it has stayed always radiant and FULL” how beautiful, and true. And I also feel the damage that occurs to us and others when we hold onto situations that hurt us, and express from that hurt it just makes things worse.

226. When I read the title of the blog I could feel my body relax at the idea. Then I read the opening sentence and I cringed as it is so me! You’ve really nailed something here for me Luz. The description you gave of when you opened the door to the person you had been having a hard time with was so powerful for me. You’ve really highlighted the hardness in my body, what’s behind the investments I have in things being a certain way, and how the hurts are impacting my interactions with others. Fantastic blog Luz – I will be marking this one to come back and read again.

     1. Yes it was so lovely to read how opening the door in a different way can have such a powerful impact on the resulting interaction. It has inspired me to a deeper level of letting go and being willing to look at the investments I have made in being right and how detrimental they have been.

227. I agree Andrew reading this right at this point in time was perfect timing for me too.

228. Letting go of the need to be right, this line got me thinking about how I can say out loud that it is not about being right etc, but underneath am I programmed to wanting to be right? Has my body fully accepted that no one is right or no one is wrong? Have I accepted that am here to live a true life which supersedes any arguments about right or wrong.

     1. Yor comment gives me food to ponder on, sallyscott888. Have I been ‘programmed to wanting to be right’? I think it’s a yes as situations come up endlessly where I am shown that there is a better way to doing things and my way isn’t necessarily it. The emotions I have when this happens are awful, there is such a powerful force telling me to say, “Yes, I am right, it is You who is wrong”. My inner wisdom though tells me that right and wrong is not True. So if truth is what I am wanting, then needing to be right is only ever going to get in the way.

229. What an excellent article… at the heart of which is simply self responsibility, and herin lies so much that is amiss with the world. Luz has taken responsibility and started to not blame others, and this really is one of the trickiest things to do, and from my experience this blaming can be buried so deeply within us, that it is really only a conscious connection with oneself that allows the old hurts to be truly healed, and this is what the world needs now.

230. Awesome blog Luz, I loved all of it and felt myself deepening in my connection with my inner self; what a beautiful gift, thank you.

231. Luz – this is such a powerful piece of writing that stops me in my tracks as it describes so clearly and honestly what stops us from living a truly joyful life. Definitely one to be revisited and pondered on. This blog offers great healing to those (including myself) who take the time to stop and consider what has been shared. And yes, you are such a precious being which can be deeply felt in the way you have expressed yourself.

232. “JOY is allowing others to feel all the love that they are in their greatest moments, and to give them the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at”.
     Thank you for your beautiful sharing Luz.

233. I really love your beautiful blog Luz, you’ve hit the nail right on the head for me and I so relate to it.

234. I really enjoyed reading this article. Thank you Luz. The moment I go into trying to be right is the moment that my body changes and it feels awful. Trying to prove how right we are simply does not work.

235. Thanks Luz for your gorgeous article which I can very much relate to. It is very easy to look at fault in others as a mean of protection and in this there is a hiding from not having to look at my own hurts. Deep healing occurs when we simply allow another to be themselves, without wanting to change them, without needing them to be any different, without having to be right.

     1. Oooh I have forever hidden in finding fault with others as a means of hiding and not letting people get close to me. It feels very cleansing and cathartic to expose this behaviour and move on from it because it is simply not needed anymore.

236. Rereading your blog it resonates even more deeply in me. In fact it touches me very much. So spot on, honest and loving. I definitely come back again, because all these patterns you describe are patterns I am working on and reading this is a great inspiration!

237. Thank you Luz for a honest expose of what the ‘need to be right’ is covering up. Ouch.

238. WOW… That one just hit me! Thank you for your openness, your honesty and your expression. It’s the first time ever I marked a page on my reading list – to be able to find it again. I can sense I’ll have to read it again. Turning all the power I’ve invested in the outside simply into detaching, staying open and letting myself and others be. Very, very beautiful!

239. Ah the need to be right, I remember it well! I can relate to how hard life is when we feel the need to be right. Once I let go of needing to be right (that is needing people to agree with me) life and relationships became far easier and more honest.

     1. So true Penny. I am still working on letting go of any need for people to agree and to understand me. What an absolute drain it is and it only becomes a war of words and tension.

     2. I can feel how that need for people to agree with me is so controlling and imposing and allows no space or joy. I can feel the shift of what is possible and the potential flow when I step out of this.

240. Reading this blog at this point in my life has been very supportive, I couldn’t help but cry at how apt and relatable it is. What this blog confirms to me is that there is no need to focus on the trying, or fighting or avoiding feeling the hurts and damage of our own choices. That within us is everything we need to heal those hurts and that there is a hurt part of us that doesn’t want to let go of the fact that it hurt itself and harms others in the process of covering up its irresponsibility. But even that can be healed, it just takes time and a change of focus away from the hurts and back to what is and has been all along beneath the pain – the love and a feeling of warmth that is naturally us. Thank you Luz.

     1. Such a deeply touching comment Leigh – and a deep wisdom you are here bringing to the world, “…it just takes time and a change of focus away from the hurts and back to what is and has been all along beneath the pain – the love and a feeling of warmth that is naturally us.”

     2. Well said leighmatson, it was a great reminder for me too, and so lovingly shared, as your comment is too. Thank you. We can choose to take the focus away from our perceived hurts and letting go of the identification they bring – and simply connect back to the love and stillness we are inside of us – it’s just always there, waiting for us to re-connect to. Once we do, life starts to flow again, and as Luz said, it’s the best way to commit to love, to ourselves and to living a full life.

241. Wow, this is the second time reading this blog and each time I am filled with Joy! Needing to be right can be disguised in so many ways, I’m learning that these behaviours are just protection and as you so clearly express “the very first person that I am affecting and attacking the most is myself: a very sensitive, caring, wise, and precious self that inhabits a human body that is tender and fragile”. Keep sharing your amazingness Luz you are truly inspiring.

