This is my story of a life of abuse… and where it began…
Learning to Trust and Rely on No-One…
As a young child I grew up with only my father and one of my younger sisters, as my mother moved interstate one day with my oldest and youngest sisters and her new husband, unbeknownst to me and my sister. At that stage of my life I was attending primary school around the corner from her house. On the day she moved, I was about 8, I felt very strongly to go to her home. When I got there I saw a removalist truck pulling out with one of my sisters sitting in the front and my mum’s car driving away down the road. I was devastated. I knew this was goodbye and I lost two of my best friends and my mum from right under my nose.
From this I learnt a lot: I decided it was best not to listen to my feelings as they may lead me into great pain, and that just because I was born into a family this did not give me the right to expect to be a part of it, and that you can trust and rely on no-one because at any point in time they can disappear right from under you.
Learning I was not Loveable…
Later at about 12, I remember talking to my mum, telling her how hurt I was that she left without saying goodbye. How hurt I was every time I went to visit her and my sisters in the school holidays, when she would put me on the bus within a couple of days because her new husband and I clashed. I told her how it hurt that she would do this without any care whether anyone knew I was coming or was able to meet me at the end of my bus trip. When I told my mother of this hurt she was sad for me but told me her husband said it was either me or him. She told me I would only be around for another six years whereas her husband would be there for the rest of her life.
From this I learnt: I had to be very valuable to people or they would find a better option and leave me. That I was not loveable, even by my own mother, and that I was something people could toss to the side, as there were far greater things than me out there.
Learning I didn’t Matter…
On one occasion I remember arriving home one night at 2am at a highway truck stop by myself. When I went to call my dad reverse charges there was no answer as he had gone away. I remember the shame of having to call my best friend’s parents at 2am in the morning reverse charges asking them to come and pick me up as I had arrived back from my mum’s unexpectedly and dad was unreachable.
From this I learnt that: I mattered that little that my own mother would put me on the bus without any concern to what happened to me after she had said “see you later”. There was a huge shame in asking another for help, as they would get to see how unworthy I was considered to be even by my own family. That I was someone to be felt sorry for, as I was less than others.
Learning about the Church, Hell and God…
Growing up Dad did the best he could do. We grew up extremely religious and the church took pity on us and helped out for the first couple of years. The church paid for ladies to come and help around the home and look after us when Dad would go out.
From this I learnt: that we were not enough as a family and had to have a church support us, we were a charity case.
After Mum and Dad split up, dad no longer would take what the church called the sacrament of communion. I asked him when I was taking my communion vows why this was and he told me he was no longer worthy of communion as he had sinned when he lost my mother and the marriage.
From this I learnt a lot: I learnt that marriage was for life, and once you chose a bed to lay in you had better stay put or you are damning yourself to the fires of hell, and God was a hard person that did not love you if you did not follow his rules.
Learning about Men, Sex and Speaking up about Abuse…
Growing up Dad would scare me away from boys telling me they only wanted to get in my pants and that I had to be very careful how I behaved around them as I could lead them on and that it was very unfair to a man for a woman to do this. At the age of twelve I was playing with a friend at one of my Dad’s work friends’ parties. I remember running around the house to the other side to hide and a man grabbed me, sat me on his knee and said “fair’s fair”. I remember being very scared and feeling violated. I jumped with all my force onto his foot and got free and ran as fast as I could and got away. I felt as though I had been abused, and even though no physical violation had taken place, I was deeply affected. I told no-one.
One holiday my stepbrother went to tackle me and I freaked right out and it all came out. I had not understood what had happened to me and when my mum asked if he had done stuff to me I did not understand what it all meant, some I answered yes to thinking I knew what it meant and other questions I said no to.
The first reaction was my father and stepfather said they would pay a man to break his knee caps. I used to have nightmares of this man coming to my bedroom window hobbling on his kneecaps. The man that had sat me on his lap then came to my dad’s house to have coffee with him and tell him he had done nothing to me. I got so angry when Dad told me I smashed every coffee cup in the house. Dad asked me if I had lied to him and that I was wrecking this man’s life as he was going to get fired and word would be put out so he would not be able to find a job anywhere. Dad believed the man over me until he found out the man had been to jail twice for raping young girls.
From this I learnt that: speaking up about abuse wrecks the abuser’s life and this is a very selfish thing to do, that it is only considered abuse when it is really bad, that a man’s voice means 100 times more than mine, and that I was responsible for wrecking a man’s life by speaking up. I also learnt that: men are bad, that they only want me for one thing, sex, and that I am worth nothing to men except to sexually relieve them.
Learning First Hand about Sexual, Physical and Mental Abuse…
Needless to say I was still a virgin at 17 years old when I met the father of my two children. This relationship was sexually, physically and mentally very abusive. The police would take me to hospital when they were called and I would be wheeled in unable to walk as I had been tied up for days to a bed and abused.
I remember going to a doctor for a pap smear and her asking me if I had been raped as I showed the physical trauma of rape. I told her no as I didn’t think it was rape. In later years when I reflected back I remembered how when my husband would rape me I would go to a field of flowers in my mind and play, I would leave my body to the point I felt nothing, no pain, no sadness. My husband would frequently tell me how inadequate my body was and that I was a pathetic excuse of a woman.
From this I learnt: if I pretend things weren’t happening then they weren’t happening. I learnt that I was not worthy of being called a woman, that I was worse than trash, that all my beliefs about men were true. I learnt that sex was a painful and horrible thing that women just had to accept, and that life sucked as an adult, you just grit your teeth and get through.
I remember my husband would enjoy himself more when he was raping me knowing he was hurting me, so I learnt to pretend the opposite and became very good at making things end quickly.
From this I learnt: men enjoy hurting women and this is what sexually arouses them.
I remember walking down the street looking only at the pavement because, if my eyes met with anyone else’s, my partner would later take it out on me telling me I was trying to hook up with them; this would happen whether it was a man, woman or child.
From this I learnt: not to connect with anyone in any way because I felt like I was sexually abusing them by looking at them.
Learning about Abuse and the Law…
I remember one weekend the police wanted to get me a restraining order so they called in the judge and the judge looked at me and even though I was black and blue and messed up he would not grant a restraining order as he did not believe in domestic violence.
From this I learnt: what was happening to me was of no real importance and no-one cared.
This was confirmed when I had managed to escape from my husband after my daughter was born and he decided to take me to court for full custody. This brought about a mediation where it was decided that I had to drive my daughter from our home on the Sunshine Coast to Brisbane, as I had the car, job and means to do so, whereas he did not. And because he did not have the money to pay for a supervised visitation place I was to take our daughter to his house where his mother would act as the supervisor. I did not get away again until I was pregnant with my son.
This taught me: the law could not help, but it could hurt me.
I remember a police officer once asking me if my husband had access to a gun when I was seeking an AVO; when I answered he could probably get one, the police officer called me a stupid little girl and asked me how would a piece of paper stop a bullet and laughed at me as I walked out of the police station. This reaffirmed there was no point in trying to get away or get support as my husband would catch up to me in the long run.
I stayed in this relationship for years and allowed much physical, mental and sexual abuse, for three main reasons:
- I felt I had chosen this man and now it was my responsibility to deal with the consequences, I thought “I hade made my bed now I have to sleep in it.”
- I felt I had wrecked the man’s life who had sat me on his knees when I was twelve and now I had to pay the consequences I believed were owed to me.
- And lastly that I was more likely to end up dead or my children dead if I left him.
Living from a False Foundation to Creating a New Foundation…
So as you can see, over the years I had formed quite a lot of ideas about life and people and what it is I needed to do to survive. These ideas had created the foundation on which I lived my life so that I could protect myself.
Only recently did I realise that:
- I had this foundation, and
- It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.
The most amazing and simple but powerful thing I learnt was that I had the choice whether to keep living from this false foundation I had made from past experiences/hurts, pain and protection or I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.
From this I learnt that: I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.
Learning to support the Amazingness that is me…
I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves. And if so, to consider whether we created this foundation from past experiences and hurts, and if we do have such a foundation, to ask how they have been created and whether or not they are actually supporting us.
I found some I had purposely made up because I knew they would help me, such as helping others because then everyone liked me and saw me as a good person to have in their lives. Others were created via events I had been through and some were created by what others had told me such as the one my dad had told me that all men wanted was to get in my pants.
Once I reflected back over the ways my old foundations were formed I could then look at what they actually were and the effect they had on me. I have realised they were not there to support and protect me and they were in fact not even true and only caused me even more harm. All my old foundation did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.
I actually learnt all about foundations in a four-hour presentation delivered by Serge Benhayon. The deep gratitude and appreciation I have for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Hierarchy is not something that I can put in words rather it is something I carry in my body and share with all around me.
I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman. These new foundations are the ones I am building upon daily so that I keep growing and expanding the amazingness that is me.
by Anonymous
Related Reading:
Understanding Life, My Choices and Appreciating Me
Wow, reading this reminds me of the abuse we allow and put up with from a very young age. We believe that the foundations we have set are it and can never be changed, and we live in this cycle for a long time thinking there is no way out.
Here is a living example that there is another way to live and from. And how true that these foundations continue to expand everyday. So life is forever expanding and never staying stagnant. Thank you for sharing.
We can make new choices, and live in a way that supports and nurtures us.
Lorraine yes we can live differently, we either say yes to abuse or we say no to it. And in that ‘no’, we are actually saying yes to that which is true and most loving thing for us, we are deserving of love, anything less is just unacceptable.
We have the power to let go of an old false foundation, and to build a new true foundation as Anonymous did, ‘I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.’
A foundation built on hurts has us hurting ourselves further and hurting others. A foundation of love has us loving ourselves more and others equally.
What you share shows how beliefs can find their way into our foundation, affect our relationships and influence so much of what we do that means we don’t live all that we are, this harms us and others in our life. Therefore the opportunity to take a pause and have a look at what has influenced our foundation could offer insight into patterns of behaviour we have considered part of our character but could easily be a reaction to what we have experienced and not our character at all.
I so appreciate you sharing your story and sharing it without a need to sympathy, without throwing out bitterness or resentment. I don’t think I had appreciated how powerful that is until just now.
To have experienced what you did – with no inkling of blame of bitterness – truly remarkable. Thankyou for your sharing. Bringing understanding rather than judgement of another can support us to heal. Serge Benhayon has enabled many of us to make huge changes in our lives.
Serge Benhayon is an inspiration for many people, where would we and the world be without this amazing loving man, ‘The deep gratitude and appreciation I have for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Hierarchy is not something that I can put in words rather it is something I carry in my body and share with all around me.’
Thankyou so much for sharing this powerful blog Anonymous. “I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” This is an inspiration for us all. We don’t need to keep re-creating the past if it doesn’t truly support us.
Anonymous, in your sharing of what happened over the years, it is interesting to feel how all along you knew these things that were happening were not from Love – from the way things happened in your home to the way things happened in relationships and in society etc. This means that on some level you did know Love to the bone. One cannot possibly be dismayed or hurt if we think that the behvaiour (such as abuse or neglect etc) that we are witnessing is actually ‘normal’ and ‘loving’. Because of your devastation and hurt you felt, on some level knew deep within that what you were experiencing as a situation was not Love and was not normal. This is the saving grace, because if you come back to this, then you know you have the strength to walk away from something that is not congruent with what you feel deep within. This you simply needed to be reminded of through Serge Benhayon and his work, for he stands consistently and deeply so beside what he knows to be the Truth with no compromise – this is the inspiration that ignites the same in another when they are ready.
Interestingly we often play a game of blame – seeking to blame someone, be this someone else or ourselves. But in the end it is not about blame, but rather about understanding, accepting and taking true responsibility to be the love that we are and with this lay boundaries and respect at all times with ourselves and other equally so.
When we negate the love we are and the power that we are, we can feel totally disempowered and a victim of life. Begin to lay standards for ourselves from ourselves and we begin to say no to self abuse and abuse that comes towards us from others.
Anonymous, thank you for your sharing in this blog. It can be a huge thing to share such intimate details of what happened throughout your life, the understanding that you have today and the changes you have made to your life already. And a knowing that this is just the beginning. The beginning of the return to Soul.
There is much happening in our current world that is ‘hidden’ behind walls – abuse, rape, domestic violence etc. When one’s self worth is so low as a woman (or man) we accept this behaviour, rather than walking away from it. But worse yet is when a woman allows the more subtler abuse and disrespect and arguments in a home where there is no physical abuse, for this is acceptance of what we know is not a harmonious relationship is what feeds the physical abuse in another relationship. It is time for all of us to say ‘no more’ to any form of disrespect or abuse in our lives from another or from ourselves.
From the darkness there is a way to step into the light.
We can choose to let go of these false beliefs that run and affect our lives and relationships, and stop us from living who we truly are.
A four-hour presentation to change the foundation that paved everything that you have lived and experienced, such is the power of true truth. A true change is possible.
Earlier this morning I wrote to some one I know that we either learn or become victims of life. Your sharing is testimony that we can pull ourselves back, shake off abuse from the past and build new foundations. It is never ever too late and anonymous you are an inspiration.
Our interpretations of scenarios can teach us all the wrong lessons. Or we could observe our surroundings and understand the situation we are in – this brings true learning and growth.
Thank you Anonymous for this extremely honest and powerful blog. The true healing that has occurred for you is very obvious because there is no resentment or bitterness in what you write, just simply the joy of having connected with something greater within yourself. The work of Serge Benhayon allows us to connect deeply with the truth of who we are and this is what sets us free and this is beautifully demonstrated in your blog. Thank you again for what you have shared here.
Resentment and bitterness can hold us prisoner for decades or a lifetime and its toxicity is destructive for for self and others. Anonymous affirms the power of Love and when deeply connected to ‘something greater’ within ourselves we can overcome whatever we experience in life
Yes, and even that word ‘love’ comes with so many pictures that we should consider what our foundation is when it comes to the words we use. Love with an ‘L’ is incredibly power-full because it offers space to bring understanding to be the change we want to see in our lives.
Saying no to what is abusive is indeed saying yes to ourselves and rebuilding our own self worth.
Well said Jennym, and we can add to that – it is a challenge to say no to abuse when the rest of society accepts the abuse. This certainly tests anyone’s resolve with the backlash that can ensue – the backlash is often confirmation of the true choice we have made.
What comes up for me here is how many ‘false foundations’ i had in life, how I would rely on a foundation only to find out it would let me down, I also made some foundations everything even though they were clearly not true or loving or supportive in any way. The more I build through the everyday, foundations that are true the greater simplicity and at easement, I feel in my body. That is the gift I know I can choose for me.
It is a beautiful realisation to understand that whatever our foundation of love is, we will not go beneath it. For example, when I was younger i used to throw up my food if i thought i had too much or wanted to lose weight. The panic will prevail, so I often used to binge and then run to the toilet to purge – a constant cycle. But a couple of years ago i decided that enough of that behaviour is enough and so decided to seek a way to stop it. In that, i started to change little thing, like being more aware of my feelings, keeping a journal etc. and although i haven’t been doing that for more than 3 years now, only recently i realised that I have a foundation of love which i will not go below. Regardless of how intense my day has been, how horrible i feel – whether I am in my peak or in my troph I know that i love my body way more than to allow this sort of abuse. It is very empowering and leaves me knowing that regardless of what my abuse is at the moment, one day that will no longer be part of my life.
What a turnaround you have had from abuse to self-love, you have shown us that it is possible to heal any deep hurts and abuse with true love and care.
Good grief what an experience of life you have been given and the fact that you mastered the lessons is amazing and from anxiousness, fear, lovelessness and mistrust you are building a true foundation built on true love. For many of us meeting Serge Benhayon was also pivotal turning point in our lives, he has supported thousands of people to re-evaluate and/or rebuild their lives.
Anon, reading this blog I cannot help but feel your strength and courage in giving yourself permission to deeply heal the wounds of the past. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, this highlights how a false foundation built on fear can allow abuse to fester and grow, whereas when we build a foundation based on love and truth, it will only allow love and truth into our life and anything below this standard would crumble away. And, you have shown us that it is never too late to build a new foundation that is void of fear but full of love.
This is very extreme Anonymous. What a life that will endeavourly lead to abuse. I can relate … but not so obvious like yours but extreme in a more subtle way .. that I absorbed much of the abuse I had around me especially in my family as they were the one’s you look up to — I was tortured by family. You have no where to go when this goes on. All I can say is thank God, and the stars, for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that reflected the truth and love to me that I was able to pull myself up and out of this internal self-abuse addiction. My story will be one day written also…
I love how much you continue to learn from life – no matter how bad it is. It’s very inspiring to read no bitterness or anger at such awful experiences but instead an openness to take responsibility for your part and to learn and change and grow. Amazing – thank you.
Yes, well said Meg, this blog is written without blame, bitterness, or anger and it gives the readers space to also learn and be inspired without an ounce of invitation for sympathy. When the truth is expressed it opens up inspiration and learning for everyone who is open to receive it.
Our foundations are what we will not go below, they’re a standard and once we’ve built a solid foundation we have a solid stance to step on. The building of that is a building of true confidence.
The levels of abuse can be overt or subtle but either way the body knows that what is lived in not the love that we all know is available if we choose to make each movement about love.
From what you have shared to this – “I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman. These new foundations are the ones I am building upon daily so that I keep growing and expanding the amazingness that is me” Is nothing short of amazing and the turn around you achieved in your life from the inspiration that is Serge Benhayon.
Such a powerful blog – thankyou for sharing . “It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.” Yes and so many of us have done this. Thanks to the heavens for Universal Medicine to enable us to open our eyes.
Inspiring how easily, in the end, you’ve been able to look at your foundations and what they’re based upon, making the choice and commitment to discard anything that isn’t truly part of you. It takes commitment, but first of all a lot of honesty to do this: to look deeply at what we’ve created and based our life on, and why.
Abuse is a wide avenue, through which we can ride forever. The more we ride in it, the more we find situations and characters that confirm that we deserve otherwise. There is no end to this, unless we resurrect ourselves out of it and change course. One day, humanity will know that Universal Medicine is the main player in the business of resurrection.
When we re-connect to who we are and begin to live from this place, we can change so much about how we live. Once we connect to our worth and value, this comes first rather than what we have lead ourselves to believe.
How deeply touching, I literally have no words. To read that after a lifetime of such horrible abuse, you are able to turn around and say “I can love myself” is nothing short of a wonderful miracle.
This inspires us to see that we are always worthy of love no matter what our past or present looks like, love is who we are and we can live this anytime in our life and say no to abuse.
I am sure so many of us can relate to what you have shared here, I sure can. “From this I learnt: I had to be very valuable to people”. But sadly, in the process of making ourselves valuable to others we often overlook how valuable we are to ourselves. Do we really treasure ourselves for the beautiful, amazing and valuable beings we naturally are or do we allow others to determine that for us?
That’s a fairly intense story to read let alone live. I’d love to hear more about what happened in those 4 hours of presentation by Serge Benhayon that it could reset years of abuse.
Profound:
“Only recently did I realise that:
I had this foundation, and
It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.”
We grow and we numb ourselves to hurts we have and we build up this false foundation….which is in fact based on our hurts and reactions to life. It is staggering the changes that can occur when we are honest about this and begin to let go of the hurts that have shrouded us.
The truth of our inner essence can not be denied when reading this article.
This article is one of the most inspiring that I have read. It is all too easy to remain forever in the cycle of abuse, wether that be to the extreme as shared above or on more subtle levels. To be one that steps away from such experiences and infact grows from them is deeply, deeply humbling, as it shows there is nothing that can keep one stuck, but the choices we make.
“I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves.” What a great gift and blessing you give to humanity.
Wow. This is so powerful. I have to say I felt very uncomfortable reading it. I could feel the snowball effect of a foundation forming process that keeps confirming and reinforcing itself as it grows and grows even though none of it is true. It explains really well why we would develop certain behaviour and a pattern, and how trapping that is. And this could be something relatively small, an everyday thing, even a way I look at someone, can be because of a foundation I have built and I can feel the poison I have allowed in over lifetimes to find myself as I am today, and that is not so pleasant to feel.
