Communication: What is Actually Coming Out of My Mouth and How Do I Truly Sound

You’ll often find me as the one preferring to sit conversing in the corner, or on the side, not on stage enjoying attention or limelight. Not too comfortable being seen by large audiences, and anxious even at the thought of public speaking, let alone doing it. And as for photos – not too keen on those either! Communicating and conversation is thorough enjoyed, though recently my world of communication has been sparked alight after hearing an audio with me speaking on it…

Just like having your photo taken and viewing yourself, hearing one’s own recorded voice is equally revealing: what was I saying, communicating, sounding like and hearing; and how was the quality of my speech, i.e. what was actually coming out of my mouth?

It was easy to hear restriction in my voice, the over extending or pronouncing of certain words; intonation to make a point, convince, or sell [most probably from years of being in the sales profession]; the subtle hook of stimulated excitement causing speediness that creates a distance between me and those I am conversing with. Most pertinently and clearly heard was an unresolved hurt and reaction from a work situation that had been occurring at the time of the recording. Wow! … there was no getting away from hearing these unspoken elements, feeling the quality they delivered…

In my voice I was ‘hearing’ how I lived and the quality in which I was living. What a giveaway!

No wonder I didn’t much enjoy hearing the audio and felt it didn’t sound like me – “Is that what I sound like?” How could it when I knew I wasn’t living with the spaciousness of a full-me but instead a reduced, speeded up version affected by what had been going on at work with the need to ‘perform’, to be worth listening to, to prove a point, instead of just being the all-natural-unaffected-me.

Maybe it wasn’t my actual voice I wasn’t too keen on, but more the undertone of reaction, i.e. emotion and ‘hearing’ how the way I was living was being reflected in my voice.

What a great opportunity this audio provided in which to accept and appreciate more fully how the way my own life – or anyone else’s – is being lived is but an expression that is then fully heard and received by others.

And that if our voices do contain all our lived-choices then aren’t these choices super-powerful ‘tools’ in regards to clear or effective communication and expression?

Constantly we’re making everyday choices either to live the free, real-us, natural and loving, or as the contrived and engineered versions of us struggling to fit the perception, image or ideal handed down and invested in from things such as our background, upbringing, accent, education, job, title, position and so on – all of which create false senses of worth and therefore offer false or incomplete communications that are far from having healing effects.

With this, it was strikingly evident to me that communication is so much more than being about how we say something or what we say. That the ‘how’ has nothing to do with quietness, loudness, politeness, the great choice of words, but instead that its finesse, or lack of, is constituted by the actual way we choose to live life i.e. with love or not, with recipients receiving from our words and communication effects that are either healing i.e. loving, or the opposite.

What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living.  And how we truly sound is from this livingness.

To realise and act on this important fact with conscious attention is therefore a crucial step towards taking greater responsibility in delivering effective communication that has love at its core and as its impetus. Knowing that behind our voice through words spoken or written can be either true power, or instead an imposing force of energy, based on how we live.

Checking that when we speak are we –

  1. Simply presenting the love and truth we live smoothly without pull or engaging in friction of reaction? Or …
  2. Carrying within our speech vested interests, emotion, control, convincing effort, to sound good or intelligent, to get something back, win others round for their approval or acceptance of us?

Listening to the audio it became evident that when we don’t deal with our hurts, upsets, afflictions or reactions at the time, we just end up communicating ‘all-this’ to whoever we speak with, leaving communication and our voice not clear or free. Then people receive from us either –

  1. The full, spacious and deep resonate sound of an equalising authority-lived from living love that reverberates around the chest walls and heart area to heal, or
  2. The emptiness or throaty, tin-sound reduction effect from living an unequal half or measured life bound by constraint, restraint, speediness, arrogance or loud confidence.