242. “Letting go of the hurt, the need to be right, and stopping fighting and knowing and allowing who I truly am are the easiest ways to commit to life in full and experience this commitment from true JOY”.
     These are vey inspiring words Luz, thank you.

243. Wow! Thank you Luz. I could relate to this totally. And what I’m telling myself now is ‘I’m just out of practice so practice practice practice :).

244. “I am such a precious being, why allow that harshness in my body and in my life? I can stay with me, while I let others be in their truth; this is the JOY I have lost a long time ago, that I have translated into an empty search for happiness and the need to impose my broken sense of justice.” This is such a powerful statement – I also was searching for joy and found it in a true commitment to living love.

245. Thank you Luz for your honesty I loved this article. This stood out for me ‘I am not scared to stop, feel and return – no matter how far away I have gone, I can always come back’.

246. This is revelatory writing Luz, thank you for sharing. To commit to life in full is most certainly the greatest love of all.

247. Wow … Really awesome blog Liz. So powerful, strong and true. Thank you.

248. Funny how if we all need to be right we would never have any harmony or unification. Well presented Luz. I reckon it is crucial that we all learn to let go of needing to be right so we can be in the joy of being in life in full.

     1. What you share is so true Josh. The need to always be right reduces our capacity for understanding which is the true foundations of harmony and unification.

        1. It’s just a trick and a choice as we can learn from every situation instead of critiquing it with right or wrong

249. So needed to read this again, love this “the true joy that accompanies a life that is lived when I take my hurt self out of the way, and when I allow the easiness and playfulness of my true self to manifest again” yes the letting go of the hurt self is a very necessary step to be able to allow what really lies beneath to get a chance to shine.

250. I am sure many can relate to what you have expressed here in your writing.

     You write with such honesty ‘This obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses is a way that I use to numb myself from my own deep hurt and the pain that it would cause me to really feel how far I walked away from my natural way of being’ this is very healing what you have written.

     Also this is a great one to see especially after all the defensiveness, blame and anger to the world that we can live with ‘What I haven’t truly considered with this pattern is that the very first person that I am affecting and attacking the most is myself: a very sensitive, caring, wise, and precious self that inhabits a human body that is tender and fragile.’

     Thank you.

251. I can relate to holding on and wanting to be right and how this effects your stomach and other areas of the body. This is something I am also working with at the moment, so I am pleased that I found your blog. Thank you Luz.

252. Luz thank you for your very inspiring article. Allowing others to be in their truth and letting go of being right, thus being more accepting is something I am working on as well.

253. Just in writing a comment here I can feel how there is an idea that there is something ‘right’ to say. This need is so all pervasive and makes me think of our culture of exams and ‘correct answers’. This blog makes me appreciate further Luz how powerful it is to be right with ourselves, and free from needing to be anything else.

     1. well said Joseph!

254. Its feels great to read your description of yourself as this “very sensitive, caring, wise, and precious being”. This blog and everything your write just goes to show in this you are so right. I love how in opening the door that day you literally opened the door to being a different way. I am glad Luz that you chose to write here about this crazy need to be right.

255. After reading this blog, it’s very clear and easy to say that not choosing JOY and choosing Blame and Victim just does not seem worth it at all.

256. Thank you Luz, for your powerful blog. Sometimes it is easier(?) to not let go, but the body lets me know that is is not easy: it is hard and shows up as hardness and pain in my body. I know I have gone way too far in making myself ‘right’, then, it is as you say, simply observe, feel, let go and return.

257. Luz your story is one I could revisit more than once, I feel there is a lot for me to process reading this. “Deep inside my heart” what beautiful words thank you for sharing.

258. Luz I can feel your love and deep dedication to truth in this article. The mind can be so strong and cunning to hold us trapped, but it is our body which is telling us the truth and when we start to listen to it it can lead us into a joyful life.

259. Just reading this blog, I can feel what a passionate person and powerhouse you are Luz! In arresting the push and need to be ‘right’ as you are so openly and candidly doing, the true power you hold, that seeks not to assert itself over others, actually feels to deepen.
     As you have written, “My permanent focus is to not fight against anything, but to never, ever, give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life.” The power of someone’s presence, holding oneself in this way, speaks of power that is true to me – with full awareness of what is going on around and within you, and no need to compromise, the ‘fight’ against the world let go…
     Thank-you for a deeply inspiring blog, one I can relate to in so many ways… how ‘cleverly’ the mind can so readily justify being ‘right’, and create a barrier to true communication, understanding and acceptance, both of ourselves and others.

     1. I agree victoria, I found that line “My permanent focus is to not fight against anything, but to never, ever give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life” is very powerful

        1. Yes harryjwhite. We can only but meet every situation in our lives to the best of our ability, can’t we… there may always be learning experiences, times where we don’t necessarily ‘get it right’, and yet what Luz has brought here, really says to me about how potent it is to not withdraw, and rather, bring our all – again, without perfection or the expectation of such! – to everything.
           It is only in this way that we can truly grow, and come to know ourselves intimately and deeply.

260. A brilliant blog Luz. So awesome to read and I am truly inspired. I am in the process of claiming my joyfulness and what you have shared is pure gold. I have been holding my joy back, kept it safe and out of reach from myself and others. I have experience so much sadness from realising this and now I can learning how to bring out my joyfulness and share with the world. It is insane how I have craved for it all my life but kept is locked away and searching for it elsewhere when it was living inside me all this time. I have allowed my hurts and pain to blind me and keep myself small. Now, choosing to claim the joy and the amazingness within me is a work in progress and the journey feels very empowering.