I agree, it is no surprise I am reading this tonight, as I too am feeling the consequences of living my life from false foundations. And yes, it is very unpleasant to feel. But very inspiring, as the false foundations are steadily being let go of and new true foundations being stepped into.
Yes this blog is such an awesome example of how we can build a reality and a code to live by that denies who we truly are. I also felt uncomfortable with some of what has been shared for I know that this is happening all the time across the globe and humanity is giving up and selling out. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and everything he has brought and for all those that, like yourself, are freeing themselves of false foundations of abuse. Respecting ourselves and loving ourselves and having the sense to get support in this when needed enables us to turn this around and show that there is, for sure, another way.
Life offers us continual lessons – it’s up to us to react in fear or see the bigger meaning that is there. We celebrate Christmas – one day when we get presents but the way love offers us gifts every moment, we often miss.
What you have shared about our foundations is absolute gold. A false foundation can feel very real and yet when we can see it for what it is, it crumbles away leaving us free to build a true one.
This is an incredible story – horrendous and truly inspiring. I’m in awe of you Anonymous. You have shown that no matter what we experience in life, we always have the choice to let it go and heal.
What an extraordinary story of trauma and healing. It is remarkable that such a change can occur and that it is sustainable.
Which, to me, also goes to show how amazing the presentations by Serge Benhayon are.
Lessons in unlovableness seem to be the norm for life today. And what is therefore so utterly and brilliantly amazing about Universal Medicine is how this organisation simply presents that perhaps you are love already and so all those life lessons that teach you otherwise simply aren’t true so maybe you don’t need to listen to them and their mean ways of classroom instruction. You can be the love that you are and this doesn’t mean being weak or uncommitted to life. It simply means being yourself in all that you do. Which is beautiful.
‘I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman.’ Beautiful to read, you now have a true foundation after the many years of abuse you have had, your story is very supportive and inspiring and shows us it is possible to heal from anything and move forward when we begin to truly love ourselves.
You had so many mixed messages and abusive and contradictory experiences growing up anonymous that what you considered normal was actually abnormal but unfortunately, are experiences that is all too common for too many of us in this present day and age. The question is as a collective society what are we going to do with this awareness and how are we going to collectively correct it?
Wow – so many things you experienced would be life-destroying to many people. I think often we confuse our foundation as part of us, instead of something that can be taken apart and rebuilt, and no matter what’s happened it’s never too late to begin to build a solid, truly loving, incredibly truthful, always developing foundation.
Anonymous this is such a deeply moving and powerful story of your life and so inspiring to read about the changes from you realisations you have experienced about what is created from our hurts.
“It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts”.
A powerful story that reveals that there is another way to live.
Being left provides the biggest alibi ever to leave ourselves
Feeling your loving connection to the glorious essence of you is truly healing for us all, thank you.
Wow, Anonymous. This is an amazing story of transformation. The simple, gigantic realisation that your foundations were not there to support and protect you is a game changer in and of itself. To then accept they were in fact not even true and only caused you even more harm is gathering all those ideals and beliefs up in one fell swoop and whilst saying ‘be gone!’ acknowledging that you are no longer the victim and are taking full responsibility for your choices. You rock!
When life teaches us ‘the hard way’ we get bent out of shape. When we embrace what we are here to read and learn it helps us return to our innate loving nature. Thank you Anonymous.
Thank you for sharing all that you have learnt, I can’t quite fathom how this is possible when I feel the connection I have with my daughter yet what you have shared is the depth of false foundation, the abuse so many people myself very much included, go through, and then the difference self love makes. Very inspiring changes.
Thank you Anonymous, we think that abuse’s greatest harms are the blows and bruises that are delivered. But what about the beliefs and ideals that are engrained into our everyday? Like walking around with a bullet wound under our skin, it’s effecting us all the time and rarely healed. Believing we are not worth loving or that others should rescue us from our choices – these ideas are poisonous afflictions that trap us for so long.
Thank you Anonymous, looking back we say that we learnt – but did we really? It seems more to me that we suffered and reacted to life events, drawing conclusion to protect us from getting hurt again. But our sums are all wrong, because there is a missing part of life – energy. It seems to me that it’s only when we start reading this and why things occur that we actually learn something of worth.
Interesting to consider that many people, including me, are looking for ways of support to confirm that what we feel is not right while in fact we know it is not right and from there have the tendency to adjust our feelings and protect and bury our hurts instead.
Powerful article that shows what is possible when we stand for truth and not allow ‘our’ beliefs and hurts (as seemingly justifiable as they appear) to create our lives. I can’t imagine not feeling devastated by the abuse you share here and yet you show it is possible to rebuild a true foundation, one based on love. Inspiring and thank you for sharing.
Once we recognise all that is happening in our lives, we can make new choices, and say no to abuse, and start building a loving relationship with ourself, a new foundation, ‘I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman.’
This is so true Elizabeth, when choosing our new foundation we set standards that we will never drop below, and how great to have understanding and renounce your old foundation anonymous, ‘All my old foundation did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.’
The wonderful thing about setting new foundations is that we get to set standards that we know we will never go below. This is so empowering.
Absolutely empowering, what we do not accept cannot play with us.
What a story and a great reflection that nothing can put out our spark.
It is a true gift you have given us here, Anonymous, thank you.
The more honest we get, the more we allow ourselves to see the parts of our lives that aren’t true, the beliefs and pictures we’ve been holding onto about how life is and how we need to be in it to survive. Letting go of these layers, one by one, is a steady process of nominating the what is not true, by connecting to that inner part of us that just knows what is true and what is not, and also through the reflections of others who we can feel are already living what is true for them.
It’s quite astounding how we can accept the unacceptable – and equally, how we can turn it around.
Very true Victoria, this blog reminds us of the power we all have to resurrect ourselves out of any damaging or harming situation.
It feels like a really important part of the healing process to be able to conduct a stocktake of our lives and the critical incidents in it, allowing ourselves to acknowledge and feel what’s there to be felt in order to let it go.
Wow – this is making me question a lot of my perceptions of life.. at the moment I am looking for a new job, and the one thing that seems to be in the way is that I feel like I don’t deserve a well paid job, that money is not accessible and that I should always be struggling for money. I grew up in a family that was quite poor, and the struggle for money has always been there. But now that I am living on my own, I know I can change that.
What an amazing testimony to the fact that no matter where we’ve been, we can come back to us and be the amazingness we are. Your realisation that your foundation was had created from your hurts is huge and one that applied to so many of us. Do we still live based on our hurts and protections or do we live from the love we naturally are?
The biggest lesson I have learnt is that no-one is able to abuse us. It is we who make the choice to allow energies that abuse us into our bodies, therefore there is never any one to blame.
This is an incredible story, one I can not even begin to fathom experiencing myself. Your choice to finally put an end to all that was destroying you is an absolute miracle. You are the absolute proof that there is such thing as choice and that there is enormous power in re-connecting with oneself.
As we walk around in life we really have no idea of the trauma and distress that the people we walk next to in the street, or work alongside have experienced, or are experiencing. If we knew would we have more understanding for why they behave as they do. If we had true understanding would we see we all have an opportunity to change the many levels of abuse including self-abuse we all live with.
A deeply appreciated sharing – thank you. It offers and reveals so much and is very supportive to read what is possible and that familiar and repeated patterns and beliefs don’t have to lock us in to accept any behaviour that isn’t loving in integrity and intention.
Wow this is an incredible sharing of a truly horrendous abusive life and yet there is not a millimetre of victim in any of the words, you can feel you have taken full responsibility even in the face of overwhelming violence. I am deeply inspired to set myself free of the ideas and pictures that surely keep me from being the love that I am as I have no where near the level of pain and hurt you have experienced yet I still imprison myself. Very inspiring thank you very much for sharing.
This is an extreme article and hard to believe this is one persons life. From how it was to how it is is more than a dramatic turn around and shows the strength of what choices you can make regardless of what the past has bought to you and how things have been. I say this with respect to this article as what I have read here was obviously deeply traumatising to more then just one. It more reads like a movie then someones life and opens me up further to appreciate everything that sits around me. Not in a comparison to another but more to know that life is always much bigger then our mind holds and there is always something to appreciate. Not that you disregard what has happened, you feel it all but you also bring in something to appreciate. For me no matter what is occurring appreciation brings in a part for me to stand on and see, it’s like it holds long after. In fact appreciation I have made time for as a part of my everyday, it’s not a looking at the world through rose coloured glasses but a practical approach to my day that actually works with me and for me.
This is GOLD, you are living proof we don’t have to be defined by what has happened to us, no matter how traumatic and deeply wounded we are. I am so glad to read about your healing and how awesomely you have done to have made the steps to face life and reimprint it. A true hero. Thank you for writing this.
An incredible insightful read that shows so clearly how we form foundations and beliefs from our experiences and how little we can challenge these foundations and in many cases, live a life much less than who we truly are. Your story is nothing short of one the most amazing miracles. To come from such abuse to being able to live your life from the true foundation of being the strong, confident, loving, exquisite woman you are, is a real testament to you, and the power of The Way of the Livingness, as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
This is an awesome blog for you have told us how you have been able to turn your life around by looking at your past foundation and how it was made and how everything built on that foundation could not truly support you because it was basically false. This is something we can all do for ourselves . We can all create a new foundation, a true foundation, and this is where Universal Medicine presentations and having sessions with it’s practitioners can be of huge assistance.
Your past experiences read like the worst horror story and yet there is no drama or emotion in what you share which is nothing short of extraordinary. The lessons you have learned apply to us all and if you can put these lessons to work there is no reason why anyone else can not. You show love and healing all spring from a simple choice. Absolutely amazing.
“I had this foundation, and it was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.”
From your blog it is clear that these two points were crucial turning points in your life. Also that depending on the quality of your foundation the rest has the potential to either build you or debilitate you.
I am struck and speechless, to see how abuse is thriving in so many levels is devastating.
An incredibly powerful story Anonymous, thank you for sharing this insight into domestic violence so openly and honestly. Turning around the cycle of abuse is not at all easy, but taking responsibility for what we create in our lives is clearly a very significant part of the process.
A very powerful blog that offers many women that are caught in the cycle of abuse that you were in Anonymous. When we have little or no self worth, when our life reflects everything back to us that we are not worth caring about, then it becomes the foundation from which we build our lives, and abuse of any kind can be so much more easily be accepted. What you show is that through our experiences in life we create the life we choose, and it is only through making different choices that we can get out of the rut that we have created for ourselves.
What we pick up as we grow up concerning our worth or not can be significant for how we respond to relationships in adulthood. I can still feel that I seek acknowledgement, or to be really seen by others and want that confirmation from the outside, rather than know me for myself without need from another. With this choice, the layers unfold and I let go, of the hurts that I have accumulated and become able to appreciate what is already there,lived and known is more than enough.
Such a powerful testimony of turning your life around. It only takes a choice back to love, the honesty and acceptance of our life and our choices in absoluteness is a choice to begin to live what is our true power.
For many, Anonymous, your story will represent the worst that can happen in life. What a powerful account you have therefore provided the world. It demonstrates that with true support and understanding we can heal from even the most nightmarish of situations. This is not about promulgating ‘hope’ but the power of examining how we have arrived where we have arrived with a great deal of honesty. Thank you deeply for this beautiful offering.
Only yesterday I was talking to a woman about whether or not it was possible to live a life without the scars from the past impacting on the present. This is a beautiful sharing of how a new foundation can be built on what is true in us, however battle scarred we may be, that it can be done. Thank you.
It is truly healing to read how you can come out of a life that you lived feeling unblemished and full of commitment to living a life that supports you in every way. It is very healing to read it is all about a choice to live from a false of true foundation and that when I make the choice to live from this true foundation the past can be let go of. Thank you.
I agree Lieke, the choice to live from a true foundation of love is all empowering and life changing.
Wow what a story Anonymous, thank you for sharing this with us, even though it’s an absolute story of abuse. But to feel that you have kept strong and you knew that there had to be something more (unaware at times) once you started to feel that there was a truth. A truth you now have chosen to heal your way, and see that those hurts are not actually you, but a set of experiences, you now can heal or have healed. Beautiful, truly beautiful. A new marker in you for life!
Thank you Anonymous for sharing your story and your wisdom, I really appreciate your courage and your commitment to build a new foundation;
“I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman”.
Incredible proof that our light can never be put out… it does not matter what has come before for at any moment you can choose to create a true foundation that supports you to come back to and be all you are… and then live from that.
Thank you for your open sharing without the usual blame of what has happend to you. What an amazing turn around. That you are capable to see how you have been living from false foundations shows the enormous power of true love that lives inside us all and the moment we choose to make this our foundation miracles happen every day.
I really appreciated the way you explored the beliefs you took on from childhood onwards, this has really supported me to look at these myself. One of the things that really stuck out to me is how we do feel a truth inside, otherwise the abuse would have nothing to make it feel like abuse, there is a an inextinguishable something inside that these things rub up against, that provides a marker for what is true and what is not. No matter what life dishes out we still have the chance to hold onto this, to keep returning to it, to know there is more. Despite the odds stacked against you, you were able to come back to this, to the true you inside – amazing.
Thank you Anonymous for the gift you are giving to every person that reads this blog – This precious, fragile, tender and loving centre you write of is held within each of us and no matter the trauma and pain that passes through our lives, this centre is who we truly are, all we have to do is claim it and it will be the foundation from which we can move for the rest of our lives – Thank you.
Thank you anonymous for writing your story here and showing how it is possible to understand what false foundations we may have built our lives on to protect ourselves, and to start to let these go. Giving ourselves permission and choosing to be aware of the choices we have made and why we have made them, allows us to start to let go of these false foundations and understand who we truly are, underneath all the layers of protection.
What a massive turnaround in your awareness, and what an incredibly honest sharing that exposes how we are the ones that create our own prison. Becoming aware and building on our own truth allows us to see what lies we have allowed to be our truth. This is such a valuable learning you have shared.
A huge and powerful turn around in your life Anonymous. Discovering that you ” could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” – such a massive shift. Changing the energy we draw from and align to can change everything in our lives. Thankyou for sharing your story.
You made a point Anonymous that supports the fact that the energy we agree to manifests into our reality. ” All my old foundations did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences toward me.” Once you were presented another way you changed your experience by changing the energy and choosing a different way. That’s a huge lesson for all to know we have the power within to make changes and establish new foundations.
What a huge transformation Anonymous, a self transformation, one full of developing a foundation that is based love and not hurts. If we have a foundation based on love, learning to let go of our hurts being super important and learning to embrace all of who we are.
We often think the foundations we have in our life are the only way they can be, if we had a troubled childhood, we think that is what we have to live from. As you so eloquently describe, we can when we choose rebuild our foundations so they are loving, and supportive. We have the choice.
A harrowing a powerful sharing made all the more amazing by having just read your subsequent blog in which you share with us how your life has been transformed through your choices as a result of inspiration from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Stunning.
Such a powerful story you have blessed us with here Anonymous, thank you it is deeply appreciated. I love the way you took responsibility and made choices that transformed your life. I also am inspired by your openness to learn lessons from life’s brutal knocks.
A powerful story of losing trust in others and in yourself and the frightening consequences of domestic violence. The true foundation of love was there for you to connect to and heal the pain of past abuse.
I am still taking in the enormity of your life story, not only did you live through all these horrific experiences that would leave most people in a heap but you were brave enough to write in a public arena, brave enough to recognise that you are more than your trauma, brave enough to know that through writing a deeper unexplainable healing occurs, for the writer and the reader, thank you from the deepest part in my heart.
Its an incredible story of repeated abuse, but the true marvel is that the real you is always there no matter what has happened, and that can be connected to. When that happens love is available, and the body has an incredible ability to heal its traumas. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Unbelievable story Anonymous.. Despite all the trauma (emotional and physical) and false foundations that were set up, you show that it is very possible to re-turn back to love, back to being the tender, beautiful, sensitive, strong and Sacred woman that you are today and have always been. Thank you for sharing your incredible story, You are very inspiring.
I have so much appreciation and admiration for you Anonymous. Your story, whilst sad and painful, is a wonderful example of transformation, healing, love and responsibility. You are an amazing inspiration and indeed beautiful;
“I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity”.
This is such a sad but powerful sharing and i appreciate the honesty shown here. You have shown that when we build our foundation on love that true healing is possible. I hope you appreciate how truly amazing you are.
Wow what a transformation Anonymous and you share your story with such honesty that is deeply healing to read. Universal Medicine and all it presents is incredibly supportive and truly healing for anyone who has experienced any level of trauma or abuse in their lives, learning to build a new foundation that is loving and true for you has been key to healing your hurts and moving forward – what an inspiration and support you are to anyone who has had similar experiences.
Anonymous this is a very deep and honest sharing that will help so many to understand that no matter what happens in our lives we have a the ability to change the outcome through looking within and recognizing the beauty and love that we are. No one can take away that love!
Thank you so much for writing this blog. It offered me a moment to stop and see that, no matter what happens to us in our lives, we have the opportunity to build our own foundation. There is much more awareness about domestic violence now and many of the things you shared have been addressed by the system, but to be honest, it is painful to realise what was once normal.
This blog shows so beautifully that we do not need to be victims, irrespective of whatever horror we may have experienced. Within us is a beauty and power that is far greater than anything the world can throw at us and we all can access this. It is just one choice away and that choice is to re-connect to our divinity.
Thank you for delineating all the events that led up to your abusive marriage and the subsequent events that kept you there which paint such a powerful picture of the reality of domestic abuse. That you have been able to turn around the false foundation that you had built to try and protect yourself and are now appreciating the awesome woman that you are is testament to the healing that is available to us all if only we are willing to be open to it.
Incredible journey of your life. I can not even imagine what you have had to endure. Inspiring more so, how you have returned to your truth after such a life time of abuse and loveless upbringing. It is confirming that our light and love is stronger than the illusion of disregard.
what an incredibly powerful story – and an true insight into the world of domestic violence. We should not pretend that it does not occur, nor close ourselves off to the depth of corruption that exists deep within society. Thank you.
It’s an absolute testament to yourself that you’ve been able to claim back in full the extraordinary and loving woman that you are and always have been with the support of Universal Medicine and its’ practitioners.
Something wonderful about having foundations in life is that we can place in to them whatever we want. As this blog shows, we can make abuse a fundamental part of our lives, and we can also make self-love an even greater fundamental part of our lives. The choice is there to be made because we have the free-will to choose and to make life be what it will be for ourselves. Personally, having tried and lived with both aspects, I can fundamentally say that self-love rocks.
I have just read this extremely powerful and eye-opening blog again and am deeply appreciating how, by you sharing all of your experiences, we now have the opportunity to understand what abuse is and to see just how many of the baseline foundations for it to occur are laid during one’s childhood years.
Generally there’s a tendency to brush off small incidents – to see them simply as a one off, however, your blog shows just how damaging each single one has been in its own right and then the way they all added up to create just how abusive your life as an adult eventually became.
A jaw-dropping account of the construction of a foundation that shaped the rest of your life. There’s such clarity in how your beliefs were formed and solidified and how your old foundation kept you ‘in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.’ This is a profound sharing and a real gift to others to consider reviewing what false and damaging beliefs we may each be harbouring that have been responsible for the way our experience of life has become.
To have come to a place where you realised that the foundations you had built as a child were for protection from all that was happening to, and around you, is so very inspiring. It would have been easy to have stayed living (existing) from that unsupportive foundation, but instead you have embraced a new way of living, and, with your commitment to heal the many hurts of the past, no longer do they have free rein to rule your life.
What you have shared with us in this blog Anonymous is the story of a very courageous, honest and loving woman. I truly appreciate your transformation and self-loving choices you have made. What you have achieved for yourself, and thus for others, is so inspirational.
