When I was a kid we were often told: “Respect your Elders!” Back then, respect was ‘earned’ by what you did, so this demand to respect elders by the standard of the day was to me a contradiction. I could appreciate the principle, but was constantly frustrated about having to respect people who were making choices and behaving in self-degrading or abusive ways that did not meet up to my own principles.
At the time I remember wondering, “Why should I respect people who got drunk, killed themselves with barbiturates, smoked cigarettes, lived on junk food, beat their wives, dumped anger and judgment on others, gossiped, cheated, lied, tried to be someone else…?” Of course every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age.
The elders I was told to respect were not role models that I aspired to become, or to look up to, in my growing years. It made me question where were the Elder role models that glow with the grace, wisdom, poise and responsibility that can come from age?
I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.
And it is certainly true that ageing people who do not accept themselves for who they are, are less likely to embrace the wisdom and service they can bring as they age to become true role models. When they try to look artificially young in spite of the inevitable physical progress of ageing, they are (consciously or unconsciously) sending a poor message to younger people. A message that says:
- I’m not good enough
- Ageing is awful and to be avoided
- My self-esteem comes from how I look
- You have to fit in to the ideal of youthfulness or you’re nothing
- I wish I were still youthful like you, etc.
All this does is help spawn yet another generation who will feel pressured to do the same – clinging to youthful appearance and behaviours, acting irresponsibly, feeling less and less worthy based on their looks, sexuality and physical abilities, dreading illness and death, and being fearful of losing whatever youthfulness they have.
This non self-respecting behaviour by elders leaves younger people adrift in misconceptions and confusion about growing older and our changing roles throughout our lives.
Having said that, society goes to quite a lot of effort to keep elders down, feeling lesser, and trying to meet the youthful ideals. For example, there is a growing trend in women’s magazines of profiling the ‘sexy’ older woman in the same stereotyped style of modelling, photography and dress as for young women. Society’s message: keep conforming to ‘youth looks’ for as long as you can or you’re not beautiful or acceptable being old! Dye your hair, plaster on makeup, lift up those breasts, hide the sags, exude sexuality, and emphasize your body…. This is degrading enough for young women – imagine how older women truly feel about it?
Many of our elders have allowed themselves to be degraded and disregarded by the culture of youth worship, to the great detriment of society.
Why do we accept this degradation of the aging process? Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity? Oh boy, there would be a big shakeup of the status quo! The population would wake up to the lie that many of us have been living… and there are vested interests that would not like that, eg. the plastic surgery and cosmetics industries!
Not only elders are targeted by plastic surgery, cosmetic advertising, fashion and health magazines, etc, but younger people are too – with the pressure to “never look older no matter what,” until the maintenance of youthful appearance becomes a habit or even an addiction.
What would happen if the cosmetic services were all taken away – how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living? Gone would be the artificial surface ‘beauty’. The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up.
It would be scary to let go of our ‘youth props’ and be exposed, vulnerable and seen as we really are: we would then have to derive our self-worth from our innermost instead of our outermost. For many, that change could be quite difficult and challenging. But what if, instead, we elders took responsibility for claiming our ageing beauty and wisdom as role models?
For myself, having always enjoyed my body, been very athletic, physically powerful and capable of doing just about anything, it is hard accepting the physical decline that comes with age. I know, I’ve been going through that, and am not entirely ‘out of the woods’ yet. It is difficult to let go and learn to be much more gentle and conscious of one’s body, no longer driving it, striving to achieve and experience like we once did. What I have learned is that refusal to accept the flow of nature comes with consequences – painful ones!
For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm. I do whatever I can to naturally support my body with nourishment and nurturing so it can be as well as it can and the inner wellbeing can show on the outside as my natural beauty.
I refuse to go the cosmetic surgery route, and won’t even dye my hair. When/if it ever goes grey it will be just as beautiful, and it will be my ‘badge of maturity’! That’s my choice of course; everyone is free to choose their colours and styles for self-expression. Maybe one day I’ll go violet and turquoise stripes just for fun, who knows!
Notwithstanding the, at times, frustrating aspects of an ageing body with its aches, pains and stiffness, I realise there are many great benefits of these increasing physical limitations of ageing – for there are no other limitations! This decline in physical abilities changes the focus on how I am living and what I now value more in discovering the real benefits of my elder years.
I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.
It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.
This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.
by Dianne Trussell.
Further Reading:
Sex Appeal of Beautiful Mature Women – What Exactly Does That Look Like?!
Something that stood out to me was, ‘what would happen if the cosmetics services were all taken away’? That is is an interesting question, not only for the beauty industry but if other industries we rely or take for granted, were taken away too?
Whilst we’re going through a period of hysteria in the world with COVID-19 upon us. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, statistics here and there, what truth is being fed to humanity, if any.
The services that are allowed to continue and the services the aren’t is an interesting one too. One hairdresser made a comment to me that her customers were sending her pictures and messages of missing them. Their headline? Hairy and scary! It was hilarious to her, but it made me realise what extremes we had taken our bodies to in the name of beauty and vanity.
So Dianne you have bought some things for many of us to ponder about, and ageing is about becoming an elder and giving back to the community instead of vegetating till the breath is no longer there.
There was contradiction in many things we were told as we grew up, like respect your elders, and then in the next breath that respect has to be earned. I agree respect has to be earned rather than blindly respecting someone regardless, and, when who knows what they get up to in their private time?
I too grew up having to respect many people not just the elderly. Yet I knew deep down inside I didn’t want to and I came across as the awkward one. Respect is something that is felt and earnt and imposing upon another well just don’t cut it for me anymore. People can feel that integrity, it is that simple.
The elders that I see in the hospital where I work are beaten down and worn out by the lives they have lived. I wonder why we have accepted this way of living where life has just been one long struggle from start to finish, where the elders look back on life and wish they had made different choices. They can actually pin point where they could have made a different choice but chose not to for whatever reason. One lady shared that she chose as a husband a from the British Army rather than the Captain of a submarine and she wondered to me how different her life would or could have been which showed me that there was an underlying sadness that she had about the life she had chosen out of security rather than what her heart was telling her. But how many of us have made those choices from a sense of needing or wanting security above everything else.
Diane, I love your honesty here and it is so beautiful to read that this is always a process for us all, and one to be respected and supported with: “For myself, having always enjoyed my body, been very athletic, physically powerful and capable of doing just about anything, it is hard accepting the physical decline that comes with age. I know, I’ve been going through that, and am not entirely ‘out of the woods’ yet. It is difficult to let go and learn to be much more gentle and conscious of one’s body, no longer driving it, striving to achieve and experience like we once did. What I have learned is that refusal to accept the flow of nature comes with consequences – painful ones!”
No matter our age we are all role models. but there is something very re-assuring when we have a true elder amongst us – one who has learned from life and experiences and made choices that are far more supportive and self loving, and someone we can look at and be inspired by as we too grow up and age, inevitably so.
True elders have much to contribute to society, ‘I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’
Being an elder is not dependant on age, I know someone who is relatively young, compared to me, and they bring much elder energy to the community.
In a nutshell, Diane, so beautifully said: “An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.”
‘Youth worship’ is just a poor excuse for our waywardness, utterly devoid of the fact that we have been here many times over.
‘You are not good enough,’ ‘This is how you should be’ is the constant message we get all life, and in this plane of life where it is all about image, the deterioration of physical appearance and capability is something we would want to avoid at all cost, as that would make us feel like we are becoming useless in our society. It is a sad but inevitable consequence of choosing to live our life trying to fit in to society’s terms and conditions and find value in being validated by it.
It would be very hard to all of a sudden accept and embrace our elder years if we have been battling against ourselves all our lives with no true connection. In fact, having gone around in circle so many times already, we actually do have the maturity of wisdom regardless of age. If we are able to understand and appreciate the truth of reincarnation, the way we look at our elder years would be totally different.
“living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.” A role model for all, young, not so young and older.
I was always very fond of both my grandmothers, they are now long gone. As a child there was something very special about having a week’s holiday with Nan. We got to share the week together, me tagging along, having trips on the ferry or the gardens or in the kitchen cooking together. These were very formative relationships for me and formative in how I treat elders in my community now and those in my care when I work. I really do enjoy the company of people older than myself as well as younger, they both bring very different things.
It is true every person should be respected and treated as an equal. I know of people in their 70’s and 80’s that have such a spark of life, joy and vitality that this has confirmed to me age it just a number it is how we live from within that counts and of course our true elder energy and true elder role models should definitely be both appreciated and celebrated for what they have to offer is absolute gold.
I love being around the elders in our community, they have so much wisdom and lived experiences to share and inspire us with.
What I feel very strongly reading this is how we can live with delicateness and grace and that aging for many introduces this as a necessity but in fact we can do this at any stage, and how great to see our elders living in this way and reminding us that we too can live this now, no matter what our age.
When we live with delicateness and grace through our lives we naturally live that whatever our age.
Respect your elders? What if true respect is not to bow down and kiss the feet of the elders but treat them as an equal? What if true respect is not to feel sorry for them because they’re old, but feel the power and wisdom of their lived experience? What if respecting our elders is simply to treat them the way we would treat any other human being, with integrity and care?
Respect is about not trying to put yourself over someone else. Respect is not a synonym of being willing to learn though. We may be utterly respectful but totally closed to a person. So, it is not about positioning. It is about learning. It is about reflection.
I agree Eduardo and respect is not something you can be ‘made’ to do. Not true respect this instead comes from and innate and natural impulse within.
When not accepting and living life from the place of who we truly are, the very thought of accepting and living who we are seems like the least attractive option of all because we do know in truth there’s more to life, and more to be lived, so ‘accepting’ feels like giving up or settling for less, so the battle and resistance continues.
Denying the course of nature is to deny ourselves our natural expression. The older I get the more I embrace myself as a woman and I would never have thought that possible. I feel my responsibility is to be a role model without needing anyone to notice or change.
So gorgeously shared Lucy – I too find that it is my relationship with myself that has deepened and in this no matter my age, I am far more loving with myself as well as those around me. And at the same time I am very aware of the age factor and how it is about working with the body and how we are with it and fine-tuning this and learning to embrace each step as it comes our way. This is what being a role model is about – it is not about controlling things but embracing what comes our way and working with this gracefully.
I am blessed to be surrounded by some true elders in the community such as yourself Diane, that are leading the way and showing the world how joyful ageing can be.
When we don’t appreciate and respect ourselves and our bodies we will always fail to have a foundation to grow from so we can master our imperfections.
Looking in fashion magazines to choose how we should look takes us away from seeing in the mirror all the strength and beauty of an elder woman who knows who she is.
Ageing brings a lot onto the table to consider. Although many things change over time, the beauty of ageing is that it also allows to reflect again upon what is that we bring into this world and what are we capable of deliver and the extent to which our delivery comes from the usual angle or from a new one.
I love the ripple affect of when one person claims themselves and the quality that they bring to the world, then inspires another to feel what they also bring. I shared this with a woman yesterday and today she shared that this blog has completely changed her life and how she sees getting older and the responsibility she has to not hide away.
This has been truly a gift to read and be reminded of today. Before reading this, a lady and I were talking about this very subject and how at times it grips us negatively about growing older and how many pictures pull us out. Yet as soon as we look at what we appreciate about being this age and what we are learning then we are left to feel what we bring to others at this time. I love this line, “But what if, instead, we elders took responsibility for claiming our ageing beauty and wisdom as role models?” so needed.
Thank you Dianne, this is a great article to read periodically. I love the way you express your wisdom and encourage us to do the same as we age.
How beautiful and nurturing to see the increasing physical limitations of an ageing body as an opportunity to explore our deeper qualities and embrace the wisdom we so naturally hold within.
‘An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’ What a powerful, unequivocal definition! I appreciate the expectation of standard and quality it sets, below which anything else is possibly an outcome of adulation from another based on glamour or comparison that then begets the ‘Me Too’ mentality so prevalent in our society. Being a role model isn’t a doing. It’s living a quality that others notice and from there are inspired to choose to want to adopt or adapt into their own way of living and of being.
It totally breaks any illusion of what we thought that elderly role models are or should look like. Till this very day it has been portrayed by a few if not many — that elderly is about getting older and loosing the vitality (and all things once had) but in fact this all is a big fat lie — being elder is a very absolute given and example for all the youngster to come to their ages. Once we see that as an elder and younger person, we will come to appreciate our roles more (truly) and benefit from each other. Our world will change from there onwards. Let alone all the loneliness in our society will take away.
I love what you have written Dianne, it is very refreshing to read from an elder woman. Deeply inspiring for young and old, you shine forth the way of the future for all of us…
Learning to live with and accept the increasing decline of strength of our physical body as we age can be challenging at times; whereas allowing ourselves to just surrender to our fragility and tenderness really helps with the process.
As you say Dianne to ‘work’ on your inner beauty young or old will transform your ‘outer’ beauty. You will be happy or better still have a marked Joy because you feel well , vital and healthy; and this can be at any age.
“It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.” I love the way you described the surrendering to the soul Dianne. When we live like that we will only see the beauty that emanates from within and will be in appreciation of that what we have lived so far.
Everyone is growing older every day, that is a fact. I am learning to understand my body more, and in growing older there is much more acceptance that sometimes I will feel different from when I am younger. It is all related to choices. Accepting myself growing older I find there is a responsibility every day, this cannot be compared to anyone else, but it is a deepening relationship with myself.
Indeed Adele, it is that deepening of the relationship with ourselves that will make us to accept and appreciate that our body is becoming older, every day we live. And with that we will understand that while we were young we thought we were invincible but life teaches us that we actually are not in charge and that we have to surrender to a greater cycle that is not in our hands.
I deeply cherish the space and steadiness I feel within myself since being in my forties. I also recognise that it’s not in ageing that this comes to us. Living with our elder energy is a choice that can be made at any age.
I have also found in my forties more of a settlement and solidness in myself. As you say, I could have chosen to live and express from elder energy a lot sooner.
I love the true call to how we can all be role models in this world and the call to support our elders to be themselves.
Ever since I was young I always held a great love and joy when in the company of elders. We can learn and understand much of the world when we listen and embrace the wisdom shared by elders and their life experiences. Thank you Dianne I simply love this blog.
Getting older is indeed deeply covered with false pictures, that it is not something to aspire to, that it is a time for indulging in food, alcohol and holidays or throw yourself into voluntary work! Yet there is so much more to getting older and it does come from a feeling of being deeply content in ourselves and knowing what an important reflection of love and joy we can be in the later days of our life.
It’s a great point Doug, the term “respect your elders” shouldn’t be used for entitlement or to excuse behaviour. Really, respect needs to be across the board and for all age groups. “Respect yourself and all others equally” would be a much better foundation to start with.
It’s crazy, not only do we not value people for who they are but we don’t value specific age groups. For example we might be dismissive of children or elders based on their age, when their reflection and all they have to offer is equally important. It’s astonishing how many ways we diminish other human beings. Equality is so simple, love and value everyone unconditionally.
Dianne this was great to read again. We have made life so focused on the physical experience, sensual pleasures and body image etc, instead of the glorious being that’s on the inside. What I have noticed with elders living joyfully is that they bring such strong values, such as respect and decency, and they feel super solid in themselves as they have a loving relationship with who they are. An elders wisdom is very practical as it’s born from a lifetime of learning and observation.
When we can accept that we are Souls living in a physical body and in that expressing the divine in everything we are there is no need to look to any image that is presented to us in any way, shape or form for we are just us, shining our divine light in and through everything that we do.
Acceptance of who we are is important whatever stage of life we are in, it certainly helps in our elder years,
‘I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’
We cannot underestimate the importance of being a role model in society – good or bad – we are being watched and clocked by eyes that are influenced by how we are… so we have great responsibility constantly.
Sure Rachael, it is so important to live to the truth of our being and to not compromise in that as when we do we only add to the common behaviour that is all around but do not bring that unique spark of God that lives in all of us and is asked to be lived in full.
Acceptance is forever needed whatever stage we are at in our lives, and honouring what our body is saying to us at each and every moment, ‘For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm.’
Yes very inspiring Dianne, there are so many people in the community who are now reflecting what a true elder is and what it means to grow old gracefully, with love, commitment still to life no matter what age you are.
Beautiful sharing Dianne truly inspirational, as so many men and women are in the Esoteric Community, often as a result looking and feeling younger every time I see them! It is an amazing legacy to be living for all.
Diane, reading your blog was like a breath of fresh air. What a wonderful way to see and embrace aging. Our young people certainly need to see role models like you living in the world truly enjoying their elder years.
‘until the maintenance of youthful appearance becomes a habit or even an addiction’, and sadly for so many this holding onto youthful looks as long as possible is a great distraction from aging with grace and claiming the wisdom that is there to be shared with the younger generation.
We call it ‘ageing’ but really it is just a consequence of choices made previously, just like everything else in life. By calling it ‘ageing’ we might like to think we can avoid how it appears, but it is what it is and it is that falseness that gives us the pang as we refuse to embrace it and come face to face with the responsibility/power that we can claim.
Yes and this wisdom that can influence and empower at any age. We are made up of a series of movements that we have made, on some level we have chosen, therefore, how we age is fully in our hands. From birth to passing over.
It makes me smile to think of world famous actresses who are now in the their 70’s and still having a nip here and tuck there… holding on tight to the culture of youth in the hope that they can take it to the grave. They miss out on so much and equally it absolutely limits what they have to offer. All that experience and wisdom – such a shame when we do not share it.
“I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.” This way of being is something I am coming to appreciate in my elder years is a way that one does not have to wait untlil one is elderly to live and so, as an elder, is a wisdom that I endeavour to pass on to others younger than me.
Diane what you share in this blog is very beautiful and such deep wisdom on how to embrace and appreciate the elder years – so inspiring and supportive for everyone to read.
There is so much in this blog that you have shared with us all Dianne and is an awesome imprint of how it can truly be when we enter our elder years, taking away all the falseness and misconceptions and lies about ageing….. And a timely reminder of the responsibility we each have as a role model for the younger generation.
Dianne you cover a great subject here, ageing and becoming an elder role model for others is an opportunity for many of us to embrace rather than declining into some invisible state, we have wisdom and lived experience that we are able to share, and the more we live and appreciate ourselves the easier it is for others to accept that we do hold great knowledge and wisdom that is available to all.
Learning to live gracefully and not being afraid to express the wisdom of what we can feel, rather than what we think we should say… a blueprint for growing older with more love, acceptance and connection. I recently met a couple of 72-year old women who absolutely embodied this. They said they rarely felt anxious, and felt joyful about themselves and about life, having realised that it wasn’t about the doing or what you look like, but living and not holding back who you actually, really, are.
Thank you for your comment Bryony, there is such a simplicity to what you share here, to release ourselves from the shackles of a worth based on what we do or how we look, to valuing who we are and not holding that back.
We put so much work and focus to the physical that when and if it declines we judge peoples worth on it. Almost like you are really a member of society unless you can physically do this or that. So as people age we give them a physical worth and if they end up in a retirement village or similar then this is seen as a burden at times on society. What is the true value of a person though? The mere physical alone? Or is there a value that we constantly overlook because we don’t appreciate it ourselves. Start to look at people and appreciate who they are and not only see what they can do and do the same for ourselves. That way when it comes to ageing or anything you will see the person first and not just a shell that can do something.
There is no doubt that the world needs more elders that claim their true beauty, wisdom and power and reflect to the younger generations what is possible to live…. for the world appears consumed with the surface but it is done so at the expense of the wealth we possess beneath.
Well described Dianne – the physical changes in our bodies – the stiffness and aches are a great indicator to become more aware of our bodies and how we are truly caring for ourselves. There comes a point when the body speaks so loud we can choose not to over ride it any more. This is part of the wisdom of appreciating who we are and where we are at, and reflecting on past choices that have lead us to this moment. For me there are some things that I know from deep with-in I’d never choose again. Just living this truth can reflect to others, with out even a word being said.
It’s true that there really are not many older role models, imagine an older generation that took amazing care of themselves, treated themselves with self-respect, knew they had amazing wisdom that had to be shared, maybe the younger generation would stop fearing getting old and start embracing the passage of life more.
Working in the fashion and image industry, we are an industry that upholds youth and beauty at all costs. Resisting and reacting towards this untruth of solely focusing on our external appearance, I have chosen every such possible way to be as far from caring for my physical and superficial beauty, to come back to an understanding that there cannot be any reaction in love. When I truly feel the deep love I am held in by the Divine, this is the same depth of love I can live and give back to myself. When I truly am being Love and choosing Love, there is an equal devotion and care towards what is within myself and externally no matter my age or circumstance.
“I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.” This is beautiful Dianne. Surrendering gracefully in one’s elder years has reduced nearly all of the dramas of my life – that all seemed so important in my youth. Letting go of attachments – a huge one for many people.
One thing I am really starting to realise is that people who are presently or have taken ‘barbiturates, smoked cigarettes, lived on junk food, beat their wives, dumped anger and judgment on others, gossiped, cheated, lied…’ do so because they have unresolved hurts that they are trying to numb, bury or otherwise quieten.
The world would not be in the mess it is today if we had not forgotten the power and grace of elder role models. A woman in celebration of her elder energy, embodying the elder wisdom that she simply is for she never needs to try is incredibly powerful, and very much needed everywhere.
It’s no wonder we were told to ‘respect our elders’. In this way of telling it already turns you off that very thing in a certain way. Almost like we set it up ourselves in how we go about life that then turns us away from the very point we need to look at and for. Growing physically old is no right of passage for respect but more living in a way that holds true to a feeling then pulls things and people to you looking at the feeling you are holding. We have created a society that does all manner of things to people at all ages and points of life and the ageing and elderly are no different. We look down at them and equally they have a look of their own that attracts that look. In other words we all have a responsibility in how we are with everything, it’s easy to say but now the action of that talk is the key.
The value that ageing brings to our societies is not appreciated for what it so naturally can bring. Our societies are geared for going fast, acting quickly and irresponsible, inventing the wheel for the nth time again, completely ignoring the lived experience and natural pace that the elder people are bringing to life and naturally could offer to our societies.
It feels so beautiful to consider the fact that it is actually not about our bodies look having to match a certain image but it is about that inner quality of our being that emanates through it in all that we are and in everything that we do. And ageing is in fact presenting this to us as it is the body that ages but that what lives within stays forever young vital and very playful.
Thanks Nico, you really made me smile, that is a beautiful comment.
What a beautifully claiming of the elder cycle of life you offer in this blog Dianne. I agree with you in full, since beginning to feel more deeply connected to my body, there is a natural wanting to re-claim myself in full once more and continue to inspire others from simply being myself.
“This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to”.
As I grow older I understand the influence I can have on other people. It is not what I say but how I am in the world that makes a difference. That takes responsibility to a whole new level.
Universal Medicine has supported me to take this level of responsibility to a even deeper level. Even our thoughts and intentions are important.
I feel If everyone would take self-responsibility to that level, there would be no need for laws, police, and army’s.
Is it possible that this is the power that every individual has and is afraid to admit to themselves, because then they will have accept there irresponsibility, and take an honest look at what effect they have had on the world?
Hi Ken, this is a great comment, the truth about self responsibility is really emphasised by your words on how we would not need laws, police or armies if we all went to this level. You have also reminded me that even though I might not be a criminal for example, there is still greater self responsibility to be lived, especially if we peel it back to intentions and thoughts.
A very powerful comment Ken, and I agree – most of us may well be more fearful of our own power and capacity to step up and take responsibility than we realise. What a way to change the world though!
This makes very inspiring reading Dianne bring true responsibility to how we age and ow we are living and our purpose in society at all ages. “I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” Beautiful
I’m now considered, by age, to be an elder myself, and also relate to many people twenty thirty years older than myself. It is curious to note the difference between elders who wear their elder status with grace and dignity and those who wear it with discomfort or regret and seem stuck in the more restrictive paradigm of older ageing.
Hello Dianne and it’s great to speak about ‘respecting your elders’ in a different way. As we are seeing ‘elder’ is a quality that is held not by age alone but as I said by a quality of the way you are. How do you see yourself in relationships and life? Are you waiting for a perfect time to share what you are feeling or are in it ready for where you are to share everything. Each moment in our day is an opportunity to share all you know, all you feel and all you see. This quality does change from moment to moment but the dedication is the same, to how things feel. The more we dedicate to the quality of how things feel, the more of the same that is available or that we become aware of.
‘Each moment in our day is an opportunity to share all you know, all you feel and all you see’. I love this Ray, this way of being is open to us all regardless of age.
I agree we often believe that we need to be a certain age or be in a certain place before we are allowed to be. We wait for this perfect storm or age and it never comes, always an excuse is offered or a reason to justify our silence. Every moment is an opportunity or a choice to share what you are feeling and have the transparency to allow others to see into our world.
Poise, grace and wisdom of our elders feels so majestic to me that I wonder how we ever got so lost in the glorification of youth.
Like you share Dianne, there have been elder folk in my life that have not presented a way of living to respect.
However, there have also been some amazing elder people in my life. People who have held the care of others deeply in their hearts and also have had no fear of saying it how it is, not with a need to be known, but with the presentation of fact from what they have encountered in their lives. Elders for whom my respect was held, with no asking, as it was present in how they respected themselves.
“I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.”
Dianne your words here are ones that I take with me, deeply feel, connect with and live by as I to enter into my elder years. Thank you.
What becomes very clear when reading this is that we are role models all the time and how pertinent it is to be aware of it and take the responsibility that comes with it. In everything we do and the way we are we say this is the way life is lived, so we are always contributing to how the world and our systems are.
It is ever-inspiring to meet an elder who walks with settlement, knowing that the quality of who they are within is immeasurable and unchanging, from which an infinite well of wisdom and beauty is embraced. This reflection offers all equally, young and old, the opportunity and freedom to discover the Soulfull-ness of life that can be lived by us all.
To embrace wisdom and grace at any age but especially as we get older is amazing and very much needed in our world today for all of us, young and old.
If, at any age, we do not respect ourselves then how can we expect others to respect us? True elder energy develops the knowledge of experience into lived wisdom.
Aging does indeed offer us the possibility of looking beyond the physical, and in fact having to slow down as is often the case with age, allows us to bring more quality into how we are and how we move, and this is something to be welcomed – to have the time and space to develop and live from within us more and express those qualities out in the world is something I look forward to embracing as part of my aging process.
Dianne, what a gorgeous sharing and a real expose of how we sanctify youth and vilify age to the detriment of both. I love how you are approaching and appreciating your aging and in particular this line ‘I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully’ is a beautiful celebration of the joy of connecting within and how we can embrace what each age offers us. There is so much learning and it’s at every age, and what I feel is offered as we get older is an invitation to surrender into us, to live the wisdom we all innately have in us, and this is something that is badly needed in our societies today – as an analogy image that we only had 2 seasons spring and 3/4’s of summer, with no autumn or winter – that’s how we live now, celebrating spring and summer and denying autumn and winter and like the seasons each age has it’s beauty and learning.
“I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” – this is beautiful Diane, and really captures the essence of a role model. A role model is not about being perfect nor of having led a life of perfection, rather is it about having learned from ‘mistakes’ and now choosing to live in a way that is far more respectful and caring and honouring of self and hence all those around us. Thanks Diane for this amazing blog that is helping bring back an understanding of what and who are the true elderly role models.
The human body may start to wear out as we age in years but when we truly appreciate ourselves and stay committed to life in full there is a grace and wisdom that can emanate from us as we mature that people really do feel.
‘ every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age’. No it dosent, and if we allow people to be irresponsible especially those we live with, this just feels a dis-regard to ourselves.
‘ I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others’. This is also my process…. and the more I let go, the more space I create to allow and express my elder energy.
Beautifully claimed Dianne. I too am finding incredible beauty in embracing the ageing process. I am loving myself and appreciating my body more than I did in my youth, and absolutely delighting in the depth of wisdom, patience and understanding that I can bring. Embracing the ageing process and allowing the space to explore my innermost being is the greatest gift I can offer to others.
This is great, and is what true elders can bring, support of the younger generation by showing that becoming older is not becoming less. I feel it is amazing to feel – in every year we get older – we grow, and we can truly support the younger generation. Even as I am considered young myself, those going through periods in life I have passed I can truly support by my living way.
Ageing gracefully has always been a fascination for me – what will I be like when it happens to me, will I want to dye my hair or won’t I? Will I do it for me or for others? I can have all the plans in the world, but I would be living to a picture of what I think getting old is going to look like. I have been on the look out for these pictures ever since I became aware of them and blasting them out! With baby steps I am embracing the daily changes, large and small of getting older. Thank you for reminding me Dianne, as I have taken a moment to write a comment, it has been great to connect to what I actually feel about ageing and how I feel about that process in my body.
It is very hard to respect someone who tells you to respect them from a place of power or control. You may obey them out of fear or habit but respect – no.
I can understand why we often resist certain associations with words because what we see and experience doesn’t match up to the true meaning of the word. This is certainly true of the word ”Elder’ and one which I didn’t have high regard for either up until a few years ago. Having had the inspiring experience of some true Elder role models such as Natalie Benhayon (which busted my myth totally that Elder had to do with age), I have begun to appreciate what being a true Elder is, and now in my 50s, beginning to embrace this as a role model I can also be.
