Celebrating our Strengths

As men, it is as if we are brought up to be in a dog pit – constantly competing to be the top dog, always needing to show our superiority in whatever way we can so effectively we will not get crushed by the world or by others.

We are brought up with the idea of showing off our strengths and feathers, just like the majestic peacock, then keeping hidden any flaws and/or weaknesses we have, just in case someone else may see them, attack us there and expose the lie we are essentially living; a lie constructed so intricately that we can get through life seemingly unmarked.

We appear to ‘fit in’ and we avoid rejection, but underlying this we are still living with a tension because we know we are not living with the same joy and ease that we had when we were young.

This incessant need to live a lie changed for me when I met Serge Benhayon, whom I have been fortunate to know for quite a few years: Serge is a man who is not afraid to show all of himself – warts and all.

A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are. If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do. This is not an extremely common thing to see in the society we live in today. Seeing Serge do this with myself, and others, has inspired me to also appreciate and celebrate other people more.

I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others. By doing so, our strengths will build and develop and will help us in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.

By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.

We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing, and by doing so, we are helping to take away the notion and idea of competition; that we should always be striving to outdo each other.

It has brought me a freedom and has taken away a lot of the tension and stress that I felt in relationships, especially those among men. I have found that it brings a great strength to relationships, a strength where we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow.

We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves. I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.

I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.

by James Nicholson, BNat Design Consultant, Frome UK

Further reading:
Men – Are We Set Up to Fail?
To Truly Love Men: The Natural Tenderness of all Men

1,314 thoughts on “Celebrating our Strengths

  1. I definitely second the fact that Serge Benhayon would absolutely never try to one-up someone. In fact, his life is a commitment to being a reflection for all to live as themselves

    1. Totally Michael, the equality Serge has shown me has been second to none – in fact rather than one-upping anyone he constantly appreciates and celebrates others – something that is very special and is deeply felt. ie. it is easy to tell when someone is genuinely appreciating another as opposed to because they want to get something in return.

  2. It’s a beautiful flow on effect to celebrate others strengths for we in turn share an appreciation and love for another and we are then inspired to reflect our own amazingness too. A winning combo of love and celebration. Thank you James.

  3. I understand the relationship between appreciation and harmony in a whole new way reading this blog today. I am especially struck by the awareness of the tension that arises when someone is doing well and the truth that embracing of another in their strength supports them to bring all of them to whatever they do. One way of being is nurturing and supports the all to expand while the other (competition) stunts growth and keeps us all small and separate.

  4. I heard someone call a man a “suck” the other day because he was sharing how his back was sore! It is no wonder men don’t want to share how they feel. We have a long way to go in supporting men to just be themselves and to open up.

    1. I see it in my sons and their friends. Them trying to be “brave” in front of each other if they hurt themselves. Ironic, since true bravery would be to fully express the fragility and tenderness of the male body.

  5. Through men supporting other men allows us to feel a trust again where we may have lost a bit of hope and maybe shut down to our potential or our connection with other men. Serge Benhayon indeed offers a great inspiration for men to live in a way where we can hold all others as equal without the need for the competition and not be afraid to show our tenderness to the world.

  6. Celebrating and appreciating who we are allows us to discard the many masks we wear as men and embody the sensitivity and tenderness which is innate to us, knowing that embracing this is an actual strength and not a weakness as we have been made to believe in the world today.

    1. It is amazing how we have converted sensitivity and tenderness to being a weakness when it is in fact one of the greatest strengths we have as men. Which is then no wonder why we are in such a mess because we deny this innateness in ourselves.

  7. I feel their is a certain strength when a man openly expresses his sensitivity and tenderness and Serge Benhayon is an excellent example.

    1. There is massive strength when a man simply is himself warts and all and expressing from a place of fragility and sensitivity. It is by no means a weakness. Sure the words have been bastardised to mean the opposite of what they truly are but when you look at someone like Serge Benhayon then you get a sense of what a man living in and with his truth actually looks like. And it is not that we want to become clones either because we each have our own expression but Serge is a great example to use because he shows that it is possible to be fully open, sensitive and tender and live fully in the world without needing to retreat or seek any form of protection.

