From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love

This is my story of a life of abuse… and where it began…

Learning to Trust and Rely on No-One…

As a young child I grew up with only my father and one of my younger sisters, as my mother moved interstate one day with my oldest and youngest sisters and her new husband, unbeknownst to me and my sister. At that stage of my life I was attending primary school around the corner from her house. On the day she moved, I was about 8, I felt very strongly to go to her home. When I got there I saw a removalist truck pulling out with one of my sisters sitting in the front and my mum’s car driving away down the road. I was devastated. I knew this was goodbye and I lost two of my best friends and my mum from right under my nose.

From this I learnt a lot: I decided it was best not to listen to my feelings as they may lead me into great pain, and that just because I was born into a family this did not give me the right to expect to be a part of it, and that you can trust and rely on no-one because at any point in time they can disappear right from under you.

Learning I was not Loveable…

Later at about 12, I remember talking to my mum, telling her how hurt I was that she left without saying goodbye. How hurt I was every time I went to visit her and my sisters in the school holidays, when she would put me on the bus within a couple of days because her new husband and I clashed. I told her how it hurt that she would do this without any care whether anyone knew I was coming or was able to meet me at the end of my bus trip. When I told my mother of this hurt she was sad for me but told me her husband said it was either me or him. She told me I would only be around for another six years whereas her husband would be there for the rest of her life.

From this I learnt: I had to be very valuable to people or they would find a better option and leave me. That I was not loveable, even by my own mother, and that I was something people could toss to the side, as there were far greater things than me out there.

Learning I didn’t Matter…

On one occasion I remember arriving home one night at 2am at a highway truck stop by myself. When I went to call my dad reverse charges there was no answer as he had gone away. I remember the shame of having to call my best friend’s parents at 2am in the morning reverse charges asking them to come and pick me up as I had arrived back from my mum’s unexpectedly and dad was unreachable.

From this I learnt that: I mattered that little that my own mother would put me on the bus without any concern to what happened to me after she had said “see you later”. There was a huge shame in asking another for help, as they would get to see how unworthy I was considered to be even by my own family. That I was someone to be felt sorry for, as I was less than others.

Learning about the Church, Hell and God…

Growing up Dad did the best he could do. We grew up extremely religious and the church took pity on us and helped out for the first couple of years. The church paid for ladies to come and help around the home and look after us when Dad would go out.

From this I learnt: that we were not enough as a family and had to have a church support us, we were a charity case.

After Mum and Dad split up, dad no longer would take what the church called the sacrament of communion. I asked him when I was taking my communion vows why this was and he told me he was no longer worthy of communion as he had sinned when he lost my mother and the marriage.

From this I learnt a lot: I learnt that marriage was for life, and once you chose a bed to lay in you had better stay put or you are damning yourself to the fires of hell, and God was a hard person that did not love you if you did not follow his rules.

Learning about Men, Sex and Speaking up about Abuse…

Growing up Dad would scare me away from boys telling me they only wanted to get in my pants and that I had to be very careful how I behaved around them as I could lead them on and that it was very unfair to a man for a woman to do this. At the age of twelve I was playing with a friend at one of my Dad’s work friends’ parties. I remember running around the house to the other side to hide and a man grabbed me, sat me on his knee and said “fair’s fair”. I remember being very scared and feeling violated. I jumped with all my force onto his foot and got free and ran as fast as I could and got away. I felt as though I had been abused, and even though no physical violation had taken place, I was deeply affected. I told no-one.

One holiday my stepbrother went to tackle me and I freaked right out and it all came out. I had not understood what had happened to me and when my mum asked if he had done stuff to me I did not understand what it all meant, some I answered yes to thinking I knew what it meant and other questions I said no to.

The first reaction was my father and stepfather said they would pay a man to break his knee caps. I used to have nightmares of this man coming to my bedroom window hobbling on his kneecaps. The man that had sat me on his lap then came to my dad’s house to have coffee with him and tell him he had done nothing to me. I got so angry when Dad told me I smashed every coffee cup in the house. Dad asked me if I had lied to him and that I was wrecking this man’s life as he was going to get fired and word would be put out so he would not be able to find a job anywhere. Dad believed the man over me until he found out the man had been to jail twice for raping young girls.

From this I learnt that: speaking up about abuse wrecks the abuser’s life and this is a very selfish thing to do, that it is only considered abuse when it is really bad, that a man’s voice means 100 times more than mine, and that I was responsible for wrecking a man’s life by speaking up. I also learnt that: men are bad, that they only want me for one thing, sex, and that I am worth nothing to men except to sexually relieve them.