‘This non self-respecting behaviour by elders leaves younger people adrift in misconceptions and confusion about growing older and our changing roles throughout our lives.’ This sentence goes right to the epicentre of the issue. In the process of our own ageing and coming to terms with what that truly means and represents, we become increasingly responsible for the imprint we leave behind on the next generation. So our lived example today reflects the lived quality that will arise and play out in subsequent generations.
As children we are elders in the making, so responsibility is never without us contributing to what life will look like when it is our turn to hold the mantle of elder years.
Dianne thank you for such a gorgeous blog raising some great points about claiming the elder energy for others to be inspired by. There is so much emphasis on being young and how not to age these days which goes against the cycle we all will naturally come to. Your elder energy and deep wisdom is appreciated in this blog, and this is just one of your many gems worth repeating -‘This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.’
This is truly beautiful to read, as that is what will be truly inspiring younger people like me, elders have a great sense and understanding of life, but what is so often portrayed that life is only about being young. If that was the case, we probably wouldn’t age like we do.. It is a natural cycle which is truly beautiful when fully accepted.
‘And it is certainly true that ageing people who do not accept themselves for who they are, are less likely to embrace the wisdom and service they can bring as they age to become true role models.’ I agree Dianne, I am 55 years old and am starting to embrace the fact I am an elder woman, I must say I find myself more beautiful than when I was younger. Accepting the cycles of life is definitely very powerful, accepting the wisdom that comes with ageing comes with the responsibility of being a support for younger people and elder people too, to show them there is another way of ageing.
Diane, I love your examinations. This is such a powerful blog. One that should be in the mainstream press for all to read! Have you considered sending it into one of those sections of the paper where people share personal stories/ viewpoints?”
“What would happen if the cosmetic services were all taken away – how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living? Gone would be the artificial surface ‘beauty’. The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up.
It would be scary to let go of our ‘youth props’ and be exposed, vulnerable and seen as we really are: we would then have to derive our self-worth from our innermost instead of our outermost. For many, that change could be quite difficult and challenging.
And the beauty, power and reclamation of ” what if, instead, we elders took responsibility for claiming our ageing beauty and wisdom as role models?”
I’m looking forward to grey hair too, and am waiting for it to reach some critical mass! There can be a lovely softness in grey hair. Though the other day I did see a older, otherwise slightly unfashionable lady with a walking frame sporting a very ‘on-trend’ mohawk in a fetching shade of pale blue. What a strange juxtaposition it was. It felt like someone younger had talked her into it… and not necessarily honouring of who she was.
This great article is jam-packed with all sorts of excellent points. First up, it has reminded me of the quote of some famous wit: ‘Youth is wasted on the young’. I’ve often reflected on that notion and it seems it smacks simultaneously of wistfulness (of opportunities missed and a large chunk of life potentially wasted), a tinge of jealousy, and a genuine exasperation with the fact that young people can indeed take their youthfulness for granted and or extend a particularly youthful phase a little too long. And then we glamourise it, often chasing youth well past the time we should, as pointed out here. What a strange relationship we have with youth! As Dianne’s article illustrates, we need to honour each and every phase of life in its fullness.
Dianne, this is so beautiful and inspiring. It felt to me the opportunity at any age to embrace our bodies and not succumb to the chaos of the world. The younger we do this, the more support our body can have moving into our older or Elder years. Many resist this movement and the changes that come about in the physical body. As a society we are yet to truly embrace listening to the wisdom of our bodies, as opposed to continuing on with whatever activity we like no matter what. Inspirational role models like you Dianne are very much needed. Thank you for this amazing piece of writing.
I love this article Dianne, you are living as a true role model in the elder energy which is a glorious reflection for people of any age to see and feel. Sharing this elder energy is a responsibility which has much value all around.
“This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.” Yes reading your blog Dianne made me feel inspired that all you described above can be done at any age. Connecting more deeply with myself and my soul is something worthwhile doing at any age.
I agree Lieke, and this is the effect of True role models – reflection for those at any age to learn from.
Being wise and sharing our innate wisdom is ageless.
I have often heard older people say they still ‘feel’ young on the inside but not physically able. The inner youthfulness that is felt, is the eternal ageless being that lives within. This is a fantastic reflection or marker when you have a body that is no longer youthful or capable of youthful actions. Much awareness can be felt from this relationship and can be so valuable in sharing with children and young adults.
What a tremendous piece of writing Dianne – thank you.
What has become clear to me as we read this blog is that humanity at large does not understand what life is all about, and struggles with so many things that the question has to be asked “do we truly know what we are doing?” We have youth issues, we have elder issues, we have middle age issues, we have violence, we have reality tv etc that is maintaining a current pattern of life. But what if there is no truth in any of it, and the quality we miss that we had when we were born, the quality of love, preciousness, stillness and warmth is what life is truly about?
We are a society enamoured by the search for eternal youth, and yet every day we are confronted by the fact that this is not the reality of life – a glaring truth that we seem unwilling to accept.Plastic Surgery is exploding as the world clings to the ideal of youth. Meanwhile we miss out on the grace of the ageing process – and it can be graceful, if we learn to accept the grace of our own being. All of us age in time, at least in terms of our physical appearance. And all of us will die at some point. Indeed, as I understand it, over 6 billion people will die over the next 70 years. A world epidemic it would seem. Best we come to terms with these eventualities and learn to appreciate them for what they are.
“I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” Absolutely, Dianne, to really live their wisdom and grace is what is necessary for an older person to be regarded as a true elder. What a shame that so many older people in our society seem to act like rebellious teenagers, unwilling to take responsibility for their actions and choices. And such a shame also, as society needs many more true elders as role models for those following them in life.
As I have got older I realise I have so much more to learn and some of the wisest teachers are children. Wisdom has no correlation to age; it is knowing who you truly are and living from the love of your inner-most being.
There is so much out there pushing older people into the background you have to wonder if there is a force that is afraid of the amazing wisdom that older people in their true elder energy can bring. Also we have to get away from aligning young with beautiful. Beautiful, can be that soul that has lived an awesome and connected life, a true life, and we know this, we just have to move away from the conditioning of our way of seeing that has happened through TV, magazines, movies, advertising and the belief systems we have been subject to, and that our idea of beauty depends on what we see. We need to be far more aware of what we feel as a true marker.
‘Why do we accept this degradation of the aging process? Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity? Oh boy, there would be a big shakeup of the status quo!’
Great questions and great point. Working with older people it is clear that within our societies we do not value the vast amount of lived experience they can offer and when living as Dianne describes the wisdom they could bring. We tend to push them aside and discount the huge potential for learning, support and guidance they have to offer. There is the running joke in the UK that grandad always talks about the war – so why have we not got the message! Regarding the ‘shake up of the status quo!’ – What would it look like if all the major cooperation’s and organisations had a board of directors made up of elders and children?!
I love your blog very much Dianne because I too find it ridiculous with all the youthism around getting older. What is bad in getting older by accepting the flow of nature? I have to admit that I do not like to wear sackcloth and ashes (that was my picture of a woman getting older) – no I like to wear cloth that fits to me because I love it to celebrate my body and it doesn’t matter how old I am to do so. Yes I agree Dianne our youth need other role models otherwise we all look the same in the end – people who get this plastic surgeries for me are all looking the same!
Seeing a woman age naturally, radiating all her grace and wisdom and not afraid that the life she has led that will be totally visible in her face is an incomparable combination of vulnerability and power that shows what the words “timeless beauty” truly mean.
I am also learning to break attachments to people especially one family member in particular where I can see there was quite a thick cord on my part to be recognised and seen by this family member. I feel I have finally cut this cord by healing my own hurts around this relationship, which has created the space to love and accept and appreciate more of me and in turn has supported me to accept, and most of all understand them and to feel where they are at, and to love them just as they are….And that feels beautiful expansive in my body in the knowing that they can no longer affect me if I am accepting myself and accepting all of them.
“Notwithstanding the, at times, frustrating aspects of an ageing body with its aches, pains and stiffness, I realise there are many great benefits of these increasing physical limitations of ageing – for there are no other limitations! ” This is so refreshing to read Diane. There is so much negativity around ageing, it is totally gorgeous and inspiring to consider that the limitations (other than the physical ones) that we put on ourselves as we get older are mostly self induced. I love your light hearted and playful approach to getting older. Thankyou for sharing.
Thank you Dianne for sharing beautifully your acceptance of becoming an elder. I am an elder too, no denying that fact, as I look in the mirror, but there is a part of me that feels vital and alive, and that part has no age attached to it at all. I love your words ” living from my innermost essence, and seeing and doing life from the prospective of the soul .”
It’s lovely Dianne, to read how you gradually accepted the ageing process and used the ‘decline in physical abilities’ to bring more self-loving actions and gentleness into your life. You demonstrate how we can learn so much from our bodies if we stop to listen and do not override these messages. Though we may develop wrinkles and sags the vitality and beauty within is not reduced, it can only be covered over. By being self-loving we bring forth the inner beauty, which shines through the eyes and the skin and lights up the world. Makeup or hair dye may be used to enhance our beauty but it seems false if used in an effort to create an image.
The elder role model is much needed for many. The wisdom that is felt and is naturally pouring through should not be held back. The ageing is just that – the natural process with time but the quality of what we bring to another comes from lived experiences which are golden moments the next generations can find inspiration from.
Beautiful contribution, thank you. Like you I used to scratch my head about having to respect elders just because they were older than me whilst I could not find much if anything at all that I could appreciate about the way they lived, talked and carried themselves. Your contribution makes a clear and poignant distinction between biological ageing on one hand and maturing and developing into wisdom and more clarity on the other hand and marries these two aspects beautifully.
Awesome Dianne, I love the way you are embracing your ageing process, having fun with it and exposing the forces out there that are trying to make us feel bad about becoming older and maturing. Thank you.
Society adding tags to people. Elders are role models that deserve respect (essentially meaning leaving them alone and not messing with them) even if in truth they are not at all. It is a bit like a societal permission to do as pleased, a perfect alibi for the rest of human beings not to remind them about their responsibility here and now. At the end, labeling elders and leaving them alone under the excuse of deep respect for them we mask the fact that we have given up on them, and on ourselves.
I love to revisit this blog Dianne, it just shares so many truths as well as exposes all the myths around aging and getting older. I know since I have read your blog, I am far more accepting of myself and the cycle of my life that I find myself in. It also feels like, what an opportunity and a blessing we have as women and men claiming our elder energy and letting go of our attachments and foolish way of youth, in order to share our wisdom with all others and the ripple effect this has on all others.
I like the fact that because you focus less on the way you look, you can be more aware of the inner being, the innermost and develop more and more that connection to your soul, you take advantage of the effect of time and use it to become more and more soulful, and then be an example for younger people to see there is another way to grow older and wise, not dreading the passing of time and the gravity it entails.
So true Julia. There is so much more to us than our outer appearance. Letting go of this gives us the space to develop a connection to a much deeper and soulful part of ourselves,
Experiences and learnings help us mature and grow. But in the core of what is inside of us, we are all ageless. And perhaps this is what we can share as elders – that an elder is not defined by their age, but by their wisdom lived.
‘We are all ageless’, brings an expansion and in the expansion a gentle reminder of who we truly are and where we truly come from.
It is indeed ageless. If we as elders start to reflect the wisdom lived from inside that has always been there, then youngsters can have a trueful reflection already at an early age; a reflection of ‘everything is already in you. You don’t have to look outside of you.’
It’s wonderful to see someone truly claim their beauty, grace and wisdom regardless of their age.
Thank you Dianne, you reminded me of my childhood days with the same saying “Respect your Elders” it was a term very often used, as I was growing up. I loved the way you expressed your future gracefulness, and grandness, being full of wisdom and love. Looking forward to joining you in the gracefulness of being an elder too.
Such beauty and grace in the what you write Dianne I love this ‘I wont even die my hair. When/if it ever goes grey it will be just as beautiful, and will be my ‘badge of maturity’
Thank you Dianne I love what you have expressed here, I remember so well as a child who could not hold back saying what I saw and the ‘so called elders’ would say keep that child away from me!. These were the role models around me and I certainly was not inspired,until I realized through Universal Medicine and began letting go of the hurts and deeply understanding myself and others, accepting myself in full and being responsible for the ways in which I live my life. Each and moment is an opportunity to learn. I feeling younger than I ever felt And now that I am 60 I feel that I have become of age so to speak ☺
Love what you share here Yasmin, Now that you have’ become of age’ I am looking forward to hearing more from you, perhaps in a blog of your own…..?
Love this article Dianne and I love that you are embracing being an elder. You are a true role model of what it means to be an elder – letting go of the dominance of outer recognition and coming back to our innermost connection and living in full honouring of ourselves.
Thank you Dianne for this blog where I can feel how fully claimed you are in what you have presented because you are living this way yourself – no theory required…
I love that Brendan – “real beauty is found deep within each and every one of us”. And that means everyone, all people of all races, sexes, colours and ages. There is not a single being who does not contain a beautiful equal essence of pure love.
Diane, this is an amazing blog….I am in the elder years and I could feel the echo of every word in my body! I love the days when I wear no make-up and have cleansed and applied moisturiser only to treat the dryness of my skin.
I have often felt if we women did just that i.e wore no make-up; we could begin by giving it a go for 1 week? In doing this we would be presenting our true faces to each other and to the world…bringing our focus to the quality of our essence and not how we look on the outside.
I loved your last sentence and I can feel, through your sharing, that you are indeed offering a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.
Anne McVeigh
Dianne I love your light and down to earth approach that comes with your writings. I feel inspired by your grace and certainly appreciate you as one of our true elders we can call on for wisdom and truth. Thank you for sharing your Elder Energy with all of us.
Dianne such a great blog that is lifting the lid on such a needed belief that growing old has to be such a downer and negative thing. What you share is super inspiring and wants me to only accelerate this process because when we let go of all the ideals and beliefs around becoming old and the heavy hindrances that it is laced with, it is actually a beautiful natural process. If we develop and embrace an exquisite connection with ourselves the most beautiful wisdom and grace follows. I have witnessed this with many students of The Way of the Livingness and they seem to look and feel younger as the years go by.
While reading your blog Dianne, I was wondering, have we mistaken youthfulness for vibrancy and vitality? When you look in a woman’s eyes and see the light is most definitely on inside there is nowhere else to look. It doesn’t matter what shape, size, how many wrinkles she has, what her hair colour or age she is, you can feel and see how joyful it is for her to simply be herself. No plastic surgeon, lifestyle magazine or diet can offer her anything as it all comes from within. It is an emanation that radiates a deep considered knowing and wisdom that can come at any age.
Absolutely, Suzanne – no external beauty treatment can put that light in someone’s eyes that comes from their connection to themselves, their soul!
Wow Suzanne – I love what you have shared here! It certainly would seem that we have mistaken youthfullness, physical fitness and an ideal bodyshape for ‘vibrancy and vitality’. How one lives is reflected first and foremost in the light of their eyes, expressing the depth of care, acceptance and connection with themselves that is an absolute joy to behold.
Such an inspiring blog Dianne, and great to have such positivity around becoming an elder. I remember receiving a birthday card on my 40th birthday (from someone who was only a few yrs older than me) that said ‘its all downhill from here’ – I was completely shocked as it showed me how this person felt about their own life, and I could feel how much this is a commonly held belief these days (perhaps this is where so many give up on life?) However this felt so not true for me – I had actually felt that turning 40 was a very positive time in my life; a time for discovery, growth and expansion of who I was, and was very inspired to explore this, and still am as I move on in elder years. Each and every one of us – young, middle-aged or elder, have so much to offer one another.
I love the word ‘elder’. I associate it with anyone who inspires me as if they have lived a wisdom I have yet to live. Someone who has already walked the path I am yet to walk. Its like they hold a light shining the way for me to go.
Elizabeth this is a beautiful way to feel about our inspiring elders and a confirmation of how we can offer true support to each other as we age together.
Anne McVeigh
I like what you share here Elizabeth, it is super inspiring to have another light the path for us. It is also really beautiful to then walk this path with them, side by side. Embracing more and more that the light we see in those who have made wise choices before us is exactly the same in us.
And then Elizabeth it is not a matter of age anymore, it is the grace and the wisdom we feel in any human being who has lived what we have not lived yet, beautiful expressed by you as ‘walked the path I am yet to walk’.
“An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” I love this understanding Dianne. Being an elder does not come automatically with age. Like all things, it is a choice. A choice to share your lived wisdom. I am blessed to know elders who have made this choice.
Yes Lee, it is a ‘choice to share your lived wisdom’ and it’s sad to see so many older people who have given up and who do not care to realise that they can make a different choice. Someone who lives their life fully reflects to others that it is possible to live a different way and they inspire others to get out of the comfort zone of the living dead and come alive. This then shows the responsibility we have not just to ‘better’ our own life but to be a true role model for others, and this gives life true purpose. How could we then sit round and play cards, letting our great experience of life go untapped, when there is such great work to be done?
The cosmetic industry, the media, the role models offered: we are fed the fear of growing older from a very young age. We are made to believe that there is nothing worse in life and that life really only is good when you are young. Since this has been leaving out a growing part of the market, with the average age having gone up considerably, growing older has been made all about escaping life with lifestyles filled with travelling, consuming and yes cosmetics to show the world you are still young and enjoying life.
Never is it about being part of the community, continuing working or sharing experience. What I have come to see in the true role models of elders I see within the Student of the Livingness student body is that elder energy is all about sharing wisdom, the ability to counter all that life is imposing upon us and a deep lived self appreciation, nurturing and love and a feeling of surrender to the divinity within.
You make some great points here Carolien. Our elders are not encouraged to be part of the community and continue to contribute. Its a real shame because there is so much grace, wisdom and experience that is going to waste. It’s great that Universal Medicine are bucking this trend by equally valuing people of all ages. I am so inspired by the older students who are still vibrant and active. I no longer have a fear of growing older, because I have been shown how much I have to look forward to.
I agree Debra, I have lost my fear of growing old too as well, as my wish to ‘one day retire” The esoteric community is a beautiful living example of what a true community can be like where all have their role, place and purpose equally so no matter what age or gender.
I love what you share here Carolien, the elderly that do make their life about being a part of the community are absolute treasures. I have become involved with my community in the past couple of years and all the people I work with are older than me. The dedication to their commitment is admirable and I love working with them.
One thing that I have noticed in doing this is that the main thing that annoys them is the indifference and lack of commitment that they see in many of today’s youth. Something for all of us to ponder on here, what is going on that so many have no desire to support others. Caught deep instead in looking out for themselves with little or no consideration for those around them. We can all learn a lot from our elders and their outlook on life.
I agree Leigh, we can learn a lot from our elders. My parents were war children and have learned to work hard and work together. Sure there is a lot lacking in their life too, and we can be very critical and dismissive because of that but I am learning to truly appreciate their values and what they did and do bring.
This is so true Carolien, it is easy to criticise another for their choices, but when we open our hearts and truly feel where they are coming from and what they have lived it is much harder to criticise. Recently, certain behaviours from someone else were pushing all of my buttons. It took all of me to not react verbally. On pulling myself up and feeling what was going on for this person, I fully understood the behaviour. I found with this acceptance that I felt love and understanding for this person. I must say that it really was a wonderful experience to have.
The elder role model is very much needed by teenagers especially, many of whom feel lost with no sense of direction or purpose in life.
Diane I love your understanding of who an Elder is. Someone who “accepts them selves for who they truly are … and really live their wisdom and grace.”
In recent years through Universal Medicine I’ve had the honour of getting to know people younger (even much younger,) that absolutely live as you describe, living and sharing the truth and wisdom of whom they are.
So true Sandra, being an Elder is not determined by age, but rather by a commitment to ‘…living and sharing the truth and wisdom…’ of who you are.
I am so enjoying my elder years, not having expected to, as I witnessed the elders as they aged around me when I was younger. I am slowing down a little, especially noticeable when I am with my grandchildren! However I am enjoying all the opportunities being an elder presents. I can be so much more detached from situations, observing others reactions and not needing to get drawn into them. Grace, harmony and wisdom are some of the qualities I am especially connecting with.
I love what you share here Sueq2012. I can feel the ease and grace that you accept yourself with and how this is lived with everyone in your life. Thank you
Beautifully shared Sue. I feel so much grace and harmony in your presence and a stillness and a depth of wisdom that is deeply inspiring to feel.
Lovely to read this Sue. I really enjoy the equilibrium that ageing brings and this ability to detach and observe holds others without judgment and I’ve seen people change without anything needing to be said – just from the reflection that is offered.
I love how you have exposed the saying ‘respect your elders’ even if it meant those elders were not respecting themselves. For me, ‘respect your elders’ meant ‘don’t answer back’ whereby dismissing the natural wisdom of the child who quite often would want to express what didn’t feel right but would be promptly shut down.
I can relate Vanessa. And in that I forgot that someone who is in their elder energy imparts enormous wisdom regardless of their age. I also thought I was less than another because I was younger. How crazy is that!
This is so true Vanessa. As a young girl that phrase, ‘respect your elders’ was just something that was expected of young children, to only speak when spoken to and to definately not question what was being said. What innocence and wisdom was being denied? A sure fire way to stop a child from expressing what they truly felt.
Yes Vanessa, this I remember well, and is still very common way to treat children. It was awful to feel older people talking about things that you didn’t agree with but not being allowed to speak up and disagree. I just had a memory of that with my parents often having people around for dinner, wanting me to be there to be the good and obliging daughter, but not wanting me to say anything that was out of line. And so the pattern of non expression developed. It is still something I am working with but I am glad to say that it has definately changed since understandng that ‘Expression is Everything’, as we are so often reminded of during presentations and workshops from Serge Benhayon.
I felt really old at 50 and approaching invisibility and illness had me feeling I had nothing to look forward to. This was all turned around by my willingness to accept and appreciate my life now with the support of what I have learned through Universal Medicine and my ongoing relationship with it and the students of Universal Medicine. Ample role models there. Now I feel and look younger than ever before without any trying. Enjoying my wisdom and not afraid to share it.
I used to say I will not dye my hair because it just is natural and beautiful to have grey hair. When I was around 50 I had some grey hair and the rest of my hair started to be like pepper and salt as we say in Holland. It felt heavy and it was not reflecting at all what I felt in myself. I was starting to feel more joyful and very lovely, to feel my grace. I trusted my hairdresser when she said we will bring some sparkle in your hair, very natural colours.
And yes you now can see the sparkle in my hair, the sparkle I feel in myself since I am connected to who I am.
Loved your share Annelies, and yes you do sparkle, you sparkle and you shine, clearly something your hairdresser felt too!
Great to re-read your article Dianne, I love this description of an elder, ‘I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’ This is very beautiful, from what I observe in society in general this does not happen, I work with many elderly people and there is a lot of moaning about getting older and saying ‘don’t get old’, from what I witness there is very little joy, so it is really lovely to read from your experience that there can be another way.
I completely agree. This is one of my favorite lines from this blog. It is true that very few older people actually claim the wisdom and power of the elder energy. This then feeds the myth of youth being everything and that we must struggle to hold on to it.
Great point Lee. The struggle to hold on to our youth when we are turning our backs on the power and wisdom that our youth can be supported and nurtured with by claiming our stage in life.
Yes youth is being championed while growing older is something to dread and much time is spent ‘trying to hold back the clock’. It’s quite the set-up, as the truth is when we age we can expand into the sum total of everything we have lived and no matter what we look like, we can embrace the elder wisdom if we so choose to deepen our awareness.
Absolutely agree with you, rebeccawingrave, I too love that description of an elder. What a shame that we do not see many examples of that nowadays. So many older people are constantly trying to prove that they are still young, and can still do the things that they did when they were young and still refusing to take responsibility for the things that come about because of their behaviours and choices. Of course it is important to keep ourselves truly fit and healthy, but how much more important it is to truly accept oneself as one is ageing, and live the joys that come from really knowing oneself as we go on through life. The words that come to me are ‘Ageing Gracefully’. It is beautiful to meet a true elder who is ageing gracefully and lovingly.
Thank you Dianne I so agree with what you have expressed here. In contrast to what I felt as a child looking at the role models that were around me I realized through Universal Medicine that learning to connect deeply to myself, letting go of hurts, developing a greater understanding of myself and others, accepting myself in full and being fully responsible for every thought, deed and action, was what life was about. As a result of this each and every moment is an opportunity to learn; so getting older only equates with the joy of expanding and learning more now.
Just felt to add that at 16 I felt the oldest I have ever felt in this life as at that age I felt I knew everything. I often laugh at that as I approach my 60th year.
Ha ha — gorgeous Kathleen and what an inspiration that is for all of us to embrace the expansion and deep wisdom and joy that comes with age.
So funny the arrogance of youth. This can run rampant without the support of truly claimed elders living their wisdom.
Yes Lee great for everyone if we have “truly claimed elders living their wisdom” as role models around us but never the less we usually need to learn through our experiences and for me this was and still is a learning that continues to unfold laying to waste every belief and ideal I ever held about, well, almost anything and everything.
I love what you say here Lee. I had moment in my life where I could have chosen to take a completely different course, yet felt inside that this was not true for me. Something inside made me ask outright what my Grandfather thought of the choice I was about to make. Up until I asked, he said nothing, the moment I asked, he let loose and said everything that I myself had felt, but was loath to see as being true. Without this truth from him, I know that I would not be the person I am today. True elder role models are an intricate part of our world and are very needed for all of us.
Indeed Kathleen, I felt impervious in my teens and early twenties with a certain arrogance that thought it had all the answers and I see that in most of the youth of today. It’s the living experience that humbles us and wisens us up and then we realise that information is not important in relation to the profound wisdom that we can all tap into within. Once we tune in to this then we become an elder worthy of respect, no matter what our age is.
So true Sandra, when we tap into the profound wisdom that is within we learn from it ourselves. As the gospel of Thomas states “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”. Seems that bringing through the wisdom found within is a must.
At this age not that we just think we know everything but we also feel indestructible hence the abuse we often impose to our body in terms of sleepless night, drinking, smoking and keeping awake with coffee…
Yes Alexandre, if only we knew what exactly we were doing to our future body. Our body wears the consequences of all our previous choices. Every single one.
‘Of course every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age’ – I love the feeling that ‘every human’ must be respected – I know that it has been a great learning curve for me to realise that just because I am older does not mean that I hold the wisdom that is available to us all. I am learning to appreciate and am constantly humbled by what is so obvious and profound in Natalie and Simone Benhayon and Sara Williams who are many years younger than me, but through making loving choices have a wisdom way beyond their years.
Ha ha too funny, I think I recall the same! Yet I have to confess had I stayed with myself as a child I could have been a wise teenaged elder.
I agree Kathleen. Getting older is most definitely a celebration of the expanding wisdom and responsibility that one is choosing to live with. It seems so ‘normal’ in society to not want to get older, and I often hear people saying ‘I can’t believe I”m turning…’ (I know this one myself!), but perhaps the more honest approach is to ask why we can’t believe or why we find it difficult to be getting older. If we were in the full acceptance of who we are, turning a year older would bring as you say the joy of expanding and learning more.
I agree Vanessa, I feel that perhaps most are too identified by their body. Look at the role models we have with some of the celebrities. They obviously freak out at ageing; we all know this as they go and have extreme procedures done to their faces and their bodies, distorting themselves in strange ways to look young again when most of the time they simply look like someone who has had work done. It is a whole look of its own, the stretched tight skin of an older person trying to look young. What kind of message is that sending our young?
“Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity?” – yes a shake up indeed! Instead of ignoring the old or writing them off, we would sit up and take notice. They would be so much to share and learn, it would turn everything on its head, for the youth would not ‘know it all’ and the elders would deserve to be in their rightfull place, beside us all.
Thank you Dianne for presenting the importance of True Elders in our Community.
Elders are known for their living quality, deep wisdom and foresight not necessarily for their age. Wisdom is ageless.
What would happen if the cosmetic services and surgery e.g hip, knee replacements, donor organs, pacemakers etc were all taken away – “how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living? Gone would be the artificial surface ‘beauty’. The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up”
– What a wake up and shake up call! Would we then start to accept responsibility for our past ill choices, and look within for answers?
‘This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.’ This is gorgeous and so inspiring Dianne. Thank you.
Thank you Dianne for this beautiful blog. It shifts the pressure of trying to stay young as we grow old to the joy of claiming more and more how tender, graceful, loving and truly wise we are and expressing from there
My sentiments exactly jane176, on reading this blog, it takes a lot of pressure away as we grow old. What Dianne’s blog brings is acceptance, we may try as we might to resist getting older, which is futile, we are all going to age – far better to accept, embrace with open arms those precious years that can support us to become more soulful as we let go of many attachements we acquired through our youth that held us back…and a great preparation for our next life……
There is such a freedom in accepting the cycles of life and truly embracing what each cycle is offering us and to truly appreciate the ageing process. It sure takes the pressure off and we will all benefit having true role models in every stage of our lives.
Thank you Dianne – this article really smashes the old and new ways that elders have been presented to us in society. I love how you have described someone who is an elder as someone who deeply accepts themselves and lives with the wisdom and grace that they naturally are. I am really enjoying the inspiration of elders truly living in this way.
