It’s only in recent years when I first began attending courses run by Universal Medicine and listening to Serge Benhayon present on the topic of Self-Love that I began to acknowledge that my body is actually something to be respected and treasured. When Serge talked about all the different ways in which we numb and override what our bodies are telling us, I could feel the truth of this – it all made perfect sense. I could see how some of the choices I had been making – such as drinking alcohol, taking drugs, staying up late, working till I was exhausted and certain food choices – were all ways of living that I considered normal.
I certainly had never considered these were all choices that I was indulging in to override and numb myself from feeling the fact that I had very little self-worth and didn’t feel that I deserved taking care of.
When I stopped these activities and gave myself space to truly feel my body, I became aware of a huge amount of hardness that I had built up in order to protect myself and to not feel what was going on in my body.
It was enlightening and empowering to hear that my body is a marker of truth: if I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me, and all the ways in which I choose to numb and override what my body feels, then it would be my best friend – supporting me to live the Love that I know I am.
This understanding was a breakthrough for me although I still found it difficult to let go of certain aspects of how I was choosing to live that affected my body, keeping it in a state of tension.
I’m much more respectful of my body now compared to how I used to be but it’s taken me a long time to acknowledge the depth of disregard I’ve had and still have for my body.
My understanding of Universal Medicine’s teachings is that self-love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all.
Self-love means living in a way that is respectful of myself – making loving choices for my body. This I understand, but I found this to be a simple concept that was/is a stretch too far for me. So long have I lived in disregard that is driven by a deep lack of self-worth, I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life.
I’ve now had to be honest about this and bring myself back to basics – self-care was initially for me a more real and appropriate starting point – and even then I didn’t find it easy to change my approach to the level of self-care I had for myself.
Simple things such as showering, bathing, the way I brushed my hair, the things I chose to eat and drink were already a part of my daily routine of self-care, however when I chose to bring more presence and a deeper level of care to these everyday activities I noticed just how much I lacked bringing any true quality to these moments.
I now have a growing awareness of the choices I’m making on a daily basis which keep me feeling racy – avoiding the stillness that I have felt at times within me. I find myself in a momentum of making these kinds of choices but my body is telling me loud and clear that it’s not happy. It’s uncomfortable but interesting to observe the patterns where I’m still disregarding my body because of external pressures.
For example, when I put pressure on myself at work to get things done, it’s so easy to skip breaks and shorten my lunch break: these are opportune moments when I can check in with myself and re-connect with my body, and by not giving myself this time I feel exhaustion and tension when I do finally stop.
Also, wanting to please others and not honouring how I feel is another great way to deplete myself. What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!
Also I see situations that I’ve put myself in which reflect the beliefs I have about myself, people and life – these all affect my body and I’m learning to observe and slowly change the way I am in these situations.
I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.
I’ve become more aware of how I hold myself back from expressing what I feel for fear of what others may think of me! When I see these patterns and feel the stifling effect they have on how I choose to express I can then stop and say ‘no’.
The choice to be true to me, and my body, can at times be a little uncomfortable but I can also make it fun – enjoying the ever-unfolding journey… when I choose to listen to and respect my body!
With great appreciation to Serge Benhayon and all of the inspiring practitioners who have consistently shown me that there is another way to be.
by Heather Hardy, Workshop Manager, Worthing, UK
Further reading:
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
Healthy Body Healthy Mind
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Honouring our body ensures we are supporting ourselves fully and we will therefore be at an optimum in all that we offer and deliver to others.
“For example, when I put pressure on myself at work to get things done, it’s so easy to skip breaks and shorten my lunch break: these are opportune moments when I can check in with myself and re-connect with my body, and by not giving myself this time I feel exhaustion and tension when I do finally stop.” You hit the nail on the head here for me Heather – hence why this weekend I am recovering after an intense week at work instead of feeling vital and alive.
Yes the body speaks and speaks loudly if we are prepared to listen. Such a blessing to have constant messages from our bodies about how to eat, when to sleep, what to express etc.
A foundation based on self-care is always evolving and essential, in order to back us up for whatever comes up without affecting the quality within.
It is true that we are forever called to deepen our self-care and love and build a new foundation of support to hold us and therefore all others.
By working on and healing our lack of self worth, we can start to value, respect and truly care for ourselves in our daily lives.
Thank you Heather, great to read this again today. I can really relate to this line “So long have I lived in disregard that is driven by a deep lack of self-worth, I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life.” I have spent a lot of time focusing on others to the point that it communicated to me that my worth was much less, and I can see how that is still reflected in pockets of my life.
To be disrespectful of our bodies is to self harm and should be considered a crime against humanity. And yet it has become common place and accepted as normal. The real crime is when the majority of people no longer expect anything more of themselves, routinely abuse their bodies and often unaware of the consequences of their choices.. Respecting and appreciating our bodies is the foundation of true self care.
Thank you Heather, you’re just really turned things on their head for me today in reminding me that when we believe we’re not good enough we bring in everything that supports that, this is really something for me to dig underneath right now as I’m facing challenging situations and to notice when this is at play. A very useful insight.
‘I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.’ An interesting observation Heather, like we are reflecting our beliefs ahead of us.
“My body is a marker of truth” is an important statement as it defines that my body is showing me the result of my choices in life and that it is not a matter of good or bad luck, my genes or family inherited. It is all from how I have chosen to live my life and in the understanding of and to deeply feel the truth of this makes me to take more and more true care for myself in all aspects of my life.
To be the constant observer of our self should be a subject in school. It is so important to really know ourselves and treat ourselves with absolute respect and deep care and love.
Our body is like our best friend, a very wise best friend, ‘then it would be my best friend – supporting me to live the Love that I know I am.’ Beautiful.
Thank you Lorraine for highlighting this, it’s a beautiful way to live life in partnership to the body, understanding how that it is leading us back to living ever greater depths of love.
“What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!” This is a great observation, empowering oneself to take the steps that are needed and not stay stuck in victimhood.
Great to be reminded that the body is a marker of all truth and to stop and reflect on what have I been choosing.
It was a hard fact for me to realise that I too was the person who put pressure on myself to do more and therefore exhaust myself trying to please others. It is something that I still find I catch myself doing at times until I pull myself up and listen to my body..
I love how paying attention to the detail of our everyday actions can make a huge difference to the way we live. Its simple, yet the effects are far reaching and profound. I am still discovering this for myself, and life just gets more interesting and enjoyable.
Yes Debra, there’s wonder and magic in self care: as we go deeper, more is revealed and we find a never ending pot of gold.
I think it’s a common disease for us to hold back saying what we feel in fear of what others might think of us. And by disease, I mean quite a deadly one. If we’re all living with the same anxiety, then perhaps something’s not quite right. perhaps being polite and looking good isn’t the answer to life. If we all just let go a little, loosened up and just realised that all we have to do is be ourselves, the pressure we like to think we’re under will be lifted right before our eyes.
It does seem so normal in the world for us to ignore and over-ride our bodies but so fulfilling and enriching in life when we do not.
It’s incredible how we can hear all these great words, watch presentations and be delivered the truth about the huge significance of taking care of ourselves and then go away and bash our body. It illustrates so clearly Heather that there is a part to us who resists and runs away from our light, from steadily and obediently caring for life, from Love itself. Once this is understood and we know we are in a day to day struggle with this selfish part, we can start to understand that it’s simply a case of us holding ourselves steady and making our way all about the tenderly caring for our body.
That is one of the things about numbing ourselves in that we even numb ourselves to the fact that we are numbing ourselves.
‘when I chose to bring more presence and a deeper level of care to these everyday activities I noticed just how much I lacked bringing any true quality to these moments’. I have noticed this too, and I can feel how much I take care of my own needs, and I love to give to myself, but I can also feel I can deepen the quality in which I self-care self-nurture.
Our bodies are a marker of truth, this has to be one of the most profound facts that calls us into account for no matter how much we place emphasis on something if it is not done from the truth of our heart it will need a correction in whatever shape or form it is needed, so a small discomfort or, fungus on the body is telling us to make certain changes to the way we live.
As you have highlighted Heather, it is so freeing, enlightening and empowering to know and that our body is the marker of truth. Our responsibility is to listen and respond.
‘So long have I lived in disregard that is driven by a deep lack of self-worth, I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life.’ Me too Heather and I agree, taking it back to basics is the only way forward when self-abuse has been normalised within us to the extent we no longer recognise it or the hammering our bodies and being are taking.
For me self care is about being honest with myself as well as all the practical things I can do. The practical stuff only goes so far- if I’m doing it to check boxes and any form of trying to be something, then it doesn’t work at all and is not self caring.
‘It was enlightening and empowering to hear that my body is a marker of truth: if I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me, and all the ways in which I choose to numb and override what my body feels, then it would be my best friend – supporting me to live the Love that I know I am.’ A great reminder how we can either be our greatest friend or our worst enemy.
Heather, you have presented a golden key for us here – it is low self worth that often drives us to a lack of care for ourselves. So the answer is not to force ourselves to care more as this is impossible – well, you could say we will tick the box and do certain things or not do certain things, however if the true energy of caring for self is not there, then these actions will not have lasting effects. However, if we were to work on self worth and the fact that deep within it is about awakening the true value and respect and care that we have of ourselves then from there naturally follows the actions to care for oneself deeply. The same could be said for ‘healthy’ eating, for losing weight etc, for when the deep value, respect and care and worth is awakened, then there is no boundary to how we can support ourselves. You have revealed a golden key indeed! Thank you Heather.
You raise something vital here Heather, we often go through the motions in our self care, not willing to give ourselves the space to actually deepen our relationship with us. And when we do we change the simplest things into something that truly supports us.
To bring respect and dignity back to the body opens up a complete new way to be and take care for our bodies. Instead of only looking to the outer gestures of the body, we do connect more deeply and with that with an intelligence that is far more supportive to us then the thinking mind, which is able to allow abuse to the body instead.
What I am finding is that self-care and self-love is not something you can complete and leave behind. It constantly evolves as I learn more about my true self and what care that being requires.