  8. Appreciating ourselves and those around us for who we are and what we bring to society offers harmony rather than living with comparison and competition which leaves us all less.

  9. The more tender I am the more like a man I feel – who’d have thought. This is a massive and quite recent revelation to me as a number of events have opened me up to new depths of tenderness and with every step that I take along this path the more of a man I feel.

  10. An awesome blog James, thankyou for all you have shared including “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” Life is really a team effort where we can learn so much from one another and receive support because of others strengths. Or, we can put pressure on ourselves to know it all and to be capable in lots of areas and do it all on our own – but it’s not very gentle or loving living this way! Humanity is really a beautiful symphony, each one uniquely supporting the whole, so what a beautiful reminder you’ve given me to celebrate everyone’s strengths and let them support me, just as I can support others.

    1. So very true it is amazing how much support we can offer others and they can offer us. We are almost taught we need to go it alone and somehow conquer the world. Yet we have so many loving supportive people around us it is crazy not to all support each other to be the depths of the love we know we all are.

      1. Thankyou James, I can relate to what you have shared. It takes me back to the education process and how being wrong was to be avoided and knowing the answers meant I was the best. Showing I didn’t know something meant somehow I was weak as well, which is quite a set up to go it alone! But instead of it being about what we know or our capabilities, how wonderful when life is about who we are and within that what we each bring to what we do. And as you say, this can change our relationships allowing a new depth of love to be shared by not trying to be it all, but opening to others and allowing ourselves to be supported. And celebrating each other is a darn sight more fun than the alternative!

      2. It sure is more fun when we celebrate ourselves and others – otherwise i find life can get very serious and then should’s and should not’s come in – whereas when we just bring all that we are we don’t think about it we just do it!

  11. Men tend to hold back on sharing their truth do to he fear of rejection. Serge Benhaon encourages everyone to speak and share with pure love, no judgements or comparison.

  12. Celebrating the strengths we have is fun and a wonderful feeling. Your blog has me asking myself why I avoid doing this. My first feeling is that I will be attacked for my weaknesses as people will think that I need to be ‘brought down a peg or two’. You show that we can change this way of being one step at a time.

    1. One step at a time we can show the world who we are. The questions begs then are people actually trying to bring me down or are they feeling my reflection and the lack of their choices and so it appears like they want to bring me down yet actually just do not want to accept where they are at? When we actually stop to rad situations so often we find they are not personal attacks at all.

  13. I love re-reading this blog James as it is such a powerful reminder of how much we can learn, grow and be inspired to deepen our connection to love, to who we truly are through appreciating the strengths of ourselves and others. Appreciating our strengths is a confirmation the quality of the Divine being lived through ourselves or another, offering a beautiful marker, reflection and inspiration for us all.

    1. I agree Carola and it is something we definitely do not do enough of. We are all amazing beings yet confine ourselves most of the time to physicality, but there is so much more to us and the universe than purely what the eyes can see. The more we appreciate this the more we will truly see and live the magnificence we are.

  14. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ Beautiful to feel how when we are inspired to drop competition that we can support each other to work together.

    1. Competition essentially means no one wins, after all how can someone be better than another when in essence we are all the same? So to think otherwise is looking at things and life purely in the physical and negating everything else. When we then actually truly work together it is amazing what is possible.

  15. It is so exhausting living a lie and the power that is there to be expressed when we start living true to ourselves, thanks to the inspiration of Serge Benhayon, is amazing and much needed at this time when humanity is crying out for answers to the turmoil of so many both physically and mentally.

    1. Serge Benhayon presents to us all the answers to all of lifes questions. The question arises do we then try to take what Serge has presented to better fit into the picture we have of how want life to be or how it should look like or do we go ok, lets embrace what has been presented and live knowing this truth? Otherwise we are only taking snippets and essentially reinterpreting it. We have been given all the answers, the question is what we choose to do with them.

