781 thoughts on “Celebrating our Strengths”

1. A beautiful sharing and celebration of who men are in their natural state of being i love it .” We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves. I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have” Inspirational!

2. It feels so draining and such a waste of energy to try and out beat another and prove your worth. No one benefits from it, not even yourself because at the end of the day our greatness as a society comes from us all working as one, not from trying to be the best.

3. With relation on how Serge ‘get’s behind’ people to support there growth and not try and compete, I have felt that same quality in his daughter, Natalie Benhayon. She is a woman who is supporting women to be more themselves and live with power and confidence in their life – unlike many friends or whatever relationships held with women where there is so much comparison, jealousy and game playing.

   1. I agree Rachael and it is clear to see the way Natalie Benhayon has supported you with her Natalie with love TV episode which was a real joy to watch and then to see the 1 year later after video (http://natalie-with-love-tv.pageflow.io/natalie-with-love-tv#77908) – wow the difference in yourself is huge which goes to show when someone is truly there for us the way we are inspired to make more loving choices is huge – you just have to watch the video and no one could deny it.

4. It is deeply powerful to experience men supporting other men, celebrating their qualities. We don’t see this often because, the discomfort in our own skin often makes men compete in order to survive, even though doing so actually hurts us far more than were we to not do so.

5. I like this definition of weakness – “in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.” When I first heard this, I found it very refreshing because I had always given myself a hard time about my ‘weaknesses’ and to realise that they are just areas I have not given as much time and focus to, really helped put in perspective. It took the sting out of the tail so to speak and I saw that if I give more time and energy to it, it could well become a strength as well. So simple.

   1. It is so simple yet often it is our weaker areas where we end up beating ourselves up for. The more I celebrate and confirm areas in my life which I know are true the more these deepen and naturally raise up the other areas in my life. It takes away a lot of the struggle I used to live with. I have also found appreciation is key and is not simply something we do once but is a continual unfoldment confirming each step we take along the way allowing for the next to present itself.

6. So very important to become aware of all the roles we play because we think we have to, to then step by step being able to explore how we truly feel and feel to express.

7. Gosh it sounds so exhausting to live and that to proof yourself as a man, you always have to outdo the other, compete and never have a moment to just be and appreciate one another. It is great to feel your true strength James and how this is in not subjecting yourself to this picture of what you have to do to be a man, but instead of that just claim for yourself what it is to be a man. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.”

   1. It really is exhausting Lieke, constantly on edge looking around trying to fit in and never letting myself simply be. The more content I am within myself and my body the more this simply fades away and one of the keys is appreciation because then I am not constantly looking outside for approval as already know who I am and so when it comes it is lovely to receive but is a confirmation rather than anything new.

8. Your blog is great James, and so true, because we can see in children, how young boys are equally as tender and sensitive as girls, and as they grow up into adulthood, how this expression can be held back, hidden, or masked by the ideals and beliefs imposed upon a male by society expectations.

   1. I love observing the equality when a little boy and girl play – gender does not even come into it – they could essentially be either and it would not matter. What this shows is how innately we are the same, we all carry the same divine spark of God yet as we grow up we become tainted by what the outisde is telling us we need to be to fit in.

9. I love how Serge Benhayon is inspiring so many people to let down their walls of protection/competition etc…and start to live the people we naturally are. He is a gift from heaven (as we all are).

   1. We sure are all gifts from Heaven. I know for me I used to think I needed to put up a wall to protect myself but since listening to and being inspired by Serge Benhayon know that the best form of protection is to be open and with a deeply loving heart – so it is not protection at all simply being all the love that I am. The beauty is that the more open I am the more I get to see and observe what is going on and so the more I understand life and the less I feel I need to react to life and hence the less I think I need to protect myself.

10. And what is lovely about this is how many different reflections we get when we are open to learning more about life, others and ourselves. It is so easy to get caught up in making life about us we often lose sight of the bigger picture. I also love how we are always where we are, or with who to learn something and so can present and offer more love. Even if we may find a situation challenging, the more we view life as a playground to re-learn to live love the more we will fully embrace everything that is with and before us.

11. I love working with other people and appreciating each other’s strengths, it means you get the best possible combination when we are all supporting each other, and when everyone works to their strengths tasks are completed more quickly without anyone getting left behind.

    1. I totally agree we each have soo much to bring and the more we bring all that we bring the simpler things and more flowing things become. I used to think and believe I had to do everything but now see there is so much more support and so much more can be done when we truly work together.

12. It is crazy really that we get a fixed idea of what it means to be a man or a woman and then live life from there, and then it takes someone like Serge Benhayon to come a long and point out to us that we are playing a role – otherwise we would probably just continue thinking it was working.

    1. We get so entrenched by the ideals of the way we think we should be we get to the point, as you have said, that we lose all sense of reality and suddenly the role we have taken on becomes us even though as a child we knew there was so much more.

13. James, this is really beautiful to read. I can see that there is so much pressure on boys and men to compete with each other, whether in sports or academically, Ii see in the playground boys wanting to be ‘top dog’ and win and not loose at sports or even simple activities. i love how you write about ‘by celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ This is really lovely and it would be amazing if this was encouraged in schools.

    1. It would be amazing if it was encouraged in schools, but we do not have to wait as we can start in our homes and slowly it spreads. It is hard to find more joy than when you truly celebrate another being, not for what they have done but for who they truly are.

14. I love how you say, ‘everyone else being in their strengths and bringing their all to the all makes for a truly awesome world’. That is so true – when we all are simply ourselves in our the gloriousness is when magic truly happens. I know the difference it makes when I am feeling strong within myself and share that with others in contrast to when I am feeling exhausted, not really caring etc.. – it is massive yet soo many people simply are trying to get through the day rather than enjoying themselves, everyone else and what is truly on offer.

15. Thankyou James, I have really enjoyed reading your blog again. There is something so gentle and nurturing about supporting one another and our strengths by appreciation. In today’s competitive world with terms like “dog eat dog” and the ideal that only one makes it to the top, other people with strengths are often seen as a threat. But life is meant to be beautiful and that means for all equally, not for a significant or successful one who conquers others. There is actually no threat by others being in their strengths, and nor by us supporting them to get there. In contrast, everyone else being in their strengths and bringing their all to the all makes for a truly awesome world.

16. The wonder of Serge Benhayon is that he sees the true part of everyone. No matter what their behaviour, how they look, their past, he knows them as who they really are underneath all the persona. This is even when they don’t know who they really are…

    1. To be held in such love by Serge Benhayon has shown me what true love really is. In no way is there or has there ever been any judgement over the choices I have made rather a deep understanding and a willingness to help me see the truth of the situation. What I love is Serge has never told me what to do rather helped guide me to come to the truth myself by supporting me to see and understand the situation so that I can learn and move on from it.

17. It is gorgeous to read how you have come to a place through inspiration where you have been able to unravel and discard any facades that were not you to reveal the true honesty of the you beneath them and can now celebrate being the man you innately are. This is a reflection that is much needed in the world and a rarity that is worth appreciating.

    1. Thank you Samantha – it definitely is worth appreciating. What is lovely is that due to the inspiration of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon there are no more and more men expressing from the exquisite tenderness that we naturally are. The transformations have been amazing and continue to deepen.

18. Its the beauty and holding of another in their strengths that inspires us to also celebrate who we are and the world always needs more reflections of this. Thank you James for such a lovely sharing.

    1. I love simply being open and sharing how amazing another person is, and there is no effort it is natural – in fact I have found it takes energy and effort to hold back and not express how awesome the person is that is opposite you.

19. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” Celebrating and appreciating others can inspire us all including ourselves to be who we truly are – our essence – which is love.

    1. I agree Sue and the more love we live the more we can and will naturally inspire others.

20. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other’. These are wise words indeed James that can be practically applied to the lives of all women, men and children alike.

    1. It is amazing what we can learn from each other when we simply open up and do not try to be anything. The sharings we can each offer and inspire each other with huge – working together there are no limits to what is possible.

21. I have found it is amazing how much I hold back the full and real me with others – why all to keep up some sort of image or somehow to stop myself getting hurt – it is like I pre-empt it which really is crazy. We are all deeply loving caring and sensitive beings just have let things get to us so have closed off parts of us – but as soon as we deeply honour and appreciate each other for the love we are then wow it is amazing how we all respond. It shows how in our essence we are all the same.

22. What you share with us James completely knocks jealously and comparison out of the water as if/when you celebrate another and their success, their can be no room for jealously and comparison.

    1. Thank you and exactly how can we be jealous or compare with another when in our essence we are exactly the same? It is crazy really. Yet we can be deeply inspired by the choices others have made and by doing so can make more loving choices ourselves and return to living the full stupendous love we are.

23. So very true it is amazing how much support we can offer others and they can offer us. We are almost taught we need to go it alone and somehow conquer the world. Yet we have so many loving supportive people around us it is crazy not to all support each other to be the depths of the love we know we all are.

    1. Thankyou James, I can relate to what you have shared. It takes me back to the education process and how being wrong was to be avoided and knowing the answers meant I was the best. Showing I didn’t know something meant somehow I was weak as well, which is quite a set up to go it alone! But instead of it being about what we know or our capabilities, how wonderful when life is about who we are and within that what we each bring to what we do. And as you say, this can change our relationships allowing a new depth of love to be shared by not trying to be it all, but opening to others and allowing ourselves to be supported. And celebrating each other is a darn sight more fun than the alternative!

       1. It sure is more fun when we celebrate ourselves and others – otherwise i find life can get very serious and then should’s and should not’s come in – whereas when we just bring all that we are we don’t think about it we just do it!

24. Even as women we are not immune from this type of behaviour but have in fact enjoined it. I loved what you shared here James in regards to sensitivity being an awareness of what we feel. There is still such a strong effort in the way we live to squash, crush, hide and belittle the sensitivity we are born with. What is there to be aware of if we connect to our feelings? It must be pretty big if so much effort and force is used to avoid it!

25. Competition essentially means no one wins, after all how can someone be better than another when in essence we are all the same? So to think otherwise is looking at things and life purely in the physical and negating everything else. When we then actually truly work together it is amazing what is possible.

26. I love re-reading this blog James as it is such a powerful reminder of how much we can learn, grow and be inspired to deepen our connection to love, to who we truly are through appreciating the strengths of ourselves and others. Appreciating our strengths is a confirmation the quality of the Divine being lived through ourselves or another, offering a beautiful marker, reflection and inspiration for us all.

    1. I agree Carola and it is something we definitely do not do enough of. We are all amazing beings yet confine ourselves most of the time to physicality, but there is so much more to us and the universe than purely what the eyes can see. The more we appreciate this the more we will truly see and live the magnificence we are.

27. Beautifully said Doug. Judgment and comparison go hand in hand and we cannot judge another without judging ourselves first.

28. Celebrating the strengths we have is fun and a wonderful feeling. Your blog has me asking myself why I avoid doing this. My first feeling is that I will be attacked for my weaknesses as people will think that I need to be ‘brought down a peg or two’. You show that we can change this way of being one step at a time.

    1. One step at a time we can show the world who we are. The questions begs then are people actually trying to bring me down or are they feeling my reflection and the lack of their choices and so it appears like they want to bring me down yet actually just do not want to accept where they are at? When we actually stop to rad situations so often we find they are not personal attacks at all.

29. The more tender I am the more like a man I feel – who’d have thought. This is a massive and quite recent revelation to me as a number of events have opened me up to new depths of tenderness and with every step that I take along this path the more of a man I feel.

30. Appreciating ourselves and those around us for who we are and what we bring to society offers harmony rather than living with comparison and competition which leaves us all less.

31. I feel their is a certain strength when a man openly expresses his sensitivity and tenderness and Serge Benhayon is an excellent example.

    1. There is massive strength when a man simply is himself warts and all and expressing from a place of fragility and sensitivity. It is by no means a weakness. Sure the words have been bastardised to mean the opposite of what they truly are but when you look at someone like Serge Benhayon then you get a sense of what a man living in and with his truth actually looks like. And it is not that we want to become clones either because we each have our own expression but Serge is a great example to use because he shows that it is possible to be fully open, sensitive and tender and live fully in the world without needing to retreat or seek any form of protection.

32. Through men supporting other men allows us to feel a trust again where we may have lost a bit of hope and maybe shut down to our potential or our connection with other men. Serge Benhayon indeed offers a great inspiration for men to live in a way where we can hold all others as equal without the need for the competition and not be afraid to show our tenderness to the world.

33. I heard someone call a man a “suck” the other day because he was sharing how his back was sore! It is no wonder men don’t want to share how they feel. We have a long way to go in supporting men to just be themselves and to open up.

    1. I see it in my sons and their friends. Them trying to be “brave” in front of each other if they hurt themselves. Ironic, since true bravery would be to fully express the fragility and tenderness of the male body.

34. I understand the relationship between appreciation and harmony in a whole new way reading this blog today. I am especially struck by the awareness of the tension that arises when someone is doing well and the truth that embracing of another in their strength supports them to bring all of them to whatever they do. One way of being is nurturing and supports the all to expand while the other (competition) stunts growth and keeps us all small and separate.

35. Every man I have met, I know deep down whatever pretense or facade they may be putting up is deeply loving, sweet and sensitive – give a man a baby and you see all these natural qualities come out – the problem is we hide them away thinking we cannot be that in the world but we can and every body wants us to be so why are we holding back and waiting?!

36. We just need to teach our children from love by showing them the delicateness, tenderness and sensitiveness that we all are. Then by honouring our sensitivity we will learn that it allows us to be in the world without getting affected by everything that is going on. After all if we are feeling everything we are also seeing everything and so understanding life rather than reacting to life. The difference whilst seemingly small is huge in my experience.

37. The problem is there is always going to be someone better or lesser than us at anything we choose to do when we look outside of ourselves for a particular outcome – but what if we looked at the quality of the way we were doing things – so regardless of how good we are at anything if we do it with the quality that we are then what it looks like does not matter. No one wins or gains when we compete rather we all lose out because we do not get to connect and see the beauty in the other.

38. Competition, comparison and jealously only serve to keep us separate from each other, whereas when we celebrate each other and work together we start to see how we can all live and work together in ways we never imagined were possible.

39. It’s a beautiful flow on effect to celebrate others strengths for we in turn share an appreciation and love for another and we are then inspired to reflect our own amazingness too. A winning combo of love and celebration. Thank you James.

    1. I agree, it really is a winning combination as we all get inspired to be more of the love that we are. Like you say when we truly appreciate another we also get the inspiration back.

40. I definitely second the fact that Serge Benhayon would absolutely never try to one-up someone. In fact, his life is a commitment to being a reflection for all to live as themselves

    1. Totally Michael, the equality Serge has shown me has been second to none – in fact rather than one-upping anyone he constantly appreciates and celebrates others – something that is very special and is deeply felt. ie. it is easy to tell when someone is genuinely appreciating another as opposed to because they want to get something in return.

41. This is a huge revelation. We are so used to, and basically learn to, pick on our weaknesses, but as you say here James, by supporting and celebrating all that is there already (our strengths) we build ourselves a strong foundation from where, with this strong stand, we are able to face anything and it also gives us space to simply see what else is there that needs tending to.

    1. Well said, it is so easy to pick on our faults, be hard on ourselves yet miss all the amazingness that we are. Of course we do need to address all areas of our lives but to focus or give more importance on one over another means the quality of everything we do then suffers as a result. The stronger the foundation of love we build the stronger we become in all areas of our lives.

42. I have seen the beautiful unfolding of the three men I am privilege to live with and their sensitivity expressed is a huge learning for me. Their sensitivities have shown me a hardness in my body which I never knew was there and probably called it “efficiency”. When men are able to connect to their inner sacredness and live this miracles happen.

    1. Miracles sure do happen we only need to connect and then literally anything is possible!

43. Thank you James, for exposing the unspoken game that happens between men. I have really been looking at this lately and seeing the protection that I’ve put there to keep other men out. Ive realised the strange thing is that it actually hurts me more to keep other men out than to connect and let them in. We have a society of men wary of each other all living from this competition and protection. Is it any wonder we have so much war and unrest in our world on a larger scale, when in our everyday lives we have the same unrest between men. It just plays out on a bigger field.

    1. It does hurt to keep people out men or women, I find my body has to harden and go tense or numb. Whereas when I fully let people in then I feel my body open up and everything seems to flow rather than it all being a frustrating struggle!

44. Great to read about a man who understands that ‘being sensitive’ just means being aware of what we’re feeling and sees it for the strength it is rather than the weakness it is held out to be.

    1. It is such a vast difference embracing my sensitivity rather than shying away from it thinking it is a weaknesses. Boy oh boy the more I feel and choose to be aware of life and what is going on the stronger I feel I am with not only myself but also with others.

45. Thank you James. As a woman reading this blog I can certainly relate to what you share and today I feel particularly inspired to celebrate and nurture another woman that is doing well rather than shy away from her and feel ‘less than’.

    1. It is such a difference when we appreciate what another brings and the choices they have made – we then open ourselves up to learn from them and be equal to them rather than oppose or fight them.

46. It is such a pleasure to celebrate and appreciate another human being… it costs nothing and means everything in sharing the love, and often reminding them of how awesome they are in a world that more often does not.

    1. We definitely do not celebrate and truly enjoy each other for what we bring. We champion feats and doing but rarely fully appreciate the quality another brings.

47. When men who are being brought up to be constantly competing and fighting with each other to be the top dog is combined with the rejection of women when they put them out in the kennel so to speak, is it no wonder we rarely get to see the true and gentle nature of men being expressed in the world. Collectively we have done this to men as a gender. Now stop and wonder what would happen if we truly started to value men for who they are and not what they do, and equally valued women for who they are and not what they do, I have a feeling that the world as we know it today would literally change before our eyes.

    1. The world really would change. I find that when I am deeply appreciated the way I move and feel completely changes or gets confirmed – it is like it picks me up and elevates me in some way – not in a euphoria way but rather in an embracing loving way with my whole body coming alive more, it is like I am given an opportunity to let go and simply be myself – obviously I do not need anothers permission to do this but it is appreciated!

48. Being able to celebrate another is a trough strength. This is what supports us to grow, what is inevitable but can be so much improved when we choose to celebrate each other’s strengths instead of putting eachother down.

49. Our world abounds with pictures of how men ‘should be’, of what constitutes being a man, encouraging men to put out a facade that meets expectations. But in this we are asking men to be false to be something they innately are not, to constantly go against themselves and with that other men too rather than leaving them free to express from their inner-most. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and all other men who have reconnected with the truth of who they are and don’t hold it back from the people.

50. Beautifully said James. Being competitive and hiding behind a display of peacock feathers hides the qualities of the man and does nothing to affirm and learn from the talents of others.

    1. We need to show off our feathers without holding anything back or being ashamed of our greatness in anyway. After all we are all majestic beings and can equally shine – so it is not really showing off just showing who we truly are, our true colours.

51. I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man. And how lucky are we and the world that you have chosen that for yourself, reflecting how men can just let themselves be in their natural tenderness and sensitivity, and showing that this is their strength. I’m appreciating your commitment here James, it feels very supportive for men.

52. It is fun coming back to this blog, as really not much has changed since I wrote it as in society people and men are largely acting the same way – all trying to out do each other for personal gain. Yet I am seeing more and more men becoming more aware of how sensitive they are and clinging onto a hardness and protection as much as I used to see. Just like Serge Benhayon has showed many of us, it just takes one person to live openly and transparently and slowly but surely it gives others the opportunity to the same.

53. It really is a dog eat dog world out there, or that is what we have fostered and agreed to. We have subscribed to tearing down the tall poppy, going into comparison and jealousy. However, celebrating each others strengths is such a wonderful way of being, to honour and respect that each of us has an expression, we all all love, yet we hold something that is unique to us, that is how we choose to express that love and it is great that we can do so through what are our strengths.

54. It is not true strength to show off what we are able to do on a skill level. This is just a skill. Real strength comes from bringing who we are, the natural, tender, sensitive, humble being inside, to what we do. It allows vulnerability, truth and love to be at the fore of our interactions. This is real strength.

55. Strength is not in being the brick wall being able to do it all ourselves, because in this way of living there is no room for growth and as we are not perfect trying to cover our weaknesses or pretend that they are not there leads to an arrogance that ignores the situation. All the while these cracks get deeper and wider. I am learning that true strength comes from transparency and accepting that we are not perfect or beings that can operate completely independent of anything and everyone else. Being open to accepting that we are designed to work together breaks down the beliefs that we have to deliver the all by ourselves.

56. There is definitely a great strength in being tender, sensitive and real. Women and men everywhere benefit from this. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from being hard and tough. It is just a fortress and fortresses indicate a war, a battle that never gets anyone anywhere

57. James, I am so glad as a woman to have experienced real men. As you have presented in your story. As a woman I have so missed this. I didn’t feel safe next to a competitive, macho and guarded style of men. It is so beautiful to share with real men and just be able to look into their eyes and be met or seen with no guard or motive. Open,tender, vulnerable and true.

58. Trying to live up to an image, both as a man or a woman, cripples us from appreciating the essence of who we are, and our unique expression of it. So much joy has been missed because of that.

59. Appreciation is massive, it starts with self and expands to all of those around us. It is a forever deepening as Love has no limits or boundaries. With appreciation I find it allows me to solidify my foundation and then go deeper within myself, whereas without I tend to be a lot more flaky and more up and down with life. The steadiness and joy appreciation brings is beyond measure and something everybody could do with doing more of – after all we all come from a stupendous amount of love yet barely appreciate even this simple fact.

60. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” That’s what I love about appreciation, it opens up the door for endless learning and deeper connections with others too.

61. And as I commit to taking this appreciation to my ever-growing circle of male friends, it is amazing and undeniable to see what a powerful expression it is and how deeply, deeply healing it is for us men. We have attacked and then protected from each other for so many lifetimes. The wounds are deep – but they heal in seconds when appreciation is the medicine.

    1. The wounds are deep from years of attacking each other but as you say the more we open up, connect and appreciate each other they heal instantly.

62. There are few things more joyous than allowing the full amazingness of another man to wash over me, to drink it in in full and to celebrate it without reservation. It heals me deeply and all other men. The power of appreciation is something that I am only just being to accept. Serge Benhayon is the master of it and it is exactly through his continued, unabashed, extremely vocal and absolutely unfettered appreciation of me, and what that has meant for me, that I have been able to see this. Never has “thank you” been more meant!

63. We are not here to outdo each other, which we are made to believe as men. But to show each other that we are so much more than the masculine ways we are made to be by society. It is super powerful to speak up about this. Much more so than staying in the competition and keeping each other in the illusion that that is what a men is supposed to be like.

    1. It sure is super powerful – we all know that being macho and tough is not the way forward yet if we do not say anything or change the way we are then nothing changes. People need to see a different more loving way to be, one we all know deep down is true yet think we cannot live it – but we can and thanks to men like Serge Benhayon showing us the way we have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

64. I love what you are sharing James as competing is something we basically learn when we grow up and yet it is something so very foreign to our natural way of being. We are all a part of a whole that makes up humanity and each of us has certain strengths and qualities. What we need to understand is that we can draw from each others strengths just by the mere fact that another brings this quality, in other words we can all ‘benefit’ from each other: But this can only happen if we stop competing, because through comparison we close the door to our equalness, to our oneness, and stand alone thinking we need to achieve everything on our own.

65. Its a very competative world out there and all it has achieved is chaos, living from our essence and building people up as Serge Benhayon does, is the only solution to the worlds problems

66. Being the ‘top dog” or in charge is something I have worked my whole life to ‘achieve”.It never really got me anywhere apart from feeling that I had to keep bettering myself and bring more to work with huge amounts of projects that left me feeling exhausted and drowning in a lack of self worth. Through group work we can understand that everyone has their own way of ‘doing their thing’ and combining this with others in appreciation then there is little room for jealousy and comparison.

67. There is no greater love than to love another to the quality we would love to be loved ourselves.

68. To finally come to the realisation that: “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other” was a life changer for me, and to feel how this felt in my body compared to the heaviness of jealousy and comparison was so liberating. I can see so clearly now that allowing myself to be jealous was not only harming me but also the person the jealousy was aimed at, whereas allowing myself to be inspired feels so light and full of endless possibilities, which then is reflected back to the one who is inspiring me.

69. This is an inspiring read for men and women alike, debunking the myth that men have to be tough and fiercely competitive and instead strongly supporting the notion that even a grain of sensitivity expressed is not just a good thing but also a huge strength. Bring it on.