Yes, the tick box approach to self care – and everything- is pretty perfunctory and superficial. It’s got me through life relatively unscathed and unnoticed, but completely disconnected and reliant on the satisfaction of completing something, rather than the joy of living life with all of me in it.
Feeling the pressure from others, is always us putting pressure on ourselves to please. Not to discount the fact that of course others can impose pressure, but we only feel it when we choose to take it on and then try to meet an expectation for the sole purpose of need to be accepted, like or recognised.
And that’s why relationships- whether they are partners, friends or colleagues – are so vital, because they reflect to us exactly where we’re at and all the expectations we place on ourselves of who we think we need to be. It’s so easy to blame others for ‘their stuff’ of their expectations – but what about our own, first? How are we already judging the other or needing them to be or express to us so that we can feel okay?
It’s really quite incredible to consider but true: it has taken a presentation by Serge Benhayon to initiate self respect, care and love for myself. These days this is something I now understand while lovely to learn and develop at any stage and age, there is great awareness that starting form birth this is a very loving way for us all to live.
There has been a sense today of how much it is our choice to enjoy our lives. Being tender and loving has allowed me to feel the beauty and grace I am. It is so easy to enjoy this.
Living from the mind creates a way of being that is abusive and harming for our bodies there is no marker of truth to refer to so we keep going until the body breaks down, learning to incorporate self-care in our daily living allows us to connect to the delicacy and preciousness of our bodies that needs to be treated as such.
When we live from the mind we sever our connection to the body and our innate knowing of what is true for us.
Life can sometimes be uncomfortable, but a healthy dose of fun and keeping things light is always good medicine.
“I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief” this is so true and just confirms that we are the masters of our own destiny.
Yes we are Samantha, we are all masters returning….good to remember that when we may slip into old patterns rather than beat ourselves up.
It is so easy to go through life ticking boxes and seemingly think we are doing well, however when what we do void of a true quality, we can end up doing more harm than good… and ultimately deny ourselves the beauty of the presence and stillness we offer each task, feeding us back what we deserve.
The more I build a connection to my body and what I’m actually feeling, the more the auto pilot way of being just doesn’t cut it anymore. Stillness is starting to feel like somewhere I want to be instead of avoid, because with that stillness and spaciousness there’s a clarity and settlement.
I read this feeling so much pain in my body. What I have been learning is that the worst thing I can do to my body is not express who I am in truth. That is most painful. Devastatingly so.
I am realising that observing myself and others is such a self-loving thing to do especially in my work. The behaviour of wanting to please another and hence disregard myself I can slip into but as I observe this behaviour and clock it something changes. I seem to be aware of how I am feeling and what is going on within me and another. It is indeed work in progress.
At one point this did support us but now a blog like this written today would need more depth. These comments support and the blog is still great don’t get me wrong. It’s just that it leads us to see life still in parts and not see the whole thing as one, almost like you do xyz and everything will improve which is true to a point. But it’s a constant unfolding, there is no end point and no place this doesn’t apply. In other words don’t just look for a fix because one part of your life isn’t that great, look into everything with the same eyes and then when you feel it’s better, look again and then again and again. This isn’t a task but more of a key to how not to let things slip or drop again. At times we don’t dedicate fully to the healing ongoing. We see an improvement and stop and then if it comes again we just bring it back to the good or better. Life and how things are brings those that can see it all at this point more responsibility. Not more in a sense compared to someone else but more as in relationship to someone else. Just like our life isn’t true to live in parts so too it is so with everyone else. What they choose isn’t our part but what we choose, the depth and reflection to everything else is.
“I certainly had never considered these were all choices that I was indulging in to override and numb myself from feeling the fact that I had very little self-worth and didn’t feel that I deserved taking care of.” This is huge Heather, yet seems to affect huge swathes of the population. Anything that is’t love – which heals – is harming to us, our bodies and thus a reflection that this is ok out to everyone around us. it would seem that it is ‘normal’ in today’s society to not care deeply for ourselves.
Thank you for this great reminder, Heather, that it’s not only just those ‘obvious’ choices such as drinking alcohol or eating food that doesn’t support us that affect our body, but the thoughts and behaviour, the way we communicate with others that are not true to us also have detrimental effect on the way we feel in our body.
‘Also, wanting to please others and not honouring how I feel is another great way to deplete myself. What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!’ A great realisation and one that never comes too late. How easy it is to blame other people or situations when the responsibility simply lies with us.
That is so true and right Heather : ‘The choice to be true to me, and my body, can at times be a little uncomfortable but I can also make it fun – enjoying the ever-unfolding journey… when I choose to listen to and respect my body!’
We often see it as a harsh thing or a struggle, but this only comes from the resistance we have build up all these years that make us believe that it is a harsh thing or one of struggle. Whilst, actually when we listen to our body, our Soul and our Heart, we know that being connected to our body and taking care of it well so, is actually the greatest joy! Way more joyous than poisoning it!
“I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief” . . . yes so true, Heather, we really do set ourselves up to confirm our beliefs about our self.
Hello Heather and great blog. It’s interesting, if we are able to see that we don’t or aren’t being self caring or taking a deep care of ourselves that would mean we already have a marker within us on what this actually is? I mean otherwise there would be no need to change. As you say our ‘body is the marker of all truth’ and so this would mean we make choices to actually make sure our body remains quiet. How you move and how and what you eat would be a couple of major factors in keeping your body quiet but then as you are showing at some point there is a noise that keeps growing. I enjoyed what you say about self care and agree. Setting up a rhythm or routine that you know with certainty will support those time where we walk away from stopping or being still. It would seem very obvious to me the link in keeping ourselves busy as a means to keep ourselves away from something known within us, also as you say. Create moments or stop points in our day as a consistent thing and you can’t help but listen to what your body is saying. The outside world would have you do anything while the inside world would have you do what is true.
I very much relate to pushing yourself at work when there is pressure. “What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!”
I am realizing that I am my own worst enemy to pressure, Being the boss, I actually do not give myself the same love and care that I give everybody else in the work place.
I cannot underestimate the power of appreciation to ourselves and towards others yet even with this knowing I have hit a brick wall in allowing myself to deepen my relationship with appreciation especially in the finer moments in my day. We are constantly being offered moments to evolve and it is a choice as to whether I choose these moments or not.
When I have disregarded myself eg.not willing to feel every thing around me so I numb myself by eating too much food it begs to question the reason why… why do I not want to deepen the love for myself or why do I not want to say ‘yes’ and feel that I am worthy or deserve more love that is within my body. There is always more; it is a forever deepening and to accept and appreciate where I am today is key.
It is almost unbelievable when realise just how much we measure our worth from the world outside ourselves through relationships, the things we do, the lifestyles we choose. And all the while we override, forgo and disregard the one relationship that only ever reflects the truth of who we are, and guide us to live the immeasurable and uncontainable Love that we actually are. Thank you Heather for sharing so beautifully how this is possible, how through self-care and self-love a path of self-discovery is revealed, through which we can truly begin to live being ourselves.
If we do not want to feel something, the number one thing we resist most is our presence.
Its amazing the changes that happen when we apply more care, conscious presence and love to the things we do for ourselves and others on a daily basis – life transforming.
Drinking alcohol, taking drugs, staying up late, working till exhaustion, choosing certain foods to eat is as normal as getting sick by doing all of that. ‘Normality’-land is our worst creation; one that is killing us.
It is so obvious to me now that I can only be as loving and respectful to others as I am to myself, but when I was younger for some reason I did not see it that way. I was quite uncaring with myself and thought I was being caring with others – what an illusion I lived in. Strange how some people think it is selfish to think of yourself whereas in truth it is incredibly selfish and irresponsible not to take care of yourself!
Seeking recognition is very common, I see this play out in myself and in others, and I agree, it does feel very uncomfortable. It feels false, empty and needy. I find the more I appreciate myself and value what I bring, seeking recognition is no longer active.
I can very much relate to your blog Heather. I too used to deplete my energy by doing things to please others and avoiding listening to my body. I used to push myself a lot, but now, I too am learning to self-care and learning to respect and honour my body. It is the best guide for me when I am willing to listen and willing to say no to things that doesn’t honour or support me to be who I am. Self-care and self-love truly supports me to be myself and to express what feels true.
When we feel into the quality of what we are bringing in every movement we make in our lives, we naturally bring a deeper love to our presence and consider the responsibility we have to humanity
There is an old saying ‘ you are your greatest asset’ which is funny because the last thing we focus on is ourselves, we have been conditioned to be selfless and think of others, but that clearly does not make sense as if we are not supporting ourselves how can we support another. Since turning this around and establishing a self loving and caring relationship with myself, I am naturally a reflection of self care and self love to everyone around, which can support more than all the assistance you can give, as it empowers another to support themselves
“Self-love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all.” Being respectful and gentle with how we care for ourselves brings a whole new awareness to our quality in movements and this in turn awakens a new level of love for who we are. The reflection on offer from this quality is a shining beacon of inspiration for others too. Self love opens up a door to connection and one that is so much fun to explore.
Everything changes when we consider the quality we are bringing rather than simply functioning through lifes daily tasks and seeking a reward or sensation.
Thank you Heather, for showing us that self- care and building a relationship with your body is never ending, and at times can be very revealing of what ways that we had not chosen to love our bodies before. So beautiful example for us to see and if so recognize ourselves in…
‘bring more presence and a deeper level of care to these everyday activities I noticed just how much I lacked bringing any true quality to these moments’. A lot to ponder on here……
So long have I lived in disregard that is driven by a deep lack of self-worth, I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life. I recognise this too and started with the baby steps of self-care and self-nurture which has continually refined and which has supported me greatly to love and accept myself.
So true Heather. When we start to treat ourselves and our body with more love and appreciation it reveals a deeper level of love that we can live.
Heather what a great blog! Thanks for all you have shared. You’ve given me awareness today of how I also choose activities that make me racy and disturb my own stillness. For me the resistance has been in admitting responsibility for where I am at, and allowing myself to therefore take responsibility where I would like to be at! It all boils down to observing the cause and effect of our choices, and as you say – making it fun.
