Celebrating our Strengths

As men, it is as if we are brought up to be in a dog pit – constantly competing to be the top dog, always needing to show our superiority in whatever way we can so effectively we will not get crushed by the world or by others.

We are brought up with the idea of showing off our strengths and feathers, just like the majestic peacock, then keeping hidden any flaws and/or weaknesses we have, just in case someone else may see them, attack us there and expose the lie we are essentially living; a lie constructed so intricately that we can get through life seemingly unmarked.

We appear to ‘fit in’ and we avoid rejection, but underlying this we are still living with a tension because we know we are not living with the same joy and ease that we had when we were young.

This incessant need to live a lie changed for me when I met Serge Benhayon, whom I have been fortunate to know for quite a few years: Serge is a man who is not afraid to show all of himself – warts and all.

A beautiful thing about Serge is the way he always celebrates others for what they bring and who they are. If he sees someone doing well he will get fully behind them, unreservedly so, rather than trying to outdo or compete with them, as most men tend to do. This is not an extremely common thing to see in the society we live in today. Seeing Serge do this with myself, and others, has inspired me to also appreciate and celebrate other people more.

I have learnt that it is important to celebrate both our own strengths and the strengths of others. By doing so, our strengths will build and develop and will help us in the weaker areas of our lives, the areas we have chosen, for whatever reason, not to give as much time and focus to.

By celebrating the strengths of others we can be inspired to develop those areas in ourselves and can learn from each other.

We also give that person the confidence and confirmation that they will not be shot down for doing what they are doing, and by doing so, we are helping to take away the notion and idea of competition; that we should always be striving to outdo each other.

It has brought me a freedom and has taken away a lot of the tension and stress that I felt in relationships, especially those among men. I have found that it brings a great strength to relationships, a strength where we can all truly work together as a team, a team where we can all lead and all follow.

We do not have to be macho, super tough or anything like that, rather we can be our natural loving, caring and tender selves. I used to think that being ‘sensitive’ was quite un-masculine but now I simply see it as ‘being aware of what we are feeling’ – which I now embrace as an enormous strength to have.

I now am living far more the ‘man’ I naturally am and less of the act I used to put on to live up to the version of what I thought I needed to look like as a man.

by James Nicholson, BNat Design Consultant, Frome UK

Further reading:
Men – Are We Set Up to Fail?
To Truly Love Men: The Natural Tenderness of all Men

1,446 thoughts on “Celebrating our Strengths

  1. I attended a Universal medicine workshop recently and as part of the course we had to pair up. I found myself paired with a man who I discovered was absolutely gorgeous; to actually feel he was totally harmless and was so at ease with himself was a pure delight for me to experience. I work in a male dominated industry and I can honestly say that most of the men I meet are guarded, hard and very competitive with each other. Underneath this layer of protection they are very soft and gentle and some men will admit this but they feel they cannot show this to the world. As a society we have put men into a strait jacket why have we done this when we actually don’t like what we have asked them to become?

    1. Great question Mary, it makes no sense how we have asked and ask men to be. Naturally like you say we are all deeply tender and sensitive just have hardened up to get through life and we all miss out of our innate loving qualities.

  2. It’s a blessing having someone in our life who inspires us to celebrate our strenghts. Before coming accross Universal Medicine and knowing Serge Benhayon I didn’t see many teachers encouraging me to celebrate myself. Going at school was based on effort and it didn’t felt a joy to me, but very boring. These year I’m coming back to study and I’m appreciating the enjoyment that I can feel because I’m appreciating what I bring to the class each day, knowing that each one of us has something equally precious to bring. I wonder how amazing would be if we would appreciate each other and ourselves more often. Certainly the growing rates of stress, anxiety, depression, suicides…would go down in a split second. Everyone would know about their worth and value so there wouldn’t be reason to feel bored or not fullfilled anymore. There is a work to be done but how great having already people in this world who are living another way, full of joy and contentment for who they are in essence.

    1. It sure is a blessing having Serge Benhayon in our lives, and the more we appreciate this, I find the more I appreciate myself and the knock on effect is huge. So often we are taught to focus on our weaknesses whereas when we give appreciation and deepen our strengths naturally our weaker areas come up as well – so out with the blame and trying and in with the love and appreciation!

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