Agreed Shirl. Where ‘Anonymous’ has come to in her life is indeed remarkable. This story is showing me clearly that we are the ones who, for various reasons, create our own walls of protection. However what we can overlook is that we have an even greater power and this is that via building self love we have the capacity to bring those walls down and redefine ourselves. This process is not necessarily easy in reality but just even recognising that love is much stronger than fear and all the ideals and beliefs we have built up, is a great starting point.
I cannot but feel Anonymous how all your life’s experiences have been exacerbated by the flippant and irresponsible comments, actions and behaviours of others and how pivotal they were to feeding your daily struggle that only further confirmed your lack of self worth. This then opens the Pandoras box of what pain, sadness and hurts those people hold within them from their own lives to behave in such a way that hurts you. Further, when you actually stop and consider hurt like this you cannot but help realise that our modern day society is in quite the mess and definitely trapped in this vicious circle – I am hurt or feeling vulnerable and anticipating that I may be hurt so I hurt you… round and round it goes and the patterns of these behaviours persists unmercifully. But, most of all your blog has clearly illustrated to me how pivotal we all are in making or breaking others lives by how we interact and connect with them. This has also made me realise that the responsibility we all have to care for and rebuild each other is huge and its time we all stepped up and realised this fact.
I have come to realize a lot of what you have about my past… That the abuse from my childhood caused me to put myself in more abusive relationships… Once I realized this pattern, I became so afraid of everyone around me, especially romantic interests. It still seems as though any time I do allow somebody in, I end up being wrong about them and they end up being abusive or dangerous… This makes me go right back into my shell because I’m terrified… I want so badly just to be loved and accepted and not put up with abuse, but it feels like I can’t get away from it… I don’t want to be the victim anymore, but at the same time, I’m afraid I’ll find myself in more dangerous relationships if I start letting people back in. I don’t know how to stop being afraid!
Hi Harley,
I found the starting point was to switch of the thoughts that I was useless, no-good etc that was on replay on the tape recorder in my mind, and replace the thoughts when I caught them with things I knew to be true about myself (even if I only knew this from hearing other people say so) such as my strength, care for others, genuineness. After practice and time I know how amazingly beautiful I am all the time!!!
The next step was starting to take care of my needs, was I hungry, tired, need a jumper. I also brought in ways of living that made daily life more manageable, living within my means, pre-cooking meals if time required it so I wouldn’t be rushed in the evening and I could give myself time to wind down and reflect on my day and how I had treated myself that day. I had to make sure I was very loving with myself while making all these changes as otherwise I would end up berating myself for not being perfect rather than appreciating myself for wanting to care for myself.
The more I cared for myself the less I attracted people who where abusive, and if they did show up in my life my in-built abuse radar would warn me to steer clear. My radar as I call it is my six sense, the more I chose to follow though on a “feeling” the greater the awareness my feelings would share with me. So I no longer live in fear.
Eventually I was able to Love myself and now I am in-Love with myself and enjoy myself immensely and only have loving relationships that support me. It is sooo possible and I feel like I am only at the very beginning of Joy in my life… and it already blows my mind!!
Basically I went from hating myself, to liking myself to truly deeply loving myself and appreciating myself… believe it or not I had so much love for myself I didn’t need it off others. But the more I loved myself the more I attracted people who were also loving.
I hope this supports you Harley J
Lots of Love
Anonymous
Every moment of our life is here as a learning, teaching and showing us more about our relationship to love. Yet you illustrate perfectly Anonymous when we let the hurts get in the way, the learning gets twisted into lassos that lacerate our very being.
This is a truly inspiring sharing Anonymous – you’ve proven undoubtedly that we create our reality based on the quality of our choices.
so many people have ended up feeling very disempowered in life in general, and to read the story again about someone who has let go of such old and embedded paradigms is a great inspiration for many people.
Thank you so much Anonymous for writing this incredible blog. It is a true service you have offered, as it selflessly expresses how capable we are of true greatness. In highlighting all you have of what you learnt through each experience of your life, I could feel the depths to which you have examined and uncovered such hurts to reveal the truth that lay within, thank you again.
It seems amazing that after all the abuse you suffered that you are still able to find the gorgeous light within you and begin from a true foundation rather than from the sadness and hurts of your life. That you can do this just proves that we can turn things around and find the love that we are at any stage and from any situation. The essence of love is always there to bring out the beautiful, cherishable, loveable woman you are.
This is a great example of how you can go from having a foundation built on hurt to one built on love, a new foundation can be laid any time and it is never too late.
We have such a habit as human beings of blaming the outside world for how we see ourself – and sure, we must always observe how we have allowed ourselves to be affected by a society that does not meet us for how we are – but at the end of the day we need to learn to be responsible for our own love.
Yes this is the answer to all our woes.
Always ‘blaming the outside world for how we see ourselves’ and for how our life has unfolded gets us so preoccupied with our hurts that we fail to see our true essence of love and potential that lies within. What a horrid game we have created for ourselves.
Anonymous you have deepened my understanding about foundations through your candid analysis of the false foundations you created as a protection from the extreme abuse you suffered in your life. A truly inspiring story, and very on topic with current political and media discussion on domestic violence.
The light that is held within is very powerful and what your blog has delivered to me is that this light can not be put out, it is powerful and always deeply loving and holding of who we truly are – Thank you Anonymous for the gift you have brought to us all in sharing the power of your connection to ‘you’.
Yes nothing can touch or put out the inner light, how powerful it is, how powerful we are when connected to this inner light and finally how beautiful we all have this inner light and power.
Yes the light we are inside can never be put out or disappear and when we make the choice to connect back to the amazingness that we are it gives us the power to overcome whatever there was in our lives, such as the abuse Anonymous shared with us. Truly amazing and extremely powerful.
How amazing is it that our inner light can not even be slightly dampened by things that occur in our lives. While reading your comment I realised it is always there waiting for us to reconnect until we get to a place where we have moments of this connection and then days, months, years and finally lifetimes. What a beautiful realisation.
Thank you anonymous for sharing your journey, you have displayed an enourmous amount of strength and resolve to deal with and overcome so many traumatic events in your life. Its quite miraculous the power of love.
Wow, reading this blog has made me stop. The degree of abuse is very disgraceful, absolute horrific, I was shocked reading this. So reading how Anonymous has reflected on her abusing past end no longer let it effect her is incredible full of strength. And to see what incredible power she holds as she is now claiming herself back and all of her grandness – that to me is incredible, a miracle. A true example of how to change your life from abuse to self love. I mean if she can, we can all. I wish everyone knew about Serge Benhayon and know how to claim themselves back, even in situations like these.
This blog has woken me up, we all need to speak out we all need to go to court and sue people who abuse, we need to speak our truth – the whole truth and not hold back . As this holding back (even the slightest form) is adding to the enormous abuse that is allready going on or had taken place. I dont want to be part of that – never. Therefore once we read such stories, hear them from people around us or even close, we need to take action and let everyone know that this abuse is not accepted and should never be tolerated, only stopped and immediately adressed by government, our society, police, court, law etc.etc. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE PART OF STOPPING ABUSE IN ANY WAY. This is OUR TIME, it is NOW.
Anonymous I am so thankful that you are expressing your experiences with the world. Your story gives everyone inspiration to observe their foundations and what they are based on. To create new foundations based on love and truth is where we all need to come from. Thank you.
Thank you for this honest sharing Anonymous. It has illustrated that when we are young how the actions of others can impact so severely on us that we develop beliefs that we are no good, not worth anything, have no voice etc, and these beliefs then become our guidelines as we grow, but instead of supporting as to evolve they hold us back, trapped into a life of mere existence. But as you discovered, these beliefs are false signposts that once recognised and acknowledged can be dismantled, making way for the true light of life to shine. And it certainly sounds like those lights are shining brightly for you now thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and most importantly you.
What a powerhouse of a woman you are Anonymous to transform your false foundation into a true foundation is massive. You are not held back by any of your hurts any more. To feel your commitment to show humanity we all have a choice and how we can build a supportive foundation by being honest and feel the strength and wisdom we have, is awesome and truly inspirational.
Yes EXACTLY Annelies, as we are never victims. We are always in truth making choices. This blog reveals that we are responsible for every choice we make and for the foundation we choose in life. The power you have inside , that made it all turn around from an extremely abusive life to a life of love, shows us how powerfull our choices are once we take true commitment and responsibility for ourselves and lives(also if our life has been one of full abuse). We are able to change it, we hold the key to our future , so we can change everything around. Letting go of hurts is the best we can choose, so at least we do not continue to live with them and choose to be free now. Best.
Dear Anonymous I hope that you are truly appreciating the strong and beautiful woman that you are and what you are reflecting to others is so powerful. To have lived the way you have for so many years and to now have strong foundations for living your life in a different and more loving way is extra-ordinary. Thank you for such an honest sharing.
I agree it is lovely that you have shared as your experience is a great reflection for others.
It is so great to read and see how even through such extreme trauma and difficulties there is a part of us that is greater than all of what happens.. and the key to knowing this is the building of a strong foundation for ourselves that can withstand whatever life brings. It might seem a simple approach, but I am learning just how powerful it is.
I find breaking things down to their original simplicity is extremely power-full. Sometimes due to a desire to be more than what I perceive I am I try to go into complexity to show how smart and evolved I am, yet this shows the complete opposite. I have noticed I only desire to be more than what I feel I am when I have disconnected to the true beauty I am, after all there is nothing more beautiful than the inner beauty we are.
Annie I agree, it’s so heart-warming to read that even in the most traumatic of situations there is a part of us that is grander, stronger and untouched. It just goes to show that there is no situation that is ever unrecoverable from.
that’s right Meg, many feel they are broken beyond repair, but if they can be supported to connect to that part within that is whole, and that can never be touched by the trauma and violence in the world, then they will know themselves to be stronger, and grander than anything that has happened to them. And from that place, the healing can begin.
I agree, knowing you are bigger than the biggest thing that’s ever happened to you is so incredibly empowering.
Yes that part that innately know that we all are here to live a life that offers nothing less than a deep commitment of love to ourselves so that this can be reflected to others.
The key here is knowing ourselves or should we say return to what we already know about ourselves.
No different to feeling the impact of a illness, loss or any major upheaval in our life that may not look so great but the offering to restart a new foundation is there for the taking.
I can thoroughly relate to these..”I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.” This is great food for pondering. Thank you.
Oh my goodness. What a life story. How does one come back from something as traumatic as this story. And yet there’s worse still out there no doubt. You were blessed to find Serge Benhayon through and through. My most deeply felt section was…”I had this foundation, and It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.The most amazing and simple but powerful thing I learnt was that I had the choice whether to keep living from this false foundation I had made from past experiences/hurts, pain and protection or I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” Although I did have a simple up-bringing without any trauma I have still built my life on a false foundation that wasn’t truly me. This I find incredible. I am so grateful that you shared your story it has deeply moved and inspired me to do what I need to do to change my foundations to a truer expression of me.
Dear Anonymous the most important message of your blog for me is that you now feel how “cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of yourself and humanity.” We can indeed put our hurts behind us if we choose to and rejoin the human family in full to live life the way it is meant to be lived, in joy and love.
To a greater or lesser degree so many people live in a self made prison, feeling a victim of life while the choice to live your true essence is always, always there for us all.
How powerful if you can make a 360 degree turn around from living from your hurts to living from your grace and love. You are a true inspirations for all of us, for you have taken responsibility for your life and the love that you and all can choose the same. Very very powerful.
I agree it is super powerful the level of responsibility and how incredible that is.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing that our foundations can be changed and that it is a choice that is available for everyone regardless of their situation to stand up, detach from and say no to our hurts and the expressions, behaviours, thoughts and situations that keep those hurts hanging around.
What I get from this powerful blog is how abuse can be a pattern we choose to allow throughout our lives. In the many scenarios the common thread here is that abuse has added to hurts, hurts become who we think we are, so we therefore attract more hurts. To come out of this – to stop and say NO is a huge shift in breaking something so familiar.
The moment I said no to abusive relationships – which had been a pattern for over 10 yrs, was the moment I saw myself beyond my hurts, and truly valued who I really was. It has been through the absolute wisdom and support of Universal Medicine that this has been possible.
This is a powerful piece of writing that shows us to live and listen to our inner heart, not to live from fear and from what other people do or say. Not giving our power away to anybody but learn the best as we can from past experiences and knowing to let go of them even if it can be sometimes difficult.
Fear is something that lives in our mind even though there may be a physical reality backing it up. By letting fear have a place in our mind we give it the power to completely decimate us.
I’m totally in awe Anon of how despite the enormous amount of abuse you experienced in your life that you came to the realisation that there was a choice that could be made, to access that deep part of yourself, that knew the truth which then enabled you to pull yourself out of that cycle. This is so inspiring.
Yes Deborah this awareness that Anon had knowing there was more/another way simply proves we all do carry the answers and knowledge within that we are so desperately seeking.
Thank you for writing down your experiences of abuse and how this shaped your life, confirming what you believed to be true, giving you a completely false foundation. This is a powerful account of the fact that we can stop and ask at any time; how did I end up here – is this where I want to keep going? And if I do, where will it end? When we are ready for a true change, the way will open up, just like for you, you found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who supported you to build a new, a true foundation of love for yourself. Your blog is a powerful inspiration, thank you.
Yes I agree Esther and it offers a great opportunity for all those that are stuck thinking there is no way out or any chance for change to realise it is always just there waiting for us to take the steps into rediscovering who it is we truly are.
Thank you Esther…what you add is pertinent to my own life and further supports the need for me to start a fresh foundation and ask those awesome questions.
I am full of admiration of your ability to trace back your hurts, where they came from and their impact on your life. You held some really strong ideals and beliefs, yet saw through their lack of truth, let them go, and choose another way. Truly inspirational!
Yes I agree, truly inspirational in every sense of the word.
It is very healing and humbling for me to re-read, we can easily forget how powerful we are. And exactly how much influence we have on our own lives, we are the only ones in the drivers seat nothing happens without us making it so.
This is such a beautiful sharing Anonymous! How you wrote it, structured it, the message, the unfolding of you truly valuing who you are and the amazing person you are. It is so inspirational, thank you.
Whilst reading your incredibly honest blog Anonymous my eyes welled; I felt such amazing love for the wonderfully courageous and incredibly strong person you are.
Your transformation, after such adversity, is so inspirational and a great testimony to our inner wisdom and divinity.
Anonymous what you share here is incredibly honest and power-full. The abuse you endured throughout your life to now living a life with love and true care is deeply inspiring. What an amazing turnaround you have made through your choices to heal and let go of your hurts and how supportive you are to many other women living with domestic violence and can see no way out.
Through your words Anonymous you helped me break a belief, one that I thought I didn’t carry. Your words ” I learnt that marriage was for life”. I have/had this belief to and I’ve been divorced for 6 years! It’s time to let go of this belief so I can allow another person into my life. I’m still in awe of your words. Thank you so much for sharing.
Good grief Anonymous how you turned your life around is beyond amazing. The ideals and beliefs that you were attached to created such an awful life for you. I am so glad you have found your way and have created a new loving supporting foundation for yourself. It takes a truly strong person to admit that their ideals and beliefs are not true to them.
Your blog is amazing. Such courage and truthfulness. I am deeply inspired to continue to deconstruct my foundation based on hurts. ‘I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.’ Thank you.
What an incredibly powerful transformation. In realising the foundation with which we accept determines that which will be, in setting forth that foundation to be one of love and honour for who we truly are, then anything less than that is not a part of it.
When we become aware of the fact that we actually are living an abusive life and that the foundation we live from is the cause of it, the we have the tools to change and transform our foundation to one of love and truth. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who have assisted me and many others on this journey back to the true foundations we originally belong.
Absolutely Nico the first step of seeing how it really is is one that takes honesty and courage, and can mark the beginning of truly great change and transformation.
It is incredible when we really stop and think about it how the hurts of not being loved are passed down from one generation to the next, almost guaranteeing the same lives and behaviours each time. This would continue forever unless there was a way to heal those hurts for good and cut the chain of human suffering. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have presented to the world a way forward for humanity that actually will put an end eventually to the enormous amount of human suffering that we currently endure and this blog is living proof of this fact.
I love your point here Andrew, and I totally agree. The abuse keeps being passed along down the generations, until someone stops and connects to the fact that it does not have to be that way. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine provide this much needed stop for anybody who is ready to question that it’s ‘normal’ to have abuse in one’s life, and supports us to turn it around to a life filled with love.
Yes I can say from personal experience what Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon offer the world is strongly powerful and life changing. This is exactly what the world needs to evolve.
Wow.…what an article….true evolution and miraculous changes occurring in a persons life. And this occurred through loving inspiration of one who has walked the path to self love and also your true commitment to changing the foundation from which you live. What you share concerning the foundation’s on which we live is so supportive. All it takes is an honest appraisal of where we are at and then commitment to look at building a new foundation. I feel that this has been something that I have experienced, when I make choices and decisions in life they come from a new foundation, I do not have the insecurity and fear that I once did, the choices are now coming from a foundation based in love.
There is such honest and truth in your expression in this blog and I feel how much strength it must have taken to remove yourself from the situations. Each hurt that you described is a miraculous miracle because of who you are and how you are living today. I once would have thought that you could not heal such experiences, truly heal your experiences but that is so not the case. You can truly heal and live a joyful, loving, amazing life.
Dear Anonymous, thank you for your clarity and presentation. I have learnt so much from reading your blog. You have helped me understand how we can take a perspective on what is happening around us and slowly build a prison stone by stone and that instead of keeping us safe, it actually keeps the truth out. Your sharing of ‘foundations’ is very powerful and how when they are false they contribute to to opposite of what truth is, and when the ‘foundation’ is about Love first then they are that solid that nothing can shake them. Your choice to share your experiences as stated – ‘I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves’, has achieved its purpose and is changing peoples lives – Thank you.
Dear Anonymous thank you for sharing your amazing turnaround from a victim of abuse to the true you that could write this blog from a place of total acceptance and love for who you are. Your story is inspirational and shows how self-loving choices can totally transform our lives. You are your own miracle and you have blessed us all.
Wow. Thank you for sharing anonymous. I can’t believe you have gone from how you lived when younger to now. It’s is truly incredible and amazing the power we have to make different choices. Very inspiring.
Thank you for sharing such an amazing clear story of stepping out of the shadows of a false foundation lived to choosing to create a foundation of self love, totally annihilating self abuse.
Thank you anonymous for sharing what you have learnt. That your attitude towards life will directly affect what will happen in your life. That you have to be very careful about what you say to yourself, even if it is not true, because it is energy you make it your reality. No matter what happens we are all divine we all deserve respect and none of us deserve abuse. Deep down we all know this, and to accept anything less means we have overridden our deepest feelings. It is never too late.
Wow what a turn around. I read your blog slowly and I knew you were sharing deeply personal experiences that had shaped your sweet and tender life into something so shocking it’s hard to believe as human beings that we live like this. How uplifting to read where you are now, your positive and honest understanding of the true woman that you are. How liberating for you to be free from all that was not true. Amazing and honours to you for all that you are in truth, beautiful and beloved.
Absolute incredible story of how we can build our beliefs around hurts and the self imposed prison it creates. To then re connect, feel truth and rebuild a new foundation and life of self- care and love. Really inspiring.
What an incredible story, it has left me speechless, amazed and inspired. You are a testament to Universal Medicine and true commitment to love.
This blog is both shocking, inspiring and joyful to read…to hear of such abuse and the consequences that result from decisions made at the time, to then read of the changes you have made to your foundation is a joy, and truly inspirational for others.
It presents the power of self-care and self-love in our relationship with ourselves, and the responsibility we have in our daily choices.
Thank you for your openness and honesty in sharing Anonymous.
Dear Anon, this is a deeply powerful honest and insightful amazing blog. Thank you so much for sharing with the whole world. This will change many peoples lives.