Self-love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all. This is absolutely true Heather, as when we choose to stay with our bodies and listen to its constant promptings and honour them, our bodies not only feel joyfull, they are so much healthier and vital, and this is our natural way.
Thank you Heather! I enjoyed reading your sharing again and reacquainting myself with your wisdom. I can see it has been a long haul for me to self nurture and this I know has been through my giving myself away to doing for others and not self first then the rest naturally follows. Love is where we learn to do this.
Because we are all one and interconnected with one another, the care we develop for ourselves will be equally available for all.
Indeed fiinacochran01, we either are an inspiration for others to develop taking care for themselves too and in that evolve or we allow the others to stay in the same indulgence as we do. That is in fact our responsibility in life, to live in such a way that we are an inspiration not only for ourselves but for all the people we are with and are connected to.
Great observations Heather, growing Love from deepening Self-love.
I can completely relate to what you have shared Heather. Self love has and still is one of my biggest challenges. I find consistency in bringing self love a major key for me. The more our cup is full of love, the less room there is for anything else.
Self-care is an ever deepening part of life that brings immense rewards, when it is truly about caring for self.
I can relate to that resistance to going deeper with listening and lovingly responding to my bodies messages that are solely focused on moving in a way that will bring out more love into my life and to the world around me. I have entertained a gulit that has at times felt so deep – a sense of ‘how could I treat such a divine body in such an abusive way?’ And thought such acts and choices to be irredeemable. But I am learning that this is a lie and when I ask my body no forgiveness is required, just connection and move on and forward with the body. No need to dwell on the past choices.
“I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.” This really shows how powerful our ideals and beliefs are and how much our lives reflect what we believe.
In addition to my above words. Being liked and accepted by others matters less and less because you know your worth.
I liked what you said about how we think others are putting pressure on us when it is actually us placing pressure on ourselves, because of a desired outcome usually to be liked and accepted by them. Why do we not make the time to like and accept ourselves? When we start to deeply care for and about ourselves, begin to value ourselves, being liked and accepted by others matters less and less.
Thank you for the reminder of bringing a true quality to everything we do… we can make the movements of self caring choices but if it is lacking presence or any true quality of care, then it isn’t care at all.
How often do we check our phones as opposed to checking-in with ourselves? I observed in myself that the habit of checking in with my phone dominated and this led to an imbalance in my body. Self care is not just how we intimately care for our body, but how connected we are with ourselves throughout the day. Never let attachment to technology supersede relationship with self.
“I certainly had never considered these were all choices that I was indulging in to override and numb myself from feeling the fact that I had very little self-worth and didn’t feel that I deserved taking care of.”This is eye opening when considering my daily choices.
Something I’ve noticed as this becomes more refined, is how I use little treats are rewards… usually on the ‘approved list’, at the end of the day to give myself a pat on the back. I call them treats because I know in some way they take the edge off how amazing I have felt in the day… but there is still this habit of assuming that takes effort, and so I need something to help me reach for the off switch.
‘What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!’ Yes I can no longer blame others but instead acknowledge that my people-pleasing has had a detrimental effect on my own wellbeing and can still have when I choose not to honour what my body is feeling as happened yesterday at work. For me accepting that this is ongoing is something that I still need to deeply appreciate and not see it as a chore but as a way that I can support myself to live more fully and true to myself and my purpose.
Awesome title and for me acknowledging my lack of self-care has exposed the lack of respect I have had for my body and then how shocked I am when it lets me down! I have also found gradually building a self-care routine more challenging than I expected but approaching it from observing my patterns and recognising that at any moment I can choose to make changes has supported me to lovingly introduce different ways of being with myself that have transformed my life.
“When I stopped these activities and gave myself space to truly feel my body, ” these activities can be anything, like busying ourselves when we get home from work, when it may be that the one thing our body is calling for is to stop.
If we respected our bodies then there would not be the plague of world wide exhaustion there is, nor the levels of abuse, dis-harmony in any shape or form, with ourselves, in family homes or the in physical fighting and war, we would not impose on one another and allow each other to be our glorious living selves, people wouldn’t put up barriers or protections, everyone could breath again, in the sense of not holding their body in a configuration / a hardening / tension / holding pattern to not feel the onslaught other peoples stuff directed at us.
‘ my body is actually something to be respected and treasured.” This is the absolute key, we can go into trying to work things out in our heads, how to change things or what to do, which is complicating things, the power and simplicity of listening to our bodies is immense. It is so so so simple, yet we choose to not listen to it. It’s as simple as asking yourself, ‘what do you feel,’ and the answer is very very clear and very different to what your head is telling you.
I love the title “learning to respect my body”, it is really something we need to learn as we are very much shown and learn to simply use our bodies but not how to take care of them.
Self-care is the expression of the love that we live and the more love we are able to live the more profound our self-care will be.
‘self-love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all.’ This comment stood out to me and it is that simple when we bring it back to basics. The truth lies within us all, all we need to do is reconnect with our bodies through self-love and nurturing.
Our body Loves us to the Bone and Thank God, it never stops – Forever, our body is showing us where we are at, the effects of how we are living and whether we are with our natural flow or against it.
‘living in a way that is respectful of myself’ this is one of our number one jobs, learning to hounour, respect and deeply love ourselves first, from here I cannot help but love everyone else.
I have lived and still do at times with a large amount of disregard to my body, I often don’t live from it first, which has shown itself in a physical sense with warning signs of osteoporosis. This is in moments of dis-connection from myself, for when I listen to my body there is no way I can’t be precious with it and say no to everything be it food, relationships, thoughts, movements that do not support my body and us all. I was reminded of this when seeing a new-born baby being held in a supermarket café the other day. The absolute connection, tenderness, love and care the dad held his child with was absolute stillness. This was reflection of how I am to be with myself.
Self care affects every area of our lives and often founded on the amount of preparation we make before setting out on our day or on journeys. Recently, I made space to feel into what I needed for a long haul journey to the US and prepared well. Remembering how uncomfortable I felt last year on a similar journey, I bought myself a simple two-tiered lunch box and lovingly prepared food for the journey: fish, steamed and raw vegetables, salads. It made a huge difference to the quality of the journey, especially when faced with delays due to storms and hurricane warnings. I slept little on the flight, worked a little and watched films, on arrival I was still present in my body, a little tired, but not frazzled. The quality and type of food I chose for the journey made a big difference to how I felt. The one thing I forgot was air-conditioning and the importance of taking a scarf or shawl with me. It helped too to think through and have all travel documents easily to hand, to minimise tension at transit and security check points. There was a flow to the journey, very little fight or tension.
Recently, while in the company of people still trapped in the cycle of party hard, drink and smoke with abandon, I observed but did not judge. It reminded me of the life I once to led, trapped in a cycle of self abuse and disregarding my body completely. I had no awareness of self care. Now I do, and can appreciate how blessed I am to be out of that old self destructive cycle. It means I can enjoy, party and participate fully in celebrations fuelled by self love and inner joyfulness, no alcohol or other stimulants required.
‘I chose to bring more presence and a deeper level of care to these everyday activities’ As you say Heather, it’s less about ‘doing’ and all about the quality we bring to all our movements.
Its a great comment from Gyl… this expectation that we should feel the same as yesterday, or perfect. Why not a more honest approach of feeling what is going on and allowing that to inform us of how we were yesterday, and what our body needs today?
I have this belief that I’ve got to keep doing – even when I am exhausted and need to take deep care of myself and rest. It’s completely detrimental as it has a knock on effect to how I live, the thoughts I allow in and my interactions with other people, as I don’t allow myself the space to stop, listen and be with them. I often end up resenting everything I have to do. I make it about self. What I have noticed is, it’s not the amount of work that is the issue, nor the driving, that’s easy – yes I do need to take care, plan and rest for big days or long trips, but, it is the quality I do it in, as in am I rushing, thinking about the next thing or am I taking care, driving gently, doing one thing at a time with full attention and commitment. If the later the outcome is very different, I don’t feel floored at the end of the day or grumpy with people, I have much more energy, space and time to be with people, there’s no rush, there is joy. A joy which is felt through every cell of my body, much like a little child.
I can very much relate to this – “working till I was exhausted“- as I have been given the space to feel how damaging this is to my body, mental health, as when I am run down I feel more down and negative self bashing thoughts comes in and wellbeing. How I move changes. Though, when I stop and re-connect to myself, yes my body is exhausted, I need to rest and take much more care of myself, but I feel and am very still, deeply connected to God and feel amazing. I feel that same quality and love I have for myself as I did when I was a little girl, there is no need to do, there are no self bashing thoughts, what my body shares is so loud and clear and in honouring I feel so much joy and stillness. Imagine the whole world stopped, for a moment, and we all came back to ourselves and lived from here, we would be far less imposing on one another, brotherhood would be completely felt and lived. People would support one another, deeply care for and love each other, there would be far less hatred, aggression and misery, not to mention that illness and disease rates would go way down, and people would be so much more light and joyful with a spring in their step. We would go back or full circle to living as a true community again.
There is so much joy and stillness when we truly honour what our bodies feel.. It’s amazing that we override them in the first place and lose ourselves in the doing or the excitement of the activity. Whenever I get swept up in the thrill and excitement of something, it always feels like a temporary high, and it always takes me further away from me. By stopping and connecting to what I can actually feel, there’s a steadiness and a stillness that I can connect to that’s inside of me and needs nothing from the outside. It’s beautiful because it’s a far richer experience than excitement. There’s no end to it and all it takes to feel it is a choice – and commitment to keep practise making that choice – to connect to what’s already there.
It is interesting when we can feel pressure from others to do something or behave in a certain way when in fact it is us that is placing the pressure on ourselves. Learning to say ‘No’, letting go of any guilt that may arise for saying ‘No’ and trusting the outcome is so loving and not selfish like I once thought it was.
“Self-love means living in a way that is respectful of myself – making loving choices for my body. This I understand, but I found this to be a simple concept that was/is a stretch too far for me. So long have I lived in disregard that is driven by a deep lack of self-worth, I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life.” I love the honesty of what is shared here as I would agree – Yes it does seem like a big step and for me had been and was an unlived territory in to self-love but only because not loving me was so familiar. So first starting with having respect for ourselves is a great starting point. Thank you Heather.