  16. “I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.” You are quite correct, James, that sensitivity is not perceived as a masculine quality but we are no less sensitive than women. In fact possibly we are more sensitive than women and that is a major factor as to why we develop such strong protections as that is not appreciated.

    1. Embracing our sensitivity is something which is really supported me embrace myself more. Essentially it keeps me aware of everything that is going on so I can fully understand it, as soon as I cut off my sensitivity I am like a puppy in headlights – lost, small and frozen.

  17. There is this huge tension that comes with living a fake life. What is so macho about being fake? There is a huge separation in being in constant competition with one another. So first you are separated from yourself by not being who you truly are and then you are separated from each other with this set up of being competitive. Divide and conquer…now that is a set up indeed.
    Any logical investigation would uncover that there is no strength in this.

  18. Jealousy and comparison is common amongst women too. Appreciating and celebrating our strength is super important for us to be able to accept our weakness too so that we can understand and appreciate ourselves and others in full and as equal.

  19. Even as women we are not immune from this type of behaviour but have in fact enjoined it. I loved what you shared here James in regards to sensitivity being an awareness of what we feel. There is still such a strong effort in the way we live to squash, crush, hide and belittle the sensitivity we are born with. What is there to be aware of if we connect to our feelings? It must be pretty big if so much effort and force is used to avoid it!

    1. What I find fascinating is the more I allow myself to be aware of things the more I understand and accept them and so they do not seem to be such a big deal or overwhelming any more. It is when I choose to lessen my sensitivity that suddenly life becomes burdensome and a struggle – yet this is the all too familiar pattern. So am I actually hesitant of the power I wield when I am truly sensitive, the fact that I can make evil shake and call it out without any hesitation? So could it also be that there is a lot of force trying to keep me, and all of us, away from truly being awareness because if we were the forces that like to play and manipulate us would no longer be able to?!

      1. We have the gift of this sensitivity that can cease all the struggle and yet we return over and over again to separating from this all-understanding aspect of us. It’s crazy but we do it and it makes me question – what is it about this sensitivity that I believe is not holding onto and at worst, worth sabotaging and squashing. What outcome have I wanted in that my sensitivity did not deliver to be the truth I invested in it to be? Those forces are only there because we allow them to be bigger than us. Something definitely worth exploring. Thank you James.

  20. It is indeed rare to find a man who is willing to celebrate the strengths of another over and above himself, and yet, as you say James, all men are so naturally sensitive, tender and loving, and I feel want nothing more than to be able to support and encourage others. And yet we have a situation where they are pitted against each other from the get go, and feel they have to compete in order to be seen to be a real man, when this is in fact the antithesis of a man’s natural way of being.

    1. Nothing melts me more than a man who is expressing and being in their sensitiveness – it is not weak but is a claiming, saying I here and this is me – ie. fully open with no guarding or protection out of a just in case. I especially feel it in hugs and when you are both open it is like there is nothing between you yet the entire Universe is with. It sounds far out or airy fairy if you have not let yourself experience but it is very real and very solid once you have – words do not really do it justice.

  21. I can relate to what you share about feeling like we need to show all our talents and hide our flaws. It is beautiful when we can be honest about our flaws so that we can look at them and let go of them.

    1. I agree however something I question is, is a flaw truly a flaw. Often it may be a flaw because of the way we have perceived it to be when in fact it may simply be something we have not given any time, effort and attention to and so naturally will not be a strong point for us. It is so easy to look at others and compare ourselves without appreciating the choices that they have made. The great thing though when we can simply say this is me take me or leave me is that we are then not trying to be anyone or anything for anyone else which makes life soo much simpler – otherwise, as I know, it is an exhausting constant game trying to keep up with a perceived image of how you think you should be to fit into the world.

  22. What you share with us James completely knocks jealously and comparison out of the water as if/when you celebrate another and their success, their can be no room for jealously and comparison.

    1. Thank you and exactly how can we be jealous or compare with another when in our essence we are exactly the same? It is crazy really. Yet we can be deeply inspired by the choices others have made and by doing so can make more loving choices ourselves and return to living the full stupendous love we are.