Learning First Hand about Sexual, Physical and Mental Abuse…

Needless to say I was still a virgin at 17 years old when I met the father of my two children. This relationship was sexually, physically and mentally very abusive. The police would take me to hospital when they were called and I would be wheeled in unable to walk as I had been tied up for days to a bed and abused.

I remember going to a doctor for a pap smear and her asking me if I had been raped as I showed the physical trauma of rape. I told her no as I didn’t think it was rape. In later years when I reflected back I remembered how when my husband would rape me I would go to a field of flowers in my mind and play, I would leave my body to the point I felt nothing, no pain, no sadness. My husband would frequently tell me how inadequate my body was and that I was a pathetic excuse of a woman.

From this I learnt: if I pretend things weren’t happening then they weren’t happening. I learnt that I was not worthy of being called a woman, that I was worse than trash, that all my beliefs about men were true. I learnt that sex was a painful and horrible thing that women just had to accept, and that life sucked as an adult, you just grit your teeth and get through.

I remember my husband would enjoy himself more when he was raping me knowing he was hurting me, so I learnt to pretend the opposite and became very good at making things end quickly.

From this I learnt: men enjoy hurting women and this is what sexually arouses them.

I remember walking down the street looking only at the pavement because, if my eyes met with anyone else’s, my partner would later take it out on me telling me I was trying to hook up with them; this would happen whether it was a man, woman or child.

From this I learnt: not to connect with anyone in any way because I felt like I was sexually abusing them by looking at them.

Learning about Abuse and the Law…

I remember one weekend the police wanted to get me a restraining order so they called in the judge and the judge looked at me and even though I was black and blue and messed up he would not grant a restraining order as he did not believe in domestic violence.

From this I learnt: what was happening to me was of no real importance and no-one cared.

This was confirmed when I had managed to escape from my husband after my daughter was born and he decided to take me to court for full custody. This brought about a mediation where it was decided that I had to drive my daughter from our home on the Sunshine Coast to Brisbane, as I had the car, job and means to do so, whereas he did not. And because he did not have the money to pay for a supervised visitation place I was to take our daughter to his house where his mother would act as the supervisor. I did not get away again until I was pregnant with my son.

This taught me: the law could not help, but it could hurt me.

I remember a police officer once asking me if my husband had access to a gun when I was seeking an AVO; when I answered he could probably get one, the police officer called me a stupid little girl and asked me how would a piece of paper stop a bullet and laughed at me as I walked out of the police station. This reaffirmed there was no point in trying to get away or get support as my husband would catch up to me in the long run.

I stayed in this relationship for years and allowed much physical, mental and sexual abuse, for three main reasons:

  1. I felt I had chosen this man and now it was my responsibility to deal with the consequences, I thought “I hade made my bed now I have to sleep in it.”
  2. I felt I had wrecked the man’s life who had sat me on his knees when I was twelve and now I had to pay the consequences I believed were owed to me.
  3. And lastly that I was more likely to end up dead or my children dead if I left him.

Living from a False Foundation to Creating a New Foundation…

So as you can see, over the years I had formed quite a lot of ideas about life and people and what it is I needed to do to survive. These ideas had created the foundation on which I lived my life so that I could protect myself.

Only recently did I realise that:

  1. I had this foundation, and
  2. It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.

The most amazing and simple but powerful thing I learnt was that I had the choice whether to keep living from this false foundation I had made from past experiences/hurts, pain and protection or I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.

From this I learnt that: I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity.

Learning to support the Amazingness that is me…

I wrote this blog so others could get to know of this amazing gift we can give ourselves by looking back to see if we also come from a foundation of ideas and beliefs to protect ourselves. And if so, to consider whether we created this foundation from past experiences and hurts, and if we do have such a foundation, to ask how they have been created and whether or not they are actually supporting us.

I found some I had purposely made up because I knew they would help me, such as helping others because then everyone liked me and saw me as a good person to have in their lives. Others were created via events I had been through and some were created by what others had told me such as the one my dad had told me that all men wanted was to get in my pants.

Once I reflected back over the ways my old foundations were formed I could then look at what they actually were and the effect they had on me. I have realised they were not there to support and protect me and they were in fact not even true and only caused me even more harm. All my old foundation did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.

I actually learnt all about foundations in a four-hour presentation delivered by Serge Benhayon. The deep gratitude and appreciation I have for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Hierarchy is not something that I can put in words rather it is something I carry in my body and share with all around me.

