Communication: What is Actually Coming Out of My Mouth and How Do I Truly Sound

You’ll often find me as the one preferring to sit conversing in the corner, or on the side, not on stage enjoying attention or limelight. Not too comfortable being seen by large audiences, and anxious even at the thought of public speaking, let alone doing it. And as for photos – not too keen on those either! Communicating and conversation is thorough enjoyed, though recently my world of communication has been sparked alight after hearing an audio with me speaking on it…

Just like having your photo taken and viewing yourself, hearing one’s own recorded voice is equally revealing: what was I saying, communicating, sounding like and hearing; and how was the quality of my speech, i.e. what was actually coming out of my mouth?

It was easy to hear restriction in my voice, the over extending or pronouncing of certain words; intonation to make a point, convince, or sell [most probably from years of being in the sales profession]; the subtle hook of stimulated excitement causing speediness that creates a distance between me and those I am conversing with. Most pertinently and clearly heard was an unresolved hurt and reaction from a work situation that had been occurring at the time of the recording. Wow! … there was no getting away from hearing these unspoken elements, feeling the quality they delivered…

In my voice I was ‘hearing’ how I lived and the quality in which I was living. What a giveaway!

No wonder I didn’t much enjoy hearing the audio and felt it didn’t sound like me – “Is that what I sound like?” How could it when I knew I wasn’t living with the spaciousness of a full-me but instead a reduced, speeded up version affected by what had been going on at work with the need to ‘perform’, to be worth listening to, to prove a point, instead of just being the all-natural-unaffected-me.

Maybe it wasn’t my actual voice I wasn’t too keen on, but more the undertone of reaction, i.e. emotion and ‘hearing’ how the way I was living was being reflected in my voice.

What a great opportunity this audio provided in which to accept and appreciate more fully how the way my own life – or anyone else’s – is being lived is but an expression that is then fully heard and received by others.

And that if our voices do contain all our lived-choices then aren’t these choices super-powerful ‘tools’ in regards to clear or effective communication and expression?

Constantly we’re making everyday choices either to live the free, real-us, natural and loving, or as the contrived and engineered versions of us struggling to fit the perception, image or ideal handed down and invested in from things such as our background, upbringing, accent, education, job, title, position and so on – all of which create false senses of worth and therefore offer false or incomplete communications that are far from having healing effects.

With this, it was strikingly evident to me that communication is so much more than being about how we say something or what we say. That the ‘how’ has nothing to do with quietness, loudness, politeness, the great choice of words, but instead that its finesse, or lack of, is constituted by the actual way we choose to live life i.e. with love or not, with recipients receiving from our words and communication effects that are either healing i.e. loving, or the opposite.

What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living.  And how we truly sound is from this livingness.

To realise and act on this important fact with conscious attention is therefore a crucial step towards taking greater responsibility in delivering effective communication that has love at its core and as its impetus. Knowing that behind our voice through words spoken or written can be either true power, or instead an imposing force of energy, based on how we live.

Checking that when we speak are we –

  1. Simply presenting the love and truth we live smoothly without pull or engaging in friction of reaction? Or …
  2. Carrying within our speech vested interests, emotion, control, convincing effort, to sound good or intelligent, to get something back, win others round for their approval or acceptance of us?

Listening to the audio it became evident that when we don’t deal with our hurts, upsets, afflictions or reactions at the time, we just end up communicating ‘all-this’ to whoever we speak with, leaving communication and our voice not clear or free. Then people receive from us either –

  1. The full, spacious and deep resonate sound of an equalising authority-lived from living love that reverberates around the chest walls and heart area to heal, or
  2. The emptiness or throaty, tin-sound reduction effect from living an unequal half or measured life bound by constraint, restraint, speediness, arrogance or loud confidence.

When we realize the effect and responsibility we each have living and communicating with lived-love, and as we deepen our livingness towards this, the healing benefits this offers another is tremendous. And so with this, absolutely, why not then take the time to slow down, invite people to be in-time with us, come out from the background, be seen, heard, listened to, and no longer deny people the presence and glory of us there to be captured by photograph or audio and enjoyed by all. Note to self, ahem.

Completely and eternally inspired by the Ancient Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Zofia, Asia

Further reading:
Everyone Is Born With A Beautiful Voice – Singing And Speaking

773 thoughts on “Communication: What is Actually Coming Out of My Mouth and How Do I Truly Sound

  1. I’ve experienced both being amazing at a recording of my voice and being horrified – yet same person, same voice, it’s a hundred percent down to what is going on for me at the time and my choices and my willingness to speak the truth or not before the recording.