     1. I love how you write you have been ‘holding your joy back’ chaly88. Whenever I truly feel myself to be joyful, it’s a feeling I never want to lose! Giving others space and time to have their own way of communicating can leave me feeling that joy 🙂

261. Fantastic blog Luz, what stood out for me most was this line “I can stay with me, while I let others be in their truth; this is the JOY I have lost a long time ago, that I have translated into an empty search for happiness and the need to impose my broken sense of justice”. Allowing others to be in their truth is something I am still learning, but I feel makes so much sense as it is accepting both others and ourselves for who we are, rather than trying to fight to be right.

262. Luz it is beautiful to see you shedding the hardness and sadness, the need to rectify injustices done to you and embracing yourself instead. I am on the same journey, thank you.

263. It’s amazing what we will do to protect our hurts. I can really feel when and how I’ve used ‘being right’ and focusing on others weaknesses to keep me from feeling the pain that was there. Back when I used to run, I used ‘being better’ as a way to keep myself from feeling my lack of connection with myself… it feels the same as what you have expressed in this blog, thank you Luz.

     1. It is a good point Brooke there are so many things such as running that we used as a way of keeping ourselves from connecting to what we feel within

264. Luz thank you for your honesty and awareness.

     Letting go of being ‘right’ and all the hurts and then committing to love….

     Now there is a beautiful recipe for life ✨

265. Wow, what a workout you have given me! Perfect timing, thanks for sharing this all so clearly Luz. I’ve had investments in others in getting them to a certain outcome, all wrapped up in “helping” instead of just accepting the person and letting them be exactly where they are. This kind of “helping” is really just superiority and interfering. It’s so easy to focus on others as a way to not feel what I need to. It’s beautiful how you write about commitment being allowing ourselves to be who we truly are, and letting go of all the other stuff. Keep writing Luz, your honestly and clarity is really supportive. Bookmarked to re-read!

     1. Wow, I agree with you Melinda. Investments in others – helping instead of accepting and commitment – allowing ourselves to be who we truly are
        great issues to deal with. Yes Luz, keep writing.

266. Have to admit I found this a little hard to read as it reminds me so much of how I can still hold myself in that harshness and not wanting to feel how precious I am and we all are…
     It was great to read.

267. Wow Luz you have really opened up here. Yes, we all have hurts and through them we can justify all sorts of behaviour. I find it is truly miraculous to feel my hurt come up, recognize it does not belong to me and let it go. All of a sudden I am at ease with myself and I am a lot better to be around.

268. This is so beautiful to read Luz, ‘I am such a precious being, why allow that harshness in my body and in my life? I can stay with me, while I let others be in their truth’. It is great for me to re-read this article, I have always wanted to be right and tell others that what they are doing and how they are doing it is not the ‘right way’, it’s great for me to have this reminder to let others be and instead focus on myself.

269. Many of us can relate to “stop fighting”, I feel. When we “let go”, it does feel so much lighter in the body and more space for joy and we can feel it effortlessly. Thank you Luz for writing this.

270. Amazing insights from someone who has truly let go of needing to be right. I can relate to this way in how I have been with my wife in the past. Pushing a point and needing to be right was a pattern that I was in for a long time. I would feel a satisfaction in getting her to agree with a point I was making. Often I would have a reply, answer or solution in my head even before she finished talking. This meant that I was not truly listening and allowing my wife to express before I replied. A big part of a loving relationship is when you develop the ability to truly listen with full presence before speaking in any conversation.

271. Luz thankyou for the great reminder to let go of needing to be right. This is a pattern that I can still sometimes go into instead of surrendering to what is truly going on for me.

272. Wow Luz – I loved every bit of your article. Especially “This obsessive focus on others and their weaknesses is a way that I use to numb myself from my own deep hurt and the pain that it would cause me to really feel how far I walked away from my natural way of being.” Backed up by ” I prefer to keep the focus outside of myself, and not have to deal with it all. OUCH!” So simply profound, we are very masterful at finding ways to not deal with what has hurt us, thank you for exposing the need to be “right” as one of them.

     1. Absolutely agree Caroline, those two paragraphs stood out for me too and this massive need of being right. It feels really horrible after reading your amazing blog, Luz and I can see now even the deeper parts of this need to be right and how they still govern me. Very exposing and very healing, thank you!

     2. Beautifully said, carolineraphael! The acceptance of the bigger picture lies within here… You know what I mean? It’s not on me to actively change the world by attacking , correcting, blaming etc. – no matter if I sense untruth or unfairness – it is the quality of holding that truly helps to return. Me to myself and other by my reflection of that stillness and joy. And that takes away tons of my shoulders. There is nothing to save – it’s me I have to keep healing my hurts and expanding my love.

        1. It can be so easy to focus on the unfairness of the world. What a hook this is. No it can’t be ignored but I know that I have made this a focus and confronted it with such a hard defence. In doing so it was a convenient way to not look at myself. Wanting to change the world, or another, gives no space and is so controlling. I can feel now that this form of desire to control is so hard in my body. I’d like to try allowing things, situations and people to be as they are while I hold steady as me.

     3. Beautiful Caroline, I love what you say, this article is absolutely amazing to read; and a great revelation of where the need to be ‘right’ comes from.

     4. Yes well said Carolineraphael and well said Luz.. we are finding so many ways to avoid dealing with our hurts because the easier option seems to be focus on what is outside of ourselves (get things right!).
        You have described Joy.. and we can actually feel it and experience it much more the more we have dealt with our hurts and fears.

     5. I am realising on a whole new level just how masterful we are to not deal with what has hurt us. The depths that we go to is incredible.

     6. So well sad Luz and Carolineraphael, we are complete masters at tricking ourselves and others in ways that bury our hurts that we don’t have to deal with them. How amazing would it be if we used this mastership, dexterity and skill the other way around?