The phrase ‘respect your elders’ most likely came from a truth of when we had older people in our communities who had wisdom and authority. But the phrase has been bastardised to mean ‘respect anyone older than you’, and there is no truth in that when it is thrown up in response to someone of younger years speaking the truth and the older person perhaps not liking or wanting to hear the truth.
Re-reading your blog Dianne, I reflected on what we see in the entertainment world with ageing music and TV/film personalities – the role models that younger people look to. What I see is the women striving to look like they’re still 25 when they’re 40+ and it sends a message out that you if you don’t, you’re not appealing to listen to or watch. The pressure on these ‘stars’ to look a certain way is massive, and for as long as they succumb to it, nothing will change.
Indeed, what a treasure trove is hidden through the deceit in society that ‘elders’ are of no consequence “Having said that, society goes to quite a lot of effort to keep elders down, feeling lesser, and trying to meet the youthful ideals.” Elders can offer deep wisdom and experience and support others to live a more truthful life. The deceit that ‘youthful ideas’ are some how better, is maintained in society and creates a sort of perpetual waiting game, each generation falls away and allows the younger generation to give it go, be rebellious, try and make sense the world. We all could work more collaboratively, harnessing all of the qualities that each part of of ageing precess hold, knowing that we all have something unique and beautiful that supports the whole.
I recently came across a beautiful photo of two very wrinkled old ladies laughing together and the caption said ” Once we were young and beautiful now we are just beautiful.” Now that says it all.
I loved your article Dianne and the true appreciation you have for coming to live by the inner wisdom that resides within. I also have come to understand despite the physical appearance or age of a person, that inner wisdom is within us all and when that is lived consistently we can then be called an Elder.
Two things about your blog really strike me Dianne. One is a feeling of sadness that there are so few Elder role models in the world today who impart to the younger generations the power of love or the wisdom of self-love. The second is that to do so an Elder really needs “to live their wisdom and grace”. Empty words are only ever just empty words.
It makes me think that the responsibility and calibre of an Elder begins well before they are old? If we knew our choices and experiences were not just for us but also for all others would we not be more consciously present, self-loving and loving role models from quite a bit earlier on and thus start develop a higher quality of life for all.
This is a really interesting aspect topic to explore and heal.
When I look at how we generally think about getting older I see a lot of untruths. Since I was very young I have always known that we are designed to become wiser and more detached with age and from that process become a greater source of clarity for others who have not yet worked as much through life’s challenges.
What we have developed in our western society at times borders on contempt for the elderly. Some of my elderly friends report that when they hit around 60 years of age or so they start to become invisible to everyone.
This speaks volumes about how we are imbued to think that getting old is a fading away. But we have been sold a lie. Ageing is a very special time for all human beings. A time for letting go, enjoying who you are on a very deep level, preparing for what comes next and the responsibility of being available for younger generations AND vice versa. We younger generations are designed to keep an eye on them and ensure they pass over with as much brightness and light as possible. In the west at least I feel we are fairly dim when it comes to understanding the life cycle.
The process of accepting myself as I age is ongoing, because I can still look in the mirror critically sometimes, see the lines or the bags under my eyes. But I’m aware of a maturing beauty that is developing, nothing to do with physical features, but more from an understanding of myself, from being comfortable in my own skin. As I become more gentle and honouring of myself, the reflection returns with more grace.
Dianne I just think this is the most beautiful blog and should be shared the world over, we have accepted such a meagre view of old age in the western worlds and you describe that also very well. What strikes me about your sharing of ageing is what an immense healing is being offered and chance to be living in a way that is very powerful and to be respected and embraced “become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm.” Billboard stuff
Dianne whats lovely now is seeing so many people within the Student Body with a grace, wisdom, strength and steadiness. I now feel that there are people that I can call true elders. There is no need to be told to respect a “true elder”. Very different to when I was a child being told to respect authority regardless of what that authority acted like.
The ‘decline in physical abilities’ has been hard to accept for me, accept that the body does not do anymore all I used to make it do. Now I enjoy being much more gentle and love feeling tender and delicate in my body which I could not feel when I was acting tough and hard.
I love this Dianne and have been thinking about how much the younger generation misses out when Elders are not accepting or appreciating themselves and imparting the wisdom from what they have lived. How awesome would it be, if there was an Elder hotline or a Dear Elder blog site?
I fortunately have relationships with many Elders and their grace, care and wisdom feels like they hold me with a loving understanding when I ask for support, and they are also amazing role models.
Yes Dianne I too was taught to respect my elders. When I look back to when I was growing up I cannot think of a single elder that I could look up to. As I begin to approach my 60th I find myself feeling more and more comfortable with just being me despite my body not keeping up with me. As my body ages I find myself loving it more and more.
Dianne Trussell this article is essential in our evolution back to true soulful living. To honour ourselves as we grow older and to honour those who are ahead of us. This has snapped me out of the illusion that I have been living in for a long time and that is that it is the youth that has the power and the beauty. I used to cry every birthday when I was in my late teens and early twenties as my youth was seemingly slipping away. Today it is so very different. Its my birthday on Sunday and this year Im truly celebrating my age and all of the wonderful wisdom and learning and grace that comes with the passing of the years.
I also feel that this article has brought to my attention how I view my elders and to not let them become invisible. Choosing instead to see the ageless being that resides within.
Wisdom and grace, certainly to me are attributes of an elder, regardless of the age of the person displaying such qualities.
This is great topic to bring to light and discuss Dianne – thank you. I can remember when I was younger that I believed that I had to make the most of those years because there was not much to look forward to as you got older. This is the message the we are sending our youth instead of the truth; that there is so much joy to experience in every cycle of our lives and each cycle comes with a graceful power of deep sacred wisdom that is available for all to connect to, share and live. ‘Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity? Oh boy, there would be a big shakeup of the status quo! The population would wake up to the lie that many of us have been living… and there are vested interests that would not like that, eg. the plastic surgery and cosmetics industries!’ – well said . Wow, we all would be experiencing far more deeply honoring way of living together. Thank you for claiming the true ageless beauty that you absolutely are. You are indeed ‘a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.’ – and an inspiration to us all.
Awesome blog Dianne and very timely for me to read it as I am off to visit my almost 90yr old dad tomorrow for 5 days and it always brings up such a lot of ‘stuff’ for me as he very strongly holds onto the ‘respect your elders’ story and a whole lot of other ideals and beliefs which I have a tendency to struggle with. Equally as important and much appreciated, it has certainly exposed some of my ideals and beliefs about ageing also.
“This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.”
This has been liberating for me to understand the “elder years cycle” you speak of Dianne Trussell. It has released me from the pressure we have impose on us to drink from the fountain of youth and remain forever young or attempting to appear so.
My relationship with myself now is to embrace the quality of my naturalness and express from there.
So very true Katie. Society has a false expectation that being an ‘Elder’ is a function of time-lived. In fact the wisdom of an Elder is not necessarily related to years lived, but rather to the quality in which one lives. A true Elder has a quality of life which enables them to access the Ageless Wisdom we all innately carry within. As you rightly say, this includes having a deep respect and love for themselves first.
I’ve found that ‘Respect your elders’ can be trotted out by adults who get embarrassed by a child’s innocent truth saying, when if they heeded the truths, a whole lot of pretence and false living could be healed and cleared.
That’s an interesting point Marian. I can distinctly remember being treated as though I was disrespectful as a child when I was stating the truth – many times. No wonder we don’t want to age – especially if it means you lie more!
There is a real fear out the in society about aging. I caught myself the other day at work, most of my work colleagues and in their early 30’s and me in my 50’s. I have a lovely connection with them and we share a lot of playfulness together in our working environment, but the other day I felt old. I stopped myself and felt into what i was feeling then I felt my elder energy, in that moment I could feel I was an elder, I wasn’t ‘old’ and that felt amazing. There is a big difference in the energy of saying I’m old to I’m an elder, Its so claiming.
The beauty of your elder wisdom shines through your writing Dianne. I know you to be quite young Dianne when I consider the term ‘elder’ as older in body but elder by living wisdom makes more sense and could potentially span for the majority of ones lifetime and accepting the physical decline just a small part of elder wisdom. This blog is exquisitely refreshing, inspiring and one to be shared far and wide. Thank you.
I am loving embracing the elder me – far more than I imagined I ever would in a world that prizes youthfulness above pretty much all else. Honouring myself without calibration or working out what others want of me – a fantastic feeling of freedom. And it doesn’t just come with age – but it sure does come with energetic maturity.
Totally Helen – energetic maturity: two words, when lived, change everything.
Energetic maturity, how wonderfully expressed. I am inspired to develop that in myself and not just for me but for others that may follow in my footsteps.
My grandfather lived to 94 years, so i had the opportunity to get to know him.
He would wake early every morning despite the season and walk through the park.
I remember feeling free in his company, he was very accepting and understanding, unlike many around me, he was not invested in me being a certain way, it was like he knew and trusted where he was going, no longer attached to temporal life.
What a blessing lucindag to have had this with your grandfather.
Thank you Lucindag, this has reminded me of my love for ‘older’ and ageing people as I have always loved their company, as as you say there is no imposition on me in how I should be and it has seemed like they have let go of the constraints in life that have been taken on. It feels like because they have let go of having to be a certain way there are no expectations made on others. It is because of this and their wiseness that those ageing have so much to offer and it is a time in life that deserves to be celebrated. 🙂
‘he was not invested in me being a certain way, it was like he knew and trusted where he was going, no longer attached to temporal life’. Lucindag, your grand-dad sounded very wise and lovely to be around, and is a gentle reminder for me about having no investment because I still fall into this sometimes…… and I can feel how that then changes my expression….
Dianne, it’s woman like you that are changing the world. Brave and beautiful is the two words that come to me after reading your detailed piece. Every woman struggling with the ageing cycle should read this, as you honestly make it sound so appealing to grow older wiser. There is freedom in this choice, that makes self denial and uncomfortable botox and surgery seem like a prison of self loathing that traps you from being able to inspire or support the younger generation as you are too busy trying to be them, it makes me sad as everyone misses out then on the magic of true elders.
Absolutely Sarah its the responsibility of the generations.
I agree Sarahraynebaldwin, watching a woman who is naturally aging and growing in her wisdom and beauty is a gift to everyone. Because of women like Dianne I now look forward to ageing and growing older, instead of the apprehension and dread that I used to feel.
Well said Sarah, “everyone misses out on the magic of true elders” if people are not able to accept and embrace their own ageing process as the next natural cycle of life.
Well said Nanna….. LOL
I am stirring you, I know that you don’t like adults calling you Nanna (only love it from the grand children) but you should wear the Nanna name proudly no matter from whoms mouth it comes, as you are such an amazing youthful natural Nanna and calling you that does not take away from the amazing woman you are but adds to it.
I agree sarahraynebaldwin – Dianne exudes beauty and braveness through her writing, with an unwavering strength, power and stability. I can also feel the level of responsibility it takes to be a true elder and therefore truly inspire. The responsibility of deeply accepting yourself as YOU are and not staying in the “self loathing prison” you have described so well! How cool that we each hold the key to unlock our prison cell through the choices we make.
Well said Simone, your a braking the victim conciseness when you talk about this key we hold and our choices.
Thank you, Dianne. Your writing reminded me of my grandmother. I have fond memories of the Elders in my family, which was my granddad and his wife. Especially my grandmother was graceful, wise, very caring and loving to me. I did not feel she was really honoured by the rest of the family.
I am totally with you on that one Rebecca. We do have this image of someone who we class as an elder as old or mature, but true maturity doesn’t come from age necessarily, but as you say, from someone that knows and lives the wisdom of who they truly are. As I am approaching those elder years myself, when I reflect back on when I was quite young, I can feel how there was a wisdom there with who I knew myself to be but chose to abandon that and join the masses and be recognized and accepted for what I could do. So maybe true wisdom is something that we are born with and know it as us through and through so it never really leaves us, its just our life choices that veil it and keep it at bay.
I know without a doubt the difference it would have made to my life if I had of had, a true elder in my life to help guide and hold for me, my truth with their presence and live that for me to experience and see in my life. So now, I have that opportunity to do that for my family and others and I embrace it wholeheartedly.
There is no doubt that having the grace of a true elder in our lives as we develop is an absolute blessing, Julie. The reflection of one who knows exactly who they are and has a totally no nonsense approach to everything is something we all need as we develop into adulthood.
At the recent webcast of The Way of the Livingness, it was presented that perhaps being an elder has nothing to do with the age of the body, but was instead a kind of agelessness, from being free to be yourself. Natalie Benhayon sat next to a 80 something old woman and yet they both seemed completely equal, in wisdom and grace. It really highlighted that to respect an elder is not necessarily someone old, or older than you, but someone in who you recognise a lived wisdom, the wisdom that comes from knowing and living who you truly are – this is what makes people like Natalie Benhayon so amazing and authoritative.
I agree Helen, the fact of reincarnation brings a whole new dimension – no longer are children just children, they are people who have lived many lives and have many experiences. To me it completely explains how two kids in the same family can grow up to be completely different people, for if we go on genetics and environment, it will be almost identical in both cases, but if we consider reincarnation, it is no surprise that one child is a different person to the other, because of the different lives they have lead and bring to this life.
Imagine raising children with the understanding that they come with lifetimes of experiences – already complete and all knowing, what a difference that would make.
This is pure gold ‘For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm.’ I can feel for me, as well as limiting, it has been a fight against a natural flow and exhausting as a consequence. Definitely one to give up. Thank you Dianne.
“Respect you elders’ feels like it come from an era when we were expected to look up to how older people knew better than younger ones, but the doesn’t feel true today when a lot of the older generation are trying so hard to stay young and are continuing to behave in irresponsible ways to fit in with youngsters. It feels to me we should now be saying ‘respect the toddlers and babies’ because we can see how connected they are to themselves and we can learn so much from them.
I agree gillrandal, ‘respect your elders’ no longer feels true and feels outdated as many older people are clinging onto staying young, and so many are sick and ill and look much older than thier years simply because thier choices have not evolved them; so how can they be a role model for the younger generation……I laughed at; ‘respect the toddlers and babies’ for the sheer contrast but as you share, we do have much to learn from them!
There are some young people I know who are so wise and worldly in their understanding of life that I often look to them as elders, even though they may be much younger than me. But this does’t matter because wisdom has no age barriers, and I can understand what it is like to be very wise in a young body and how great it feels to be appreciated for all that you have to offer no matter your age in years.
You offer us so much here in this beautiful sharing Dianne – “to naturally support my body with nourishment and nurturing so it can be as well as it can and the inner wellbeing can show on the outside as my natural beauty”. If we all aspire to live life in this way then all cosmetic/beauty clinics would be a thing of the past.
‘For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing’ – oh yes…in myself and observing others it is extraordinary the lengths, time and energy we are prepared to put into avoiding something so natural and, when surrendered to, so beautiful and in line with what serves a bigger picture – a world where every chapter of life is honoured and appreciated for how it supports the others. Chapter 10 is essential for Chapter 1 and we cannot all fit into Chapter 5 so the struggle is futile!
Matilda I love your analogy with book chapters! After all, isn’t it always said of books that the ending is the most important part? Authors put a lot of effort into how the story’s elements all come together and make sense as it progresses, and into the conclusion that the reader is left with. In life we put a lot of emphasis on beginnings, on newness, on youngness, but actually there is great power in the later development and grand coming together of anything: a book, a story, a tree, an invention, a business, an education, and each human life.
Thank you Diane for writing and revealing many ideals and believes around the aspect of getting older,seeing it as something negative versus claiming the beauty and wisdom as an elder.
A few other perspectives have come through since writing this blog. An elder who lives as a self-loving, contributing role model is not only doing so for younger people, but also for other elders who are still struggling under the illusion of trying to hold onto youth, or the misery of having given up and just ‘putting up with the inevitable’. It’s a blessing to be able to inspire someone not just my age or older, but even as much as 20 years younger, who has been ‘feeling old’ and living in resignation with ageing. To watch the spark of liveliness re-kindle in their eyes as they see what is possible, and what is within them if they so choose, to see them starting to change eating habits, lose weight, get out walking, taking care of their bodies again because it matters; to see them breaking out of stagnancy and despair, and getting up and learning again, doing things that they forgot they love, and new things they always wanted to but gave up on…. And do you know what is often the trigger for this inspirational transformation? Playfulness! For too long, elders have denied themselves playfulness and opted for seriousness, as if that is the expected and only way to be respected. But it hasn’t been working has it? Too much seriousness becomes a depressing habit, that shrinks and hardens us, robs life of its flexibility, spontaneity, silliness and fun. But you can still be (reasonably) graceful and present even while being playful and silly!
What you have shared Dianne shows how powerful it is when we realise that what we do, say, think, work, dress, eat etc etc can either be a reflection to inspire another or confirm to another to stay living in the same way. I was that 20 years younger person you mentioned, living ‘feeling old’ and being very very serious without any form of playfulness. I can so relate to this: “Too much seriousness becomes a depressing habit, that shrinks and hardens us, robs life of its flexibility, spontaneity, silliness and fun.” Thank goodness I’ve remembered to be playful and if I go into being too serious now there are many playful people in my life that show me.
That is a great revelation Dianne! Playfulness is a key here, that is why grandchildren, whether they are our own or children that we have contact to, can be so healing for elder people, because they remind us how to play, laugh and have fun. That is if we allow ourselves to open up to that.
What you describe here is so relatable Dianne. The seriousness we adopt in life is no fun at all. It has an all-pervasive way of taking over the control of what surrounds us. I wonder if severe cases of unwarranted seriousness are a ‘first world problem’? There is so much to be joyful about and for me it starts with appreciation – of the little things in life. Then it is an easy step to silliness and fun.
True Dianne and I love this line ‘Too much seriousness becomes a depressing habit, that shrinks and hardens us, robs life of its flexibility, spontaneity, silliness and fun. But you can still be (reasonably) graceful and present even while being playful and silly!’ When we stop being playful and silly it is as if life has already ended. I see this a lot in my work with elderly people and I just love it when I see a sparkle in their eyes when I am playful and silly around them while I am enjoying my work, it’s such a privilege to work with elderly people.
This is super powerful: “every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age”
I totally agree Jessica- “every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age”.
In accepting that we all have something valuable to bring to humanity, no matter what age, when we value and appreciate the divine inner qualities within us, and live from here, not from how society wants us to be.
Absolutely Loretta
Spot on Jessica – way too much emphasis is placed on our age whereas the truth is held in Ageless Wisdom.
Well said Tamara – wisdom is not based on age or what we would call ‘experience’, because everyone is constantly experiencing life so has equal authority
‘At the time I remember wondering, “Why should I respect people who got drunk, killed themselves with barbiturates, smoked cigarettes, lived on junk food, beat their wives, dumped anger and judgment on others, gossiped, cheated, lied, tried to be someone else…?” Of course every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age.’
By asking our children to respect somebody just for the sake of respecting somebody because they are older, or regardless of their behaviour, we set them up to lose touch with their inner knowingness of what feels true to them and what not. We teach them to swim in a puddle that is murky and do not give them the choice to swim in the clear waters they might choose to swim in.
What a beautiful offering Diane, your acceptance of who you are from your essence as a role model for generations to come.
‘Many of our elders have allowed themselves to be degraded and disregarded by the culture of youth worship, to the great detriment of society.’ This statement really resonated with me today, when I reread your article, again, keep being drawn back 🙂
I realised that there isn’t as much ‘respect’ shown towards elderly people today as even 30 – 40 years ago. It seems the youth of today and their attitude are often held accountable for this. However, it’s a two way street. We can choose to buy in to the false ideal that you become of less use and interest the older you get. Or, we can remain true to our awesome selves and continue to live with the same love and vitality and be an inspiration and role model for others. Age shouldn’t come into it at all. Then I feel there could be a shift back, young people may look up to their elders more and appreciate the wisdom and insight they offer, along with the fun and joy. They will be offered true role models to show some respect to.
Yes, it seems to me that a lot of elderly people give up at some point as they feel ignored and not valued and they do play their part of the role by the way they dress, speak and contribute to society, etc. It is an issue that needs to be addressed by everyone and cannot be blamed on one group or the other.
It’s a shame that ‘Respect your elders’ has been so misused – usually to keep kids quiet!
It’s actually a true saying which encourages people to benefit from those who have lived and understood life from more of a detached perspective. The problem is that whilst a lot of people age they don’t actually develop that understanding and detachment.
That is very true Dean, Unfortunately a lot people age and still carry the sense of responsibility and investment on other’s lives because of the belief that that’s the way it should be when in fact the more they can detach the more they can reflect true care and inspiration for others throughout their lived experiences .
Yes these beliefs you mention Francisco are a killer in our society because they keep as from walking back through the doorway to our own inner wisdom where there are no ideals or beliefs whatsoever, just understanding, knowing, acceptance and great clarity. Once our ideals are let go of, no matter what our age we can all then become elders.
And the sad thing is that in most cases, instead of respecting elders, all this did was create a form of tension and quite often fear of elders in children.
Agreed Tamara, I was quite terrified of my grandfather as a child – though later I found out that he a was man with a very big heart but also under a lot of pressure to provide for a big family.
Dianne your words “This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to” really spoke to me. They are filled with love, beauty, acceptance and humility and an honouring of not only your own cycle of ageing but how it interrelates to the the cycles of younger generations who will walk in your footsteps. I can’t help wondering what humanity would be like if we all realised the importance and assumed full responsibility for all the interrelated cycles between birth, death, the earth and all people living upon as you do.
I agree Dianne. While I believe everyone has elder energy inside of them, your comments about the opportunities to use this time as a way to make a deeper connection with ourselves is something I have noticed also. As I approach my elder years I have been considering how my body has changed and am learning to follow it, rather than pushing it harder to achieve what I want to get done. The resulting aches, pains, stiffness etc will soon tell me if I don’t!! As a result, I am feeling much more tenderness and fragility. I am also conscious of how this might be perceived as valuable role modelling to someone many years younger to demonstrate that old age isn’t necessarily the demon it is painted out to be.
You got me at ‘elder role models that glow with the grace, wisdom, poise and responsibility that can come from age’. A beautiful line that offers a revised aspiration for our later years.
I love this line too Cathy Hackett, and yes let’s highlight it again; ‘elder role models that glow with the grace, wisdom, poise and responsibility that can come from age’.
When we are children we know instinctively who the true elders are for they treat us with respect, and listen to us, and do not try to impose on us, and also they give wise guidance and we feel welcomed in their company. I met a few people like this when I was younger, men and women, and longed for my parents to be like this. I knew the difference, and what I was missing. I appreciate those few meetings I had that enabled me to recognise that life did not have to be as it seemed, there was something more.
I love this – a confirmation of what I have often felt – that there are people out there who support the fact that we do not have to play the games so entrenched in our society and patterning; who live and express an integrity and natural wisdom that lights up those same innate qualities in us. Thank you.
On reading your comment Matildaclark, I realised that the feeling I received from these elders I met as a child was that they were untouched by all those games happening around them, and were clearly their own masters, totally themselves, needing no affirmation. I always aspired to being like this but never knew how to become the true elder I am until I met Serge Benhayon and he showed me the way. I have now begun the journey back to my true self.
Yes Matildaclark, there are people out there who have seen through the game of life and have become great pillars of wisdom in our communities. Some of them are not necessarily old either – just very wise.
Yes these people had an impact far greater than they probably realised. It only took one meeting as a child to feel confirmed forever. To have people like this in the world without holding back their love of humanity is vital for the health and well being of society given the current state in which we find ourselves in.
Joan you are so right. There were those older relatives that had a quality of solidity and grace, and they were natural to gravitate to. They felt safe to be around, and consistent in the face of the uncertainties of life. I learned so very much from those older people when they shared their experiences, and this raises an important point. Elders have such value to “youngers” that it is important that they are open to younger people and share their wisdom to those who are willing to listen. The stories of experiences and lessons learnt are always interesting to listen to and of great value to those starting out in life.
There is an experiment going on in France, Rachel, where they are addressing the problem of old age loneliness and the lack of accommodation for young people. They have brought in a scheme for students to rent rooms in old single people’s houses. Evidently it is working really well, and in this way young and old come to know and understand each other better, and learn to listen to each other , and a housing problem is solved at the same time. Also, the young are there to keep an eye on the well-being of the old and learn to serve. It came about because so many of the elderly were ill and dying without anyone knowing.
This is true. When I was a child I knew just who the elders were that could offer me real support, and those who would call me to account too!
I also had an experience of this joanchristinecalder – an elder who was not either of my parents. Reading this now and also matildaclark’s comment below, has reminded me of the expectation I placed on my parents by wanting them to be a certain way – to be true elders. It has been so healing for my relationship with my parents to accept them for who they are, understand them and appreciate everything about them – all the lessons I have learnt with them. As I develop this relationship I have found that they do drop little “elder bombs” every now and then – and it is such a loving expression each time. This makes me realise we all have an elder inside us, it is just choosing to actually let it out.
Thank you for bringing that in, Simone, the expectations we have of our parents to be perfect in every way. It is so important to accept them as they are and understand and appreciate them. My parents passed away long ago, but since working with Universal Medicine I have grown to understand and appreciate them for who they were, and the love they did give me. Their difficulty was in relating to their children as they really did not have any sense of their own relationship with themselves, so how could they meet us for who we truly were when they could not feel who they truly were? But, as you say, they did express many little wisdoms that I still remember. It was the all encompassing quality of being of the elders I met that made me long for something else, but, of course, that is what I was longing to recognise in myself.
Beautifully said joanchristinecalder – isn’t it such a blessing to have the awareness that we can actually take responsibility for ourselves and look within. No more searching outside of us, we actually hold the elder within. I love this ‘what I was longing to recognise in myself’ – thank you.
Likewise, the people who have touched me greatly in life have been true elders – those who let me be and are deeply comfortable in their own skin, live their truth and offer constant inspiration and wisdom.
‘I do whatever I can to naturally support my body with nourishment and nurturing so it can be as well as it can and the inner wellbeing can show on the outside as my natural beauty’ …… beautifully put Dianne. This is what we should be reading in our magazines, not, how to defy nature and ‘look’ younger on the outside, enforcing such a fake ideal. As if it’s ‘all about how we look’, not how we feel or ARE in our bodies.
I’m looking forward to changes in our aged care system. Currently it looks more frightening that anything else, and is not one that honours older people, wherever they are at in terms of their awareness.
That is so true Victoria. Many of the issues that have been raised about substandard care and living conditions of the elderly show a lack of honouring of individuals once they are past the ‘youth’ criteria and perception that they have less worth. This blog and comments are great in exposing how erroneous that is and that there is a different way which truly supports the whole society.
Re ‘respect your elders’ – ” I could appreciate the principle, but was constantly frustrated about having to respect people who were making choices and behaving in self-degrading or abusive ways that did not meet up to my own principles.” You have such a valid point Dianne. Now I am an elder too I feel those younger than myself are just as equal to me, except I have lived longer this life and may have accumulated more wisdom than some in contrast – but also maybe not! ” Out of the mouths of babes….”
I know that my own level of acceptance and appreciation for my body as it ages directly reflects how I view and hold others. I imagine this is tied to old beliefs that you are of more value when you are achieving or producing in the world, rather than valuing the quality that I live my life in.
I have always loved being around elderly women, for some reason they just seemed to make me feel safe. It is with a great honour now that I am approaching my middle years, as I learn to hold that nurturing quality for other women who are in the midst of finding their way.
It seems there has not ever been in Western society a valuing of the elder community. I think of TV ads that show old grannies hip hop dancing and the like. Our community at large has much to learn about wisdom and grace, and it is time we all began that path and looked to those elders who choose to know their wisdom as role models for us all.
Embracing oneself whether as a child, as someone in their middle years or as a sixty-something is needed. Each age group has a responsibility to live fully with grace and acceptance of who their really are; it is delightful to see kids and teenagers particularly living true to themselves, as much as it is seeing the older generation living their wisdom and experiences confidently.
‘Respect your elders’ makes sense in some ways because you would think that if you have lived a few more years on this planet than others in this life then you may have made a few more errors and learnt from them along the way and maybe might have something to share with others. But respect must be earned as you say and we must always discern whatever information or wisdom we hear from any source, whether it feels true or not. It is clear to me that some ‘elders’ have learnt very little from their years of living and some young people seem wise beyond their years. I guess this leads me to the conclusion, that maybe it is not how many years you have lived but more how committed you have been to learning from them that counts!
I love this article and the questions it poses. I am inspired to be attentive to the moments that I am still pushing my body disregarding the ever emerging and increasing delicateness of my ageing body. I am enjoying the shift from dressing and wearing make up to cover up flaws, to dressing and wearing make up in appreciation and celebration of me…knowing that depending where I am choosing to be on that scale impacts the quality of my whole day. I am also aware of the responsibility we have as we get older to support younger women in not losing themselves to the demands of social expectation and pressure.
You talk out of my heart, Matildaclark. I am as well going through this kind of process to learn to appreciate myself and the tenderness in me and my aging body and even if it is aging to feel that the body is holding so much tenderness. Often we experience when the body is aging it looses its flexibility. I experience by being truly tender with myself that the body stays quite soft and flexible.