Thank you Anon as, regardless of how thick our pasts are with false ideas and investments, it highlights that we can make the choice that changes everything in our lives. This takes a lot of courage to stand up and not allow the past to dictate the future and build a new foundation for yourself that supports a naturally loving and powerful being. You are a true example of a miracle.
Anonymous I am amazed that you have been able to turn your life around from such abuse and become who you are today. My heart went out to that little girl that you were. That you have been able to connect with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and in turn to your innermost where Love always abides is amazing.
Regardless of how thick our pasts are with false ideas, beliefs and investments, the curses of ourselves and others, jealousy and horrific abuse, control and adversity – we can move on from this, heal in full, Trust and Love and Live a life of our choosing.
Thank you Anon. Your blog highlights that we can make a choice that changes everything in our lives. Your story is really incredible and the re-imprinting of the ‘old patterns’ is definitely possible, you have proven this beyond any doubt.
It’s a miracle when you have the start in life you did and find that underneath you are and I quote, ‘I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity’. This is a great example that life does not have to continue in the same vein.
As a child of 8 you were amazingly connected and all knowing. You cannot discount how extraordinary it was that you knew to be at your mother’s as she was leaving … The truth cannot be kept from you. This just goes to show how living from our hurts masks the extraordinary beings that we are. Recognising these hurts are not us, assists in our ability to see them for what they are and let them go. You are a glorious living testament to this fact Anon, thank you.
Change is always in front of us based on the choices we make at every moment. A hugely powerful fact that we can forget sometimes.
This blog shows that strength.
This is a great testimony of the love we are holding inside of us. Regardless of the abuse, we can in each moment choose to make true love our foundation and live from there. This is such a great sharing and an amazing support to read to understand that there is nothing on the outside that is bigger than who we truly are.
What you share is so inspiring. You have chosen such courage to share all that has happened to you and how you have chosen to honour yourself in creating a new and loving foundation for you and your children.
‘From this I learnt that: I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity’.
So beautiful – yes, you are a strong, sassy, caring awesomely beautiful woman. x
I love how you have exposed here how it is our foundation, that if it is not supporting, can make our lives a pretty big misery. But that it is also very possible to change your life around by creating a supportive foundation for yourself.
Reading the part ‘Learning I didn’t Matter…’ helped me to understand why we sometimes, or some of us often, have such difficulties to ask for help. If we feel ashamed of ourself and not worthy it is very unlikely that we naturally would ask for help, it is then only in dire situations where we feel we do not have another option but to reach out.
So true Esther, it is very hard to ask for help if there is a lack of self worth. The believes that cover this up are: I have to be strong, I can manage on my own, etc. We pride ourselves that we are tough enough to deal with things and prove that we can survive. But we loose out big time, because we loose the connection to our preciousness and our sacredness, which leads to lack of self worth in the first place. It is a vicious cycle we need to make a deliberate choice to free ourselves from, as is beautifully described in this blog.
You have shown us the past does not have to dictate the future and true healing is possible … Very inspirational !!
I love this blog and have read it many times as it shows no matter what the suffering and the false platform a person may have started with, it doesn’t have to continue in the same way and that it is possible to build your own solid foundation. You are proof of this Anonymous.
To have finally been able to build a new foundation to replace the one of pain and hurt that you had experienced for so long is so very inspirational. It is amazing and supportive to know that we always have a choice to change, and even though that choice may be very daunting and challenging, it is always there to be made; and from that choice to change miracles can occur. Thank you for this most powerful and honest sharing of your journey. You are a true example of a miracle.
It is indeed possible to build a new foundation. It takes courage to see first that the initial self-made foundation is based on pain and hurt. Then it takes courage to, choice by choice, replace it with more loving foundational stones. And all of a sudden all these stones make up a platform of love. That is what I read in your story.
From this incredible sharing I understand more deeply how we build habits and behaviours to protect ourselves from hurts; behaviours which then lead us to make choices in life where we actually attract the terrible situations we are seeking to move away from. To be as honest as you have been to see these foundations you built were unsupportive and then to make other choices rather than remain a victim is nothing short of a miracle. How powerful, inspirational and truly incredible you are.
I too have received awareness and incredible support from Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Ancient Wisdom which have helped me like you turn around my life.
It’s interesting to see ginadunlop that we seem to form these foundations of ideals and beliefs at a young age and continue to build upon them until we choose love. We take them on through the actions, or words of adults. Adults not believing us or saying things such as boys only want to get into your pants, affects us as children. As adults we need to be so responsible and careful of what we say and do around children as they could create an ideal or belief from us. How horrible is that, that we could affect someone’s life like that.
Such an important point Lindell and throws responsibility right back to us in every moment in every day.
These false foundations create a prison, that understandably many would not see there ever being a way out. It is important that you have shared your traumatic story of accepting abuse in your life for it highlights what a radical change we can make to our lives when we come back to the truth we have always known and develop a foundation for ourselves that supports a naturally loving and powerful being. What an absolute blessing Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is to have at this time. Your turnaround is what many would describe as an absolute miracle!
I agree Suzanne, developing a foundation for ourselves that supports us comes from us claiming the truth we have always known and choosing to re-learn how to live a life based on love and the fullness of who we truly are. We are incredibly blessed to have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine at this time and Anon’s story is an absolute miracle.
Yes Suzanne we create a prison for ourselves, part of us knows it is a false prison of our own making, and part of us does not want to know it and will do anything for sympathy. Looking back it is easier to see the irresponsibility than when you are in it. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners hold no judgment just understanding that you are an equal son of god, once you have felt this, and know it is safe to go deeper, you can untangle yourself out of your prison.
Well said Bernie. It is the one prison that we actually hold the keys to get out of. And to think they have been in our pocket all along – the insidiousness of the illusion makes us think that they are no where to be found.
This is a deeply touching sharing of an extraordinary level of abuse and a remarkable recovery. What was most interesting was the learnings you shared of what you interpreted these events to offer you – each belief about men, the world and yourself adding to the false foundation you were creating of what life was about and who you were in it. To then arrive at where you are today with an understanding of the harm of such a foundation and a loving commitment to rebuild a new one based on knowing and appreciating how amazing you truly are, is deeply inspirational.
I was deeply touched by this blog to have changed no transformed your life in this way is a very powerful demonstration of what can be achieved when you choose it. Its also inspired me to keep looking at my own foundations and what I still carry to protect my past hurts.
Oh my gosh! My total admiration to you! Your capacity to put on paper the horrible sets of beliefs and ideals about life that drove your conviction that total protection was the way to go based on the horrible experiences you went through, and your willingness to let them go and your openness to reimprint your life are nothing short of a miracle.
And miracles are waiting for us to happen if we choose to make love as our foundation to live from. We can have either a foundation based on fear and protection for life or we can have our foundation based on love, the basis where we all originate from and are part of. This story shows us clearly that the power of connecting to where we originate from is extraordinary as we consider the miraculous changes it has brought to the writer after having lived such an abusive life.
Living a life based on fear and protection is very limiting and isolating. The only person holding us back is ourselves, all we need is to be shown love to confirm that our inner feelings are real and that we do have a choice to free ourselves and return back to love. Thank goodness we have Serge Benhayon to show us this love.
This speaks volume of the powerful changes we can experience in our lives when we build this from a foundation of love… for ourselves in the first instance, which then leads to a love for others in the second. As you have said nvanhaastrecht “the power of connecting to where we originate from is extraordinary” and at the same time, super ordinary as this is who and how we naturally are…
emfeldman, I feel the same, total admiration. It would have taken immense courage to see the self created prison and then come back to trusting her truth.
I agree emfeldman, the turnaround in her life is a true miracle, and a beautiful testimony to the power of true love, this love that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine brings to all of us, whenever we are ready to turn around from where we think we’re going.
Yes indeed I can feel your strength in choosing so and claim your truth back.
Thank you that you share your blog anonymous.
Lots of love
Lovely sharing showing us that it is never too late to make changes in life and create a foundation based on self caring and self loving choices that support us to embrace who we are. Thank you.
Creating new foundations is what Universal Medicine is offering humanity, whether it be in relationships, music, loving friendship, expression, self care exercise, … the list goes on to cover every gamut of our lives. And how is this possible? Because what is being presented is not an idea or a linear philosophy, but a living expression of the very essence of us all , and from that essence, everything has the opportunity to re-configure.
Anonymous, Thank you for your very honest sharing. This is a deeply inspiring blog.
I can really relate to beliefs and action plans children take to survive trauma and other difficulties. We take on beliefs and roles, and I particularly understood the one about making yourself valuable to everyone. Children are so delicate and fragile and so naturally connected to love that we feel it’s absence acutely. You are a true inspiration and a reminder to all of us that women and families everywhere experience abuse and that the love and support we can each offer to our community members is sorely needed. You have reminded me how much my love is needed in this world.
This is a great example of how you can go from having a foundation built on hurt to one built on love – this blog shows that anything is possible. Thank you for sharing Anon.
Julie, that’s so true, anything is possible. We can create new loving foundations – it’s just a matter of choice and commitment to self care and self love.
This is a very insightful blog Anon that gives me a deeper understanding of how we build foundations for ourselves based on hurt and protection and end up making that our reality instead of feeling the truth we have always known and building our foundations from that awareness. You have turned around a life that many would believe would be impossible and are a shining light to many women who are caught in the complexity that is domestic violence and done so with such purity and clarity. Thank you.
“to consider whether we created this foundation from past experiences and hurts, and if we do have such a foundation, to ask how they have been created and whether or not they are actually supporting us.” this can be considered over every choice we make. It is so refreshing to read that we do not have to play the victim of our past and our hurts, that we do have a choice to change, and that choice lies with us – does this way or choice support me to be or live a more loving and true life – or not.
Dear Anonymous this is a deeply powerful and amazing blog. Thank you so much for sharing with the whole world. This will change many peoples lives.
I am humbled and inspired by your story anon. The courage you showed in facing and taking responsibility for your hurts and re-building a foundation of love is nothing short of amazing! If you can turn your life around from living abuse to self-love then so can I. Thank you for sharing so intimately.
Thank you for sharing the confusing depths of distress we can get into when we think life is happening to us. Serge Benhayon offers us all the inspiration to make choices for ourselves that can change the very foundation of how we know who we truly are.
Eye opening that this is what happens for some people and thus forms their web of ideals and beliefs that they choose to live from. Beautiful to open up and to feel how to some extent we all have built this false foundation from our own experiences and that underneath it all we are all so much more.
I agree Joshua, we have built our lives based on protection of our own hurts which is the wrong foundation to start with as we don’t show the true love that we are.
This story is so touching, I welled up as I felt your pain and suffering
You are an incredibly brave woman and I am inspired by your courage, determination and commitment to living another way; a way that honours you.
With deep appreciation for sharing.
Anonymous reading your story has left me speechless, so much to process and yet you came out of the tunnel in your full light and presence.
A very powerful and inspirational blog Anonymous, thank you for sharing how we are not our hurts and how we always have the choice to either live from our hurts or from our true selves.
This is such an inspiring blog, it highlights that no matter what hardships one has endured in life it is never too late as we always have the choice to start again and create a true foundation that supports us in the healing process and bring joy and love in everyday living, Thank you Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for laying this foundation of support and truth.
Thank you for sharing Anon. Your story is so powerful as you show how it is possible to truly heal even from the most painful and abusive experiences by creating true foundations that are no longer based on your hurts. From this true foundation you have come to know the truth about yourself, that in fact ‘I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.’
That is such a great sharing, thank you!!! If we live our foundation based on hurts we will never live our amazingness and grandness. And the most amazing thing is that with all what you had lived and built your false foundations on you only needed a four hour presentation from Serge Benhayon to build your new foundation! This shows not only the truth and love of what Serge Benhayon presents, but this shows how close you are to love and truth and that it is a choice we can make in every moment to live with a loving foundation. What a very powerful woman you are!!!
To have come from where you were to being able to love, appreciate and care for yourself is so incredible to read about. This is a real life story, so honest and such a look in at abuse and why women live with it. With domestic violence being as prevalent as it is, stories like yours that give understanding to what has built women to this are very important to share, particularly from women like you, anon, who have been able to shed the perceptions that allowed the harm to occur.
…. wow Anonymous, thank you for sharing your life experiences in this blog, with the love you have written it I can feel you have truly healed so much, so inspiring for anyone to have the blessing to read it.
This shows that a new foundation can be laid any time and it is never too late.
A great Blog Anon, thanks for sharing that we have the choice to choose how we live and on what foundations. Through looking at, exposing, accepting, and understanding that our hurts are not really us just a small part of the real amazing- ness that we really are – we can heal, and like you have illustrated, make profound changes back to love and harmony.
A very touching article very honest very powerful.
The beauty of you sharing your life to me is that no matter what we’ve chosen to be part of our foundation, our believes and patterns – we can change them, with the will and the reconnection to the inner voice, the stillness. Returning to the sensibility as a strength. To return back to a self loving way – no matter if someone on the outside claps their hands for it or not. I feel you very strong and beautiful.. Thank you for your openness.
As I read your blog and the events that unfolded in your life, I pictured a now ‘broken’ woman, beaten down by the years of abuse and lack of love…. closed, withdrawn, unable to look at people, checked out and disconnected from life – frail and meek. What is absolutely amazing is how you shed all of that, everything life had taught you – you let it go, and connected back to who you truly are – and now describe yourself as “a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.” I can feel you as a bright, sparkling woman with eyes shining, a confidence in her step and willing and able to connect with everyone. Absolutely amazing and inspiring, thank you for sharing in such a raw and honest way.
The great learning I take away from reading your amazing blog is the fundamental importance of creating a foundation of self love. Thank you for the inspirational sharing
It is amazing to feel you and the way you share your story. I can feel how much you have healed of your past experience and have truly buildt a new foundation. To me this is a miracle that you are able to refer to yourself as a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that you are extremely sensitive – and these are not just words, I can feel that is what you are truly experiencing within yourself. Amazing!
Reading blogs like these really make me appreciate what Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have offered to humanity and that the changes people are making from this is just absolutely amazing.
You have lifted off your false beliefs and in doing so stripped away the false foundation on which you built your life. By removing these imposters you have been left with the truth that forever lives untainted underneath the lies. By living that truth you are a living reminder for everyone else. Glorious, glorious you x
Wow thank you for your honesty. A powerful story of healing and the true change that comes about when we build commitment and take responsibility for our lives.
It is beautiful to read how you have been able to truly heal from these traumatic experiences anon. It also makes me think about my own foundations.
Powerful article Anonymous. You have had extreme hardship in your life but amazingly this has been turned around and you are now using your past as a learning tool, learning how you have created your life from the hurts you have endured. Creating a foundation for life based on our hurts is something well worth looking at.Thank you.
It is so beautiful to see what is inside of us and that regardless of how hard life may seem the love is always there. By different choices we can built new foundations, i.e. it is only ourselves who decide what our life will feel like. Isn’t that amazingly powerful?
This is a truly amazing account of your life, I am so inspired by your commitment to you to be able to turn things around for yourself. Thank you for sharing.
It feels like most people have created a web, a network, or framework of beliefs and understandings that they feel will protect them. Unfortunately this is the mind creating separation and isolation which is what it is very good at. Understanding how seditious this can be, is the first step to reconnecting with our true selves and being able to feel our true beauty.
It is wonderful that you found your way back to your true, beautiful self after so much abuse and devastation. Your story sounds like, and could be made into a movie – what the world needs to see is an inspirational story like yours.
What a sad story – but what a beautiful ending. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for courageously sharing your life story and the amazing teaching it brings to us all.
It makes me look in a deeper way at my childhood and life to see what ideals, beliefs and ideas I have about life and particular in relationships, and how I allow these to run me.
By having the courage to expose and explore our hurts, we can clearly see what we have been choosing by the choices we continue to make in our lives. And we no longer feel a victim to life circumstances by choosing to connect to the amazingness we all intrinsically are, moment to moment, and choosing what choices will lovingly support us.
What a turnaround! thank you for sharing so honestly. For many of us we are so attached to our ideals and beliefs we are not even aware how we let them control our lives. This is deeply healing for us all to know that however bad things seem there is always an alternative, to come back to ourselves and trust our inner connection, not seeking from outside ourselves.
WOW- thank you for this honest insight of your life.
Thank you – you show us that healing is available for everyone equally. No matter what we have faced in life, no matter how shaky our foundation, we can establish a true foundation that supports is to thrive.
Anon, I feel a deep sadness when I read your story but I also feel a deep admiration for you in that you have been able to now have a foundation that is based on a loving connection to you and who you truly are.
Thank you for such honest and powerful story anon, it highlights the deep commitment you’ve had for your own healing and to your relationship with self by creating a true foundation that supports your own beauty and divinity.
This blog shows how deeply ideals, beliefs of others how life is, impact lives already at a very young age. It forms us, but it is not about who we truly are. What a courage to face your past and lay a new foundation for yourself!
Dear Anonymous, there is so much for us all in your blog, whether or not we have had extreme experiences of abuse or not, the ideals and beliefs we carry and project onto others and the world that keep us closed down and protected are so damaging. I have over the past year or so really been looking at those I hold myself. I feel it so obvious these days, when I harden towards another, and this is when I can ask myself, where is it that I am coming from right now, what is going on or has gone on for me to shut down to this person because really I am shutting myself down in doing this, and it hurts us both. I am learning that it is better to look at this stuff then to just ignore it and move on to the next experience in my day. Letting go of the protection and allowing another in regardless of what they may be bringing up for me I am finding a huge process, but one worth taking the time to commit to.
Great point Anna when we shut ourselves off in protection we are damaging ourselves and all others equally. When we shut down, we are showing others it’s ok to do this, but there’s no truth in this. When we are open and connected we shine so bright, this inspires others 🙂
It is so true that we create our own life based on all the experiences we have encountered and that it matters if our choices are based on love or not. While not conscious about the fact that we either choose from love or not love, and the fact that the loving way is not presented to us that much in our lives, we tend to build a foundation that is not based on love, ending up, as in your case Anonymous, with a foundation that is in fear of the world and completely disconnects us from the beauty and joy love actually is.
Dear Anonymous, I’m not sure what to write in response to your blog – but my mouth has closed now and I can say Wow!! what a woman – to have had the experience of abuse that you endured, and to be able to relate it without a sense of judgment, blame or victim hood but from an inner strength that must humbly blow you away when you realize just what is the essence of you. Your honesty, deep love and knowingness must surely inspire those who have the privilege of reading your blog.
That’s a powerful blog! I can relate to your opening part as I had a similar situation with regard to not being chosen over someone else. It was the belief I created around this and chose to hold onto that caused the damage. It is not love and so often we do not have the strength to hold ourselves and walk away from the not love – we choose to stay in it with our own beliefs holding us there. With the teachings of Serge Benhayon we are able to find the strength within ourselves to see the not love and walk away from it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is deeply touching and brought tears to my eyes. Of course your story is very extreme but really we all share the same story because anything less than love is in truth devastating and affects us in the ways you have described. It is just so much more obvious and relatable in the honest and horrendous way you have spelled it out.
Very true Nicola – we all do share the same story. In cases like these the devastation is almost easier to see because it is so extreme. In cases where everything seems ok, the devastation is actually more sinister because it can go unnoticed for even longer.
To read of how you came to understand that all those ideas, which made you what you thought was ‘you’, were false is nothing short of a miracle to me. Thank you for sharing your life, and for breaking it down as you have into those identifiable ideas that were taken on. To know you now as who you truly are,and always were must feel amazing.
Anon your story is deeply touching in it’s honesty and the raw truth of what you experienced in your life. It is the sort of trauma that is assumed un-returnable from really, but you have shown that it is possible. And not only to a functional life, but to a real appreciation for who you really are… that is truly amazing and such an important story for so many to hear. One thing that really struck me is that throughout your lengthy account of all the ways you were abused and disregarded, there is not an ounce of judgement towards either of your parents, or other abusers. That to me is the real sign of healing.