70. It is so common to not live in the way you present here but instead be in constant competition. Which in truth is not doing us good, appreciation is key in living harmoniously, with our self and with others. I know how important it is to appreciate our self before we truly can appreciate others.

71. Why is it that we compare and try to all be the same regardless of the quality of that ‘sameness’? What if we were already the same in essence that can be felt but that how that true equality comes out and into the world differs but feels the same and no different?

72. The more we celebrate our strengths the less likely we are to allow competition, comparison and jealousy to take hold and sabotage us.

    1. Simple and well said Elizabeth. The games we play with each other so as to prove ourselves are crazy and very detrimental to all involved.

73. The turnaround in the way I was living, where I would regularly compare myself to others, usually ending up feeling lesser in the process, has been as the result of the huge revelation that “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” To no longer compare myself with another, with what they are doing, feels so liberating from the jealousy of the past and it offers me the opportunity to perhaps learn something new, expand on what I already know, or to simply celebrate this person for the amazingness that they are, with absolutely no agenda and no need for anything back in return.

    1. That is great to hear Ingrid. It is amazing how something so simple can have such huge knock on effects in all areas of our lives. Truly something to appreciate and celebrate quite how amazing we all are.

74. What is interesting Alex is that the picture we create we can never live up to nor can anyone else so effectively we are setting ourselves up to fail over and over again. We are here to learn rather than to be perfect. Just like an onion we need to shed all of the layers we have put on and return to our essence, to our truth which has never left us just gotten covered over.

75. Exactly James – allowing ourselves to be inspired by others instead of firing daggers of jealousy and comparison at them is the most amazing, confirming and self-accepting feeling.

76. I love this blog James, it so beautifully exposes the lie we as men live in, and I know the tension all too well. It is great to start to feel and realise that there is no need to hold a guard up, i feel how important it is to recognise that we have this guard, and see that the only thing that is needed to let it down is accepting ourselves in full with all that going well and not so well. As that is what life is, it is real, not a fake screen that needs to be held up constantly.

    1. Beautiful Benkt, we can live the love that we are with no guard or we can put up this false guard to get us through the day – but in the end we end up tired and knowing there is so much more to life. We are not here simply get through the day but rather be the love that we are – after all what is the point being here otherwise?!

77. We all have areas of strength that perhaps others may not have, and we certainly bring our unique expression to those strengths, so to compare another for being better at something than ourselves is a total dishonouring of our own expression and deeply harming to the one we are jealous of.

    1. I totally agree Lucy, it is harming and very dishonouring both to ourselves and to others when we try to compare with each other.

78. I recently started a new job and introduced a daily morning meeting where we get together and simply connect with each other. ‘How are you feeling?’ is the main question of the day. Part of this is also learning to express appreciation for each other – from small things such as appreciating one of the team who made you a cup of tea to appreciating the qualities that each of us bring. It’s completely changed the quality of the energy of the team which is now based on openness and honesty.

79. ‘…the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.’ This is such a supportive way to look at our ‘weaker’ areas. It places the responsibility for why they might be ‘weaker’ squarely back in our laps – it’s simply because we have chosen not to give those areas focus and not that we are less than someone who has one of our ‘weaker’ areas as one of their strengths.

    1. For me Lucy, it takes Jealousy and Comparison away as it puts the responsibility on me and takes me to the choices that I have made and no one else can be to blame. It also allows me to be inspired by others and if I want to be like them I know that it is only a matter of choices.

80. I agree Judy, the way Serge Benhayon gets behind people is quite incredible. The same goes for Simone Benhayon, when they are behind supporting you they are fully there, not just a little bit. When it comes to love there are no half measures and Serge and Simone are prime examples of how we can truly live a life a love.

81. Thank you Shelley, essentially we are all one and the same equally divine beings when we take away all the layers we have put on. The more we honour this in ourselves and others the more we will live in harmony with each other.

82. Awesome Lieke, I love it when I deeply appreciate another person as it is often something they are not used to and you get to see the childlike innocence in their eyes. Another thing you comment reminds me of is when we share something amazing that has happened to us and the other person or people then come in with that’s cool but I did this or that. It is subtle but the digs we have at each other are pretty much constant. No wonder why depression rates are so high!

83. That is great Mary, It goes to show that when we work together and truly support each other anything is possible and the results we and the company achieve are phenomenal especially compared to when we are only there for ourselves.

84. Well said Alison, in not accepting anything less than love Serge Benhayon is a constant inspiration that we too can do the same, because we are from love. The student community show that no matter what your past is, no matter where you are from nothing can ultimately stop you from returning to live a loving life.

85. I agree Brendan, same goes for women as well. The more we appreciate each other and the qualities we bring the more we will come and work together rather than each person trying to be in control at the expense of others.

86. I agree Bernadette, we are designed to work together and be together so the more we can embrace this fact and stop our self centered approach to life the better it will be for all of us. There are then no losers as we all win when we truly work together.

87. This was a great re read Dianne. I too agree that we elder role models need to look at what we are presenting to the world and appreciate and value our journey.

88. Yes James, appreciating and celebrating our own strengths and that of others. Is a true testament of the grandness of our souls and the inspiration available within that is true learning for life.

89. Appreciating what others bring wipes out the jealousy that can occur between us. I am learning to celebrate it when others inspire me rather than going into comparison/jealousy. This is a beautiful way to live. Great sharing, James.

    1. I know Jealousy all too well Anne, both from it coming from others and from feeling it towards others. It is amazing quite how much jealousy affects us and stops us being all that we are. It is madness how the one bringing the truth, light and love gets shot down for it even though we are all from love. The best way to overcome jealousy is, as you say, appreciation, with appreciation we see each other as equals just with some having more of a mastery of their way back to love, shining the way forth for everybody else. Without the torch bearer(s) we would all be stuck in the dark.

90. Celebrating our strengths and those of others is deepening the connections between us. It is inviting ourselves and others to be more. It is reflecting us to express the strengths. What are we waiting for? 🙂

    1. What are we waiting for indeed Caroline, it is a win win situation for all involved!

91. Absolutely James, there seems to be a disconnect between the brotherhood we say we want and our actual openness to celebrating and admiring one another. I love that here you have put into practice exactly what you say.

92. Competition causes so many problems in our world. It puts division between people and sets us all up to start comparing ourselves to others, which then causes jealousy between people who are essentially brothers and sisters in this one humanity.

    1. I agree Eleanor competition ultimately breeds division. It hinders us from expressing and being all that we naturally are. Why so we can fit into the society we have accepted as being normal even though it is far from the loving harmonious state we all know deep within.

93. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ I love this sentence. It is the complete opposite of competition and shows how we can evolve together as a one humanity by learning, supporting and inspiring each other.

94. The layers of protection men walk around with is a constant act which becomes very exhausting, what you have presented James evolutionary and very much needed

    1. It s an exhausting act Joe, trying to keep up the mask and the pretense. It is so freeing and less exhausting when we let go of trying to be anyone or anything and are simply ourselves – knowing that what we then bring is more than enough.

95. Yes I agree James – the striving to outdo each other thing doesn’t help anyone! And in fact is very undermining of us all. As you say when we truly celebrate another’s strengths it supports them and all of us as we are helping to grow what is really needed in this world.

    1. I fully agree Fiona, nobody wins when we try to out do or compete with another. We need to work together.

96. Being able to learn from one another is such a wonderful thing. It means that we do not have to be able to do everything and so the need to ask for support is inbuilt in us so to speak. Asking for support is often something that people have to re-learn.

    1. This is so true Elizabeth, and I am one of those people who had to do that, trying to be a single mum that could do everything and resistant to asking for help. Thank-fully I have let that one go but it can be a hard one to let go of when your invested in trying to be perfect.

97. A beautiful read James – modeling the truth of who you are, deeply so is a gift to all other men. There are many men caught up in the ‘Dog Pit’, burying some of their greatest strengths, their gentleness, tenderness and sensitivity. Your discovery – ‘I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have’ – this will be changing the lives of all those around you.

98. I love returning to your sensational blog James. The power of celebration strengthens us all, when we stop and appreciate all of its gifts with open arms. Awesome thank you.

99. Before meeting Serge Benhayon, I did see being sensitive as a weakness, Although knowing that I was deeply sensitive I had tried my best to suppress it as that was just not the way I was taught a man should be. Well Serge changed all that, proving without a shadow of a doubt as he is living proof,that sensitivity is very much part of being a true man and there is not an ounce of weakness in it.

    1. Hear Hear Kevmchardy, ‘sensitivity is very much part of being a true man and there is not an ounce of weakness in it’. Growing up I battled enormously with this and like you it was not until meeting Serge Benhayon that I was able to let go of the grip of the belief that it was a weakness and even so it still catches me out at times.

    2. I love what you have so simply expressed here kevmchardy, about having taken on the belief in the past that sensitivity is a weakness. We have all, men and women alike, succumbed to the dominant ‘say so’ of our society about the way we should be. We have all denied love of ourselves and others! My mother whom I loved dearly, taught at the high school I attended and I would be embarrassed to be seen walking down the street with her after school. Yet at home we often cuddled, loved and joked together!

100. How much further advanced would mankind be if we celebrated each others strengths and got behind each other. I’d like to see an experiment down with two groups, one getting behind each other with no competition and the other all competing with each other over a series of tasks and see which one is the most productive. It’s pretty obvious isn’t it?

101. I really appreciate the insight you have offered into how competition and comparison plays out between men. I love celebrating the strengths of others and find that comparison and jealousy slip in when I do not celebrate my own strengths equally. A great reminder to keep celebrating.

102. Love what you say James, and we are able to truly appreciate the amazingness of others, when we allow ourselves to claim that in our selves.
     ‘I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others. By doing so, our strengths will build and develop and will help us in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.
     By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’

     1. Thank you Jenny, it makes such a difference when we take competition out of the equation and actually appreciate others not for what they are doing but for being themselves. It completely changes our relationships, at least it has to all of mine!

103. It can be a very lonely place, as the veil is being lifted so to are the role models that are willing to show the way.

104. A beautiful blog for all to read, theres no need to be “top dog”. Appreciating and celebrating each other is living the future for young men to have a reflection that is possible to live.

     1. Thank you Jaime, learning and appreciating that we are enough simply being ourselves without needing to do anything or prove anything is remarkably challenging itself. The more we value and honour ourselves and each other the more content we become ourselves and so the easier it becomes.

105. I just want to put it out there that sensitive and tender in a man is very sexy, and what i like to cuddle up next to of an evening. This is the opposite to the distorted physical images we see of men looking like the incredible hulk.

     1. Thanks NicoleSjardin, I agree! Not that I cuddle up to one but am one!! I love hugging men who are not afraid to show their sensitivity it goes from the hard, macho, trying to protect cold hug to a lovely warm loving embrace. It is like chalk and cheese!

106. It is beautiful to have what you have written about ‘out there’ for humanity to own and feel James – one man living and sharing his true sensitivity and tenderness opens the way for others. Thank you for choosing to live and share all of ‘You’ .

     1. Thank you ch1956, it sure does – it only takes one person to show their true tenderness and sensitivity and everyone around them starts to feel the ripple effect.

107. I agree Bina, it is one of the beautiful things about how we have been designed to work together. We are brought up to think we have to do it alone but really we need to work with each other and learn from each other.

     1. Absolutely James, every single one of us is a facet of the whole, unique in our expression and with something to bring. Acceptance of that, for me, goes a long way to accepting who I am and what I bring to the world – this make jealousy and comparison nonsense… and redundant! It all comes down to the level of love we have for ourselves and the connection we have with our bodies, and accepting that everyone else is going through the same process, without perfection, men and women alike.

        1. What I love Sandra is how each person can teach us so much not only about them and humanity but also about ourselves when we are open to it. Sure not everyone is perfect nor are we designed to be, the more we can accept this the simpler life becomes without the drive to be perfect.It is a lot less exhausting!

     2. Me too Kristy, there is getting behind someone and then really getting behind someone. You know when Serge Benhayon or one of his family members get behind you as they are there in full, no hesitation or question. It has taught me and still does a huge amount about responsibility and commitment when we are not here purely for our own vested interests but for the evolution of humanity.

     3. Hear hear Amita it sure is. No one can do it alone, even though often we think we have to do it alone to succeed and be number 1. How much more fun is it when everyone is effectively number 1?! Then everyone has everyone elses back is there supporting each other rather than wanting to prove they are better in anyway.

     4. “We are brought up to think we have to do it alone but really we need to work with each other and learn from each other.” It’s crazy isn’t it that we think we have to do it ourselves. It’s not possible and trying to do so keeps us in an endless cycle of feeling like we’ve failed. Knowing and accepting we are all simply one piece of the magnificent constellation Humanity makes up is very humbling and releases us from the need to be completely self-sufficient. No-one can see what I can see from where I stand, and likewise for every single one of us. We are all needed to complete the picture and the same goes for any smaller groups of people – work, family, friends, or even when we are alone.

        1. I loved reading that Lucy, it is amazing when we work together what happens and how much we can learn from each other.

     5. Yes James and how each one of us brings something that supports our further expansion.

        1. It is something I love when I really connect with other people, is how we each bring a unique quality, just like all the pieces in a jigsaw puzzle together we are needed to make the whole.

     6. This is a great comment James. From working together we are not only supporting one another but showing everyone that there is not one person but many that make the whole and there is little room for self in this regard.

        1. Thank you grounded08. I love it when we all work together as one and let go of all the competition and self fueled interest. We can literally move mountains when we work together as one.

     7. This is gorgeous. I can feel that this is absolutely true and that being in comparison with another is as silly as the grass being jealous of the sky because it is not blue. We are all needed and there is no need to compare.

        1. So beautifully said Leonne, ‘We are all needed and there is no need to compare.’ I could not agree more – we can all be the beaming sunflower if we so choose.

108. This line says it all to me James, “I have found that it brings a great strength to relationships, a strength where we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow.” When we are in competition with each other it is impossible to work as a team towards one purpose as we will be all have our own agendas that have to be fulfilled. Letting go of this individualistic competitiveness can bring us closer to the Oneness where we all originally came from.

     1. I fully agree Nico and wow we are so much more productive when we get our self and our self interests out of the way and simply get on with what needs to be done and work together.

        1. Indeed James, it is about getting ourselves out of the way that will make the space for the common purpose we all have here on earth and that is to work together and to move on with what needs to be done.

        2. What I love Nico is that when we do this, all work together and we get ourselves and our self interest out of the way we no longer want to prove ourselves and seek recognition from everything we do because we feel the sense of purpose and are so much more held when we truly work together. We each help support each other to be more and so no need to prove anything.

        3. And the beauty in this James, is that when we each help and support each other we will evolve much faster than we are doing now. And with evolve I meant true evolving, that is to build our connection with God and to work on our return to a way of living we come from. When we do this in harmony with each other I would call that living in brotherhood, towards the one and only purpose of our life here on earth and that is to return to the origins we came from.

109. James your words, “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other” really made me realise why we work so well in groups rather than as individuals. Especially as we begin to appreciate what each and every one of us brings.

     1. We do work amazingly well in groups as soon as we stop trying to prove ourselves or show everyone what we bring. So often we can be put off by the jostling for recognition that we miss the magic we can have when we work together. The more and more we see and appreciate what both we bring and the other group members bring the less jostling there will be and the more work will be done. I have found on my own I can ‘think’ things are going well or I am doing things well but then find I can learn so much from others that I end up doing even better than I thought was possible when I was winging it alone!

110. Celebrating our strengths and appreciating how powerful tenderness is, simply beautiful James.

     1. Thank you Jenny, I know I am constantly blown away by how powerful tenderness is, especially as I used to shy away from it thinking it was a weakness. I love looking into a fellow mans tender eyes when they have dropped trying to prove themselves and have allowed themselves to simply be, the power and beholding energy tenderness brings is very absolute.

        1. Gorgeous James. The connection that deepens when we surrender to another, letting down our walls of protection is profound.

        2. It sure is Jenny, thank you. It is amazing what we can then learn from each other when we let people in and stop putting our defences up in anticipation of an attack.

111. Thank you James. I realise that I still have ways I protect myself from perceived hurt in myself and others and what a waste of energy this is and how much it can delay and cause harm. It is in feeling my strengths that I come to this realisation and can bring myself back to brotherhood again.

     1. That is awesome Elaine, there are so many areas which catch me out. What is great is that now I am seeing them quicker and quicker rather than allowing myself to get caught up in them for the whole day, days, weeks, months or carrying them with me for years. I am learning to appreciate myself more and more and this makes a huge difference as it put the brakes on me trying to go out and prove myself. After all what could I have to prove to anyone if we are all equal sons of God?

        1. Perfect James, there is something I have been carrying and I have now opened it up and have started to deal with it, only to find the other person concerned has been even slower at dealing with their side. Yes we are all equal sons of God and there is absolutely nothing to fear and nothing to prove. There is however much cause for celebration and this is what I realise from your reply. Thank you.

112. It is such a setup to always feel not good enough.. there are always people who we deem to be better, but I am very inspired by your words that it is about celebrating those strengths and get to feel that there are parts of life I am very good at, and as I am very much supported by getting that confirmed by others. I can feel how this would be for others supportive to.

     1. Thank you Benkt, it is fascinating the way we can view things differently in life – 2 people can look at the same situation or incidence and see completely different things. For example, 1 may see it as an opportunity to learn whilst the other may see it as a moment of failure. What it then brings it back to is us the individual and our outlook and whether or not we have an ideal picture of the way things should be and so if they are not this ideal way we get disappointed.

        1. Realising that there is no “right” or “wrong” is such a big thing. Suddenly the enormous pressure of always doing the right thing is gone and it feels like the fog is clearing and we are able to see what is truly there and can choose freely what seems supportive for us.

        2. I agree Michael it takes a huge weight and pressure off my shoulders. I used to always get caught up in trying to do the right thing but that was only right according to my picture of how I wanted things to be rather than what was truly serving for all. It may sound subtle but is a massive difference.

113. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” Celebrating the strength of others only strengthens us all and gives us the opportunity for growth, that’s a pretty spectacular thing I feel. Cutting others down only halts us all evolving.

114. The tenderness of a man is something very beautiful to feel. The walls of protection are down and there is an openness and realness about them.

     1. I agree Anne, just like the tenderness and gentleness that we see in our young sons, absolutely beautiful.

        1. It only takes one man to express and show is tenderness and other men get to feel what it is really like to not put on any bravado or show. It may take a while to let go of all the walls of protection we have been carrying thinking this is the only way to get through life but slowly we can all return to the exquisiteness we once expressed from and were as a child.

115. It is time we learn to nurture young boys and girls to keep the sensitivity they feel as children, not ask them to take on the world, but encourage them to know themselves first, and to know that their sensitivity is a strength and not a weakness.

     1. I agree Sally and the best way to do this is to live it ourselves as children learn best through observation. By truly raising our children and not simply letting them be a product of the education system they will stay empowered to be there own person and will know in full who they are and so will not be swayed by the miasma of fog we all tend to get caught up in growing up.

116. Hiding who we truly are and not showing all of us, how on earth should this lead to a life full of joy and harmony?

     1. Your right Micheal, expressing who we are in full is the only way to joy and harmony

117. We are brought up to constantly compete with each other under the pretension that we will grow and develop by that. To realise what an amazing development is possible if we do support each other and value our strengths is just amazing – and should be considered to be the normal way of life.

118. I really dig this blog James, I also feel if we all worked together using our strengths instead of trying to outdo each other the results would be amazing. It would be just the same as if companies or even countries worked together with one common goal with no competition.

     1. That would be true brotherhood

119. Before coming to Universal Medicine I was only half living. I had created an idealised persona I was desperately trying to live up to. Needless to say I was never satisfied with who I was or what I did. Once a stage had been reached there was always the next one to work for. Years ago I worked in a book shop where we were given a sale target to reach each month. Most times we did manage but the management would always ratchet up the next month target so it was a never ending game of chasing sales. Competition with oneself or others is soul destroying, this much I know now.

     1. I know what you mean Patricia, the world is set up to constantly get you chasing something whether it be beating a target, surpassing a goal but none of it really matters if we do not consider the quality and the way we are. It is easy to do ‘better’ but if it comes at the expense of our bodies then what are we really achieving? This is one of the reasons most people are exhausted. Ultimately anything we do which is at the expense of our bodies is going to be draining to us and tire us out. Universal Medicine has shown me a way to be where my quality and output can increase yet I am not exhausting my body. The less I am focused on the outcome and more on how I am with what I am doing everything becomes in sync and somehow everything gets done!

120. Whilst we play the game of trying to get ahead, there will always be comparison, jealousy, a winner and a loser which breeds separation. Through celebrating and appreciating ourselves this then naturally extends to others. We all support each other to evolve and no one gets left behind.

     1. I agree Donna, and I find that this game of trying to get ahead is actually hard to get away from in society, it is all around us. My children have just started school and the game is well at play all around them.

        1. Competition is everywhere and as you say Heidi it does start early. But it is up to us as parents to educate our children and not just let school bring them up. They can then be an example to the other children and not just accept things the way they are. We have seen what is going and so have a responsibility to change things.

121. Well said James the expectations society puts on males from such an early age is unrealistic and unnatural, males are naturally tender and Serge Benhayon is an awesome example of how all men should be living and expressing

     1. Indeed Joe, Serge Benhayon sure is a great example of how we can all be all of the time.

122. Thank you Amanda, one of the saddest things I have seen is that people measure success by their achievements in comparison to others. If they are doing better than someone else than this is considered a form of success. The goal is always to get to number 1, which inevitably means there will always be a number 2 and so on. Then we get caught in having to maintain the number 1 position with the number 2 and those lower down never feeling quite good enough. This is all based on output rather than the quality of what we are doing, if this was the measure then we could all be number 1, in other words it eliminates the need to compare to anyone else. We all are a culmination of billions of choices and so how can we possibly compare where we are or what we are doing with anyone else?

123. Serge Benhayon is a role model for men and women alike to inspire us all to honour each and every person as equal and with true love. There is great strength in a man being sensitive and tender with himself and others.

     1. I agree Mary, there is indeed great strength when we honour our sensitivity and tenderness, it is quite remarkable the more and more I explore how deeply sensitive and tender I am. Far from it being a weakness as it can commonly be perceived as being.

124. Thank you Jacqmcfadden, I am deeply sensitive but so are we all equally so. The more of us, men and women, who can show that it is ok to be sensitive, in fact it is important to be aware of everything that is going on, the more other people will start to be more open to their feelings and sensitivity and not try to shy away from it thinking it is somehow a sign of weakness. We need to claim who we truly are and the love that we all come from.

125. Its great to not have to buy into this type of mentality or structure as quoted so well james in your opening lines “As men, it is as if we are brought up to be in a dog pit – constantly competing to be the top dog, always needing to show our superiority in whatever way we can so effectively we will not get crushed by the world or by others.”
     By sharing our weaknesses and not competing we can allow others to do the same .

     1. I agree Greg, it is something I have loved about the Universal Medicine community is how as men we are are opening up more and more with each and not trying to out do one another. What it has confirmed for me is that we are all the same just often our hurts get in the way and we we react to others or try to bring them down instead of celebrating them or sharing our weaknesses. The more I have then put this into practice the more I have noticed it has allowed others around me to do the same, the ripple effect is quite huge.

126. Hear hear Amelia, our sensitivity should be honoured and revered. There is so much more going on in the world then simply what we can see with our eyes and touch with our hands. We can all feel this and as you say it brings a deeper level of responsibility knowing that everything we do has an effect on everything else.

127. The saddest part of it all is that everyone can see the uneasy way in which men live trying to fit in and claim who they are and that they matter in the world.

128. It is so refreshing to witness men being willing to be open about how they feel in relation to other men. It is all too often not talked about, and the usual dynamics are left to fester and magnify. Thank you James for being willing to look deeper and contribute to the change that is so desperately needed for the sake of everyone.

     1. Thank you Rebecca, I agree it is lovely to be a part of a community where men are willing to be open and talk about what is really going on rather than simply keeping everything on a very surface superficial level. We are as equally sensitive as women just mostly do not acknowledge it as much as we see it as a form of weakness rather than the true strength that it is.

129. I used to see everyone as a threat or a target – so it was a constant siege mentality where I was guarding my deep emptiness with my identification with what I could do and how well I could do it – there was not an ounce of me that considered I was already enough as I was from my quality within as I was not interested in my quality… then you meet Serge and he looks at you and in that look he says ‘I know who you are and it is magnificent’ and it has nothing to do with what you do or your status or blaa blaa – he connects directly with your Soul because he has to his own. And we can all do this as we choose to live from our inner-heart and build a soul-full life, we can through our own living quality call others to that same love within them – and so we all work together.