It’s so true Heather, we can bring our true quality to anything we do from the way we walk and talk, to the way we cook a meal or take out the garbage. In fact, there is no task we do that cannot be lifted by the loving quality how we do it.
It is time we all woke up to the fact that the excesses, indulgences and disregarding behaviors we think are normal in this day and age are actually so abnormal and dishonoring of our human bodies they are actively contributing to our escalating rates of illness and disease.
Thank you Heather Hardy for showing that self-care is a step by step process and that it starts wherever we are and with what is most relatable and tangible for us as well as that we can deepen taking care of ourselves every day more.
“Also, wanting to please others and not honouring how I feel is another great way to deplete myself. What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!” I used to have this experience and sometimes still do but it was a light bulb moment for me and made me realise how much blame I had been placing on others and how at times I would avoid people because I didn’t have the capacity within myself to honour what was right for me.
I’ve found that loving and caring for the body is hugely supportive – it’s changing the way I feel about myself and the quality of my thoughts are such that I’m becoming less critical of myself. When we start to care for our bodies and feel what that does it encourages us to continue making those choices that are truly supportive. But like you Heather I felt that initial resistance and we have to be patient with ourselves and just take it a step at a time.
There are so many pathways to patterns of numbing and disregarding ourselves – but underlying is always the same thing – that we have walked away from who we truly are and instead of making it about reconnection we make it about distraction and escape from the emptiness we feel within.
“What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!” To me this was a big revelation in life, the pressure I felt in ‘stressful situations’ was not coming from the outside to me but was something that I created for myself instead. What I have learned from this is that by becoming more caring for myself I also became more aware of what I was doing to myself and so on, a continuous growth in self awareness and with that also being honesty to myself has grown and on top of that I could also feel that I become more humble, not feeling any special to others anymore.
“self-love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all” what a great line, this stood out for me as it is so profound in its simplicity. It is each of our responsibility to come back to the love that is within, to deeply nurture that, appreciating and acknowledging the divine within us all.
It’s an interesting thing to consider why we don’t let go of behaviours that are harming ourselves, no matter how subtle they are. In fact the more self-loving we are the more we are able to see the subtleties and the harm they cause. I am observing this myself at the moment and how I may let something slide, because it may not seem significant. But these are the really important ones to pick up on because although they may seem insignificant the effects are huge and actually allow in more harming behaviours.
‘I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.’ This is gold Heather, when we choose to live with this level of awareness and responsibility life changes in amazing ways.
My body asks a process of refining of what is love and to surrender to this love, I realise this is the beauty of life and living in cycles. There will be forever movement and changes to enjoy.
Oh how self care and love have added to my life. I did not realize how capped and secular this area was. The lid has been lifted on these areas now. They are forever changing and expanding as the level and depth in me grows. Thank you for your sharing Heather.
Having recently been diagnosed with an auto immune disease among other things, I’ve started to really appreciate what it means to take care of oneself and the impact it has on my body when I don’t. It’s taken some time to reveal itself, but the health conditions I have now are a direct result of me mistreating my body, simply by ignoring it’s even there. Seems crazy and impossible, but it’s not. The level of neglect I’ve shown toward the only thing I actually own and am responsible for is huge. Thank God for Universal Medicine and what they offer and present!
‘I certainly had never considered these were all choices that I was indulging in to override and numb myself from feeling the fact that I had very little self-worth and didn’t feel that I deserved taking care of.’ How many of us can relate to this? I can. I had no idea that other people were not more important than me. I was taught to look after others, but never taught that I should do that only after I’ve looked after myself. These days, that makes perfect sense for the quality in the way I look after someone else will be directly affected by the way I’ve chosen to take care of me. Makes such sense!
I’m getting better at noticing the quality or lack there of, in my everyday movements. It doesn’t take long to realise that you flick the switch to auto pilot and off you go. We’re so used to just doing doing doing, we completely forget how we are being. I’ve absolutely loved the reflection I get from those that bring love and care to everything they do. Because at the end of the day, what is the point if we are exhausted, resentful and unhappy and forever waiting for the next thing to prop us up. Imagine always being content in the moment?
Heather, I could have written this blog post. All of what you say here is also my experience. It is truly astonishing how much we override our own bodies for the sake of pleasing others. You’ve really nailed it.
Thank you for articulating so honestly your struggle with one of the basic tenets of Universal Medicine – that of respecting the body through making self-loving choices. Sometimes concepts are simple in their logic and truth but in their application and translation into our every day practice, we suddenly come up against all we have been disregarding, avoiding, suppressing and protecting. So it can be a process of huge evolution once we start – but one that supports the development of our self-worth all the way.
It really is lovely to come back to this blog and read “Self-love means living in a way that is respectful of myself – making loving choices for my body” – so simple, and there is a constant deepening in what feels loving to my body, and sometimes I am surprised at different reactions my body presents.
Thank you Heather, the more awareness and love I choose to connect within my body the more I get to feel how much more there is to appreciate about my own unique qualities and the reflection offered to others.
I have also made choices in order to override and numb myself in order to protect myself from getting hurt. As I began to open up more and connect to my body, I could feel the tension within and as a result have made more loving choices and a new world has opened up, one of openness rather than one of hiding.
Dis-regard for our bodies is huge – a life-long habit in fact that gets promoted as normal at so many stages of life.
This made me really think about how many behaviours and choices that we often take for granted and even create functions and activities around – (the immediate ones that come to mind are common things like catching up for coffee and cake and drinking at a social event, staying up late, checking our with TV etc) – are generally accepted as ‘normal’, when if we ‘really’ assesses the impact on our bodies, we’d have to say many of these choices are certainly a long shot away from being supportive of health and wellbeing… Something that is certainly worth becoming more honest about in my view…
I agree Angela, and often it is not until we become unwell or ill, that we are prepared to stop and reassess what works and what doesn’t. And even then when we recover we easily drop back into the ‘normal’ routine of life.
Thank you Heather for sharing so honestly how far you have come in making self loving choices, It certainly is an ever deepening of this love, and a continual coming back to the love we are, when we find we have been in disregard in some way, so simple, a choice in every moment.
What I am learning is that self-loving choices always come in response to what is needed. I can no longer plan what to eat, what to do, what time to go to bed and feel frustrated when circumstances do not allow it to happen. Self love is what we weave our everyday life with, and not what we sprinkle on top.
I find that when I plan things it leads to huge frustration when they are not achieved in the time or way I had planned! This is not self loving so I am allowing life to unfold as it is and if I allow this to happen all is complete and this amazes me!
“Self-love means living in a way that is respectful of myself – making loving choices for my body.” as you have mentioned Heather this can be quite a challenge for someone who has lived life in disregard not knowing any other way but as long as we can bring our focus to our body and be consistent at it we soon realise how much we deserve to treat our bodies in a loving and caring way.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Heather and your journey from disregard to truly loving yourself. Thanks to Universal Medicine presentations I too have turned my life around and now treat my body with more love and respect, and the lovely part is it is endless how much we can deepen this.
I really appreciate what you’ve shared in your blog Heather and I find it curious but understandable (when we have a lack of self worth) that we would rather put ourselves in disregard (something very familiar to me) and at risk of illness and disease than upset another. What about the upset we cause ourselves! Everything naturally falls into place once we develop a loving relationship with ourselves.
On rereading your blog Heather what struck me particularly was your comment about bringing a deeper quality and presence to your self love; I found this very powerful.
Well done Meg. We must do much work in this area. I love these two words..”respected and treasured” A great mantra to focus on for me for a time.
I agree Sally, and this resonated for me, “Also I see situations that I’ve put myself in which reflect the beliefs I have about myself, people and life – these all affect my body and I’m learning to observe and slowly change the way I am in these situations.” This one is a key one for me when choosing to take true responsibility. I have seen wonderful changes when I truly own this one.
It was only re-reading this part you’ve highlighted Irena that it feels like I’ve just noticed the big pink elephant on my lap. Our situations in life confirm our choices and the energetic quality of such choices. If a situation keeps repeating then thats just a fact that our choices haven’t changed. Even if it’s a situation we say we don’t like and play out on the surface as reactions and fighting the situation – we’ve on some level said ‘this is where I want to be’ as we choose to follow whatever image we have attached to OR because we have chosen to follow what feels true from our bodies. Often I have found that what feels true goes against every single image I have ever or continue to hold onto, but following these feelings regardless feels more stable and steady.
I love this key..”I now have a growing awareness of the choices I’m making on a daily basis which keep me feeling racy – avoiding the stillness that I have felt at times within me.”
Heather I loved your words “It was enlightening and empowering to hear that my body is a marker of truth”. It took me a little time to build a relationship up with my body, and learning that the connection with my body tells me many things, especially if I am not eating the right food, or I sit at the computer longer than I should, I will get a twinge that tells me to move, or if I override it the twinge will develop into something else. It is very beautiful when we build a loving relationship with ourselves.
Its so simple and I have heard it many times that the ‘body is the marker of truth’. I have nodded my head and said ‘yes!’. But what I have found is there is tendency and a tension that pulls us away from honouring our physical and inner being. It require dedication and consistent choice to keep coming back. But when we come to understand the true power we have you wouldn’t want to live another day ignoring what it has to say, like a barometer for truth and love – our bodyometer is by our side.
That is a great point, Joseph, and what you say here is exactly what I needed to hear. Here I am finding myself yet again prompted by my own body that deeper nurturing is being called for. Just perfect. Thank you.
The momentum of our previous choices in respect of behaviour is sometimes a difficult pattern to break – it certainly does require dedication and consistent choice and the more we keep making more loving choices, the less hold the previous momentum has.
‘But what I have found is there is tendency and a tension that pulls us away from honouring our physical and inner being’ You’ve expressed this well Joseph and is something I’ve observed in myself. There are no easy answers, but going deeper to explore why, is the first step.