I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman. These new foundations are the ones I am building upon daily so that I keep growing and expanding the amazingness that is me.

by Anonymous

Related Reading:
Understanding Life, My Choices and Appreciating Me

601 thoughts on “From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love

  1. How powerful if you can make a 360 degree turn around from living from your hurts to living from your grace and love. You are a true inspirations for all of us, for you have taken responsibility for your life and the love that you and all can choose the same. Very very powerful.

  2. Dear Anonymous the most important message of your blog for me is that you now feel how “cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of yourself and humanity.” We can indeed put our hurts behind us if we choose to and rejoin the human family in full to live life the way it is meant to be lived, in joy and love.

  3. Oh my goodness. What a life story. How does one come back from something as traumatic as this story. And yet there’s worse still out there no doubt. You were blessed to find Serge Benhayon through and through. My most deeply felt section was…”I had this foundation, and It was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.The most amazing and simple but powerful thing I learnt was that I had the choice whether to keep living from this false foundation I had made from past experiences/hurts, pain and protection or I could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” Although I did have a simple up-bringing without any trauma I have still built my life on a false foundation that wasn’t truly me. This I find incredible. I am so grateful that you shared your story it has deeply moved and inspired me to do what I need to do to change my foundations to a truer expression of me.

  4. I can thoroughly relate to these..”I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.” This is great food for pondering. Thank you.

  5. It is so great to read and see how even through such extreme trauma and difficulties there is a part of us that is greater than all of what happens.. and the key to knowing this is the building of a strong foundation for ourselves that can withstand whatever life brings. It might seem a simple approach, but I am learning just how powerful it is.

    1. I find breaking things down to their original simplicity is extremely power-full. Sometimes due to a desire to be more than what I perceive I am I try to go into complexity to show how smart and evolved I am, yet this shows the complete opposite. I have noticed I only desire to be more than what I feel I am when I have disconnected to the true beauty I am, after all there is nothing more beautiful than the inner beauty we are.

    2. Annie I agree, it’s so heart-warming to read that even in the most traumatic of situations there is a part of us that is grander, stronger and untouched. It just goes to show that there is no situation that is ever unrecoverable from.

      1. that’s right Meg, many feel they are broken beyond repair, but if they can be supported to connect to that part within that is whole, and that can never be touched by the trauma and violence in the world, then they will know themselves to be stronger, and grander than anything that has happened to them. And from that place, the healing can begin.

  6. Dear Anonymous I hope that you are truly appreciating the strong and beautiful woman that you are and what you are reflecting to others is so powerful. To have lived the way you have for so many years and to now have strong foundations for living your life in a different and more loving way is extra-ordinary. Thank you for such an honest sharing.

  7. What a powerhouse of a woman you are Anonymous to transform your false foundation into a true foundation is massive. You are not held back by any of your hurts any more. To feel your commitment to show humanity we all have a choice and how we can build a supportive foundation by being honest and feel the strength and wisdom we have, is awesome and truly inspirational.

    1. Yes EXACTLY Annelies, as we are never victims. We are always in truth making choices. This blog reveals that we are responsible for every choice we make and for the foundation we choose in life. The power you have inside , that made it all turn around from an extremely abusive life to a life of love, shows us how powerfull our choices are once we take true commitment and responsibility for ourselves and lives(also if our life has been one of full abuse). We are able to change it, we hold the key to our future , so we can change everything around. Letting go of hurts is the best we can choose, so at least we do not continue to live with them and choose to be free now. Best.

  8. Thank you for this honest sharing Anonymous. It has illustrated that when we are young how the actions of others can impact so severely on us that we develop beliefs that we are no good, not worth anything, have no voice etc, and these beliefs then become our guidelines as we grow, but instead of supporting as to evolve they hold us back, trapped into a life of mere existence. But as you discovered, these beliefs are false signposts that once recognised and acknowledged can be dismantled, making way for the true light of life to shine. And it certainly sounds like those lights are shining brightly for you now thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and most importantly you.

  9. Anonymous I am so thankful that you are expressing your experiences with the world. Your story gives everyone inspiration to observe their foundations and what they are based on. To create new foundations based on love and truth is where we all need to come from. Thank you.

  10. Wow, reading this blog has made me stop. The degree of abuse is very disgraceful, absolute horrific, I was shocked reading this. So reading how Anonymous has reflected on her abusing past end no longer let it effect her is incredible full of strength. And to see what incredible power she holds as she is now claiming herself back and all of her grandness – that to me is incredible, a miracle. A true example of how to change your life from abuse to self love. I mean if she can, we can all. I wish everyone knew about Serge Benhayon and know how to claim themselves back, even in situations like these.
    This blog has woken me up, we all need to speak out we all need to go to court and sue people who abuse, we need to speak our truth – the whole truth and not hold back . As this holding back (even the slightest form) is adding to the enormous abuse that is allready going on or had taken place. I dont want to be part of that – never. Therefore once we read such stories, hear them from people around us or even close, we need to take action and let everyone know that this abuse is not accepted and should never be tolerated, only stopped and immediately adressed by government, our society, police, court, law etc.etc. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE PART OF STOPPING ABUSE IN ANY WAY. This is OUR TIME, it is NOW.