130. Tender James it is awesome that you wrote this powerful and truthful blog. I love it that you show the world that men can be more than being a “right” man: “I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.” I hope that more man can read your amazing blog so that they too can stopp putting on to live up to the version of what they thought they needed to look like as a man.

     1. Thank you Ester, I agree it would be great for more men to read the blog, but more importantly for more men to open up to their sensitivity and not feel that to get by on life we need to toughen up and be all macho. The more we all support each other men and women to truly express what we are feeling the more we will get to know quite how delicate, sensitive and tender we all are irrespective of our gender.

131. For you to embrace the sensitive man that you naturally are and to be able to release the tension that you, and all other men, must be carrying from adopting and living the accepted view that men are expected to be tough, hard and macho, is incredibly inspiring James. What an inspiring example you are for all the other men you interact with daily. There is no longer the need for the tough guy role but to live who you truly are, a tender, sensitive and beautiful man.

     1. Thank you Ingrid, there sure is no need to try to pretend to be all tough and macho anymore. I actually enjoy being myself now whereas before I always wanted to be somebody else constantly looking out towards others for ways to improve myself but missing the fact that everything I could want I can access within, as we all can.

132. A beautiful blog James written by a beautiful, tender loving man.
     Thank you for highlighting the benefits of focussing on our strengths, which in turn give us the inspiration, platform and courage to deal with our hurts and weaknesses.

     1. Thank you Shirl, I have found when I have tried to address my hurts and weaknesses head on so often I have got caught up in them whereas when I approach them from my strengths I see them far more clearly. I have to give full credit to Serge Benhayon for getting me to see it this way as it has made such a huge difference to my life.

133. James thank you for sharing. I have seen men be very tender and graceful with one another and themselves, most from having attended Universal Medicine presentations. Men are naturally tender when they are connected to themselves, how different the world would be if all men and women were connected to their natural tenderness.

     1. Today someone brought their baby in and I had the joy to observe a man’s response to seeing the baby. He openly showed how touched he was by her beauty -his face was so loving and gentle and how he moved so tender. So beautiful.

        1. Karin, What a beautiful, tender and delicate vignette of a man touched by the presence of a baby. Thank you for sharing!

134. Competition is fuelled by the same energy that brings us war.

     1. Exactly Michael: ‘Competition is fuelled by the same energy that brings us war.’ And we train them very young so that they will always be caught in the adversarial momentum, always anxious that they will be the loser, untrusting of others who might at any moment unseat them so that they topple. It can be difficult for Love to prevail even though it is the stuff we are made of.

        1. Spot on Lyndy. Comparison is rife in playgrounds all around the world. The joy of spontaneous play has been infected with the win or lose motto that always leaves on person feeling less. How can play then be enjoyable?

        2. It is sad Lyndy. We see children at a young age merrily and joyfully playing with each other then as they grow up this starts to change and slowly they try to dominate each other, be in control and the whole dynamic changes. It is no longer sweet and innocent. Instead of simply being themselves they go into having to prove themselves. I have noticed this happening at a younger and younger age. It is time we stopped and truly honoured our children for who they naturally are rather than trying to mould them into something we want or need them to be.

135. It is so ridiculous really when you consider that we try and shoot down the person who is stepping up, the very same person that could support us to step up along with them. Very silly people we are at times.

     1. I agree Mary-Louise and James. What we have to realise though is that we are getting something out of this cycle. There is an investment in this way of being – it’s comfortable because it is known. Stopping the cycle involves taking responsibility for our choices – warts and all, which takes us out of this comfort zone. Totally worth it if you ask me, although if I’m honest, I still oscillate between comfort and responsibility.

        1. I agree Lucy, it does involve taking heaps of responsibility and like you oscillate between choosing responsibility and not. However, the more I have accepted I am not perfected nor am meant to be the less critical I now am on myself and so the less I wallow in my irresponsible as can bring myself back to responsibility much quicker than I used to be able to do.

     2. That’s awesome James – a great one for me to read and feel. Accepting that I am not perfect – yes I have done that but, accepting I’m not meant to be…that’s been a different story. It’s amazing how perfectionism can be seen for what it is from a mental perspective and et at the same time, we can still try to live up to it! I feel in reading your comment James I have given myself permission to let go of the ridiculous and impossible ideal of being perfect. After all, we are not meant to be as you so beautifully say 🙂

        1. That is awesome Lucy, it is a hard one to shift but takes so much pressure off when we can let go of trying to be perfect.

136. I agee Amanda, being open to feeling what is going on and understanding life is a huge strength in itself. Saying yes to love and no to all the abuse that is going on in the world takes courage, it means putting your neck on the line for truth, it may be hard at times initially in the beginning but is definitely worth it.

     1. Oh, how far we have strayed from love that we have become afraid of putting our neck on the line for truth. Considering we come from Love and love is truth, it’s pretty daft isn’t it? BUT… no looking back. We are like little children, tentatively dipping our toe in the water of truth, getting used to the temperature – but once we realise that stepping in to the waters of truth is who we truly are then maybe we will remember what truth feels like and there will be no more holding back. And yes the journey will be so worth it… well that’s my experience anyway 🙂

     2. I agree Amita, truth does build love amongst everyone. It is a common denominator which we can all feel. Truth simply states things the way they are and has no room for lies, deception or abuse. The more truth we live with the more we will all re-gain trust in society and humanity. And so the more we will all start to work together, as we have been designed to do instead of seeing ourselves as individuals and living life for self gain over the expense of others.

137. As I deepen my celebration of myself I keep being amazed by myself and as that is happening so I am finding myself amazed by others. What an enriching cycle.

     1. It is a very enriching cycle Jonathan, what I am also constantly amazed by is that there is no end point or place to get to as there is an ever deepening of love, a constant ongoing expansion.

138. Choosing competition is not fun, it stops me from being playful and truly accepting someone else’s and my own qualities. So this is very inspiring to read James celebrating each others strength brings unity, while competition only brings separation.

     1. Yes, Benkt and James – celebrating our strengths and saying no to competition is the only way to go. Experiencing men relating in this way is so completely beautiful for us women to see and feel. It only makes us love men more and more.

139. James, I love the feeling of being inspired by others and what they do rather than allowing jealousy and comparison in. I can still feel the tendrils of jealousy creep in but I can see it more clearly now and know that when I am jealous I am making myself so much less than what I truly am and this hurts me. Celebrating others is a foundation of true brotherhood.

140. Thank you James. Celebrating our strengths is so important. I learned this recently having won the 2015 NSW Health Excellence in Nursing and Midwifery Consumer Appreciation Award. The more I am able to celebrate my strengths the more I can celebrate and appreciate the strengths of others. I would not for example be where I am today without the love, support and teachings of Serge Benhayon. When I first met Serge I was ready to quit nursing. Through his presentations I came to see that the way that I was living is what was making me want to quit nursing and not what was going on in nursing itself. The more I started to look at my strengths and celebrate them the more I was able to deal with my hurts and this changed everything for me. Serge Benhayon is a true role model in that he always celebrates others for who they are and what they bring. This then has a flow on affect in that I can now easily celebrate others and acknowledge when my support came from.

141. Serge simply lets us all be and lets everyone in warts and all. This is amazing to be held by and it truly is no more simpler than that!

142. “We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing, and by doing so, we are helping to take away the notion and idea of competition; that we should always be striving to outdo each other.” This is a great insight. I can feel that celebrating the strengths of myself and others builds a foundation of trust. From this trust, we can grow together.

143. Celebrating others for what they live instead of jealously fighting what we do not yet live. Feeling inspired instead of challenged or appalled – what a totally different and so much more constructive approach is that!

144. That is awesome to read Katie, we are so much more loving, and fun to around when we are simply being ourselves and not trying to or pretending to be all macho.

145. I agree Katie, it can only be done by showing others through reflecting another way of being, a way we all naturally are as children but lose when we grow up.

146. Having a picture of what our ideal ‘man’ should look like is also another tremendous pressure and an instant rejection of his true nature. Sometimes we look for the tough guy because a man in his tenderness and sensitiveness will instantly expose some of the games women play, to not have to go to a deeper level of intimacy, to hide in relationships, or to not be asked to be more than she has chosen as her level of comfort. But the immense power of that man’s tenderness also allows a woman to trust and open up to blossom into more of who she truly is.

147. I have seen and experienced Serge Benhayon many times, completely supporting and endorsing other men, and women for the strengths and who they are. He does it with no holding back and it is a great reflection that we can also do the same, this is brotherhood and helps us evolve to a more loving way with one another, than competition and judgement.

     1. Yes, Thomas, “it is a great reflection” to see Serge Benhayon get behind and celebrate the strengths in others. It is genuine, and one is totally being met and held by Serge in this moment. To see this, to feel this, you can’t help but recognise the solidarity, the brotherhood, the unifying quality this introduces to the relationship, which then fosters this in the relationship within ourselves, that we then bring to all our other relationships with people. No room for competition, just celebration and being inspired by the qualities in other people.

148. Its strange that its very unusual that we see a man appreciating another man for who they are, or to see a man appreciating themselves , there is often a downplaying of oneself that goes on, that’s considered normal.

149. Thank you for your very insightful and amazing blog James, I agree taking the competition away and celebrating other peoples strengths, makes for more harmonious friendships without the tension and stress, could this in fact be our natural way of brotherhood that we forgot a long time ago?

150. Serge Benhayon has such a deep love for others, for everyone and it is a real blessing to observe and hear him appreciate others so affectionately and lovingly. Serge Benhayon really does show that Love is the way 💖

151. This is so true James – What I find interesting is that as men we have also come up with a system whereby we each choose and specialise in a specific area that we can become the champion of, holding the trophy as our own in order to be able to present this to other men as a way of relating to each other. This can be in any area of life and we then shape the rest of our life around it.

     1. It feels so powerful and heartwarming to hear men share so honestly and openly about this.Thank you.

152. I love how you have redefined what sensitivity means to you James – as a strength – simply knowing how you are feeling. This is just pure gold.

153. By celebrating the strengths of others as well as appreciating our own strength we knock out jealousy.

154. Absolutely Katie – comparison and competition is a dis-ease amongst society, like weeds that have no place growing in our natural flora. It is crazy to compare ourselves to one another when we all bring such uniqueness to the world, equally so. We are all expressions of the same thing… Love… how can we compare how another brings it to the next? Yet we get stuck in this way of thinking from not appreciating the Godliness we can bring in each step and every breath.

     1. Well said Katie and Rachael, we each have so much to bring to the world simply by being ourselves. The problem comes when we try to be the best at everything and think we can do it alone. When we simply bring all that we are and work together as a team it is quite amazing what is possible. We can use the Pyramids as an example of what is possible when people come together in harmony without any of the competitiveness and jostling for the position of top dog we are now so used to.

155. Great blog James – we are certainly not made to be here and ‘do it all’. We are each an imperfect piece of the puzzle – all that is needed is for us to connect to who we truly are and bring the quality that is innate to us – whatever that may look like.

156. Thank you James for addressing this ‘game we play as men’ and as several of the comments have shared, it is our awareness of the force of jealousy that allows us to develop understanding and hold true to who we are – and this is our true strength.

     1. I agree Greg, there is so much strength in holding true to who we are. So often it seems easier to succumb to the ‘pressure’ around us of how we should be as a man, we lose track of our tenderness and playfulness we all begin life with. The question often arises how can such a tender sensitive boy grow up into a tough hardened man? The more we stay true to ourselves the more everyone gets to enjoy us in natural loving state.

        1. Thank you James and Greg. From a woman’s point of view, enjoying men in their natural loving state is one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Forever presented with the man’s man, I always revered men who were in touch with their feelings and I resonated with their deep sensitivity. But it no longer needs to remain hidden as it is finally becoming what is truly normal, natural and accepted, and it is, truly divine.

157. Agreed Michael, this makes no sense at all and yet we indulge in jealousy and comparison to an extent that we do not even know that we are. The true beauty of men should be encouraged, celebrated and loved so that more men can open up to living this for themselves.

158. We actually lose sight and completely forget who we are. To the point that we think that who we are trying to be is who we are.

     1. Spot on Sally. We become what we ‘think’ we should so much so we lose the innocent child who started to play the game to fit in. It is as if we bury our inner child with layers and layers of ideals about the way we should act and behave, so much so that we morph into a different person, cut off from our true nature.

159. This is what stood out for me today – We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing. I feel that the more that we celebrate our strengths and the strengths of others will drastically stop the epidemic of holding back.

     1. Beautifully expressed Simone – it is so important to take stock of our strengths and values in order to celebrate them. I bet many people out there, including myself, have trouble seeing what their strengths actually are! Just shows the enormous amount of contraction and holding back going on in the world. I feel appreciation is key here in understanding and honouring ourselves first.

        1. I agree James, appreciation of ourselves is a great first step, which brings more openness to truly appreciating others, not in a comparing way but celebration of them. And feeling this confirmation and appreciation from others helps us to remember that we are not our failures, which seem to always take centre stage, but rather these are opportunities to learn from, and in that learning we get to know ourselves and our true strength. Brotherhood is understanding our absolute equalness with all and supporting each other to return to that together.

160. I agree Alisonmoir, we are all equally sensitive yet spend so much time trying to hide our sensitivity. It is quite bizarre really. The more we honour and celebrate each other for who we are and not what we do then the less of the game we will play with each other and the more loving all our interactions and relationships will be.

161. I see this develop from young. In school we often champion one way as it and we measure the kids against this and in affect there is a comparison that is set up from young- a comparison in how they are doing towards what we deem as successful.
     This needs to change, we need to educate children in a way that supports them to know themselves and know their strengths (every child) and then educate them in a way that supports them to learn from each other, grow and appreciate what they have to offer and also who others are. We need to teach them a way of how to be with each other, work as a team and know how to support each other.

     1. Hear hear Kristy educating children how to be with others is extremely important. Taking away the need to compare and compete with others takes away a lot of the angst and jealousy that is felt amongst school children which then affects us all into adult life.

     2. Kristy, that would be amazing if we are taught to know our strengths as children, I know for me, I was only taught or told my weaknesses, I can recite them by heart, but I am actually only beginning to learn now (at 28) what my strengths are.

        1. And wow Meg your strengths are pretty amazing :). It is absurd how we do not truly celebrate people, regardless of their age, for simply being themselves. Growing up I was championed for ‘successes’ those on the sporting field or at school. It is great when we honour people for who they are, for me, having Serge Benhayon do this and now many others, has really supported me in starting to value myself and build confidence.

        2. I’m lucky to have amazing people like you to reflect them to me 🙂 It is absurd I agree, because we grow up having no idea just how much we have to offer.

        3. I absolutely agree Meg, and James we can grow up knowing all too well our weaknesses, and at the same time not have a clue what we bring to others just by being ourselves.. And so when we look to try to bring what seems to be valued by society, we go even further off track, losing ourselves even more in the process. And in this state of being, what are we then bringing to the children in our lives, but an underlying message of the same quality.

        4. Appreciating and confirming children in who they are rather than how they are performing would be a huge in helping them gain true confidence rather than a false confidence or security that hinges on their achievement at school, sports, music etc., it will always be on shaky ground, because deep down they know this is not true foundation. There is also the continued pressure that is constantly applied – ‘they are only as good as their last goal’ kind of pressure. This kind of environment is designed to generate competitiveness, drive and comparison which create a deeply destructive dynamic not only in the schools, but which follows out into the world – and then we wonder why we have ruthless businessmen, out-of-control behaviour on the sports field, driven professionals, greed, corruption, burnout, exhaustion, and an awful lot of unhappy people.

        5. So well said Annie – you have nailed all the consequence of performance pressure. We must come back to appreciating and confirming the children of the world and ourselves. the power of this is beyond words.

        6. Absolutely – we create the people we have now from early childhood, and cement this throughout schooling and family life. It seems to me that instead of creating a true foundation, schooling currently moulds someone to not be aware of who they are and what they are here to bring.

     3. This would be great Kristy, not only confirming and appreciating the children just for who they are but also helping them understand how important it is for them to appreciate themselves and how to support and appreciate each other. If every child felt confirmed and honoured for who they are, how different would the classroom be, where kids had the space to express without feeling judged but just free to be themselves.

        1. I agree Annie, the classroom would feel completely different. There would be a lot less stress and tension from the children as they would not be trying to please the teacher or messing about to get attention. I have found the more I am confirmed for being who I am the less I feel the need for attention from others. And so instead of the classroom being unruly it would be the opposite and everyone would be working together. Sure there would be moments, but the collective of the group would not allow them to continue as there would be self correction of egging on.

162. The ‘dog pit’, what a place! Very real how men jostle for a position in the pack and can climb on each other to be one up. Our strengths are all in the choices we have made to take total care of ourselves and this is what unsettles others, there is such strength in self love.

     1. So true Matthew, ‘there is such strength in self love’ and being our natural loving selves. It is far from the ‘sissy’ image I was led to believe it was growing up.

163. That is awesome Matthew. So often we can take things personally when really it has nothing to do with us. I have all my life tried to play the nice guy, but this does not work – being truthful, loving and caring with myself has been the only way I have found to have a feeling of contentment and joy in my body and it is a vast difference to the feeling of anxiousness and aloneness I felt for so long.

164. “We appear to ‘fit in’ and we avoid rejection, but underlying this we are still living with a tension because we know we are not living with the same joy and ease that we had when we were young.” this is so true James, as men we have learnt to compromise our natural tenderness and gentleness as we know if we live that in full it will require us to face the rejection and jealously of the world so we choose to reduce the beauty that we really are to ‘fit in” but the more we choose to embrace and celebrate our tenderness the more we allow others to do the same.

     1. What I love Francisco, as you mention is ‘the more we choose to embrace and celebrate our tenderness the more we allow others to do the same’. The ripple effect is huge and slowly but surely other men, just like we have after being inspired by Serge Benhayon, start to see and realise that it is ok in fact normal to express our natural tenderness, and that we can let go of needing to fulfill the macho image.

165. I love what you have shared Michael, celebrating is our way forward and fully appreciating each other in all the various ways people present themselves. All cultures, all ages and all genders.

166. “If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do.” James Women are pros at doing this also (the latter part of your sentence). I know many women who don’t know how to cope with equality and become quite aggressive to ensure they ‘win’ whatever it is they are competing for. It’s really not a good look and certainly not a way of being that is natural to us as women or men. The only way to break jealousy from what I understand is to expose it and then build our own self worth by deepening the connection with our own love and appreciation. Jealousy would have to be the most toxic thing I have EVER felt in my body and is most certainly an energy that will lead to illness and disease so this its worth exploring. What has supported me are things like the Gentle Breath Meditation, walking, being honest and nominating what it is that is truly going on for me, but most of all its the love that I develop for myself and the care that follows in each moment i.e. what I eat, drink, how I am with myself each day, listening to and not overriding my own inner knowing, etc.. It nips it right in the bud!

167. This is a really great blog and one I’d love to show my male secondary school students. In wood work they are always competing in one way or another. Many often state they are the best at this or that and there is a constant dog eat dog mentality to always out do one another. It is seen as a normal behaviour it is done by so many of the boys. It comes through in varying ways from finishing their work the fastest despite the quality of the job lacking, jealousy of someone doing a better job (which can often get damaged/sabotaged or stolen). I often make reference to just slowing down and not competing or comparing yourself to anyone else but it feels like the boys have adopted this built in belief that to be a boy/man is to be competitive and better than the next boy. It’s great to hear that there are many now choosing a true and loving way to be and leaving the ideal and belief of being competive behind.

     1. Tracy, competition is rife and pretty much everywhere amongst men and boys growing up. We have taken it on and as way of proving ourselves, trying to be the alpha male instead of simply our loving tender selves. What is crazy is that then when someone gives us a compliment we can react to it thinking they are making a joke or in someway taking the mick, at least this is what happened with me!

        1. Yes James I know what you mean. I often say encouraging words to my students ie, well done, great job, terrific effort, I’m proud of you…and yet when I say this to them they cower away, blow it off, often blush, don’t accept the compliment etc. In the very next moment they can be showing off and saying how awesome they are and that they’re the best at this or that. Really fascinating to observe and it’s across all year levels. For me it exposes a way they feel they need to behave to fit in and to protect themselves but an unwillingness to see how awesome they truly are on the inside.

168. “Celebrating who we are leaves very little time to be distracted by who we are not” Great point Liane.

     1. Indeed Nicholas and Liane, there is so much out there trying to get us to look better, be better, achieve more it all focuses on areas where we are lacking and so we can go into a drive to achieve more whereas when we celebrate who we are then those of not being good enough simply have no opening to come in and distract us.

     2. I love this line too Nicholas – it makes life so simple… simply celebrate who you are and don’t let your attention get averted away by what you are not.

169. Michael and Lyndy, so very true, it is absurd how we hold ourselves back from love by trying to substitute it with other things even though love is what we all deeply crave and want.

170. The comparison really impedes our ability to have a lovely connection with someone where the guards are down and to fully appreciate their beauty and what they offer the world.

     1. Totally agree Annie – Comparison cripples relationships and then everyone misses out on the Glorious love that we all are.

171. Thank you for this reminder James to celebrate the qualities other people naturally bring and that we don’t need to put a ‘version’ of ourselves out there, only ‘us’ – who we are.

     1. Spot on Annie – no differing versions of us, no masks, no faces, no pretense simply all of us in all of our glory.

172. “We are brought up with the idea of showing off our strengths and feathers, just like the majestic peacock, then keeping hidden any flaws and/or weaknesses we have, just in case someone else may see them, attack us there and expose the lie we are essentially living; a lie constructed so intricately that we can get through life seemingly unmarked.”
     As men we spend a lifetime constructing this way of being only to find the very life we have spent carving out for ourselves is awful and not the joy we once knew as children, it is then a case being honest and letting go of this life we have hugely invested in, and rebuilding slowly a life with more joy and love.

173. Working together as men to strengthen the weaker areas of our lives, rather than competing against each other as men, is a totally inspiring idea James. Its time to put down our weapons, protections and hurts and embrace our tenderness and that of other men, not in a weak or pathetic way but see the strength of honouring our feelings.

174. This part of your blog stood out for me “but underlying this we are still living with a tension because we know we are not living with the same joy and ease that we had when we were young.” recently I thought adults are jealous of kids, that is why they are so often cruel to them, crush them are rude with them or indeed indulge them. They see in the child what they have walked away from and they find the reflection unbearable so instead of reclaiming back what lies within we crush and ridicule that which is living it.

     1. Mmmm. Adults being jealous of the joy of kids. I’m having a slightly cruel smile at the thought of a kid answering back to their parents who are trying to crush them; saying “you’re just jealous”. My worry is that a truth like this would just unleash a new level of fury?!

     2. This is a great point you make Vanessa. It is as if it is easier to place the attention back on others instead of looking at our own hurts and past issues to make changes for ourselves.

175. If we take competition out of the equation true brotherhood and love can then stand a chance. The old way of competition bringing about advancement can make way for love encouragement and not holding anyone back so we can all advance together.

176. This is a great point Liane, so often we are chased away from the glory by the many thoughts, issues and perceived problems we have given power to over the many years. This is constantly mirrored in our peer groups and society as a whole so that we close down that which is our natural amazingness. I love that if we choose to celebrate ourselves it starts to edge out all other things and we can build on a new foundation.

177. Exactly Rosemary, the pressures men face from society are extreme, as are the ones placed on women – and we are set up to be in comparison like men are set up to compete. The loving relationship we have with ourselves frees us up from these prisons and opens the door once again for us to love and support each other from a true heart, men and women alike.

178. This is just gorgeous James. I have also experienced watching Serge Benhayon get behind men and call out their strengths, but he does so by confirming them deeply for who they are, not saying they are great because of what they do. There is no competition in Serge Benhayon whatsoever, and he has been a role model for hundreds of men to re-claim the beauty and sensitivity of actually supporting men instead of competing with them. This clearly builds self-worth and it is amazing and heart-warming as a woman to watch this unfold amongst men.

     1. Thank you Jo, it is beautiful to watch and observe how Serge Benhayon is with other men and women. Serge is amazing at ‘confirming them deeply for who they are’, his words are then felt as they resonate throughout your whole body as a deep confirmation of yes this is me and someone has seen me for being me, not for anything I have outwardly achieved. As you said it ‘clearly builds self-worth’ which so many of us have been lacking.

     2. I agree Jo its very heart-warming. I have been able to witness men like I’ve never witnessed them before. Feeling their strength through their sensitivity and just gorgeous.