When we realize the effect and responsibility we each have living and communicating with lived-love, and as we deepen our livingness towards this, the healing benefits this offers another is tremendous. And so with this, absolutely, why not then take the time to slow down, invite people to be in-time with us, come out from the background, be seen, heard, listened to, and no longer deny people the presence and glory of us there to be captured by photograph or audio and enjoyed by all. Note to self, ahem.

Completely and eternally inspired by the Ancient Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Zofia, Asia

Further reading:
Everyone Is Born With A Beautiful Voice – Singing And Speaking

776 thoughts on “Communication: What is Actually Coming Out of My Mouth and How Do I Truly Sound

  1. Zofia I totally understand what you are sharing here in that, our voice is much more powerful than what is actually being expressed through our mouths. I have noted this when I’ve had on-line counselling sessions and at times recorded it and played it back. My voice has changed. I can actually tell it’s been submissive, been in victim mode, angry, nice, flat etc. But at the same time, there has been moments when I’ve projected it with such authority and absoluteness, it is beautiful to hear and feel.

    I would also add that as our awareness increases with how we express, our hearing changes accordingly too. We then pick up how another is just by what we hear and respond from a different angle, instead of adding to their issues.

    There is more to our senses than the physical aspect. It seems that our senses have their responsibilities but they also feel more than what they see, hear, taste, smell and touch. Worth pondering over.

  2. Zofia, I love how you have highlighted how the full embodied and authoritative voice is the one that resounds the universe, whilst the un claimed voice is hollow. This is my experience too and I find that now even greater awareness is afforded to me when I speak or express in any way.

    1. I recall years ago waiting at the train station and a random woman came to talk to me. What I observed was as she spoke about the state of this world, I found myself being drained more and more and in the end I had to move well away from her, as the depletion was very notable. It was a two way thing, me not being in my absoluteness and for this woman, her neediness of needing to be heard. Wow, there is more to life than living and breathing!…

  3. LIFE – four letters that if claimed and lived from the Soul allow expression to be in its fullness: “With this, it was strikingly evident to me that communication is so much more than being about how we say something or what we say.” – it has all to do with how much we have claimed life lived from the Soul.

  4. “And that if our voices do contain all our lived-choices then aren’t these choices super-powerful ‘tools’ in regards to clear or effective communication and expression?” – How we live and the choices we make are being communicated to everyone constantly. This is a huge responsibility if we really stop to think about it and as Zofia has shared, an amazing tool to use to reflect the responsible choices that we have made in life and continue to do so.

  5. Great points Zofia – and I too know that I react to seeing photos of me of recordings of my voice, or videos and I think it is strange to see myself as I have these pre-concieved ideas of how I ‘should’ look or sound or move etc. But what I like about the point you are making is that we can tell there is a part of us that is ‘restricted’ and it is this holding back that we sense as we know there is so much more to be expressed. What a blessing to see this and know it so that we can then let it all out to the best of our ability.

  6. Thank you Zofia, what a delightful read. I am working with an esoteric practitioner around presenting and the next step in our sessions is to look more at voice, so this is perfect timing to read today. I honestly hadn’t considered that everything I am living and aligned to is coming through my voice – makes perfect sense though. In a basic way I can hear changes in my voice and expression so I appreciated the detail you gave around what our voice could communicate. It’s another level of energetic responsibility for me to look at, thank you.

  7. I am about to be recorded so this is a timely reminder to express all of who I am, nothing more, nothing less.

  8. Just recently I had to interview someone and then use that interview for a class assignment and I wasn’t really looking forward to listening to how I sound when I speak. On one hand, it was easier to listen to than it would have been in the past but I noticed that I sounded like someone I’d made a judgement on a few months back. What I found interesting about this was the way this person spoke irritated me and I couldn’t stand her voice and yet here I was sounding very similar. Now I wonder if it was the reflection that I didn’t want to look at or another layer of lack of self-worth by not wanting to accept how I sound.