     7. Absolutely Caroline. Focusing on the weaknesses of others allows me to get so preoccupied and righteous with what is happening outside of myself that it gives me the illusion of a get out of jail free card to feeling the reflection on these same weaknesses within myself. The more I focus on others imperfections the less I need to look at and consider my own imperfections and hurts.

273. Dear Luz, thank you for this blog, there are many parts that made me say ‘ouch’, as I do that too; but it’s great to feel and see it written in words as now I have felt it and know I can work on letting go of these hurts and the need for life, people or situations to be a certain way – so controlling and playing a game to make me feel safe. When really it just keeps me separate from committing to life in full, other people and myself. To top it off, it’s a pretty exhausting and draining way to live; when when I allow things to be, life to flow, and don’t need people and situations to be a certain way, there is so much expansiveness, space, freedom, energy and joy in my body, and in connections with people and life each day.

274. Your honesty and wisdom in expressing your “need to be right” hit such a chord with me Luz. I loved reading your blog and have much to ponder, thank you.

275. Thank you for sharing your blog Luz, in truth we have all been hurt, so to come from our own hurt only confirms to another the reason they stay hurt. To drop hurt allows another to breathe their own breath and we get to meet them… what a joy.

276. Well said Luz. That drive to be right always puts a constant tension in my body as if I was shown to be wrong somehow this would make me a failure. Letting go of this need to be right and just accepting myself as just who I am is a much more gentle way to live and allows space to appreciate myself and everyone else without judgement of how they are or what they say.

277. Luz this is a refreshing and honest post, and very reflective. Admitting first that we are injured, and seeing the injury, similar and as if we were involved in a car crash, and nursing ourselves back to wellness, is a worthwhile process. No longer seeing our injury (and ourselves) as ‘bad’, ‘a failure’ or ‘inadequate’, but accepting what happened, where we are at, makes space for sensitivity and humbleness. And in this we open ourselves up to others. Where, as you share Luz, there is great JOY.

278. Thanks for this honest and open blog Luz Helena. I know exactly what you mean about focussing on other people’s ‘imperfections’ being a way for us not to actually be with ourselves. We distract ourselves from feeling ourselves much deeper by going into being agitated, irritated etc. because we don’t want to stop and feel our own deep hurts. The thing is though, when we do stop and let ourselves feel, we feel so much more than the hurts we’ve taken on – we feel ourselves deep from within us, and that’s when we truly feel we are home. All this outward ‘focus’ takes us further and further away from our true home.

279. Awesome sharing Luz. I have only just begun to understand this that you speak of within myself recently, so how wonderful to discover your blog in my travels. I am learning that the need to be right, or fear of being wrong is a way I protect myself, but its not really real! I know the way forward in allowing the hurts to fall away and the need to be right is simply in being aware of this and choosing to build a stronger relationship with the delicate, tender all loving woman that I am. Then when this is rock solid, I can easily recognise an old behaviour that isn’t me when it arises. Thank you for sharing so honestly.

280. What an insightful, honest, awesome blog. It’s quite absurd how we complicate our lives. The way you put this is very inspirational: “I am able to feel more and more often the JOY of not needing to be right, the true joy that accompanies a life that is lived when I take my hurt self out of the way, and when I allow the easiness and playfulness of my true self to manifest again.” Wow. Thank you.

281. Hi Luz Helena – what an awesome presentation and expression of your unfolding love and letting go the need to be right. I really enjoyed reading your blog – much to ponder on, thank you.

282. What a great expression, I know what you explain very well, with having a part of me that always wants to be in control, and not be hurt by things that happen. Your blog is an inspiration to feel into this behaviour again and experience how it is to just observe and feel what is happening with everyone around me, but not reacting or trying to change it for my advantage.

283. I love the honesty you bring in this blog. I have found that dealing with my own hurts and issues has meant a stronger commitment to life and a stronger commitment to myself and all areas of my life, and life keeps getting better….

284. Feeling that the person I hurt first when getting angry with others was the key for me to feel what is really going on.
     I am fascinated day by day that everything that evokes a reaction in me – be it stress, fear, anger, or feeling misjudged – is in fact nothing but an image in the mirror for me to learn from. I just have to be open to see and let in what is there to be learned. This is so beautiful – though at times quite confronting;)

     1. Absolutely Michael, to stay in observation to my own reactions without judging myself supports me to learn about me, and to learn to accept, appreciate and love me the way I am, and from that grows the joy of being with me everyday.

285. The need to be right is such a weight to let go of. I found that I enjoyed the company of anyone I met so much more when I really let go of needing to be right.

286. Luz Helena I have also found that our relationships are tainted by our judgments and hurts and this stops us from really getting to know people, even the ones we love. Thank you for sharing how you disentangled yourself from the hurt, and how that allowed you to be free, natural and joy-full in relationships.

287. “Letting go of the hurt, the need to be right, and stopping fighting and knowing and allowing who I truly am are the easiest ways to commit to life in full and experience this commitment from true JOY.” Thank you Luz for this beautifull inspiration, I know I will be back to re-read your blog a few times. There are a lot of reflections in it.

288. I’m finding a new relationship with right and wrong, my entire life was ruled by wanting to be right – as you say to avoid ever being hurt. It is certainly more simple and enjoyable without worrying about being right and being able to say when I don’t know things.

289. What a beautiful experience you share Luz of opening the door to the person you has been having a tough time with, having let go of whatever previous interactions you had with them and saw them in that moment for who they are. All because you dealt with all that first with yourself, so you can then feel and know your own beauty. Lovely

290. Ahh, I can feel the ease of simply sitting back and observing things. Not having to challenge or get caught up in things but just allowing it all to be… And seeing where it goes.. Way less uptight and more content in just letting things happen. Awesome Luz

291. Thank you Luz for this very honest blog, there are many points here of which I can relate to. Especially the need to be right and control situations so that they go according to my own investments. This blog is well worth a second visit.