     3. I agree Jo, I love watching men re-connect to who they are and let their tenderness shine for all to see.

179. Beautiful Floris thank you for sharing, it is lovely how you are now truly starting to appreciating yourself and it is not just words. There is a huge difference between saying something and fully feeling it in the body, there is no doubt when we feel it in the body, for me it is like a huge YES I know that. The more I confirm myself the stronger the feeling becomes and the more content I become and am within myself. Like you it is an ever unfolding and deepening, one step at a time!

180. I concur Brendan it is an unimaginable freedom that has somehow become a complete reality in my life too. Yet in fact that ‘somehow’ was no accident but a very deliberate and achievable set of principles outlined by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

181. I love what you have shared here alexander1207,”I’m not my hurts, I’m love and I’m very precious and every single day I can appreciate myself and all other people”. That is really beautiful, and I can feel you are too.

182. Henrietta, I love the way you have brought into this discussion about the jealousy that happens around women. I agree it also is absolutely awful. In my teenage years and for quite a while after, I did not want to have anything much to do with other young women. There was so much back-biting, jealousy, nastiness among girls and young women, I felt quite ashamed and did not want to be part of it. I was drawn far more to male company, although as I was very shy also, I did not become very involved with them either. Actually, other than with a couple of like-minded young women friends, I found myself pretty lonely at times. People all around were so into playing roles.

183. “We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves”. I love that you have realised that it is fine for men to show just how sensitive they are, rather than cover that up in playing the role that they are tough, can’t be hurt etc. For me, I prefer the deep honesty that comes with being onself, how else do I know who I am truly dealing with? I find it beautiful to be with a man who is not ashamed to show just how he naturally is. That way, we can can have a discussion without me feeling that the man may have a hidden agenda. That is the man that I feel I can trust. And to me, it is just as important for a woman to be her natural womanly self.

     1. So beautiful James and Beverley – accepting our sensitivity is not easy at times. To nurture and appreciate our sensitivity is a must for I feel that this goes hand in hand with our awareness. Each deepening and building.

     2. So true James, “whether we are a woman or a man we are equally the same precious sensitive beings”. Such a richness that is brought to all our relationships when we accept and nurture this in the way we choose to live each day.

184. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other”
     What a transformation for you James; it is so lovely to feel the appreciation you now have for yourself and others
     It is so freeing to not live a lie, I love the way you expressed this; very inspirational.

     1. I agree Shirl, it is soo freeing and less exhausting to not constantly have to live up to the lie I had prior to Universal Medicine been living.

        1. James I can really relate to this blog and have first hand experience of living a lie and I know how exhausting it is. As Shirl said this is very inspiring.

185. Celebrating the strengths of others is incredibly rewarding. It confirms and encourages them, and it reminds me that I do not need to be great at everything, that there is always the support that is needed and that together we cover what’s needed all round.

186. I enjoyed a day today playing with my son’s babies where he so gently and tenderly fed and cuddled his toy baby. I realised when we were at the school playground after this that the pressure on him when he goes to school will potentially be not to continue to play those games and to fit in to the rough and tumble of what it is expected to be.

187. By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other. This sentence just removes any need for comparison or competing.

188. James, I love your blog, and I love all the beautiful men who have been attending presentations by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine. It is great to see all of these really sensitive and gentle men (true gentlemen) who no longer find it necessary to be in competition with other men. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” I love this statement, how wonderful it is to see and celebrate strengths in others and not become jealous or try to be ‘one-up’ on them, but to be inspired by them and learn from them. And we can certainly learn from one another. We need to appreciate what each of us can bring to the world. This is how we all should be in the world, not having to be better than others, but all working together with our own individual talents, to produce what the world needs.

189. A great blog James thank you, I particularly liked your comment…’ I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.’
     To hear a man acknowledge this is quite something. It’s never really been acceptable for men or women for that matter to be ‘sensitive’. Growing up in my experience it instantly meant you were probably hard work to be around, likely to take things personally, not able to ‘take it like a man’ or that you were a bit ‘precious’ as a woman. These were not good things to be seen to be if fitting in with peers or popularity were sought.
     Re-defining that word is very important it seems… and re-claiming the true depth of our innate sensitivity as a strength… thanks for sharing what you have, in you doing so, l’m sure many others will relate and feel more inspired to follow suit.

190. Celebrating our own strengths and those of others is so very powerful. Since men habitually tend to compete against each other (in order to protect themselves from being rejected by the world) the act of appreciating each others strengths is great medicine indeed as goes a long way towards healing the situation.

191. It is lovely being around men who are more and more so dropping their guard and simply being themselves. It is as if we are going back to play school re-learning how to be with each other without any of the ingrained behaviours we have learnt and adopted to get through life. And these behaviours have been very strong for most men so it takes a while to let them go but is definitely worth the effort. As you have both confirmed and others in the comments the difference is obvious for all when we return to our naturally sensitive selves.

192. Thanks for sharing that James. Men as a whole are so resistant to being sensitive, because of how sensitivty has been presented by society. But I have to say, Women have also lost touch of what it means to be sensitive. As a women myself, it is only in the last few years that I have started to allow myself to feel more and be more vulnerable. I think women spend much of there time trying to match the hardness of men in order to ‘get through’ life. The ironic thing is, is that men are not naturally hard, as you’ve shared here. They are gentle beings, gentle-men who are loving and caring and those that allow themselves to be this are in fact so much stronger than the man who refuses to reveal who he truly is and hides behind the bravado and macho mask.

193. That awareness of what it is we are feeling is something each of us can access, man and woman alike, in choosing to honour that by developing it, together it and we grow, and shine from inside out, gorgeous blog James thank you.

194. It is very sad to see men competing against each other to proof their worth. Why do we feel the need to act in this way at all. What happened to appreciating what we already have, instead of living to a belief we should be something else or greater that what we already are.

195. Thank you Henrietta, it is a huge lesson in life and I for one am very thankful to a Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for helping to ignite and initiate this in me. I agree that the fear of not being totally with everyone is one of the main reasons I have chosen to play ball with what is ‘expected’ of me rather than what is true for me. I did this for most of my life and still catch myself doing it. It does not help and leaves me with an empty feeling that is impossible to fill. Whereas when I say ‘here I am’, warts and all, then no matter what anyone says or does I still have a lovely content feeling with me and that is more than money could ever buy.

196. Agreed ” what a lovely way to live'” all together, supporting one another.

197. “true for me” for me this sums it all up beautifully. I know I have lived and still do at times not being true to myself, which feels like living constrained in a box. When I make a choice, a decision that is true fro me, the freedom and expansion that is felt in my body, t is the true meaning of freedom to me – to not live a life controlled by anything.

198. Thank you 1heart1love1earth it is deeply healing when we celebrate and honour each other without any competition or trying to prove anything. It is so simple yet something so many of us find so hard to do. Somehow it seems easier to pick fault in someone than to celebrate them.

199. “We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves.” There is so much here in this statement James. How inspiring for other men to read this and feel that it is possible for another man out there to be able to feel this deeply about themselves. But for me as a woman to read this too.

     1. Yes exactly Raegan, important not just for men to express this of themselves, but also to know there are women who will value it above all else in a man. I certainly came from a background where I did not do this, looking to the macho man as the ideal version. In breaking down my own walls of protection and hardness against the world, and feeling how much more to me there is, I have gained a much greater appreciation for what is really beneath the macho facade we have asked men to hold for so long.

200. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man”. Very inspiring James – when more men start to realise this and live this way, and more women support men who are willing to drop their ‘bubble’ and live the ‘man they naturally are’, society will start to change all will start to live more truthfully and hence more lovingly, especially in relationships, as you say.

201. Isn’t it interesting that in true teamwork, we can support and celebrate each other, knowing that the whole team is equally important, not just aspects of it… however, when it comes to life, we act as if we are on our own, separate, and try to ‘be on top’ as you say Thomas.
     Why do we believe that we have to ‘be the best’ – is it because we are taught that only ‘the best’ receives recognition, love, the job, the girl, the boy etc. etc…. Is our competition and comparison with each other all because we left the love for ourselves and settled for recognition?… something we forever have to work for, and always by competing with others in order to receive it.

     1. Interesting point Kylie. In true teamwork there is no competition, clambering to be noticed or games at play – just the joy of coming together for a greater purpose and no need for recognition. This is so alien to how we are raised, and we buy into the belief that we need to compete and be the best. It’s a self-defeating game and it’s great that we are now putting these beliefs under the microscope and challenging what so obviously isn’t working.

202. Great point James. What actually stops us from celebrating others? Is it merely the fact that we have not celebrated ourselves up until that point? When it feels so amazing to appreciate and support others, it makes no sense that we don’t do this all the time, with everyone we meet, as a way of life. Clearly our past choices, hurts and insecurities interfere with the beauty of celebrating life like this – which can actually be healed through appreciating our truth and strengths.

     1. I get a sense of just how it could be – relationships would blossom, as would conversation and whole neighbourhoods, nations even. People would get to know each other and trust more. Maybe even competitive sport would disappear …. now there is an idea!

203. Hear hear alexander1207, that is awesome to read. Life for me has totally turned around as soon as I stopped thinking I was the victim. Something I realised is that by playing the victim I would get attention and so it further fostered in me the belief that what I was doing was ok. Far from it, what I have, just like you, to bring to the world is huge and it is important we do not hold back, ignore it and simply allow abuse to happen all around us.

204. I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others. This is a beautiful thing to learn James, for anyone, man or woman, as competition in all it’s various forms place a big part in our lives. To truly celebrate another’s success we need to hold them as absolutely equal, and celebrate as if it were our own success.

     1. I agree Rosemary, the key is to hold everybody else as a complete equal, no matter who they are or what they may have done. We are all equally tender, sensitive and loving people.

        1. Hear! hear! James, I totally agree, Every one of us are equal, tender, sensitive and loving people”.

205. What struck me today most is your statement that we are living constantly a lie, James. And this brought forth sadness, as it is true what you are claiming. We are constantly living a lie in our society in not truly and deeply understanding that we all are connected naturally and are not enemies, like often we conduct ourselves towards another building walls of protection.

206. Part of stereotype masculinity, the man box that has so many men imprisoned behind the ideals of society, is the ‘in control’ façade. It’s a killer, literally. So many men believe that they are weak if they express how they feel or seek support and many suffer depression, loneliness and other mental illnesses. Quite often this leads to suicide. What if true strength was being able to know what to do with our feelings and being open to the support that we may need?

     1. Yes Jinya. The ‘control’ factor is lethal. As soon as we think we have to be ‘in control’ and give that impression, we have immediately separated ourselves from everyone and everything. As you say, it is a facade, an obstacle or shield put up to protect the person. This act of separation makes us feel lonely as we lose the life-giving feeling of being connected. No wonder men (and women) can get suicidal. I so agree that true strength lies is allowing ourselves to feel, to be open and even vulnerable, and let people in.

        1. Well said Lyndy and Jinya, the notion that we have to be ‘in-control’ is huge. For me it has meant that I would get frustrated when things do not go to plan, I get frustrated with others when they do not do what I think they should be doing, and sadly I miss out of the beauty of what has constellated before me so that I can understand it and learn from it. After all if everything I allow is seemingly smooth then how can I learn from my actions? Where am I going to be shown I can embrace love more and live more lovingly? Even if we can put on the act of having everything together when we do not, underneath we are constantly trying to fill up the emptiness we feel, the emptiness of not living our true selves.

207. Competition is sinister. Someone always comes second and with that comes hurt and rejection. Why not celebrate everyone for their own individual strengths. We need to stop looking at the finish line and start looking at the journey of getting there, as we have much to learn from each other. We are all unique individually and it’s this uniqueness that is required to make humanity whole.

     1. You’re right annemarie00, there is no glory in competition. There is only ‘self’. If you come first in a competition only you get to feel the elation, everyone else can only observe or react from their hurts. We don’t advance as a race this way as there will always be a division.

     2. There is no glory in competition or in beating another. It actually hurts me when I try to beat or out do another person. We can have uber amounts of success sure but not if it is at the expense of another person. ie. crushing someone to succeed is not love and so the end result cannot be loving. We are here to learn to re-turn back to being love and this means being love with everyone equally – the more we do this the more true success we will have.

        1. So true crushing someone to succeed is not love and all that can come of this is separation, resentment and ultimately an emptiness as much as we try to prop ourselves up with this false glory. So true being love with all equally is the true measure of success.

        2. Beautifully said Annemarie00, ‘being love with all equally is the true measure of success’. The love and contentedness we feel in our hearts and our bodies at the end of the day, well at at point in the day, is far more than any money or material object can ever bring us.

        3. Truly said James. There can be no joy or no true success that is gained while crushing another. It doesn’t make any sense at all and is the result of a blindness to the larger view of life, love and the universe we live in.

208. Awesome James. We have all been found to be competing with others at some point in our lives. When I think about the idea of competing and comparison, I can see it is a ridiculous thing we do. We all have our own unique flavour to bring to life and we are the only ones who can bring it precisely this way, so the very idea that we can be better or worse than another falls flat on it’s face as it is an impossibility to achieve and why would we want to we have our very own unique flavour to explore and develop.

     1. Tonisteenson, it really is ridiculous as the more we appreciate and celebrate what each other brings the more we see just how much we can all work together and compliment each other. Somehow we have got into the notion we must do life alone, struggle through at work making it all about us and our security instead of stopping to truly work together and ask for support when we need it and bring up others when they also need the support. The notion at work that competition breeds success is short lived, working together as one is what truly brings success and everyone then naturally benefits. Workers do not get burnt out and long term production increases – the key is simply to make everyone feel valued, at least it has been in my experience!

209. It is sad to see some little boys have to act tough and not cry when they are hurt to please their parents and fit in to the picture their family have for them to live up to. Males are just as sensitive as females. Societies stereotypical picture of how a male should be takes him away from the naturally sensitive delicate warm creatures he naturally is.

     1. I fully agree as well, it makes us as little boys think that we cannot be sensitive or express how we are feeling because our parents won’t like it. So we start to learn to bottle things up and keep things to ourselves. This starts at a very young age. It is amazing how such a little thing like that builds up inside men (and women) completely transforming them into acting in a way that is completely unnatural yet becomes so normal it is considered their reality and way of being, crazy really.

210. It’s incredible that we do not share and speak of others strengths daily. If we did then we might avoid some of the crazy drive that runs our life looking for acknowledgment of what we are doing instead of who we are as a person.

211. James I love what you shared here ’I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strength and the strength of others’ rather than focusing on the tension of perfection which is never enough! Or trying to live up to this idea of what a man or a woman should look like which results in endless frustration. Confirming our strengths develops an equalness and an appreciation for others in all that they bring, what a lovely way to live .

212. Thank-you James for ‘living far more than a man’ what we are always seeing beneath the put-on act and wishing men would express that sensitive natural loving, caring tender man within. What a gift. I like how you refer to time spent on our weakness as an indulgence. We are so much more than that, it is a perfect excuse really to not embrace all that we are and the responsibility we have to each other in doing so.

213. I find it very easy to look at other people’s strengths, but what I have noticed is that these strengths I notice are the strengths they put out for show so to speak. For example I will notice someone is confident when they are over confident. When I look back I realize it is often attention seeking because of their hurts of someone not cherishing them and their strengths.

214. I love this – “We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing”….how important is that!!!! Incredibly I saw. We need to truly support each others greatness and celebrate it – wholeheartedly and freely.

215. Sensitivity is not a trait often celebrated in men yet it is there in every man alive and as obvious as can be. To ignore this sensitivity gives rise to men acting in a way that is not their natural essence. Acting tough is our calling card as men, like a badge of honour yet showing our fragility is something I now recognise more and more as a strength of being a man, being able to express how I feel is likewise a real strength. The idea of what it means to be a man needs to be deconstructed as we can see from the huge rise in illness and disease, prostate cancer being one such example that the model of man that is currently celebrated and pushed is not working. James, your writing highlights this way and how it is imperative that we start to change our ways and change our perceptions of what is manly and masculine.

216. I agree Abby, when we take just an extra moment or two to stay with a colleague and confirm one of their strengths we see and feel how this one moment is adding value that is absolutely priceless and that is of course is passed on to our clients. We cannot do this if we are just focused on getting through the day without any relationship with each other or our work. Everyone misses out when this occurs.

217. So true Gail. What a lovely way to live. Ensuring that we are all in this together, pulling each other up in appreciation and love, ensuring that we can all live the fullness of who we all truly are.

     1. This is stunning – I agree what a way to live. Pulling each other up in appreciation and love…..there would not be any nervous energy or anxiety. I look forward to our returning lived way where we all choose to live the fullness of who we truly are.

218. This is great Brendan and a beautiful confirmation that by supporting yourself and living a way that is true for you connects you to the man that you are. Its crazy that men or women could be expected to be anyone else.

219. This is such a key discussion and as much as it is written for men I feel it is equally relevant to women. The constant competition of working against each other and to out do each other is very ugly and does not build relationships that you can trust. Celebrating our strengths and just as equally celebrating others is such a game changer. When I have embraced and allowed myself to see others awesome qualities then to act on this with them really does create an environment of being equal and together. It feels so natural this way.

     1. I agree Natalie. When we choose to celebrate our strengths and equally celebrate others we are inspired to grow.

220. Indeed Gill, ‘realising that our true strengths lie within, not outside us is a celebration in itself’! It is, well at least for me anyways, a huge relief that I do not need to be anything or to prove myself to anyone as I am already everything I could ever want to be.

221. Thank you Natasha, being a part of the esoteric community and getting to know many of the men who are committed to also living in a loving way which honours our tenderness has also helped me enormously and showed that it is possible to also live this way. The support of other men has been huge and the more we all live this way the more normal it becomes and so the more men we also inspire. The ripple effect is huge as we are all equally sensitive and tender just many of us have been hurt so much that we keep it to ourselves.

     1. It is such a shame that most men keep this part of themselves to themselves. I can also say the same about women and their delicate tender nature but there is something so special and amazing with a true tender gentleman allowing himself to be super gentle and tender. It feels so lovely when men honour themselves and I really enjoy being around all men that let their guard down and have a natural ease in being themselves in tenderness. its so beautiful.

        1. Me too Natasha, it becomes a very loving and caring environment. I find quite a lot of the time amongst men there is the constant pressure to try to prove myself, to prove my worth so to speak and all that happens is we tend to each become hard and rigid and lose the playfulness. Slowly though the more I stay with myself the more other men around me also do the same – it only takes 1 person to start it and slowly we all melt, as has been the case with Serge Benhayon!

        2. Absolutely James, I love it so much when people are being playful and often times when I’m not feeling so onto of things it brings such light to the air. There is an amazing amount of joy that comes from expressing and not holding back .. and this does inspire other people to be more playful as well.

222. Thank you Shami – it is great the unfolding the blog has had with all the comments from everyone adding to it. We do indeed confirm all that we are when we celebrate what each of us bring. It makes a big difference and takes away the constant desire and need to be better, or to prove myself or even to be perfect which I grew thinking I somehow needed to be in order to fit in.

223. It does make a huge difference Abby. Appreciating what each person at work brings to the team helps keep everyone working together instead of pitting ourselves against each other as can so commonly happen especially in sales environments like I work in.

224. I loved reading this blog again James. It is so simple in it’s delivery and contains such a powerful message. Comparison and competition are out. Appreciation and celebration of ourselves and others equally for our strengths is in.

225. Wow James this is beautiful, I loved reading you article and hearing about your development. This part stood out for me in celebrating another “We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing,” this is such a supportive way to relate to another, no competition can enter when we celebrate another.

226. As adults we are the role models for the next generation of boys becoming men. By including them in our conversations about our feelings and consulting them, they are empowered to honour their inner life.

     1. We are role models indeed Jinya not just for the next generation but also for our fathers, grandfathers and our current generation. The more we honour who we truly are and what we are feeling and stop trying to play the macho games the more other men and even women see this as normal and acceptable and actually something to aspire to. For many men so entrenched in their current lifestyle this may be too much but everyone given the space and support no matter how far they may have tread from themselves can return to living the gloriousness that they are.

227. This is so true Simon. When James writes…” We appear to ‘fit in’”…it really struck me how mastered we can be in showing all the signs of doing well and doing it right, yet for me there was such a gulf between who I am in essence and all those things I did to fit in. The really remarkable thing, once I dropped them, I seemed to fit in better!

     1. Great point Joel. I have found the same because essentially I am now living far more content with myself and so am not looking outside of myself to fit in. It is a lot less exhausting! Sure I am not partake in some activities I used to do as part of fitting in like drinking but I now don’t see not doing that as not fitting in rather the people doing it are not fitting in! It turns it on its head! Being a part of the Esoteric Community is a real blessing, a community where I am honoured, accepted and confirmed for simply being myself – so yes I now fit in more than ever before!

228. Thanks for sharing simplesimon888, it is sad to think how far we tend to as men live away from who we naturally are. It is sad that society wants us to be the strong, tough guy. It is sad to see so many men and women walking around putting on these ‘roles’ to satisfy expectations. We can either dwell on that or make changes and just like Serge Benhayon be an example to other men and women. It is awesome there are now so many other men and women taking these steps.

229. Such a beautiful sharing with us James – In your words “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves” Since I’ve attended presentations/workshops as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am constantly inspired to live in a way that allows more self love into my life – this has led me to open up doors of endless possibilities. Who knows perhaps that too in itself has initiated inspiration in others also.

     1. I am sure it has Marion. We all have the same innate love and sensitivity it is just how much we have buried it. It has not gone it has simply been covered over. The more we see other people express from this place the more we remember and re-connect to ourselves. From there the journey begins.

230. “I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others. By doing so, our strengths will build and develop and will help us in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.” Appreciating and celebrating ourselves and each other is so important in a society that seems to feed on putting people down when they reach a place of achievement. The British especially seem to like an under-dog – is this fair?!

     1. It is crazy sueq2012, my feeling is the reason why people like to be the underdog is because their is no pressure on them, no jealousy, no body trying to take them off pole position. Whereas when you are out front leading seemingly everyone is trying to catch up with you and pull you down instead of being inspired by you and wanting to learn what you are doing. It comes down to be all about self and the individual rather than looking at the true good for the whole group and the whole of humanity.

231. That is an interesting statistic richardmills very scary how we bring up our children but no surprise as I went through this experience like most of us. Something I have found is that when we truly celebrate someone for what they bring then they naturally flourish in other areas as well, whereas when we effectively crush someone they beat themselves up and mess up in other areas as well or they learn to push through with a drive and with an underlying need to please everyone so they are not rejected – both are equally harming.

232. So very true Brendan, we are quite literally bombarded with ideals about what a men should look like and be like from all angles. It takes a lot of strength to stand up and say no, this is me, I am naturally sensitive, delicate and tender and the more of us who do this the easier it becomes. I wrote this article as well which further expands the point you have raised Brendan: http://www.unimedliving.com/men/true-man/men-are-we-set-up-to-fail.html

     1. It is gorgeous to read the expansion of the comments here on your article James, to gain a deeper understanding of the pressures that men face from a very young age to be something that they are not naturally. Women too have certain pressures, but it is interesting to learn how it is a little different for men and it is helping me appreciate the natural, tender beauty that is there in men.

        1. That is lovely to hear Donna and yes I fully agree it is awesome to read and see the unfolding and deepening with all the sharings and comments.

     2. Agree James, it takes a lot of strength to stand up and say no to the ideals and beliefs imposed on us as men as we will have to face the rejection of those not wanting to embrace their own tenderness within themselves.

233. I like the way you present the pressure on men being presented to us in life Brendan. It makes me think of how this actually worked for me. I can feel that there is a pressure from society to men in being a certain way and that there are a lot of different tastes presented, of how to be as a man, which are accepted by society for men to choose from. Because of this different tastes we can choose from, I chose one that fitted me perfectly and with that I was in the illusion that I did not conform to any prescribed way of being, but that I was just me. How evil is that, compared to where I am now, unraveling all the false ideals and beliefs I have taken on, revealing the sensitive and tender man I am, of which the taken on ‘ideal man image’ was just a faint reflection of the man I truly am.

234. I can really feel how men do want to drop all the protection and just be the young boy inside once again. Today I watched two men sitting next to each other, being naturally affectionate. At one stage one of the men laid his head on the other mans shoulder and it was so tender and exquisite I wanted to hug them both and thank them for just expressing the love they felt for each other in all it’s innocence. A melting moment.

235. Well said Carola, appreciating and confirming both our strengths and those of others helps rebuild trust and gives us the confidence in life to shine and do what we feel to without needing to moderate what we are doing, or change for anyone.