I always thought I took care of myself, however it was not until I attended the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I started to understand what true Self-care was. I now have a connection with my body and am building a greater form of respect for my body and all that it reveals to me, from true self-care and self nurturing.
Yes Heather, there is a part of us that think self-care is so very basic. Yet we don’t live this care in our lives. For me it starts to be so conditional, if I’m feeling ‘good’ I might treat myself lovingly. But how absurd is this when, if we are struggling this is when we most need a tender warm hearted friend? It seems there is no end to the deepening in the self-care we can bring, and no moment we don’t deserve to honour and cherish ourselves. Because in this honouring we value and appreciate the precious beauty of everything.
That’s beautiful Joseph, I tend to take great care of myself now as I would a very dear and precious friend, and I love how the incremental steps of self-care that I’ve taken along the way have grown into building a much deeper appreciation of myself and everything around me. It really is quite wondrous how something as basic as self-care can develop and evolve into so much more.
I can relate Meg, as many people can I’m sure. There has been a belief where self-care was lame or boring in my age group, like care was just so uncool. How twisted is that! Now instead of caring what other people think about me I am learning to bring the true care back to the way I live and hold myself in deep regard instead of dismissing the body I have been absolutely blessed with.
The utter importance of self-care is being highlighted at present and I can understand why we have so much disregard in the world. When we walk with the care, love and knowing of who we are we carry the light of God in our stride. To do this though, we need a foundation of care, to know what it feels like in our bodies otherwise it’s just knowledge without a lived experience. There in lies in the power of self-care and nurturing the rhythms by which we live our lives.
Thank you Heather for a very honest blog I really relate to what you have expressed, I have lived in so much disregard of my body, lack of self worth was and is still lingering there, it is a slow process for me, but gradually I am coming to appreciate me more, by adopting self loving practises.
Connecting with my breath has been the key in loving myself more. And this started with the Gentle Breath Meditation some years ago. For me this is an amazing tool to come back to my body and to the knowing that I am a Son of God and my body is my vehicle to express all that I am.
we are so dreadfully conditioned to not have respect for our bodies, or for anyone else’s actually, that the way we live, the way we relate to each other in relationships, are so often built on a foundation that has no substance indeed is corrupted innately, so this foundation of self care is essential for us all.
Here here cjames2012 – bring on self-care in education, we need to know and relearn how to love and nurture ourselves so we can understand the potential of our divine bodies.
Rachael, yes bring it into the education system in a true way. Imagine children being taught this from an early age? What a different world we would have.
‘My body is a marker of truth’ – indeed. Our body never stops communicating the Truth and our choices determine how much of it we could access. So, it makes absolute sense that by choosing to not feel the pain and numb ourselves, we are actually blinding ourselves from the truth.
‘What I used to see as others putting pressure on me, I now see that it’s actually me putting the pressure on me to please!’ A familiar one for me too Heather. The space it gives when we observe and allow to truly see what it is we are choosing and change this in coming back to ourselves is enormous. At least that’s what I feel, it is as if I free myself of a tightness in my whole body and can breath for myself again.
I’m a big lunch and break skipper – I know this at times has detrimental effects on my body and even just taking a little 5 minute pause can have a huge effect on how connected to myself and content I feel at the end of the day. I DEFINITELY must reintroduce a few little pauses in the day to ensure the rest of the day stays on track.
Heather I deeply appreciate your honesty with what you have realised and where you are at. It’s so supportive and inspiring to read. I agree self-love can be quite a leap from lack of self-worth, but as you say a great starting point is honouring ourselves with self-care. I too have found this a challenge to be consistent with this but am so inspired by the reflections being offered to me by other Universal Medicine students that step by step the quality I bring to me is becoming honouring and dare I say it, loving.
Yes Lucy I feel that the incredible reflections offered to us by the students of Universal Medicine are such a blessing.
Keeping it light it a great tip, it’s easy to be so hard on yourself when you make mistakes and you see the effect you’ve had on your body, and that hardness makes it much worse!
Same here. Fun and lightness are also for me markers how I am within situations. I can easily get serious or hard on me about things. That creates a drama in itself. So just like kids stay playful with it all.
Yes I agree Meg I know exactly what you mean and if I chose this hardness and make the situation 10x worse and I am not able to be light – than I find it very helpful if my partner or a friend joyfully reminds me on that.
It’s something I am very much learning, and I hugely appreciate people pointing out that a mistake is not the end of the world and things are still ok too 🙂 I am retraining myself to not be so immediately hard on myself and to be able to go forwards with understanding rather than condemnation.
I am re-learning this as well Meg and my feeling is since I am less hard on myself I am also less hard with everyone around me and that is very beautiful feeling.
That is definitely true, when we surrender more in ourselves and live will less self critique and hardness towards ourselves, it definitely changes how we are to other people too.
I agree Meg – being hard on ourselves often magnifies a bad or not so supportive choice. I’m still working on this one but can certainly vouch for learning to take responsibility for my choices and for observing them rather than reacting or resisting them. By observing without judgement, it allows me the freedom to be aware I can make a different choice next time.
Being hard on ourselves when we make a mistake absolutely magnifies it! I love how you have brought observation in, knowing you can make a different choice next time makes life so simple, and whatever just occurred not such a big deal.
I feel this also Meg. When Heather mentioned this one I felt how strongly it pertained to me..”I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.” This happens to me when I have had a great day of teaching and then I bring in the self-abuse the next time I walk into the class, which to me is pure self-sabotage. I was a master at that one.
Heather, that is a brilliant, honest blog filled with so much truth that all can benefit from reading. Starting to love and care for our body so it may be the carrier of Gods light.
‘When I stopped these activities and gave myself space to truly feel my body, I became aware of a huge amount of hardness that I had built up in order to protect myself and to not feel what was going on in my body.’ It is very sad that we consume all sorts of things to make us relax or feel good when the very things we put into our body keep us from truly feeling what is going on.
iljakleintjes what you have raised here feels so true. It is insidious how this happens and we don’t even realize it is. it is not only consuming things but it also relates to the activities that we choose to distract ourselves from our true feelings.
Beautiful sharing Heather – thank you. It is so true that our bodies are our best and truest friend, as it does know us better than anyone and never lies or hides from us what is true. So when we choose to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us we begin to see that there is a truer way to live that is far more self-loving, honoring and so much more joyful.
I love the thought of my body as a best friend. It really makes me consider if the way I treat myself is equal to the way I would treat another.
It does give one a lot to consider. I have had a session when I’ve been asked would I treat my best friend like that, or even a child. Of course not, so why do I do it to myself?
Yes – it’s fascinating how many double standards we have when it comes to the way we treat ourselves and the way we treat others, and also the way we think of ourselves, I’m sure the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves is much harsher and more critical than how we would ever speak to another human being.
I know – me too. I literally had no idea what making self loving choices was about, I’m so thankful for the Benhayon family for showing me a totally different way to be with myself, as what had become normal had become so ingrained I couldn’t see a different way, but through constant inspiration my normal is slowly changing from being quite harmful, to being truly loving.
Heather I have just re-read your blog as it speaks to me so loudly. I relate to it all, from overriding the body needs to please others or due to my internal pressure of what I want to achieve, to deepening my presence in all activities. The more presence I bring to my body, the more I confirm to myself that I am worthy of receiving nothing less than this tender loving care.
What a beautiful reminder and confirmation of the importance of deepening the level of selfcare, to self nurturing, and always checking in on the body as it is true marker of truth.
Thank you Heather for such an honest and inspiring blog. I can relate to every word in it. The more I feel connected to my body the more I can pick up when I am leaving that connection to please others and try and fit in to what I think others want and bring myself back.
We are so used to overriding our body’s messages. For tiredness we have coffee, for stress we have a drink after work. The awesome thing about self-care is as we embark on the self-care path the overriding can stop, and we can listen and care for ourselves almost as our parents used to tend to us as children.
“my body is a marker of truth: if I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me, and all the ways in which I choose to numb and override what my body feels, then it would be my best friend – supporting me to live the Love that I know I am.” I loved reading these words Heather, and I am more and more appreciating the intelligence and wisdom that my body holds when I listen and feel it.
What Universal Medicine is showing us we can pass on to others, I feel blessed to have found my way to this loving way to live.
It is revealing of us all when we consider how much self-harming ways of being there are out there that are so generally accepted in society and in fact endorsed in our social etiquette. These are all in contrast to what our bodies, the very thing we have to walk around with each and every day are saying to us all of the time, if we choose to listen.
Before Universal Medicine, there was a part of me that relied on others to take care of me. In some way I had handed myself over to all those people that would ‘fix’ me when the time came where I needed the help. This unfortunately gave permission to be reckless with my body.
I see this daily at work, the amount of injuries caused by the choice to put our body in situations that cause harm, with fractures, broken bones, torn muscles and so on and these injuries have life long consequences that often require repeat surgery and/or ongoing hindrance to normal function. Giving our power away to others is really not caring for ourselves and we really need to consider what we are doing and how we are living and take the responsibility back. It will save a lot of time, aches/pain and money in the long run.
I think the attitude of ‘this is fixable’ or we are ‘unbreakable’ or believing a doctor can heal whatever you present them is quite a vast consciousness…. And quite far from the reality of life, where one disregarding choice can effect you for the rest of your life.
It’s interesting what you share Heather about not realising that the disregarding way of life you spoke of isn’t ‘normal.’ When so many people around us are living this way, we can fall into the belief that this is normal and exhaustion, stress, overwhelm, loneliness, and all the things we do to mask these sensations are just part of life.
As you describe here, the way to live in amongst this without subscribing to it is to take your cues from your body rather than how others are living but in my experience it sure makes a difference to have someone in your life reflecting to you that maybe there is another way. This is where we all have a responsibility to live and walk out choices in the world for all to see … You never know who is on the cusp of choosing a more loving way but just needs to catch a glimps of someone else doing it before they choose it for themselves.
What stood out to me reading your blog Heather is just how much we as a society are not taught to love ourselves. It ought to be something that is presented to us from the day we are born, as it is so fundamental to our development. Like you Heather it took Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to present it before I started to love myself in the way that I do now. It feels to me that self worth and self-love are basic human rights.