  9. The words that come out of our mouths are simply little packets of energy, packets that hold what we are wanting to communicate, but at the same time holding everything we are feeling and everything we have lived up to that moment in time. So, by using our awareness and not just our ears, we can get a truer sense of what is being communicated; always very revealing indeed.

  10. When we don’t like our picture or our voice there’s a reason why – how can we not love what is authentically us – unless somewhere along the way that authenticity has been compromised or reduced or changed.

    1. Beautifully said, Meg. Then when we don’t like something about us, it is no longer about fixing or improving it, it is about undoing that which is stopping us being who we are.

  11. I love listening to meetings where there are several people sharing…the tone and cadence everything changes depending on the energy we are in and where we are at….some comments can bring the group down and others lift the whole energy of the group….we can learn so much from these play-backs.

  12. I have had something similar happen to me about a video where I saw my reaction coming through it was so great because I could see how harming this was. I have also had the opposite happen where hearing an audio interview I was amazed at how lovely and warm I felt it was very confirming.

  13. Our voices give away so much about how we are living and the state we are in at that moment. I am having expression sessions with Carola Woods and it has become very clear when I am letting my body be like an instrument, resonating with divinity or when I restrict or control what comes out. The latter feels like I am polluting myself and my environment. Whereas the former leaves me feeling open and light and I can feel the healing ripple effect of the vibration of my words.

    1. Awesome experience Fiona – we get instantly boosted or instantly dropped depending on the quality that we allow through us.

  14. I have recently began facilitating flight attendants in my workplace for a new aircraft type, speaking all day has bought a different awareness around my voice and the quality I am speaking with, and the responsibility we bring whether we are presenting, conversing one on one, or speaking to large groups.

  15. Our voice carries a vibration that holds all that we have lived. The quality of sounds which is a vibration through our voice can be either healing or harming, so it makes sense that it can be pretty revealing when we hear the sound of our own voice.

  16. I often hear people say they do not like the sound of their voice. After reading your blog Zofia, it makes sense why this is so because our voice reflects how we choose to live and what energy we choose to align to.

  17. It is very brave to come out from the corner and allow yourself to be seen, especially when the hidden corners of life have been so comfortably sought. But I just know that this is the way forward for us all, for each person on this earth to stand up and out and remain seen for all the beauty and glory that we all are – the true beings that we are.

    1. So true Annelies, and we cannot hide energy, it is always there for everyone to read and when we are open to reading energy we cannot be fooled by any movements or expressions.

  18. The lack of self judgement within this blog is very refreshing to read. It is a loving honest open approach to understanding oneself that always offers a deepening. Self judgement is the bat that one takes to themselves that crushes any opportunity to awaken our deeper senses.

  19. I’ve experienced both being amazing at a recording of my voice and being horrified – yet same person, same voice, it’s a hundred percent down to what is going on for me at the time and my choices and my willingness to speak the truth or not before the recording.

  20. It is way too easy to leave our body when we are exposed to others. It is way too horrible to do so. Being out there without being fully present in the body gives us no anchor to our movements. Without an anchor we are hopeless.

  21. What we hear is more than just the words, but how we have been living is also being communicated – wow, nothing can hide really. No wonder so many of us choose to numb ourselves so that we can just stay at and deal with the surface level of our communication when our preference gravitates towards irresponsibility.

    1. And knowing that there is nothing we can hide offers us a choice, a choice to be totally honest and open to others or to ‘numb ourselves’ which in the end hides nothing, as on an energetic level, all is felt. This is a form of science which we would all benefit from learning and living as children.

  22. How many of us have listened to a recording of our own voice and thought – ‘eep is that what I sound like?!’ I like the point you make about it not being our voice per se that we don’t like but more so a reaction we have to the reflection of how we are living and the depth to which we hold back. This makes perfect sense, because we are naturally designed to express from the depth and warmth of who we truly are (our Soul) and to in any way hold this back will register as an abuse/reduction of this divinity. It is a work in progress for us all.