  23. Awesome James, I know that when I appreciate another person for what he/she brings I let down a wall that I wasn’t aware of existed. But we usually live with that wall and get used to it. So appreciation is a very good thing to have for others. I agree also that it’s special with men because we seem to have something else going on between us as well, maybe that competition and comparing you mention.

    1. I have found it is amazing how much I hold back the full and real me with others – why all to keep up some sort of image or somehow to stop myself getting hurt – it is like I pre-empt it which really is crazy. We are all deeply loving caring and sensitive beings just have let things get to us so have closed off parts of us – but as soon as we deeply honour and appreciate each other for the love we are then wow it is amazing how we all respond. It shows how in our essence we are all the same.

  24. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other’. These are wise words indeed James that can be practically applied to the lives of all women, men and children alike.

    1. It is amazing what we can learn from each other when we simply open up and do not try to be anything. The sharings we can each offer and inspire each other with huge – working together there are no limits to what is possible.

  25. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” Celebrating and appreciating others can inspire us all including ourselves to be who we truly are – our essence – which is love.

  26. Its the beauty and holding of another in their strengths that inspires us to also celebrate who we are and the world always needs more reflections of this. Thank you James for such a lovely sharing.

    1. Something I find real joy out of is appreciating and deeply celebrating another when they least expect it. I find it very confirming both for the other person and also for myself. The fact is we are all love and come from love so to hold anyone as less than the love we all are is effectively condemning them.

      1. Yes I agree James and in this we are separating from the all, which cuts off the chance for the true beauty of connection with others and how much fun and warmth is shared from an appreciation given and or received too.

      2. I love simply being open and sharing how amazing another person is, and there is no effort it is natural – in fact I have found it takes energy and effort to hold back and not express how awesome the person is that is opposite you.

  27. It is gorgeous to read how you have come to a place through inspiration where you have been able to unravel and discard any facades that were not you to reveal the true honesty of the you beneath them and can now celebrate being the man you innately are. This is a reflection that is much needed in the world and a rarity that is worth appreciating.

    1. Thank you Samantha – it definitely is worth appreciating. What is lovely is that due to the inspiration of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon there are no more and more men expressing from the exquisite tenderness that we naturally are. The transformations have been amazing and continue to deepen.

  28. It is a process of peeling off the layers of falseness and pretense, not just because we like to hold onto them as they serve as protection but much more because we first need to become aware of them; they are so ingrained and normal and constantly confirmed not just by oneself but society that it takes a different marker that can shine a light on the subject and expose what is hidden in the shadows. This light is awareness, love, care, equality, appreciation as lived by Serge Benhayon and thereby igniting more of this light to shine in others as well.

  29. Thank you James, what you have shared is a game changer of how appreciation and confirmation of ourselves and others allow us to connect and embody something deeper within us and to feel the strength and power of such quality that can be lived in every moment of our lives.

    1. I feel that there is something special when 2 people come together and deeply value and appreciate each other. For me it is like anything is then possible. Yes, we can do things by ourselves but when we work together I feel it is when the Universe really shines. This starts with ourselves and our relationship with God and then can spread outwardly slowly one by one.

  30. The wonder of Serge Benhayon is that he sees the true part of everyone. No matter what their behaviour, how they look, their past, he knows them as who they really are underneath all the persona. This is even when they don’t know who they really are…

    1. To be held in such love by Serge Benhayon has shown me what true love really is. In no way is there or has there ever been any judgement over the choices I have made rather a deep understanding and a willingness to help me see the truth of the situation. What I love is Serge has never told me what to do rather helped guide me to come to the truth myself by supporting me to see and understand the situation so that I can learn and move on from it.

  31. Thankyou James, I have really enjoyed reading your blog again. There is something so gentle and nurturing about supporting one another and our strengths by appreciation. In today’s competitive world with terms like “dog eat dog” and the ideal that only one makes it to the top, other people with strengths are often seen as a threat. But life is meant to be beautiful and that means for all equally, not for a significant or successful one who conquers others. There is actually no threat by others being in their strengths, and nor by us supporting them to get there. In contrast, everyone else being in their strengths and bringing their all to the all makes for a truly awesome world.