Yes Anon, I can hear how you have rebuilt a foundation by debasing the origins of your false and negative beliefs about self without further judging yourself or others. It is truly inspiring the level of self-responsibility you have shown.
Thank you for this inspiring blog Anonymous as it is a great example of how we build false foundations which do not support or serve us, but we can change that and start to build a new one by making different choices.
Re-reading your story anonymous, has brought tears to my eyes yet again in deep understanding for the pain you endured knowing there was another way to live, yet having it blocked at every turn until you met the truths presented by Serge Benhayon. Realising that the events in your life shaped your beliefs and formed a false foundation based on your hurts is huge and the way you’ve exposed this is very inspirational….in what way have I let events shape my beliefs? What hurt is underlying that in my foundations? An incredibly useful exercise for us all to undertake if living from the true foundation of being is sought. Thank you.
To have experienced such a relentless and ongoing onslaught of abuse over so many years, as so many millions of women have around the world, and then to have returned to a truly beautiful connection with their essence, is an inspirational story that must be told again and again. That the false foundation of impotence and grim disempowerment can be overturned is a profound tribute to what is being presented at Universal Medicine, and also that no one has gone too far away that they cannot return to their own heart.
From this blog I learnt we have to be extremely respectful of children and how through their experience they can build a false foundation that has repercussions throughout their whole life.
Dear Anonymous, thank you for sharing so much of your past in this revealing way, it has brought another level of awareness to me and in the way that I have accepted and allowed abuse into my life through my own false foundations. Thank you for shining a light in the darkness and revealing how we can emerge from these false foundations to bring truth, clarity and love to build new foundations which support us to live in our fullness and never waiver from being who we truly are.
Thank you for your sharing, we always have a choice, no matter what has happened, to start and build a new foundation. To connect with that foundation and knowing that whatever happens or has happened, our foundation is love. This is our essence.
This is deeply inspiring: to look deeper at what foundation I stand on, and how that is, and is it truly serving me to live the love I am.
Thank you Anonymous for this courageous and inspiring sharing. It is insidious how what others do and say can totally quash the truth of what we have felt. And then, over time we learn to override our own feelings, we stop believing and trusting in ourselves and instead reinterpret what we’ve felt, heard and experienced creating false beliefs about life — a false foundation from which we then live. We can get lost in this world of false beliefs, and yet, somehow deep down we know that the foundation from which we are living is not true. This is the deepest pain. It is inspiring that we can still find our way back to truth, peeling back the layers of false beliefs and learning to trust what we know in our hearts to be true again. Thank you for sharing your journey back to a true foundation.
Thank you anonymous for expressing your truth. You deliver a great blessing and a beautiful revelation on exposing the ideals and beliefs that we incorporate into our lives and believing that it is ‘normal’. Your path of non-judgment and return to self-love is truly inspirational. I appreciate the sharing of your life and love for us.
This is an amazing, huge and very powerful blog in so many ways. One that will support so many people. What I find so inspiring is the fact that through all the abuse you have been through, you have not given up on yourself or people but you have found another way. A true way that supports you to cherish, love, appreciate and adore yourself, to open up, flourish and grow into the amazing woman you have always been all along and once again feel that love and trust in humanity. You have got here with the love and support of Universal Medicine but more so with the willingness and loving choices you have made to change.
Thank you for bringing such amazing clarity & understanding to how false foundations play out in our lives, reading this blog couldn’t have been more timely..
I had no idea that this level of abuse is real and that these atrocities happen. Of course I knew that things like rape, domestic violence etc are real but never until reading this did I get a feeling for how horrible it actually is. It really makes me stop and consider the damage that we as humanity have done to ourselves and how far away from who we are, and how far we have really strayed. Because like you discovered, we are more on the inside, we are infact amazing and loving. So why is there so much suffering in the world? Thank you for sharing your experience and that it is possible to change.
This was difficult but so amazing to read Anonymous. The way you have written your story, captures how we can go through life accumulating these false lessons, overwhelming the true knowledge we are naturally born with. That you can move on from those experiences to share the strong sassy you with the rest of the world is a miracle to me, and a testament to the healing that is on offer via Universal Medicine. The part of this blog that shone out to me, was where you acknowledge that your own choices were drawing these events onto you, like a never ending circle. I haven’t been in the situations you describe yet I can see parallels with my own particular choices and life. It is deeply inspiring to feel your strength and new foundation.
I could relate to quite a lot of what you have shared and it is amazing that it is never too late to start again however old or set in our ways we might be.
What an amazing change you did ! Wow ! This is impressive ! Thank you for sharing your story and your development, supported and inspired by Universal Medicine!
Thank you for sharing such an intense and personal story of your earlier life to the amazing woman you have become through healing and unravelling the many beliefs that were cemented through abuse and all that has been written. This article is an amazing guide and will help many others to heal , understand and come back to a true foundation that supports the love that we truly are .
It was inspiring to read this blog and see how such a false foundation based on being a victim of abuse and hurts can be totally turned around when we make the choice to say no to this cycle and this foundation. The power each of us have as human beings in making choices is massive — and we can turn our lives around simply through choice, as you share here. Thank you.
Yes, it is amazing what changes are possible in your life, once you realize that before you have lived on a false foundation. Starting to love and appreciate myself in each and every moment without judgement has been the key to this for me.
Wow this is a massive story and thank you for taking the time to share so much of your personal experience to benefit others. I was just reflecting yesterday on the fact of how we start out life with such a false and shaky foundation. We then begin relationships, have children and everything we do is built on that, until we change it. Then it is like having another opportunity to grow up all over again, honouring yourself and how precious you are, and getting the opportunity to re-imprint your life with the quality you want to have.
Anonymous you said ‘ I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves.’ This is such an amazing tool. Looking back and plucking out all the false ideals and beliefs and then rebuilding the foundations from love is powerful. Thank you for showing that it is possible.
It is unimaginable to me the pain you have experienced in your life, Anonymous, and it hurts terribly that human beings can treat each other like this. To have reached a point where you are able to write this blog is simply amazing. You show there can be a way out of the ‘darkness’, that true good can come from horror, thank you deeply for sharing your experience for others to learn from.
Amazing blog, thank you. How we build foundations from hurts, situations and lies and how much they hurt us. To have found another way to build/rebuild our foundations is awesome. Thanks to Universal Medicine and all its practitioners.
wow, thank you for being so honest about your story, It makes me really wonder, when you meet someone off the street or anywhere in your life, you never know what they could have been through… I want to be that person that is open, caring and meets each person for who they are, so that everyone can have the reflection that they are too amazing.
Thank you so much for writing this so honestly. After all that you have been through, it is truly inspirational to read that you are now embracing “who you truly are” and building a new foundation that is based on Love.
This is a very inspiring story of not just surviving abuse but reclaiming the truth of who you are. Although your experiences were quite extreme, we have all reacted to events in our lives and created a false reality to avoid feeling and dealing with our hurts. It is wonderful to feel that we are not beholden to the past and can choose our way forward.
Thank you for a very powerful and inspiring blog. You showed amazing strength and courage to build a new foundation based on what felt true for you.
Anonymous….all I can say is that it was an absolute privilege to read your story. Your amazing courage and such inspiration to so many, that no matter what your circumstances, how hurt you have been, you can find your way back to love. Loving yourself, your body and understanding how amazing you are (we all are). Thank you for sharing, it was truly amazing to read and feel where you have arrived within yourself.
Although it was difficult to read about what you have endured, I am inspired how you claimed yourself back and built a foundation of love.
An incredible story by any account. Thank you so much for sharing this Anonymous. You have inspired me to have another look at the false foundations I may be allowing to influence my life and relationships.
Knowing of the many traumas you have suffered it is wonderful to feel that you have developed a connection to yourself and have begun to build a true foundation of self love. Truly courageous and inspiring. Serge Benhayon’s presentation on foundations has clearly supported you to do this and I feel so much appreciation that Serge does what he does.
Truly inspiring and a powerful message for others to connect to.
Wow, what an absolutely powerful blog. It’s amazing to read the power you gave yourself to change how you view life and experiences. It’s also incredible to note how you do not view yourself as a victim and how you are able to care, love and appreciate yourself to the bone. It was great to read the part of how you see yourself now, what a change.
Building a new foundation from the truth within you is a wonderful thing. This is inspiring. To truly look at the beliefs that kept you small and to change that, is huge. To do this after so much sadness is truly inspiring. Thank you
From building up a barrier of ideals and beliefs to protect you from the hurts you carried in your body to choosing to discard this old way of living and to accepting that you are as you state “cherishable, sacred, solid and committed to love of self and to humanity” is worth sharing. Thank-you Anonymous
What an amazing blog. I found parts of it challenging to read as what you were describing was truly awful and I love how at the end you brought in the truth about foundations, that we can choose to create a foundation based on protecting ourselves which is filled with ideals and beliefs or we can build a foundation based on who we are deep inside, underneath the protection and the ideals and beliefs. I very much appreciate what you have shared and the way you have shared it. Thank you.
Your courage to deal with your hurts and abuse by choosing a true foundation of love is inspirational. I have also let harmful ideals and beliefs control me in the past and by being aware of them and then letting them go feels amazing.
What amazing understanding and insight you have into how your foundation was formed. By unpicking it, you’ve been able to make way for a new, solid and loving foundation based on a truth. Inspiring reading. Thank you.
Dear anonymous, I love how you wrote about how your old foundations actually called more of the same to you. How the world could change overnight if this understanding was the way of our up bringing. I so love the way you have shared this, with the simplicity of it having been your life and that it is no more.
“The deep gratitude and appreciation I have for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Hierarchy is not something that I can put in words rather it is something I carry in my body and share with all around me.”
I felt very touched by this line in particular – thank you for sharing your ‘adventure’ with us.
What a powerful story and turn around. This is real proof of what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine stand for. Turning lives around.
Dear Anonymous. Your blog is truly inspirational every time I read it. Ican really feel the truth of, ‘I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.’ It feels like all those hurts are washed away when we choose what we do know to be true within. That actually it doesn’t matter if this isn’t what we’ve lived until now.
To read about your life and the abuse you grew up with and know that you put that foundation aside to live from what you know is true within supports me so much. You have shown that these old patterns have no control over me if I so choose, they are abusive and only hold a form of comfort in their familiarity. Building a foundation based on love and truth can become my new norm and that brings a true warmth.
Thank you for sharing so much of your deeply traumatic life. It is incredible for me to read and I’m so impressed with your ability to feel trust in Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. You are able to build a loving foundation…a true inspiration.
The actual structure of this piece of writing is as powerful as the words. Where you have written ‘from this I learnt….’ truly highlights how we falsely believe what is told to us at the expense of what we know in our hearts to be true. This piece of writing is a true gift, as are you. Thank you
Very well put, marybidner. It is a masterpiece of writing/prose. Powerful in every way.
Wow! That is HUGE, to be able to get from a point of such false ideas/foundations, to today being at a point where you have re built your foundations and reclaimed your Amazingness!
Thankyou for such an honest sharing and an insight into the worlds we become imprisoned in and a way back to the freedom of choosing what we know is true.
What a deeply honest sharing of how situations in our lives set us up for how we will accept the unacceptable.
How amazing when we choose to became aware of what’s running the show we can choose to address it, heal the hurts and build a new truer foundation.
I feel the way we start accepting the unacceptable is quite sublime, it can start with the simple dismissal that someone has spoken to us in anger and accepting this behaviour because the person in question may have had a hard day.
Abuse is rampant in todays society, the most viscous and undermining form of abuse happens through words, a glance or even a inappropriate laugh. These are the things we accept as non-harmful occurrences but in truth they lead us to doubt ourselves and this is when we really start to accept more obvious forms of what society deems as abuse.
I have a back ground in a very violent relationship and even through all the physical abuse that called for hospitalisation I still feel the worst form of abuse is to get one to doubt themselves and their, self worth and truth.
Thank you Toni, you’ve really highlighted here how as in Anonymous’s blog one abuse leads on to another. Its my experience too that when we allow something we know is not right, its like an invitation for more to follow. This is emphatically why it is so powerful and essential for us to speak up, no matter how small any ‘little thing’ may seem. It is not the thing but the energy we are addressing.
Since being introduced to Universal Medicine my understanding of abuse has grown enormously. I used to think that abuse was just a physical thing, but now I realise, like you say Toni, it can be through words, a glance or an inappropriate laugh. I remember being laughed at once because I took my glasses off, and I still feel the hurt I felt then.
We can also abuse ourselves by not honouring our feelings, so once we start to address this form of behaviour, we naturally can call a halt to abuse from others too, in whichever way it comes.
Yes Sharon, as you say we can choose ‘to became aware of what’s running the show, we can choose to address it, heal the hurts and build a new truer foundation’. Everything comes back to the choices we make. This is such a powerful blog in showing that no matter how bad or traumatic the experiences we have in life, we always have a choice, yet many of us did not realise that we ‘had a choice’ until meeting Serge Benhayon and attending presentations with Universal Medicine.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing all that you have been through. It is amazing to feel how we can resign ourselves to these false foundations and perceptions of who we think we are in contrast to the truth of who we really are. You are a living testimonial of this choice and our ability to build a true foundation from what we know is true within us.
This is a really courageous blog. I truly appreciate the damage our hurts cause our foundation from reading this; more over, how it’s our choice, no matter what confronts us.
Sounds like some very deep healing has taken place here, and that you have been supported and provided (yourself) with a very secure and loving platform upon which to rebuild your life, dispel the false ideals and beliefs, and thus change the choices you are making in it. I have enormous respect and appreciation for anyone/anything that can truly help people who have led lives with such traumatic experiences in them, to heal, and to move on towards a fuller, less painful, more love-filled life.
I am in the process of building a new foundation and this blog confirms to me that it is absolutely possible to do this and that ‘my old foundations… were created from my hurts and… are in fact not even true and only caused me even more harm’. My old habit of self-doubt actually drew more unloving experiences to me and I felt myself drying up as I contracted more and more. I am only just realizing how much self-abuse I have been indulging in by allowing in thoughts that I am not good enough. It is killing my joy of life and affecting those around me. I now resolve to begin afresh by just getting on with it and not allowing negative thoughts in to sabotage my natural vibrant joy of life. It’s a constant commitment to expanding so I reconnect with ‘the amazingness that is me.’
Where does the idea come from we are not good enough and why do we give it so much time in our thought processes? I have been contemplating these questions and have come to understand if I can not celebrate myself for the grandness I am at this point in time I can not be offered the next step in seeing and expressing more of who I am.
Isn’t it amazing the false foundations we create to protect us from our hurts when what hurts is not living from love. What a conundrum – no wonder we get all muddled up inside.
The only foundation we can live from is love, all others must fall and crumble before we can fully live and express the truth we know. Universal Medicine comes from this loving foundation and is something we can all have, hold and heal with when we connect to our bodies and the innate wisdom it brings.
This is so true Suzanne, “what hurts is not living from love”. And how much more hurt do we reap upon ourselves by not choosing the truth – I keep forgetting this and getting caught by the travails of life even having been made aware of this fact.
Yes Suzanne, it’s time we dropped all the ideals and beliefs that are stopping us from building our true foundation of love, and through Universal Medicine and The Way of Livingness we can do just that, heal our past hurts and become our true selves again.
This is an amazing turn around and a precious testimonial of how powerful and healing true love is when you choose it.
Your blog shows amazingly the power that comes from coming back to deeply honour your own truth again. Your blog is encouraging and inspiring.
What an inspiring story.
This is an amazing offering for readers to reflect on their own foundations and how we may have set up our lives according to these. It’s amazing how we can let experiences shape us and therefore shut down from the world. I know in not wanting to get hurt, I am an expert in shutting down, being nice and not expressing. But it is me I hurt the most when doing that – which I now realise more and more. Thank you for such an amazing blog – there is much strength in your ability to face what was happening and accept your responsibility in these situations. A true healing.
What a deep and amazing sharing, truly inspirational. It is so easy to stay a victim in life especially when things happen to us from an early age, they can mark us for the rest of our lives. To read your story shows that it can be done and that it is well worth the journey.
Such a powerful blog, and it really shows how choice matters, that any of us at any time can choose a foundation of things we know to be true even though we may not live them. This is something I often struggle with, as it can be easy to get caught in how we have lived even if it’s not true. It’s often an excuse I use to say that things can’t be different because of how I’ve lived in the past, so coming across this blog today is a great reminder that this is not true.
Spot on Monica; this blog is a great example of how choice does matter, and how even in cases of abuse there is an opportunity to choose love.
I feel privileged to have read your experiences and to see that there is a way back from all of that, is deeply inspirational. It reminds me of all the mothers and children which are housed in shelters to get away from abusive husbands and that there is another way to live without being a victim.
Julie, I agree with your comments; there is always a way back from heart ache and pain, a choice to begin to build new, true foundations, and begin to heal over time.
Thank you for an open sharing of your past experiences and choices. You are an inspiration to all for taking responsibility for your life and what you have created in your past. No longer a victim, an amazing transformation supported by the love and teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom.
Yes. A deeply inspiring blog. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. It feels very healing on many levels.
Thank you heaps for your blog! You wrote: ‘I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideals and beliefs to protect ourselves. And if so, to consider whether we created this foundation from past experiences and hurts, and if we do have such a foundation, to ask how they have been created and whether or not they are actually supporting us.’ And you give all of us the opportunity to do the same: let go of old ideals, beliefs and hurts that keep us in the same loop over and over again – and choose to feel who we truly are and connect to ourselves and others from there.
Thank you, Anonymous for showing that no matter how big the mountain of hurt we have built for ourselves is from what the world has presented as normal… there is a way back to the truth within us all that will always be waiting for us to come back to.
This courageous sharing has blown the socks off of how you can turn your life around to be one of true support, love and self responsibility. Anyone that has gone through a similar life would benefit greatly in reading this blog. Extremely inspiring and eye opening, Thank you.
Pondering this morning on foundations I realised that it is not only trust and self-love, but a foundation of Joy. Nothing like elation, but a steady and consistent feeling of being a whole being in the whole Universe, at home in oneself and with everything else.
Today I have just experienced a day with Serge Benhayon and discovered more about building a true foundation that I can trust. It was there when we responded to the world as children, from our feelings for which there may not have been words, but certainly a Knowing of the energy of everything around us and it all made sense. It is so clear that we have never lost it, but it got suppressed by choosing to conform to the rules we were given. But we can access it again in a moment if we choose, we are just out of practice.
I’m just so glad this story has a great outcome. Thanks for sharing…I’m totally sure this blog will go on to help many people renew their false foundations and realise there is light at the end of the tunnel.
A very powerful blog anonymous and you share it with so much honesty and without any judgment of yourself or others. Even though you have suffered so much abuse, it’s inspiring to read about how you have chosen to heal and not stay the victim.
I agree with what you have said Gill and Debra. To turn around from a life of abuse with no judgement of yourself or others and to choose to heal and not stay the victim, this is a totally inspirational blog.
You demonstrate a huge turnaround from your original life of abuse to the true foundation you have built. It’s inspiring to read how you are building on that new foundation, knowing the truth within you and supporting yourself by your different choices.
There is certainly a way to live that doesn’t keep us as a victim – no matter how tough it seems.
Taking responsibility for our lives is the only way it will change and be about what’s true and not what we can hide behind or blame.
As well as the inspiration, I appreciated the care you have taken in presenting your article.
There is great understanding offered by showing so many real examples of moments of hurt, followed by an explanation of how each hurt was used to form a judgement and a belief about the whole of life – and how this all provided a perfect confirmation and foundation for you to stay trapped in being less than your glorious self.
We all do this in one form or another. And your beautifully honest article provides great opportunity to see the dynamics of creating the foundations as well as an inspiring confirmation that they can easily be broken down and replaced by ones that truly do honour who we are.
Thank you.