Beautifully said Elizabeth, we are not taught in any way at all to love ourselves, you are right, surely self love is a basic human right and should be as natural and normal as walking, or picking something up. It doesn’t make sense how far away self love is from our current view of what is normal.
Great comment Elizabeth. It seems that quite the opposite occurs however, and it makes me wonder how we as a society have allowed this to be so. Now that we have this awareness we also have the opportunity to change the way it has been to date.
Thank you Heather for developing my understanding of the link between self worth and self love. It seems the two are connected and you cannot do one without the other. What I have come to understand also with the support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon is that self worth is a deep acceptance of the fact that I am a divine multi-dimensional being who is super sensitive, super still and aware of everything all of the time and all the little ways that I hold and move my body every day are simple practical ways I can honour this.
Lovely to read of the process that you have experienced returning to who you feel you truly are “My understanding of Universal Medicine’s teachings is that self love is the key to healing and re-awakening the truth that lies within us all” I have also attended Universal Medicine presentation and have fun them deeply supportive and inspiring, the changes I have made in life have happened when I have gone home and committed to care for myself in a more consistent way. There is a key to here that is accessible to all, I began this path knowing that something wasn’t quite right with how I had been living int terms of green stress an fatigue and a lack of contentment or what I would now call joy. This was self care, I began listening to my body and stopped eating foods that felt lie they bloated me or made me tiered, like pasta and gluten full bread, slowly as I built this self care it became self love, and I now live with self love. It is an ongoing path, but for sure that self love is a ’key’ it opens up awareness and connection that I thought I would never feel. It is amazing to experience.
On re-reading this blog I’m reminded of a trap I’ve fallen into this week, that ls ‘wanting to please others and not honouring how I feel is another great way to deplete myself.’ I override my needs to give to another, and of course it inevitably goes pear-shaped because I’m not fully with me.
The harm I create in disregarding me is coming more and more into my awareness, and a huge disregard I have is to align to the norm in society and hold back my truth. This is something I get aware of in the moment which supports me to express more.
It’s astonishing that we don’t naturally care and respect our bodies, and I was really struck by the surprise of it reading your blog. I know until I met Serge Benhayon and his life changing presentations it simply did not occur to me to look after my body, and I was exhausted and ill in my teens. What you have presented here is such great common sense, and so natural, what makes us choose the complete opposite to completely disregard our bodies?
I can relate to these examples of your experience Heather of disregarding the body due to external pressures. Thank you for sharing your journey with this.
It is challenging sometimes to fully accept the level of disregard we live in. I feel this is because we live in a society where we have learnt to champion certain behaviours to be good for us and make them “normal” when in fact they are very harming for our bodies but have the dishonesty to accept that as we are more often than not getting a relief of some sort to not deal with the real issues we have created.
Well said Francisco – it is seemingly easier to hurt ourselves with reckless behaviours, no matter how subtle, than it is to be honest about what really hurts.
Brendan, I love your take on, “Saying yes to the things in life that we know truly support us … ”
From your sentence, I see that putting attention on saying ‘no’ to unsupportive aspects of life creates an approach where one is ‘fighting’ against temptation or tricks or overwhelm – one is ‘on guard’ all the time and when one ‘fails’, there’s the usual self-beating-up and or sense of failure, etc … however when the attention is directed to that which truly supports, one can almost ignore the unsupportive stuff and just let it be ‘over there’ … and then simply focus on developing and expanding the good stuff … I like it! 🙂
Great point Marian. I find that self-bashing pattern is a habit that can resurface if I lose focus on what supports me, and instead indulge in the battle. By accepting and feeling what has occurred I can drop the ‘battle’ and get on what is needed. A great reminder to myself!
” … my body is actually something to be respected and treasured.”
It’s been a turnaround (and still is in process) to go from hardly being aware of my body and taking it completely for granted, to that of knowing it is a treasure and a support and miraculous and amazing and is to be cherished in every moment. How has this turnaround happened? … from all the books, presentations, healings and dedication of Universal Medicine, that’s how! 🙂
Heather, when I started to attend Universal Medicine events and listen to Serge Benhayon present I also “began to acknowledge that my body is actually something to be respected and treasured”. Like you “I could see how some of the choices I had been making . . .were all ways of living that I considered normal”. Slowly as I became more and more aware to listen to my body and to re-connect to the love that I innately hold, my life transformed. Like you, I discovered that “when I choose to listen to and respect my body” it is an ever-unfolding journey.
Heather I am slowly understanding this too at an ever deeper level “.. if I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me, and all the ways in which I choose to numb and override what my body feels, then it would be my best friend – supporting me to live the Love that I know I am.” Honouring this way of being helps stop the tyranny of the mind and the relentless thoughts, raciness and anxiety running the show, and instead gives us an opportunity us to hear the silence and stillness always there beneath.
I love what you have written about bringing presence to what we are doing, and being more self loving with ourselves. “Self love is the key to healing and re-awkening the truth that lies within us all.”
Thank-you Heather, quality of presence in everything we do say and think is the most important part of our livingness. I love saying, it is not what you do but how you do it – I know what to do to take care of myself and mostly this is habit without requiring much thought, but it is now the “how present and with my body am I” that I focus on.
I agree, the quality we do everything in is so important, and without that quality nothing ever feels great or complete. It definitely should be taught at school that conscious presence is one of the keys to life.
Awesome blog which reminded me about not only the choices I make in everyday life, which at all times involves my body, but also the QUALITY in which I make these choices or activities. Thank you, Heather.
I love how you shared about the presence when you are in self care. I have made many changes in my life in the view of self care and looking after my body, however have also noticed that there is still something lacking and that is the presence in everything that I do. I need to keep stopping and checking in with myself re presence.
Yes I agree Thomas, whenever I don’t express what I feel in my body and hold it back it is a sure recipe for disharmony to build up in my body. expressing in full connection and honouring of the body is true medicine.
I remember the first time I heard Serge Benhayon refer to the body as being the marker of truth, it struck something in me where I knew I could not hide any more and play the victim or poor me that I had been playing all along, but had to start making more self caring choices and and be more loving with my body in any way possible.
Self Care is the single most important things we can do on our way back to love. I love the powerful phrase you have shared, that the Body is the Marker of Truth – Very empowering to read this Heather.
It is very empowering as you say Heather, to realise that our body and how it feels is the end result of all our choices, it brings self-responsibility to every single choice we make.
Self care is the true icebreaker in all our lives. When self caring is initiated, it starts to immediately break down the tension or the hold that is on the body. I’ve found I don’t have to try and fix the problem, just bring a greater level of care to my body and often the issue just lessens or becomes very easy to deal with.
I agree mathew brown, it’s as if with simply bringing a deeper level of care to my body I settle into my body, and connect with a stillness inside where I feel at home and am more able to bring me, without those outside influences, to the matter at hand.
Great comment, for me that’s revelatory – no need to fix the problem just bring a greater level of care to my body.
I love the way you have described this Matthew, about worrying or focussing less on the outcome or the problem, but more on the level and quality of our self-care. What a great foundation self care can provide in all areas of our lives!
Self-care is a way of living that it seems we don’t like to give ourselves permission for. With self-care we actually care for ourselves. Sounds obvious – but how many of us want to do that? Once we start even a tiny bit of self-care, the cycle of feeling how lovely it is to care for ourselves starts and then more care and nurturing is not only possible, but right on our doorstep.
Great comment Matthew. Shows how much we underestimate self-care.
So very well expressed Heather… I loved reading your blog and the opportunity it provided me with to check in with where I am at. While reading I was able to honestly feel where my body is at and where I am at with self care and self love.
So true Liane.
I had an experience yesterday where I was invoiced for a service that had a component that I was not aware of and was going to be charged an extra half an hour.
This was already a very expensive service so to be told it was going to be 50% more than I had been quoted, felt particularly cheeky. I contemplated letting it go and just paying it, essentially giving my power away to someone I believed had power over me, but then I remembered how awful I feel when I let that happen. In that moment I took responsibility for the fact that only I allow people to pull the wool over my eyes, and decided to write back and state my claim that at no point was this additonal service quoted, and had I known I would have had an opportunity to either accept it or decline it.
Low and behold, in speaking my truth and expressing what did not feel right, resulted in the provider waiving the additonal non discussed fee. This was a great experience for me in being assertive and trusting myself.
Heather, it has been some years now since I first started attending Universal Medicine workshops and you’ve reminded me that prior to them, I never considered that my body required any attention. I had no regard for my body whatsoever. As you say, everything Serge Benhayon presented felt absolutely true to me and made complete sense, especially the point about how much better care we take of our cars than we would ever consider to do for our bodies.
Thank you Linda – yes, the sadness I felt at not truly caring for myself was something I had never wanted to feel, so I would completely numb myself to this by eating too much, lots of distraction and generally doing as much as I could to harden my body so as not to feel a huge amount of sadness buried inside me. Allowing myself to feel this has been an important part in my building a true and loving relationship with myself.
I could have written these words too Heather. When I felt how very hard I have been with myself and on my body, a great sadness arose in me. For me it has taken some very firm dedication to make self-care a consistent thing. Even now it is quite easy for me to take sneaky little shortcuts, and shortchange myself, and eat a lot of nuts to take away the sadness. Doesn’t work – I can attest, then my dear body has the short cut and the extra handful of nuts to deal with.
Self-care is so much simpler. Not always easy, but always simpler.
The perfect blog for me to read tonight. Thank you Heather.
I really love your point ‘self care is also my thoughts’ – bringing a greater responsibility to our personal awareness of what we are aligning to in any moment, which governs our thoughts as well as our physical activities.
Thank you for your honesty here Heather. It’s not always easy to admit, when looking over our lives, just how much disregard we have been living in. But awareness is key, and every single loving decision we make from this point forward builds the foundation of love in our body. Every choice counts.
For me, observing has been that key that allowed me to see what amazing qualities I have and where I bring them everyday. From there I finally could see how harsh and hard I often had been with myself and what pressure I exerted on myself. Seeing so obviously why and how I did it has made it a lot easier to develop a loving approach towards myself and reintroduce joy into my life.