Beautifully written, Dianne. You not only bust ideals and beliefs about getting old but show another way and what is possible and real. And serving the younger generation, so they learn it’s not IT to follow the pressures for outside beauty, neither being old nor being young.
True wisdom is ageless.
Someone at work is turning 60 and feeling very depressed about her age, almost shying away from it. I am so inspired now to share with her how amazing she is and offer that it’s actually a beautiful time of life, where there is so much to offer to others, if we choose to do so. It’s not about feeling what we’re NOT, but embracing who we ARE and choosing to celebrate that, with deep love for ourselves first. Thank you Dianne.
Thank you Dianne for writing this blog. Its great to be highlighting the important subject of getting old and not just touch on the obvious topics of an aging more fragile body. I no longer dread getting older as I have been inspired by some amazing women who are decades older than me and who still have a sparkle in their eyes, a spring in their step, a sense of style, much wisdom to share and a definite purpose to their lives.
You make a great point about the responsibility we have around the choices we make and yes ! I agree, from my own experience of aging that our choices around food,exercise and general lifestyle become very obvious in our body as we get older. I feel that if we don’t connect to and live who we truly are inside, then we are in for a pretty rocky ride as we age. A true elder that lives wisdom and offers it to others is something I aspire to being.
That’s so true Belinda Jane, re the choices we make. I remember when I reached 40 knowing that I had to make a decision whether or not to continue living the way I’d been living up until that point – health-wise I knew it wasn’t sustainable. I’m glad I reached that fork in the road and chose to start taking my well-being seriously – it’s made a world of difference to my vibrancy overall. Constantly refining my choices around food, exercise and lifestyle is something I know I’ll need to keep doing as I age.
A true elder that lives wisdom and offers it to others is something I aspire to being. A lovely inspiration Belinda, and if we expand on this further, when we are in our elder energy and bringing our wise ways to the world, surley is a great preparation for our next life…if you consider the possibility that we are coming back of course.
‘It would be scary to let go of our ‘youth props’ and be exposed, vulnerable and seen as we really are: we would then have to derive our self-worth from our innermost instead of our outermost.’ What a great statement. I saw a well-known TV personality the other night who has clearly chosen the route of plastic surgery, perhaps to remain relevant in an industry hinged on looks, perhaps to remain optimistically youthful. Either way, nothing about her face looked natural or beautiful. She looked a little odd, and felt tense and self-conscious. I’ve noticed with many women who choose this path that their bodies are often more able to conform to the ideal but their faces give them away, and this was the case with this lady. When I think of some of the gorgeous elder women I know, who have chosen a self-worth based on their innermost, there is a sense of their bodies matching their faces, both beautifully natural and without an ounce of the hardness it takes to brace oneself against the ageing process.
It is natural to want to look our most beautiful and I find it sad when a woman overdoes the cosmetic surgery. A woman who is at ease and accepting of herself is the most attractive expression I have felt. Why is it we don’t appreciate we are enough as we naturally are?
Dianne, I love this article. As a post-menopausal woman entering the top end of my elder years, I can begin to relate to much of what you express, including noticing how my body feels and how I need to be with myself in a much more loving and connected way. The cult of youth is a harmful movement, designed to keep us away from loving ourselves to the end.
‘Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity?’ Given in countries such as Australia the ageing population is growing enormously, this would indeed be an amazing thing. We’d have a gorgeous explosion of wisdom, grace and beauty!
Instead of anxiousness about the financial strain of an ageing population, we could have a power house of inspiration, turning the tide on the fickle nature of the beauty industry. ‘Elder power’ – loving that.
And a gorgeous explosion too Victoria Lister.
Thank you Dianne for a great blog – there is much to ponder on here.
I was stopped by this statement:
“What would happen if the cosmetic services were all taken away – how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living? Gone would be the artificial surface ‘beauty’. The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up.”
I love this – so much money is now being spent by people trying to mask the consequences of their past choices – would we live differently if we did not have the cosmetic industry, or indeed modern medicine?
Ageing grace-fully is wonderful – I love it too! Every year I feel more and more able to enjoy this body I have been given to live and serve in, and to be more and more of who I am in essence.
Me too Annemalett – for the most part at least. I recall as a much younger woman reading interviews with women in their 40s and older in magazines and hearing them say how much more comfortable they felt in their own skins; how they loved shedding the body image issues that had plagued them in younger years. While this wouldn’t be true for all women, I can feel it is for many. Now I’m at that stage too and I’m looking forward to developing more love and appreciation for myself as I age.
Imagine if the grace and wisdom you offer here Dianne was shared with teenagers – what an amazing sense of purpose they would have in their life.
Thank you Dianne, What a great article that shines a whole other light on the process of ageing and our responsibility to honour and accept ourselves and body and the way this can support the younger generations. I can feel your wisdom and grace in all that has been shared. Beautiful!
I love the way you have expressed, all that you have said here, about elder energy. Exposing the illusion and what is not true, about being an elder. The more elders that are true to themselves…….. will be true role models, for the younger generations to aspire to. Who have alot of wisdom to share with the world.
I love the way you have expressed, all that you have said here, about elder energy. Exposing the illusion and what is not true, about being an elder. The more elders that are true to themselves…….. will be true role models, for the younger generations to aspire to. Who have so much wisdom to share with the world.
This is a great blog and something that needs to be talked about much more. Our older people in society almost become invisible which is a reflection of how we want to deny getting older. As you said Dianne – our society is one of Youth Culture and our society looses out. there are cultures where elders are respected, but are they respected for their age or what they bring their wisdom of lived experiences?
What we miss out on is the wisdom of the lived experiences that can be shared so the younger generations could have roles models and evolve and learn there are other ways to develop as young adults to mature adults in our society. Where instead of repeating the same old patterns, new ways come can start to spring up….to be an elder is not just about ‘getting old’ and a demanded respect without any responsibility, but about becoming the willingness to not only see oneself as a responsible person, knowing that we have a responsibility in service to the younger generations as role models…there is so much richness and wisdom tucked away and such treasures lost forever in our invisibleness!!!!
These treasures if shared – can actually lead society into a new direction of evolution rather than repetitive problems we go around and around in our world….but we can be a source of INSPIRATION, ENCOURAGEMENT, STRENGTH, AND EVEN A REAL GOOD LAUGH AT LIFE!
Yes Karoline, the loveliness of being with an older person who is still engaged in life and with people is very refreshing and so supportive. The wisdom of their lived experience such a blessing and an inspiration should we be open to seeing and accepting it.
There is something so important here about being open to the lived wisdom and experience of others in the breaking of the many cycles of ill patterns and behaviour. If we support, connect to and respect our elderly we would be able build on what they had learnt rather than seemingly always started at the beginning again. We do not have to endlessly repeat mistakes.
Diane I have loved and really enjoyed reading your article on ageing – and ageing gracefully. I love how you have talked about the disregarding way that both young and older women are portrayed in the media and how the physical appearance is pushed with the cosmetics, clothes and appearance all driven with the ideal to stay young or look young and sexy. True sexiness is not something you get from what you wear or how you pose, it comes from within a woman, a woman who knows herself and accepts and celebrates and adores herself, regardless of age. I have seen many older women who are far more sexy than younger women dressed in what our society deems as sexy clothes – and this comes from the way they are and not from what they wear.
What you have presented Diane is a graceful acceptance of the ageing process and a way to realise that power of the elder that can be brought through with the quality that we hold – many elderly in society fear the ageing process as they fear the loss of being an active and useful member of society and since our society has such a large focus on what we DO rather than who we ARE, then naturally the elderly can feel threatened and fearful of not ‘stepping up to the mark’ or performing physically with an ageing body. But this totally discounts the enormity of the being that they are capable of bringing, that we are ALL capable of bringing and living.
Great blog Diane! When you asked how we would be if all the cosmetic youth props were taken away – I felt quite OK with it… which I would never have been able to say once upon a time – I used to wear make up to bed because I didn’t ever want to be seen without it!
I could also feel myself surrendering – and feeling almost relieved! – that the games we play to look beautiful wouldn’t exist and we could all just be ourselves naturally.
While I don’t necessarily consider myself as an “elder” in my mid-forties I realise there are things in life that through experience and hindsight I have learned from and as such have a lived wisdom that can be offered to others who irrespective of their age can benefit from my life lessons. It is this lived wisdom that brings a quality of being an elder and is really not related to our age but our ability to ‘master’ life and out of willingness to share what we have learned so that others can benefit form our mistakes and triumphs and insights.
This point about mastering life is a good one, and not one constrained by age. It also helps further explain why I (like Dianne) never held much as a young person with the notion of ‘respecting one’s elders’ – I didn’t see a lot to be inspired by in the older people I knew.
Yes, one of those so familiar phrases that have some truth in them, but not the whole. ‘Respect your elders’ segregates and reduces; ‘Respect yourself and all others’ lays a foundation and is inclusive.
Yes and in the ‘mastering’ of life is the surrendering to ourselves… the connection to the wisdom that is naturally there for us to offer another.
I just love getting older – there are so many things to explore about my body and who I am – time to get to truly know myself. To grow old gracefully as an ageing woman is to embrace all those different aspects of myself and to have the confidence to be who I am more fully. It’s such fun.
Its so inspiring to read this Susan. Thank you.
That’s lovely Debra – I have always found that each decade brings us different and new opportunities that when explored only enrich us. However, it has only been since exploring the work of Universal Medicine that everything has fully come together and made such glorious common sense.
Me too Susan, I do not want to be one moment younger as every moment I am learning something new. Why would I want to miss out on even one of life’s lessons?
So true Kathleen – and in this way we claim our true wisdom as we are always open to new opportunities and ways that we can change and unfold.
I have to be honest though, I know this life is not the be all and end all, but I do feel the years slip by faster year by year and there’s a part of me dreading all the things that come with old age – loss of bodily functions and illnesses. Having said that, I know that as I get older I will only be building more love and my life will be enriched by the only wealth that I take to the grave – the love in my heart, the love that will twinkle from my eyes as I become a grey haired old dude, waving my walking stick at youngsters. It’s much more than a consolation for losing one’s athleticism. It’s a prize for a life lived true to my soul, humanity and God.
Don’t be too disheartened regarding the changes in your body. At 54 my body isn’t as athletic as it was 30 years ago, no where near, but I don’t need or want it to be. I’ve found as my body changes, with age, it’s given me the opportunity to take far more care of myself. I’m enjoying treasuring myself more and developing a much deeper relationship with me and a greater understanding of what self nurturing really means.
Thanks for your lovely words here Alison. I can feel it really is an opportunity to slow down and be more self-loving.
Beautiful sharing Alison thank you. I love what you share in terms of not needing your body to be as athletic in your older years, which gives you the opportunity to slow down appreciate and deeply nurture yourself. What a beautiful rythmn and quality to live with.
Yes Alison so true, as we age our body talks very loudly, letting us know what we can and can’t do and as Dianne points out, to override these messages is to invite pain, so it is imperative that we take care of ourselves. The only shame is that most of us didn’t start listening to our bodies from an earlier age as we where just as delicate then.
That part about dreading the onset of illnesses and frailties is a good one Jinya and something we all have to come to terms with sooner or later. A couple of years ago I was shocked to discover I had a chronic condition that will most likely accompany me for the rest of my life. Brushing up against one’s vulnerabilities is very humbling and it gave me a new understanding of what life is like for people with persistent / significant / pervasive health issues – and not just our older people.
When you think of it Victoria, most of the population has some kind of health issue. Look at the caffeine consumption alone that has got to indicate that a high percentage of people are suffering from exhaustion.
Very inspiring article Dianne. I feel that many of the fears associated with ageing and the push to stay young and youthful, are based on the fear and denial of death. When one embraces the truth of reincarnation, these fears are easily disapated and the ageing process more easily accepted as part of the cycle.
Yes Paul, ageing process is like nature, everything starts to age before it dies…there is an end, and this is confronting…unless we bring an acceptance of this process and connect and appreciate the depth of lived experience and the wisdom this holds and how it can be shared, now imagine leaving that behind….and then as we reincarnate back into the future, we come back to what is left behind!
Great point. It changes the whole perspective doesn’t it Paul.
Hi Dianne, I find your words truly inspiring ‘Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity?’ We grow older and become invisible to much of society, and yet we have so much to offer. Your words are a call to action for us elders to stand up and be seen – to walk with grace so that all may feel our beauty, wisdom and power.
So True Carmen…it is a call to stand up and be seen as the true elder that society needs.
Let’s celebrate and claim each stage of life, irrespective of age. Often when not content with who we are and our stage of life we miss the joy that surrounds us. A person I was with recently shared her photo album with me and said with regret: ‘I can’t turn back the clock, can I?’ Unable to accept with grace the age she has reached (83) or feel her inner beauty she was left with sadness. Each day I reflect back the true beauty she is in the way I speak to her, prepare her meals, support and nurture her.
With the age of people wanting and having plastic surgery becoming younger and younger your blog brings such an important message … the responsibility we have to ourselves and humanity in accepting, embracing and nurturing the true beauty elders are, Thank you Dianne.
Yes, as we can accept our inner beauty, a beauty of wisdom that we have lived and the joy of this time in our lives where there is a greater understanding, our dreams have dissolved, some of us left in regret and other in a sense of achievement BUT its a time in our lives where we come into a new phase and that we need to allow ourselves to open up to and see what is there….a treasure of love, our true beauty!
I agree Karoline and to add to that ” treasure of love, our true beauty” is the endless wisdom accumulated from years of learning ‘what not to do’ by all the mistakes we have made in our lived life to date.
I agree Gill, at the moment old age is seen as something to endure, which has no value to society and is dreaded, but we now have people living in a way which throws all of that out of the window and as I see it they have a huge amount to offer the younger generation.
“And it is certainly true that ageing people who do not accept themselves for who they are, are less likely to embrace the wisdom and service they can bring as they age to become true role models.” As I approach my 60th year I am beginning to enjoy the changes that these years bring. This would not have been the case a few years ago as I was still striving to stay young and not accepting my true age. I have stopped fighting myself and I am for the first time in my life enjoying me and in turn I am starting to embrace the natural beauty that comes with growing old gracefully.
There seems to be a shame in getting older, mainly because most of it is based around looks and there seems to be so much pressure on women now to look younger, physically toned etc. Worth is measured on outer appearance, not from the deep wisdom that elder women and men can bring through their lived life and their experiences – something to be respected and treasured and not discarded like a pair of old shoes.
“Many of our elders have allowed themselves to be degraded and disregarded by the culture of youth worship, to the great detriment of society.” This is a brilliant observation Diane and it’s so true, so many older people are ashamed of their ageing bodies and this is so not where the focus could be. I often find the company of older people very calming and unimposing and I love how they reflect on so much of their lives without being in the angst of it, just the learning and wider perspective. So many of us could do with this wisdom on tap, especially the young who are under just as many pressures to look and be a certain way.
Nothing is more Powerfull than the living truth shared from the experiences, wisdom and knowing of the body – and there are many years of this life to share from an elder persons body. What I love about his blog is it is revealing the fact that we have all sold out to what the outside is suggesting we should be instead of listening to our own truth within. The elders have so much that needs to be shared With the youngers because they know in all there years of lived experience what does and does not work. Full Stop!
There seems to be an unspoken ideal that we all aim towards. As a child I wanted to grow up to be a certain age where I thought I could be more me in the world then once at that age I realized that I still wasn’t really giving myself permission to be me even though I was free to make choices of my own. Most of these, however, were not loving and they eventually declared themselves in the wrinkles in my face and by my body drying up. Then society sees us as ‘past it’ – past what?? …so we judge ourselves and try to look younger, but seldom are we accepting of ourselves just as we are.
By starting to accept ourselves we also accept others for who they are, not for how they look or what they do and this inspires us all to look within and not be governed by the outer image which drives us relentlessly towards an unattainable goal.
I met an older women at a car boot market over the weekend. She was dressed conservatively, a bit rounded and had short hair. I’ve often used the expression ‘eye smiler’ to describe people who have a glint of wisdom, cheekiness and joy in their eyes; she certainly did and I’m drawn to her stall for this reason.
It seems ridiculous for the elder generations to consider themselves not worthy unless they hang-on to their looks or redeeming features. What about being what you’ve lived, sharing your stories and wisdom for fun (and with those who may learn from them) and ‘eye smiling’ at the younger generation?
Diane – a very deeply felt thank you for opening up the appreciation and honoring of our true essence and worth as Elders now and in waiting. There is so much you have shared here and I look forward to re-reading often. All you have shared is very true and dear to my heart and soul.
Absolutley Dianne – we are all in this together to see and share and realise that no matter what age we are, if we don’t claim ourselves from within, what are we really achieving? What you say is true – what do elders have for themselves and role model if it doesn’t come from the tenderness and deep wisdom of their very wise bodies that know the truth.
What an incredible piece of writing. You bring to light the awful nature of people trying to ‘look’ like something that are just not. Accepting oneself in a world full of images promoting a ‘perfect’ or ideal way of being and looking certainly makes it hard to accept ones own innate individual beauty but when that is down, and especially for elders within the community, a maturity and deep wisdom shines like nothing else I’v seen.
The magnificant quality of a elder women or man when they have accepted themselves is the most beautiful quality to be around. This should be nurtured and cherished not denigraded and older people dismissed for being old!
Dianne, if being an elder model was readily seen by younger people as you have truly described then much of our self doubt and insecurities about ourselves would fall away as we would have people around us showing us exactly who we are and how to be in the world. We would innately know that we are this too.
This blog Dianne did make me ponder on how I myself look at my ageing body and I became aware that I was in denial of my ageing, I did not truly accept my ageing looks. I had to become younger because ageing was not a pleasant perspective.Nominating this idea and the denying of becoming and even being an elder woman feels so much lighter and it is the beginning of embracing my wisdom and beautiful woman I am.
That’s incredible Annelies. Over the past week I have been doing work experience in a hospital and there are many elderly patients in the wards. What I’ve noticed is the huge difference between those who are fighting their ageing and those who are very still and accept the fact they are nearing the end of their lives. The latter are much more joyful, and the atmosphere of sadness is lessened around them.
That’s awesome to hear Susie. It gives me an understanding of what to aim for – then and now: Acceptance with a capital A.
Very powerful Annelies. We can put so much energy into denying what is gong on for us with ageing being one example. Living in a bubble that we think we can escape into. But this puts us in so much tension as we are swimming against the flow of life. So much lighter to embrace and live where we are at in the here and now. Thank you for sharing.
I too have considered whether I’m ‘trying’ to look younger and at times I would say yes. But what I’m also realising is that ageing doesn’t mean we become frumps. I love wearing clothes that I feel and look great in, I love wearing make-up and wearing my hair a certain way and if that makes me look younger, then so be it. But now I’m more aware, I know it’s not about intentionally ‘trying to look younger’ but rather to express the beauty I feel inside on the outside.
How beautiful when women like yourself claim their true elder energy and role in society. Our elders would once again become role models, the wise to turn to and a great support to the next generations.
Yes I agree Carolien, we need more true elder role models as they confirm to us the wisdom and grace that is so precious to embrace and express in the world, no matter what age we are.
Just imagine as you say Dianne … “Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity?” – this would send a different message to younger people, who would not only see that ageing is nothing to fear or try to avoid by changing the outer appearance, but it would also create a really solid foundation for generations following. This would be super power-full.
Yes Sandra, this would support the young to not fear getting older, and instead embrace every wrinkle as a sign of lived wisdom. I am struck by the fact that the elders of our society are not deeply honoured and treasured. But then is it possible that through our lives we haven’t deeply honoured and treasured ourselves so that towards the end of our lives this is reflected back to us by the way we are treated??
That makes so much sense Rachel and I am experiencing that myself, the more I honour and treasure myself, the more this is reflected back to me. It is almost like unless I treasure myself I am blind to it whenever someone offers it and I outright reject it.
I agree Sandra, having vibrant, strong, wise elders in our communities will make a big difference to the younger generation. Without them our society is just not whole.
And without true and wise elders, the younger generation have to flounder and make the same mistakes made by generations before…that makes no sense. The elders have the wisdom and the young ones have the youthful energy to put things into action.
It’s true Sandra, elders expressing their true beauty wisdom and power would send a different message to young people, and also to those who are feeling the pinch from society about getting older. I love to see the response from women in my shop when they are bemoaning being old when I propose how wise and stunning they are as an elder – there is sometimes apparent disbelief – but in their eyes you know it’s ignited in them the truth of who they are and what they offer humanity at this stage of their lives. Gorgeous.
That is gorgeous Jo, what a blessing for these women coming into your shop to be met by you, someone who seems them for who they are, in all their wisdom and beauty. They’re obviously open and you’re the mirror for them to see their own reflection in.
I have had the honour of having many graceful, beautiful, sexy (and when I say sexy I do not see sexy, I never see sexy as a sexual trait) and powerful women in my life. I used to be scared about getting older now I can’t wait. It feels as though it is time for a woman to truly claim herself and from what I am experiencing this offers those coming up behind her the opportunity to know what getting older is truly about. I ponder to on how I can set myself up to be all I can be when I get older and this brings the desire to choose a responsible way of living now so I have that much more to share. Rather than taking after our elder role models we can keep expanding and evolving all they have shared.
Hi Toni, yes it is up to ourselves to really appreciate the time of ageing. As you I have beautiful elder men and women around me who inspire me to embrace my own aging and what I have to offer through my lived experiences. Men and women who embrace this period of life start to look even younger and more alive though they may be more wrinkles and other aging signs. A very sexy occurence actually. All comes from inside out.
I love that Sonja, it is a very sext occurrence. Sexiness is our sacred power and always comes from the inside out.
Yes I too was very scared of aging but with the elder role models around me I can look forward to something very beautiful should I embrace and express the beauty I hold within and let it shine.
I love how you say you can’t wait to be older, I can already sense the way in which you are accepting the future so readily. This is a far cry from the vast majority of elderly people I know who are in angst and regret about their older years. Any wisdom they have gained is rarely seen for what it is and may be obscured by angst. I really welcome the return of the appreciation for the wisdom of the elders.
Yes I agree Michael, the inspiration would be huge, as Dianne said ‘Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom & power for the benefit of humanity’. It was through meeting Serge Benhayon and attending the inspiring presentations of the Ageless Wisdom in my 50’s, that now in my early 60’s, I am able to live my life in a totally different way to before. I am starting to reclaim my true beauty, wisdom and power, which has much more purpose.How amazing is that… Thank you Dianne for writing your inspiring article which concerns everyone, as after all we are all growing older each day & every day. How great that we have many new elder role models like yourself living a new different way to be in our later years.
Very true Sue it is wonderful to have more elder role models. I know quite a few myself and I absolutely cherish what they reflect to me and what I can learn from them. And not only that, they all look so sexy, beautiful and gorgeous!
Being a student of Universal Medicine has given me role models of every age. From the vitality of youth to the grace of the elder I am constantly shown that old age doesn’t have to be a limiting feature in my life. I can look at the youth, and reflect how different mine would have been had I been fully aware of how I live now then. And I can look at the elder, be one of them, and celebrate our amazing grace.
Wow Dianne, absolute wisdom! You have expressed here as the true elder you describe, in the grace and with the wisdom of sharing your experience of life to support those seeking to deepen their own understanding of life and the art of living.
I love the way you go beyond the obvious here and really dig around under the surface of commonly held understandings of this topic.
Totally agree Kate, and that’s what I love about a lot of the blogs on this site – they ‘dig around under the surface of commonly held understandings of the topic’ and provide a totally different point of view on life.
So true Kate….All these blogs are awesome, as they do present, as you said, a totally different point of view on life….Expressing outside of the box.
I agree, it’s going beyond the obvious or surface conversation that is so lovely and revealing. It’s this process of discussion and asking an ever increasing quality of question that leads somewhere and or provokes the answer.
I love these words.
‘every human must be respected as an equal, but this doesn’t remove the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age.’
If everyone just lived this then the world would be a completely different place.
I agree that the world would be very different if we each took responsibility for our own choice, if respect was provided equally and not based on how well we perform for others and that the role of the true elder was embraced but those stepping into it and those how can learn from it.
Johanna I was struck reading this line this morning as it shows how if humanity as a whole choose to take one step forward with personal responsibility the majority of the worlds problems would be truly healed. There is nothing rocket science here and it is something that regardless of finance or location can be claimed and lived by all.
That is key: the responsibility we have for the choices we make, no matter what age. Now interesting enough while our body is aging, the choices we have made leave an imprint in our bodies. I recently had a party where a lot of people were there who I hadn’t seen for ages, even decades. I could instantly see and feel just by connecting to their bodies what choices they had made, whether they were loving or not. Therefore, for me choices are the key to growing old gracefully – or not.
I love and recognise what you express here Caroline: ‘for me choices are the key to growing old gracefully – or not’, simple yet profound.
I agree Johanna. By treating everyone as an equal, if people aren’t taking responsibility for the choices in their life, they will be offered a ‘pull’, an opportunity to make different choices, or not.
Absolutely agree Johanna. This is true equality for all as we are all asked to be equally responsible and respectful. Crazy that in society today as you get older the responsibility seems to go because this is never going to allow for true equality!
Thank you Dianne for sharing your lovely blog, to claim the essence of who we are and to live not held back by concepts of what we should be is to live in a wondrous freedom of being who we are no matter what age and with that a vitality of life that is ageless.
You’re absolutely right Dianne, unless we embrace our beautiful, graceful, natural aging blossoming we are saying to the next generation “I am worth nothing as an older person” – what could be further from the truth!?! When women start to reflect this grace and wisdom as they move through menopause our young women would have to begin to change the way they perceive age, image and self worth.
Good point Rosanna. As long as we identify with what we are doing, someone who ‘does’ not much seems less worthy. The ‘worthlessness’ from older people is just a reflection of our way of living and the missing connection to who we truly are and what we are able to bring.
Resisting the natural aging process is truly about resisting becoming more physicaly fragile and less in control. It asks us to surrender and allow a deeper understanding of ourselves and life, it asks us to be honest about the way we have been living our life, it asks us to choose truth, love and a deep honouring of the delicate beings we truly are.
Thank you Diane for this beautiful sharing, I have not been resisting getting older but when reading your blog I can feel that in a few years when my body will show more signs of aging, I probably will. Today I make a choice to support myself with everything that comes up for me with aging and to enjoy the qualities, wisdom and service that comes with being a mature and elderly woman.
For men it might not be so much their look but the decreasing ability to perform with the same ‘doing’ they identified with for most of their life like work, being a provider for the family, being physically strong and protective etc.
But boy oh boy is it a feast to see and feel elder men express their deep love and care for people, their wisdom and advice that only seeks to further and nurture the inner wisdom of the young for them to be able making wise choices already in their early years.
The article exposes the fear of aging within myself. I never have felt the fear of aging in me as I feel still very young but this article brings up deep buried fears of being worthless when old. This is something to heal within myself. Thank you, Dianne.
There is no greater beauty than the soul-full light that emanates from the eyes of those who have connected to their innermost essence and therein allow themselves to age with nature grace and ever deepening connection to their divine origins.
Ageing is a word that most of society fear. I feel one of the main reasons for this is because we still want to live recklessly and free of responsibilities but as our bodies age we physically can’t live this way anymore, (as much as we would like). Age is forcing us at times to live in accordance with who we are.
Tony, you are bang on the truth here. How often is it only through the occurrence of illness or disease, or the realities of ageing that we are forced, in effect, to truly take stock of how we are and have been living?
And can we actually welcome such ‘calls to account’ for all that they reveal to us (however challenging to our habits and ways)? Are we willing to respond? Or rather, deny the part we ourselves can play in our own health and wellbeing, at whatever point in life we may find ourselves.
The depth of awareness I have gained on such matters from being a student of Universal Medicine is something I cherish beyond measure, for the ‘living recklessly’ as you describe has never stood me in good stead, and it never offered me a true foundation of support from which to love, cherish, know and express all that I am – which is true ‘living’ in my books.
‘Ageing is awful and to be avoided’. This is such a damaging belief. How is it possible to avoid ageing? It’s totally impossible. It’s time we all accepted this fact and moved joyfully into our old age.
So true Rebecca! What a bizarre thing to encourage avoid ageing. There are untold amounts of cosmetics that are supposedly anti-ageing as well as cosmetic surgery. The latter especially leave people looking like they’re wearing a mask. In the elder people that I know, their vitality and health does not come from a quick fix or out of a bottle, but their choice to live lovingly and with self-care.
And by this belief being something we fall for- are we not setting absolutely everyone up to feel less in their later years of life?
It is far truer to be all we are for all of our life – gracefully so.
Dianne, you grabbed my attention when you stated ageing is awful and to be avoided. This is the vibe that I have grown up with, especially the going grey part. I wonder when all this anti ageing began and what actually triggered it? Is it because we are now living longer? It wasn’t that long ago that humanity had short life spans. Are we not use to ageing and seeing older looking people?
“I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.” Being in my elder years now I can feel deeply all that you express Diane, and the above sentence is just what I am discovering day by day at the moment. I feel that now, with the decline of my body that I “thought” would be fit till I was 90, is a precious gift to show me how I can truly be able to let the material world go and live from the true light of my soul. This is my purpose in these few years left to my passing
I guess just getting old do not change the quality we are living. Where should the wisdom come from if not from choices we made, our living experiences and the connection to our inner-most divinity. The base for that is an openness, flexibility and willingness to expand, to learn and evolve. The base is to take responsibility.