Well said Golnaz – this article brings ‘great opportunity to see the dynamics of creating the foundations as well as an inspiring confirmation that they can easily be broken down and replaced by ones that truly do honour who we are’. There is such inner freedom as this excess emotional baggage gets broken down and from here the ability for new choices to honour and support who we really are.
Yes, Stephanie I agree with you that to learn that excess emotional baggage can get broken down and from here the ability to make new choices, to honour and support who we really are is exceptionally freeing.
Hi Anon, thank you. Your blog has been an amazing gift showing us all that through our own choices we can change our foundation based on ideals and beliefs, creating a new one built on love.
Thankyou for your blog Anon. “I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves. And if so, to consider whether we created this foundation from past experiences and hurts, and if we do have such a foundation, to ask how they have been created and whether or not they are actually supporting us.” This is a powerful statement. Why would I want to continue to carry around old baggage that does not support me – and yet I have done and am still clearing out the remnants. To claim ourselves by making different choices and feel ourselves as the powerful loving beings we truly are feels so much more amazing.
I agree Sue, to leave the old baggage feels much more loving than carrying it around year after year.
Anonymous. Nothing in this life is impossible, if we set our minds to it, and you have proved it.love is always there for you.
Very true Mike.
Thank you Anonymous, it was an honour to read of your story, and your extraordinary healing from the false foundation to your true foundation. Your story is very inspirational.
This is so inspiring – how by making different choices you are now building a true foundation for your life and reflecting to others that we don’t have to be bound by the shackles of the false ideals and beliefs we grew up with. With deep appreciation and thanks for your honesty.
Wow…what a turnaround in your life, so inspiring and honest. Thank you again for sharing your journey in life.
Truly amazing!
I loved this blog Anonymous. This is one of the most inspirational blogs I have ever read. To come back to love from the extremes of your experiences, shows the strength you have within you. How powerful must love be, I ask myself. Thank you.
‘This is one of the most inspirational blogs I have ever read.’ – I absolutely agree Julie.
Through reading this blog, I am inspired to feel how we can each make the choice to stand strong in the face of the false stories and beliefs we are told about who we are, knowing that we can choose love to be our only foundation.
What a powerful and courageous blog! You were certainly raised through
the ‘school of hard knocks’, but the ending is really uplifting!
What a powerful heart opening account by anonymous, having such courage to speak out.
I can relate very much to pretending things weren’t happening, putting my head in the sand because I didn’t want to face what was truly going on. I also felt I didn’t have to strength or power to challenge, and convinced myself they were only small and didn’t really matter. I can see how I really didn’t value myself in the past either. Now it’s very different, I know everything matters. Thank you for your openness.
Inspirational – the changes you have made in your life. Thankyou for sharing so honestly about your life experiences. So many people would have continued feeling a victim. All credit to you for choosing another way. Such powerful reading.
Beautifully, and powerfully said, Shirley-Ann.
Wow this is such a powerful sharing – thank you Anonymous
Loved reading that you have learned to celebrate yourself as a beautiful strong sassy caring cherishable woman, extremely sensitive and aware and committed to love of yourself and humanity. Majority of people live a life feeling unworthy, unlovable, insecure, doubting what they feel and know, bitter with life and with a lack of commitment to humanity. The foundation you have been building that supports you to be a fully confident loving woman, is a foundation every single person could do with.
Well said Golnaz.
“The foundation you have been building that supports you to be a fully confident loving woman, is a foundation every single person could do with.” Absolutely, Golnaz. This is a foundation that everyone deserves to give themselves.
I love what you you have said Golnaz. The blog is simply inspirational and shows how anyone can turn their life around when they start to believe they deserve love and that we can all learn to love ourselves and not give our power away to another.
The amount of abuse we all put up with in the world is amazing and needs to be exposed as to why we do it and how we can learn to love ourselves and put a stop to this. Thank you for sharing your amazing journey to love and all you reflect for others to learn from so honestly.
The common theme of the comments to this blog is ‘choice’. This blog has shown that even when someone has suffered the extent of abuse that was suffered here, there is a choice to heal, and that healing is open to all. But this is not what we are generally lead to believe. The common perspective is that healing is hard, and that childhood pain will most likely continue to haunt and define us as adults. It time to turn that perspective around, to let it be known that we can make different choices, that we can heal, that we are not forever bound by past hurts, because if we do not know we have a choice to heal, we are unlikely to choose to do so.
This blog blows the lie that we have no choice and are stuck right out of the water.
That was well said Catherine. We tend to stay in the victimhood into adulthood don’t we? But knowing we can make different choices and actually HEAL the hurts that were caused to us by others and re-imprint our lives is a true and powerful option. It’s a revelation to know that this type of pain really can dissolve and doesn’t have to stay embedded.
I am so grateful that through the presentations of Serge Benhayon I have come to understand that “we can heal our hurts caused by others on us and re-imprint” with truth and love. How powerful it is that this kind of pain can be cleared and not kept stuck inside the body.
This is a great way of expressing this Rachel and a great discussion to be had here.
I completely agree, Catherine. I remember as I grew into a young woman thinking that issues were just a part of life and they weren’t ever something you could let go of. Since reading through some of these articles (like this one, especially) I’ve been realising that actually – who needs it? 🙂 Is it a choice to keep hold of emotional baggage and hurts? I feel that it is.
I definitely agree with you, Cheryl – it is our choice to hold onto hurts; nobody needs them so why do we do it to ourselves?
Hi Cheryl, I too have found reading these articles a real ‘eye opener’ and inspiration on this. It is also as if the articles on this site and related sites contain the answers or a fresh way to approach to pretty much any concern or issue I ever thought I had!
Very true, Catherine. This website and its related sites are rich with different ways to live our lives.
Absolutely Catherine. That is very powerfully what you have expressed.
True, Catherine. I have heard it a lot where people say they never had a choice in a situation. As you point out this is complete nonsense – there is always a choice, no matter how dire your circumstances appear to be.
Well said Catherine. Many people think they are permanently damaged by childhood hurts. It is as if they ‘become’ those hurts rather than realising they are simply the false foundation they have created and that they do have a choice to build a true and loving foundation.
This story is awe inspiring and just goes to show we never lose what we come from – Love. In some ways, your upbringing made my childhood look like a day at Disney Land, however I know that specific experiences aside, every child equally deserves to be loved. It also made me realise there is no real excuse for not being love.
Awesome point Kevin – that there is no real excuse for not being Love. There isn’t and since I have started to re-connect to it and can feel the enormous support in this – everyone should have the opportunity to experience this also. I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon so it’s my turn to share what he has – share the Love.
Thank you for this article. It is so very empowering to realise that we do not have to be at the effect of the numerous impositions that life throws at us. Instead of being intimidated into diminishing our expression, as you beautifully conclude – we have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports us and allows us to remain confident and keep expanding the amazingness that we are.
Very well said Golnaz.
Such a powerful, honest sharing. Thankyou Anonymous. And what a change you have made in your life through the power of choice and establishing new foundations. Very inspiring.
Totally agree Sue – the turnaround is very inspiring to read and feel from this blog.
What is shared here is remarkable around how our experiences impact how we feel about ourselves and our subsequent beahviour. Very empowering to know we have a choice to challenge any false foundations and to build a new foundation that supports us to live the loving and amazing people we are.
Sharon I agree that it is “very empowering to know we have a choice to challenge any false foundations and to build new foundations that supports us to live” a life that is full of love and share that with society through our livingness.
To see our experiences as false foundations brings a whole new concept to our life and how we can choose to live it; this is really powerful at shaking off beliefs that we are a victim, definitely something to ponder on.
Well said Sharon. It is so powerful to know we have a choice and can be aware of what those choices truly are.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences Anonymous, the learnings and revelations you have shared are profound. How amazing that we can all learn from what you have shared, your words are a true support for society.
This is beautiful, thank you. You describe so clearly how we let ourselves be dictated and formed by the outside world and then think that is who we are, I can very much relate to it. But as you so beautifully and simply have done, we can step by step let go of all the hurts and false beliefs and build us a foundation of love. How very extraordinary of you to share this with the world.
So we learn a whole lot of stuff as we walk through life, a lot of which is layered on in childhood, and then we have a choice as we step into adulthood: are we unwitting victims of the patterns and rules about how to do things, or do we take responsibility and explore what is there, asking questions of our behaviours and patterns and then making choices as to whether we want to live with these frameworks or develop our own. This for me is the redefinition of responsibility; from something burdensome to something truly liberating.
“This for me is the redefinition of responsibility; from something burdensome to something truly liberating.” Yes Matilda, this does bring a much deeper level of understanding responsibility.
I love that Matilda; having a responsibility is always seen as a bad/negative thing when it can actually, as you say, be something truly liberating.
For me, a big part of the liberation that can come from taking responsibility is not repeatedly judging myself for what I have done in the past – recognise and move on with the chance to make different choices.
So true, responsibility can truly be liberating,
I agree Matilda, a great point exploring true responsibilty.
Yes indeed, Matilda, how wonderful to view responsibility in a new and freeing light. I love the way you have outlined the choices we can make in order to relinquish the past and step forward into a truer life.
I love it Matilda. Responsibility has always felt a burden, but I feel that that was because without me realising it, it was imposed on me from outside rather than truly coming from within.
Fantastic point there Matilda – true responsibility has been demonstrated on a very big scale here – words cant describe what an inspiration this blog is to stop, take stock, learn from the opportunities that come your way, no matter how severe, and grow with your heart wide open.
Matilda, I love how you have redefined responsibility. It isn’t a chore but a liberation of oneself and others – I’m aware that when I take responsibility for my actions, my choices and don’t blame others I no longer hold them within a prison of ‘this is how you treated me and I’ll never forget it, I’ll always relate to you in this way and judge you for it. ‘I effectively withhold being loving with them -rather than bring responsibility into my life, the opportunity to make loving choices and bring an openness to relationships with others that also gives them the opportunity of developing more loving, honest relationships.
Awesome Matilda the way you have shared your redefinition of Responsibility is incredible and I totally agree it is truly liberating.
A very honest sharing and one that I feel holds many aspects that more people than we realise can relate to very well.
“I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman. These new foundations are the ones I am building upon daily so that I keep growing and expanding the amazingness that is me.”
An inspiring revelation to come to. Thank you for sharing.
Very true Beverley, this sharing offers so much to many, many people. This true gift of honesty shines a strong light and enables us to see how we can all challenge and change the foundations that we have built our lives on. Very powerful and truly inspiring.
It is blogs like these that inspire and remind me daily that ‘Yes I am the master of my life and my life is what I make of it’. Even at times when I feel that my situation is on top of me that is only because I have allowed it to appear that way.
This is true Ariana and in that we are open to deeply feeling how we currently live and what we can then start to do to make the necessary changes we feel are true to us.
Ariana, so true “The old does not need to hold us prisoner”. We have choices and we can choose differently and build new foundations. We are definitely masters of life when we choose.
I totally agree Ariana and yes it is a daily reminder to keep building those loving choices for myself, ones which feel fantastic and when they are not chosen stick out like a sore thumb these days!
I found this such an honest and inspiring read thank you. It has me now pondering and questioning my foundations.
What an inspiring turnaround in your life – offering the way forward as the loving world it can be.
If you could turn your life around from the false ideals and beliefs and massive abuse that you described, to the open, aware, and claimed person of love that you are today, anything is possible for other people who have had similar life experiences. A true inspiration, and I thank you for your courage in sharing your story.
I agree Michael, the transformation is huge and a great inspiration for anyone facing similar issues in their life. It’s awesome what can be achieved when we start to look at our old ideals and beliefs and then make self-loving choices to truly support us.
So true Tim. Everyone can heal when they look at what ideals and beliefs they hold that are keeping them trapped. A beautiful reminder to me to look at what I’m still holding onto that’s holding me back.
A true inspiration indeed, wow!
Absolutely Michael; anything is possible when we choose love.
So true, Michael. These life experiences can be crushing, until we realize we can make the choice to not live by them. So very inspiring, Anonymous.
I agree Michael the transformation is amazing and very inspiring for anyone going through a similar situation. It is amazing how we can change our lives by making loving choices and breaking away from old ideals and beliefs.
Very true, Michael – I completely agree. If anyone is even going through one of the issues of the many covered in this blog, it would be a great inspiration. Looking at what state the world is in for abuse issues, this blog will serve so many people and that’s massively inspiring.
I agree Michael, it is the strength and courage of these people not only to make the changes but to share them with the world, that is so inspiring.
Yes I feel what was shared at the Universal Medicine Relationship Course should go viral and this blog could support that, lets get the word out there that we have foundations, where they come from and how we can recreate them from love.
Wow it is amazing how someone can let go and share about those things in life. Thank you for sharing anonymous.
Absolutely Ben – to be able to let go of a ‘false foundation of abuse’ and start standing up to it, is incredible.
Amazing doesn’t even touch the sides of this courageous story, Anonymous. My faith in the capacity of humans to heal absolutely anything has been significantly deepened. You are most cherishable and truly loved. What a light you bring to us all. Thank-you for sharing and being so open. My own foundations are under serious re-alignment for in allowing any form of abuse, I foster it.
Agreed Mary – we now know there is another way thanks to Universal Medicine
Thank you so much for writing this. In re-reading it today it is giving me a good opportunity to look at my foundation. We do keep moving forward in the same old way until we can really unpick why we behave in the way that we do. Your move from a false foundation to a true foundation feels like a guide to unpick those behaviours.
Wow…what an inspirational story of your life. Thank you.You have shown many people who read this, it doesn’t matter what the foundation was that we started with; we can change it at anytime we choose and let go of the beliefs and ideals that aren’t true in our lives.
I agree Jody it is very inspiring and humbling at the same time. It shows great strength and true change by someone committed to making choices to turn their life around, a true miracle and reflection of what is possible that will inspire many others.
What an amazing story of courage and commitment to turn your life around. It just goes to show that no matter what we endure, it is love in the end that is the only thing that will bring us back and truly allow us to live a life of joy. Well done you and to the Universal Medicine teachings for being there for us to draw on.
This was huge to read. What it presented was the opportunity we have to change our life at any moment from choice. And keeping ideals and beliefs like playing nice or putting up with abuse is actually abusive. There are lots of these ideals and beliefs I can relate too as a woman. And it’s very inspiring to read how strong you have become by simply accepting who you are and not accepting abuse. Beautiful.
I am moved beyond words. Your story is truly inspiring. I too have accepted much abuse in my life, different stories but abuse none-the-less and thanks to the inspiration of Universal Medicine I am learning to build real foundations that are true, self-nurturing, self-honouring and loving. The shift you describe is momentus. Thank you.
I am deeply touched, thank you for being so honest and sharing with us your experiences. This is so very inspiring for anyone who has experienced any kind of abuse. How awesome you have now found who you truly are – the beautiful sassy lady that was there all the time just waiting to come out.
I agree Gill very humbling indeed and what a turnaround. A new foundation is now possible, shared so beautifully.
I love the clarity of your journey throughout the blog, its so inspirational! I also like they way you describe foundations as something you are “building upon daily” which actually shows really well how actually foundations are set in stone but more so the choices you choose to live everyday and everyday you can make a new choice.
Beautifully expressed and an amazing blog to share and the turnarounds and healing that can happen with honesty and willingness. Wow. Thank you
Inspiring that you shared this. The foundation that you describe was really awful but how amazing is it that with just changing our choices we can change our lives.
Anonymous, your article brings light to the insidious nature of abuse. With honesty and openness you are leading a true way forward, this shines, thank you so much.
And I loved the way you talked about your experiences of being in an abusive relationship without judgement, and simply stated what occurred and how you dealt with it.
I am honoured and touched by all the comments and support everyone has offered, it supports the new foundational understanding I have that life will reflect back that we put time and effort into. I used to see life through the understanding no-one really cared about me, as I felt no-one listened to me or stood up for me, but in truth it was I that was not listening to myself or making the changes I craved.
As soon as I saw this understanding to be false, and took the steps to actively build this in my life I have received so much love and support. The love and support has always been there I just had made it impossible for that love and support to get through to me. I made it impossible to see the love and support that was all around me when I took the steps to not love and support myself. And the greatest part is I no longer crave love and support from others, and when it is there it is simply a beautiful confirmation of that I already hold and nurture deeply within.
To discover that it is all already within us, everything we need and desire, was a massive turning point for me.
I agree Michael, “Where you get to, Anonymous, is a lesson for us all.”
So many feelings came to me as I read your blog and the biggest was hope. You have the power to inspire so many with your story and to give so many the knowledge that they can face up to abuse and create a new life of love. Where you get to is a lesson for us all.
Absolutely Michael. That we can face up to such horrendous abuse and still be able to choose love. Deeply inspiring. This confirms the huge capacity for love in our lives which defines our true nature.
A very very powerful blog.
Very true, Graham.
How amazing that you are turning your life round like this, and building a new foundation that honours you.
I know I too have built a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect myself and like you I am choosing to be open to seeing how that foundation was made and more importantly choosing to build a new foundation for myself based on the love that I know I am and have always been. Thank you for a very honest blog and one that has allowed me to go deeper with my own unfolding.
Elaine I am honoured what I have written has been a support for you, I am so glad I have been able to turn such a horrible part in my life to be the healing inspiration it is now, this I deeply appreciate.
Thank you for the courage to share your story so openly. It is an inspiration to read how you have found a true and loving way to choose a new foundation.
It is inspiring when we share our stories, it also offers others an insight into why others may be the way they are. I can have no anger towards my ex-husband as I was the one who chose to stay. He is a great man as all men are. He had experienced much abuse and craziness when he was growing and forming the man he would become, it was horrible to see his anguish after he would realise how deeply he hurt me, but he did not know what to do with this anguish and self despair so it just got stored away in his body with the rest of his pain and this meant next time the abuse came with that much more force. I always wanted to save my ex-husband as I saw I had grown up with so many opportunities and he had not. Eventually I realised the most loving and supportive thing I could do was leave him and let him feel the pain of his own ways catching up with him. This was a huge revelation I came to, I know it changed my life and I am pretty sure it may have offered my ex-husband an opportunity to stop and consider how he was going about life.
I have been deeply touched by this blog and the way you have let go of the false beliefs about life. This comment above particularly resonates with me, ‘Eventually I realised the most loving and supportive thing I could do was leave him and let him feel the pain of his own ways catching up with him.’ I feel there is much for us to learn about true love in relationships.
I feel humbled by all you have shared. Thank you for looking back and seeing how the hurt you experienced shaped what you then took and lived as normal. You shared connections I wouldn’t have considered but seem so logical. It is inspiring that you are now building a way of living that recognises what an amazing woman you are.
I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman. These new foundations are the ones I am building upon daily so that I keep growing and expanding the amazingness that is me.
I have also been humbled and expanded with all that I have shared, witting this blog has offered me the opportunity to claim my love. My love is what was holding me as I stumbled and gracefully walked through my healing process. First and foremost my most important relationship I have evolved is my responsibility to lovingly know and connect to myself and all relationships with others are a natural extension of this.
We are blessed to have people in this world who, like you, still make the choice to live love even after years of abuse and mistreatment. You are an absolute inspiration.
Very beautifully said Susie, we are blessed by the strength of love you have shown us in your life and the exciting bit is, now you have re-connected to your Love and exposed everything in your life that is not in keeping with this power, what happens next? This is just the beginning of your return and I look forward to hearing in a few years time what this sassy and beautiful woman is up to.
Great point well made, Susie. It is so easy to hold onto the hurts and fears and live from them, but to step away from that and make the empowered choice to choose love in every moment as your basis takes strength and courage.
Also well said, Jenny. What has been expressed here so openly and without shame or blame, has taken true courage. The depth of abuse is profound but so too, is the depth of love in this beautiful, strong and sassy woman. I cherish this blog for its complete and comprehensive, no stone unturned, approach. It is all about foundations and the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in bringing awareness and understanding to the importance of making conscious self-loving choices that support and allow in our innate and natural amazingness, can never be under-valued. I am truly inspired – choosing love in every moment is indeed, an empowering choice.