236. Love the idea of sensitivity as a superpower. Let’s not keep it hidden!!

237. It is very powerful when we celebrate our own strengths and appreciate the strengths of others. I used to always focus on my weaknesses that I felt needed improving or working out. By concentrating on my strengths, and feeling others strong where I am weaker, the weakness get pulled up and gradually recede in size too.

     1. Yes Gill, it is indeed very powerful when we celebrate our strengths and appreciate the strengths of others. Like you, my weaknesses were to me what stood out, and were something I had to get right or do better at rather than appreciating what I was /am naturally good at. By sharing what comes easily to us, everyone benfits and learns and is inspired to do the same for themselves. And by being aware of our weaknesses but not making them bigger than our strengths they start to not be something to be ashamed of, simply something that we are not as good at as someone else. That we simply can celebrate each others strengths!

        1. I agree Gillrandall and Sandra, I used to find myself getting caught up in trying to hide or pretend I knew something or was good at something so it was not perceived as weakness. Last minute cramming or checking something reminds me of the facade I used to live by. It was all about trying to be seen to be ‘doing good’ but never was it about the quality I was doing things in and with or the quality of my body. As long as everything looked good from the outside I was happy but not fully content. True contentment only comes from living love, understanding and appreciating life and the lessons we are here to learn.

238. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.” This is beautiful James. How many of us are caught up in the mary-go-round of making up an ideal of what we think someone else thinks a man should be and then trying to live up to that? Much simpler and true to be living as the men we are, in all our imperfections, while celebrating our successes and those of the men around us.

     1. Beautifully said Lee, I know many of us are trying to live up to this fictional idea of what a man or what a woman is, and because it is not true and does not exist we set ourselves up to fail. We are not here designed to be perfect and trying to be will only cause endless amounts of frustrations, which I know all too well!!

     2. And as a woman, I can say that we can also get caught up in the same merry-go-round of trying to live up to a set of ideals of what we’re supposed to be as a mother, wife, friend, daughter etc. and then together as men and women, we also get caught up in the same merry-go-round of trying to live up to a set of ideals about what a relationship is etc…. It’s crazy when I think about it, because when we remove this competition and comparison, life can be so much simpler and joyful for everyone…!

        1. Thank you for adding that as well Angela, regardless of our gender competition, comparison and jealousy is rife amongst people. It is as if to succeed we have the notion it means being ‘better’ than another rather than understanding that to truly succeed in life means bringing everyone with us.

239. Absolutely Katie, it is actually through feeling my sensitivity and expressing that when I feel most empowered

240. I truly love your line James, “I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others”. Understanding that i didn’t need to be good at ‘everything’ was such a relief some years ago. Said from someone who used to put so much pressure on herself to be good at everything, be a perfectionist. No one was asking me to, it was coming from a lack of self worth within myself, a lack of confidence in being able to let things go. So to learn to celebrate my weaknesses, embraced them, ‘choose’ to put energy into those things that i want to strengthen, has been truly loving to understand and embody.

     1. Great points Raegankcairney and Alison, learning that I do not have to be perfect and in fact it is impossible to be perfect has been a huge learning for me. It has let me let go of so much tension I felt growing up, trying to fit in and be the best.

     2. I love what you have shared here raegankcairney about learning to let things go, and relating it to a lack of confidence, I wonder if it is a lack of confidence or a lack of trusting in yourself, your knowing and that everything will be taken care of depending on the choices you make. It is revelatory to hear weaknesses being spoken about in this way, it is almost like I can feel it as different parts of my body that feel more damp, and it is a choice rather than an acceptance of thats just how life is by putting energy into those areas that have been ignored for a long time.

     3. Ah raegankcairney, this was as though I was writing myself as it’s been my same experience! Feeling I had to be the master / perfectionist at everything and that if I needed support, I was someone weak or less, all coming from a lack of self-worth. It’s so true about the healing that happens when we let things go, and I’m learning to not only to celebrate my strengths but also my weaknesses without competition or comparison, which naturally flows onto to celebrating those of others.

241. Appreciating the strengths of others – really getting behind them unreservedly, and Serge Benhayon is indeed a great example of this – goes a long way towards understanding, claiming and celebrating our own strengths. We should be teaching this at school and finding our way back to brotherhood instead of furthering our individuality and thus our lack of certainty about our place in the world through competition and comparison.

     1. I could not agree more Helen, the more we are brought up to work together and not simply champion ourselves or the one who comes 1st the more we will learn we are here designed to be together, to work together and to evolve together.

242. Totally agree Oliver Snelgrove. How quick does a behavior become a trend and followed by all. You only choose to follow it to fit in and be seen.

243. James you touch on many important points in this short blog. I love the way you turn the competitiveness usually seen between men on its head and reveal it as a front to cover up perceived weaknesses that leave you open to attack. So revealing of the sensitivity of men and the need of them to embrace this as a strength. Similarly with women, if we are but honest and honour the strengths of others we will all develop ourselves instead of the current trend to pull each other down.

244. The false and widely accepted version of strength in men – being silent and stoic – is the reason why men find it difficult to talk about their feelings, let alone feel them in the first place. This makes it very challenging for many men to be in relationships where they feel, perhaps subconsciously, the pull to express their tenderness and intimacy. The male stereotype is such a strong barricade that has protected him from rejection, and in this he himself is rejecting himself constantly. No wonder men are more susceptible to taking drugs and alcohol and other risk taking behaviour to hide the pain. The ‘fortress of solitude’ that we build to fit the bill is the start of our ill health. I am learning just to acknowledge what I feel when I feel it. This is a huge step in embracing my true strength.

     1. Jinya I love that you have pointed out that not only can men react to rejection and so build the ‘fortress of solitude’ but that they are also rejecting themselves. I have experienced a similar thing where I have found that I reject myself or put myself down before anyone else can get there and do it before I do. In other words, ‘I will do it to myself so you don’t need to do it’. It is the maddest protection in the world. By simply accepting ourselves, warts and all, huge insure of natural ‘protection’ floods into the body – love.

245. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ This is so refreshing and inspiring to read. What a contrast to the jealousy and comparison that still exists in the world and causes disconnection and disharmony. Thank you James.

246. How absurd in truth it is to compete with each other as men and in the extremes even goto war while in essence we are naturally so tender and when we are truly connected to this we would never act in competition. We accepted this way of behaviour between men as being normal and set aside the sensitive and tender man we innately are. I can feel that I have heavily suffered from having accepted this way of behaviour between men and that through this I was not able to trust any men. Now in dropping my guards and allowing the sensitive and tender men to emerge in me, I can meet men without competition. I am now at ease with men, do trust them and I would definitely not go to war with them.

247. I think you are all onto something here. Because as a child, we knew we were sensitive and the world did too but because we don’t appreciate or celebrate our sensitivity as adults, we slowly knock it out of kids and don’t provide them any role models on how to be a sensitive adult in the world. And James I love your description of sensitivity in these comments – being sensitive simply allows us to get a good sense of what is around us and what is going on – all super heroes have that in spades. I am going to be my own super hero today – Super Sensing Sarah 🙂

248. Other people’s strengths are such an inspiration to me as they are simply reflecting my potential. When we don’t compare or go into jealousy we are being shown constantly that we are so much more.

     1. Vicky the same has become true for me now, it used to be that I wanted to be like that person to “own” that strength as i felt less without having it yet I am finding more and more the inspiration from other peoples true strengths. Take Michael Benhayon and Glorious Music – I’m not a musician but the joy I feel in the music, watching him play the instruments etc.. makes me feel like anything is possible. That the potential is infinite each in our own way – same quality just different applications.

249. Thank you kevmchardy, I totally agree with you. What Serge Benhayon has been able to show us as men is quite extraordinary yet so clear and obvious when we open our eyes to see it. Competition amongst men is rife, yet it is so common and so normal we have generally accepted it as a part of life and of being a man and so we do not challenge it or see it as a problem. Yet when we start to drop this facade and truly drop the competition we see and feel quite how much we have been missing out on. We crave connection yet we have, I know I have, spent most of my life effectively stopping people getting too close just in case they reject me and so I then feel hurt. It is a crazy game I have been playing!

250. When it was first presented to me that men were sensitive I thought I knew what it meant, which in my mind was someone who gets emotional, cries a lot and needs babysitting through life, but I now know this is not true as I have met many sensitive men and they are nothing like my previous judgements.
     It just goes to show you are never too old to question the things we think we know.

     1. Julie this is great as I too as a man was living a role play as opposed to any vulnerability which is the truth for us all. Emotions and crying are dismissed as being ‘wussy’ for men, I understand these are symptoms and may continue if the cause is not addressed. How great is it to have men connected to their ‘gentle – menly’ selves instead of tough robots and bulldogs?

     2. I love it Julie, ‘It just goes to show you are never too old to question the things we think we know’. So very true! We think we know so much and are so arrogant and stubborn at times yet the more I open up and allow myself to feel what is really going on the more I see how little I did know and constrained my view of life has been. It is effectively as if I have had the blinkers on for most of my life but thinking that was it, that I was seeing everything. Know the more and more I widen my view of life, the more and more I see there is to learn about life. Extremely fascinating how we can fool ourselves into thinking something which is not true.

251. After re-reading your tender blog James and some of the comments I recognised that the inner tension I once felt has gone. This came from protection, guardedness, trying to keep it all together and fearing being caught out. With the support of Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Medicine practitioners, my own inner healing has taken place. I feel naturally me, less inclined to hide, able to recognise my strengths and those of others.

252. Thank you James for expressing how sensitivity is in fact a strength and not a weakness. It’s always wonderful to hear a man talk so lovingly about himself. There certainly isn’t enough of that going around.

253. When I am not protected or in competition with another man and he is equally open and we have a hug, I can feel that there is no gender. Just tenderness.

254. I agree Marcia and Katie, sensitivity allows us to be fully aware of everything that is going on around us. It means there is nothing to fear or worry about because we can feel it and get a good sense of it and so understand it. The more we honour, confirm and appreciate our sensitivity the more awareness it brings to what is going on and so the stronger our super ‘sensing’ power reignites to.

255. James, thank you for sharing your journey to ‘manhood’. I feel that if every man read your blog the tension that they live in would ease and give them permission to be ‘real’ instead of playing ‘look at me I am better than you: stronger, wiser, smarter, wealthier, better with woman etc.

256. Just the title of this article reminds me how important it is that we are ‘Celebrating our Strengths’ as we can spend far too much time indulging in our weaknesses that we forget how amazing we all really are.

     1. Yes Victoria, I agree, Michelle makes a great point – viewing time spent on our weaknesses as an indulgence – for how can we truly develop and grow when we are focusing on what we are not, what we are doing wrong or what we need to change. If we come from a place of first recognising and accepting how amazing we are, we can see our weaknesses with a greater clarity and perspective – as small things that we can address one at a time but that in no way define us or detract from the truth of who we are.

257. James, this feels like one huge blog of appreciation, not only of yourself but for all men and I loved your words “where we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow.” A beautiful brotherhood. Come on you gorgeous men, I so adore your sensitivity. It makes me feel even more beautiful as a woman.

258. Thanks James for “living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on”. Funny thing is that, at least from a woman’s perspective, what we are always seeing beneath the put-on act and wishing men would express is exactly that sensitive “natural loving, caring and tender” man within. What a gift!
     And one of our greatest strengths is seeing, accepting, appreciating and celebrating the beauty and greatness of others and ourselves equally.

259. Its wonderful that when we ditch the comparison, and celebrate the strengths of others as well as our own, jealousy flies out the window.

     1. Yes Catherine, it really is that wonderful – and that simple! 😉

260. It is crazy Oliver, yet even after knowing all this I still do it!! The more I express my sensitivity and tenderness the less protection I walk around with. It feels that because I am so used to the protection, as many of us men are, that to let go of completely would be too scary as effectively we would be naked for all to see. The more we then honour and appreciate each other as men in our tenderness and sensitivity the more we get to say yes I am not going to get shot down and the more ‘normal’ it becomes.

261. Well said Jade, ‘How could I sit in judgement of another when I know we all equally come from the same love’. It makes absolutely no sense and it is extremely controlling and judgmental to view another as any different, with understanding we can see that we are each where we are at to learn what we need to learn and in the end we will all get it!

262. Thank you Hannah, it makes no sense to compete with others at every single turn, all we do is set ourselves up to fail, rather than embracing the reflection and learning that is on offer. When we celebrate anothers strength they also get the confirmation as well so it is a win-win scenario.

     1. Beautifully put James – so essentially it’s all down to the scenario we choose – either the lose-lose of competition and comparison or the win-win of celebrating our own strengths and the strengths we see in others. It’s really is a no-brainer!

263. Thank YOU Marcia!! It is lovely to share my sensitivity more and more!

264. James what a beautiful article – celebrating our strength confirms us and builds self worth – it’s a lovely thing to do with our children as they grow. I can just imagine a day in daycare playing games where each child shines as they have the floor to express all the wonderful strengths they bring and why they think they have that particular strength – how they would use their strengths to support their communities… Now that is true team building or rather SOUL building…

265. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog James, it is so lovely to feel a man expressing his true, tender self so naturally. These qualities that all men had when they were little boys, is still alive and well inside, it’s only society and others ideals and beliefs that stops it in its tracks, and sees men becoming hard and closed off from their tenderness. The world needs men like you James to lead the way back.

266. Amelia I like what you write, as it reminds me how tiring it is to try and be someone I am not. It is much easier to just be ourselves and for me that means not needing to be hard or pretend to be a type of man that I am not. James’ article exposes the way we are as men that it really quite ridiculous when you consider that we are all innately tender and sensitive as men and not at all meant to be top dogs or strutting peacocks.

267. “A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are.” This quality is one aspects that makes Serge Benhayon such a glorious role model. The celebrating others without a hint of competition is so empowering for others. Having experienced and witnessed this personally it has inspired me to practice it. At times the the old habit of competition creeps but when I have managed to fully celebrate another without any expectation or competition it has been so joyful for both. A win, win situation for all concerned. How different life would be if this is how children are brought up rather than in competition.

     1. It’s true Jonathan, celebrating others ‘…for what they bring and who they are’ is a beautiful quality and one that should definitely be shared with everyone – especially our children.

     2. I agree Jonathan something so simple can change the world.

268. Your blog has me thinking James how young children are often more able to appreciate the strengths of others without shooting them down or going into comparison, which just confirms that the competitive way that we are so familiar with is not our natural, innate way.

269. Powerful words James: “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.”
     Returning to who we naturally are, and the keys to doing so, is the key teaching I receive from Serge Benhayon. He endlessly offers elucidation, tangible tools and awarenesses in regards to ‘how’ we may engage in such a process within ourselves. And you have encapsulated all this in one blog James, with the simplicity of stating that we just need to allow ourselves to be consciously aware of all we have so ‘donned’ that isn’t actually ‘us’ at all, and commit to letting it go. Beautifully expressed – clearly from something you are committed to living.

     1. Beautifully expressed James, for the patience and understanding Serge shows all who he meets is just amazing…. it feels to me it is these very qualities that Serge lives and reflects has greatly supported us all in applying these qualities to ourselves so we could allow easily to let go ( instead of resisting – an old habit of mine) all of what we have taken on that is not ‘us’.

     2. Beautifully and whole-heartedly delivered Victoria!

270. James, an awesome blog on ‘Strength’ – thank you.
     It is such a fascinating topic when you start to open up to being aware of it.

     I can relate to so much of what you have shared as an issue for men. As a woman, I had for most of my life appreciated my ‘strengths’ of sensitivity & preciousness to a certain degree which became enhanced when I began to receive healing and attend courses with Universal Medicine.

     After re-building and appreciating my strengths, I then had to look at my weaknesses which is more of the maleness, motion and action of life. I have been steadily working on this to bring a balance within of the male and female aspects and to honour my strengths whilst building my weak areas. It is so rewarding and I feel it directly in my body like I am filling up inside and fleshing out.

271. “I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others” I love what you have shared here, that it is so wonderful to acknowledge and celebrate what others bring, what they are capable of. It is equally great to know what your own limitations are and accept support from others if they do have strengths you don’t have.

     1. This is beautiful too Raegan. Knowing where our limitations are and being open to receiving support from someone who’s strength it is, is healthy and humble and also a sign of developed self worth. And it works both ways, we will have strengths where others don’t. If we could all learn to harmoniously work together in this way it would go a long way towards eliminating comparison, envy and competition.

272. Celebrating the strengths of ourselves and others is not only simple and supportive but if we returned to this natural way of being with each other the world would be a very different place.

     1. I agree totally, Penny.

273. Deep inside there always is this deep knowing that something is not as it should be, but our fear of being exposed for living a lie is obviously so much bigger than asking what is truly going on. Honesty without a limit, taking responsibility and moving on with love will be the keys to unlock the jail we have put ourselves into.

     1. Yes the limits we put on ourselves are a bit like self imposed prisons. People like James are living examples that there is another way to be, which is just about being yourself. Sometimes its by seeing others living life a different way, that we realize we are in a self imposed prisons and that we can set ourselves free. Thanks Michael and James.

        1. I agree wholeheartedly Debra. Without the role models of those around us who have truly embraced life, I know I would most definitely be lost.

     2. Great comment Victoria
        For me I have always felt deep within everything about this life is a lie. As a child I was a very shy quiet observer but I thought a lot and clearly I know now read every situation and person around me and had a deep knowing that nothing in my life was true. I adjusted accordingly to keep myself safe to survive. I have felt a deep emptiness most of my life and searched for truth for many years. I don’t feel like a part of me has died, I feel like I was dead most of my life and Universal Medicine has given me the breath of life.

     3. Yes absolutely Lyndy – to the joy that can be awaiting when we actually let go of what’s not true. We can so stubbornly hold onto the lie, when all that actually awaits, IS our own love and innate joy. It IS truly there within, yet how untrusting we have been to not embrace it so.
        Working with practitioners of Universal Medicine therapies, and attending Universal Medicine presentations has offered the most profound and enormous opportunity to be deeply supported in this process of letting go of so many rails I once rigidly held onto. An ongoing process, yet today, the Joy far outweighs the lack of trust I once held… How Amazing this in itself is – hats off Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Wow.

     4. Margaret, that is the most beautiful comment. It is another way to see it, that letting go the lie that you lived, but you always knew not to be true, wasn’t a death at all in any ‘difficult’ sense, but rather, you have truly come to ‘life’.
        I couldn’t agree more. I remember drawing a picture when I was 24, that basically represented commitment to truly living life (at the time, I didn’t realise how powerfully I nailed the symbology of what I drew, yet I knew the truth of what it was). Under the picture I wrote two bolded words “TO LIVE”. This was all I wanted to do, and I was acutely aware that I was not living life in the fullness then, of what I knew deep within it could be.
        Thanks to Universal Medicine, I now am. My life is amazing, full of off the scale richness, dedication, hard work(!), amazing relationships, love, the deepest growth within… Life has been breathed back into this woman and her body, and I will never step back from it again.

        1. Thank you for sharing Victoria, it reminds me of when I was about 16 seeing everyone going about their lives effectively in blissful ignorance of what was truly going on. I could see it was all about security, paying the bills, looking after the family but what was the point to it all? At this stage I went into reaction and rebelled from the norm as so many people do. Since meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have embraced life far more then ever before and quite literally my whole outlook and perception of life has changed. Whilst people may still be going on about their lives as they used to, I do not need to be a part of the ‘rat race’ society we live in. Effectively now I am in it but not defined by it. It is an extremely freeing way to live.

     5. Great you shared this James. I rebelled to a degree in response to acutely sensing those around me ‘going through the motions’ of life, yet without what felt like a true and deep connection to it. Yet mostly what I let happen within me was a shutting down, and a participation in many aspects of life that didn’t ‘ring true’, that felt compromised.
        There was actually deep grief that things were ‘this way’, but back then, I didn’t know how to live all that I knew – it was all too overwhelming.
        And so, yet again, in this light, thank God for Universal Medicine, and the rekindling of the inner fires that has so amazingly occurred in how so many of us now live – a long way from such giving up, and continuing to take great steps to the full embracing of all that our lives can truly be.

274. “Top dog” and “majestic peacock”, love the analogies James. Animals aside, you have exposed how men construct their life to seemingly get through it and avoid any situation that may bring what they perceive as rejection. As you say, this entails incessantly living a lie and hiding any flaws or weaknesses. Thank you for showing another way, that men “can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves”. If all men lived this way it would not only bring them a freedom as you say, but it would be life changing and not just for men but for all humanity!

     1. Anne, I so agree with your words, and that many the time I have felt that the men I have met over the years, when in the workforce in my twenties, or as associates that I mingled with in Service Clubs, early marrieds etc. etc. mostly seemed to have this persona of needing to display their prowess, either real or imagined among their peers, to impress the wives of their peers, to overwhelm in some way their workmates or whatever, and your words to James in reference to his blog “,,,you have exposed how men construct their life to seemingly get through it and avoid any situation that may bring what they perceive as rejection.”, and your words bring me to wonder how many hundreds or thousands of lives have our men had to wear this horrible mask, this indominitable armour persona – indeed where did it all commence. I thank God that at last, possibly as a result of the Ageless Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon we/they (the men) have claimed permission to ‘be’ themselves – how glorious and power-full is that I feel.

275. Thank-you James for openly sharing your sensitivity with the world. I have had the blessing of growing up with a brother and having a great relationship with him I have come to understand that men are as equally sensitive as women. He has taught me a lot about caring for myself and when I introduced him to Serge Benhayon not long after I had met Serge, he began to melt me with the re-discovery of his tenderness. Serge is inspirational in how he holds each of us equal, without an ounce of critique, competition or comparison and as you says, gets behind each one of us with his full support to seeing us be all that we are – he is a truly and deeply loving man, as are you James.

     1. The more we are our super sensitive tender selves and bring this to the world the more we inspire others to be the same.

     2. Wow! It’s no coincidence I stumbled across these comments about me and my tenderness. Just to set the scene I am a big guy with the potential to be a “massive unit” and I was after doing gym most of my life. I grew up in a rough football aggressive high school, then into the club scene hanging with rough-nuts. I was angry in fights. I was angry cause my dad was, my school friends were, and the large crew I hung around after school was too. I am not blaming them cause I chose this.
        This was not me cause I am super-sensitive and I was just fitting in. I now honour my physical body — my actions are purposefully gentle. I am a truly tender man and live my life with joy not anger.

276. I must admit it has taken me some time to connect with myself enough to appreciate men that are willing to connect with their tender, caring sensitive authentic selves. The more I able to appreciate these qualities in myself the more natural it becomes to appreciate them in others.

277. I have noticed that this persona of being tough, and hiding their innate tenderness can start as young as age 4 for boys.
     When my son and a friends son started kindergarten at this age (several yrs apart) it was like a switch turned on…the openly joyous, tender and expressive child who cried when they were hurt shut themselves down…perhaps in protection. No longer did they cry, there was a weariness and caution with others, and the joy only came out when they felt safe with the people they were with. And this way of being in the world is still with them as teenagers.

278. There are many impositions from society about how a man should be, to take on those impositions we have to harden up, and not show our tenderness. I would not have thought it possible to live as a natural man, strong and sensitive at the same time if it were not for Serge Benhayon showing it is indeed possible.

279. This is a great article James. The men that fit the macho alpha male stereotype are often not good friends. I really admire someone I feel safe to open up and share my feelings. It is the trusted men I look to as role models. I would also say that men do not receive compliments well, I know I did not. I used to always play compliments down, or counter them with something derogatory about myself. It is so liberating to genuinely admire the qualities in another without comparison, and to say so out loud. And to receive a compliment from someone without them wanting anything in return.

280. Celebrating our strengths and the strengths of others is a great antidote to jealousy and comparison. And I most definitely agree James, a man’s strength is in his sensitivity!

281. Yes it is a ‘beautiful thing’…”…about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are.” Appreciating ourselves and others is pure joy, bringing each other up, instead of pulling each other down, just in an attempt to be given recognition or get to the ‘top’. There is no reason in the world why we can not all choose to support and ‘celebrate’ ourselves and each other. Serge is an inspiration and I feel he reflects pure joy when he celebrates others, it is wonderful to observe and I feel so much more joy in my life from celebrating rather than criticising myself or other people.

282. “We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing” this brought tears to my eyes as I could feel how true this is, it is a beautiful confirmation that can be felt in our body. What this is really bringing up for me is the huge level we attack one another and ourselves, through comparison and jealousy. And I am and have been part of that, so there is no blame. It is not natural or normal or part of who we are. It creates separatism and supremacy – the route of all evil.

