You’ll often find me as the one preferring to sit conversing in the corner, or on the side, not on stage enjoying attention or limelight. Not too comfortable being seen by large audiences, and anxious even at the thought of public speaking, let alone doing it. And as for photos – not too keen on those either! Communicating and conversation is thorough enjoyed, though recently my world of communication has been sparked alight after hearing an audio with me speaking on it…
Just like having your photo taken and viewing yourself, hearing one’s own recorded voice is equally revealing: what was I saying, communicating, sounding like and hearing; and how was the quality of my speech, i.e. what was actually coming out of my mouth?
It was easy to hear restriction in my voice, the over extending or pronouncing of certain words; intonation to make a point, convince, or sell [most probably from years of being in the sales profession]; the subtle hook of stimulated excitement causing speediness that creates a distance between me and those I am conversing with. Most pertinently and clearly heard was an unresolved hurt and reaction from a work situation that had been occurring at the time of the recording. Wow! … there was no getting away from hearing these unspoken elements, feeling the quality they delivered…
In my voice I was ‘hearing’ how I lived and the quality in which I was living. What a giveaway!
No wonder I didn’t much enjoy hearing the audio and felt it didn’t sound like me – “Is that what I sound like?” How could it when I knew I wasn’t living with the spaciousness of a full-me but instead a reduced, speeded up version affected by what had been going on at work with the need to ‘perform’, to be worth listening to, to prove a point, instead of just being the all-natural-unaffected-me.
Maybe it wasn’t my actual voice I wasn’t too keen on, but more the undertone of reaction, i.e. emotion and ‘hearing’ how the way I was living was being reflected in my voice.
What a great opportunity this audio provided in which to accept and appreciate more fully how the way my own life – or anyone else’s – is being lived is but an expression that is then fully heard and received by others.
And that if our voices do contain all our lived-choices then aren’t these choices super-powerful ‘tools’ in regards to clear or effective communication and expression?
Constantly we’re making everyday choices either to live the free, real-us, natural and loving, or as the contrived and engineered versions of us struggling to fit the perception, image or ideal handed down and invested in from things such as our background, upbringing, accent, education, job, title, position and so on – all of which create false senses of worth and therefore offer false or incomplete communications that are far from having healing effects.
With this, it was strikingly evident to me that communication is so much more than being about how we say something or what we say. That the ‘how’ has nothing to do with quietness, loudness, politeness, the great choice of words, but instead that its finesse, or lack of, is constituted by the actual way we choose to live life i.e. with love or not, with recipients receiving from our words and communication effects that are either healing i.e. loving, or the opposite.
What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living. And how we truly sound is from this livingness.
To realise and act on this important fact with conscious attention is therefore a crucial step towards taking greater responsibility in delivering effective communication that has love at its core and as its impetus. Knowing that behind our voice through words spoken or written can be either true power, or instead an imposing force of energy, based on how we live.
Checking that when we speak are we –
- Simply presenting the love and truth we live smoothly without pull or engaging in friction of reaction? Or …
- Carrying within our speech vested interests, emotion, control, convincing effort, to sound good or intelligent, to get something back, win others round for their approval or acceptance of us?
Listening to the audio it became evident that when we don’t deal with our hurts, upsets, afflictions or reactions at the time, we just end up communicating ‘all-this’ to whoever we speak with, leaving communication and our voice not clear or free. Then people receive from us either –
- The full, spacious and deep resonate sound of an equalising authority-lived from living love that reverberates around the chest walls and heart area to heal, or
- The emptiness or throaty, tin-sound reduction effect from living an unequal half or measured life bound by constraint, restraint, speediness, arrogance or loud confidence.
When we realize the effect and responsibility we each have living and communicating with lived-love, and as we deepen our livingness towards this, the healing benefits this offers another is tremendous. And so with this, absolutely, why not then take the time to slow down, invite people to be in-time with us, come out from the background, be seen, heard, listened to, and no longer deny people the presence and glory of us there to be captured by photograph or audio and enjoyed by all. Note to self, ahem.
By Zofia, Asia
Everyone Is Born With A Beautiful Voice – Singing And Speaking