Yes, she is an inspiration Susie.
How blessed are you Anonymous, and all of us, to have Serge Benhayon to inspire us and show us that we do have a choice and we can choose to live a life of love. We then stop these old patterns and become an inspiration for others.
Well said Lorraine – I couldn’t agree more.
I agree Susie, and we are blessed to have the Benhayon Family who have made this possible, with their loving support and inspiration. I had given up on myself and life before the Benhayon’s slowly reintroduced me to love, now I am ready to explore living in a way that offers the same inspiration and love I am continually offered.
Yes Susie we are all blessed with the ability to inspire, I feel inspiration is felt when we can feel another making the choice to self initiate what will happen in their life rather than be the byproduct of what ever life dishes out. It is so empowering to self initiate our lives.
This blog is profound, it touched me so deeply and I absolutely appreciate you sharing it with us all. Thank you.
Thank you, it has been a great gift for me to share it. I am continually offered more opportunities to reflect and go deeper through the process of writing the blog and interacting with the amazing people who are leaving comments, Thank you Judy and everyone.
Wow, your story is enough to bring anyone to tears. Not just because of the abuse you endured but even more so when you see how clearly we create these beliefs and ideals, as you so aptly describe, which keep us in these prisons. It also goes to show how false they are that you can connect immediately to the truth and beauty of yourself having felt it from another.
Jenny as I read your comment I realised there is another way of seeing all that I believed to be true as untrue. I had to constantly feed these ideas and beliefs by playing them out or thinking about them, but yet the moment I stopped doing this they have fallen away like they never existed. We know love is true as it needs nothing to feed it to survive, as we saw in my life experience it was actually suppressed and kicked aside to be forgotten about but yet love was always there waiting for me to return, love just “is” it needs nothing to feed it to exist, where as false aspect of life, belief, idea or lies need a constant source of feeding to stay alive. They do not actually exist with out this constant feeding….
The concept that we build a “false foundation” out of the backwards and very unloving things that happen in our early life is a huge revelation!!
If we would all take an honest look at what we have built to stand on/live from…and could see that even from such abuse you have re-built it from truth and love…humanity would begin to make different choices, choices to come back to who we really are. Thank You.
Agreed Jo – this is a huge revelation.
I agree Jo and Jessica, when it was presented by Serge Benhayon at a relationship workshop it was too much for me to process all at once. I had to go home and process what I had been offered and how to apply it to my life. At first I only scratched the surface but then it became blatantly obvious how to take this process deeper. We can continue to expand the process of exposing false foundations as there is always a new level we can renounce as not true in our lives.
YES Jo I agree what a revelation about how we build a false foundation.
I recall Serge Benhayon presenting that what we repeat becomes our foundation.
For me I have made the commitment to choose to deeply love and care for myself and be consistent everyday. This is my new real foundation and it supports me in every area of my life. The rewards are huge.
Thank you for this blog that supports us all, knowing that we too can build a new and supportive foundation for our life whatever our past may hold.
My absolute pleasure and joy Sue.
Wow thank you for sharing your experiences. Deeply inspiring. I was so struck in the way you have recounted your past abuse. Not an ounce of blame or identification. Amazing. You are not the abuse that happened you. You have claimed the beautiful sassy woman that you are and building a true foundation based on love. Hugely healing and inspiring to read. Thank you.
I agree Anne Marie, it is amazing to be able to look back and not have an ounce of judgement or blame about what happened, truly inspiring, Thank you!
And it feels amazing, Chris & Jenny James have a song that expresses how I feel in my body, the words are “it feels amazing…… it feels so right”.
This is such an inspirational blog thank you, exposing the false foundations you had, and the power and strength that come from what you are putting into your new foundation. I can feel the expansion in your new foundation, it feels amazing.
Agreed…
Thank you Gill.
Just an incredible blog – the clarity with which you break down what you learnt as you grew up and the approach you have clearly developed to your life now, and of building your own new foundations is a powerful story that can help those in a similar situation. Thank you for having the courage to share this with us all.
Absolutely, Simon. That is really the power of what is expressed here. There is no blame in what is written, it simply lays out what happened and what was learned as a way of coping with life through the lens of that experience, but then the choice to change it all despite what for so many would have been a continuing spiral, is truly powerful and inspiring.
I agree Simon it is a map on how to dismantle a foundation we have built from past hurts. It is a very simple process and can be applied to anyones foundation, wether similar to mine or vastly different. It was the process I wanted to share with the world, and my life experiences were a tool that helped me to do this. Thank you for your loving support.
What’s so beautiful about this is that you have seen through the lies of what you had learnt and accepted as true. How many of us do that and spend our whole lives living from accepted truths that are lies because underneath we feel hurt? You are a beautiful example that even the deepest hurts can be healed.
Yes Shevon, and it is all possible because of the immense amount of Love that entered my life when I sought out Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and then when I was ready – I made the changes.
Thank you for this very honest and open account of your life and the various forms of abuse. What inspired me is how you spoke up, even though you were not taken seriously and received no support – to then go on to build a new foundation which is so far removed from your previous life.
Julie I can feel the appreciation and support you share with me in your words, and yes it is amazing how we can turn our lives around. I have gone from some one not game to make eye contact with anyone to openly expressing and allowing others in, Wow.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are awesome!!
Thank you Susan, I agree!
What an amazing blog, it is a very powerful way to show how each experience starts to build a belief about yourself or the world around you. I can feel from the way you wrote about your life that these beliefs got packed in, one on top of the other, to the point of feeling totally powerless. Yet here you are now, so clearly enjoying rediscovering yourself and building a new foundation, this is truly wonderful.
Very true Rosanna.
Yes Rosanna, I agree with your comment.
I agree Rosanna. I unconsciously built these beliefs one on top of the other over the years but when I consciously decided to look at these beliefs how and why they were formed they were all unravelled and disassembled in a manner of hours, if not minutes.
This is such an amazing blog, thank you for sharing your story – your strength, courage and honesty is so inspiring. It shows that no matter where we’ve been, we can always change, and that holding onto hurts and protections is not a solid foundation to live with – you’ve prompted me to look at my foundations and consider where I may still have a ‘poor me’ mentality, or have given up – I feel not an ounce of self-pity or judgement in your blog, and this prompts me to consider those places where I may still have either of these. Thank you, you are amazing and in sharing that, you’re allowing me and others to consider and be more of our own amazingness.
Monica it is a great point you make about the lack of self pity and judgement. I feel I suffered from being prone to these two traits right up until I sat down and openly and honestly looked at all the occurrences in my life and the way one built on the next. When I saw it this way there was no room for judgement or self-pity as it simply had no way of fitting into what I was mapping out for myself. It was simply a process of observing a lot of the major occurrences in my life, how these impacted me and my future choices.
What you share in your comment has been a deep learning for me. thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, I feel the depth of love, understanding and grace with your approach, and how you simply express it here, it is deeply inspiring. This is acceptance and responsibility – true love in action.
A beautiful comment Monica.
Thank you for your willingness to write the facts of your experience, so that we may all learn and be inspired to recognise that we have built our own false foundations from instincts of survival; and because we chose them then for that reason, now we can choose differently and start to build our true foundation.
My pleasure Joan, it is a beautiful process, enjoy the love that expands in your body when you sit down and discover if you have a foundation, how it was formed and the joy of choosing a new foundation.
So true Mary, underneath all our hurts, pains and fears we are the same amazing beautiful people and how incredible it is when we stop and begin to realise that we no longer have to live from them any more.
Wow, thank you for this amazing open and honest post. I found your story a moving one to read and felt honoured by your choice to share it. You have powerfully shown that what has happened to us and where we have been does not need to shape our life going forward, it is possible to make a profound shift and build our life on a new foundation of Self-Love.
Also you have obviously done a lot of reflecting, and for each of the significant events listed you have clearly defined the beliefs you added to your foundation. This provides a great example for the rest of us, about how each of us might have done similar at different stages of our own life, and how we might be walking around with foundations that would serve us to re-imprint as you have. Thank you.
Thank you Golnaz, you expressed just what I would say, and in that you have said it all.
Golnaz, I am honoured that you feel this is an example of how we can turn our life around and be the one steering at the stern. This was the purpose I felt when writing this blog. I felt it was important to show how, step by step, I formed a foundation and how this foundation effected what I chose to allow in my life and lastly how it is my choice to go back and dismantle all these ideals and beliefs that made up my false foundation.
You write so simply, practically and therefore accessibly. To honestly reflect on, review and dismantle the false foundations we have created, leaving the path ahead clear for true choices is huge. Thank you.
I am so glad you feel this way Golnaz, the very reason I wrote this piece was to remind us all, that we may be walking around with false foundations and it is a very simple process to go back look at events that stood out in our lives and nominate how this impacted on how we viewed the world, our beliefs and ideals. The beauty that spread through my body when I nominated this old stuff and how it effected how I viewed life, was profound and is still growing within me. I wanted to share this opportunity with everyone, the world.
We live in a world with untold amounts of abuse and I deeply appreciate how you have courageously shared with us that there is a way to heal it and live the truth of who you are – not a victim of the hurts and beliefs that had once held you captive, but the strength, power and love that are palpable in your words. Your sharing is so inspiring to me. Thank you for writing this blog.
Thank you for your support and appreciation Jinya, it has been deeply felt.
I agree Ryan, beautifully expressed Jinya. Thank you anonymous for sharing your experiences in this incredibly inspiring blog.
So true Jinya.
Jinya, you have said everything I felt as I read this amazing article.
Anonymous, for me it is astounding the courage and strength that goes into not simply just “surviving” the abuse, and most people would be unsurprised and probably expecting you to be a mess and have loads of issues and what ever, but instead of surviving, your living a life of vitality and honesty, with a willingness to deal with what you have experienced, and there is nothing greater or more inspiring, so thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story. It’s so very powerful to see how we abuse others, ourselves and how so many people just give up and accept it. Your courage and willingness to claim that whilst it was your experience, it had nothing to do with your foundation, is a true inspiration.
Wow. What a powerful declaration of Truth and the insidious nature of a false foundation built upon ideals and beliefs as a result of painful/traumatic experiences and what other people tell us. The Truth being that one can change one’s foundation.
Yes it is a gift to know, one, we have a foundation and two, where it originates from and lastly that we can create a new foundation with ways we already know to be supportive and loving but do not live on a daily basis. It is a earth shattering revelation, life changing….
Wow Anonymous, your chosen path is deeply inspiring and you now have so much to offer others in simply sharing and being the woman you are today – Amazing.
Thank you for such an honest and open sharing and for the new foundation you are now creating for yourself and for all.
I agree Anna, it does not matter where we come from but if we realise why we are the way we are in life, by discovering we come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs that has been built by our past hurtful experiences, we have so much to offer the world. We are all in relationships with each other and when issues arise they normally arise because we have reacted to what another has done because we have felt hurt by it, but the hurt we feel actually has more to do with the ideas and beliefs we have accumulated through our life’s past experiences and when another acts contrary to this we feel hurt by it, we can personalise it and feel another is doing it to us. And when we sit back and look at why we reacted, what beliefs and ideas do we hold in that type of given situation and where we first formed these ideas and beliefs, we see the falsity under which we formed these ideas and beliefs and totally take the driving force away that lays behind the ideals and beliefs. This process is simply amazing.
You have expressed such truth here and so clearly shown how reacting, and then personalising our hurts is what contributes to the building of such a false foundation to our lives in the first place. It is awesome to know that once we see this all comes from the ideals and beliefs we’ve accumulated through our life’s past experiences, we are then free to claim and live the amazingness and Love that had been there all along – buried under those smothering layers of hurt.
This is a very powerful story that one can learn much from, it is very easy to judge what you see and then react but as we can clearly see from this article there is so much more going on then we know, in so many situations. It is therefore paramount that we get to know ourselves on a true and deep level so that we are not dictated to by our hurts.
Agreed Amina, as I was reading your words “there is so much more going on than we know, in so many situations.” I felt quite strongly this goes beyond our personal selves and would be very powerful if we also had this understanding for others. Quite often our hurts are created with the involvement of others. If we could have more understanding for others, we would not react and get hurt by them playing out their reactions and hurts, rather we would see it is them reacting to their own hurts, rather than getting hurt by their actions thinking they are doing it to us .
A great comment, I totally agree: “if we could have more understanding for others, we would not react and get hurt by them playing out their reactions and hurts, rather we would see it is them reacting to their own hurts, rather than getting hurt by their actions thinking they are doing it to us”, this quote is so powerful and provides a way out of the cycle.
Thank you for sharing your experiences of learning what a true foundation is and how it can support you in your daily choices. You write: “I learnt that I had the choice whether to keep living from this false foundation I had made from past experiences/hurts, pain and protection or I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” It is such a beautiful and simple way of expressing how making the choice to change your foundation can alter everything that we experience. Thank you.
Agree Samantha. This is such a powerful blog – it is truly inspiring to hear about your journey.
Yes Samantha it is beautiful and a simple way of understanding life, and it makes sense. The most beautiful part is it is a forever unfolding process of refining what is acceptable and what is no longer acceptable in our life.
Beautiful, I love ‘it is a forever unfolding process of refining what is acceptable and what is no longer acceptable in our life’. This is so true.
Agree, Samantha. This is a very powerful blog. Reading the beginning of the article was hard but then reading the end was very inspiring … that we can all choose to change the foundations that shape our life and feel the difference this can make.
The is great Samantha and as Ariana says above – acknowledging our feelings is key here.
What an amazing journey from darkness to truth. We can all say we have ‘come from a foundation of ideals and beliefs to protect ourselves’ not as horrific as yours, but if never acknowledged, we are lost. You are proof that with love you will never be lost.
Agreed, I feel one of the important parts of my story is the very fact that if we do not acknowledge we have come from a foundation of ideals and beliefs to protect ourselves we run the very real chance of dismissing instances that help create these ideals and beliefs by shrugging them off saying its’ “not that bad”. Each time we do this life shows us something a little more extreme so we can claim the fact this occurrence is not okay.
In my youth I remembered feeling the man that sat me on his knee, was very creepy and quite sexually motivated, but because I got away and no rape happened I told myself it was not really that bad, I kept being offered different sexual experiences that were off and because I did not name them as not right for me, the sexual instances became extreme abuse, but by then I was so numb I did not even realise it was abuse.
So yes it is important for us to always acknowledge any thing that does not feel right as it is an opportunity to claim what we accept and do not accept, which in turn effects the person we become and the life we live.
That is very, very true – its as if we keep swallowing larger doses of poison, because we keep denying how it makes us feel, until like you say, we are so numb that we just can’t feel the effect anymore. What is so sad is that the more we shrug off and deny the real significance of minor incidents, the more we allow abuse to fester and grow. Any intention to harm another is evil and when we truly stand up for ourselves and one another, then we don’t give that evil intention any space to grow. To begin to live our lives from a foundation of what is truly acceptable is very powerful and you have demonstrated that is possible, even after extreme abuse, we can still positively affect “the person we become and the life we live”.
How amazing that you have turned your life around from the hideous abuse that you have experienced. What an inspiration you offer to those who have also experienced abuse of ANY kind.
I agree Rachel, it is amazing. With the Support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I was offered the understanding that I could choose a new way and be the one who chooses how my life is going to be. This sounds so simple, yet it amazes me how many ways we give away the ability to completely choose which way our life is headed simply through believing there is nothing we can do to change how life comes to us. The act of giving this power away is abuse, self abuse.
Choosing to make our own way forward in life, by choosing the foundation we will have within ourselves to live by….. it does sound so simple when put in this way, amazing Anonymous, thank you.
Dear Anonymous, I love the point you make here, that giving our power way is self abuse. I am inspired by how you have focused on deepening your awareness about the false foundations, so that you never give your power away ever again and can build new foundations that truly support you.
You’ve opened my eyes to something here. I’d never considered giving one’s power away as abuse. That is self abuse! Thank you.
Hi Anon., your words here in this comment, “The act of giving this power away is abuse, self abuse.” resonate deeply. Whether we have lived through such harsh circumstance, or we ‘think’ our lives are grand, have we truly stopped to look at what we accept, in any degree of dullness and apathy?
Are we truly living and deeply committing to the foundations of real love of which you speak?
Thank-you for your piece. It offers much for us all to consider. And I would like here to celebrate you for the woman you are today. What the love you have chosen has already restored (exemplified in being able to write this piece) leaves you no less than a living miracle in my eyes and heart.
Thank God for Universal Medicine and the part it has played for you.
Very simply stated, giving our power away is self abusive. A powerful point to take with me through my day, thank you.
I was just thinking about abuse on different levels and what you say about self abuse. There is the abuse that comes to us through life from others which can be traumatic, but also there is abuse from ourselves when we make choices that don’t come from love. This may fluctuate and change depending on where we are in our own development. For example, it may be that eating pasta is a perfect support to give the body energy, but there may come a time when the body can’t handle it or digest it. Eating it then becomes an abusive action to oneself. I have watched the many little choices I make that go against what is needed to support myself at the time. Over time, the little choices add up to quite a lot of disregard. Equally, it’s also great to note all the small loving choices that I make and how that builds over time, too. It’s a constant observation between the two and a tissle tassel of what to choose…. there is a tension, but with commitment there is a constant building of deeper love.
I agree with what you said Rachel and then read the reply. It is amazing how life can be turned around when we choose a new way and so many believe that there is nothing that can be done to change their lives – this is such an inspiring blog, one I keep coming back to read again and again.
This is so true, ‘with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I was offered the understanding that I could choose a new way and be the one who chooses how my life is going to be.’ This has also been my experience and it has been a very beautiful, simple and self-empowering journey.
Yes Rachel this is very true.
Very true Rachel, this is an amazing inspiration.
Thank you immensely for sharing your chronicle of despair with us. It shows immense strength and courage. As I read it I kept thinking, ‘how could things get any worse’?
Thankfully you met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and with their support you have been able to turn your life around.
I used to look at my past and feel the despair but since mapping out how I formed all my ideals and beliefs from these past hurts/traumas, it is like they have no power over me, it is now just a sad story I have seen it is not my sad story.
How freeing this is to know. That the ideals and beliefs no longer have power over you. To feel how they have been created from the outside and in truth not part of who we really are. Thank you.
That’s so amazing that you’ve let go of it so much, what a shining example you are to humanity.
Dear Anonymous, I feel very humbled reading this… We accept abuse in many forms but don’t realise that we form our beliefs on it too and so it continues. Thank you for sharing your amazing story and showing there is a way to come back to Love, no matter what has been.
Yes Susan, I found it to be a ground breaking revelation. Once I had this information it was very simple to go back and look at all the experiences that stood out in my life, how I viewed them and how they effected me, and extremely powerful, hence why I wanted to share this piece of writing with the world. It does not matter if people have had a past like me or not, it serves greatly to sit down and lovingly reflect on our past experiences.
Yes I agree, this is in such contrast to how many people want to view their painful past experiences. I, for one, tried to ‘forget and move on’ but I found there was always a pain and sadness lurking within me as if all I had done was buried it. Reflecting on painful experiences feels like there is a responsibility being made, an acceptance of my own choices, a learning and growth which I find far more healing. In doing this it gives me the opportunity to let go of them once and for all.
What I loved most about this blog was that it shares an amazing story that will relate to many people who’ve experienced the same thing, but it does more than that… it offers another way if the reader so chooses. Inspiring.
So true what you share, we form our beliefs on what we experience and continue our lives on this not realising that possibly what we have experienced is not the norm and we have a choice to change it. What a crazy cycle we get caught up in.
Susan it is such a common thing to just want to move on and not dwell, but in my experience the past if not dealt with and accepted becomes something that influences every move you make unconsciously it seems, but often not really that unconscious. There really is no other way but to reflect on what has occurred, accept with great honesty and respect for all involved parts played and love, love for you and all around you. No one is perfect and allowing those in our past some grace goes along way as this blog shows so clearly. Inspirational.