  2. It is way too easy to leave our body when we are exposed to others. It is way too horrible to do so. Being out there without being fully present in the body gives us no anchor to our movements. Without an anchor we are hopeless.

  3. What we hear is more than just the words, but how we have been living is also being communicated – wow, nothing can hide really. No wonder so many of us choose to numb ourselves so that we can just stay at and deal with the surface level of our communication when our preference gravitates towards irresponsibility.

  4. When we ‘read’ the energy behind a communication, it’s like hearing another language beyond the words that are spoken. The more I learn to feel and discern this, the more I ‘hear’ what is truly being communicated, rather than just the words that are expressed.

  5. How many of us have listened to a recording of our own voice and thought – ‘eep is that what I sound like?!’ I like the point you make about it not being our voice per se that we don’t like but more so a reaction we have to the reflection of how we are living and the depth to which we hold back. This makes perfect sense, because we are naturally designed to express from the depth and warmth of who we truly are (our Soul) and to in any way hold this back will register as an abuse/reduction of this divinity. It is a work in progress for us all.

  6. I find it scary at times what comes out of my mouth. I can feel to say one thing, say it yet it comes out completely differently and instead of being an appreciative comment can have a massive sting to it. I find this happens when I am not feeling enough myself and so am not backing myself with what I am saying and so add more words which completely change it from the love of the initial feeling to the action of the words.

  7. When we open our mouths everything we have been living up to that point is expressed and felt, we can either be healing or harming with the tone and quality of our voice.

  8. I feel what you are lifting the lid on here is a can of worms that we all know exists but which we don’t want to look at or even have in our conscious awareness. The fact that how we live and all our choices can be heard in our voice is something that we would prefer to pretend that we are unaware of. Is it a case of I won’t notice how you live as shown through your voice if you don’t notice how I live?

  9. mmm very interesting. We communicate so much beyond words and it is all felt! Building a relationship with how we live means less focus needs to be placed on how we express because there will be a consistency and transparency across it all.

  10. Recently I have come to the realisation that often the way I communicate can be a bit half hearted – in that I say something but hold back a little so don’t quite deliver all that is there to be shared completely. In turn this allows an opportunity for what I say to be misconstrued and misunderstood. There is much learning here for me to be open to as the quality and fullness of the way we communicate is so important in fostering and nourishing our relationships with not only others but equally with ourselves.

  11. So much is communicated in the energy of our words, which is picked up not only by the ears of the listening person but by their whole body, our whole body is in communication all the time.

  12. There are some things we do not want to see and we block them and restrict access to us. We may not want either to really hearing us while we speak so we pay attention to something else instead of to the everything about the delivery and what it transpires.

  13. Our voice indeed shows our livingness. Next to that we can always at any moment speak from love or from our head, with all its ideals, investments and pictures about how we should speak.
    A good start is to able to hear if what I say resonates in my body, if I feel what I say in my body.

  14. It is true we communicate so much more than we realise and also pick up more than we acknowledge. It is interesting sometimes to watch an audio of someone speaking without the sound on and you can hear a lot just by their movements. For example, are the trying to convince you or impose their opinions on you or are they simply presenting?

    1. You can learn so much from observing in this way. The hooks to buy, be convinced and fall for are so familiar that when they are not there, it feels odd because it isn’t pulling you, it leaves you be to listen and engage in your own space. If you don’t want to engage on that level it could even be classed as boring – what a missed opportunity.

  15. When people have this window of awareness open that you are talking about, when people actually feel the quality of the voice in their body, they had the opportunity every time they speak to feel where they are actually coming from… It can be, if you choose, a fast track of personal evolution.

  16. I understand the ahem, I have recently been doing video recording of me and to hear and see me after is indeed very telling. It so shows how I’m being in my day to day and that in fact nothing is hidden, but here’s the thing I can stop and address this or I can gloss over it and continue, and often I do the later … the question really is how willing are we to address what we see and find, do we bury what we notice or actually look at what it’s presenting? A worthwhile and an uncomfortable read today.

  17. The beautiful thing is that – there two ways of communicating – one that get things off our chest or gets us recognition – and one that speaks for another, from something deeply heartfelt. And it isn’t always in the one liners or big note scentences, it is in the everyday flow.