From my experiences with my own family I can say that taking responsibility is not rising by becoming older – the opposite is the case. And by observe this I feel the sadness in that, the giving up on a vital living. Life becomes narrower, less possibilities to move and express…well it just shows/reflects the choices we made, it is reflecting our way of living. And that is so crazy because it can be so different as you show Dianne. Life cut be become more easy, freer and purposefully. We need some Role Models like you – showing an other way. Thank you!
Sandra, you make an important distinction here. It is not about ageing but about how we choose to live. In recent years I have met some ‘elders’ who are in their twenties and thirties. They are people who have made that choice to accept responsibility for themselves and be that example for others to reflect upon. Great sharing thank you.
As a society we have so underestimated how great it is to get older! When we live a life of being connected with the soul the process of ageing takes on a whole different look and feel. I am enjoying becoming the kind of Elder that I always wanted in my life as a young person.
wow that is so beautiful Elizabeth, ‘I am enjoying becoming the kind of Elder that I always wanted in my life as a young person.’ This is such a gorgeous service to humanity, to be this elder role model, this blog and these comments are changing how i feel about getting older and what we have to offer as elders.
That is beautiful Elisabeth, and part of that is knowing your role in society. As you are living a life of purpose and service you do not look to retire/withdraw from life but to bring more of you each day. In this way your lived experience only expands and there is even more to offer when you get older. How amazing.
The notion of respecting elders just because they are older reveals to me a misunderstanding of the term. I feel an elder is someone who demonstrates wisdom in the way they live regardless of their age. Over the past few years I have met some incredibly wise young people who one might easily view as an elder in this sense.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom here Dianne. There is nothing quite so beautiful as someone who knows and lives in the reflection of their innermost truth, regardless of age.
Hi Dianne, I can very much relate to what you write. As I had a great-aunt who was that kind of beautiful elder person when she came into this age. She was more settled and had an inner beauty coming out of her eyes. She was not imposing and the stories (little buckets of wisdom) she told were as relevant to us younger people and brought much understanding to how and why life goes and what part we play into it with our decisions. I can remember us sitting with her a few years before her passing over and having a lot of joy and intimacy with each other. Thank God I have today a friend in her elder years too. And I am blessed when she shares from her inner knowing. Every time we speak I feel the tremendous support and holding she offers.
This is a truly beautiful and honouring article Dianne thank you what a joy and inspiration for truly ageing with the wisdom and love of our soul. I really love how you say
‘I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’This to me is pure gold and to be lived with grace and a reflection for the world.
Thank you Dianne for holding true to yourself and being/becoming a true elder role model. When you look at or talk to many ‘older’ people they are agitated, angry, sad, etc.. and it can make you worried about getting older. Whereas when you read blogs like this and talk to people like you, I get a sense of the beauty of growing old and what it can show me.
I had told people for years that I had to grow older but did not have to grow up. Life should be fun, I have had my share and still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up…I have already retired twice and still working. I have a real long list of things I don’t want to be though. The long list comes from years of good and bad choices. In a round about way that leaves what is left to choose, easy. As you have said Dianne getting older allows you to see everything with more clarity. I am just over 60 and feeling younger everyday.
I love the joy that comes with your blog. I feel a lot of joy lately as well, as I come close to 60 and let go of more and more attachments and limitations that had run my life. That is because of my commitment to Self-love and being the true me, but I also feel that my many years of life experience are giving me clarity to see things for what they are. And I feel as young as a child, as old as many life times, ageless and wonder-full, and it gets better and better. I could never have imagined that getting older can be such an expansion.
Regina, I love how you describe elder energy; ‘I feel as young as a child, as old as many life times, ageless and wonderful and it gets better and better’. I can feel this expansion you share with us, it feels awesome…..it feels awesome to mature and ‘become of age’.
Thank you Dianne I loved this. “seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.” This is awesome and what a brilliant way to live life expressing and being in a way that does not put a huge toll on our vehicle of choice i.e our lovely precious bodies.
I agree holding on to being young is ugly but there is definitely nothing wrong with allowing our inner beauty to be expressed playfully and even grandly in our looks, no matter what age we are.
Thank you Dianne. I can feel the power and responsibility that many older people have, in terms of their lived experiences and the way to be through life, and how vital it is that young people get to hear and feel this for themselves.
I agree Ben it is vital that our elders pass down their wisdom to the younger generation.
Hi Dianne, You’ve made a great point about the women’s magazines now targeting older women to prove they can still be sexualised, but this is not true sexiness. Of course our elders can still be sexy, with the way they move, talk and the look in there eyes, a sexiness that eminates from within. Elders have much to offer and teach society.
Great point Rachel – elders do have SO MUCH to offer and teach society; their years of experience and wisdom should never be discounted. It’s fascinating what lengths magazines and the media go to, to hide this – by sexualising them and still trying to layer them with makeup and photoshop in the same way they do young women… It’s horrible.
Agreed Susie and Rachael. What exactly is the point of trying to be something we are not, e.g. look as though we are 25 when we are 65… and feed an industry that would so diminish the truth of a woman, the life she has lived, and the depth of beauty she may hold – at any age? I have to say, I’m enjoying my mid-forties far, far more than mid-twenties (they were pretty tough years…) – and more comfortable in my own skin than ever… Enormously attributable to the work and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Why would I try to stretch out my skin, cut and paste it, to hide the real me and seek attention for something I am not? It’s all so ridiculously insane.. to photoshop real women in such a way (whether young or older) lessens us all, until we see through the miasma of it all, that is.
Being a student of the Livingness for the last five years has been a great advantage for me in playing the role model of an elder. I feel I have learnt to accept myself for who I truly am have become more soulful, understanding and patient.
Nick you are true role model of an elder, your tenderness, understanding and love is very inspiring for all, thank you.
It’s just these qualities that are so deeply felt by others Nicholas. What a ‘double blessing’ to come to a closer relationship with oneself, and then know how beautifully this supports others – often just by ones presence alone.
Seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul…wow. Now that’s what I call a true inspiration!
Indeed Dianne what a blessing it would be if we were to take the cosmetic industry away – a moment to take stock of the outward seeking of acceptance that has become so normal for old and young alike, a window to claim a greater responsibility for the way we are choosing to live.
It is very inspiring to see an elder who is truly comfortable in their own skin, this is more beautiful than any outer manufactured appearance. Along with our aging years we have a wealth of lived experience and wisdom that we can offer.
You sure do Victoria. It is easy for someone to say don’t do this or that but when it comes from someone who has lived it and made those and different choices the way it comes across is very different. Energetically it asks you to take responsibility and is not simply just words or instructions like so many children get from parents.
I agree James, when it comes from a ‘telling’ or an instruct or is loaded with any expectation… well I am sure we all know the outcome of that having lived through adolescence. A true elder does not impose or have any attachment to what is shared; they leave you alone to make your own choices.
What a celebration Dianne, of ‘you’ unashamedly so, and of the magnificence of someone who embraces themselves as a true elder, with the knowing of how greatly this serves as a role model to many…
I distinctly remember a time when I got in touch with a very deep grief within me – it was a grief over not having felt I had true elders in my life… This is not to discount the amazing women and men I know and have known, but as I witnessed people ageing and ‘maturing’ in life, I repeatedly observed one thing: each person (for the most part) didn’t seem to deepen in their wisdom as they aged, but rather remain in the same patterns and issues that had ruled their life ever since I had known them. And so my grief was over – where is the true growth? where is the learning, the discarding of what is not truly ourselves/what causes stress and grievance in life, and an embracing of the richness of love and wisdom that ever-resides within? And where are those I can seek counsel from – not to take my decision making away from me at all, but to gain a broader perspective, a deeper understanding…?
I repeatedly witnessed people only becoming increasingly imbedded in that which bound them… until I came to the work of Universal Medicine that is. My how the tables have turned, and now I see true elders around me (of many ages), and find myself discovering this part of who I am also – and so there is just so much to deeply and joyfully Celebrate here, for our societies have been devoid of true elders for many a long year.
And now, they are returning, and in great number. Awesome blog Dianne, thank-you.
Lovely comment Victoria. It seems that where there is no true growth, there is an absence of trust and the desire to hold onto to life in some way, to what feels familiar. Yet, the elder within us is what is truly familiar – and what a blessing to rediscover this and to celebrate it – as you say.
Absolutely Richard. Reading your words, I can’t help but feel just how little we’ve truly celebrated ourselves and others as our wisdom in life deepens, and also, how little we’ve respected and cherished those of the generations who have come before, who often had to walk through life in much harder shoes than I have ever known…
If we find ourselves discovering the elder within us, the solidity, observance, and depth of love that we hold in this – boy do we need to cherish and celebrate this, most of all via our expression.,, that generations to come may feel once again the true support of elders in their communities. So much to look forward to… (And by the way, I’ll definitely be ‘rockin it’ when I’m 80 – there are a few ‘rules’ to bust as well 😉 )
There seems to be a myth out there that looking youthful is the answer to having a successful life …. or perhaps it is being used as a solution to avoid seeing how you have lived reflected back at you in the mirror? I now know many older role models who are looking more vibrant and joyful than they were 10 or more years ago …. Check out the before/after Universal Medicine photos … Extraordinary transformations simply by coming back to love … Awesome and Amazing!
This is such an inspiration for us all. We are all getting older and we will all get old. What matters is how we approach it. If we embrace it and accept the changes we may actually enjoy it!
Well said Rebecca.. Ageing is inevitable so we may as well embrace it!
That’s true Rebecca, if we embrace and accept the changes it is enjoyable. I know the more times I traverse around the sun, the more I learn about myself, others and the true reality of life which is ever and increasingly amazing and beautiful. To me ageing is not really about my ageing body and skin, it is about the new opportunities for deepening my sense of joy, love in relationships, connection to all around me and living it all more and more in every step.
Dianne, I really love this blog – your expression really says it the way it is. It’s beautiful, full of wisdom and for me I sense much playfullness in calling out the ridiculousness of what we allow ourselves as elders, to be in receipt of in the way of inuendoes and ideal systems that would have us believe that we simply are just not good enough any more – and we had better get our act together forthwith, pull a few rabbits out of the hat, and magically by the use of this pill, potion or pouting lips be restored to the illusionary former glory of our porcelain like skin, boundless energy supported financially by a money tree that never drops its’ leaves – and that is only the women!
Ha ha, totally agree Roberta. It IS ridiculous that there is any pressure for us, elders, to look anything other than the gorgeousness that we are. It would be awesome to feel that together, we can all embrace the process of ageing with grace and joy, naturally.
So true Alison and Roberta. Here’s to lots of fun and laughter as we all enjoy being the amazing wise elders that we are!
Yeah it is ridiculous to have that pressure on women ageing.. It’s beautiful there are so many women commenting here in support of what Dianne has written.
I also remember being told to respect my elders when they were behaving less than respectful. I would offer my respect dutifully but at the same time judging what I could not ignore. The elderly person would appreciate the gesture, but immediately feel that it was false, and usually demand more respect, to justify living the way they do as if they deserve it after all they have been through.
We have to show the elderly (and others for that matter) a genuine respect. Then they too will realize the harm of the youth obsessed society and that it is okay to age gracefully with genuine respect and dignity.
I grew up feeling the incongruity of being told to respect my elders when they were in disrespect of others around them, but of course there were those who I respected in an instance because of the way they were and not only that I held a love for them too. Its true that as youth culture pervades and getting older is seen as a curse we absolutely need to reverse this trend. As you say Bernard, “it is okay to age gracefully with genuine respect and dignity.”
Totally agree with that Rachel, I can relate and Bernard what a great little quote, thank you
‘What would happen if the cosmetic services were all taken away – how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living? Gone would be the artificial surface ‘beauty’. The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up.’
I suspect this would make a lot of us rather uncomfortable, to say the least.
I have never been a big make up user. At the age of 54, I very rarely use foundation. Not that I have anything against it, I just enjoy the natural glow of my skin and don’t feel the need to cover it up. As I’ve become older, I really enjoy using different creams, to feed my skin. Not to try and change the way I look, but just to take care of what I have and appreciate my own delicateness as I age, with grace.
Dianne; you are a true role model for women of all ages when like you say there are precious few that have mastered ageing gracefully. There is much wisdom in seeing the impositions of society as being harming and unnatural. Then it is easy to pay them no heed and get on with a natural life.
Dianne with violet and turquoise striped hair….will she, won’t she? For me that’s irrelevant, it’s that you hold it as a possibility.
I totally agree the loss of some physical attributes as I age is far outweighed by re-finding my freedom to be me.
Beautifully written Dianne, ‘I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’
I don’t know any elders in my immediate family as all grandparents passed on many years ago. However, in the community of friends that I have come to meet and love through Universal Medicine events, I have come to understand what a true elder is. They are graceful and they also have a spark, a twinkle in their eyes that says to me – youth is not it, we are timeless and eternal by living the truth of who we are.
‘we are timeless and eternal by living the truth of who we are.’ Beautiful Jinya – so much so it has to be repeated!
Jinya… That was so beautifully said.. I absolutely agree with you, thank you.
Beautiful Jinya, this is very profound, thank you!
Beautiful Jinya…I love this ‘youth is not it, we are timeless and eternal by living the truth of who we are’.
Thank you Dianne for your wonderfully relevant and timely blog. I remember being young and desperately trying to act and be older. Why? in the days long before youth were ‘visible’, they lacked contemporary role models and so slavishly followed the lives of those who had achieved some kind of ‘heroic’ status, whether on the battlefield or the sports field, or in the burgeoning field of pop music. Occasionally, some of the more inspirational teachers at school, all of whom had been in the war, would achieve universal adoration but not very often. I’ve heard people say, “the best age to be is the age you are” , and I broadly agree with this.
I agree with this Jonathan, ‘“the best age to be is the age you are”, I hear young children wanting to be ‘big boys’ or ‘big girls’ and older people wanting to still be young, rather than accepting and celebrating the age we are.
I like that saying too.. Thanks for sharing. It reminds me to embrace the age I am and not think I have to wait to a certain age before I can do or express certain things, but I can be my age and be all of me.
The elders I have such respect for are those that continue to embrace life and not let life run away from them. There is something admirable about those who remain sharp and lucid into their later years as what they allow is for all their wisdom to be very accessible. Something that is not possible if we shut down or give up. Having worked with older people I have come across all manner of people, what I find most inspiring is the older people who are still open to learning and building on the wisdom they have acquired.
Absolutely Stephen.. It’s the elders that are living their truth and wisdom that express their love and don’t cap themselves with age that I am forever admiring and of course would not offer anything less than respect.. For how could you not respect this kind of elder?
Thank you Dianne for reminding us of our role we play as we move into our elder years. I used to feel the same as you when I was younger that it didn’t make sense to respect grown ups including parents and teachers when they were not behaving in a way that showed respect. As I have got older I am learning the responsibility I have to the younger generation to show that there is a way to grow old gracefully and accept who I am and what is true for me now, rather than holding onto who I was 20 years ago.
“For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm.”….same for me too Dianne.
I can imagine how limited you would feel if you didn’t accept that you were ageing… Like wow.. It must feel so freeing to not have that limit on yourself now
It is beautiful to see another person simply being themselves irrespective of age. There is an ease about them that emanates a confidence and a innate knowing that they are so much more than just a body.
So often I hear women talk about getting old with dread. And I see many women cope with it in different ways. What this blog shows, is the true meaning of ageing with grace.
Dianne this is a great topic of discussion and very inspiring for me to continue my journey of claiming more of me and being able to express from my essence.
It has been my observation that a younger person can embody elder energy if they have lived truth consistently and thereby offer this reflection to others by virtue of the their living way. Hence, ‘elder’ is somewhat of a misnomer as it describes the quality of life lived (wisdom) that is able to be imparted to another and not the number of years that have been endured in a life not lived in truth.
Lianne Thank you. Someone I know carried a depth of being, steadiness and wisdom often associated with elders, she was five years old and awesome. Now in her late twenties she still carries these qualities.
Showing that wisdom is not about age but wise choices lived.
Well said Leanne!
Well said Liane, ‘elder’ is a quality that can be expressed by anyone, young and old, if they have chosen to take complete responsibility for their lives, choices and actions. It certainly is not an automatic by-product of survival. The two expressions have a very different feel and it is very natural to respect the elder energy expressed by those who have chosen truth and love in their lives.
I’ve observed this too Liane. It is the consistent lived wisdom of a person at any age.
I totally agree Liane, it is not necessarily the older generations that have wisdom to share and benefit others, we can all connect to the truth and help each other.
I’ve seen people at a young age live with a wisdom seemingly beyond their years, and conversely, people who act immature and irresponsible in their adult years. This shows that wisdom is something known and lived and doesn’t come with the number of years lived.
Thankyou Dianne for choosing to claim the true essence of what it is to be an elder; ‘they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.’ For without this reflection of such truth lived, the younger generations have only a lie to look to and base their future moves upon.
This is a hugely important blog Dianne for a start being forced to respect your elders when some don’t do anything to earn that respect is nonsense, this happened to me a lot when I was young and I got clipped round the ear on many occasions for saying how it was instead of conforming to this so called respect. Why is it that people so desperately try to cling onto their youth when growing old gracefully is far more beautiful.
Isn’t strange that when a child doesn’t respect an elder because they can clearly see that the actions are not worth respecting that the child is punished for it rather than the elder being pulled up for their behaviour? Being respected is dependent upon a person’s choices and actions not their age. I know many young people who I have a great respect for, because they are making some astoundingly wise choices in their young lives. I too am being inspired by the elders in my life who are truly embracing their grace and wisdom and living it to the full. Both age groups are breaking the mould in terms of what it means to be young or old, by living what is real and what is called for – Love.
“Being respected is dependent upon a person’s choices and actions not their age.” – absolutely, Rowena! Being an elder does not mean for a moment any kind of superiority over others of any age. No matter how old we are we are always students of life, there is always more to learn, to wake up to, to let go of, to claim, to expand into, and further to go with awareness and understanding. I learn from younger people every day (babies, my friends in primary school, teenagers, young adults) and have great respect for them and what they bring. Some of the limitations we ‘oldies’ grew up with are not issues for our youth so they have less blocks and a clearer understanding of some of the things that we struggle with. Conversely, they have issues now that we did not have, so we can give them an unfettered perspective on those. Put us all together and you expand our wisdom of life immensely!
Great points Rowena and Dianne, approaching life as a learning experience allows us to learn from everyone; this is the true beauty of ageing gracefully.
Yeah great point Kevin, I also remember people that were older then me would say respect your elders but they would say it harshly and in a way that made me feel like I am less and they have the upper hand.. It actually made me want to be older… Older then everyone so that I would get my turn of being respected but now I don’t feel like this, we are all on a journey, we are all different ages and we have many things to learn individually with each year we live. I also know I can respect myself so I don’t feel like respect is lacking in my life.
Love this Ariel, and a great point you raise when you say there is often a put down and ‘lesser than’ tied up in the harsh ‘respect your elders’ chant. Our young are often wiser, as they have not so far left who they are, but no age group is to be given our power away to blindly or ‘just because’ – everyone deserves respect, regardless of the choices they make, but those choices are to be openly discerned always, again, no matter the age, but just felt and seen, not judged.
The words ‘do as I say not as I do’ come to mind as I read your comment Kev. To me a true elder is someone who walks their talk and lives with integrity. Then respect is naturally given and force is unnecessary.
This is a very needed article Dianne and one that holds much power in where we could be as a society. Not following the trends and fully listening to your own expression and how you feel to be is without question a lost action in our world today. If we were to all step closer to what we truly feel and see how we are truly living then our choices could not but be more different in line with our natural and normal way of living.
Our society is totally lost when it comes to truly listening to our essence and living in a way that truly serves us and the rest of the world.
Absolutely agree that this blog is very needed.. I am so appreciating it and all of the comments.. Dianne you have inspired me so much and I feel blessed to be able to read this at my young age so I can grow with knowing this.
Wow – so true Ariel, having this understanding available by example from so young is indeed a huge gift.
It is so obvious isn’t it Amina, that as a society we have lost our way in listening and knowing ourselves from our essence, and living from that. We can see it in our kids and teens with alcohol and drug use, and suicide on the rise, and we see it at the other end in our older people with conditions like dementia on the rise too. Dianne’s blog is a breath of fresh air to blow away the cobwebs around what ageing is about.
Awesome comments here everyone – so much wisdom pouring forth! I used to dread getting older and also feared death like crazy – I wanted to live in this body, to stay physically strong and vital. That was before I understood about the soul, and our greater path and work than just this little physical life. My love of life had one good consequence though: I was not drawn to ‘trash myself’ with drugs and dangerous behaviours, but ‘looked before I leaped’ and often did not ‘leap’ at all if I felt something wasn’t going to be good for me or might harm others. This was in my teens and twenties in the flower power era of the late 60s and 70s and I didn’t mind being considered ‘square’ if it meant being safe and healthy! At the same time I had friends who were terrified of reaching the age of 30, and I had to talk them out of depression, giving up and suicidal thoughts. Once I got to 30 myself, I felt my power increasing and it was a big expansion and the dawning of a new awareness. Wow – this was great! This is not to say there weren’t plenty of heavy challenges and ‘bad times’ throughout my life, but they were in the circumstances of temporal life and emotions, not my deeper, essential inner life. Then I reached 40 and it was like: double wow! How much more awesome can it get? I then met Serge Benhayon and my learning about life accelerated both in terms of the physical and of the innermost. In this new awareness I reached 50 and it was like: OMG, if this is what 50 is like I can barely imagine how utterly amazing it must be to be 60 or 70 or 80!!! During all these wow’s as I got older, I was barely aware that there was a gentle progression of letting go attachment to physical body life and fear of death, and a growth of the awareness of how much more there is to a human, to myself, that can’t be summed up by the way the body looks and performs, or by wealth or achievement or any other worldly measure. I was seeing, understanding and appreciating everything, even the most subtle nuances of myself and people and situations in an exponential way that I felt had no limit. I now know for sure that indeed it has no limit, and there is immense lightness and joy in feeling the magnitude of the future coming to me, to all of us!
Wow Dianne, you have certainly lifted the lid big time on all the myths that lead us to believe that all there is to getting old is a slippery decline in all aspects of ourselves. I can fully appreciate your WOW factor at getting older, how you are going to feel at 60, 70 and 80, you are restoring the gold to the Golden Years. I know for myself too that meeting Serge Benhayon has resulted in a complete transformation of my life, health, outlook and vitality and as I approach 50 I feel fitter, healthier and more joyful than at any time in my life to date. So roll on the next 10, 20, 30 years plus and lets see how much more expansion and connection we can achieve as we mature gracefully into our elder years in order to express as much truth, love and wisdom as we can while we are here.
I agree Rowena, Dianne has totally lifted the lid here. You are both exposing that you don’t only feel vital, fit and beautiful if you are youthful and ‘look’ youthful, you are both absolutely glowing and that is only growing!
It sure does change the way we view getting older! Far from the old aged decrepid person needing all sorts of medical intervention simply to stay alive. Having role models shows people it is possible to live a truly loving life right to your last breath, no need to fear old age or dying anymore!
A big wow Dianne for lifting the lid here. And rowenakstewart, I so relate to what you’ve said here. I’ve just this year turned 50 and if I had to have a t-shirt printed, it would say ‘yep, amazing at 50…lookout 60!!!!
You are just so inspiring Dianne. It’s evident to me that the ‘norm’ appears to be people aging and their world becoming smaller as their bodies follow suit. But here you are, along with many others who are turning this age old custom around simply by making different choices and living according to the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon. My life has changed too since meeting Serge – just when I think life can’t get any more awesome, it goes to a whole new level of awesomeness! Now I’m in my 50’s I can honestly say that this decade is proving to be the best, simply because I’m choosing to embrace life and let go of the hurts that have kept me stuck firmly in the past. As I continue to let go of attachments to this life, I am forever inspired to see and feel how others like yourself are leading the way and proving that the only limits there are,are the ones we make for ourselves.
Wow Heather you make me want to be 50! As do a lot of other students of Universal Medicine in a decade above mine, 50, 60 ,70 80; they all look like they are having the time of their lives! Embracing life makes for an excellent ageing antidote.
Well said Heather… It’s up to us if we are going to make limits for ourselves. It’s lovely to read this from you as I am 18 and knowing I have many years ahead of embracing each year rather than dreading it.
Beautiful Ariel. How wonderful to have this level of wisdom at such a tender age, and to know that with each passing year your love will deepen, offering a true and gorgeous reflection to others.
I totally agree Heather, I am also LOVING the 50’s. The more I let go of old patterns, ideals and beliefs I am feeling so much more spacious, fuller of me, not ‘stuff’ that I was given to believe in, that never belonged to me.
I met Serge Benhayon in my mid-fifties and was not particularly concerned about getting old. I just viewed it as a natural progression that one went through but also was in denial of the reality. With meeting Serge, however, that is all changed. I now have a commitment and engagement in life I never had before. Now at the age of nearly 64 I am fitter and healthier than ever before. I may not get fitter and healthier as I grow older but my joy and appreciation of life I only perceive as growing and deepening. So for me ageing, death and dying is not something to dread but just another phase in this amazing journey of life.
How inspiring Jonathon, it seems your have totally changed the way you are in your life. I love how you describe it as a journey and not something to dread. Thank you for your comment.
Having met you several times Jonathan, and one of those was recently, I can say for a man of 64 years, you look incredibly healthy and fit, and your way about you is ageless. That is so very inspiring in a world where this is not the norm.
Awesome sharing Dianne, I have never feared death, only getting old and feeble, but as you have so brilliantly described, now understanding the Ageless Wisdom and the potential we have inside, the journey only deepens and becomes more and more wonderful. It is so much easier to accept aging gracefully knowing that our awareness and wisdom can unfold without limit should we choose.. and this is the same for absolutely everyone.
Agreed Annie, our awareness and wisdom can unfold without limit if we make that choice, and making that choice certainly becomes very potent as we age. I love the sense of deepening wisdom as I get older and wiser, what I needed when I was younger is not the case now so there is no conflict.
I totally agree with what you have said Annie, I love how this is being described as a wonderful process… Life continues… You do not have to be thrown to the side if you are ageing, you are growing with more depth and beauty.
Getting old and become feeble is a choice we make. I have seen so many variations in the ageing process and it is always related to the approach to life we have. If we accept we are going to be weak then that is what we will become. What I like about the ageless wisdom teachings is that everything is about engaging in life which makes the decline of our strength that much less inevitable. I also feel this is strongly related to our awareness which is enhanced when we take in all that is going on around us and choose not to disengage.
Wow Dianne, reading about your appreciation of your potential in life is totally inspiring. It asks why do we let aging put us into a box of ways that are being considered normal when we can live extraordinary ordinary lives.
Dianne, this is super inspiring to embrace getting older as a means of stepping into more wisdom, truth and love.
I have had all these fears you speak about Diane and I still have many of them. To hear you speak about the joy of ageing is already a sign of an elder passing on wisdom to others who need it.
Dianne, if I have said it before I will say it again, you are a truly inspirational role model in so many ways. I love the way you see the world and life, a perspective that aspires to hold all as equals in love at whatever their state of evolution. You do not live by ideals and beliefs of anyone outside yourself but only by what you feel is true. I love the way you are just YOU regardless of how the world tells you you should be. You have an eternal youthfulness about you which I know will remain as it comes from your essence. Thank you for shining your light and showing the way.
Beautiful Dianne, this could be another blog!
WoW Diane! Let’s talk about the elder years, no one does and if they do it’s often laced with fear: physical and mental decline. With your connection to soul you’re still celebrating and we feel your joy. I fully breathed life, all of it, when I turned 60 and yes it is also an amazing WoW for me too. I relate very much to when you said this: ‘I was seeing, understanding and appreciating everything, even the most subtle nuances of myself and people and situations in an exponential way that I felt had no limit’. There are no limits!
True Doug, gorgeous summary.
This is glorious Dianne. Like you, when I was a young man I feared getting older. The thought of being 51 was dreadful! Yet, being 51 is in fact wonderful and life has a true purpose I wasn’t consciously aware of when I was in my teens and early twenties. The saying ‘growing old gracefully’ has real meaning now and I know is something we can all choose.
I have to agree Dianne it just gets better and better. Each decade topping the last and then after meeting Serge in my 40’s the better got off the Richter scale better as through Universal Medicine I could understand even more about myself, life and others. Next year I turn 60 and I have to pinch myself as I feel more love of myself, more confident in myself and much more comfortable in my own body. As a result I feel more love for humanity at large than ever before in my life. Definitely not what I expected from looking at the role models I had as a child.
Dianne, thank you for your sharing. Becoming older offers us to collect experiences and learn from them instead of ingraining what is not true or is not loving in our lives.
And the beauty and power that lies in sharing this gained experiences with others is so enormous. Seeing what someone has lived and how he is because of that now can be an huge inspiration.
Thanks heaps Dianne for this inspirational blog
I love how you have expressed here;
“I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others”.