Yes Carmel, appreciation is crucial in moving forwards. Indulging in beliefs and thoughts which keep me locked in old patterns simply create more of the same. I found appreciating my qualities quite alien at first but this has grown the more I re-connect to me and say no to those negative thought’s.
Reading your blog reminded me of how much energy I waste, trying to please others and how depleting and exhausting this is, thank you for the reminder.
Thank you for writing about the benefits of self care for our bodies. I have such a different relationship to my body now, more loving and more connected. In fact I would say that years ago, before Universal Medicine, I was not connected to my body at all, I just carried it around with my head ignoring any discomfort. Now I am prepared to listen to my body and I love feeling how tender and sensitive and delicate I am.
Thank you Heather for this totally inspiring open blog that supports anyone coming to that point where they know there is another , more caring way to live. This is a golden resource for us all starting out on that path back to a more self loving way. I have been living more caring of myself and my body and it really has transformed my body and me from being defensive, hard and reactionary to more open to people and more appreciative of myself and others too.
To see ourselves and our bodies as deeply precious, that is the key. Most of humanity does not see this really, they’ve forgotten that they are so tender, sensitive and precious no less than a baby is. When we reconnect to this preciousness that we all are, it’s not so easy to bash ourselves. It feels terrible and we quickly stop it!!
Heather, what you share here is very simple yet enormously profound. From the vantage point I have now, where I do deeply care for myself and look after my body, it seems crazy not to choose this self-care, but what I do remember was how easily I used to abuse my body — and I see this so often with people around me. It’s like we have an ingrained belief that pleasure equals attacking the body, be it with food it doesn’t really agree with, alcohol, drugs, staying up too late etc. And that is simply crazy because the depths of joy that is felt when our body is honoured with us is profound — no stimulation, excitement or short-lived pleasure can match this.
Well said Gyl , the pressure we put on our selves is a killer ,instead of letting go and feeling what is our way or next choice based on love or the most loving choice .
What you have shared Heather beautifully reminds me of the fact there is no limit to the depth we can appreciate ourselves, that I am beginning to get a sense of. In sharing all you have I feel supported to continue exploring this, thank you.
Heather great topic to discuss and all of it I can relate and one that jumped out was -‘I’ve become more aware of how I hold myself back from expressing what I feel for fear of what others may think of me! ‘ – This has been my everyday issue for me and what I have come to understand is that this holding myself back is simply and indulgence that I feed to stop reflecting the enormous, amazing Love and Light that I am to all. The responsibility that I am avoiding when I go into this is significant. Self-Indulgence in any form is abusive and as Julie said the more you start to look at it the deeper you can see how it can run us. Most definitely one to keep an eye on and keep choosing what we naturally are.
Yes Natalie, just lately I’ve been recognising how convenient it is to indulge in the limiting thought’s that I have so often allowed to come in. In fact they were so familiar to me I thought that’s who I was. I realise now that’s not the case and that they are just a story I’ve bought into to keep me from connecting to my true essence and expressing from there. I can see the harm this has done to me and how this lack of responsibility has harmed others also. Choosing appreciation instead has made a big difference but as you say, it’s one to keep an eye on as the thoughts can come in under the radar if I get distracted in any way.
And yes, blaming others or outside stuff for the pressures we feel in my case is more often than not the pressure I put on myself. This is a comfort and complication I choose to stop myself feeling just how simple the choices I can make are – love or not love, that is it.
Its funny as I never initially thought I was one for pleasing people but I can see how much of my life has been dictated by this – but also how much we exhaust, impose and dishonour ourselves by doing this, it’s like a never ending game of giving our power away that we all play instead of just being honest. Imagine if we all just stopped – literally – and honoured what we felt. I’m sure coffee sales would drop, work productivity would go up and we’d all be a lot more truthful, harmonious and joyful.
That is amazing to even contemplate, the world would be a different place!
Heather, I can relate to so much you share, in particular the overriding of my body and what it so loudly shares with me, it’s crazy that we choose to do this. I too feel this stems from a lack of self love and self worth – but I am realising that lacking self worth is a choice and can be a cunning complexity game and excuse card to play – instead of simply choosing love.
There is always more – a deeper level of self care, more to express, appreciation… I can feel how the more I allow myself to feel my body, the more sensitive I am to what is needed, less food, earlier bed time, more exercise, different food choices, time to cook and I thought I was doing all of these things before. As has been said, what felt OK today, feels like a lack of love tomorrow. Thanks Heather, it’s good to know I’m not the only one experiencing these things!
It’s a big topic Laura – not only does how we care and love ourselves affect our lives and everyday output greatly, it also affects everyone else very much. It is not something we necessarily like to hear but it is a reality, we all affect each other greatly for better or for worse.
When we speak through what I call a filter, the other person doesn’t hear or feel the truth and that’s what they react to or resist. When we speak straight from our heart, people may not like what is said, but they feel the truth of it.
I agree Sandra, reminds me of when a person asked a class how do you take a photo of someone and make them look like your equal …. ( they were looking for technicality) I cheekily and truthfully said ‘ hold them as your equal when you take the photo’ – the guy just laughed and literally couldn’t speak, he tried to, but couldn’t disagree – as they knew it was the truth. All done with a smile and playfullness.
That’s my experience too Jenny, people feel the truth of how we look after ourselves and it does give them an opportunity to do the same for themselves.
Heather there are many things that I’ve done in my life yet none of the things such as drinking too much, getting angry, frustrated, feeling unconfident, scared or being jealous etc.. are things I would have considered as choices. I just took them to be life and out of my control. What I’ve also learned by the teachings of Universal Medicine and presentations by Serge Benhayon is that everything is a choice. Whilst super confronting as it means I have a responsibility with everything I do, every choice from the quality of by very being, it does also bring a real sense of purpose to life and understanding along with the fact that I can by choice change the way I am living and come out of the suffering I accepted as human life.
I am learning how patient my body is. Always showing me things to reflect the choices I have made. My mind is less patient of my body, when it is adamant about wanting something, usually to numb or distract. But my body is always there, patiently bringing me back. So the question is, how long will I carry on the yoyo affect?
This is a great blog Heather. What I am finding more and more is that what I used to think was Ok is now abusive to my body and this keeps changing as time goes on. I can’t believe what the poor old body has had to put up with and process what is not harmonious for it over the years.
If I went on a night out now and did what I used to, it would quite literally kill me.
Allowing knowledge to get in the way of Truth has supported me to be dis-honest with myself as I build a committed, consistent and loving relationship with myself.
Thank you Heather for this great blog has revealed much of where I’ve been, am currently and continue to choose to go.
A truly awesome blog Heather – you have touched on so many things I have slowly been realising for myself. In particular the concept of self-love, which was well beyond any knowledge or understanding before, but as it becomes part of my daily practice, an amazing awareness starts to build – and I can start to see what holds me back from choosing such natural and joyful way of being…and how this affects the quality of everything I do – which in turn affects everyone and everything else. The benefits of what can happen when we take these simple steps are grand beyond imagining.
Thanks Heather. Reading this made me wonder about my break taking at work. I’ve just started a new job and hardly take a break at all.. Now I have a little hint into why.
What a delightful and honest blog – thank you.
It has taken a while to believe that I am good enough no matter what happens in life. Self doubt is a disease well worth erasing.
Yes Matthew and a life without self doubt is a very natural one.
This is great Matthew and so true. Self doubt is so harmful and by erasing it we return to our natural state of being and self nurturing. That is pretty awesome.
‘Self doubt is a disease’, oh yes so true Matthew Brown, it a disease with life limiting symptoms. We should treat it very seriously.
‘Self doubt is a disease’ – SPOT ON! It’s a disease that spreads very fast if not caught early on, and an imposter that will affect every part of your life.
A difficult time for me is when I have build a certain level of self-care and then seemingly drop. Again it is asked of me to self-care and realize that much more is at play than just a self-abusive choice. A beautiful way to look at it is to see: what has been self-caring for me in the past is now abusive because I live much more love on a daily basis than before. Having this in mind I can move forward joyfully.
Why is it that we so often think of the negative when something arises, as the saying goes the glass is always half full but we see it as half empty. The mind is definitely causing us an issue in this instance when there is actually not an issue at all, just an opening for expansion.
felixschumacher8 I love what you are sharing here, it is that constant fine-tuning of the level of self-care that is needed as we choose to be more love in our lives.
It’s a super important point, there is always a constant fine tuning when it comes to how we care for ourselves, it’s amazing how even when we appear to have mastered it there is a much greater depth we can go to.
“If I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me,”
“bring more presence and a deeper level of care”
“I now have a growing awareness of the choices I’m making on a daily basis which keep me feeling racy – avoiding the stillness”. These quotes really resounded in me, related to me in a timely fashion and reminded me of the true responsibility here to choose. Thank you Heather.
highlighting is a great place to start as I know from writing about the experience it has allowed me to become more aware next time I start ‘looking for the gap’.
I love your honesty here Heather and can relate to all you have written! When I first heard about the concept of self care and self love through Universal Medicine I created a mental tick box job sheet that I thought would bring me very quick success. It proved to be very unsuccessful. As you shared it is all about quality and whilst this is very much still unfolding for me I can now feel an enormous amount of joy when carrying out the most simple of tasks whether it is, for example,folding clothes to put in drawers or cooking yummy food.
Most people I feel can relate to holding themselves back for fear of what others may think. Thank you Heather for sharing with us that there is a way of living that can support us to stand within ourselves and express from there without worrying about how we will be received. It is all about staying true to ourselves, which requires a commitment to self-care and self-love.
I can feel your strength in this Elizabeth, we do worry a lot about how we will look and end up looking less because of our holding back who we truly are – a catch 22 that keeps us constantly less – and perhaps even on purpose – not willing to face the responsibility and power of being all who we are.
It just makes perfect sense to put ourselves first and treat ourselves with the love and respect we have always deserved. Thank you Universal Medicine for showing me the way back to a path I had long forgotten…
And to make the choice to make love our way and start to live by the fact that everything is energy and nothing else.