292. Luz, this is such a great reminder for us in our day to day living, and the sentence “Today I felt a JOY that I’ve never felt or acknowledged before, when I opened the door to someone I have been having a tough time with. I received them with no need for them to be different.” – really says it all.

293. Thank you Luz for your honesty in this blog. It’s been a big turnaround for you to now accept people without judgment and to not get absorbed into their issues. Feeling the joy that comes with this is beautiful.

294. Some super honesty here that I can certainly relate to. I find it takes so much energy and drive to hold onto negativity and blame, and yet it is so simple to just let it all go and feel my own loveliness. Saying ‘no’ to behaviours and not to people themselves is a panacea for my body, mind and spirit!

295. Wow Luz, thank you for your honesty and the open approach in which you wrote this blog, I have this feeling that I will be reading this one over and over as I completely relate to what you have shared and to that feeling of knowing true joy and how it can become a consistent part of my everyday way of living. There is such a steadiness and a delicate sense in my body when I truly just let others be where they are at, which shows me just how tense my body can feel and walk around with when I have any investment in protecting my own feelings and my own old hurts.

296. thank you for the great reflection of needing to be right and take on everything to keep it that way. I can feel how I still have a need to be perfect, sometimes so perfect that I don’t stand out. But I can feel how this brings a strain on me and how beautiful it is to open up and let things happen as they go. And live life how it presents itself, not controlling everything but just feeling what needs to happen next.

297. “There is a lack of trust in the fact that the real changes in this world occur by first changing me and the relationship I have with even the smallest and simplest of things. I haven’t given any value to keeping things simple, staying still and letting things go their way, while I express my gentle, sensitive, considerate, and present self”. This passage is the one that stood out for me today, and the intention never to give up on ourselves. Thank you Luz Helena, what a beautiful end to my day.

298. Thank you, Luz Helena. This is beautiful, and very healing. Needing to be right, and seeing the world/people outside as something that needs to be put right – feels very familiar. I do far less of it these days, and reading your blog I could feel the expansiveness and magnificence that is equally there – inside and outside of my self. That’s so amazing to feel.

299. I feel you are so right when you say that you don’t have judgement on others because of how they present to you. Then you just allow them to be who they are by not judging them in their behaviour, this was truly refreshing and joy-full to read. It made me remember the greatest beauty that I know in life, seeing another person in their joy.

300. Hi Luz, it’s true how much it hurts in our bodies when we hold on to our emotions and hurts and get stuck in trying to make everything/everyone around us behave in a certain way. It’s beautiful to hear how you have worked on letting that all go and allowing others to be.

301. Luz, this expression of your need to be right was like holding a mirror up to myself. Perfect timing for me and reminder that our true nature is the tenderness, fragility and the strength that comes with these qualities. All the games, reactions and patterns of destructive behaviour you describe, I can so relate to. It is protection from being hurt.. again, but it is also a choice I make and it is irresponsible. I will read and reread this piece. Thank you for your honesty, it is exceptionally disarming.

302. Its great to take responsibility for the way we are. I can either be settled in my body, feeling my love and beauty, with no push and no need to be right; or, separated from my body in anxiousness and fear, creating a need or an expectation of the way things should be, and wanting to push my point and be right causing the hurt and sadness that I try desperately to avoid. Committing to being with me embraces the responsibility I have to bring my true self and love to the world instead of the other option – of fear, hurt and mistrust. Thank you for your expression.

303. Lovely article. Just letting go of hurts and beliefs, and allowing the joy to come out for yourself and all other human beings.

304. Great article Luz. I’ve read one of your other blogs, and this one like the last expresses with such honesty and commitment. I enjoyed reading what you shared here – thanks.

305. Yes, Luz, it would be ‘magical and awesome to let my deep hurt go and be myself again’. And yes, I too feel joy in knowing that I ‘have no desire and not an ounce of needing to be right, win or make myself be understood’. There are many times where I still find myself trying to be right, or win a conversation, trying to prove that I am smart or clever, but I can see very clearly when I am doing this and can then choose to stop the behaviour. This is in part thanks to this blog you have written, which allowed me to go there in the first place to see my own patterns and see what I was doing to myself and why.

306. Wow, this blog is so pertinent to me at the moment. I have read this before but today everything felt so much clearer. I am about to print it and feel that it will be a true support at this time.

307. I have come to realise that when I want to be right – I’m looking to control the world around me, trying to force people to be a way I want them to be – to suit myself and the amount of “willingness” I am prepared to be with myself and others. Takes a lot of effort and the results have never matched my expectation (hopes).

308. I came across this blog again today and it felt like I was reading it for the first time. Your revelations have helped me feel much of this in myself and inspired me to deepen my choice to be tender with myself.
     There is much wisdom in this blog – pure gold.

309. Very insightful thank you Luz. I can relate to the rage and blame of others and needing to be right when all the time I needed to look at what was hurting inside. As I do this the rage has gone and I am more able to feel joy with others and allow them to be where they are in themselves and their own lives. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine inspired me to make this change, of which I am very grateful.

310. Great blog, Luz. I used be so caught up with what is ‘right’ but I have now come to appreciate that there is no such thing as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – only Truth. I do not always manage to remember that but the more I do, the more liberating my life becomes. For this change I owe a huge thank you to Serge & Simone Benhayon

311. A great article to reread Luz, there is always deeper to go with this. As I look at the control I use in different situations and address this, it becomes apparent that it can sometimes be so refined that there is ever more space for fine tuning and looking at what plays out. Thank you.

     1. Yes, Jenny. I agree there is always a deeper level to look at this with and I can relate to wanting to control different situations to protect hurts. It has got much, much easier to not need to be “right” with the obvious stuff but there are sneakier more subtle things that come up that need noticing.