  11. Thank you anonymous for sharing your journey, you have displayed an enourmous amount of strength and resolve to deal with and overcome so many traumatic events in your life. Its quite miraculous the power of love.

  12. The light that is held within is very powerful and what your blog has delivered to me is that this light can not be put out, it is powerful and always deeply loving and holding of who we truly are – Thank you Anonymous for the gift you have brought to us all in sharing the power of your connection to ‘you’.

    1. Yes nothing can touch or put out the inner light, how powerful it is, how powerful we are when connected to this inner light and finally how beautiful we all have this inner light and power.

    2. Yes the light we are inside can never be put out or disappear and when we make the choice to connect back to the amazingness that we are it gives us the power to overcome whatever there was in our lives, such as the abuse Anonymous shared with us. Truly amazing and extremely powerful.

      1. How amazing is it that our inner light can not even be slightly dampened by things that occur in our lives. While reading your comment I realised it is always there waiting for us to reconnect until we get to a place where we have moments of this connection and then days, months, years and finally lifetimes. What a beautiful realisation.

  13. Anonymous you have deepened my understanding about foundations through your candid analysis of the false foundations you created as a protection from the extreme abuse you suffered in your life. A truly inspiring story, and very on topic with current political and media discussion on domestic violence.

  14. Learning to trust again after such experiences like these comes from a dedication and commitment to trust ourselves first, and to take this trust within ourselves to everyone we meet.

  15. We have such a habit as human beings of blaming the outside world for how we see ourself – and sure, we must always observe how we have allowed ourselves to be affected by a society that does not meet us for how we are – but at the end of the day we need to learn to be responsible for our own love.

    1. Always ‘blaming the outside world for how we see ourselves’ and for how our life has unfolded gets us so preoccupied with our hurts that we fail to see our true essence of love and potential that lies within. What a horrid game we have created for ourselves.

  16. This is a great example of how you can go from having a foundation built on hurt to one built on love, a new foundation can be laid any time and it is never too late.

  17. It seems amazing that after all the abuse you suffered that you are still able to find the gorgeous light within you and begin from a true foundation rather than from the sadness and hurts of your life. That you can do this just proves that we can turn things around and find the love that we are at any stage and from any situation. The essence of love is always there to bring out the beautiful, cherishable, loveable woman you are.

  18. Thank you so much Anonymous for writing this incredible blog. It is a true service you have offered, as it selflessly expresses how capable we are of true greatness. In highlighting all you have of what you learnt through each experience of your life, I could feel the depths to which you have examined and uncovered such hurts to reveal the truth that lay within, thank you again.

  19. so many people have ended up feeling very disempowered in life in general, and to read the story again about someone who has let go of such old and embedded paradigms is a great inspiration for many people.

  20. This is a truly inspiring sharing Anonymous – you’ve proven undoubtedly that we create our reality based on the quality of our choices.

  21. Every moment of our life is here as a learning, teaching and showing us more about our relationship to love. Yet you illustrate perfectly Anonymous when we let the hurts get in the way, the learning gets twisted into lassos that lacerate our very being.

  22. Choosing to let go of our hurts and making self-loving choices is the key to connecting back to the love within ourselves and living from this quality of being as our true foundation.

  23. I have come to realize a lot of what you have about my past… That the abuse from my childhood caused me to put myself in more abusive relationships… Once I realized this pattern, I became so afraid of everyone around me, especially romantic interests. It still seems as though any time I do allow somebody in, I end up being wrong about them and they end up being abusive or dangerous… This makes me go right back into my shell because I’m terrified… I want so badly just to be loved and accepted and not put up with abuse, but it feels like I can’t get away from it… I don’t want to be the victim anymore, but at the same time, I’m afraid I’ll find myself in more dangerous relationships if I start letting people back in. I don’t know how to stop being afraid!