  23. I find it scary at times what comes out of my mouth. I can feel to say one thing, say it yet it comes out completely differently and instead of being an appreciative comment can have a massive sting to it. I find this happens when I am not feeling enough myself and so am not backing myself with what I am saying and so add more words which completely change it from the love of the initial feeling to the action of the words.

  24. When we open our mouths everything we have been living up to that point is expressed and felt, we can either be healing or harming with the tone and quality of our voice.

  25. mmm very interesting. We communicate so much beyond words and it is all felt! Building a relationship with how we live means less focus needs to be placed on how we express because there will be a consistency and transparency across it all.

  26. Recently I have come to the realisation that often the way I communicate can be a bit half hearted – in that I say something but hold back a little so don’t quite deliver all that is there to be shared completely. In turn this allows an opportunity for what I say to be misconstrued and misunderstood. There is much learning here for me to be open to as the quality and fullness of the way we communicate is so important in fostering and nourishing our relationships with not only others but equally with ourselves.

  27. So much is communicated in the energy of our words, which is picked up not only by the ears of the listening person but by their whole body, our whole body is in communication all the time.

  28. There are some things we do not want to see and we block them and restrict access to us. We may not want either to really hearing us while we speak so we pay attention to something else instead of to the everything about the delivery and what it transpires.

  29. Our voice indeed shows our livingness. Next to that we can always at any moment speak from love or from our head, with all its ideals, investments and pictures about how we should speak.
    A good start is to able to hear if what I say resonates in my body, if I feel what I say in my body.

  30. It is true we communicate so much more than we realise and also pick up more than we acknowledge. It is interesting sometimes to watch an audio of someone speaking without the sound on and you can hear a lot just by their movements. For example, are the trying to convince you or impose their opinions on you or are they simply presenting?

    1. You can learn so much from observing in this way. The hooks to buy, be convinced and fall for are so familiar that when they are not there, it feels odd because it isn’t pulling you, it leaves you be to listen and engage in your own space. If you don’t want to engage on that level it could even be classed as boring – what a missed opportunity.

      1. Ha Lucy you make a good point, without the hooks and jingle jangles the simple tones of clarity may indeed be classed as boring.

  31. When people have this window of awareness open that you are talking about, when people actually feel the quality of the voice in their body, they had the opportunity every time they speak to feel where they are actually coming from… It can be, if you choose, a fast track of personal evolution.

  32. I understand the ahem, I have recently been doing video recording of me and to hear and see me after is indeed very telling. It so shows how I’m being in my day to day and that in fact nothing is hidden, but here’s the thing I can stop and address this or I can gloss over it and continue, and often I do the later … the question really is how willing are we to address what we see and find, do we bury what we notice or actually look at what it’s presenting? A worthwhile and an uncomfortable read today.

  33. The beautiful thing is that – there two ways of communicating – one that get things off our chest or gets us recognition – and one that speaks for another, from something deeply heartfelt. And it isn’t always in the one liners or big note scentences, it is in the everyday flow.

  34. Awesome blog. We can’t hide anything no matter how hard we might try. It makes me want to listen to a recording of my voice and do a reading on myself 🙂

  35. “What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living.” and so we get to feel the level of responsibility we have when we communicate as we possess within ourselves the power to either heal or harm another depending on the choices we make in life.

  36. I’ve recently become more aware of people’s voices – is it a deep resonant sound from inside someone’s body, or something a bit thin and tremulous which I notice when someone is less than connected? When I notice the difference in myself its extraordinary how they sound, and it informs me of exactly where I’m at.

  37. The ageless wisdom – is our saviour light , our key to heaven back to our Soul. Simply because it offers us the re-connection to all the wisdom known and needed to live again on this earth in our current excistence.

  38. I may have to come back and read this one again! I used to hate the sound of my voice but I have started to noticed that I can hear in my voice how I have been living and have appreciated the subtle changes rather than waste time berating myself.

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