312. Great blog and deeply insightful Luz. Thank you. I really relate to how you say ‘In terms of fighting for a cause and injustice’. This is such a sneaky one as I for many years fooled myself into thinking that I was fighting the honourable fight for the good of other people/ society when in truth I was fighting the world as a distraction from my own hurts. Many ideals to let go of, but now feeling so much lighter in my body and in my life, and serving humanity from a place of love rather than hurt and anger.

313. I so enjoyed reading this very open story, could relate to much of it and recommend it as a great read containing bounteous beauty and wisdom.

314. What a great read particularly at a time of year when I am more likely to meet and talk with people I don’t see at other times. The joy of this potential gift, giving up the need to be right, is that both parties will receive.

315. I can relate to your article very much so. I noticed 2 situations this week. One where I had a telephone conversation with someone I have had a difficult relationship with, and I felt I was just able to let them be where they were at and I could feel no resistance from them which I usually feel. And the other where I could really feel the pain in my body from how I had reacted to a situation and stayed in the injustice of it all, going over and over it in my head.

316. Re-reading this this morning I found one sentence that spoke to me very loud and clear: ‘My permanent focus is to not fight against anything but to never ever give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life’ Thank you Luz for such an inspiring piece of writing.

317. Luz, your blog is amazing, I read it today feeling how much I still want to be right, like the comfort of right, and yet I feel it’s discomfort too. So more and more I’m learning to come back and feel me and feel where I am, feel the delicacy of who I am. There is so much you’ve written on here but most of all I feel the depth of understanding you have for you and where you’ve been and how you are now. I smiled when you wrote about letting your friend in, who you’d previously had an issue with. It reminded me of a similar situation I had with me, and how recently I’ve been able to accept where the other is at, and how it’s been easy, it was a relief. Thank you. I will be taking this blog into my week and my life.

318. What a great article Luz Helena, it is so important what you say here. I have so many times ruined good moments because of not allowing others to be where they are at, trying to fix them, to find their wrongs and “supposedly” help them, and leaving my joy and my yummy feeling, using others and their problems as an excuse to give up on myself. I am committing now to observing and letting others be, and I appreciate how you say: “My permanent focus is to not fight against anything, but to never, ever, give up on myself again and choose to withdraw from life. I am not scared to stop, feel and return – no matter how far away I’ve gone, I can always come back.”

319. There is great freedom and joy in not needing to be right, that is certainly something I have found to be true. Thank you for your blog Luz, you share many great revelations.

320. Thank you Luz I really enjoyed reading this and all you say about not needing to be right any longer, letting people be and letting go of ones hurts as the way and choice to live life forward from here. What a great sharing.

321. I read the blog again today and the insights you have had are inspiring. The bit that really hit me (although it all did) was: ‘I received them with no need for them to be different’ No judgement – just acceptance and love. Awesome.

322. I loved reading this article Luz. I especially loved reading what you wrote about when you changed the way you related to someone you had been having problems with and you accepted all of them without trying to change any aspect of them: “I felt Joy that I had no desire and not an ounce of needing to be right, win or make myself be understood. I could only feel the gentleness in my body. I felt delicate.” Beautiful and inspiring.

323. I really appreciate the clarity and depth of understanding that you have shared here, I have felt many of the judgements and needs that you describe here, and it has really helped me to go deeper in seeing how they manifest in my life, and how letting go of them gives me more space to experience the true joy in appreciating and allowing others to be their natural self, and of course lets my natural self out more too.

324. ‘How much damage have I caused to myself by choosing to hold onto my hurts, give up on my delicateness and allow the hardness to take over?’ – this is such a great question to consider when this is not our natural way.

325. A great opening sentence.Luz, the beginning of all our ills, hiding that hurt yet living from its effects. Your transformation show us we do not have to play that game any more.

326. What an awesome blog with such depth in it. There is so much here to ponder on. Justice, a word and concept that brings with it such strong ideals about who is right and who is wrong and what is fair. I know I have got ‘hot under the collar’ about perceived injustice more than a few times in my life. But has this done anyone any good? No not really. It feels like an emotional reaction, a distraction from taking responsibility for how I am in my life. It feels much easier to get angry about someone else’s irresponsibility than look at my own. What if the ultimate ‘justice’ was the great universal law of karma and the rebalancing of any imbalance we cause in the universe? How can I judge a small perceived situation local to me as an injustice when I do not know or comprehend the whole universal picture of re-balancing that is at play?

327. Loved reading this again, so many questions that help bring understanding to this terrible need to be right! I have realised recently that in this need, which is just protection like you say, if I keep those I love at a distance it is the very loveliness of me that is buried.

328. Wow Luz, this is an amazing blog. “the true meaning of JOY is allowing others to feel all the love that they are in their greatest moments, and to give them the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at.” Wow. How much Love there is in this sentence…..!

329. Pingback: The True Joy of Not Needing to Be Right |

330. What a lovely transformation Luz – I really enjoyed reading this.
     I could so relate to not trusting that real change occurs by first changing me. I have always let the world change around me first – as part of my protection – but as I start to bring more love into my life, I’ve started to trust myself more, and change is coming from me first.

     It is a beautiful reflection of what you say here – that starting with love and letting go of the hurt is a huge step forward.

331. This is an amazing article Luz and one that I feel can truly support me as I go through a very difficult time with people that are choosing to not look at their hurts. I can feel how hard my body has become in the last year or so and how much I need to change, not just for my own health but for everyone concerned. At least I can look at my own hurts at a deeper level and with more openness than before, have more compassion for myself and therefore others and allow those times of true delicateness back into my life. And I can do as sjmatsonuk suggested place your questions from deep in side your heart onto my fridge door and add a few more of my own!

332. Thank you Luz, this was the perfect blog for me to read today. As I have been questioning the need for recognition and the very forms it comes in. I can also recognise the need to be right and control things, so that they go my way.