  24. I cannot but feel Anonymous how all your life’s experiences have been exacerbated by the flippant and irresponsible comments, actions and behaviours of others and how pivotal they were to feeding your daily struggle that only further confirmed your lack of self worth. This then opens the Pandoras box of what pain, sadness and hurts those people hold within them from their own lives to behave in such a way that hurts you. Further, when you actually stop and consider hurt like this you cannot but help realise that our modern day society is in quite the mess and definitely trapped in this vicious circle – I am hurt or feeling vulnerable and anticipating that I may be hurt so I hurt you… round and round it goes and the patterns of these behaviours persists unmercifully. But, most of all your blog has clearly illustrated to me how pivotal we all are in making or breaking others lives by how we interact and connect with them. This has also made me realise that the responsibility we all have to care for and rebuild each other is huge and its time we all stepped up and realised this fact.

  25. What you have shared with us in this blog Anonymous is the story of a very courageous, honest and loving woman. I truly appreciate your transformation and self-loving choices you have made. What you have achieved for yourself, and thus for others, is so inspirational.

    1. Agreed Shirl. Where ‘Anonymous’ has come to in her life is indeed remarkable. This story is showing me clearly that we are the ones who, for various reasons, create our own walls of protection. However what we can overlook is that we have an even greater power and this is that via building self love we have the capacity to bring those walls down and redefine ourselves. This process is not necessarily easy in reality but just even recognising that love is much stronger than fear and all the ideals and beliefs we have built up, is a great starting point.

  26. To have come to a place where you realised that the foundations you had built as a child were for protection from all that was happening to, and around you, is so very inspiring. It would have been easy to have stayed living (existing) from that unsupportive foundation, but instead you have embraced a new way of living, and, with your commitment to heal the many hurts of the past, no longer do they have free rein to rule your life.

  27. A jaw-dropping account of the construction of a foundation that shaped the rest of your life. There’s such clarity in how your beliefs were formed and solidified and how your old foundation kept you ‘in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.’ This is a profound sharing and a real gift to others to consider reviewing what false and damaging beliefs we may each be harbouring that have been responsible for the way our experience of life has become.

  28. I have just read this extremely powerful and eye-opening blog again and am deeply appreciating how, by you sharing all of your experiences, we now have the opportunity to understand what abuse is and to see just how many of the baseline foundations for it to occur are laid during one’s childhood years.
    Generally there’s a tendency to brush off small incidents – to see them simply as a one off, however, your blog shows just how damaging each single one has been in its own right and then the way they all added up to create just how abusive your life as an adult eventually became.

  29. Something wonderful about having foundations in life is that we can place in to them whatever we want. As this blog shows, we can make abuse a fundamental part of our lives, and we can also make self-love an even greater fundamental part of our lives. The choice is there to be made because we have the free-will to choose and to make life be what it will be for ourselves. Personally, having tried and lived with both aspects, I can fundamentally say that self-love rocks.

  30. It’s an absolute testament to yourself that you’ve been able to claim back in full the extraordinary and loving woman that you are and always have been with the support of Universal Medicine and its’ practitioners.

  31. what an incredibly powerful story – and an true insight into the world of domestic violence. We should not pretend that it does not occur, nor close ourselves off to the depth of corruption that exists deep within society. Thank you.

  32. Incredible journey of your life. I can not even imagine what you have had to endure. Inspiring more so, how you have returned to your truth after such a life time of abuse and loveless upbringing. It is confirming that our light and love is stronger than the illusion of disregard.

  33. Thank you for delineating all the events that led up to your abusive marriage and the subsequent events that kept you there which paint such a powerful picture of the reality of domestic abuse. That you have been able to turn around the false foundation that you had built to try and protect yourself and are now appreciating the awesome woman that you are is testament to the healing that is available to us all if only we are willing to be open to it.

  34. This blog shows so beautifully that we do not need to be victims, irrespective of whatever horror we may have experienced. Within us is a beauty and power that is far greater than anything the world can throw at us and we all can access this. It is just one choice away and that choice is to re-connect to our divinity.

  35. Thank you so much for writing this blog. It offered me a moment to stop and see that, no matter what happens to us in our lives, we have the opportunity to build our own foundation. There is much more awareness about domestic violence now and many of the things you shared have been addressed by the system, but to be honest, it is painful to realise what was once normal.

  36. Anonymous this is a very deep and honest sharing that will help so many to understand that no matter what happens in our lives we have a the ability to change the outcome through looking within and recognizing the beauty and love that we are. No one can take away that love!

  37. Wow what a transformation Anonymous and you share your story with such honesty that is deeply healing to read. Universal Medicine and all it presents is incredibly supportive and truly healing for anyone who has experienced any level of trauma or abuse in their lives, learning to build a new foundation that is loving and true for you has been key to healing your hurts and moving forward – what an inspiration and support you are to anyone who has had similar experiences.

