Recently I had a really sore throat, making it very painful to talk. I realised being unable to talk was actually a blessing as it revealed something about the way I talk and my unique expression that I have been struggling with for years.
I saw how there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside. I have noticed my voice can feel harsh as I speak and then I can sound insensitive or judgemental, which leaves me feeling bewildered because of this inconsistency.
During this sore throat episode I had an esoteric connective tissue therapy treatment. In this session, I pondered on my way of expressing and the lack of gentleness coming through my voice.
When I hear harshness in my own voice, is it because I am trying to make it sound like someone else’s, and in that moment I don’t actually know what my own voice naturally sounds like?
I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.
I was listening to everyone else’s expression and how they talked, then choosing to compare myself to them, and consequently being hard and judgmental on myself, and everyone else.
During my connective tissue session, an image came to me of diverse, magnificently coloured corals growing under crystal clear waters. My insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way.
I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.
I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.
I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.
by Suzanne Anderssen
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression
“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People
Am I Allowed to be this? Finding a Balance in True Expression