However bad it looks there is a way back to Love, simply and beautifully shared in this blog. By letting go of our hurts and false beliefs we are free to make true choices in tender, understanding relationship with ourselves.
I agree Susan, this article is deeply powerful and will inspire many people.
Thank you for sharing your experience of abuse. Your sharing will reach many in the world to inspire them – that you always have a choice to change things and bring in new loving choices. Your blog is a great inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your story, it is an inspiration for anyone who has built foundations of low self-worth based on their life experiences, to see that by making different choices their lives can be completely turned around into one of self-love, self-appreciation and beauty.
A great inspiration for anyone who has suffered abuse. Thanks for sharing your powerful story. As others have said there is no hint of blame or feeling the victim in your words.
A remarkable and inspiring life story. I felt complete joy reading and feeling the embracing of yourself in light of the afore together with the deep appreciation and gratitude for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon — as you wrote:
“I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity”.
Awesome words, thank you for writing.
This is a lovely reminder Mary that ‘underneath all the hurts and pain – we are all the same amazing, beautiful people.’
Dear Anonymous, what you have shared here is a gift of gold. Your true strength and clarity is deeply inspiring, thank you.
Dear Anonymous, your blog is an inspiration to me. From such abuse to such amazingness, as soon as you realised your foundations harmed you, is just awesome. I know I procrastinate under the false pretense of having to work through something whilst still holding onto it. Your blog says to me that there is no reason to cling to any foundations based on hurt and distrust, for the simple fact that if it harms, it has no place in a foundation based on love. Wow again and thank you.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. It is beautiful to know that from a four hour presentation by Universal Medicine, you are able to come to such a space of clarity and change your foundations. It is awesome. So many of us have so many hurts and we have held onto them for so long, lived with them, and allowed them to dictate our future without having the awareness that we can in fact choose a new foundation to live from; so that we don’t have to carry the hurt and pain into our present and future.
Your honesty in sharing what happened and the how your beliefs were held from that event is very powerful here, because to me it feels like the key is knowing, being honest and seeing if the belief is actually true to you today. If it is not, then I have the opportunity to change the belief and I can choose what I believe is true or not. Just because I made a choice to believe years ago, I can choose differently today… And that allows for real change!
I agree Rosie, sometimes it can feel like our patterns, behaviours and beliefs will be the same for the rest of our lives, if we get caught up in them. But giving your self the time to step back and realise you built your foundation to begin with, you can build another one is so freeing.
This is such a truly wonderful sharing.
Thank you to the person who so generously chose to share her story so that all may know that it is possible not just to recover from awful abuse to a level of getting by, but to get to a point where you look back at your abuse without any blame, as you have done here in this blog. As you are able to say, so clearly and strongly ‘I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman’. Your strength and clarity is remarkable.
THANK YOU for this great blog, a very real, tangible and honest sharing. Reading your blog made me stop to check where in my life I still have foundations based on past hurts. Your blog brought a lot of awareness of abusive situations I experienced in my life.
Well said Priscila, I too have pondered on where my foundations are still grounded with past hurts or sadness – comparing those foundations to the ones founded with love and commitment to myself could not be so obviously different!
What a deeply honest and courageous piece of writing. I am sure this will be of great support to those who have suffered abuse, and I would say to anyone who is affected by struggle in their lives. What an amazing miracle you have created in removing the old patterns of abuse and building a new foundation that now supports you to live with full appreciation for yourself.
Dear Anonymous, this is the most inspiring article with your coming through abuse to the loving, strong and beautiful woman that pours out from every word written here.
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Anonymous, your story is incredible in how it shows that being exposed to just 4 hours of truth being spoken was enough for you to turn your whole way of surviving (and perpetuating) such harshness and cruelty around and choose to re build yourself a true foundation from the love and knowing you recognize had been in you all along. Such transformation; the world needs to see. Such courage and strength. THANK YOU
We can read about abuse, domestic violence and getting restraining orders etc, but nothing has ever fleshed out my understanding of how life has been for the person involved as much as this account has. By combining your amazingness with the resilience the human body has, you have shown us all it is possible to build a true foundation to one’s life no matter what has gone before. You have shown nothing is insurmountable when this true amazingness is felt, claimed and lived.
Enjoy celebrating being that ‘beautiful strong sassy caring woman who is extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around and within you. How awesome you now live from the foundation of knowing you are cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of oneself and humanity. Enjoy it to the max!
This is an extraordinary charting of the path of giving up in the face of complete abuse, and the path of return. Dear anonymous, this has such power because it reaches out to every single person who has allowed abuse, and it says “As I have rebuilt myself…so you can too”. Thank you.
Beautifully said Rachel “As I have rebuilt myself…so you can too” and as this writing shows it really is possible, it is extraordinary and yet we all have the power within to chose to rebuild no matter how difficult a beginning in life you have had or the choices you have made that have not served you. Amazingly powerful piece of expression, thank you.
Perfectly said Rachel, it does reach out and show everyone that it is possible to build a true foundation of love even after one has been through such hell. Truly inspiring.
That is a beautiful observation Rachel. Thank you.
Thank you for such an amazing article, I take my hat off to you and your ability to look back with no judgement or victimisation. I can only imagine what you have been though, but to read how you have been able to change the foundation from protection you lived with as a result, to one of love is phenomenal – I have to say I am in awe. I just want to say (although I am sure you already know) that you are more than worth absolute love and I hope that is what you give yourself everyday. Thank you for sharing this, it was beautiful to read.
What a powerful piece of writing, thank you for your honesty. For me it is a big wake up call to see how buying into the ‘poor you’ approach, that I had perfected over the years, just doesn’t support anyone to move on.
Enjoy your new foundation.
Wow. I am at once humbled and inspired by the story of your life so far. Your decision to build new foundations, building your amazingness and the fact that you have presented this with no judgement or blame, has just blown me away. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story and how much your life changed when your mother left home, taking 2 of your sisters with her without saying a word to you, and how it shattered an 8 year olds sensitivity and understanding of life; and then went on to shape your life by what you learnt from this. We need to re-define the word abuse, many still see abuse as being something that physically happens to us, as there is then a clear sign that abuse has taken place, but this is not always the case, as you clearly felt and experienced when a man who was also a friend of your father sat you on his knee.
This paragraph sums up clearly how our old foundations stop us from moving forward and making new choices…. “Once I reflected back over the ways my old foundations were formed I could then look at what they actually were and the effect they had on me. I have realised they were not there to support and protect me and they were in fact not even true and only caused me even more harm. All my old foundation did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.”
The amazing thing is that once we realise that we do have a choice, we can change what is happening in our lives. It is never too late to set new foundations, as I too am learning from the amazing workshop that Serge Benhayon presented recently.
I so agree with you Alison, that we need to re-define the word abuse as it is not just physical abuse that happens to us.
I suffered an enormous about of emotional abuse as a teenage bride and I remember calling the police and they just put it down to a domestic violence situation involving alcohol. I was literally told in not so many words that nothing was going to be done; so this is when I thought I was over-reacting and in future must learn to say nothing as it really was not abuse as I did not end up in hospital.
Alison and Bina, I agree with both of you that the definition of ‘abuse’ needs to be changed. Essentially anything that is not with love is abuse – but this is too much for most people to handle. Psychological and emotional abuse is starting to be recognised more and more for what it is, it can in many cause a longer term scar then physical abuse.
It’s utterly amazing to feel the deep sense of inspiration I have taken from this blog and for you. What an incredible person you are to have walked that path and yet written this with such strength and I feel, love. It asks us here to “leave a comment”, and so my comment to you is “You are amazing!”
I agree Phil, there is a lot about this blog that is amazingly humbling, and for me I have a very deep admiration for the author, not just for what they went though, but also because of their commitment to let go and come back to love.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing so openly and honestly the many painful events in your life, and the ideals and beliefs you took on as a result of these events. It was lovely to read and feel the beautiful changes that occurred within you, when you made the choice to create new foundations based on self-love. A very inspiring blog.
Dear Anonymous. You are an amazing woman expressing very clearly what happened in your life. It takes a lot of courage to express what has been for you the most horrid ordeal. As divine sparks we have absolute power to choose a new foundation at any time in our lives and you have chosen to trust in your beautiful self. You have chosen LOVE and nobody and nothing can take it from you.
There are no words to say about this except Thank You. Thank You for sharing your experiences with the world. Thank you for showing that a life of abuse is not something that cannot be changed. And most of all Thank You for such inspiration.
Simply wow. Thank you for sharing that we do have the power to change our foundation. It is all our little every-day choices that build up and create what we stand on and no matter what has happened in the past, we still have the choice to change today.
Thank you for sharing your traumatic experience of growing up and showing how insidious ideals and beliefs can be and how they can control our life.
Thank you, I really appreciate this gift you have shared with us all. It has helped me to look back with more honesty at my old foundations.
Reading your blog gave me a real wake up call as to what some people have to put up with and what we as humans do to survive such horrible experiences. Having been through all this but still knowing that what ever happens to you, you never ever lose the true beautiful you inside. What a strong, wonderful person you are as this blog is really powerful and people will learn a lot from it. Thanks for sharing your story.
I agree Kevin, this blog was a wake up call, but for me it was also deeply inspiring. To be able to go though all the abuse you experienced, and come out the other side, and be writing about it in such a powerful way is amazing. You haven’t let your past choices or experiences define you, and you have made the choice to change the abuse you allowed, and I think that is amazing.
Thanks Kevin McHardy as you just gave me a wake up call to say why on earth do we put up with abuse in any form and what you say ‘What do we as humans do to survive such horrible experiences’. I recall being a victim of emotional abuse in my 20’s but never seeing a way out. I remember saying ‘I have no choice’ and that is what continued it until a work colleague said simply – ‘say No’. That was the start of my road to freedom and building the life that I deserve.
Today with the help of Serge Benhayon I can honestly say I do not allow abuse in my life and I support many others to present another way to live which is free of abuse.
I agree, this is a strong and powerful blog and I have learnt much from going back and re-reading plus all the hundreds of comments confirms this was a story worth sharing.
A true healing on many levels.
Such a powerful blog post. Thank you for sharing how you realised where your foundations had come from. During a Universal Medicine course presented by Serge Benhayon, I realised that because I was adopted, and that this was because my father didn’t want my mother to keep me, I felt unwanted. I carried this fear of not being wanted into all relationships, mainly with men, and I ended up being very needy. It upset me to realise that but allowed me to see why I was behaving that way and work on accepting myself, and not needing another person to want me to feel worthy. This has changed so much in my life, especially with regard to relationships and my expectations from others.
It is so clear reading through this account how we mould our way of being in our lives on all the messages and hurts we experience. It is so understandable that the process described here (though unique to each of our experiences) is how we form our foundations of how to live our lives, how we regard ourselves, how we value (or not) our gender, what we come to expect from the opposite gender and more. This is an awesomely self-reflective, inspiring article.
What were my experiences? What did I learn from that? What did that teach me? Are the protective behaviours I picked up from those particular experiences still running the show? And if so: is that really the way I would choose? And if not…well awesome – here’s the inspiration to choose a new way, new foundations – which is clearly very possible no matter what has come before; our experiences are not who we are and do not need to define us or determine our way forward, which is tangible in this great account. Thank you so much to the author of this blog for sharing this process, it is valuable for us all whatever our life experience is.
Such a powerful blog – thankyou for sharing, and showing how magnificently life can be turned around when we choose it. From desperation to having “the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me”. Truly life-changing.
Thank you for sharing your story. A great example of how what we are told and experience as children can create false patterns and beliefs that we take into adult life. Really lovely to read of your turn around and your new foundations of Love.
Your story is real and your true loving foundation today has allowed you to write about your painful past and that is deeply inspiring – so thank you for sharing. There are a few things that really surprised me and one was that a judge did not believe in domestic violence and the police would talk to you in a way that was completely un-professional and harmful.
What is so amazing is when you say that your old foundation based on ideals and beliefs is what drew these experiences to you and now that you have chosen to build and develop a true loving relationship with yourself, all the abuse has stopped.
I know this to be true from my own life. The teachings of Serge Benhayon have inspired me to let go of my past deep buried hurts and I feel free inside me and this in turn has led to a foundation based on Truth, Love, Integrity and a deep sense of who I am.
Wow and thank you. Through it all, the spark of sweetness, awareness and sensitivity was never snuffed out. What a tribute to the power of love: always there, ready and waiting for us to choose. The demise of the false foundations for the re-building of truth….AMAZING.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing your story with such honesty and self-awareness of why you created this foundation for yourself. The strength with which you’ve shifted your foundation from one of abuse to love is inspirational.
Wow it is amazing to read your blog anonymous, ‘from a false foundation of abuse to a true foundation of self-love’, deeply inspiring.
It is truly amazing that someone who has been through so much abuse can become empowered to take responsibility for their future way of living, free of the past. I can’t help but wonder how many years of counselling this might have taken or if counselling would even have provided a way out of this dark existence? I know from my own non-comparable history, that the change happens through choice to live differently and the Will to do so. A brave story of a brave life.
Thank you Gayle. I tried many different counsellors and various therapies over the years, as when I gave birth to my son I could feel he deserved more than the huge mistrust I felt at that particular time towards nearly all men. In my experience, all of the counsellors I came across in the domestic violence sector also had a huge distrust and dislike of men and judged men just as much as me. So what I eventually came to realise is that going to these places was solidifying my distrust and judgement rather than healing it. What I also experienced is that many of the counsellors I talked to were deeply hurt and affected by my experience, and that they could not fully support me to heal a hurt which they were also affected by. I also felt my life had been painful enough for myself to endure and I did not want others to feel the same ugliness I had felt.
When I was first introduced to Universal Medicine, for the first time I was met by practitioners who did not get affected by my past, and who did not hold me in the recounting of my devastating experience, but held me in Love and reminded me that this could be lovingly focused on rather than all the messy pain and fear. In this I was able to recognise that the pain and hurt was still there for me, but it also supported me to lovingly understand and accept that although it was there, there was so much more to me than just that. And in this process, I was slowly able to work on healing the hurt that was there, and also developing the part of me that was not the hurt.
OMG! This is such a powerful piece. It contains no blame or shame but instead presents a clear and powerful observation of how we build and fortify the very foundations of all our beliefs and ideals; some fed to us and taken on, and others formulated from our hurt. No matter what our personal story, I feel that anyone (if not everyone) could relate to this and that no one could walk away from reading this without feeling empowered and inspired to take full responsibility for their own life and the breaking down of any foundation that no longer serves them in living in a way that supports all they truly are.
This article is a piece of gold and has touched me deeply. I felt that it is an article that should be splashed on the front page of every newspaper in the world. It is that powerful!
But as at this point of time this is not going to happen… it is as the author has stated, something that we can all turn around in ourselves and be walking evidence… “growing and expanding the amazingness that is me.”
My heart felt gratitude goes to you, the author for putting pen to paper and sharing not only your life story but the wealth of your wisdom and also to the teachings Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting a way of living, that if adhered to, changes everything.
This stunning blog has moved me to tears. Yes, tears for the way we have been and allowed the world to be, but more so for the qualities embodied by the author despite her travails.
The total lack of self-pity (in a field where victimhood is the norm), the absence of any judgement or blame for any of the perpetrators (where scapegoating to prevent any self examination is routine), the plain and simple language used to describe a horrific sequence of events (which serves to expose the stark reality for what it is), the identification then renunciation of the false foundations – followed by the acknowledgement of those who made her aware of her true plight leading to a final self-claiming without undue fanfare, make this the most astonishing blog I have read in a long time.
Or ever.
Vast circulation of this essay would serve mightily.
The exposure of the vile corruption that dwells beneath the glossy TV made facade of respectability that a society in denial wants to present as reality depends on brutally honest accounting such as this.
Brilliantly done, and thank you.
That is very true Andy, the circulation of this essay will serve many people because its a real life essay and is not drenched in self pity and victimhood, but is written with the strength and power of a woman who has re-claimed herself, gently but very, very firmly. This essay reveals a story that is far more common to us all than the squeaky clean facade we like to present to the world through mediums like our T.V programmes or glamour magazines – these are the issues we need to address and the author of this piece has opened the door for many others to see there is a very real and solid way to re-claim ourselves, regardless of the horrors we have been through.
Thank you very much for writing this. I felt deep sadness as I read what you’d experienced in the past – however the absolute JOY in which you now share the Love of your Sassy self brought me a lot of joy. Thank you for sharing with us that even from the deepest darkest abuse one can come out of this to build a new life, but a life from the inside out by addressing our hurts.
Thank you for sharing your story and for the reason you shared your story “I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves.” It takes a lot for someone to turn their life around as you have and it is truly inspiring, also wonderful to hear that you now know the amazingness you truly are.
Oh my. What a power-full story and power-full woman. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Such truth you speak and so important that these stories are told because you never hear them. That this return from abuse is possible and that you can build and stand on a new foundation. Awesome. Thank you.
I’m pretty knocked out by your story… How amazing, utterly fantastic that you came across Serge Benhayon and that you began to turn your life around and find the real you under all that abuse… I don’t know what else to say…you’re an absolute inspirational example to every human being on the planet! Thank you.
Wow thank you for sharing anonymous, how incredibly amazing are you for stopping to see through the lies the world has told you to keep you small and controlled. And that is what they are; lies, lies, lies. Thank you for inspiring us all through your story to show us that regardless of our past we can reclaim who we truly are and remodel our foundation based on what we know is true love.
A really inspiring article. Your journey shows it is entirely possible, if we so choose, to identify and put aside those beliefs we establish from our childhood hurts and replace them with a new foundation based on what we deeply know to be true.
Thank you for sharing with us on such a personal level. You have reminded us that no matter what happens to us, what choices we make, we are never truly lost. The love we are made of is never extinguished. All through your sharing, I could feel the truth that you knew life was not meant to be like that. You are a testament to the fact that when someone, in this case Serge Benhayon, so powerfully speaks the truth of who we are, we cannot but connect to that. We can all be abusers when we are not connected to the truth of who we are. Your emergence as the true and beautiful woman you are is so beautiful and an absolute inspiration. Thank you again.
Stunning! To be able to stop amidst so much pain and torture and start to question the foundations of your life to date, from zero self respect and 100% abuse is simply stunning. The very fact that you can claim so strongly “I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.” is a true miracle. This should be headline news and thank you deeply for sharing your amazing journey so that other people can know they too are beautiful and sacred, regardless of what they have been through. I too can vouch for the tremendous support Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in assisting me to address my lack of self worth and self destructive behaviours and to learn that I am also worth loving and cherishing, for simply being the beautiful delicate woman I am.
Thank you for this amazingly honest blog.
You are testament to claiming the “What Is” – who you truly are, free of the shackles of past trauma and hurt, and discarding the “What is Not” all of the those protections and beliefs that kept you in the most unsafe place and a cycle of misery and devastation.
Reading this I received an incredible healing and inspiration to further heal and develop my own foundations.
Dear Anonymous, what an incredibly open, raw and honest account of your life of abuse… What is most inspiring about this blog and what you have shared is that you share this with the clarity of the observation of the way your life was, not with judgement, regret or remorse, but simply bringing this back to the fact that you had built your life on a foundation of ideals and beliefs that did not support or represent who you naturally are and that were set up to protect you from your hurts. It is so deeply inspiring that you were able to take responsibility, to look at the basis of these old foundations and discard those that were not true, and to begin to build a new ‘true’ foundation that is now supporting you to be “a beautiful strong sassy caring woman… (who is) extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me”. The world needs more stories like yours to show there is another way, another way that does not deny or bury hurts even deeper, but lovingly looks at what hurts ‘are’ there, why they are there, and having the commitment and love for self to address them. Thank you deeply for sharing…
Absolutely Angela i agree, especially in feeling there was no judgement or remorse. It is truly inspiring.
Beautifully written Angela, I agree that ‘the world needs more stories like yours to show there is another way, another way that does not deny or bury hurts even deeper’.