  18. Awesome blog. We can’t hide anything no matter how hard we might try. It makes me want to listen to a recording of my voice and do a reading on myself 🙂

  19. “What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living.” and so we get to feel the level of responsibility we have when we communicate as we possess within ourselves the power to either heal or harm another depending on the choices we make in life.

  20. I’ve recently become more aware of people’s voices – is it a deep resonant sound from inside someone’s body, or something a bit thin and tremulous which I notice when someone is less than connected? When I notice the difference in myself its extraordinary how they sound, and it informs me of exactly where I’m at.

  21. The ageless wisdom – is our saviour light , our key to heaven back to our Soul. Simply because it offers us the re-connection to all the wisdom known and needed to live again on this earth in our current excistence.

  22. I may have to come back and read this one again! I used to hate the sound of my voice but I have started to noticed that I can hear in my voice how I have been living and have appreciated the subtle changes rather than waste time berating myself.

  23. Our voices can give a lot away when we speak, like speaking really fast, or with a higher pitch, or a tone that has threads of frustration or whatever in it. You can also feel the depth and beautiful feel of someone who is speaking from their truth, their whole body is talking and it also ignites fire within ourselves.

  24. How we have been living affects all of us, that includes how we speak and what we say, ‘The full, spacious and deep resonate sound of an equalising authority-lived from living love that reverberates around the chest walls and heart area’.

  25. Very well communicated about communication. Love is all about lots of communication. You cannot go wrong in the detail and spelling it all out. This way there is an understanding.

  26. Communication is much more than how we say something, but more to do with how we have been living, ‘What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living. And how we truly sound is from this livingness.’ Absolutely.

  27. Its so much more than words that are being communicated when we speak. I enjoyed reading this blog again Zofia.

  28. This is another factor of responsibility we should be considering – our voice is a vibration. As a vehicle of expression, we are responsible for what energy we connect to therefore to be expressed, and our voice carries a unique vibration in which that energy gets expressed.

  29. Awesome blog and perfect timing for me to read this Zofia as I have been listening to my voice recently on some audios and I could clearly feel the times when I was speaking from my mind or trying too hard versus when I spoke in connection with my body. The difference was so obvious and a clear marker of how healing it is when we speak from our livingness rather than from any need or investment.

  30. Not many speech specialists would teach that all your choices and the quality of energy these hold are the keys to true expression.. I wonder if this is also the key to true confidence? Knowing and living with the authority of living true and loving choices offers a solid platform to then present ourselves from no matter what the circumstances.

  31. Thanks Zofia, I enjoyed exploring all you shared here, and appreciated this line about how we can express verbally by “just being the all-natural-unaffected-me.” I know how it feels when I just let myself be me, and how it feels when I’m not connected and I’m protected, needy, or unsettled in some way. We can sometimes forget to appreciate how lovely it is and how much we bring by just being our simple selves, voice included.

  32. “What actually comes out of our mouths through our vocal cords is the way we have been living. And how we truly sound is from this livingness.” – This is such as great point, that what we are communicating comes with how we have been living and our energetic state of being in that moment rather than just the meaning of the words themselves.

  33. This totally explains why many of us never want to hear ourselves talk. We then have to hear and feel all that we have lived, which can be very revealing.

  34. I am tempted to record my voice and listen to what I can hear beneath the words. A similar thing happens to me when I see photos of myself. I will sometimes be shocked and ask myself ‘do I really look like that?’ Lots to ponder on here.

  35. I love what you are offering in this article Zofia, I haven’t really paid much attention to the way in which I communicate or the quality of my sound. It is so great that you highlight the responsibility we all carry with the way we speak and that it can either be harming or healing for the listener. Thank you for bringing awareness to this topic and inspiring me to explore this further for myself.

  36. Its what I am noticing in my own voice and also in hearing voices of others, especially in meetings online where you don’t see the other persons. It is always the way we live that comes through us and our voice will always let us hear how we are with ourselves in the moment and what we have lived upon that point. Your blog is very inspiring to deepen the relationship we have with ourselves because like you say we need ‘to be seen heard and listened to and no longer deny people the presence and glory of us there to be captured by photograph or audio and enjoyed by all.’

  37. Zofia I love how you have expressed the responsibility we hold, every time we utter a word, how often do we stop to truly feel what we have delivered, and why it was delivered that way?

  38. An honest and inspiring blog. Love the attention you bring to the detail here Zofia on the sound of our voice and how the various tones reflect exactly what is being lived – past hurts, frustration, anger, joy, harmony.
    “In my voice I was ‘hearing’ how I lived and the quality in which I was living. What a giveaway!”

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