  38. This is such a sad but powerful sharing and i appreciate the honesty shown here. You have shown that when we build our foundation on love that true healing is possible. I hope you appreciate how truly amazing you are.

  39. I have so much appreciation and admiration for you Anonymous. Your story, whilst sad and painful, is a wonderful example of transformation, healing, love and responsibility. You are an amazing inspiration and indeed beautiful;
    “I am a beautiful strong sassy caring woman, and that I am extremely sensitive and aware of all that is going on around me and within me. I also learnt that I am cherishable, sacred, solid, committed to love of myself and humanity”.

  40. When bad stuff happens in life, it is easy to slip into a victim mentality, but what if we were to consider our responsibility in it? Wouldn’t we possibly discover that we in some way had contributed to our situation? Are we not the creators of our lives rather than the receivers of them?

  41. Unbelievable story Anonymous.. Despite all the trauma (emotional and physical) and false foundations that were set up, you show that it is very possible to re-turn back to love, back to being the tender, beautiful, sensitive, strong and Sacred woman that you are today and have always been. Thank you for sharing your incredible story, You are very inspiring.

  42. Its an incredible story of repeated abuse, but the true marvel is that the real you is always there no matter what has happened, and that can be connected to. When that happens love is available, and the body has an incredible ability to heal its traumas. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  43. I am still taking in the enormity of your life story, not only did you live through all these horrific experiences that would leave most people in a heap but you were brave enough to write in a public arena, brave enough to recognise that you are more than your trauma, brave enough to know that through writing a deeper unexplainable healing occurs, for the writer and the reader, thank you from the deepest part in my heart.

  44. A powerful story of losing trust in others and in yourself and the frightening consequences of domestic violence. The true foundation of love was there for you to connect to and heal the pain of past abuse.

  45. Such a powerful story you have blessed us with here Anonymous, thank you it is deeply appreciated. I love the way you took responsibility and made choices that transformed your life. I also am inspired by your openness to learn lessons from life’s brutal knocks.

  46. A harrowing a powerful sharing made all the more amazing by having just read your subsequent blog in which you share with us how your life has been transformed through your choices as a result of inspiration from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Stunning.

  47. We often think the foundations we have in our life are the only way they can be, if we had a troubled childhood, we think that is what we have to live from. As you so eloquently describe, we can when we choose rebuild our foundations so they are loving, and supportive. We have the choice.

  48. What a huge transformation Anonymous, a self transformation, one full of developing a foundation that is based love and not hurts. If we have a foundation based on love, learning to let go of our hurts being super important and learning to embrace all of who we are.

  49. You made a point Anonymous that supports the fact that the energy we agree to manifests into our reality. ” All my old foundations did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences toward me.” Once you were presented another way you changed your experience by changing the energy and choosing a different way. That’s a huge lesson for all to know we have the power within to make changes and establish new foundations.

  50. A huge and powerful turn around in your life Anonymous. Discovering that you ” could create a new foundation of things I already knew to be true within me but that I had not lived by on a daily basis.” – such a massive shift. Changing the energy we draw from and align to can change everything in our lives. Thankyou for sharing your story.

  51. What a massive turnaround in your awareness, and what an incredibly honest sharing that exposes how we are the ones that create our own prison. Becoming aware and building on our own truth allows us to see what lies we have allowed to be our truth. This is such a valuable learning you have shared.

  52. Thank you anonymous for writing your story here and showing how it is possible to understand what false foundations we may have built our lives on to protect ourselves, and to start to let these go. Giving ourselves permission and choosing to be aware of the choices we have made and why we have made them, allows us to start to let go of these false foundations and understand who we truly are, underneath all the layers of protection.

  53. Thank you Anonymous for the gift you are giving to every person that reads this blog – This precious, fragile, tender and loving centre you write of is held within each of us and no matter the trauma and pain that passes through our lives, this centre is who we truly are, all we have to do is claim it and it will be the foundation from which we can move for the rest of our lives – Thank you.

  54. I really appreciated the way you explored the beliefs you took on from childhood onwards, this has really supported me to look at these myself. One of the things that really stuck out to me is how we do feel a truth inside, otherwise the abuse would have nothing to make it feel like abuse, there is a an inextinguishable something inside that these things rub up against, that provides a marker for what is true and what is not. No matter what life dishes out we still have the chance to hold onto this, to keep returning to it, to know there is more. Despite the odds stacked against you, you were able to come back to this, to the true you inside – amazing.

  55. Thank you for your open sharing without the usual blame of what has happend to you. What an amazing turn around. That you are capable to see how you have been living from false foundations shows the enormous power of true love that lives inside us all and the moment we choose to make this our foundation miracles happen every day.