  32. I love how you say, ‘everyone else being in their strengths and bringing their all to the all makes for a truly awesome world’. That is so true – when we all are simply ourselves in our the gloriousness is when magic truly happens. I know the difference it makes when I am feeling strong within myself and share that with others in contrast to when I am feeling exhausted, not really caring etc.. – it is massive yet soo many people simply are trying to get through the day rather than enjoying themselves, everyone else and what is truly on offer.

  33. James, this is really beautiful to read. I can see that there is so much pressure on boys and men to compete with each other, whether in sports or academically, Ii see in the playground boys wanting to be ‘top dog’ and win and not loose at sports or even simple activities. i love how you write about ‘by celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ This is really lovely and it would be amazing if this was encouraged in schools.

    1. It would be amazing if it was encouraged in schools, but we do not have to wait as we can start in our homes and slowly it spreads. It is hard to find more joy than when you truly celebrate another being, not for what they have done but for who they truly are.

  34. These are beautiful words James ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other’. The reflections from others is a great form of inspiration and through that we are able to build a deeper strength within us.

    1. And what is lovely about this is how many different reflections we get when we are open to learning more about life, others and ourselves. It is so easy to get caught up in making life about us we often lose sight of the bigger picture. I also love how we are always where we are, or with who to learn something and so can present and offer more love. Even if we may find a situation challenging, the more we view life as a playground to re-learn to live love the more we will fully embrace everything that is with and before us.

  35. It is crazy really that we get a fixed idea of what it means to be a man or a woman and then live life from there, and then it takes someone like Serge Benhayon to come a long and point out to us that we are playing a role – otherwise we would probably just continue thinking it was working.

    1. We get so entrenched by the ideals of the way we think we should be we get to the point, as you have said, that we lose all sense of reality and suddenly the role we have taken on becomes us even though as a child we knew there was so much more.

  36. I love working with other people and appreciating each other’s strengths, it means you get the best possible combination when we are all supporting each other, and when everyone works to their strengths tasks are completed more quickly without anyone getting left behind.

    1. I totally agree we each have soo much to bring and the more we bring all that we bring the simpler things and more flowing things become. I used to think and believe I had to do everything but now see there is so much more support and so much more can be done when we truly work together.

  37. I love how Serge Benhayon is inspiring so many people to let down their walls of protection/competition etc…and start to live the people we naturally are. He is a gift from heaven (as we all are).

    1. We sure are all gifts from Heaven. I know for me I used to think I needed to put up a wall to protect myself but since listening to and being inspired by Serge Benhayon know that the best form of protection is to be open and with a deeply loving heart – so it is not protection at all simply being all the love that I am. The beauty is that the more open I am the more I get to see and observe what is going on and so the more I understand life and the less I feel I need to react to life and hence the less I think I need to protect myself.

  38. Your blog is great James, and so true, because we can see in children, how young boys are equally as tender and sensitive as girls, and as they grow up into adulthood, how this expression can be held back, hidden, or masked by the ideals and beliefs imposed upon a male by society expectations.

    1. I love observing the equality when a little boy and girl play – gender does not even come into it – they could essentially be either and it would not matter. What this shows is how innately we are the same, we all carry the same divine spark of God yet as we grow up we become tainted by what the outisde is telling us we need to be to fit in.

      1. I’ve seen this play out with my sons and how beautiful and tender they were playing with girls and how the girls loved this about them in younger grades. They were confused and upset when that all changed and they were pushed away and asked to be tough and hard. From observing young children you can see how this is learned and not natural for them at all to compete.

  39. Given the way the world currently is and has been, it would be difficult for many if not most to fathom that life is not about competition. We may see birds and animals in the wild and assume that we are no different, but perhaps we are simply yet to en masse arise above our animalistic nature and instead embrace our deeper innate qualities within…

  40. Gosh it sounds so exhausting to live and that to proof yourself as a man, you always have to outdo the other, compete and never have a moment to just be and appreciate one another. It is great to feel your true strength James and how this is in not subjecting yourself to this picture of what you have to do to be a man, but instead of that just claim for yourself what it is to be a man. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.”