333. Thanks Luz – there is much there that rings true for me… Right now it feels hard for me to let it go but I know that the more I get to know myself and feel the love inside, the more I will feel that all these hurts are not me and so I can let them go without losing myself in the process. Roll on that day!

334. Awesome blog Luz and so beautifully expressed. Your honesty and integrity in your words is there for all to read and feel. Thank you for sharing, it was a joy to read.

335. A wonderfully comprehensive and inspiring blog, Luz. You have posed some mighty exposing questions that will keep me feeling into how and why I would ever feel it necessary to be right just so my ideal is being fulfilled. I particularly liked this question: “How much damage have I caused to myself by choosing to hold onto my hurts, give up on my delicateness and allow the hardness to take over?”

     Re-discovering and re-embracing my delicateness is a beautiful, if somewhat painful, process at times. I realise how hurtful and damaging fighting with words can be as my body feels so twisted inside when I try to justify my hurts, by being defensive and right all the time. Just learning to give myself the time, space and freedom to be me in all that I see as wrong in this world and with particular people, allows me to offer that to others and having experienced this too, it is certainly worth the joy, harmony and lightness I feel in my body. It is a lot better and a whole lot less exhausting than having to fight to be right. Many thanks.

336. “The ways I think things should be are not based on what is needed and what works for all.”
     I find this comment really interesting. It’s one I’m learning fast, for me I feel I’m shown the arrogance of my thoughts in these matters. Who am I to know and understand what is needed and works for everyone in these situations, when I’m making a judgement call from my head? When you lose connection from your body and are not presented with the whole truth, you are not allowing a true opportunity to unfold but instead are rail-roading your wants and ideas onto everyone around.

337. Luz every blog I read of yours just blows me away, you write with such love and care and depth of understanding it is awe inspiring. I also feel like you could be writing about me! I am learning this one, to stay open to be love everywhere with everyone, to let go of needing to be right, for things to be safe! Its not something I have mastered but in reading your ‘would it be worth it’ list – I KNOW IN EVERY PART OF ME THAT IT IS WORTH IT and that I am worth it. Thank you for such an incredible blog.

338. Thank you Luz, for a great article. The bit that stands out for me is the need I had for people to “get it” which was very exhausting instead of just to “be” in the fullness of who I am and be a reflection for others. It is still “work in progress” for me. Life is simpler and more joyful when we just let people be where they are at. I realise now that it was a form of control and definitely a judgment I had for others. Ouch !

339. Thank you Luz for sharing, I can relate to the needing to be right and in the past would feel miffed if someone did not agree with me. Lots here to consider – well worth a second read.

340. Thank you Luz. Your deeply powerful and complex piece deserves re-reading
     many times. Your feeling of joy, when you just let people ‘be’ is something I have
     also experienced. Your ‘Warrior battling through life’ is an image which I’m sure is
     familiar to everybody.

341. Your list of things you asked your heart should be put on the door of everyones fridge where all things that are important go.

342. This is one of those blogs I can read over and over as it feels there are so many layers to this needing to be right. When I move myself out of the way, this need is no longer there, life becomes simple and I start to to feel appreciation for myself and others. It is far simpler to allow myself and others to be.

343. This describes the way I have lived my life too. Yesterday I discovered an even deeper layer of rage and resentment because my body was in great pain, (guts and back!), and at last I was listening to it and stopped to really feel those emotions that are still buried deep, But, as you say, instead of suppressing them again or indulging in them, I chose to truly feel them and look at what was really going on. It feels as though they are really up for clearing now, and your blog, Luz, is such a help and guide and encouragement to keep going. I feel this is so important for many, many people to read who are struggling with the same issues.

344. I read the opening line “I have been hurt in life, not unlike many others. And because I don’t want to be hurt EVER AGAIN, I have a need to ‘be right’ and find ways to survive and protect myself.” and knew I had to read this blog. I mirror so much of what you have said and shared… and yes when I let my guard down and just allow everyone in the room to be, without having to protect myself, then I am so much more open to those around me and the people around me actually seem to melt as well!

     1. That’s so true Simon. I am observing more and more that when I let my guard down in a situation, others start to as well and it leaves space for honest communications. It also feels much nicer than coming in prepared for battle, which was the way I used to approach others, especially at work.

345. Amazing expression thank you

346. Just having re-read your blog Luz I had a lovely experience with a colleague recently. Normally there is a bit of friction between us and we tend to give each other a wide berth. On this occasion I was in a space where I felt open. We had an exchange that felt very supportive and I realized it was because I had let down my guard and was appreciating and allowing him to be himself without any expectation from me. A great lesson for me about how through making changes myself it changes my relationships with others.

347. Your clarity and honesty on this matter is beautiful. How easy it is to bring the past to the present and move in every aspect from our hurts. To truly feel the love and joy within when we do not move in this way is astounding, and from that point the what if becomes less of a future tense but more of a livingness, as presented so beautifully by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

348. Thanks Luz you are so great at expressing whats going on for you and getting it down on paper. Such an honest account and a joy to read. Love the wisdom you bring to a blog – keep it coming.

     1. I echo what you have said Kevin. This is a blog I will definitely re-read. I can relate to much of what Luz has written.

349. Dear Luz Hincapie,
     This is such a power-full blog and you really do say so much that is deeply profound.
     I am printing this out and keeping it to read and re-read. I have much here to keep me going.
     The bit that really stands out right now for me is about Joy and allowing others ‘the space and freedom to be exactly where they are at’. This is something that is ‘work in progress’ over many years and it works when I let go of my need for them to ‘get it’. I am now understanding that with me allowing them to Be where they are, I can get on with my life in the knowing that they too will one day get to where they need to be at.
     Your words are healing and empowering for me right now.
     Thank you deeply – I appreciate what you have written and I can feel it comes from the real you.