Thank you Dianne this is such an awesome blog for someone like myself as I come into my elder years. I now am looking forward to this, you have really inspired me to give myself permission to accept more resposibitlily and act with this wisdom and allow this elder to unfold and develop naturally.
Michael it’s inspiring to read your and other comments about welcoming with Joy becoming older and what this offers and the wisdom that supports the younger generations. The complete opposite of the fear of growing old and resistance to this natural part of the cycle that the media have a field day with.
I love your blog Diane, It simply draws a line in the sand, a defining article about the truth of aging, and the exquisite beauty of acceptance and elder energy. In particular, your words ..” I do whatever I can to naturally support my body with nourishment and nurturing so it can be as well as it can and the inner wellbeing can show on the outside as my natural beauty” provided a stop and re-read a few times as it offers nurturing and nourishment of self as two ways of ‘where and how to start’. Nourishment and nurturing of self are certainly two loving ingredients of self care.
What a beaut imagining – “Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity”. Oh that would be so beautiful, and I am grateful that you and other elders are starting to lead the way with this. Thank you.
Thank you for your wise words Dianne. And I love your description of how you have chosen to live “morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul” What a great role model you are of aging gracefully, reflecting lived wisdom and blessing the world with the Elder energy.
Thank you Dianne and I am inspired.
Being an elder is a responsibility. The responsibility to express the lived wisdom no matter our chronological years. There is no one face to an elder, but what is true is the acceptance of ourselves and to truly express. Just as many elders may choose to chase and perpetuate youth, others may choose to alter their appearances to look more aged. The wisdom of an elder is not in how we look per say, it is within our hearts and our bodies, and how fully we choose to express that.
It is true that in knowing truth how can we look up to elders or people society tells us to respect, if they do not reflect truth?
I was just in a group meeting where there was deep wisdom shared by the ‘Elders’ in the group. I could feel their years of lived experience in what they were sharing and I was feeling a lot of gratitude for what they have to offer. In no way do I view these people as elderly, not one bit because they are fit in their body and mind and young at heart, but I am coming to deeply appreciate what the ‘Elder’ energy is and learn from those around me.
Such grace and wisdom delivered here Dianne, what you share is so poignant to all of us, young and old, and the consciousness of “youth worship” will inevitably loosen its grip when older people live their truth. Go for it-
Dianne thank you for sharing your elder wisdom with us. You make such a powerful point about the damaging cycle we perpetuate when we hold all women to the same idealised standard of beauty which is of course associated with youth. As a not quite there elder, I am constantly inspired by the ever evolving group of elder women within the student body of Universal Medicine who are wise, joyful, sexy, playful, beautiful, and all round AMAZING.
Having role models around me is such an important part of my life. I have role models that are both older and younger so even this breaks down the idea that role models need to be older than we are. How inspiring is it when a young person has made the choices that mean they are a role model to the older generations.
I love what you write here Vicky! I too feel very blessed that I have true role models – young and old – in my life. They are my inspiration to keep learning and evolving.
I feel the majority of people in our society have forgotten that we live in cycles – we’re born and we die, and our physical bodies change constantly throughout the cycle – nature is a perfect reflection and reminder of this.
Acceptance of who we truly are is a massive key in life and this I am learning more and more from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
What an amazing, inspiring and powerful blog. I too grew up with this expectation of me to always respect my elders. There was a set belief in my upbringing that your age defined where you stand in the family and socially. The focus was not one of equality but ranking and order. This left me feeling pressured and to feeling less as a child. This didn’t make sense to me but I chose to conform to the rules anyway. Your blog Diane is absolutely amazing and in exposing the illusion and harmful ways in which many of us are choosing to live, disconnected to who we are and to others.
I feel the grace with which you’ve written this Dianne, and the growing acceptance of yourself in an ageing body. Very beautiful – thank you.
Yes me too Ariana, I am finding dressing to be much more fun than when I was young and insecure wanting to fit in with others or stand out. That old saying, “youth is wasted on the young”, often comes to mind when I see young people struggling to appreciate just how beautiful they truly are.
Dianne, I can see now how we have not valued what our elders can provide to the younger generations if they but allow that natural wisdom to come out and be shared without trying to maintain youthful appearances and traits. If one was to also accept the possibility of reincarnation, then perhaps elders would not hold onto youthful traits and ideals with such a death grip. You’ve shown a new way forth that honors our elders and could open up a better relationship between them and younger generations.
The thing with ‘youth culture’ is that it is a falsity even for ‘the youth,’ since it is a given set of ideals that encourages not only separation between generations, but separation from oneself, irrespective of one’s chronological age. Refusing to entertain this as one ages seems to me eminently sensible as it leaves one free to be who they are on the inside.
Thank you Dianne. There is definitely a difference between an Elder and an elderly person because not all elderly people are Elders. To be an Elder requires you to have learned some of life’s lessons and then to be able to impart what you have learned onto another. In that way there is an ease that comes with being an Elder.
So true, Elizabeth. I have met some ‘young’ people who are already elderly in the sense that they are already in ‘giving up on life’ energy. Hopefully they will be inspired by an elder.
Beautiful the distinction you bring to the fore, Elizabeth. Elders are great reflections and gorgeous to be around, especially if they haven accepted and embraced their aging and wisdom.
Thank you Dianne, you remind and confirm to me that each and every one of us is naturally in true elder energy when we accept ourselves in full and live that wisdom and knowing with all.
I am so loving re-reading this post, Dianne. “I have come to understand that an elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” Since attending Universal Medicine courses I have come to understand the opportunity of accepting every stage of life that I am – and we are – at, and also appreciating it for what it is – and who I (we) truly are.
It is so important for us to claim our elder years. What other option is there except to give up on life?
Our body is our superannuation as it will be with us throughout our lifespan. How we treat it in our youthful times impacts on how we will feel in our elderly times. What you have shared here Dianne I feel applies to us all at any age. The way in which we live has consequences, loving ones where we are vital and vibrant or unloving ones where life is a constant effort and draining us. The beauty is we have the choice.
Dianne – you pack a lot into one blog – I’ll be re-viisting many times! I can absolutely relate to your opinion of ‘elders’ when you were younger. I felt exactly the same. What I wasn’t aware of then was how important elders are to me and how much I enjoy ‘respecting my elders ‘ – though of course they have to be deserving of my respect. And this is the key. Having met many true elders through Universal Medicine – yourself being a shiny bright, amazing, glowing, gorgeous example – I am now feeling what an immense blessing it is to be in their company and allow myself to truly respect them. It is a huge healing for me and I can feel weight coming off my shoulders as I bask in their wisdom and grace. Most simply, it is beautiful to feel like a child in the presence of another – but without any of the garbage which that involved when I was younger.
I agree Otto. What a gorgeous gift our elders are – it is truly inspiring for me to have true elders in my life and to know the difference between elder and older. Some of my elders are actually younger than me – but their lived wisdom and integrity continually inspire me to embrace all that I am, and to live my full potential as they so do.
The answer to our infatuation with cosmetic surgery is simple. We value what is on the outside more than what we value on the inside.
I love the way you have made me far more aware of my responsibility as an ‘elder’. Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful Dianne what an enriching claiming and awesome sharing of the true and wonderful journey of ageing. This is an inspirational and real account of all we can treasure as a society for both ourselves and everyone appreciating ourselves life and the wisdom we can share and live in our every expression as we age gracefully and lovingly.Appreciation is the key and the reflection and the claiming of our natural beauty and essence. The way of the past beliefs and ideals on ageing and passing over needs to be re imprinted and the real truth beauty and wisdom reclaimed for ageing and the joy of this naturally honoured . Thank you for such a joyous powerful writing.
Awesome Dianne – I never really though about how the way our elders approach growing old – either gracefully or doing everything in their power to resist, has an affect of the next generations perceptions of growing old. I am watching my mother grow old gracefully, and its amazing to see – the reflection our older generation can give – with all their lived wisdom, would be a really game changer
Agree Rebecca what a beautiful example your mother inspires in you towards eradicating issues of insecurity or lack of self-worth/value due to increasing age or wrinkles, but instead instilling complete power and grace through the lived wisdom of herself and the soul.
It is pretty awesome – and more so she inspires my friends as well, who look to her as their own mother figure and see the grace and wisdom she is and adore her for it.
Deeply inspiring Rebecca. We are so blessed by those who embrace ageing with a depth of grace and a solidity of presence and lived wisdom that cannot be denied. This is not something that I see as ‘commonplace’ whatsoever in these times, making it all the more poignant and powerful to see women such as your mother absolutely beautiful and flourishing.
I am inspired to embrace my own ageing by such women and men myself – the tables have indeed been turned on a dull acceptance of retreat and shutting down of oneself as one ages. Rather, it is absolutely awesome to embrace ageing in full, and appreciate all the more deeply, the cycles of life which continue to go ’round and ’round…
Awesome Victoria – the more people reflecting that ageing is a graceful process, the better.
Absolutely agreed Rebecca. I regularly go into the local large aged care facility (facilitating a singing group, which is awesome), and get to see a lot in regards to ageing and how we do/don’t embrace it. It really brings home the opportunity we all have – now – to embrace ourselves with the deepest love we know, and go deeper in life… A life lived without meaning now, and left unaddressed, will only become all the more empty as we go on.
And yet, as I’ve also found, it’s never ever too late to discover who you are, and a joy in life and one’s expression. We most certainly need to bring ageing far more into the open, have more discussions about what goes on, how we hide our elder population away (as a rule), and about the fact that how we can choose to live now, can make a true difference for the whole of our lifetime, and the next, and so on… For the subject of reincarnation is something that most definitely needs to be brought to the table here – big time.
What more inspiring role model could there be than someone living from their innermost essence and “seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.”
Absolutely Rosanna, and there is no age limit for someone to live from their innermost essence and “see and do life from the perspective of the soul. This can happen at any age.
I feel all people deserve respect however children should not be made to respect unloving behaviour.
I agree Johanna, you are spot on. Unloving behaviors are harmful and making children respect that is like say ‘yes’ and agreeing with it. What message does this give to our children?
A beautifully written sharing Dianne. Thank you. I personally have never feared growing older, can feel those who are true elder role models around me and have always wanted to naturally grow old gracefully. I think if life is this amazing at this age, just how amazing and wise will it feel when I am older. I know that I have taken responsibility to connect more to myself, live from my soul and support my body in the last nine years I have seen, felt and know of the true benefits this has all had. I appreciate me for me and I will continue to do so as I age.
Very true Doug, I can definitely relate to that feeling when you’re little and you’re told to respect your elders or always put them before yourself but then you get confused because the way that they’re living is not always up to scratch..
“And it is certainly true that ageing people who do not accept themselves for who they are, are less likely to embrace the wisdom and service they can bring as they age to become true role models. ” Why fight what we cannot change or control? Life is a journey from beginning to end.
Well said Michelle. Why go against what we can’t change or control? When I read that line, I realize how ridiculous it actually is that we even try. In the end life, nature takes over anyway. It is just a delay. A delay of a natural cycle. Could this be a reflection of a deeper fear, the fear of dying, endings, of no more me? Or is it an arrogance that we think we can play God, go against nature? Interesting questions to ponder upon.
Yes great questions. As a child I recall watching films where people where trying to live forever, seeking immortality as a way to ‘beat’ death. But when one accepts reincarnation as our true way, we then have the opportunity to seeing passing over as part of a cycle, and the aging process is something we can choose to do with dignity, responsibility and grace.
I feel that most of us fight this journey because we are not living in truth and in a loving way. And not accepting of who we are leads to this harmful way of life full of never ending false expectations. How exhausting and damaging this is on individuals and society? This blog shows us that we can choose to be more loving and to be responsible. It is truly inspirational and power when we choose love and truth.
Great to read this blog again, what came to me was how there is almost like an expectation that growing old means you become invisible and insignificant, as though there is no purpose for being here, so what you are describing here Dianne totally blows that belief out of the water.
Lovely description of ‘morphing’…”It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.” Life’s about how we are feeling from the inside out, not the other way around…great reminder that with age we have an opportunity to share our wisdom and lived experience.
Dear Dianne this is a great anthem to growing older. I am in my sixties and fully concur with everything you have written.
I in my short life have lived to see the first transistor portable radios to Iwatch’s.
It is just now I am seeing the real me, and being be. So many years wasted being something else, for someone else. It is never to late or too early to always be yourself.
I agree wholeheartedly. It’s never too late, nor too early, to be all that we are. And this relates to those who claim their lived experience and wisdom as elders and true role models. I have met those I would call an ‘elder’ who are actually quite young in years, and also those of more ‘advanced’ age… It’s really about the qualities someone holds – of lived wisdom, deep understanding and an ability to be detached from enmeshment in what goes on for others, yet hold people in such a love that they can’t but know that ‘all is seen and understood’.
My life has been indelibly changed through relationships I have with true elders. May there be many, many more who stand as Dianne is here, in all of her strength, fragility and wisdom…
I love what you have shared Ariana as it shows that getting older is something to truly celebrate and embrace rather than dread and avoid.
This is a wonderful dedication to our elders and absolute recognition of the wisdom they provide. I grew up visiting many great aunts and uncles and was surrounded by elders – as a young person the steady presence and support this brought me is still palpable today. That was forty years ago however, and I love how this article not only makes us aware of the absolute blessing we can receive from our elders but how the ageing process is less welcomed these day which denies the opportunity to accept the grace, beauty and wisdom which elders bestow the earth with.
Wow Ariana, your comment oozes the playfulness and the glorious woman that you are.
What a gorgeous blog Dianne, so many stand out lines, but today what lept from the screen was the quality of this: ‘Elder role models that glow with the grace, wisdom, poise and responsibility that can come from age’ – a tangible and truly beautiful description of what is possible, and yet with all the facrtors you so clearly describe, all too uncommon at this juncture. Thank heavens for ladies like you and others willing to lead the way gladly glowing with grace, wisdom, poise and responsibility.
Awesome Diane, I love the words you shared here “…This decline in physical abilities changes the focus on how I am living …” I can totally relate to this. The focus on the way we live our day is certainly a gear changer in the way we move through life… living life with and from the perspective of the soul is moving in God’s speed, that is, with love.
In my younger years respect, in particular for those many years older than us as kids, was something not only expected but often demanded, this I also found confusing. If someone lived without respect for themselves how could they expect it from another? Having elders around me today that do walk in the grace and true beauty they have chosen to connect to within themselves, are those I aspire to. Gorgeously inspiring blog Dianne thank you.
Thank you Dianne. There is so much bombardment from the world to conform to that youthful look that it’s easy to lose sight of the true beauty and grace of ageing. Your article is a beautiful reminder of how our focus can be on the wisdom, grace and acceptance of who we are and on the service this brings to the world. Imagine if being Elder was another stage to look forward to.(and it is.) There would be a whole level of anxiety gone from the world. Now that would feel amazing.
Amanda I am so looking forward to being an Elder because of the service it can bring. It brings on a whole new perspective to old age and without wishing my life away it is something I feel incredibly positive about. To know I can make the choice to live out my final decades in grace, wisdom and service leaves me feeling so open and spacious that I honestly can’t wait!
I have innately felt the same, I stopped dying my hair sometime ago because I couldn’t justify the huge expense but also because I feel strongly that I want to go beautifully grey when the time comes and not expend my energy on dying my hair to appear younger.
You have taken this topic much deeper for me this morning Dianne, describing the living of your innermost rather than from your outermost essence. I certainly do find your experience a role model to aspire to and I can start by appreciating the lines I am finding on my face in my late thirties rather than wishing they weren’t there.
Hello Dianne Trussell and this is a great blog that really lifts the lid on getting old. There is certainly a push for the old to be new again around us but at what cost and what are we missing? I think your last line is saying a lot, “This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to.”
Being a woman about to turn seventy, I really relate to your blog, Dianne. I have been caught in the consciousness of ageing and I find that my face more easily reveals how I am feeling than it did when I was younger – so if I am tired I can look old and wizened. Yet if I am feeling the joy in my body an inner glow shines through which has an ageless quality and I can look quite young. So it seems to me that what I see reflected to me from the mirror is a result of the choices I have made.
I have turned seventy Sandra, and find that age is not about how I look, or what I wear ( today it’s leggings and a baggy T-shirt with a tiger’s head on the front), it’s about living in a caring and respectful way in my body, so that that inner glow will shine for all to see. I have tended to cover those wrinkled arms of mine, but that’s something for me to work on. I love my other wrinkles and the way my body gently ‘sags’ into itself, and trust I have let go of the foolishness of youth, while retaining the playfulness.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience Catherine.
Catherine. Seventy is just an age you reach in this life. I am may be slightly older than you good self, but I feel great. I feel as good now as I did in my 40’s and 50’s
We may have a few more wrinkles, but just keep looking in the mirror and say to yourself each and everyday, I am such and amazing person, and enjoy what you see.
I love your comment Mike, great advise “just keep looking in the mirror and say to yourself each and everyday, I am such and amazing person, and enjoy what you see”.
How true Sandra – ‘the inner glow’ is what is truly seen – or the absence of it should that be our choice.
Wow, this is great and certainly something I can aspire to, thank you Dianne! I love seeing older people who are really embracing themselves and their power and sharing that with the rest of society.
Yes Fiona, me too! I am now approaching 45 and I can feel the wisdom accrued in my lived experience. Whilst I am embracing myself as an attractive woman, for me the main focus is not on my appearance but most certainly on living with grace. I too would love to join Dianne in time in the ranks of a beautiful elderly woman, not weak and dismissed, but powerful, strong and loving. The key to this is to live it now!
I agree Fiona, its unusual but very inspiring to see older people who are totally at ease with themselves and who fully embrace who they are, with no apology or cover up of their age.
This to me seems like a pretty good definition of a true elder: “I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.”
‘I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully.’
Dianne this is a wonderful choice you make and if we all began to switch the focus imagine the world?
Ageing in grace is one of the most powerful gifts we can give ourselves and others. We can offer inspiration to those that will follow us someday. Being an elder with a deep sense of self worth is a powerful, beautiful and much needed thing in society. BRING it ON. 🙂
I am sure many of us have deeply missed having the wisdom of elders in our society. They are still around, yes, but I remember times of old when elders were more revered and appreciated by people in general.
Your blog reminds me of a commitment I have vowed… to do everything in my power to embrace my god given wisdom and contribute something truly supportive for our generations to come.
Agreed entirely Kathryn. There is no hiding nor ‘fading away’ in Dianne’s claiming of herself as a true elder here – only the sense of deepest wisdom and the true beauty of a woman who is willing to stand as all she is, embrace herself, tenderly look after her body, and be fully seen and accessible to all, including the younger generation. ‘Bring it on’ Dianne, absolutely!
Indeed Kathryn bring it on! Living soulfully is surely the only purpose in life worth living.
Yep! I’ll aspire to that! Thanks Dianne.
You covered it all. Great to read this and it feels really confirming to me. Aging with grace and sharing wisdom to really serve and flourish in the elder years…in every age thats really something to aspire to and be inspired from. I enjoy seeing this at the Universal Medicine courses and I so want to get rid of any ounce in me that is still having one of the aspects and wrong ideals you describe in your blog. Thank You for expressing so clearly. With love Nadine
This is fantastic and rearly spoken about. And for sure not from the perspective you are sharing from. WoW – we need more of these conversations. When feeling and hearing this I can feel myself become less resistant to the fact : that everyone is ageing. I love the sentence: “It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul. It brings the soulful aspect to life, living from soul, not from a fear of becoming older”.
I love what you have written here- you are indeed an elder role model for the whole word!!!
I love how we are all role models…every single one of us. Every choice we make is communicating so much to all we know and all we don’t know. How important is it then to seek true role models and not be fooled by what may be only an outer appearance.
Indeed Vicky we are all potential role models no matter what our age, depending on whether our choices reflect the truth of who we really are.
And what an inspiration you are Dianne. I really enjoyed reading your blog, such an invitation to embrace ageing living from our essence within, with love care and honouring. Thank you.
What you share about the inevitable ageing process is beautiful. Sign of ageing are so often seen as something bad. Why this is so is a little strange if you really feel into to it.
At any point in our lives we can make the choice to live gracefully, wisely and soulfully. The older generation can support the younger and inspire them to do so, but by no means it is limited to the elders to live in such a way.
‘This claiming of my elder years cycle’ that feels such a lovely and yet powerful statement to make, its a true commitment to the opportunity we are offered.
A great read Dianne. I love what you said about as the body ages, it declines in ability and that it can encourage you to become gentler. I have already sensed that as what I could do at 18 I just wouldn’t attempt now and I need to be careful. If we accept exactly where we are right now, and act with awareness of our physical limitations, and introducing connection, this is a great foundation for the next time round.
Great blog Dianne, there are ‘elders’ I know of many different ages that simply ooze integrity, presence, grace and wisdom.
You sure are beautiful Ariana, and it shines from the inside, out 🙂
What an amazing and inspiring blog Dianne, you’ve certainly blown the idea right out of the water that getting older is an undesirable process. I hear so many people older than me complaining about what it is to get older, and not much positive feedback – which has often left me not wanting to get much older! However, as I have another birthday coming up this weekend, I can appreciate what the years have taught me thus far, and look forward to what I will learn in the years to come. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙂
Great discussion you have opened up here Dianne. I am turning 60 next year and I can say that without any reservation that I do not ever wish to be even a moment younger as every moment I learn something more about life.
Dianne, thank you for sharing such a lovely blog about acceptance of ourselves as we age. There is so much wisdom and beauty to be embraced as we age and the importance of reflecting to the world that getting old is gold.
Dianne, I love the way you write, so clear, claimed and accepting. I also really appreciate your honesty about living in an older body that requires more tenderness, care and honour. As a child my grandparents were my role models and while they each had their own insecurities, they also showed me clearly a deep and caring love. As we age with our grace and bring to the world is in full the status Quo will definitely change. You are definitely a role model that I deeply respect.
That’s what true “respecting your elders’ is… Loving them for their naturalness and who they are. Accepting the ageing progress gracefullly and respecting the physical changes that someone goes through within this process. That’s what it is and how different and awesome it would be of the world jumped on the band wagon ! I guess with the way the world is now, I can see why people don’t want to grow old. As elder people are often seen as fragile or frail and so can be taken advantage of…sad it is that way, and no wonder people try and stop the aging process.
This is an amazing blog Dianne. Being a young woman who has read many fashion magazines and is highly exposed and involved in the media, the internet and social media I have to say it’s tricky not to find the concept of getting older extremely daunting and intimidating. The reason being – as you say – the way older women are encouraged and still force themselves to look ‘youthful’ in ways that are totally disregarding, e.g. plastic surgery – particularly botox, wearing inappropriate clothing, layers of makeup and/or dying their hair to crazy colours is pretty horrendous… Yet seen as totally normal. In my opinion it is done in reaction to the stereotype that an ‘older’ woman can’t be sexy or beautiful, that grey hair is a sign of wilting and death (bit harsh but for a lot of women it’s true!) and that looser skin means any ‘sex appeal’ is long gone… This is all totally false, and I actually know many women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s who are still glowing and looking as fabulous as ever!
I love what you share here Dianne. When we traditionally think of “elders” it is normally within tribes, where their age and experience is revered and the whole village looks to them for the wisdom of their experience. When we think of life in the West this is not the norm and indeed I can so relate to what you shared at the beginning of your blog about “respect having to be earned”. It used to frustrate me so much that those calling for respect had none for themselves or for others but was demanded simply because they had lived on the planet a little longer. An Elder for me is someone who has consistently made loving choices and has a commitment to life and a dedication to humanity, sharing all that has been learned without imposition but with the wisdom of having lived it. Dianne, without wishing your life away, I can honestly say I can’t wait to see the enormous Elder Power you’ll bring through when your hair is gloriously grey!
I love the comment you make here Ariana and how glorious an ageing woman can be. I live with a couple of ageing woman and they are truly beautiful.
Our age really shouldn’t make any difference to our ‘gloriousness’.
I can’t wait to be in my elder energy after reading this, knowing that it reflects grandness and wisdom to all.
Wisdom may not of course be age related as I know many people younger than me who live in a very wise way, and sometimes I hear children say things that make me stop and really take notice. It is what we do with our lived experiences that count and how willing we are to learn from one another and not be in judgement of someone else’s choices or think someone less or more, regardless of what age they are.
Thanks Dianne, much to ponder. I feel it puts the emphasis on responsibility and choices and how they will allow us to grow old gracefully or not so .
Yes, this is an awesome blog, thank you Dianne.
Dianne this is the best article I have read on ageing…but more specifically ageing with grace and purpose. I work a lot with elderly people and one thing that I have observe is that there is a real struggle with acceptance. Acceptance that we are all growing older (and some of us will be old and really old) which leads to the fact that our bodies will at one point die. I can feel the great respect that you have for this process of ageing, but also that your intension is to treat yourself with that same respect, living in a way that supports you fully as you age. You are already a true inspiration Dianne to the young, who will look at you and be inspired by the way you are choosing to live and the joy you carry and share with others. This will be the new norm of ageing.
A great blog, Dianne. I know I can’t all of a sudden become an elder of wisdom and power and expect the world to respect me when I reach a certain age. It feels to me that it is about developing self- acceptance and self-responsibility all the way. This process never ceases. We keep seeding for the next generation – the world we will be coming back into. And what we see in the older people today – is just a reflection of what we had left behind from our previous lives.
Dianne I really appreciate your inspiring blog on aging and
being a role model. I am in my 60s and have had to learn what my body is capable of now as opposed to in my youth. Hard to accept sometimes, but it is the truth and my body appreciates being considered more often and gently and delicately treated . I do thank you for starting the discussion we all at some time will need to have.
Aaah! Dianne – what an awesome blog – I am going to read it again. Thank you.
Anything you write Dianne Trussell is amazing and this post confirms that yet again. You say a lot and I will need a few reads to comment on the whole post – well worth my time.
The first bit that really sticks out is “When they try to look artificially young in spite of the inevitable physical progress of ageing, they are (consciously or unconsciously) sending a poor message to younger people..” and your list says it all really. How on earth can we then be a true real role model for our youth of today.
That artificial trying to look young is now a mega million dollar industry and its growing.
Why is it that as we get older we do not embrace the changes of what life is offering us at that time of our life?
Why do we want to look young and stay young looking?
Why is natural ageing such a turn off for so many?
I am 53 and ageing gracefully I would say. I look a lot younger with no plastic surgery and my body and health is better than its ever been in my younger days. Thanks to the Way of Living that has been presented by Serge Benhayon, I know that lifestyle choices play a big part in our physical progress of ageing. It comes down to making responsible choices in every area of our life and committing to living life in full. It works, costs nothing and you get to feel amazing every single day.
I love the questions you ask and all you share here Bina, and like you, I also loved what is delivered with the line: “When they try to look artificially young in spite of the inevitable physical progress of ageing, they are (consciously or unconsciously) sending a poor message to younger people..”.
For me I feel that if I am living a life of care, connection with myself and my gorgeousness, aging is potentially just a celebration of all that has been lived in as much love as I’ve been capable of. When it gets confronting and uncomfortable is feeling the signs of aging (like consequences catching up with us) that come from the abusive ways I have also allowed in disregard for myself and in irresponsibility for the example set to others. Its almost like the physicality is showing how life has been lived and is a ‘reality check’ that so many of us avoid, put off, etc. If we were living and so aging as the beautiful beings we are from our inner most – aging could not but be a celebration of all that has been lived. I can even imagine there being a difference in the wrinkles with the two ways of living – one set might be sad and grey and heavy and the other full of the grace, glow and poise that Dianne so beautifully speaks of. There is litte so beautiful as someone delicately and powerfully shining in their elder years, absolute inspiration that leaves the ‘anti aging’ industries utterly superfluous.
Ariana reading this comment is glorious and what Dianne is talking about when she says we need true elder role models – you are it! Embracing life more fully than you ever have before and looking more beautiful than ever as well is a spectacular place to be in your life. There is not an ounce of ‘I’m getting old’ in your playfulness. Absolutely infectious fun.
It is true Dianne that the younger generations need true elder role models. Men and woman that have worked on themselves and have reached a point where their lived wisdom far outweighs their physical attributes. Yes the body does age, but if we live really well and within our means so to speak, the body will still be reflecting how we are living right into the ripe old years.
Dianne – you are so right in that society sees ageing people as a marketing opportunity – to sell them as many things as possible to cover up, look younger, feel younger – all of which are aesthetic (clothes, makeup, hair, even food and exercise)
So why have we allowed this to be such a huge part of growing up?
Isn’t it only possible for these insights to be true because perhaps we don’t value ourselves as much as we should as we age?
Perhaps we are insecure about wrinkles, sagging ageing in general at an aesthetic level, and therefore we give our power away to whatever can ‘fix’ this. But what about self worth, self love, allowing our wisdom and grace to claim us as we age.
It will happen to all of us, which means we all have an opportunity to see growing old differently.
Beautiful account on getting older with grace and wisdom. Yes, the world needs more true elderly role models who age naturally and embrace all the physical changes. It’s a natural process, why fight it? A lovely vision: “Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity?” I love watching elders who are confident with their age and with their elder attributes and who just shine their beauty.