  56. Incredible proof that our light can never be put out… it does not matter what has come before for at any moment you can choose to create a true foundation that supports you to come back to and be all you are… and then live from that.

  57. Thank you Anonymous for sharing your story and your wisdom, I really appreciate your courage and your commitment to build a new foundation;
    “I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman”.

  58. Wow what a story Anonymous, thank you for sharing this with us, even though it’s an absolute story of abuse. But to feel that you have kept strong and you knew that there had to be something more (unaware at times) once you started to feel that there was a truth. A truth you now have chosen to heal your way, and see that those hurts are not actually you, but a set of experiences, you now can heal or have healed. Beautiful, truly beautiful. A new marker in you for life!

  59. It is truly healing to read how you can come out of a life that you lived feeling unblemished and full of commitment to living a life that supports you in every way. It is very healing to read it is all about a choice to live from a false of true foundation and that when I make the choice to live from this true foundation the past can be let go of. Thank you.

  60. Only yesterday I was talking to a woman about whether or not it was possible to live a life without the scars from the past impacting on the present. This is a beautiful sharing of how a new foundation can be built on what is true in us, however battle scarred we may be, that it can be done. Thank you.

  61. For many, Anonymous, your story will represent the worst that can happen in life. What a powerful account you have therefore provided the world. It demonstrates that with true support and understanding we can heal from even the most nightmarish of situations. This is not about promulgating ‘hope’ but the power of examining how we have arrived where we have arrived with a great deal of honesty. Thank you deeply for this beautiful offering.

  62. Such a powerful testimony of turning your life around. It only takes a choice back to love, the honesty and acceptance of our life and our choices in absoluteness is a choice to begin to live what is our true power.

  63. What we pick up as we grow up concerning our worth or not can be significant for how we respond to relationships in adulthood. I can still feel that I seek acknowledgement, or to be really seen by others and want that confirmation from the outside, rather than know me for myself without need from another. With this choice, the layers unfold and I let go, of the hurts that I have accumulated and become able to appreciate what is already there,lived and known is more than enough.

  64. A very powerful blog that offers many women that are caught in the cycle of abuse that you were in Anonymous. When we have little or no self worth, when our life reflects everything back to us that we are not worth caring about, then it becomes the foundation from which we build our lives, and abuse of any kind can be so much more easily be accepted. What you show is that through our experiences in life we create the life we choose, and it is only through making different choices that we can get out of the rut that we have created for ourselves.

  65. An incredibly powerful story Anonymous, thank you for sharing this insight into domestic violence so openly and honestly. Turning around the cycle of abuse is not at all easy, but taking responsibility for what we create in our lives is clearly a very significant part of the process.

  66. “I had this foundation, and it was not actually a foundation that was true for me, rather it was a foundation I had created from my hurts.”
    From your blog it is clear that these two points were crucial turning points in your life. Also that depending on the quality of your foundation the rest has the potential to either build you or debilitate you.

  67. Your past experiences read like the worst horror story and yet there is no drama or emotion in what you share which is nothing short of extraordinary. The lessons you have learned apply to us all and if you can put these lessons to work there is no reason why anyone else can not. You show love and healing all spring from a simple choice. Absolutely amazing.

  68. This is an awesome blog for you have told us how you have been able to turn your life around by looking at your past foundation and how it was made and how everything built on that foundation could not truly support you because it was basically false. This is something we can all do for ourselves . We can all create a new foundation, a true foundation, and this is where Universal Medicine presentations and having sessions with it’s practitioners can be of huge assistance.

  69. An incredible insightful read that shows so clearly how we form foundations and beliefs from our experiences and how little we can challenge these foundations and in many cases, live a life much less than who we truly are. Your story is nothing short of one the most amazing miracles. To come from such abuse to being able to live your life from the true foundation of being the strong, confident, loving, exquisite woman you are, is a real testament to you, and the power of The Way of the Livingness, as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  70. This is GOLD, you are living proof we don’t have to be defined by what has happened to us, no matter how traumatic and deeply wounded we are. I am so glad to read about your healing and how awesomely you have done to have made the steps to face life and reimprint it. A true hero. Thank you for writing this.