283. “A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are. If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do” I would say this applies to all of us not just men. I had the realisation today, though have known for a long time that I do compete with others or measures myself against them, there is no love in this nor brotherhood. Why I am not sure of as yet, my feeling is it a good way to reduce yourself and stay small, and also to not let people in. I am sure it also stems from a lack of self worth and self- love. A very deeply harming and manipulative game to play.

284. Beautiful to read this James. We’ve been fed such a lie on what being a man is and it’s such a shame to see such tender and gorgeous men hardened by life, putting on a front to protect themselves, hiding the real them. I too used to think that being sensitive was a great weakness but I now know it as one of my greatest strengths and happily wear it.

285. It’s so true that we hold strong to how we think we need to be around people, and then along comes Serge Benhayon and blows all of that out of the water with his forever love and open book approach to everyone he meets. Walking his talk and showing us the way in relationships through living true to his innermost self and sharing that with others.

286. Celebrating our strengths is so important because this is how we can build our lives to be amazing all round. Thanks for this much needed article James.

287. As your wife I can one billion percent vouch for your tenderness, truth and gorgeousness as a man! I feel, both for men and women, we all try to be something else… tougher, powerful, nicer, and we hide our weaknesses and build this whole false image, how often do we show the world who we truly are? This is something huge I have observed and learnt from Serge Benhayon too, as you say he just presents himself, with no show and no need for perfection, he simply presents who he is.

     1. Watching Serge Benhayon has definitely changed my life, it has really made me realise how much I try, and how much falsity we show the world, rather than just saying – this is me warts and all. Not that I have warts 🙂 Jokes aside, there is so much freedom in not trying to be perfect or be anything other than who you are.

288. Thank you, it is sad to hear Alaxandremed but something many of us men will have heard as boys growing up. It is crazy that somehow we are treated differently as little boys to when we are ‘men’, even though we are the same and equally as sensitive.

289. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” this is what true brotherhood is all about, thank you James.

290. Beautiful James. We have capped men too much by trying to make them live up to ‘being a man’. It’s refreshing to see a man being his tender self, expressing (warts and all). as a women, it has reminded me to be my gorgeous self more and enabled me to see how I try to fit in too. It’s a wonderful thing celebrating others- it’s a confirmation saying that what your doing is more then okay. Too many things in life today say that we arent okay and so to bring about a change is fantastic. I know for me, it has done wonders. And I’m often left thinking “Hey I’m not that bad!” Celebrating others eventually leads to them celebrating themselves too! (Or at least that’s what I have found) Double win!

291. I agree Doug and I feel this highlights that as a society we have been duped into a meaning of the word ‘sensitive’ that is not fully true. It had such a negative connotation when I was growing up and was something to be avoided even feared. But what if as James said so well it is simply ‘being aware of what we are feeling’? Well that puts a whole different angle on it and suddenly it is not a bad word or bad thing but a very natural and normal human trait that both men and women have.

292. It is indeed beautiful how Serge Benhayon celebrates people for who they are and what they bring. I have heard Serge do this many a time and it is gorgeous and I have found it very inspiring that I too now love to offer this to others as I find it deeply healing.

293. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” This is a very powerful line James and much needed in a world where competition is still very much apparent. I love celebrating the strengths of others and letting them know how much I appreciate what they bring but sometimes I don’t share the same appreciation for myself. Thank you for bringing it to my awareness and showing me there are two sides to celebrate and cherish with your powerful blog.

294. What you have shared James about Serge Benhayon is totally spot on. The way he supports, gets behind and speaks about any person’s strengths is not only inspiring for that person to feel more of their true potential, but as equally supportive is it, for others to see this strength in others and to not go into comparison, competition of any sort of judgment. Having experienced this what you shared too, it has made it possible for me to see and identify strengths in people in my own life, to celebrate them and learn from their strengths. What you have shared is very much a truth about Serge Benhayon, showing his commitment and dedication to love and to people.

295. Thank you James – a very inspiring blog – a gift which I will share with my sons and hold strongly in mind in all relationships as it certainly applies to women as well.

296. It’s humorous we think the suit of armour we wear covers up what we consider our frailties, in actual fact once you feel the person beneath the suit of armour it’s clear why they are choosing to suit up. Really we delude ourselves if we think we are not seen and felt. Loosing the armour shows great strength and tender commitment to true self.

297. Yes Gabriele, we are all sensitive but many of us are disconnected from it, push it away, belittle it, are even afraid of it… it is often perceived as a weakness, it frightens us because if we truly connect to our sensitivity then we feel whats is really going on and more than that we realise we are so much more…it is most certainly a strength.

298. We live in a very competitive society and to have someone say, you know what, you don’t need to compete, we all have strengths that we bring and each of us in our strength supports those areas that are our weaknesses and together it all works out…It must put a lot of pressure on men to put on the act, and not be themselves, to really allow themselves to feel that sensitivity within them. Sensitivity is in fact a strength, the strength to be you, to know what you feel and not be afraid of it.

299. As a woman I too recognise the competition, the jostling for position that so often happens between people. I have particularly noticed this within the workplace when trying to maintain a level of authority or to justify to my bosses that I am worthy of the position I hold. However in more recent years I have been celebrating the strengths of my team and other colleagues as opposed to seeing them as a threat to my position. The quality of our relationships has changed dramatically and as a group we are all learning from each other and evolving, instead of the sadly all too common scenario of trying to climb over others to get to the top of the heap. What you say James, when we celebrate others is so true, ‘By doing so, our strengths will build and develop and will help us in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.’

300. My lack of trust in my fellow men was such that I would always go to women for support, for a hug, for tenderness. Now there are times when it is the hug of a man that I need the most, that supports me the most and that brings me back fastest to myself. That is because I have begun to let men in fully and because I have met men who let me in fully. No competition. No judgement. Equality and brotherhood. All of this inspired by the truest of men – Serge Benhayon.

     1. I agree Otto, I too have felt how powerful it is when I let other men in and the level of intimacy and brotherhood that can be experienced. Thank you for expressing this so beautifully.

        1. And what I have also felt is how different the two hugs can be…two different flavours of intimacy…it’s like having a menu and deciding which one will best serve you…but sometimes it’s an impossible choice – true intimacy is such gold – no matter who it comes from!

     2. I too have been one of these men that trusted women more than men, but I can see now how supportive it can be to go to another man for support and how that allows the opportunity for both of us to let down a bit more of that guard that all men put up. Letting the guard down can be quite magical, if I am willing to be more open then it gives permission for other men to do likewise.

     3. I’m soaking up the lovely reality that men can share so openly with each other. That men can truly live a tenderness within and share this is wonderful. This must bring a whole new level of joy and ease in the body every day. So much benefit to well-being, brotherhood and humanity. Breaking the mold of the stereotype male is worth celebrating.

     4. That’s it. You have nailed it. The hug of a man can be the most powerful confirmation of the man that I am. Which shows how much the competition and protection that I have built around myself, stops me from being the truthful version of who I am. Letting a man in is huge, because to do it truthfully, I am dropping that protection and I am dissolving the competition. I am saying yes to equality and no to judgment. I am letting everything go, I am naked and I am stepping forward in to the full glory of the man that I am.

     5. How deeply inspirational for all men and for us all given the norm has been to protect, harden and protect at all costs the vulnerability and true essence that we dare not let out or show to the world. What a loving world we will have as we celebrate each other, allow others to be and let life in.

     6. That’s beautiful to read Ottobathurst, I would always have my closest of friends as girls growing up. I had ‘guy’ friends but never felt I could be as open, and tender with them. One of the reasons was because I would think they may think I was being gay or coming onto them! So I effectively modified my behaviour to ‘fit in’. Then with the girls I largely did not want a relationship with them as did not want it to become sexual so some of them thought I was ‘gay’ becaus I was being more open and tender with them then they were used to. Crazy really especially given how gorgeously tender and sensitive we all are, and how much we all crave love.

        1. This is all so true. It’s one of the fun things about being married and having three kids – I can be super tender with Men, hugging them, touching them, telling them how well or handsome that they look – and they can’t dismiss it by thinking I’m gay – they just have to drink in the compliments!

        2. And I notice it with emails too. If I am really expressive and open in my emails to men; colleagues, friends, builders, whoever…some love it, drink it in and reply in an equally open manner. Others still push back the formal, standard response. But my feeling is that even if that happens, the person who received it, still got it, they still felt it and slowly this stuff chips away at the hardened, protected, shell. Which is ace. Because behind that shell, us men are all mushy, gooey, bundles of squidgy tenderness and fragility.

        3. You make me smile ottobatuhrst, with your gorgeous writing!

301. I like the bit you say about Serge always getting behind people who are doing well. This has been huge for me to observe. But what is more intriguing to me is how it has felt when he has done it to me. Serge has been a huge supporter of me and has been immensely helpful and encouraging. To start with I didn’t quite trust it, or couldn’t quite take the compliments or praise. And this to me is so revealing of the games that us men play and to which you refer in your blog. So often a comment is barbed with jealousy or competition. I have felt this all my life (and I know I have done the same to my fellow men). Men may pat you on the back, sing your praises and say well done. But, more often than not, they are sticking daggers in to you and hoping that you’ll slip up, so that they can feel better about where there are at, or get ahead of you. It is horrible, it is everywhere and it is hidden behind the nicest of smiles. Thus when Serge was praising and honouring and encouraging me, it was hard for me to drink it in. Once bitten, twice shy. But now, now that I let it in…oh my goodness…it is the most gorgeous nectar in the world. To be truly appreciated and honoured by a fellow brother is so divine. It melts me and it melts all those past experiences. It is true brotherhood, true equality and it feels amazing.

     1. Such a beautiful honest sharing Ottobathrust – thank you so much. It melts me to read it.

        1. That’s the power of it! How it spreads through others. Mass Meltdown!!

     2. So very beautiful to read Ottobathurst how you now allow yourself to be fully appreciated by others. I know what you mean when you can hear someone giving you a compliment but equally at the same time can hear all the other stuff it comes with, quite often I have felt jealousy, envy, self-fury that they have not made the same choices and the list goes on. But to be truly honoured is quite different and like you have eluded to it helps re-build my trust in other men and in humanity.

     3. This is awesome to read Otto, thank you.

     4. Wow – love what you have shared here Otto – it brings so much to light about the relationships between men and how much the competition can destroy any aspect of trust and true celebration of each other. Your ‘surrender’ to a true compliment delivered with love, is exquisite when you say ‘it is the most gorgeous nectar in the world’. Thank you.

     5. You totally melted me Otto. What a gorgeous sharing and expansion to James’ blog. From my experience Men are more sensitive than Women and have just worked very hard to hide the fact based on all the ideals of how men should be. What has been amazing to observe is how this is changing and as you say start to ‘drink in’ the loving and genuine words of appreciation. Seeing men in their natural tenderness is one of life’s greatest treasures.

     6. Please write a whole blog on this alone Otto. The barbs of competition and jealousy between men feel to have a particularly brutal edge… and yet I can relate to the same coming from women, albeit ‘appearing’ nicer, smoother even, yet the tainted edge in such expression is designed to cut you down – don’t you dare shine, don’t express in full, don’t look, feel and (God forbid) sound amazingly beautiful from within – out, and the rest…
        And then, OMG (literally..) we have Serge Benhayon, who yes, when you feel him with you, there isn’t the slightest, teeniest whiff of ANY of this.
        Through such a relationship with Serge, I also have felt how it can be to live so deeply connected and completely ‘full’, without a skerrick of holding back. It’s quite an amazing process to undertake really, to have such a marker, and observe with acuity where anyone or anything may affect feeling so very naturally grand. An awesome learning indeed…

302. James, I absolutely love your sharing. To accept, appreciate, celebrate and let out my sensitivity is an ongoing learning for me as well.

303. Through attending workshops with Serge Benhayon and observing him over many years I have seen how he does celebrate others strengths with no lessening of himself whatsoever. It has been a great model for me to let go of any of my own comparing with others, and to really learn to appreciate my own value and worth.

304. It sure is Gabriele, I know for myself the strength I have built by honouring my sensitivity, what I am feeling, more and more. It is great to see children being brought up with parents honouring their sensitivity and the strength, power and authority the children live with now.

305. It is indeed Marion, what has been extremely helpful and inspiring for me is how the community of men have over the past few years really started to open up and not compete with each other as much. Whilst we are all at own varying stages of unfolding together we are all supporting each other to say its great to simply be your natural tender sensitive self. The same goes for the women int he community not expecting or wanting us to be so tough and macho and actually celebrating us when we are exquisitely divine and tender!

306. I agree andrewmooney26, it is often easier to focus on our weaknesses and attribute our self-worth to them rather than actually stopping to confirm and celebrate our strengths. Thus when someone celebrates me my automatic thought has always been but what about this I’m not perfect, you just aren’t seeing the whole picture clearly. The more I accept and confirm myself the more I allow myself to fully accept compliments from other people.

     1. I can relate to what you are saying here James about not being able to accept compliments from others very easily. For me it comes partly from not being able to accept myself and my strengths and weaknesses and partly from a mistrust of others born out of competition where people can often say a compliment but not really mean it in full. Either way building self-acceptance and self-worth as you say is the key.

307. Thanks for sharing this, James. We don’t have all the same strength in everything. We can learn from each other and celebrate ourselves just as we are.

308. We all bring different reflections of our strengths to each other. Men can be very macho feeling the need to show physical strength to women. Showing vunerability and being honest is a great strength for men, to show, less is so often more.

309. What you are talking about James is a subtle shift in awareness that has big world changing results. Thanks for living it and for sharing it.

310. Yes I can relate to the way we grow up in a tension, and leave the playfulness and joy and openess behind.

311. Love your honesty James. I am not a man obviously, yet for some reason growing up felt I wanted to be considered ‘equal’ to men and to do this I went into competitive behaviour in order to prove myself to the other boys/men in my life. When I was young I would show of and beat boys that were twice my age at arm wrestles.I would push myself physically in order to be accepted into the’ boys club’. The more I de-balled other boys around me the more I seemed to earn my place. As I got older I use to out drink the boys in order to win there approval and out swear them and kick a footy better than them, anything to prove I was ‘equal’. They were always so impressed that a girl could do those things. It is as you stated in this blog very common way for men to interact and in some cases woman such as myself.
     Your blog exposes the ugliness of this behaviour that is not truly how any of us are at our core but also brings light to what being a true sensitive man is about.
     Through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have discovered being a woman does not only feel amazing but that trying to be anything else other than the beautiful delicate woman I am only harms myself and others.

     1. After years of doing it myself, because i saw asking for help as a weakness, its such a relief to let that tough exterior melt and let my delicate feminine light shine out.

     2. Thanks Fiona for expanding this conversation, it’s a great point you raise that in trying to ‘measure up’ to men we actually lose sight of how amazing they are and what they do/bring so effortlessly and naturally.

312. I can relate to what you say, James, as the men I know who have real strength because they are aware of what they are feeling show me a tenderness and caring attitude with all people they meet. This is beautiful to observe in men.

313. Awesome James. Sensitivity and tenderness, the new era of masculinity and machoism.

314. Thank you James for this insight. I believe that living what you are not is much more strenuous than to live who you naturally are.

315. So agree James and Michelle, I feel it’s vital we appreciate and honour men as they live and express their tenderness, it’s saying this is who you truly are, and more please. So each time we see that let’s not be shy about celebrating it – it honours and holds us all.

316. I’m still really appreciating the simplicity and honesty of this blog James. For what purpose does competition serve? Imagine a world where the done thing is to show how equal you are and not how superior? There would be a lot more friend making going on.

     1. Beautifully said, let’s go for freind making instead of competing. My seven year old son said ‘what if we were all kind to eachother?’ Competition starts at such an early age, it would be great if we can show little boys another way.

        1. Yes katinkadelannoy, we seem to train our young boys and girls competition from the word go. What if we could show them another way.. a way that they could be themselves without worrying if they were good enough, or having to compete with the next child for attention and recognition, a way that encouraged that kind expression we all naturally have?

     2. Ha ha Lianne that is brilliant “a world that is not too good to be true but a world too true to be good….” we have lost so much in wanting to be good and perfect, I am finding the more I can accept myself for where I am at the more others around me feel that and drop the games and pretence/roles etc that you talk of. The truth of who we are can then shine through.

     3. That is definitely something worth working towards Simon.

317. I love it when I am in the company of men and they let me see their tender strength, it always brings such smile to my face.

318. Wow what a brilliant analogy, comparing being brought up in a dog pit and showing no weakness in case it’s used against one. Highlightes like this it seems a crazily limited way of existing though I can certainly relate to the showing no weakness and I’m a woman.

     But I feel many women have taken this on too especially in the workplace- not wanting to be looked down upon for showing ‘weaknesses’.

     So brilliant you live another way. Very inspired to continue to acknowledge all that I do feel and not cover feelings up for fear of feeling vulnerable to rejection.

319. This is a great point that you bring up James, Sensitivity is all too often misunderstood as weakness when really true sensitivity is true power.

320. Being sensitive is such a gift. If you allow yourself being sensitive and ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ can give you a great and true understanding of what is really going on. Whereas when you rely only on what you see and/or hear you may miss Truth

321. A great article James – I especially love the last line about being naturally ourselves and not who we think we need to be. It is beautiful how you have described it in relation to being a man – but I can see how “being naturally ourselves” is important in any part of life that we may identify ourselves with.

322. I read this article earlier in the week and its message has stayed with me. I have been noticing that when I am aware of others strengths and am celebrating this, even just to myself, I can feel how they feel seen. And we all know how beautiful it is to be seen for who we truly are.

323. Absolutely kevmchardy. When you put it like that it makes no sense. It reminds me of a cartoon I saw yesterday where an elephant, bird, dog, fish etc were sitting in front of an examiner. The caption was, ” to pass this exam all you have to do is to climb that tree”!

324. A dog pit is a great way to describe our situation as men. Even when we say we aren’t competing we almost certainly are. It is in fact incredible how we turn into a competition everything and compare how we measure up with other men. It is quite a relief and release to see it doesn’t have to be this way.

325. Thank you for reminding us of a timeless truth Alex, that what we’ve got inside us naturally is all we ever need to be ourselves.

326. So true Suzanne, my children are so little and we are out and about with many children and their families often and I have observed many fathers out there who are not supporting their children to be themselves.

327. That’s amazing Alex. Letting go of our ideals, beliefs and protections can make incredible changes to our lives and relationships, because when you stop worrying about how you THINK you should act and be, you start being the real you and I think a lot of people would be surprised at how much more others love spending time with YOU than the false you.

328. So true! It is such a non-sense waste of time, energy and life.

329. Wonderful blog James! Reading your words I realized how much I focus on my weakness rather than appreciate the strength that will support my dedication, when deciding what it is that doesn’t work in my life. Today is a new beginning in relation to re-imprinting old behaviors, so lets appreciate and celebrate our strengths!

330. I so enjoy seeing men interacting together, supporting each other’s strengths and showing their tenderness to each other without the tension and competition that we so often see in our society. Encouraging and supporting our young boys to grow up like this, will be re-evolutionary.

331. Beautiful, James, I so enjoyed hearing about your journey and your realisation that embracing your sensitivity brings you true strength as a man. We need more men like you.

332. I love how we can truly work together as a team. When the team is harmoniously working together you naturally tap into each individuals strengths and there is no jealousy or competition.

333. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ – I love what you share here James, it is truly beautiful when we allow ourselves to be inspired by another’s choices.

334. Hi Michaelgoodhart36, yes I have noticed that with men too, as well as women. I was pondering on this very fact, remembering how difficult I found it to receive compliments before I started to attend Universal Medicine. It was because back then I was not able to see the strengths in myself so could not accept it from another. That is why appreciating and confirming one’s self is very important.

335. Thanks for sharing James, this area is new for me…that is, appreciating and expressing that appreciation for self and others strengths. The way I was raised and the way within my family of origin was very much about fault-finding and cutting each other down. I am enjoying re-programming myself. Sometimes I feel a bit clumsy & sometimes I go into ‘being nice’ energy…but the truth is, there is beauty in all and it can be a fun game to find, focus on and fan that spark within All.

336. You’ve encapsulated it all here Lee. The people who inspire me now are those that live as who they truly are, no exceptions, no rules, no apologies, but with the utmost dedication, tenderness, honesty and love.

337. Competition, comparison and jealousy are such hideous beasts yet are commonly operating in a both overt and covert ways amongst us human beings. Such a shame that we act so horribly towards each other and, and you are pointing out in your blog James, such behaviour is blind to the lovely alternative that each of us can be living in and with.

338. I agree Emmadanchin, great to hear it from a man’s perspective and feel how that plays out for women too. I am seeing that strive for perfectionism in me and appreciate and relate to what you’ve said in ‘trying to be all things to all people’. By doing that we miss out on the magic of Brotherhood and allowing others to bring what is natural for them. We can’t do it all.

339. I also feel like what you have shared James defuses and exposes the incessant need for perfection in life. For me, I am aware of an undercurrent of perfectionism that can dominate how I am with myself and others and daily tasks. This perfectionism is unrealistic and if I was perfect at everything I wouldn’t appreciate the essential pieces that other people bring. My weaknesses are another’s strength and we can learn from and inspire one another.

340. A great blog for women and men alike, to read and feel the potential of relationships without the strain of comparison, jealousy and competition. Thank you James.

     1. Very true Rachael. I have become aware of how we can compare, be jealous and competitive in any relationship regardless of with men or women. But, as James has shared, the “antidote” is so simple: celebrate and appreciate ourselves equally as we celebrate and appreciate the strength of others.

341. I agree Sally, it is sexy! It also goes to show men and women aren’t so different after all – we are both naturally tender and delicate, much like the babies we start out as: it’s what we take on in life that changes that. If we were to more frequently remember and understand ourselves to be the tender bundles of love we once were, we’d all be a lot less hard on ourselves and others.

342. I’ve watched my beautiful, sensitive husband over the 6 years I’ve known him and been inspired by how naturally gentle and kind he is; I haven’t seen much in the way of competition in him either. Other men might react to him because of that, but never does it set up a race to be top dog. This is refreshing in a world where competitive behaviour is championed in so many arenas. He has many male friends and colleagues who deeply respect him as he is, without the need for bells and whistles.

     1. How refreshing to read your post here Victoria! And how much more accessible is true equality if we don’t have to navigate competition to begin with? Respect and appreciation arrive easily when we don’t have anything to prove as your husband is witness to. This is truly to be celebrated as you do!

343. Nice, Dr Rachel Mascord. I see how women have embraced this too – manning up to make it in a man’s world. Is it any wonder we are as women plagued by so many ills? What an unnatural and toxic way to live.

344. James your observation of Serge Benhayon and the way he gets behind people who are doing well is so true. This knocks the idea of competition – and it’s twin sister jealously – out of the water. They’re both not necessary and help no one. We are much better supporting each other where we can.

345. It is so true James that it makes no sense to try to compete with others. We all have different strengths, and it is so worth appreciating each other for these instead of letting jealousy and competition creep in.

346. I agree Emily the world would be an incredibly different place if we raised our children in celebration of their natural sensitivities, strengths and gifts. When we are encouraged to identify and claim ourselves in this way, supporting and cherishing others for the gifts they bring to this world is just so natural and extremely uplifting.

347. I agree Emmadanchin, so beautiful to hear how it is for men and to feel the truth in their expression is beautiful and inspiring.

348. I know Lee, my role models have completely changed, including the people I look up to for inspiration. True success is not measured by your bank balance, or your possessions but rather the depth of love you hold.

349. That is the beauty of the Ageless Wisdom and what Serge Benhayon has been showing us, no longer do we feel we need to try to fit into the world rather we can give ourselves the space to be ourselves and learn who we truly are.

350. I fully agree Sally, it makes such a huge difference when we simply allow ourselves to be and don’t try to put up a front.

351. Wonderful sharing Michael. Amazing, but true that for many of us (including myself) we have had to learn how to accept and claim compliments and of course this becomes much easier when we’re feeling our own worth from inside ourselves.

352. I am just considering the oddness of what you share Nicola.. Its a dichotomy. Its strange that the very thing that is our strength.. our super power, that is tenderness and sensitivity is labeled as weak. The fact that men keep this hidden actually makes them/us weaker through the barrier of toughness. Women are also subject to the same beliefs that we need to toughen up, but just what are we losing when we do this?

353. Hi James, This blog gave me the feeling of true brotherhood, instead of competing against one another there is a strength in truly supporting one another and it feels like this is what humanity has lost along the way.

354. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other”. It is so important that we do not feel less about ourselves because our strengths are different from someone else’s. We are not meant to be good at everything. Enjoying the strengths of another is actually a strength in itself.

355. So simply shared: the abiding and deep strength of sensitivity, instead of the shaky ground of facades and comparison. Thank you, Jinya.

356. And it is pure ‘melty’ to be around a man who in his true strength is letting himself be aware of all that he is feeling. As a woman being around men like this, all my game playing, double guessing and performance finds its rightful place. In the bin! Thank you, James, for being one of many men I know who are supporting my return to God.

     1. yes Matilda and thank you James, when I meet a man like this, I feel trust returning, all the protection and defence dissolving and my heart opens up to the joy. Imagine a true relationship like this growing ever deeper every day.

357. Absolutely, sweetness and sensitivity are two spot-on words to describe this blog. Tis thoroughly inspirational.

358. I love what you have written here about Serge ‘A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are. If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do.’ It is so true.

359. An “..incessant need’ indeed. In moving away from trying to appear OK and competent, to then living more of that natural man, one starts to see how forceful that need for acceptance is. It’s crazy all the things and mannerisms I’ve developed in the name of seeking acceptance, or proving my worth. Blogs like these help us unravel exactly this behaviour; well done James.

360. Jinya, your comment exposes the false strength of being macho and the true strength of being true.

361. Strong words Rachel but true, we build a prison for ourselves and spend our lives reinforcing it. What a huge price to pay for not dealing with our hurts.

362. Exactly Kevin. When looked at this way competition makes now sense at all. True appreciation and celebration of strengths is what works energetically, which is the only truth.

363. Courage is a quality important to men, but plays out differently, for some men it is going in hard on the sporting field, for some it is success in business, for others it’s standing up for some noble cause. If courage is about facing your fears, the biggest fears are not outside, rather they are internal. Exposing my own bad behavior that is based on avoiding rejection takes courage. Standing by what I feel for myself, even when this goes against all those around me. Serge Benhayon has been a great inspiration in this regard.

364. Great analogy Rachael, confirming thyself and another is a beautiful way to start taking some self built bars out and letting a little light shine in.

365. James that was great to read some traits of a true man, gentle, caring, compassionate I could feel all these from you as I read. Seeing another’s strength and helping that grow by confirming is a great gift of love for another, also realising that you don’t have to be great at everything, that’s what’s brotherhood is for, to compliment each other and make the whole.

366. When we are always competing we can not truly claim in full our own strengths that we naturally possess to inspire others with also. Inspiration is a beautiful and natural way to live .. Certainly much more powerful than competition!

     1. Beautifully shared Joshua. Competing is literally working against another – so of course we feel disconnected from whoever we are competing against and then also disconnected from ourselves because we are chasing something external to us – a reward or the win. When we live by and for inspiration, the responsibility comes back to us and actually supports us to be connected to ourselves and each other. So much more powerful than competition!

        1. Yes Simone, competing and competition which seems to be lauded in every aspect of our lives only further entrench the feelings of separativeness and isolation that are actually against our natural state of connection – and when that is lost, everything else that is true gets undermined as we lose ourselves in the drive and outward looking for recognition and confirmation.

        2. So true Annie – and it can be so sneaky that sometimes it might take a while before we are aware that we are stuck in separativeness and isolation! This makes me have so much appreciation for the wisdom of Universal Medicine that has been shared to support me to know how to “check in” and reconnect. A precious gift – free for everyone!

367. Indeed Kevin, we all bring such a diverse range of skills and expressions, that there is the opportunity to benefit and build rather than pull each other down in order to stay above each other

368. Very good point Rachel – asking people to ‘man up’ and toughen up strongly encourages them to build protection and shut out other people and the world.. It can definitely be like living in a prison, and this separation is one of the deadliest dis-eases there is.

369. Thank you James. You bring up that common misconception that being sensitive is a sign of weakness. It’s accepted that women can be more sensitive than men, but the truth is, society still says you’re weak regardless of your gender. I made sure growing up I was desensitised, hardened to the point that everyone thought I was so cool, calm and collected, carefree, didn’t care about what others thought etc. That was all one big facade, that by the age of 24 came crumbling right off like a clay mask. I couldn’t keep it up, the hurts I had experienced through my life were all there, waiting to be dealt with and like anything you put off dealing with, the pile only gets bigger. If only I had accepted that I was sensitive in the first place. I would have been able to deal with everything that I experienced right there and then, rather than let it fester. Whan an enormous sign of strength that is. How very mature! I choose to be sensitive these days, and I’m totally cool with it. And it turns out, that I actually feel cool, calm and collected….but without a mask this time, it’s just me.

     1. Amazing, Elodie, how allowing ourselves to feel what is there to be felt brings more strength than the perceived, yet hollow, strength of hardening ourselves to what we feel.

     2. It’s true Elodie, there are many expectations on women to be tough as well, much of which comes from women themselves. I always had the fear that I wasn’t tough enough to survive in life, but didn’t understand that trashing and hardening my body wasn’t actually doing the trick either. It only had the effect of shutting down from myself and others, which obviously others would sense and then feel the need to harden to protect themselves. So all it achieved was contributing to a more hardened and protected, disconnected world, with a greater sense of threat – and hence more hardening – and so it goes.

370. I could not agree more James; such has been my experience.
     When two men meet and try to compare or compete they never get to know each other because they are presenting a false version of themselves. When one man drops the protection and the fitting in Behavior to just be his natural self, it gives the other men the permission and the opportunity to do the same. Then you find out what amazing people they are and genuinely appreciate their qualities.

371. ‘To live with the ease and joy of a child’, reading this reminds me how much we all wish for true harmony and joy in our lives and now through the teachings of Universal Medicine I have learnt that this is entirely possible no matter what is going on outside of you.

372. Living proof that there is another way to live and be with everyone. Awesome inspiration that Serge and many more are, living a true love on earth right now. Awesome.

373. Elizabeth this is so true. The sensitivity in every man is so very obvious and so delightful, regardless of how hard they try to hide it. I often forget that the best way to encourage someone to not be concerned about showing their true colours is to not play ball with what they are pretending to be and let them know we see and love their real self, and the best way to do that is by simply making sure we are our true self with them.

374. It’s truly gorgeous to be in the presence of men who honour their super tender and loving selves. I am appreciating more and more the beauty in men, even those who have yet to feel it for themselves.

375. “I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others.” Gorgeous insight James from the beautiful man that you are. When we celebrate others, we celebrate ourselves.

376. James, what a gorgeous celebration of who you are.

377. I become quite fed up by the constant games that I as a man have played, that need to be recognised and seen and put on a front. It is great to read of your take on this James, and how this doesn’t have to be the way we live. I know that who I am is not a tough guy and I no longer wish to present any of this front, there is something amazing in being gentle as a man and particularly in offering this reflection to young boys.

378. Yes, women can take competing to a whole other level sometimes! It really packs a punch that is for sure. To the person competing and those around her. I remember playing netball like it was an extreme contact sport. A couple of us even got pulled aside and told it wasn’t a footy match and to settle down. It was like we were men rather than women at this time.

379. Yes, focusing on my strengths and taking time to appreciate these has been a very healing experience for me as I have spent most of my life beating myself up for my apparent imperfections. All the time missing the true beauty that lay within me naturally.

380. I agree Jinya. True strength doesn’t come from being ‘macho’ and tough. It comes from being tender and sensitive.

381. I enjoyed reading this especially your description of the word sensitive – “being aware of what we are feeling”. Absolute gold! Thank you, James.

382. That’s amazing Michael. It is great to admit your weaknesses. I wouldn’t so call them failings or faults, as this feels you are being hard on yourself. A weakness admitted brings less focus to it with more time to cherish and charm those strengths.

383. Yes Jo, when that sensitivity is honoured and actually clocked to feeling true for you, it becomes the normal way to live from then on.

384. Beautiful James, it is immensely freeing to discard all the pictures and ideals about how we should be and instead trust in our own inner compass, knowing it truly guides us. And that through our natural-born sensitivity we can reconnect to what is inside that we know is true.

385. I have found that genuinely celebrating and appreciating my and others strengths felt very foreign at first I was almost shy when doing so. That reaction came from past experiences of being judged. What I have experienced in myself and with other team members is that when the gloves come off and you are genuinely celebrated I have been inspired to try more and tempt things I have really struggled with and avoided.

386. Being sensitive and honouring that all the time is the most rewarding feeling I have experienced as a man. You live in a state of honesty if not Truth – this is strength knowing how you feel. This not giving your power away and you do not become exhausted. No need to the play games of competition as your feelings are the winner. Great blog James.

387. I love your blog James. I keep coming back to it because there is something very heart warming when a man drops the facade and expresses from his heart and I can never get enough of that.

     1. Could this be what everyone is looking for James, but have not had the support to claim for themselves. I love that Serge Benhayon and has encouraged me to be open and honest and comfortably me through his reflection of being the same and meeting me as I am. And that this is the growing norm amongst the Universal medicine student body is just divine.

388. No point at all kevmchardy. I suppose that we are sadly looking outside ourselves for our self-worth in the form of what we look like and what we do is what drives competition. Once we connect to our innately gorgeous and all powerful essence within competition is redundant.

389. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ this is gorgeous, James, and applies to women as well as men because it takes the comparison and jealousy away. To live in constant appreciation and celebration is a joy-ful way to be.

390. A great blog James , letting down our guards as men and just being ourselves is definetly the way to go . I also agree with celebrating our strengths and the others the same way supporting each other to grow is also super important . Walking with ourselves instead of goose stepping or marching through life feels very liberating not having or trying to prove ourselves or compete just being ourselves , in all our imperfect perfection 🙂

391. This is such a great advice Elisabeth and so simple too!

392. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” Beautifully said, James, that sounds and feels like a wonderful way to be living as a man, removing the competition among men, and instead being able to help one another. How much more can be achieved by living that way, win win for everyone. That feels like brotherhood to me.

393. In a dog eats dog mentality we are in protection and think we need to defend our preciousness, we look out for other peoples weaknesses to attack them there before they attack us.
     James you shed light into this situation and offer us a new approach, that when we open up and support each other in our strength, the weaknesses are taken care of and we all win in the process. That is brotherhood – a place where fighting and subsequently war has no place.

     1. Beatiful James, I too have discovered the power of appreciating others and myself. Whenever I give words to my appreciation for someone my heart seems to open up further to them, I love how that feels and what confirming someone’s strenghts does for that person, you can feel them expand or in other words ‘grow ten feet tall’.

394. There are so many faces to strength and you have laid out before us some of the most enduring and powerful these – strengths that men have almost been forced to sacrifice because of the dominating belief that to be macho is to be strong: ‘I used to think that being “sensitive” was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as “being aware of what we are feeling” – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.’ Too right James!

395. This is a truly beautiful bog James. I love how you have completely turned on its head the paradigm of the nature of strength, and shown where true strength really lies: By celebrating the strengths of others, ‘I have found that it brings a great strength to relationships, a strength where we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow.’ This is true power indeed.

     1. Spot on Lyndy, This is true power founded in true strength.

     2. Yeah Lyndy! Also this kind of ‘celebrating other people’s strengths based’ approach would not only support relationships but to help build self-worth and confidence in those who do not feel so worthy or sure of them selves.

396. Yes I enjoyed this honesty of what is really going on. It reminds me that what is on the surface and/or being presented is not often what is truly going on.

397. Surprisingly the sort of strength I look for in a man, and have looked for my whole life is that he knows who he is. I think many women would say the same. Taking it that step further to say he also sees who other people really are (as well as himself) is something I too have witnessed many times in Serge Benhayon.

     1. I agree as well, yet it is not, currently, too common for men to be fully accepting of themselves and their sensitivity. It is something which Serge Benhayon has through living the way he does inspired many men to say yes it is ok to be sensitive and to be more in touch with what we are feeling and ourselves.

398. There is nothing more gorgeous to feel than a man truly being a ‘gentle’ man. When I refer to a gentle man, I am not referring to having the best manners or doing the right thing, but a man who is open and in touch with how they feel, who is connected with themselves and therefore can connect with others. Indeed it is a divine quality to be a gentle man, as it is to be a gentle woman.

399. Your words and experience are so needed in our modern world James. From what you have shared, I have a deeper understanding of the power in appreciating others’ strengths or abilities. All working together without competition – this is evolutionary! Thank you.

     1. Thank you Bernadette, that is great to hear and it is awesome that the blog has deepened your understanding about the power in appreciating others strengths and abilities.

400. I love your peacock analogy. Peacocks have many weaknesses. A strong and nasty insult is to describe a woman as looking and sounding like a peacock.

     1. I agree christophschnelle, especially with sound(s) peacocks make, it is rather loud, quirky but definitely not something anyone would want to be compared to!

401. It is beautiful to see” the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to”, as those that are weaker rather than stronger in us. How simple this is, free of blame, guilt or resentment or any other judgement from our emotional reactions. Thank you James.

402. I agree Vicky, there is a beautiful expansion in a group of people who can openly celebrate each others strengths, as opposed to the reduction that is felt within a group when there is criticism and competition…the two are poles apart.

403. It’s true Suzanne, when boys reach a certain age it’s time to ‘man up’ and no longer is it OK to cry or you might be deemed a sissy (or worse). I remember my dear brother as he grew older being under this pressure to ‘man up’ and thinking that it was truly awful. He was able to maintain his tenderness, but I watched it cause him immense pain as well. How wonderful to have men re-connecting to their true tender and sensitive selves, and being empowered in the process. Just gorgeous.

404. Celebrating AND appreciating, what a lovely way to live. Living the day both celebrating and appreciating ourselves and others is a day full of Love, why would we want to live any other way! We deserve it.
     Upon writing this comment I started to really feel into the word ‘celebrate’, and I felt expanded, light and joy-full, and realised that this feeling is inside me and if I choose to connect to it then not only does my body get the benefit, but everyone else does too.

405. Beautiful sharing. Thank yoy James. I have been inspired by hearing Serge appreciate others strenghts too. It is gorgeous to hear and as you say it is something we just don’t hear very often in the world. Beautiful to hear your strength of sensitivity and the strength of being aware of what you are feeling. Something to indeed appreciate and celebrate.

406. Serge Benhayon does celebrate what we all bring individually and I know, as a men, that I have never, before meeting him, met another man that held no judgment of anyone, as he does. Serge is the role model for men, to re-connect to who we truly are, allowing the walls we have built to protect us from our hurts and rejections to be torn down, so that we can express our true selves to everyone.

407. This is exhausting to live this way.. isn’t it? “As men, it is as if we are brought up to be in a dog pit – constantly competing to be the top dog, always needing to show our superiority in whatever way we can so effectively we will not get crushed by the world or by others.” How beautiful is it then that as the tender, sensitive man you are James, that you are not afraid to express your gentle side. In no way does this make you less of a man, but in fact all the greater for it. It’s truly inspiring to see men break the mould of the toughness we are led to believe is the right expression of men, but deep down we all know is false.

408. Thank you monicag2, it is something we would be crazy not to want, yet so many of us suppress our feelings as find them too hard to deal with. I have learnt that we all feel everything it is just up to each of us how much of our feeling we allow and how much we suppress. The more we honour what we feel, even if just to ourselves, the more we consciously allow ourselves to feel and see the next time. It is one of the reasons why confirming and celebrating others is great as it brings that confirmation that it is ok and natural to be super sensitive, tender and caring.

409. Thank you Ingrid, it is crazy the notion of what we ‘think’ a real man is and how far from truth the picture actually is.

410. Sally, I agree it is a huge weight many men carry around on their shoulders, the tension we live with from little boys growing up trying to fit into the world – it is huge.

     1. Yes, thanks James for being one of the pioneers in releasing the weighty burden from the shoulders of men so that they can live truly again. And thanks so much to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting this precious and powerful truth.

411. This is lovely Emily, ‘It’s a different thing being celebrated just for who you are and what You naturally bring! Can you imagine if children were brought up this way?- celebrating their natural strengths..’ School seems to be about competition, about grades and how well you are ‘doing’ at different subjects, I work as a volunteer with year 2 children and they are all so gorgeous and unique and i can feel what they bring and yet their opinions of themselves and their teachers opinion of them seems to come down to how well they do at subjects – if they are a good writer or reader rather than the playfulness, light, joy,sensitivity, gentleness and grace that they bring.

412. I can imagine a world this way and it is up to our generation to bring our children up this way. As you say there is so much out there telling us that we are not good enough as we should be a certain way and not enough things confirming the gorgeousness that we are.

413. Thank you Vicky! 🙂 It is amazing how much we can each bring to each other when we allow our strengths to be seen.

414. … and this eliminates the competition… because without the right & wrong/ good & bad we have no measuring stick against others. We can instead appreciate and utilise our collective strengths together.

415. Me too, great blog James! You have a strength in writing for sure.

416. I can relate here to what you are saying James in that I have often feared being crushed or defeated by the world despite a confident exterior. I reckon most men carry a certain anxiety around this underneath whatever they portray outwardly. By celebrating our strengths and supporting each other rather than competing with each other, this allows all of us to drop our guard and be more open and honest which brings back that joy that we miss from young.

417. How life changing is appreciating and celebrating ourselves and others, I feel blessed knowing Serge Benhayon and all the Students of the Livingness for living in a natural way.
     Your blog is a beautiful testimonial of the Way of the Livingness, thank you James!

418. I love the fact that we can celebrate each others strengths and learn from them and it occurred to me that if we’re like that at work, we would not be in competition with each other.

     1. This is true Julie, ‘it occurred to me that if we’re like that at work, we would not be in competition with each other.’ The work environment could be harmonious, with everyone working together using their strengths and supporting each other, how very different workplaces would be.

     2. I agree Julie, the more we express,celebrate and confirm our own strengths, the more we are genuinely able to do the same with another.Thus there is no room for competition because all the room is being used to express,celebrate and confirm each other.

419. Your blog reminded me of the quote, ‘ It’s a dog eat dog world.’ where one has to out do another. This way of being seems very much accepted in so many areas of our lives, especially in the business world and from my experience it instills a need to survive and an uncertainty in who we are and what we bring. The fact that we can celebrate our strengths instead of competing with them is something that seems long forgotten – it may be talked about but rarely felt consistently in another. Serge Benhayon is an exception to this, for I have always known him to celebrate others strengths and back them 100%. There is not an ounce of competition or a need to outdo another. In this way, Serge has shown me that we can celebrate and draw on each others strengths to truly support one another and grow stronger as a society by doing so.

420. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.”
     Such a beautiful sharing James. thank you for your honesty, a true inspiration.

     1. It is so common amongst men as well as women to put on an act, pretending life is great even if their life is falling apart around them. It is so refreshing to be around men like yourself who are willing to be vulnerable and share what they are feeling,this then opens it up for women to be able to be their naturally nurturing selves.

421. “…. ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.” This is beautiful James. Lead the way for all young men and show how being sensitive and tender is not a weakness!

422. Competition is such a killer. It is always requiring us to constantly strive ‘to be something’ which is not ourselves and makes another lesser or, we are the one that is ‘lesser’. Whichever way it denies us being able to just express who we are and how we are feeling without any demands.

423. Gorgeous blog James, I especially felt the part about appreciating others and being behind them 100% rather than following the normal pattern that I grew up doing which was to out-do, compete with and put down another. What you’ve shared is a far more enjoyable and inspiring way to live life.

     1. So true David. It feels like only when you honour your sensitivity there is no need to compare or beat another. Your feelings are too sacred to go into something else to try and outdo another. You actually become more playful instead of competing.

424. Thank you James, I love that you have learnt so much about what it means to you to be sensitive and to allow yourself to be seen in full ~ as the whole package of a man, so-to-speak. It’s deeply inspirational and supportive for us as women to understand that no matter our choices or upbringings we are all equal when it comes to our sensitivity. Something for us all to deeply cherish in ourselves and in each other, man or woman.

425. I love how you say James, that by celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and in that way can learn from each other men and women equally. Thank you James for living your sensitivity as a beautiful strength which inspires me to live this too.

426. Beautifully expressed James. It is such a release of tension and stress learning to live without competition and instead celebrate another.

427. I loved reading your blog…. there is so much strength in writing what you have, which will inspire many men…. to be true to themselves…. and not what society says you have to be.

428. The world of men is slowly changing because of the role model Serge Benhayon presents to everyone at all times. It is time for all men to buck the trend by showing the world what at the same time has caused us to hide… our true, tender and loving self’s.

429. ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ Reading this is so beautiful James and thank you for expressing so eloquently the way forward for men and women. To live in a world where we support and celebrate each other for who we really are now that’s somewhere that I would like to live. I feel inspired to start making it a reality from now on.

430. What you say is so true James and from a women’s perspective I personally find the later of the two way more attractive. Being competitive is such and ugly way to be and to go into arrogance and put people down I find very off putting. When you see a man being him self and not any of the ‘should be’ I am instantly drawn to connect and be with them also.

431. Great Blog James, I am now seeing more and more that it takes a real man to be connected to his sensitivity and tenderness and be comfortable with letting it show for all to see. I too have been inspired majorly in this area my Serge Benhayon, yourself James and many other men that are no longer afraid to open up and be real.

432. James, I celebrate your strength in writing this sensitive blog. Competition to always be striving to go one better than another is ugly. I now find it difficult to watch the Wimbledon tennis tournament with the aggressive competition to defeat the person the other side of the net and the fist punching triumphalism when a match is won and the opponent is defeated. I much prefer to see and be with men when they are being supportive and caring of each other and treating each other as equals.

433. I really enjoy how you have put this together James Nicholson: by celebrating the strengths in other men we actually outdo competition that is so commonly expressed between men in our societies. This competition that we men use to withhold ourselves form being sensitive and tender, is something we have to let go and we have to start to appreciate and celebrate each other in all what we do and in how we are, because we all are sensitive and tender men.

434. Thank you so much James for choosing to be the tender man you are and to reflect that not playing the game of competing with others makes one free to live without the tension we see around us so often. I too have found that celebrating my own beauty and strength as well as those of others is a very fulfilling and expanding way to live.

435. A world free of competition where people celebrate each others strengths, support each other and inspire them to be more is really beautiful to imagine. Who knows what we would be capable of if the whole world backed us and held us up like that. We would all be tension free majestic peacocks indeed.

436. James, in being able to let go of the competition part you are able to expose your hurts which are often a cause for being in competition. Awesome.

437. This was a pure joy to read James and expressed with such honesty. “I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as man.” Seeing a man be his truly tender self in the world is magic. Thank you for sharing the true you.

438. There are many great ‘takeaways’ from your post James.

     In Australia the tall poppy syndrome is alive and well – when someone is successful and making a genuine contribution to society, we also see the jealous ones trying to cut them down.

     Yet as you say, we can learn and evolve by celebrating the strengths of others. What a marvellous way to cut the tension created by envy.

439. This is beautiful James – opening up to appreciating others and ourselves for what we each bring in our own unique way and understanding that the part we play no matter how seemingly big or small is an essential part of the whole.

440. Great exposure of the ever-present competition and underpinning comparison that go on between us human beings and in this instance between men. It is not natural to behave like this towards each other, even if we have learnt to accept is as ‘normal’. Normal is NOT great and normal needs to be outed for what it is, a terrible compromise that leaves us all so very short of our true amazingness.

441. I love how simply you put what sensitive is. Simply being aware of what you are feeling. It redefines it so well and makes it much more accessible.

442. Thank you James. It is truly lovely to celebrate the strengths of another man rather than compete with him. Serge Benhayon provides a beautiful example of an amazingly tender and loving man.

443. Absolutely James, as men we can now live the truth of the true tenderness that is our real power and not the fool hardy archetype T.V. hero so many strive for.

444. This is beautiful, James. If we are all able to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others, that will expose the silliness of competing/comparing and wanting to and be Mr./Ms. Perfect – because with everyone having different strength to offer, we make the perfect One as a whole.

445. Yeehaa Thank you James for your blog, it feels so wonderful to hear a man expressing the way that you do and being a man. I can very much relate to this as I too have lived a life of seemingly having to live up to somebody elses expections which greatly affected me, by hardening me up and shutting myself down to my true tenderness. As I give myself permission it is just starting to naturally unfold now at 51 years of age, never too late!!!

446. I can relate to seeing sensitive men as week men and un-masculine same with women really if woman cried I would think, if not say “get over it there is no need to cry about it” no matter how tragic the situation was. Thinking back that reminds me just how hard and shut down I was totally unwilling to feel anything. I now embrace my feeling and those of others and see them as an enormous strength. The power in feeling and truly claiming my delicate, fragile and feminine authentic self supports me to offer an amazing reflection to those around me and supports them to do the same.