I can definitely relate to so much of what you have said Heather , from the putting work and others a head of my own needs of self care and love . Also the part about learning to express and deliver and not hold back from speaking the truth, when it needs to be expressed as it can allow and empower another to do the same. Well done , there is so much to re learn in love and life 🙂
Thank you Heather for reminding me that “I’ve observed how believing that I’m not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief”. I can be my own worst enemy and yet I have had glimpses of what it feels like to be entirely connected, it is delightful and liberating. So I keep on learning.
Hi Heather, I enjoyed reading your blog and the words that stood out for me this morning were “I’ve observed by believing that I am not good enough brings in thoughts, people and situations that will confirm that belief.” I have over time discovered that also – awesome revelation isn’t it, and the other thing that I have observed is that by learning to appreciate me more truthfully and lovingly, knowing that I am more than it would appear to be on the surface has the affect of magnetically pulling me to experience a deeper love, a love of grace and wisdom – that is for me I feel another awesome revelation of note. I give thanks for the grace of having met Serge Benhayon some years ago, and the choice I made then to attend the presentations of Universal Medicine for the opportunity to learn to be more aware of my past behaviours and patterns.
Beautiful blog, and something I am sure everyone can relate to in one way or another.
It can become hard to take that time to truly care for and love yourself with all of the pressures that life brings, but definitely something to be consistent with as the body will thank you immensely for it!
Yes Thomas, it takes real commitment to not get distracted by the pressures and busyness of life but it’s so worth while to build consistency. Deepening my commitment to self-care just keeps bringing greater awareness in my body and it feels so supportive and loving to develop this relationship with myself.
Hear hear Judith, that is quite enough.
agree who and what does being nice and polite serve?
Something that has long fooled me that it was a pillar of being a good person.
However from the example above it enabled me to disassociate myself from another.
Rather if I said “sorry mate I must stop you there” That would associate myself to that person a lot more rather then checking out.
I am thrilled to read this Heather! How super honest and it reflects absolutely where I find myself at – making self-loving choices but in what quality – what is still driving the choices? I too am still feeling the attachment to self-loathing which drives my disregard. My life is certainly improved and a miracle to where it was 6 years ago but there is still tension and exhaustion. How amazing to observe this, be honest and look at the effect of these choices so we can take responsibility for them – until there is honesty and responsibility to see where we are really at, we are stuck. Once there is willingness to go there, then we can let it go with the will and intention to deepen to a true level of self-love. Let’s keep bringing on this commitment to go deeper and deeper with this kind of relationship with ourselves.
Thank you Heather.
True Sue, so many people accept being tired all the time as something that they just have to put up with, and use caffeine and sugar as props to keep going. As these substances are addictive, their lives become a cycle of more exhaustion, more caffeine, more sugar, on a hamster wheel of existence. Thats not living, thats not how our lives were meant to be.
In my understanding, self-love is an ongoing relationship with ourselves that never stops or reaches its final end, as we grow and change and as life changes too, we are constantly learning what self-love is.
I do that all the time Luke…. It feels awful too because the other person can feel you are not really “with them” sometimes I feel that this is why they keep talking and talking – chasing a sense of connection that is absent from the interaction. In the end we all walk away feeling discontent at best and deep sadness at worst. Pleasing is not nice at all.
agree Leonne. “chasing a sense of connection”. it is like they are trying to regain our attention. A devilish game of both parties.
Yes Jenny I wholeheartedly agree with you. When I show true care and respect I always see a greater care from others and it also offers help too.
When I found Universal Medicine and reawakened the understanding that my body was the key to pretty much everything, I realised how much of life is asking me to function like a walking head – in total disregard of the body as a whole! Self-care takes on a whole new light with the awareness that my body holds the key to everything I tried to attain in my head!
Learning to listen to the messages of the body takes a willingness to face up to what it is telling us. I find that the messages that my body gives me are so accurate but I have to be willing to listen and learn. An example of this might be if I find a small bruise on my body and I can’t remember banging into anything I know that I have not been present with myself because if I had I would know how and when I got it.
Elizabeth this is very true – I too have noticed that if I am willing to listen and learn, my body will tell me everything I need to know.
Excellent blog Heather I learnt a lot from it, particularly what you said about the desire to please others and how exhausting that is.
‘…it’s taken me a long time to acknowledge the depth of disregard I’ve had and still have for my body.’ I can relate to this Heather. Like you, I’ve been aware of this concept for a while but am still discovering the subtleties of self-abuse. The overt examples are clear to see, it’s the smaller ways I can harm myself that are far less obvious.
‘If I were to stop all of the indulgences, activities which serve no purpose other than to harm me, and all the ways in which I choose to numb and override what my body feels, then it would be my best friend…’. Gorgeous – words to live by Heather, thank you.
We are the creators of how and what our lives are like – be it joy and love or misery.
Realising that all of this is but our choice and choosing to take the responsibility for our lives is probably the most powerful choice we can make.
It is such a beautiful concept to think of and treat your body as your best friend, one who will support you to live the love you know you are – listening and respecting it through self-care to self-love in a forever deepening and unfolding relationship. Gorgeous and totally inspiring.
Lynda I have the same fear ‘what others will think of me’ so I’ve become this person that is serious so people can’t see the real me. It has sucked all the fun out of me and I can feel in my body that this way of living is not natural. This way of living is not self loving as I am ignoring the beautiful natural fun loving me that my body can easily express because it’s who I am. It’s time to get my self love on.
I can relate to this fear too Lindell and Lynda, and I know that I can take life as something very serious instead of playful which I feel deep inside is my true nature.
Yes this is a classic – I too have been very good at this Leonne.
Heather, I can relate to everything you share here about deepening our self-love and self-regard by simply bringing in a much deeper respect for our body. The disrespect that we place on ourselves when we go about pleasing is nasty — and it’s also rife! We have been so accustomed ever since being young to be polite and nice — and whereas there’s nothing wrong with polite as such, the message most of us got was that it’s more important to display politeness than our true feelings. Letting ourselves be real, humble and honest in all facets of our life is so self-loving and a very inspiring reflection for everyone around us as well.
Gyl I totally relate to what you have shared and how this stops us from being truly loving as to manipulate and hold back for all sorts of seemingly good reasons is just living a contracted small life. Just yesterday I shared what I felt and it lead to a much greater expression being shared by the other person which lead to greater understanding. This in self care and love.
“I found that I have a fair amount of resistance to bringing self-love into my life”. This is something I have felt also. I can see how once I discovered one area of disregard I’ve been living in, there’s another one one I’m hiding from myself. I can see my resistance to seeing it so I don’t have to feel it.
I wonder if it is actually our resistance we feel or a learned behaviour, as we all want joy and love in our life so why would we have a resistance to making choices that result in it. Maybe this learned way is so familiar we follow it before we give ourselves a chance to REALLY feel what it is we want??
Futile arguments or willing allegiance to a great ally – our bodies – love it, Gyl, thank you.
I love how you have written this, Elizabeth – no regrets or guilt about choices past but an openness to learn and change – thank you.
Changing some of my ingrained habits has been a bit like turning an oil tanker, it takes a while and a lot of focus and commitment, but once the course is reset things really start to flow. I have wondered along the way how I will manage all the attention to detail but of course the new choices to take care of myself become, in quite a short space of time, my new normal…creating space for the next development. A super accessible article about the power of our everyday choices, thank you, Heather.
I smile – as consistently the way I think things will work out, isn’t what happens, yet still I can go into thinking so easily instead of trusting that my body does know what to do…in its own way as you write Matilda continuously creates new normals.
I can really relate to this blog Heather. Being hard on myself does stop me from feeling. After spending a lifetime not practising self-love I am finding I have to make a conscious choice to change my ways. Every self-loving act increases my awareness and I feel more.
Yes Bernard, love keeps building, the more we commit and dedicate ourselves to being loving and caring the deeper this love keeps going. And we’ll forever be riding pockets, ever so tiny at times where we can bring more love and understanding with ourselves and with others. It’s the most beautiful journey to be on 🙂
There are many things we do because we have deemed them normal, like drinking alcohol or eating diary, or going on holidays, now these are more obvious ones but what I know is that most things I was doing was because I thought it was normal according to societies standard.I have stopped many of these so called “normal” ways and am doing things from listening to my self, many people now see me as”abnomal” where as I regard myself as being normal in a real way.
Great point Mary-Louise. There are many behaviours, less obvious than the ones you’ve named, that we have because of what is ‘normal’ by societies standards… These actions and ways of life are silently crippling, and overtime the behaviours try to dilute our true self and stop us from having a strong connection with our body. It’s super important that we call these behaviours out, as Heather has done in her blog and you have in your comment. Then in no way do they have the same hold on us!
There days the ‘check in’ is just so natural it’s like breathing. It’s such a lovely way to live, always assessing and connecting to keep myself on track. I couldn’t live any other way.
I agree Matthew ,it is such an awesome way to live with the knowingness that we are in control of the quality of our beingness at any time.
Its almost like magic, when you really respct and take care of yourself your whole life changes for the better. Its like everything around you reconfigures to mirror the self love you have for yourself
A few years ago self love and self caring was certainly not a part of my every day living – I only connected to my body if I had a 3 day migraine, or laid out with a bad back or a very sensitive digestive system basically, not performing in a way for me to keep working – a constant in my life was a hot bath at the end of the day. That was not self loving at all living with a constant ‘push’ to keep going with a ‘no matter what’ attitude. This has considerably changed since I attended presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine also attending the amazing Women’s presentations offered by Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams. Yes I’m finally learning to respect my body and what a difference – so thank you Heather for this awesome blog reminding me of what a difference it makes to choose to feel and listen and respect my body and what amazing changes this can bring.
It’s quite amazing that so many people, like myself, lived in a way that didn’t treasure or look after our bodies. I remember “thinking” what a hindrance my body is and that I have many things to create or do that I can’t if I get sick or tired. Now I see my body as a blessing, as something to value and to treasure as with this care I feel what life is truly about. That it’s not about accumulating, looking the best or doing the most things but about the quality of my being.