  71. This is an extreme article and hard to believe this is one persons life. From how it was to how it is is more than a dramatic turn around and shows the strength of what choices you can make regardless of what the past has bought to you and how things have been. I say this with respect to this article as what I have read here was obviously deeply traumatising to more then just one. It more reads like a movie then someones life and opens me up further to appreciate everything that sits around me. Not in a comparison to another but more to know that life is always much bigger then our mind holds and there is always something to appreciate. Not that you disregard what has happened, you feel it all but you also bring in something to appreciate. For me no matter what is occurring appreciation brings in a part for me to stand on and see, it’s like it holds long after. In fact appreciation I have made time for as a part of my everyday, it’s not a looking at the world through rose coloured glasses but a practical approach to my day that actually works with me and for me.

  72. Wow this is an incredible sharing of a truly horrendous abusive life and yet there is not a millimetre of victim in any of the words, you can feel you have taken full responsibility even in the face of overwhelming violence. I am deeply inspired to set myself free of the ideas and pictures that surely keep me from being the love that I am as I have no where near the level of pain and hurt you have experienced yet I still imprison myself. Very inspiring thank you very much for sharing.

  73. A deeply appreciated sharing – thank you. It offers and reveals so much and is very supportive to read what is possible and that familiar and repeated patterns and beliefs don’t have to lock us in to accept any behaviour that isn’t loving in integrity and intention.

  74. As we walk around in life we really have no idea of the trauma and distress that the people we walk next to in the street, or work alongside have experienced, or are experiencing. If we knew would we have more understanding for why they behave as they do. If we had true understanding would we see we all have an opportunity to change the many levels of abuse including self-abuse we all live with.

  75. This is an incredible story, one I can not even begin to fathom experiencing myself. Your choice to finally put an end to all that was destroying you is an absolute miracle. You are the absolute proof that there is such thing as choice and that there is enormous power in re-connecting with oneself.

  76. The biggest lesson I have learnt is that no-one is able to abuse us. It is we who make the choice to allow energies that abuse us into our bodies, therefore there is never any one to blame.

  77. What an amazing testimony to the fact that no matter where we’ve been, we can come back to us and be the amazingness we are. Your realisation that your foundation was had created from your hurts is huge and one that applied to so many of us. Do we still live based on our hurts and protections or do we live from the love we naturally are?

  78. Wow – this is making me question a lot of my perceptions of life.. at the moment I am looking for a new job, and the one thing that seems to be in the way is that I feel like I don’t deserve a well paid job, that money is not accessible and that I should always be struggling for money. I grew up in a family that was quite poor, and the struggle for money has always been there. But now that I am living on my own, I know I can change that.

  79. It feels like a really important part of the healing process to be able to conduct a stocktake of our lives and the critical incidents in it, allowing ourselves to acknowledge and feel what’s there to be felt in order to let it go.

  80. It’s quite astounding how we can accept the unacceptable – and equally, how we can turn it around.

  81. The more honest we get, the more we allow ourselves to see the parts of our lives that aren’t true, the beliefs and pictures we’ve been holding onto about how life is and how we need to be in it to survive. Letting go of these layers, one by one, is a steady process of nominating the what is not true, by connecting to that inner part of us that just knows what is true and what is not, and also through the reflections of others who we can feel are already living what is true for them.

  82. The wonderful thing about setting new foundations is that we get to set standards that we know we will never go below. This is so empowering.

  83. This is so true Elizabeth, when choosing our new foundation we set standards that we will never drop below, and how great to have understanding and renounce your old foundation anonymous, ‘All my old foundation did was keep me in fear of the world, people and myself and actually drew these horrible experiences towards myself.’

  84. Once we recognise all that is happening in our lives, we can make new choices, and say no to abuse, and start building a loving relationship with ourself, a new foundation, ‘I now know I have the absolute power and ability to create a new foundation that supports me to be a fully confident loving woman.’

  85. Powerful article that shows what is possible when we stand for truth and not allow ‘our’ beliefs and hurts (as seemingly justifiable as they appear) to create our lives. I can’t imagine not feeling devastated by the abuse you share here and yet you show it is possible to rebuild a true foundation, one based on love. Inspiring and thank you for sharing.

  86. Thank you Anonymous for sharing your deeply inspiring story so openly and so honestly. What stood out for me is how we can turn our lives around at any stage or any age through seeing all our life’s experiences as stepping stones on our evolutionary path back to the love we are and all come from.

  87. Interesting to consider that many people, including me, are looking for ways of support to confirm that what we feel is not right while in fact we know it is not right and from there have the tendency to adjust our feelings and protect and bury our hurts instead.

  88. Thank you Anonymous, looking back we say that we learnt – but did we really? It seems more to me that we suffered and reacted to life events, drawing conclusion to protect us from getting hurt again. But our sums are all wrong, because there is a missing part of life – energy. It seems to me that it’s only when we start reading this and why things occur that we actually learn something of worth.

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