    1. It really is exhausting Lieke, constantly on edge looking around trying to fit in and never letting myself simply be. The more content I am within myself and my body the more this simply fades away and one of the keys is appreciation because then I am not constantly looking outside for approval as already know who I am and so when it comes it is lovely to receive but is a confirmation rather than anything new.

  41. So very important to become aware of all the roles we play because we think we have to, to then step by step being able to explore how we truly feel and feel to express.

  42. I like this definition of weakness – “in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.” When I first heard this, I found it very refreshing because I had always given myself a hard time about my ‘weaknesses’ and to realise that they are just areas I have not given as much time and focus to, really helped put in perspective. It took the sting out of the tail so to speak and I saw that if I give more time and energy to it, it could well become a strength as well. So simple.

    1. It is so simple yet often it is our weaker areas where we end up beating ourselves up for. The more I celebrate and confirm areas in my life which I know are true the more these deepen and naturally raise up the other areas in my life. It takes away a lot of the struggle I used to live with. I have also found appreciation is key and is not simply something we do once but is a continual unfoldment confirming each step we take along the way allowing for the next to present itself.

  43. It is deeply powerful to experience men supporting other men, celebrating their qualities. We don’t see this often because, the discomfort in our own skin often makes men compete in order to survive, even though doing so actually hurts us far more than were we to not do so.

  44. With relation on how Serge ‘get’s behind’ people to support there growth and not try and compete, I have felt that same quality in his daughter, Natalie Benhayon. She is a woman who is supporting women to be more themselves and live with power and confidence in their life – unlike many friends or whatever relationships held with women where there is so much comparison, jealousy and game playing.

    1. I agree Rachael and it is clear to see the way Natalie Benhayon has supported you with her Natalie with love TV episode which was a real joy to watch and then to see the 1 year later after video (http://natalie-with-love-tv.pageflow.io/natalie-with-love-tv#77908) – wow the difference in yourself is huge which goes to show when someone is truly there for us the way we are inspired to make more loving choices is huge – you just have to watch the video and no one could deny it.

  45. It feels so draining and such a waste of energy to try and out beat another and prove your worth. No one benefits from it, not even yourself because at the end of the day our greatness as a society comes from us all working as one, not from trying to be the best.

  46. Celebrating the strengths of others is only truly possible when we truly appreciate ourselves. True appreciation comes from the body and is felt in the body, and from that feeling we express and celebrate and appreciate others who they are and what they do.

  47. A beautiful sharing and celebration of who men are in their natural state of being i love it .” We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves. I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have” Inspirational!

  48. What if the things that we choose to perceive as weaknesses in ourselves were really strengths in disguise? For me being sensitive is undoubtedly a huge strength regardless of what society might say about it.

  49. ‘We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing’. It feels so beautiful and expansive when we are confirmed whether that be by another or by life itself. It builds confidence and trust in oneself to keep expressing all that we are without perfection.

  50. It is crushing for a child to feel their parents competing with them, and where most of us have felt the awful energy of competition for the first time. To be in a relationship with someone where competition doesn’t come into it is amazing (Serge Benhayon is definitely someone who does not compete)….but only because we’ve experienced many relationships with competition. Our essence doesn’t have a speck of competition in it, we have created it from comparing.

  51. “By celebrating the strengths of others…We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing…” It’s devastating when we are shot down for shining our light. The awful thing is it only needs to happen once for us to start dulling ourselves all the time, such is the hurt it causes. The awesome thing is though, that when we start appreciating and confirming ourselves, we start to feel the absoluteness of our light. The more we do this the less the put downs of others touch us, until they just bounce off without leaving a mark. Yes it’s important to express our appreciation of others and celebrate them – absolutely it is, but we also need to do this for ourselves, for this is where the deep healing begins.

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