447. Little boys are naturally so sensitive, loving and affectionate. It is very sad to see the way some parents, often fathers in particular tend to treat the boys in their lives to toughen them up to teach them to survive living in the dog pit they remember growing up in. Wanting to protect them from the hurts they felt growing up not feeling accepted as the sensitive, loving and affectionate little boys and young men they truly were. This way of parenting comes from our own hurts and a need to protect our children from our own unresolved hurts.
     It is lovely to see so many new parents raising their children with so much love after taking responsibility for dealing with their own hurts and developing a more loving way of living themselves.

448. I love what you’ve written here James and agree that celebrating our strengths and those of others is really important and genuinely valuable. It doesn’t as you say mean that we can’t also see our weaknesses, they are still seen and worked on but instead more clearly from a foundation of our strengths.

449. James I love what you share here. ‘Celebrating our strengths’ – yes, that makes all the difference and takes away competition. Bring it on.

450. Awesome James. I love how you beautifully articulate how appreciating and celebrating others’ strengths and achievements overcomes competition and brings a different quality to our relationships; one which nurtures and grows a community. Fantastic.

451. Appreciating each other and celebrating our own strengths and the strengths of others is something I feel we can be more generous with. I have found when we truly do appreciate our own strengths it is natural to appreciate and be inspired by the strengths of others. I love our unique expressions all coming from the one divine source.

452. This is beautiful James. I have a teenage son and it’s so ingrained in society that you have to be strong and tough and competition is rife. Actually competition becomes the foundation of how they relate to each other. Truly celebrating each others strengths is unfortunately a foreign concept…so I love what you write here. Thank god for you and other men that are coming back to re-discover and live the true strength of a man in all his tenderness, vulnerability and love.

453. ‘Men’ and ‘sensitivity’ are not words that are usually put together in a favourable sense, as in sensitivity has often been portrayed as ‘unmanly’ so I like the way you have reworded the meaning of sensitivity and presented it as a strength. It is powerful to be aware of what is being felt. When a man accepts his sensitivity and tenderness it is very beautiful to be around.

     1. I agree Deanne, the preciousness of men is equal to that of women and children, it is very joyful and humbling to be around it.

454. This is a truly inspiring blog James for men and women. A great question for everyone to look at :where do we still choose to play these roles and not live from who we naturally are? Thank you for sharing your experience.

455. Brotherhood and tender sensitivity, not competition and hardness, are most definitely the greater serving qualities to have and nurture for this world James, and as you share with us here in this post.

456. What a great contribution to humanity here in your writing James, awesome. I love the point you make; ‘By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.’ All for one, one for all.

457. It is absolutely wonderful to read of a man who is willing let go of the constrictive beliefs and ideals that are pressed upon males from when they are a young child. Thank-you James for honouring and claiming your sensitivity and tenderness. This is true power and an inspiring role model that demonstrates to other men a different way of living.

458. “… the power this world so desperately needs.” That is beautifully expressed, Amber, and also absolutely true!

459. How inspiring to read of a man who is claiming his natural sensitivity and tenderness, James, and walking away from beliefs that would hold him in a position of defensiveness and competitiveness. This will inspire so many men to return to their natural strength and sense of brotherhood with other men.

460. This is a powerful blog James, and as a woman I can still very much relate because of the protection that I tend to hold myself in – the hardness that can come in, as well as the comparison with other women and the need to compete. But like you, much of this has been wiped clean thanks to countless inspirations from Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners. Not to say I am perfect with it – but it seems that the more I explore it, the more layers of the hardness I can shed and allow more of the vulnerability and fragility out and hence in the process just be ME.

461. We focus a lot on the comparisons women endure amongst themselves for their appearance but in fact men have to suffer the onslaught of comparison too. They suffer from being compared against each other for their toughness. What a crazy world! Thank you James for bringing light to the power of focusing on our own and each others strengths with a view to building and developing ourselves and others as opposed to tearing each other down by compassion. Awesome blog!

462. Thanks James Nicholson, you have put into words exactly what I too have noticed about the way Serge Benhayon demonstrates celebrating success in others. And from this observation, I have learnt what it truly feels like to be inspired by other’s strengths, as its completely knocks out comparison, which fuels the ‘better than, less than’ merry-go-round. . We all each have our own unique way of expressing our strengths, which, when you celebrate the strengths it absolutely offers inspiration. Just like there are many colors in a rainbow, each and every single color, (each and everyone’s strengths), is vital to make up the whole of white light.

463. A Beautiful, tender and honest blog. Thank you James for expanding my world. In the past I have felt that ‘Men’ must have been born with a different ‘chip’ that allowed them to withstand the forces of competition, physical & mental, to not feel sadness, hurt or rejection for they never showed it. Men were just ‘tough’. The insight you are bringing by the sharing in this blog brings so much love, tenderness and awe. By being who he truly is, Serge Benhayon has shone a light on the depth and sensitivity in all men and exposed the lies society has put in place around men’s roles. A blessing for us all that you are now living all of you and bringing that to the world, especially for our young ones.

464. James what you are saying about celebrating the strengths of others is so true and is important for men and women equally. I find when I go into comparison I feel threatened by what others are offering and become contracted- it feels horrible.
     “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other”.
     This is such a beautiful learning.

465. That’s true James, competition creates jelousy and people not feeling good enough. It doesn’t celebrate all for what they can bring, only crushes those that aren’t “the best” at something.

466. I can feel how damaging it is to compare myself to another when I read this blog. I find it so strange that people can use the words’ healthy competition’ when it is clear that competition and comparison only separate and divide us.

467. Jame a truly gorgeous blog that has deepened by appreciation and understanding of all men. Thank you.

468. Serge, Michael & Curtis Benhayon are men that live openly who they truly are, sensitive, gentle and tender but the strength and power they emenate is palpable. It certainly puts to rest the belief that these qualities pertain to weakness!

469. The words ‘dog pit’ are very graphic at the start of this post and I could feel the hardness and aggression of the macho male energy which is so not who men really are. A beautiful exposure James and a testament to yours and other men’s loving acceptance of themselves as sensitive beings with many true strengths to feel and to share.

470. “we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow”. I love how these words feel. How awesome it would be if every person embraced responibility to the extent that we were all willing to lead when it required it, and at the same time we were all so aware and honouring of the whole that we would naturally follow and support whatever truly serves the well-being of the whole. I have been witnessing the Benhayon family work this way for some years and now am witnessing more and more people be inspired to live in the same way. I love the depth of what unfolds from this way of working together.

471. Wow amazing Blog James… That’s so beautiful to read from a mans perspective. I know I can see men around me in my daily life competing with each other and not daring to show their natural tenderness. I can’t imagine how lost they would feel in themelves when who they are has been modified to suit today’s picture of a man.
     Thank you James, so very well said.

472. Thank you James for this awesome blog. I agree, when we celebrate and appreciate ourselves as well as other people we feel expansion. Appreciation definitely supports the celebration of who we are. Competition is the opposite, I’ve never liked being in any sort of competition, it just never feels loving to try to be above others. Appreciating people for who they are and not by what they’ve achieved is something that I feel we need more of in this world.

473. Hello James Nicholson and I can really relate to all you describe here. I love the way you ‘go at’ competition and help us realise that, “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” This is a far cry from the way we see each other as men, appreciate and celebrate each other, rather than compete and outdo certainly feels a lot easier to me and definitely takes less energy. I agree also Serge Benhayon is a marker for all men with this. I have never seen him attempt to compete or outdo any man or anyone but I have consistently seen him celebrate and appreciate everything around him. From the depth of relationships I see Serge Benhayon have with so many people all around the world it certainly speaks volumes for this way of living. Thank you James.

474. This is lovely James. As I read this, I asked myself who I can bring appreciation to. I thought of someone with whom there is some comparison between us, so celebrating this person’s strengths (and the strengths of others and myself in general) will be a support to our relationship. Thank you.

475. Your point about how you are brought up was illustrated to me by a young 13 year old I was talking to about the different ways we can resolve conflict. He said that with girls he will talk it out but with boys they just have a fight and someone wins. It is what he saw as completely normal yet he is super sensitive. So to have blogs like this and conversations giving space for boys and men to not just see this as how it is … That is vitally important. Thank you James.

476. To combine sensitivity and tenderness does not take away any of your essence of manliness James. May you inspire other men to reconnect with their true nature.

477. You make some great points here James, especially about appreciating other people’s strengths and learning from them, instead of seeing everything as a competition.

478. I love the sensitivity and awareness you have, James and this is definitely felt in this blog. Thank you for allowing these natural qualities in you as man to show, it is a great reflection for men and women to see and feel 🙂

479. Gorgeous James, being aware of what you feel is absolutely a strength 🙂

480. Your sensitivity coming through this blog James is so beautiful to feel and an amazing gift for any one reading this. To cut out competition and offer this equality amongst men is so needed in this world.

481. I agree Amber. I see men who stand in the strength and sensitivity as being gentle, powerful and confident. They know who they are and deeply know how to treat others.

482. Thank you James. This is a gorgeous blog. I super love ‘we can all lead and all follow’ way of being. A way that allows all our uniqueness and equal ness to be there in a way that is supported and supportive to the whole.
     Serge Benhayon is absolutely a groundbreaking example of this.

483. I love this James…”I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as man.” – that I imagine was exhausting, to live as a lesser version of yourself.

484. A man who is unafraid to be sensitive is a man with true strength.

485. It makes perfect sense to focus on our strengths to build a solid foundation on which to then strengthen any weaknesses. This gives me much to ponder as it is very easy to get caught up in a cycle of constantly having to improve myself which leaves massive openings for competition and comparison. Thanks for your insight as to how this is for men too James.

486. Beautiful sharing James, I deeply felt touched reading your blog. I myself , as a woman , could feel how I have hold up a flag my whole life that was actually encouraging this behaviour of competition and being macho. I can feel now, being very honest, that I have done this in order to not feel their incredible tender quality men have.. Deep down I can feel that if men are being macho, it is much more comfortable for me then when they are being sensitive, tender and themselves.. Ouch. A strong belief I was using to uphold the deep sensitivity I am, but had not explored for a while. Men are just equal beautiful reflections of: sincere, true strength and absolute tenderness. What am I glad to feel is that I will no longer encourage the ‘macho’ and competition behaviour. Thank you James , this all because of your reflection.

487. It is so unusual in our society to hear a man express this way, James, and feels so loving and supportive for us all that you have talked about your sensitivity so openly and naturally. May your way of living and being be noticed by other men around you so that they also learn how much more loving that would be for themselves. The fact that you say sensitivity is being aware of feeling and that it gives you a strength, means others cannot see you as weak and can come to experience that strength for themselves.

488. “I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others”. This is gold James. If we all embraced what is on offer here and made it an integral part of our daily rhythm, humanity would be a very different place.

     1. This is ‘gold’ Anne, I agree. Celebrating the strengths of others as well as ourselves supports us to grow in so many ways and reminds me all the time that despite my old beliefs, it is extremely natural to openly and lovingly receive the support of another and their strengths. For how else will we have real harmony and expand our understanding of what true family actually is?

489. The beauty of a man who can be in touch with his feelings and openly express sensitivity and tenderness is a delight to witness.

     1. so true Rachel “The beauty of a man who can be in touch with his feelings and openly express sensitivity and tenderness is a delight to witness.”
        I keep coming back and reading your comment.
        It is a delight to witness and it is something I have struggled with in the past having an automatic reaction for me has been to go into judgment thinking they are weak. it is lovely to feel the strength in a man willing to express his tenderness openly and sensitively. I think seeing these qualities in men reflects the lack of them in me as a woman.

490. Thank you James a much needed discussion to be had. I love this sentence “I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.” I have witnessed such immense and beautiful changes in the men who have attended the Universal Medicine workshops, because as you say, Serge Benhayon celebrates our strengths equally so and then offers us ways to understand, identify and nurture our weak points. No one is ever derided for not being enough, we are constantly encouraged to claim our natural strengths and real sensitivity and support others to do the same. It is a true joy to see the way men have been freed from the prison of always having to be Top Dog and allow their true selves to emerge, selves that care deeply for people and the world and have much love, wisdom and truth to offer us all.

491. Celebrating our strengths, this is an enormous support and so very opposite how we usually learn in this world. Thank you James.

492. This blog is a must read for all men, imagine a world where men connected to and expressed what they were feeling all of the time. Serge Benhayon is unique, as this is his every day way, he inspires men to see that it is possible to live this way, in a world where men are mostly shut down from what they feel at a very young age because they are taught to ‘toughen up’ and ‘be a man.’ Now there are more and more men like James embracing their feelings and daring to be the sensitive men they always were. This then inspires the women to reclaim their sensitivity.

     1. I loved what you have said here marylouisemyers…. so true. Imagine a world full of men being true to themselves… claiming their sensitivity and embracing their feelings…. so cool.

     2. Yes the knock on effect is huge. The more men show that it is totally ok to be themselves, to show their sensitivity – the more it encourages everyone around them to do the same. It allows for spaciousness in another and the grace to feel without judgement what exactly is going on for them. It allows for fledgling strengths to take flight, for an acknowledgement of what we each bring with a commitment to work on our weaker areas with joy. So gorgeous and confirming.

493. “A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are. If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do. ” I can concur with this, Serge Benhayon absolutely gets behind people doing well, and has no hesitation in sharing it with them, celebrating and appreciating it.

494. The more we celebrate our strengths the smaller our so called weaknesses or stuff we’re just not that great at becomes. It’s cool not to be great at everything and very natural. And how exhausting it would be if we didn’t have other people that could bring different strengths to the board to learn from and support us all.

495. I love this James and it is so eloquently written. Reading articles like this remind me that men are equally as sensitive and as tender as women. Meeting men like yourself who have allowed themselves to feel their natural sensitivity again, increasingly reminds me to treat men (as well as women and children) with gentleness as inside we are ALL just as sensitive.

496. Great call James, I also feel this is true of women as well. There is so much competition, comparison and jealousy, trying to out do each other, be it with a family, job, kids, car, clothes, hair, body, relationship ….. the list could go on. Come to think of it, this is not just man to man, woman to woman, but covers a multitude of layers across both genders. We are constantly trying to out do or prove ourselves to one another. There is no love nor strength in that, and definitely no teamwork or support.

497. James, your blog brought some tears to my eyes, I felt very moved by this sentence, “I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.”
     It is so sad that men have been encouraged to shut down being aware of what they feel. I wonder if this phenomenon began post war, with families bringing their boys, young men, up to be tough and hardened away from feeling the hurt of such horrors, to protect them, give them an edge, to compete to survive, so they would be able to cope if another war should come at them? But coping is not living, coping feels like living at the surface of who you are, shutting down the tender feeling part in order to survive.
     Boys start out with a tenderness and depth of feeling that is so lovely, disarming and something to treasure, no different to girls. That you have re-found that in yourself and are unafraid to claim and celebrate it is awesome and offers a way for other men to do the same.

498. Man! The things we do as men!
     Isn’t it exhausting! And really it’s kind of harder for men than for women – only in that the stereotypes that women get boxed into by society are kind of exposed and open for discussion – at least an issue that is discussed. But for Men – it’s really not mentioned. We are still just expected to be that which a Man is supposed to be – not questioned or discussed (until now maybe – thanks James). Something else that I think is a side effect of this is that we end up fighting each other – this group vs that group, this team vs that team, this company vs that company, to be the best. What would it be like if everyone all worked together for the same thing?
     Imagine what it would be like if every man said ” ok – you know what, this sport thing is ok – we’ve done it, we’ve got the World Cup and the NRL Grand Final and the super bowl and the Olympics – but to be honest its getting a bit ‘same same’. Let’s instead put all of that effort, all of that time, all of that money into working together to make sure that every single child on earth gets taken care of completely and is never hurt, abused, or is lacking in care and love.

     After all – we are the Men. We love our kids. We love our families. We care about our mates.
     Would that not make us feel more like the Men we know we are – all of us working together?

     Thanks for saying something James.

     1. Good call Simon and I like your reference about sports being same same. I now see major sports as pretty much Groundhog Day activities with the same hype, posturing, emotions, corruption and the willingness of many athletes to do untold damage to their bodies for a result.

        It’s mind boggling to think of putting all of that effort and money into “working together to make sure that every single child on earth gets taken care of completely and is never hurt, abused, or is lacking in care and love.”

        But boy, how meaningful that is…and it feels so right.

     2. I love what you are proposing here simplesimon888. The whole of society would change if men put their efforts into doing what they do best which is caring for others. Imagine indeed if all that time spend on sport was given to working together to eliminate abuse of any kind. What a world that would be.

499. “By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.” It would be wonderful if this could be the norm in relationships between men rather than the competitive nature that tends to exist.

500. I really enjoyed reading how far you’ve come James – from accepting the old and widespread ideals of what it is to be a man i.e. not cry, be tough etc. in fact the complete opposite to being sensitive which is as you’ve discovered what you truly are underneath all of the bravado. I love how you’ve come to the understanding that being sensitive is simply ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – there is so much power and strength in this, and it’s wonderful to see so many men re-connecting with and embracing the beautiful qualities they innately hold such as, tenderness and gentleness.

501. Being able to accept ourselves in full, our strengths and our weaknesses is a mighty task indeed. When this happens, as you so beautifully share, there is space for so much love, growth and evolution! We are not meant to be perfect, have everything together and/or do it all on own own. We have been designed to be in brotherhood, work in teams, share our lives with many many people! There is so much joy when we are able to let our guard down and be sensitive and open and innocent and vulnerable within moments in life. Personally when I have done this it has allow the most truthful, deepest devine connection from others feeling my sensitivity and my vulnerability to life. It is within these very moments that the most intimate and strong connections have been made where I personally have felt very very met by all those around me caring for me. It is only because I allowed my self to be open and feel this that I been able to feel the tender love of people and man kind. Before coming across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I was a totally different person not trusting anybody. Now I am learning to trust again and make true beautiful friendships.

502. James I am sorry to say that as a woman, I totally relate that you have said about the competitive way in which men are living today. I found this particularly true as a women at work, and observed it in other women in that environment also. It as though women we took on the ways of a more male environment in the process of becoming successful and accepted in the workplace. As you have shown, those ways are not true for men, and they certainly are not true or supportive for women. Thank you for explaining how it is possible, and natural to live without a debilitating competitive edge.

503. Thanks, James. There is so much subtle competition going on between men, and appreciation and honesty are my tools to get out of this totally harmful behavior. To share my full appreciation and honestly all my thoughts and desires has been confronting, has led to tears, but more so, to lots of laughter, innocence and more intimacy and truth in relationships.

504. James Nicholson you are on Fire!! Thank you for expressing your appreciation of Serge Benhayon and how important it is to “celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others.” To not compete or compare, but to work together. It is true- to do anything but this will never work.

505. I celebrate you James and this wonderful blog. Thank you for being the no macho man reflection, the world very much needs this.

     1. Very beautiful blog. ‘I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others’. This highlights the fact that we are all equal and our strengths compliment each other in a way that no one person is better than another. To celebrate who we are is powerful and amazing.

506. A beautiful and sensitive blog James, so lovely to hear you talk about your sensitivity as a true strength in yourself as a man. For men to openly appreciate others and them selves will cut out the competition which is evidently suffocating them from a true relationship with each other.

     1. I agree James and rosannabianchini, a man embracing his sensitivity is very beautiful and a true strength for all.

     2. Indeed Rosanna, appreciation and sensitivity expressed freely among men is a very healing experience. We are so trained to be in constant competition and comparison that often we do not realize how much we have in common.

        1. Great point Michael; to look for what we have in common rather than to compare and scan for differences so that we can be on guard.

     3. Yes well said Rosanna, it is evident because men can be so uncomfortable with their male relationships. I know I can see it and if they are honest they would be able to feel it.

507. Thank you James. I love the way you express sensitivity as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’, I agree this is an enormous strength.

     1. Yes this is a beautiful and truthful way to define sensitivity. It is like having the innocence and awareness of a young child- free of protection.

     2. I agree Victoria. Sensitivity is one of our strengths and what can possibly be gained by learning to suppress our true feelings, to harden against our natural sensitivity? I am actually feeling enormous gratitude that Serge Benhayon has been inspiring men to transcend the societal masculine constructs of toughness and insensitivity and to James for reclaiming himself in this manner.

     3. Yes indeed a beautiful way to express sensitivity James, how could this ever be called a weakness.

508. This is an awesome article James.
     The world will be such an amazing place to live when we can all learn this and put it into practice in everyday life.
     To accept others strengths and support them in that is so needed.
     I see it all the time, someone will have achieved something and yet when this is spoken about or mentioned, it is quickly shot down or unacknowledged and then always the next person will have done something larger or better.
     What is here shared is beautiful, and something I am going to look deeper into!

     1. I agree Thomas we have set up the world to be a place where we try to outdo one another rather than celebrate and appreciate each other and all the different strengths we bring. Imagine if we all worked together, supporting and enhancing one another with our different qualities and strengths.

     2. In eliminating competition and comparison, and thus genuinely supporting and appreciating each other, the natural tenderness and sensitivity of men will shine. The world is sorely in need of these qualities.

     3. That’s so true Thomas.. I have seen this happen as well; the man that was sharing something amazing about themselves is not appreciated because the next man has immediately made a competition of whose done the biggest or largest thing. It becomes a contest and the man is not appreciated for what they have done or who they are.
        James it is so beautiful so see this blog inspiring so many people.

     4. I agree, Thomas: the bigger, better, faster, more impressive mentality is huge in our world: time to let it go and start to cooperate, not compete. James makes a great start to this, here.

     5. Hello Thomas Muntelwit and I agree with you. Imagine if we all supported each other in the way that you and James Nicholson describe, the world would certainly look and feel different. What are we afraid of? We are so careful at times as men not to let someone get so called ‘big headed’ that we often don’t even acknowledge any part of them. What if we started to appreciate each other and truly celebrate all the things that are around us? From my experience and from the way I see a great friend of mine Serge Benhayon live, I can see it would change the world.

        1. Hello James Nicholson, I agree and equally to this, “men often struggle to accept true compliments especially when they seemingly come out of the blue” is possibly the uneasiness of the person delivering the compliment. A compliment may not hold them deeply enough at that point and maybe there is more to share. I have found appreciation even with men accepted because of the detail that is there. There isn’t just a snap shot of what has happened but more of a description of what you see. I see appreciation as a way of living, a consistency whereas a compliment seems to be more in the one off category.

509. I loved reading a males true perspective, well done James

510. Thank you so much James, this is a beautiful honest blog, as a woman it gives me a far greater understanding of men, what drives them and the way they interact. It is wonderful and inspiring that you now live your sensitivity as a great strength , not something to hide or shut down.

     1. I agree Kate and love how James has redefined sensitivity as a strength.

511. This is so beautiful James. Thank you for sharing.

512. Thank you James, I love seeing a man when he is truly tender and dropping the macho. For me there are few things more beautiful in this world.

     1. I whole heartedly agree annamccormack26; being in the presence of a man who owns and lives his tenderness is such a very beautiful, and healing experience.

513. Dear James, thank you for writing your blog. I can relate to the joy you express in celebrating your own strengths as well as the strength of others. When we do this, it helps to evolve us all. I grew up with the “tall poppy syndrome” which was all too common particularly for men and often was a means to put someone back in their box. However, what does cutting down another really achieve? If we are putting each other down, there is no room for expansion, no room for growth, it invites contraction and leads us to go deeper into our hurst and perhaps hold back our future expression. Really it is useless, it keeps us all less. Celebrating another’s strengths, now that is a different story. Through celebration we all grow.

514. Thanks James, you speak for so many men with your words. It’s a dog eat dog world so it takes a lot of sensitivity to hold who you are (or at least get back to it) without playing that ugly competition game with other men. It’s what we have been bred to do but nevertheless it’s completely unnatural.

     1. When it is written as dog eat dog, which as you say Dean, is how most men have been bred to be, it feels so harsh and crass. I look at my young son and see a beautiful, tender boy offering a reflection of how it could truly be for men. This blog, and the many comments, offer an inspiration for me, and I am sure many men, of how different it could be for us if we celebrate other men rather than compete with them.

515. I love this James – hiding our flaws is so much what we do really just to survive in a world where everyone does the same.

     1. There can be such a strength in the openness and vulnerability of exposing our flaws or perceived “weaknesses”. This then goes beyond mere survival and starts to approach truly living as a man.

516. “We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves. I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.” – Golden redefining of strength James.

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