Hello nathaliesterk, when I read your comment I think you sum it all up beautifully.
I really enjoyed what you shared here Dianne, as I feel it’s so true what you have expressed, so often our elders do not appreciate the wisdom they have to offer. I know I have often looked for true elder role models and they have been few and far between, but the awareness you bring is that although our bodies age physically we all have the choice to embrace and share the wisdom we have within. There is nothing more beautiful than to see men and women who have made choices to live more lovingly and while their body may be changing as they age, they themselves seem to shine from the inside out. I definitely feel we all have the opportunity to live and bring this into being and you Dianne are a shining example of what claiming our true elder wisdom looks like.
I am continually inspired by the elders in the students of the Way of the Livingness, they are becoming more gorgeous, vital, sexy, open, loving both the men and women there is much to look forward to expanding into!
There certainly are some elders leading the way within the student body, and it is heartening to see and feel. I have known one such elder for many many years now and she truly is becoming more beautiful with every passing year. Her wisdom and claimed beauty literally glow from within her, and her eyes show a depth that can melt you with one glance. Blessed by the elders we are, and inspired to embrace same for all of us as we ‘age’.
For my unfolding ageing processes I also look to the elders in the students of the Way of the Livingness as my role models. They are absolute inspirations Vanessa, and many of them look and feel much younger and more alive than many much young people I meet.
What a beautiful attitude towards getting older, you are so right when you say how we are told to ‘respect our elders’, and we look at them in horror and hope that won’t be us in 40 years. Not to say that there isn’t wisdom there, but the way we mis-treat our bodies is so apparent as we get older. And instead of getting wiser and more graceful and more open to the world, a lot of people give up on life as they get older. Thank you so much for bucking this trend and making your own way.
So true Meg. If we carry hurts within and choose to not deal with them, we can either give up or react as we get older, here born is the ‘grump old person’ syndrome.
Definitely, this blog and others similar inspire me to deal with things now, rather than waiting until old age to deal with it and giving up because it’s too late. It’s funny how we grow up almost dreading old age because of what we see happening to so many of the elderly around us, so we live with the dreading of our bodies and minds wasting away and over-place importance on our youth being more important. I find it so refreshing to read that with a responsible life growing older can be just as great as being youthful.
“It would be scary to let go of our ‘youth props’ and be exposed, vulnerable and seen as we really are: we would then have to derive our self-worth from our innermost instead of our outermost”. This is a huge observation.
Yes I agree. The ‘Youth Props’ along with all medication disguise us and trick us into thinking we are somehow healthier and more vital then what is true. Letting go of it all would be truly revealing. The health, vitality and self worth of our world would not be positive.
Yes real scary. Our some of our elders would die, a lot more would get sick. It might expose some medications that don’t actually do anything, but it wouldn’t make any difference to the real elders
I agree Jonathan, this to me is one of the biggest obstacles to society accepting ageing with grace and in truth.
It is indeed. And it can be expanded out to everyone in fact. Not just the older generation. because each age, each generation all have their ‘props’. They are all deriving their self-worth from their lives rather than from themselves. MASSIVE.
When I was younger, I often looked at older women and did not like it. What I did not like was the feeling of giving up they emanated. Like there was nothing more for them to do than to grow old. Now I still see that, but I don’t have any judgements about it. It is not whether you dye your hair or not, or any of those things, but it’s about the inner attitude: am I still fully committing to life in all its aspects? Do I live the grace that is inside and wants to come out? I understand that looking younger might give back that feeling of still participating, which is ofcourse dictated by our society. Elders don’t count so much.
I look for a balance to age gracefully and look after myself cosmetically, and yes with that comes the colour in the hair and beauticians etc. I love myself more then I did 10 years ago and I accept my body as a beautiful vessel to be here on earth.
Age is abstract and relative, as someone from 70 can ‘look’ younger then someone from 30 who gave up on life.
I totally agree and love your comment, delorme2013!
Yes I agree delorme2023. . . ‘Age is abstract and relative, as someone from 70 can ‘look’ younger then someone from 30 who gave up on life’. . . We really just have to allow ourselves to be who we are, nothing more nothing less then it is no longer about age it is more about whether or not we are fully with ourselves..
Powerful comment Simone! Maybe write a blog yourself? I absolutely agree the ‘hanging down’ feeling of elder women, the ‘grey’ radiation, the lack of joy and the giving up feeling that is what I never liked seeing in elder women. I love seeing different role models now. Women who love themselves more than before and are expressing this inner beauty and grace in everything: how they walk, sit, talk, dress, do their hair and wear make-up. And I love wisdom being shared from elder women in such a ‘present offering’ way, without any ‘I know better’.
And if the elder woman has no jealousy towards the younger generation, and no bitterness the younger generation can truly look forward to grow old!
I love this sharing deorme2013. It is very inspiring, what you share about not giving up on life as this is what zaps us of vitality and love for life. Participating and engaging in life into the elder years gives a sparkle and ever effervescence that is beyond age or ageing. Thank you for sharing.
This is a great point, delorme2013. It’s the ‘giving-up’ that is not attractive. How sad it is that our older people are re-tired and considered as a useless burden on society. No wonder they give up. Even if they have had a full working life, they often look forward to relief from the pressures of existence only to find themselves bored to tears with the mindless distractions that it is customary for older people to engage in.
Completely delorme2013, a woman who is herself and knows who she is, in spite of her age, is so appealing and very beautiful to be inspired by. Age is indeed abstract and youthfulness, or joie de vivre and vitality is in the way we live life and its quality, not the number of years a life is lived. I’ve been totally inspired by many gorgeous older women who are living love, and it certainly has dissolved any former fret over becoming older myself as I recently entered my 40’s. Because when I see the absolute grace of a woman, her steady power from all her many years of lived experience, wisdom and counsel, there is nothing more assuring.
Yes, the assurance that is felt is that of being held in her wisdom and power.
I agree delorme2013, it is not about whether you dye your hair or not, but rather it is about your inner attidtude: ‘am I still committting to life in all its aspects’? Is a great question because no matter your age or how old we are, this commitment to life and commitment to take care of self through nurture and nourishment is what keeps us young, alive an vital from the inside which allows the space for our wisdom and grace to flow out into the world….
Growing older with grace is so much more dignified than trying to hold on to youth for grim death. Everyone knows this and it makes no sense to try and be something we are not. Respect no matter what age or what you do should not be a given thing but on how we respect all of humanity and nature.
Absolutely. Forcing children to respect their elders, irrespective of the way that elder is living, behaving or treating others is such a blatant abuse of that child, because it is forcing the child to go against every feeling in its body that is telling them that the person definitely shouldn’t be respected. Kids feel everything and the squashing of those feelings is the root of so much future disharmony and pain.
Very true Otto. I was also told to ‘respect my elders’ but it was never asked with any true authority but more an aching sadness for what had not been embodied.
Spoken like a true elder Dianne Trussell. You just may be part of the renaissance of true wisdom and experience that great elders of the past had and shared with their communities. This untapped resource seems to have been forgotten in the fast moving modern world which places far more emphasis on physical appearance and function than lived wisdom. Bring it on!
Thank you Dianne I can really relate to learning ‘to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.’ As I move into the next phase of my life and let go of all the responsibilities I have loaded myself down with for so many years it feels liberating to choose to cherish my body and from there to explore how I can still be of service to the world from a different perspective. I look forward to exploring what I have to offer whilst celebrating the reality of the physical changes.
Thank you Dianne, it is so true, how can we demand that children respect their elders when their elders are clearly not respecting themselves? Your close examination of what growing older entails exposes the superficial way we address ageing, attempting to lie about our looks rather than embracing the changes and respecting the body’s natural evolution. Its true, if we remove all our props and disguises then the reality of our choices are laid bear for all to see. I am now meeting older women who are embracing and nurturing their inner qualities, truly respecting their bodies and who they truly are. They are a constant source of inspiration and wisdom, valuable friends in my life who show me my true way forward in life. There is an art to growing old gracefully and the women I meet who have connected to their soul (both young and old) are a living piece of art, who have definitely earned the right to be respected by all who meet them.
Well written Rowena, ‘the superficial way we address ageing, attempting to lie about our looks rather than embracing the changes and respecting the body’s natural evolution.’ It is also common for women to lie about their age as they get older too as if there is something shameful about being older.
Thank you Dianne for writing about an important subject as ageing, especially as the ideal out there at the moment does not paint a pretty picture – Catherine mentioned the elderly sometimes give up and having worked as a carer I often found this, especially with the elderly women who’s husbands had passed away.
I consider myself fortunate to have met women and men who are well into their elder years who have not given up and are living vitally, showing us that old age does not have to be the stereotypical norm it is currently painted.
Just beautiful, Dianne. You have captured such grace in your words and exposed a big illusion that we are fed about the expectations we are “supposed” to live up to.
Hear, hear Naren.
This is a fabulous blog about age. This is beautiful… “I have come to understand that An elder is a role model if they accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.” So powerful for those that choose this and live it.
“Imagine if all the elders expressed their true beauty, wisdom and power for the benefit of humanity? Oh boy, there would be a big shakeup of the status quo!” As a child I wanted to be like my grandmother when I got old. She was gracious, gentle and loving, people loved to be around her, I certainly did. Now as an elder myself, I embrace this phase of my life, there is still so much learning and understanding to unfold.
Your comment reminded me of my Grandmother, Bernadette. I often used to drive from London to Devon which was about 4 hours, to have Sunday lunch with her and hear family stories. Her door was never locked, everybody was welcome to stay whether family or friends and a hot casserole was always cooking slowly in the bottom of the oven in case of unexpected guests. Bedrooms were always full and you never knew who you would find at the table the next morning. Various card games were played at the table in the afternoon and tea would be on her smartest tablecloth. Money was tight as she was evacuated in the war having lost her home and all possessions but her warm welcome was always there for whoever found their way to her door.
‘Respect your elders’ doesn’t really cut it with me these day either, as there isn’t an awful lot out there to respect or be inspired by. I’m 38 and realised a while back that you don’t magically become wise with age, and it is totally dependent on the way you live your life, it’s all about choices you make, being responsible which doesn’t have to be boring, and considering others in a loving way. I still feel very young and can’t imagine that changing, but I am actually looking forward to being older as I can appreciate how much I already have to offer, which is amazing, and the more honest I am, and the more loving choices I make the more wisdom I feel.
There are many women and men that I have the pleasure of seeing at Universal Medicine courses who literally blow me away by the way they look, they are completely gorgeous, very naturally themselves, a real confidence and beauty in the way they hold themselves and those that are older make ageing look so good. The Universal Medicine before & after photo diary is a testament to this: http://www.universalmedicine.net/before–after.html
This is beautiful Laura. The way one chooses to live life determines the quality of how one ages. I also agree, I am hugely responsible for being the age of 20, but don’t feel dull and boring. I find it a joy to have so much wisdom, and still enjoy the youthfulness that I have, which I feel in truth could be lived until one dies.
This is beautiful to read Dianne and brings tears to my eyes, it is lovely that you are a true elder role model, there are so few in society. I can really feel how as we get older we get caught up in trying to stay young looking rather than accept and celebrate the natural process of ageing, what you have written turns the ageing process on its head, very beautiful and very inspiring for all ages.
Dianne there are many points I’d simply not considered by role models, I also vehemently apposed the saying “respect your elders” very much for the reasons you pointed out. Yet what comes through now when I meet or talk with those true elders who have claimed back the essence of who they are is the great wisdom and presence they bring. A real reassurance that actually life is about being not collecting the next possession and that growing old can be done in true grace and with that a real deep beauty shines out. Of course this may mean the end for many cosmetic companies and expensive face creams but the blessing society receives will more than make up for that.
From a very young age, I always loved our seniors. They had lived longer, experienced more and always had some wisdom to share. Celebrating the culture of youth worship doesn’t make any sense, it is just again a hanging on to an ideal that life is for the young. Life is for us all equally, till our very last breath.
Me too Michelle. I was very close with both of my grandmothers and so cherished there wisdom and all their life experiences. I care for a lot of elderly people in my work and have a great respect for them. It doesn’t make sense to celebrate only our youth and completely leave out our elders. Everyone has so much to offer equally, regardless of our age and this article leads the way in showing everyone how this can be done.
I agree,Jennifer, equality is the key without reference to any age whatsoever.
Life is for all – one day the young will be old too.
An awesome article Dianne, bringing so much truth on a subject that is surrounded in so much untruth and illusion. I feel very humbled after reading this and have a deeper awareness of the importance of; ‘being an elder role model’, for women who are ‘coming of age’.
There is so much to embrace as we get older but without true role models we never get to know this as a truth. This blog opens the conversation around this and offers us all, young or elder, the opportunity to embrace and celebrate every age including our elder years.
I totally agree Penny. Each stage in life has learned lived behaviour and knowing attached to it. We can all indeed learn much from each other and it is well worth starting the conversations.
Did you grow in my neighborhood? Elders were not so much respected, but given a wide birth and avoided whenever possible when I was growing up. But even with all these scary big old people around us we all remember a hand full of the ones that were different and we have never forgotten them for what they have given us and how they have inspired us to the point where we are now them.
I loved reading this blog… full of wisdom – this sentence stood out for me ”For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm” – Wow! To read about a woman who is accepting and embracing her elder years is unheard of. We certainly do need elders like Dianne Trussell to claim themselves and lead the way for the younger generation – Awesome!
I am 65 but I don’t feel old, I am just who I am. I have lived through many experiences in life and thus am wiser than I was in youth and no longer wondering what I will do with my life because I have lived it and continue to live it. Since listening to presentations by Serge Benhayon, much younger than I am, I understand myself, the world and my purpose in life in a way I never grasped in youth and I now have a renewed enthusiasm for living my life every day.
Hear, hear Mary! I can so relate to what you have expressed here. And just to add I don’t expect we ever feel old, except on those occasions when the body isn’t working so well.
This is a graceful post Dianne, super honest and rare for it shines a torch light on later life, how it is to become an elder, what it feels like and the choices open to us. I was born into an African cultural tradition that demanded blind respect of elders. When it worked well (true respect) it was awesome. But when it was an imposed expectation, regardless of how the person was, it became abusive. In this context status and value in life was measured by age. The older you were the more you were valued this meant children were often attributed a lesser value. In my culture there is this saying, used when a person wants to assert authority over another, ‘I big pass you’. Blind respect led to some elders abusing their position because they could do whatever they liked and not be questioned. There is also true respect of elders. This is where elders are respected, loved and appreciated for who they are within, not because of elder status. This is the same respect given to every human being regardless of their stage in life. Through Universal Medicine I have learned that to be a true role model is not related to age, class, status, or earning capacity, but who we are in our essence and how we live our lives.
When you think about it, it is so strange that the ideal picture is looking young considering half of the world population is elder. Thank you for your blog Dianne, with this I deepen even more my deep appreciation for elder people.
Thank you Dianne Trussell for this revelation on becoming an elder. We have to reclaim being the true elder as being an important period in our lives. Our lives are not wasted when we become an elder, but we elderly are an important group of people in our society, guiding the young into their growing up, and balancing the ill ways that come with the ‘be young’ tendency that we we are currently championing in our society.
To look to elders and feel their immense wisdom and strength and deep deep inner beauty can be one of the most empowering and inspiring moments in a young man’s life. It is not worth undervaluing how much responsibility there is in embracing one’s age and what one can bring to society.
Thank you Diane for this deeply inspirational blog.
The elders struggling to look younger and the young ones fighting the signs of aging – why can’t we just accept the phase of life we are in and live the beauty and grace that are there deep inside of us for all of our lives?
I like this Michael,
‘Accept the phase of life we are in and live the beauty and grace that is inside of us.’ It has taken me quite some time to accept my beauty and grace, but now that I have I so love where I am in my life.
I had a conversation with an older woman in a shop not long ago and she remarked that getting old is an interesting thing because she feels as though she has never actually aged. She shared with me that even though her body is now old and wrinkly, she still feels as young as ever. I love this. It’s so true. Our essence never ages…and with the claiming of our essence and the wisdom that it brings, there is so much to offer by way of inspiration. The way of the elder is living wisdom.
‘Our essence never ages…and with the claiming of our essence and the wisdom that it brings, there is so much to offer by way of inspiration. The way of the elder is living wisdom.’ Beautifully expressed thank you Sara.
Ageing with grace isn’t the outer complexion and features staying as when they were young, but holding the same quality that you were born with. Along with much experience, knowledge and wisdom.
What a divine way to sum up our Elders, and definitely a state of being to aspire to developing.
Definitely something and am inspired by and aspire to continuing and developing.
Yes I agree Luke, in fact when you look at people’s baby photos you can often recognise them by their quality. It is all in the eyes.
Agree the eyes are a timeless feature. As I’ve seen pictures of my grandmother as a child and the eyes are always a give away.
Love this Luke!
What a great topic you have opened up for discussion here Dianne. Thank you so much for your sharing.
It’s great that you are not going the ‘colour your hair route’ and feel it as a badge of honour! I have, alternatively, been choosing to take the ‘colour my hair’ route and I wear a touch of makeup which I so enjoy. I managed to find a hair colour that is almost identical to my natural colour and it works well. The main thing about the elder role model for me is the grace and wisdom that the Elder can bring and share – that sense of utter well-being and experience, with a good over-view of the bigger picture. The beauty of an elder woman is equal to the beauty of a young woman in every sense, it simply has a different face to it.
I was coming out of Robina shopping centre last year when I encountered, in the car park, a woman who would have been at least 85. She was well dressed with gloves and pearls. We greeted each other and she flashed me a smile that was so beautiful and warm that I felt my heart expanding. I, in my late sixties, felt young beside her, and in that moment I would have loved to have a woman in my life like her that I could go and have a cup of tea and sit in the garden with.
What a lovely meeting with a wonderful, graceful and beautiful elder woman, Lyndy.
Inspiring to see that there are elderly woman in society that are honouring their inner beauty and reflecting love, despite their age.
I so understand what you are saying here Lyndy. The beauty of an elder woman who is still very much with it, alive and vital is glorious. I bet this woman in the pearls was appreciating your beauty as much as you were hers.
Lyndy, how you’ve shared dying your hair and wearing make-up feels gorgeous – it’s not coming from a need to look a certain way, it’s coming from how you feel and then how you express yourself from that. This is so very different to doing it from a need to look a certain way, to look younger and more beautiful.
Your beauty shines the way forth, Dianne.
How wonderful to read about and consider what it means to be an elder. For most of us and definitely in society, we do not value our worth. There is so much we can appreciate about becoming an elder as you have said, the detachment and more of a ‘holding of all’ kind of love, the wisdom and the ease of not trying to prove anything with our looks, physical or mental prowess. When we elders start to appreciate and live those qualities it will naturally ripple out into all of society and give those younger than us something to look forward to when they reach that cycle in their life.
Dianne having just read your article I have sighed and paused as I consider how to put my feelings into words. I can feel the depth of who you are and what you bring through your words. You are able to convey what being a true elder is in a very tangible way. I can taste it in my body. Women are currently clinging to their looks purely because they have no felt knowledge of the possibilities that getting older truly holds. But as more and more people become true elders then this will go a long way to restoring harmony within our society.
What a truly inspirational and wise role model you are Dianne. Thank you.
And inspire you do Dianne, thank you.
Dianne, this post is soo needed in our society. I have to share it on Facebook!
I love that you have exposed the falseness of our times and generations pressured to focus on their outer beauty rather than their inner. The lack of true elder role models is a great loss in a society that would benefit enormously from the natural beauty and wisdom of those who grow older honouring themselves and the gorgeous qualities they possess. Our youth especially need that reflection to accept and appreciate the power in just being themselves.
And Dianne what an inspiration you are, your insights here and truth on elders so beautifully expressed. Gosh, there’s so much here to comment on as you raise such super points. I found this line particularly striking i.e. in regards considering the absence of cosmetics and makeup: “The consequences of our past choices could no longer be covered up” – indeed, so many of us use makeup to hide choices, as opposed to highlighting the natural beauty that’s living inside. True beauty is the (wise) choices made to self-love, a wisdom that is lived and passed from elder to younger through inspiration towards natural maturity.
Dianne, in reading your blog I can sense a very vital, joyful, powerful, delicate woman who loves humanity and life! Yes, you are such an Inspiration and a gorgeous role model for all ages.
What you have said here is great ‘I could appreciate the principle, but was constantly frustrated about having to respect people who were making choices and behaving in self-degrading or abusive ways that did not meet up to my own principles.’ How can young people and children be asked to respect someone when that person does not respect themselves or others! Of course it doesn’t make sense .. but that is what we have been asking them! We have a lot to reflect on, change and heal.
Beautifully expressed Dianne. Accepting who we are and honouring what we need is important at any age, but without elders, especially ageing elders as role models there is nothing to counter the external pressures to fit the ideals based on youth and ‘success’. As a child my role models were not irresponsible in the extreme, but there was a lack of joy and vitality in most. I enjoyed the company of my grandparents, especially one grandmother who had the time and patience to help me with tasks I was struggling with. It felt with her that the focus was on me, and not the million and one other things that needed to be attended to. Like you ‘I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others’ as I age gracefully.
Great blog Dianne, thank you for writing on this topic.
What would happen if the cosmetic services were all taken away – how would we be with facing the truth of how we have been living?
I really like this line that you wrote because I know that there was a point in my life where I had to stop and see all the choices I had made that got my body into the shape that it is, and to have the lines on my face, including the wrinkles from smoking. They are here to stay, as a reminder of where I have been.
There is nothing I love more than being in the presence of an Elder who knows how much their wisdom and grace means to us all. We all have our part to play in society and the Elder is a very beautiful one. The societal undercurrent of putting down Elder Women as being done for is such a trick, they are so the opposite.
There’s a real belief that women have to hold on to their youth for as long as possible. I was reading a magazine the other day about a lingerie model who is 62 and just giving up modelling. Her closing comment was that she would now rather eat pizza instead. It’s like we have to work hard to gain a certain look (she trained like an athlete and had plenty of cosmetic surgery) then we reach a certain age or point in our lives and then we can let ourselves go. In this we focus completely on the outer and how we look and the inner part of us is ignored.
Thank you Dianne for a great blog on ageing gracefully. I have always been a doer and loved physical activity. Coming up to the age of 72, and after 2 hernia operations I have at last, started to slow down. It has been difficult because of the momentum in my body. But gradually through honouring my body and really feeling what is there to feel, I am starting to feel the beautiful gracefull movements as I come more from my beingness, this is true beauty, the beauty of my soul. A reflection to women of all ages.
Wow, Jill I had no idea you were over 70. It is very hard to tell the age of a woman who has sparkling eyes.
Oh gosh Dianne ~ what an inspiration! A role model to aspire to. This article as well as many women and men now accepting and expressing their elder energy is deeply inspiring ~ and needs to be known worldwide. Your description of an elder role model is something I really connected to as they “accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility” I have yet to fully embrace and express myself as a woman, and not my teenager/child like behaviours/feeling. “Inner wellbeing can show on the outside as my natural beauty.” True beauty and so much more enriching than relying on the outside! Because you Feel great. Where did we get so caught up in the outer? Therefore the importance of Universal Medicine presenting a re-connection to the inner. Wow.
I turned 57 yesterday and when I was pondering on this I realised that those numbers did not mean anything, that age is actually irrelevant.That I could be any age, I feel ageless, hard to describe, yes my body is definitely showing signs of aging but even then when I tell people my age they find it hard to believe, as I look so damn good.
Age is something that we use to make excuses like “Oh my memory is poor I am getting old” When really it is because we choose to check out and not connect and this is why we are unable to remember or we do not want to take responsibility for choices we have made in our life so we conveniently forget our past. Or “I can not do that I am too old” another excuse , yes there may be some limitations on our physical body that we have to listen to and respect but then we have to do that at any age…..ponderings of an ageless woman!!!!!!
I had to chuckle Mary-Louise when you said you looked so damn good. It’s so beautiful to hear a women of 57 claim this for herself. Most are not, yearning for something lost from their youth. As you say it’s not about the numbers, it’s about our commitment to life and just because we reach a particular age, doesn’t mean that our commitment has to drop or become non existent. You and Dianne, and I know of others, are an inspiration in the way you are living your lives and setting the foundation of how ageing will be in the future.
Joyful birthday Marylouise, and too true you do look damn good for 57 or for any age for that matter. You have in fact got younger since you have been taking such loving care of yourself. You, myself and now many people of all ages are great living testimonials of what Universal Medicine has presented over the years – the importance of caring deeply, tenderly and lovingly for our selves.
Wow marylouisemyers. Your comment has me pondering age in a whole new way. I am so grateful to be surrounded by true role models like yourself that look so damn good because they feel so damn good. It is an incredible blessing and so very needed.
As a kid I remember saying to people all of the time, when asked who my idol was: ‘I don’t have one’. They would look at me and smile and say ‘surely you have a movie star, or a musician, or what about Richard Branson’? I generally looked at them and became a bit frustrated at the stupidity of their question (I hadn’t quite the handle on why, as I feel I do now), but I would generally say that I hadn’t met or known of anyone who was living like I wanted to. I did have many lovely elders in my family who I had great relationships with, their stories and tales I loved to probe them about – always learning from what they shared. I feel with a humbleness and sense of acceptance of themselves, our aged friends and family can be important elders – but that’s certainly not to say they definitely are either. Great blog Dianne.
Diane, gorgeous blog, I feel the absolute beauty in your claiming of your elder years and how it’s allowed a different focus, one of being more from insider rather than out, and that’s what we need to see in the world. There are seasons and cycles in life and one is not more or better than another, they are all equal, so young or old they’re all part of the cycle. And so true what you share, it’s one thing that wound me up when I was young, to be asked to respect my elders when I didn’t see anything in the way they were with themselves or me to respect. Basically it was asking to be pandered to, to avoid facing the responsibility of the choices made, rather than be honest – it was a demand to prop up those earlier abusive choices made, not supportive of either the old or the young. It’s wonderful when people truly embrace where they are in life, young or old, and especially important now for any older to embrace true elder energy, as we’ve really lost touch with what it is and what it truly means.
Spoken like a true philosopher Dianne, one that is turning what has been the accepted understanding of things upside down based on your living a different truth, and shining as an example to others.
Beautiful post, what extremely wise words and great wisdom in what you share.
Most of society want to hang on to their youth because as yet there has not been enough true role models who claim their wisdom and age gracefully to inspire women to see that this is possible. Those that are, show us that this is yet another cycle in our life to look forward to and embrace knowing that we are being offered an opportunity to step into our elder energy if we so choose to accept and love ourselves.
“Most of society want to hang on to their youth because as yet there has not been enough true role models who claim their wisdom and age gracefully to inspire women to see that this is possible.” This is a great point marylouisemyers and I feel it holds a wisdom and truth for us all.
Exactly Marylouisemyers. By embracing and accepting our own ageing process, and nurturing ourselves in it, we offer inspiration to younger women who see us and say ‘wow, I’m not afraid of getting old’.
Thank you Dianne, your blog has given me a chance to stop and remember and appreciate how much I am enjoying the ageing process.
Thank you Dianne for the courage to write a blog about getting older, this is a much-needed part of all of our life’s that needs to be looked at.
I love the wisdom you bring, about letting go of how we look and what we can do, physically.
Recently an older woman I had just met commented that I looked 17 or 18 – she meant it as a compliment and I understood this but it made me feel uncomfortable. I ended up expressing my discomfort after smiling awkwardly and thanking her for about 30 seconds. I explained that I was 35 and that I was embracing the opportunity to carry myself as a woman and appreciate my age and I really meant it. A 14 year old girl had been observing the conversation and when the older woman asked her how old she thought I looked she answered 35 with no hesitation. It was an awesome and healing moment inspired by you and women like you Dianne.
This happens to me too Leonne, people think I am much younger than I am and think I should see it as a great compliment. I always say to them, regardless of my looks do I feel 18?… being told you are 18 when you are 33 does not actually feel like a compliment, it feels like they are seeing only and not feeling the woman in front of them (moi). Once I have said that they always say no. Reading this from you has made me realise that when this happens people are not really connecting with me, they are keeping things on a superficial level.
It is interesting how there IS an automatic assumption that it’s a compliment to say to someone that they look a lot younger than they are, unless you are very young and trying desperately to look older! It shows how much emphasis, and pressure, we place on how we look on the outside.
Yes it does Alison. I was surprised by how great it felt to claim my age. What a different world we would be living in if we all adored ourselves at any age.
I love this Leonne. I remember being proud of looking younger than I actually was. But looking back I was trying to hold onto being a “little girl” in every way…a female Peter Pan. I was really rather irresponsible in life and always longing to be taken care of, and in my case looking younger was symbolic of that resistence to being a full fledged adult in life.
I can definitely say one of the reasons I was grateful I looked younger was because I thought this gave me more time to delay growing up and being a responsible woman. As I become more responsible and love and accept myself I found myself actually welcoming the ageing process in my body. I felt reassured that I was no longer hiding in the never, never land of not growing up or of waiting to meet my prince or the world to give me the love that I now understand I can only give myself.
I relate to this so much Rachel. Sometimes I feel a bit sheepish when people comment on my youthfulness as it is often a reminder that I am not claiming myself as a woman.