350. These are amazing questions that you pose, Luz. They are seriously worth taking the time to sit with and be really honest about, which I am definitely going to do – thank you.

351. Luz this is a blog I will come back to again and again, it is something I have really struggled with and as you say identified with. It is another amazing blog as Julie says.

352. Thank you Luz, for another amazing blog. I can relate to lots that has been shared and particularly enjoyed this section –“There is a lack of trust in the fact that the real changes in this world occur by first changing me and the relationship I have with even the smallest and simplest of things. I haven’t given any value to keeping things simple, staying still and letting things go their way, while I express my gentle, sensitive, considerate and present self.” I find when I allow this simplicity in my life I have no awareness of ‘right or wrong’ just what is to be expressed in that moment.

353. Absolutely beautiful Luz. The need to be right can be one of the biggest struggles to let go of but when we do – boy oh boy is there JOY in the body. I love the way you have expressed this all so clearly.

     1. Well said, Shevon. It can seem like a huge struggle, one I find myself caught up in especially trying to please others, but when we just let go of needing to be right, the Joy is naturally there, abundantly so – it is so simple yet because of the age of some of the hurts we have been carrying it means we have to look at them and this can be challenging but definitely worth it.

354. Reading this blog has been a joy for me Luz, using the beautiful true definition of joy you have shared. I used to waste a lot of my time complaining about all of life’s injustices and how others were “doing me or my friends wrong”, in a way that was never taking full responsibility for my own actions and negative emotions.
     It was as if the world was a mirror reflecting back to me the negative image that I had mentally imposed upon it. I also felt like a ping pong ball being bounced around as the littlest thing would set me off on a tirade (especially the rampant greed and corruption of various corporations and governments).

     This is all so draining and exhausting to live like that and now I have become much more of an observer of things, knowing that the only thing I have power over to change is myself. What a relief! I had really been soaking up all the attention my little tirades of complaining were giving me from others, but when a family member finally said they were worried about how all this “conspiracy” stuff was affecting me; I realized it was time to look at myself more deeply and I saw how acting in this way not only affects my body and life, but everyone around me as well.

     And in a poisonous manner that can spread like an infection from person to person. We can so easily be fooled into thinking we are trying to fight for some justice in the world by exposing all the evils and fighting against it, when all we have to do is let others be and let ourselves be without forcing things in our lives from a place of not feeling “enough”.

355. Simply wow,
     Focusing on the outside and everything that is ‘wrong and unjust’, working ourselves up into a frenzy and misery over the world rather than making our focus one of self-empowerment is a huge subject I can really relate to.
     We have the power to change our choices every single day, to feel that joy inside us and the fact that it is within everyone else equally. Everyone has that lightness inside them, the hurts are just on the surface and not our core.
     ”I am not scared to stop, feel and return – no matter how far away I’ve gone, I can always come back.”
     This is one blog I will be re-reading many times over, Thank you.

356. Thank you for sharing Luz I too can relate to what you have said.

357. Luz you have expressed here a deep wisdom and self knowing, with courage and light. Thankyou.

358. So many people struggle with the need to be right, and the hardness that comes with it is so very damaging. But underneath, as you have so beautifully exposed, is a hurt that you are trying to protect. Thank you for sharing.

359. Wow Luz, you have expressed so beautifully how I have lived and the changes in progress towards true joy and service rather than my ‘right’ way which serves only me. The clarity you have offered is amazing and so, so supportive.

     Thank you so very much for your timely expression. Awesome indeed.

360. Hi Luz, I absolutely love your blogs! Such exquisite, eloquent and honest writing.

     I love how they build a sequence and step by step reveal the truth. This recent sequence on “being right” leading to “the joy of not being right” is so timely and a great inspiration to me. What an awesome study of yourself and now you made it available to humanity. This is such an amazingly valuable read!

     1. This is so true Judith. Luz writes with a real rawness and honesty about her life, but only because she has been willing to get underneath things, to question herself and harming behaviours – to get to the Truth! I love it and find it inspirational and the way to go to make real lasting life changes,

361. This is an amazing blog Luz. I can so relate to having a need to be right. It feels so yucky when I catch myself going down that path, as Shevon says above, “this need to be right can feel like a cement wall”. Thank you for spelling it out so simply for us all to ponder on and decide to simply let others be with their choices and keep feeling the gorgeousness of ourselves.

362. Beautiful Luz. Thank you for sharing this. It leaves much to be contemplated on as this need to be right can feel like a cement wall. This blog gives the opportunity for us to explore another way.

363. The honesty expressed in this blog rings out loud and clear that no matter what one’s past choices have been, “the power of my own love – this part within has not been corrupted or hurt – has stayed always radiant, FULL and beautiful” is there waiting to be rediscovered. I too have found this and that being open and accepting of people and not letting any judgments or past hurts to get in the way is the essence of truly connecting with others.

364. Luz, ‘Not needing to be right’ reminds me of my yearly return home for Xmas with all the family. What I have realised is that so much is going on for everyone but I am not bound by childhood hurts as I once was, hence no need to ‘be right’ or defend. Now I am more able to observe and just love everyone and feel what’s going on for them without reacting to it as much. And of course any reaction is an opportunity for me to see where I still carry ‘unwanted baggage’. This Xmas putting up protection and sympathy led to backache and overeating for me. I am still recovering!

365. I love this article Luz. I can relate to all of it especially our not feeling the joy of letting them be who they are. I wonder if this comes with the joy of letting ourselves be who we really are without judging or needing to change. Thanks so much for sharing this.

     1. Great point Jean about it relating to the joy of also letting ourselves be who we really are. Great Blog Luz

     2. I love the point you make here Jean about letting ourselves be who we are – without judging or needing to change. Often we can tone down who we are to try and be who we think we need to be. I will take your comment into my day. Thank you Jean.

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