It’s funny how we make judgments on people based on how old we think they are. “They look way older than 50” or similar comments as what you received Leonne and then we proceed to make a judgment on their lifestyle to justify their look. As you say Kate all of this happens because they are choosing not to connect to you or perhaps the absolute beauty and grace of your reflections is a reminder to them of what they are not choosing.
It shows how conditioned we all are – telling someone they look younger than their years is seen as a massive compliment and I love how you’ve expressed how this made you feel Leonne. It’s really given me something to consider as I have fallen hook, line and sinker for being complimented about looking younger than my 50 years which shows I have an image of what I’m ‘supposed’ to look like at this age, and instantly brings in comparison of how other people look at this age.
It is beautiful to read and feel your transition to a graceful, wise elder Dianne and leaving the intense drive of youth constantly seeking some different appearance or physical achievement. I remember when I was a disgruntled teenager hardening to my growing into a woman I had a stop moment when I met an older woman who was so deeply content in herself, as she smiled her eyes let me in completely and all her laugh lines came alive in her face. She was the most beautiful woman I had seen and felt up to then. I wanted to skip to my fifties to be as wise and at ease in myself as she was, I am in my fifties now and I am far more gentle with the way I move and do things. Even the way I exercise is far more gentle and I love my body more than ever before. The aches and pains I used to have from pushing myself are going and I am even discovering how deeply sexy I am even when I exercise. So Dianne Im on your page- growing older gracefully and wisely living by my inner essence or my soul’s love is something to look forward to and embrace as an enriching time of our lives.
I absolutely love what you share about the need for true elder role models Dianne. I have received such healing watching many elder woman embrace their age. These women shine with a beauty that it is breathtaking and just having the opportunity to observe this has allowed me to let go of many of the fears I used to have about ageing.
As I read your comment Leonne, I realise that at 54 I am probably an ‘elder’ however, I don’t feel old in myself at all and never have. Age isn’t important to me and in myself I still feel young and open. It seems, as we age, there can be a ‘giving up on life’ energy and we can start to see ourselves as small and insignificant, or we do the opposite and try to outwit nature through proceedures, creams and secret potions. In those choices it’s as though we are choosing to abandon our true selves and no longer feel we are of the same value in the world, which is crazy. I want to continue to evolve, gracefully and naturally and enjoy every moment I have, while I am here. Thank you Dianne for raising such an important topic.
There are those older women who try to cling on to their youthful looks, and there are also some who think that getting old means that they should ‘give up’ on their appearance. In so doing they seem to give up a little on themselves, and life, and consequently take on a far more aged way, and not just in appearance, than they would otherwise have. I am fortunate to know older women who are ageing gracefully, who do not look young as such but rather ageless, and certainly no less beautiful than younger women. This is a real blessing to see.
I’ve met some of these women too Catherine, and the ageless quality is a light that shines brightly within them. It is there for us all, young or old and is a divinely attractive quality that does not diminish.
Yes, yes, you describe the quality perfectly.
Well described Simon and Catherine – women who look ageless with a light that shines brightly within. What an inspiration they offer society.
I love your blog Dianne. We desperately need the wisdom of elders and the gentleness that comes from a life well lived. Aging is a natural part of the life cycle and we need to embrace it the way we do youth. What I like about being an elder is my hair turning slivery grey and that everything naturally slows down. There is more time to enjoy everything around me, I leave the running and busyness to the young ones.
Thank you Diane. Have you noticed how when you are young you can’t wait to be older, you feel no-one values your voice, and when you are older you want to be young, no-one values your voice and now your looks! It seems the golden years are short-lived and ever eluding us. Constant searching and wanting to be something, some time, other than where we are. What you share here offers the ability to simple be where we are and embrace it with our whole heart… mmm simple breathe and be.
The golden years can be right here if we chose to embrace where we are at.
How true Lucy but is it because we don’t value our own voice? The more we claim ourselves whatever age the more we have to reflect to others and the less we will be trying to make an impact. Humanity will benefit and a lot of the beauty industry will wither and die as women let go of their insecurities around aging.
“…breathe and be.” is gorgeous advice we can all implement at any age. Certainly takes the pressure off trying to be older or younger or anything at all other than ourselves.
There feels to me far more beauty in ageing naturally than in an ageing body that is fighting the inevitable process.
I agree Fiona, it shows an acceptance and appreciation of who we are.
I totally agree Fiona, a women accepting herself through all stages of life feels so beautiful and that is what shines from the inside out for all to see.
Absolutely Fiona … we’ll never ‘win a fight’ against ageing, it’s inevitable and I for one have every intention of embracing it in full and with grace.
This is beautiful Dianne, the surrender to your body and just being you. What you share really exposes our beliefs about getting older when ageing can be truly graceful and beautiful.
Thank you Dianne, this is beautiful. True Elders are so needed in our society as the majority are indeed lost in the abyss of ‘youthfulness’ and appearing young at any cost. This massive lie needs to be debunked well and truly, and it is through more people claiming their innateness, beauty and glory as Elders that this will happen.
True Elders also need to be fully embraced for what they offer. I remember many a conversation with my Grandma where she shared real pearls of wisdom with me. To connect with her in this way felt amazing.
Thank you Dianne. This blog provides an insight into embracing aging and being a true elder in society. What a beautiful example of a mature, aging woman with so much lived wisdom to share.
Wouldn’t it be amazing when all elders claim themselves and their wisdom, and share this with the young ones like me. I sure would be and am inspired by the elders that claim this already.
Dianne I sooo look forward to getting older now and your blog has further confirmed this. My grandmother died at age 64 from what I’d say was a broken heart – she lost her exuberance for life a long time before and growing up this is what I envisioned about getting older – but now my experience and the experience of many others I know is that it can be different. We can be older, wiser, sexier and more confident as we grow older.
Diane, when I read the part where you write how ageing gracefully means accepting and tenderly attending to your body that is becoming more and more delicate, I melted. That is the true grace of ageing, this stopping, going inwards and letting our true inner beauty come out without an ounce of the external world’s imposed ideals having an impact on us. When an elder woman embodies this, she is an amazing role model for younger women.
Yes I totally agree Gill that those of us in the elder phase of our lives, have such an: “important role to play” in turning around the ingrained concept that growing old is to be avoided at all cost. It is time to begin to truly honour and appreciate all that we have to bring to a world that is so fixated on youth and staying young, often painfully so.
“Having said that, society goes to quite a lot of effort to keep elders down, feeling lesser, and trying to meet the youthful ideals.” I have observed this in the teaching industry, where by often elder teachers are dismissed in the sense of the skills, wisdom and qualities they bring to a class or school, for new and young teachers. I am not saying one or another is better, but I am saying there is a wealth of wisdom that our elders bring and have to offer us in many ways. They have seen the cycles go round and can offer a wealth of lived knowledge and experience. It is a matter of asking them and appreciating their wisdom.
I wonder if it is possible that we, as humanity, have gotten so arrogant in thinking we know it all or at least the way forward for our times that we push aside the elderly and the wisdom they have to share. I completely agree, Gyl, there is so much we can learn from the wisdom of our elders. This is certainly an under utilised resource.
Thank you Dianne for introducing a true elder role model. The focus for women is so much on the outer beauty that it cages us in as young women already but as older women we seem to be non existing. So reading your words is very refreshing and inspiring: ‘I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully. I am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.’
Society is not kind to our elders but why? because once their wisdom was revered and sought out. Why ignore all those years of experience, having made the mistakes and come out the other end. Why not share this with the young so they don’t have to go down that same road and experience the same? I reckon you’ve got something here Dianne in that it is not just a one sided situation. The youth are not respecting the elders but are the elders claiming themselves. I am more now appreciative of those further down the track in life than me as they have great insight if I am willing to stop, listen and consider that I am not the only one who has experienced whatever it is I may be going through. But that others have been there, done that, got the T-shirt so to speak.
This is so affirming, Dianne and has really given me as an elder a little jolt to look at my perceptions of getting old and what I am bowing to in terms of society’s expectations. I can feel at times that I am seeking the looks of youth or seek out compliments that confirm that I look younger than I am. But I also can feel my inner sacredness and beauty and it is this I am going to fully appreciate in how I live each day.
Thank you for this inspiring blog Dianne. The time for the elders in our community to step into their true power is well overdue and this conversation is much needed. The tide is starting to turn and blogs like this are leading the way… The forthcoming book, “The Joy of Ageing Esoterically” (a compilation of stories from some of the Elders in the student body), will further contribute to the discussion, which needs to be shared with ageing people everywhere!
Great article Dianne. By living in a way that honours your body and claiming and expressing your true beauty and wisdom, you are providing a wonderful role model for the younger generation.
Wise words and an inspirational way to look at the aging process. There’s so much more to us than our looks!
Dianne this is such a beautifully written article which is deeply inspiring about ageing as a wise elder. I agree whole-heartedly with the opportunity we have to mature with grace and bring forth the deep wisdom to share with others. I can now accept my body is not about striving for perfection, but to simply accept myself as I am and be in celebration of my ‘goddess curves’ rather than in critique and judgment – this is one of the most self nurturing experiences I have ever given myself permission to enjoy.
“This claiming of my elder years cycle is offered as a true role model for the younger generation to aspire to”.
So true Sarah: “There’s so much more to us than our looks!” and I’m loving the process of discovering what that is, and then sharing it with the world.
Thank you Dianne and Sarah, I agree, living soulfully is an amazing way to grow old! Yes truly inspirational.
A powerful blog Dianne! It is about time that the elder generation claims back their dignity and own unique expression and that we start to care and nurture our bodies in the way it is fit for the actual age we are in.
Dianne your article gives us an opportunity to look in a different way at becoming older and how society is trying to force us to stay young with all the consequences. One of them is that there are hardly any true role models for the younger people and ageing stays something most people do not even want to think about. I absolutely agree with “For me it’s been more limiting to deny ageing and try to power through it, injuring an increasingly delicate body and then being totally stopped, than it is to accept it, become gentle, tender, graceful and consciously present, and thus do no further harm.” Thank you for sharing how you feel about ageing.
‘Respect your elders’ is something I remember from my childhood and like you Diane, I found it confusing as there were few behaving in a way that was respectful or deserved respect. I remember watching films about wise women in a tribe to whom everyone went for counsel – where were these people in the western world, I asked myself? Occasionally one would appear in my life in the form of a teacher or friend but they were few and far between. As you said, the media encourages the older woman to do all she can to look like a younger woman. I have yet to hear them say to go to the elder for advice, tapping into the wisdom of the years lived by them but maybe that will happen when the elders accept the part they can play in life, being all that they are in their maturity, there to serve the younger generation with impartial advice, not to fix anything or make it better but just to be there for them. An important role elders can step up to and offer.
Thank you Dianne for your honest sharing. In a world where outer beauty and appereance is all that matters and where in fact our self-esteem and self-worth is depening on our outer appearance, it is an absolute joy to read your blog and to get a reflection of truth.
Great article, Dianne and so important topic, because as you say clearly “many of our elders have allowed themselves to be degraded and disregarded by the culture of youth worship, to the great detriment of society.” It is a massive loss to not have the elder generation as true role models living and sharing true wisdom, but often trying to stay youthful and abusing their bodies. We all have to pave the way by living the amazingness of getting older. I personally love it!
Absolutely, it’s a massive loss to not have our elder generation living as role models, and to have that universality and wisdom and worldliness present. And I agree we all have a part to play in changing this in our choices now that will guarantee we grow older in a different way, and that being an elder is something we embrace for everyone, rather than shun.
Thank you Dianne, I found it interesting to consider what we can wipe away with treatments, these days, it made me realise that we can make some of the physical consequences disappear. For example not covering up in the sun and removing sun damage with IPL. Our children don’t see the fall out out form the choices we have made. I remember looking at my grandparents leathery skin and thinking I will never bake for hours in the sun. There is a whole lot of “lesson’s learnt” mainly around disregard that can get swept away.
What a gorgeous and honest blog Diane. I too have rebelled against the ‘respect your elders’ just for the sake of it. But I have a deep respect for the elders I now know, those who have done the work on returning to who they are and live from and with their soul, such as yourself, who share their delicacy, wisdom and grace with all around them.
This is a powerfully, inspiring article. Your wisdom shines through with each bold statement of claiming who you are but also having an acceptance of where your body is at. This is very beautiful. I feel in myself the resistance to aging, it may not be overt but it’s still there. I now aspire to fully embrace the seasons of my life with grace and poise and having elder role models such as yourself certainly make it easier to do. Thank you
I agree wholeheartedly with what you say Dianne. The elder years really are an opportunity to fully connect to our innermost essence and live as true role models which is in turn an inspiration to younger generations. It’s such a shame that growing old is seen as wrong and to be avoided, chasing after youth means you miss the golden opportunities offered in the twilight years.
What a beautiful role model you are Dianne! With true role models like you and many others now who are choosing to make more loving choices in how they live, the younger generation can begin to see the benefits of those choices and will be inspired to make similar choices. Already this is happening but we need so much more acceptance and appreciation of the beauty of growing older and the wisdom it brings.
Dianne, I always used to say that I would like to grow old gracefully and here you are just a living proof of doing that. Many older women I know are lost in the world of doing things constantly to feel their worth and mostly not feeling beautiful in their looks. I have met but a few women who I can truly say are comfortable in their skin as they age and these women really inspire me to embrace that beauty in me too as I age myself. Thank you for your beautiful reflection.
Gorgeous blog Dianne. You are the beauty and grace you write about.
On reading your blog Dianne, it seems that there is a big opportunity for more elders to start claiming their authority and living their wisdom out in the world, not hiding or retiring from life.
Is this a missing link in our society?
Such important insights have been offered here Dianne. We have such a fearful and resistant approach to ageing…and when we see the way people do age it is not very inspiring. Some people kick and scream, doing everything in their power to keep looking and acting young. Other people completely give up, stop taking care of themselves at all. Neither are very appealing options.
But you have offered something really lovely to consider, a form of ageing that is gracious, caring (for self and others) and deeply accepting.
My own ageing process has brought its challenges, but I am also more willing to accept my power, wisdom and experience and share it as and when it is appropriate.
Thank you for raising this crucial subject Dianne.
Diane thank you for sharing the traps that are not allowing ourselves to age and the impact this has on the younger generation. I agree our beauty comes from within us and for me as a nearly 55 year old woman the expression of this in how I dress and care for myself feels very naturally sexy!
Even though I am of your generation you are a truly beautiful and inspiring role model to me Dianne. I hope to ‘grow up’ to be just like you.
We live in a culture of youth worship. I have never have read it stated so clearly. We indeed do, if you just look around you. Everybody seems to be trapped in this culture with its beliefs, ideals, rituals and behaviours. Growing old does not seem to be an option. What if we grow up and show the grace and beauty of growing up?
Hey Dianne, I am with you as I also “. . am learning to break attachments to people and material things, to let go of ideals and beliefs, learning acceptance, understanding, and patience with myself and others.” And I can so relate to exchanging “living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.” Thanks for expressing this so beautifully.
These are areas of my life that I too have been choosing to bring back to a more loving way of being.
‘My Elder years cycle’ – I haven’t considered looking at the blessing that the elder years offer. I am aware that I feel a growing fullness and wisdom within me that I didn’t feel when I was younger. This has come about due to my re-connection to myself and appreciating for the first time my innate beauty. I love the ‘Offering’ the elder years are bringing. May the reflection of our lives bring much celebration for those beautiful young ones following in our foot steps. Thanks Dianne for opening more awareness around ‘Aging Gracefully’.
There is a big gap without Elders as you describe them, filled with the power of their lived experience and the beauty and grace that comes with that wisdom. True Elders would provide a marker for younger folks (including middle aged) to remind them of what’s important. I have some elders in my life and their ability to cut away all complication and just focus on what’s truly important is beautiful to be around. The elders in my life share so openly with me their wisdom, always give me a hand up, and I’m held in complete love and acceptance.
You ask some great questions here Dianne and offer a true role model for the younger generation. Thank you.
The irresponsibility continued in older age can ‘leave younger people adrift in misconceptions…’. How elegantly written Dianne.
I remember clearly when I was about 8 years old and thought ‘when I am 80 I will be 10 times wiser than I am now’, yet when I met people around that age not only was this not true but in some cases they seemed much less wise than I was as a child! At the time I was very puzzled!
People need to see you people like you, Diane Trussell. A woman who loves who she is and who she is becoming, accepting the flow of ageing with open arms. This is very rare, shouldn’t be , but it is. Lead the way;)
I agree Suzanne, I also feel more vital and adore being me at 57 so,so more engaged in life and feel deeply inspired by all that I do. We do need to get the word out and what is awesome is that there are those in the Esoteric Community that are writing books and doing other projects on this very subject already knowing the need for humanity to see there is another way to aging.
Hear, hear Suzanne.
Hey Dianne you have portrayed an excellent example of what an elder role modal is
I am 58 and have never felt fitter or younger in my life. I have no issue at all with aging and in fact absolutely love it as I love myself and the amazing life I have. I have a huge amount of life and business experience and it is a joy to be able to share it with the many younger people who I work and play with as it is to learn from them. I am not sure if 58 is old or not in your book but I have not had the experience of the aching body you mention but certainly when I was in my 20s and 30s I had an aching body. Also I do not feel any pressure at all from society. I have heard other aging women saying they become invisible and things like that but that is not my experience one iota. I think to be affected by all this nonsense you have to accept it – I don’t see the Dalai Lama being invisible. Finally as you say being a true elder is not just to do with age as some old people are certainly not “elders” and I know some young people who have great wisdom and exude an elder energy.
I so agree with you Nicola you are an inspiration to all. And I cannot imagine you being invisible to anybody!!!!
Exactly the same with you Mary-Louise – you light up any room you walk into.
Great points Nicola, I like what you have added to the discussion with this comment, yes there are many old people who are not ‘elders’, and, ‘ some young people who have great wisdom and exude an elder energy.’
It is the same for me. I am a similar age and I feel like a spring chicken. I may be looking older and that is fun because people take you more serious for some reason but inside I am having a lot of fun and these days a lot of energy to express this fun.
I don’t feel being chronologically older or younger is that big an issue. Each comes with its own constraints but also opportunities that need not have anything to do with how I feel and what I do.
I couldn’t agree more with the statement that it was very hard if not impossible to have respect for elders when observing some their self-destructing, self-abusive and downright cantankerous ways.
Looking at what children go through in school today I feel I am getting off lightly in terms of having to deal with changing conceptions of being older. I wonder if it is the same for women. Do they also feel that being older is easier to handle than being a youth is today?
Interesting question, Christoph. I certainly feel that there are a lot more pressures/distractions there for the youth of today, challenging them to stay present with themselves. I feel it’s a lot easier for me, being older, however, I’m not sure whether that’s because I’ve chosen to live my life being connected to me. I feel with that choice, life is easier, it becomes much simpler. When you’re young, one of the biggest challenges can be being different to everyone else.
I think it’s pretty similar in all parts of the spectrum of age.
We have shunned and shunted ageing almost out of sight to our great expense.
We have those facing this exile attempting to stem the tide or escape into oblivion (think Alzheimer’s, dementia etc).
The results of this for the youth of today mean no rudder for the value of life – and that is a pretty empty place to work from …
Thanks Dianne. I have worked in aged care and in my observation a lot of elderly people are worn out and mentally already ‘checked out’. What makes it this way, that when we get old there is nothing to live for? True vitality and a shine is something that can be sustained and our elderly people should be valued just as much as children.
Agreed – there is so much wisdom held by our elders, and this should be cherished, learned from, respected and nurtured in the same way as we look after our children. Youth is not the be all and end all, but merely a stage of life to be lived in full like any other.
Thank you Dianne as you are indeed a true role model for us all to aspire to.
It is so true Dianne how strong the pull and expectation to stay young is. In honouring ourselves through the ageing process, we can experience great vitality and remain playful and youthful. In not choosing to honour ourselves we lose that natural youthfulness and end up trying to find it in how we look and how we are acknowledged by others. Your blog brings awareness to this choice we have as we age and it is very well spelled out.
I agree Diane and Simon about the pull to stay young. You asked the question Diane about the effect on society if we removed plastic surgery. I can tell you what it would be, blind panic, especially if we got rid of Botox too. These things have become absolute crutches for people in order to feel good about themselves, to continue to compete against other women, as a focus, an emotional lift as well as a physical one, the list is endless but if you suddenly removed cosmetic procedures from life it would be as dramatic as removing alcohol. These things support people to not feel what’s really going on, it would get very ugly indeed to remove them without working on people’s relationship with themselves first.
Thanks Diane for your article, it certainly has given me lots to ponder. As I was reading it, I could feel that I haven’t accepted that I am ageing and there is still so much of me that wants to hold onto youthful looks and my hair not turning grey. Ouch! What you offer is a beautiful reminder that there is much wisdom and grace to claim as one ages, that it isn’t down hill, in fact it is up hill as an opportunity to connect more deeply and live soulfully.
‘I am slowly and gradually switching the focus from how I look and what feats I can perform to living more and more gracefully, wisely and, in fact, soulfully.’ – beautifully said, Dianne and very inspiring.
I love what you’ve written here Diane, if the cosmetic services were all taken away and we were left with the ‘as it is’ of our faces and our bodies and an exposing map of all our choices. Then we would have to gain our self-worth through connecting to our innermost. This is definitely the lesson of the ageing process, letting go of our identification with the outermost, while still being fully engaged with it, and making way for intimacy with our being. Actually, although it has its challenges, I love this process, allowing graceful ageing, there are many unheralded benefits if one embraces the process.
It is interesting because what I have observed is the more I let go of my focus being on how I look and connect with,know and love my innermost, the more beautiful I actually look.
This is so true Marylouisemyers, and you are an absolutely beautiful living testament to this fact.
Makes perfect sense Mary-Louise.
What if….now this is a wild and crazy thought….we actually got to see how beautiful we are, as we are??!! At every age! OMG! There is a billion dollar beauty industry blown right there in an instance!
Reading your comment Josephine, I am reminded of my relationship with sugar. This might seem to be a digression, but bear with me. I used to be addicted to sweet foods, and could easily eat a family block of chocolate all on my own in one evening. In those days green apples tasted sour as gall to me. Then slowly I cut back and cut back on sugar and my sense of taste adjusted becoming very refined. Everything tasted far more clear and I detected the subtle nuances food with the less sugar I ate. Today green apples are so sweet to me that I cannot believe I never noticed this before. My point is that our senses adapt to what we feed them and our eyes are no different. We feed ourselves a “family block” of beauty ideals and we consume them through our eyes. Before long the “family block” is all that appeals to us and we demand more, not knowing how much we are missing out on.
The more we cut out that very bland an homogenous type of beauty, and the more we see women claiming their real beauty at every age, the more our senses become refined and nuanced…having tasted true beauty we will ask for more.
Love the analogy Rachel. There is a lot of refining to be done to what we have conditioned ourselves to find sweet in all of life … and our beauty can never be painted on, nor peeled, pinned or inserted for that matter, and it does not diminish with age.
Our real beauty emanates from a place far far grander than any 3 dimensional existence as does our wisdom!
Like it Rachel, breaking free from the homogenous beauty we are sold through the media and developing the taste for true beauty, I can feel my senses responding immediately to what you are saying and something inside really sparking up. How lovely to appreciate every day the marvellous reflection of true beauty shining through in all it’s various guises. What a joy to live in a world of such variety and sparkle all pointing back to the one great beauty.
Thank you Dianne, what a great article. I too was told to ‘respect my elders’, which seemed a bit off when I was also told that people earn respect, except when it came to elders it seems. I didn’t respect a lot of my elders, but I showed respect by not saying how I truly felt, a lot of the time. All the while harming me and enabling those around me to continue to act without responsibility.
“This non self-respecting behaviour by elders leaves younger people adrift in misconceptions and confusion about growing older and our changing roles throughout our lives.”
This is gold Dianne, we have a great opportunity now to age with grace and change the culture of youth worship forever. We have a responsibility and we can do it!
Thanks for a really inspiring article.
This is beautiful thank you Dianne. I agree the world needs more true role models, of people who deeply love and care for and appreciate themselves just the way they are, and remain active and engaged in society in full! From this blog I now see ageing as a time where we are almost forced to look at what is most important in life. Either we embrace this, go deep and begin to shine, or we withdraw, give up and have a miserable end of life. Working in aged care I see how important it is to treat our elderly equally, like normal people, not change the way we are with them because they look different, or may move or speak a bit slower or louder!
Good point Danielle it is important to treat our elderly equally and support them in their aging process as well as them having great role models of older people embracing this phase of their lives.
Yes I feel the lack of support for the elderly starts in both places, with the elders and within society. It’s great to see people like Dianne, starting to speak up and stand up asking to be treated with equality and respects (by being this way with themselves first).
This is a great presentation Dianne.
As a woman coming into my elder years myself, I appreciate your words here “It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.”
This is what has supported me most in embracing my ageing, doing it as naturally and respectfully (of myself) as I can. I love the way my hair has greyed and though I was a little less enthusiastic about the wrinkles, when I look into my eyes, and face as a whole, rather than focus on the wrinkles in judgement, it all ties up beautifully. I am learning to appreciate too, how much wisdom I actually do have and how fabulous that is. And I am not holding it back because of what society currently dictates elders to be – as invisible as possible – perhaps so it won’t have to look at being responsible for its choices, the results of which become even more evident as we age.
We have a very important place as role models for those who come after us, eventually to become elders themselves. What kinds of role model are we going to be?
Yes Dianne, doesn’t this attitude to age reveals a lot about how we see life? Its beautiful to read your words and feel an abundance of innocent delight – you remind us, this is absolutely timeless.
When I meet up with one of my family members he always tells me that you don’t want to get old…like we have a choice;;;chronologically!!
But through all that I have found, and continue to find via UniMed, I am finding my elder years a delight. Various aches and pains have got me working with a hydrotherapist and gaining a realisation of just how I use (or abuse) the various muscles in my body. Maybe too late for this life time, but a foundation for the next perhaps?
Amazing blog Dianne. Much needed in a world that idealises youth and outer beauty in favour of the wisdom and grace we can embrace in our later years.
Very true, and crazy if we really stop and consider this. How we have as a society dismissed the grace, beauty and power that comes with a woman’s elder years.
I love so many things about this blog but I especially love the last paragraph about loosing the sense of how your physical body ‘looks’ in an ideal way as this has so much horrible emphasis as you have so beautifully discussed in your piece earlier. I am looking forward to feeling more of the elder woman in you and you inspiring other elder women too.
That is great Natasha and what strikes me here is how in society being older is considered not great, someone slowing down, in fact a lot of people fear getting older due to what this will do to their body and physical appearance and yet this by no means is it at all. I love the word elder and for me this is a true word to describe wisdom and grace something that each and everyone of us have.
I love the word too, it feels like a very beautiful phase of life, when we deeply accept our wisdom, our grace and that our beauty lies so much deeper than our bodies. It’s so different to the way old age is portrayed most of the time, as a time where life is almost over and where many give up.
One of the great things about living as an elder is that you don’t have to wait till you get old to do it. One only need “accept themselves for who they truly are, leave behind the harmful choices and irresponsibility that are considered to be the foolishness of the young, and really live their wisdom and grace.”
No wonder we so often try to look as young as possible if this is considered the way of youth … trying to hang on to a way to justify our irresponsibility perhaps??
I love this point Helen very true – just take Natalie Benhayon for example “One of the great things about living as an elder is that you don’t have to wait till you get old to do it.”
Yes! I love what you have written here Helen. You don’t have to be a certain age to be wise. Some children are very wise, a lot wiser than some adults in fact… and that is an interesting point.. are they justifying their irresponsibility?
Great point Helen! It’s true that being an elder really has nothing to do with physical age at all, but rather that it is the mark of responsibility firstly for self, and then being aware that others are equally responsible for their own choices. Understanding this means true inspiration and support can be offered to others from true wisdom, but without need or attachment. Natalie Benhayon is to me one classic example of being a true elder, which has nothing to do with her age.
haha. Well said Helen. Yes, we can be an elder at any age, and don’t need to wait for the sprinkling of grey hair to prove it!
I love your point about justifying irresponsibility… Older does not necessarily mean wiser, unless the choice is made to continually deepen our responsibility and to evolve in life. It is very exposing to grow older without truly growing…
Oh how I agree Helen – I was thinking exactly this as I read Dianne’s blog. The major stance to master is ‘acceptance’ – all else follows, the natural beauty of the elder, the wisdom, the wonderful capacity to observe life – all flows from Acceptance.
Such a wise and beautiful post Dianne. “It is giving me the opportunity to morph from a physical being living under the control of the chaos of the world to living from my innermost essence, seeing and doing life from the perspective of the soul.” Gorgeous. A heart-felt thankyou, on behalf of elder women everywhere.
Yes and a heartfelt thank you from women of all ages I’m sure. I am so inspired to embrace myself and all my qualities as a woman as I get older as I’ve been inspired by elder women.
Now I no longer fear getting old and aging as I did when I took on the belief that there was a shelf life to a woman’s attractiveness and purpose(!!!) I know I’m only scratching the surface of appreciation of what you bring and what I can look forward to when I am older.