Studying for exams or tests can feel quite intense and stressful, however I have found that through making time to self-care, self-love, nurture and study in my own rhythm, studying can be much more fun, natural and easy.
In the past I have fallen for the belief that you have to focus only on your study in the exam period to achieve the best results, and this had a huge impact on how my body felt after the exams. I felt sadness, not because the exam did not go well, but because I could feel that the way I had studied was in disregard of my body.
I also felt tired – because I had pushed myself as I thought there was not enough time, and I did not always listen to the little signs when my body was asking me to stop and take a break or do something else for a moment.
It was also about the thoughts I allowed at times whilst studying, and how I treated myself. I would have thoughts such as “I will never pass this”’ and “I have not studied enough so I am very bad,” instead of feeling that I am a very tender, delicate, joyful woman who needs care, love and nurturing as my foundation, to then be able to do other things like studying without going into disregard for myself and my body.
After realising this I asked myself; can I study, care for, love and nurture myself at the same time? Wouldn’t this be a much greater way to study?
I have found that when I care for, love and nurture myself first and foremost, I can study in a way that is much more efficient and fun. I do not need to study long, arduous hours just to have read and be able to recall everything. Instead, I gain more of an understanding of what is important to remember for the exam by studying the things that are important and making sure I understand the bigger picture of what is being taught.
This is very powerful. I realised that when I am present with myself, as in not thinking about anything else while I am studying, I ‘just know’ what parts are important and I do not have to know every little detail and every page from the inside out to pass an exam.
In this way I am able to do so much more, in and besides my study, such as chatting with my family and friends, listening and dancing to some beautiful music or working in my job. This leaves me feeling alive and connected to people around me.
So, what are the simple self-caring, self-loving and nurturing things I choose to do to support me in this way?
- I make sure I listen to my body, for example taking breaks before my mind feels foggy
- Making sure I drink enough water throughout the day
- I keep myself warm whilst studying, with tea and warm clothes (especially in winter)
- Wearing clothes in which I feel beautiful and are comfortable at the same time, even if I am not going out that day
- I eat foods I know will support me and prepare nourishing lunches to take with me to University
- Going for a walk or choosing to exercise each day, as I find exercise and walking help me connect more deeply with my body
- I make sure I create time to spend with other people, be it in the supermarket, with my family or with friends
- I also love deeply caring for my body with warm showers with delicious douche gels and painting my nails in the colours I feel like
- Going to bed when I feel tired and waking up early
- Not studying in the evening as that makes it harder to sleep
Living in this way and going to the university is a world of difference from how I used to live and study. By taking care of myself first, I feel more solid in myself and am much more able to see the requirements of the university, and make a choice how to work with them.
The most important thing I find about living life and studying in University is knowing that everything is equally important, so that studying is as important as for instance exercising, cooking, spending time with friends, doing the dishes and spending time with myself.
In all this I find the way I am with myself is key to support me through University and life.
I am forever inspired by the teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who taught me to first love and care for myself before doing anything else.
by Anonymous
Further reading:
Surviving University
How to Study without Stress… Yes!
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
The same applies to how we work. When I make my life all about my work and get lost in it, I feel foggy and disconnected – and the work is a lesser quality. By learning to connect more to my body, take breaks when I need to, notice when I’m feeling distracted and need to focus more on what I’m doing, I’m much more productive and enjoying work more.
I agree Helen and then I realised that I can apply exactly the same approach to my work when it feels intense, if I stay with myself I will feel what is important and what is needed next rather than taking on unnecessary stress to get it sorted.
‘The most important thing I find about living life and studying in University is knowing that everything is equally important, so that studying is as important as for instance exercising, cooking, spending time with friends, doing the dishes and spending time with myself.’ This is such a huge learning for life, understanding that nothing is more important than the next thing. I so often prioritise others before caring for myself and I end up at the bottom of the pile. This is a great reminder for me at the start of a new week as my body is telling me loud and clear that I need to prioritise looking after me, or else I will not be fit and well enough to care for and support others.
You could equally write ‘Self-Care, Self-Love and Nurturing in Work’ as we are all stressing out about the same things in the workplace and through our working lives. Its huge that you have clocked this University and found a different way as that will support you throughout life. Also it will show others a different way and that tearing your hear out may not be the only solution!
It’s revealing when we come to do something we deem as important or work or study that we want to have more care or take more care in it. I’m not saying this isn’t a great step but at the same time seeing that if we had that same level or openness with what we perceive as the mundane or the everyday task then this would flow out to every task or even movement. We often want to look at the ‘big’ or ‘important’ things because they give us something while other things we may do every day just remain that, an everyday thing. But what would be more powerful in your life, something you do for a part or something you do all the time? The all the time task or movement is the key. No matter what the task, if we can dedicate to bringing all we are to the everyday the every movement then this would support, well everything. Therefore it wouldn’t matter if you were driving a bus, mixing cement, pouring a drink it would all be there as an extension of what was already there. I can see how I put life in parts and label all the parts or rate them when in fact it’s all the same and all a part of each other.
Its easy to get caught in perfection when you are studying, it becomes like an obsession and the “better” you are at an exam or an assignment, the higher worth and satisfaction you feel, but how long does that satisfaction actually last? And is it really worth it? Maybe what we are really craving is contentment, not a flitting high of doing well only to have to chase the next grade in order to achieve that feeling again . Keeping your mind and body focused on the broader picture is a great approach to study, not getting bogged down by the details and instead remembering that everything in life is equally important.
Thoughts can be so harming to our wellbeing if we allow them to enter and indulge in them. It is because I have come to know that those thoughts are not true but something I have created to abuse myself.
When you think about it the current education system really is quite insular and does not fully prepare us to graduate and come out into the real world in a practical sense with nearly enough awareness of how to balance both our work and life responsibilities.
There is the potential for us to push ourselves in absolutely anything that we do. Being aware of this fact and committing to purpose and quality supports us to stay present focused and prevent that push from taking us off track.
A great reminder that we don’t have to starve ourselves of loving care when we’re studying or revising and that nurturing ourselves before and throughout the process supports our learning as it boosts our vitality and assists our focus and recall.
I never went to university, but wow I am amazed how unloving it can be with what I read and hear from others. It will be a hard nut to crack but certainly we need to start chipping away to find new, more loving ways to educate ourselves – ways that do not take us into so much disregard and exhaustion. Who ever decided that disregard and exhaustion was something people wanted!? Its no surprise that people are getting sicker. Listening to the presentations by Serge Benhayon has inspired me to know that there is a way of implementing Love into Education that is inspiring and fun.
To know that everything is equally important in our lives is a little gem of wisdom as so often in the past I placed more importance in certain areas of my life and not on others….. well that created much struggle….. When I stay connected with my body, it becomes so much easier to bring quality of presence to all that I do. Thank you Leike for this awesome blog.
I’ve found exactly the same thing jacqumcfadden04! As soon as I begin to place more focus on one area of my life more than another, things start to go out of balance and feel quite stressful and complicated. The key as you say, and for me too, is staying connected with my body, and to bring this presence into everything I do.
“I have found that when I care for, love and nurture myself first and foremost, I can study in a way that is much more efficient and fun”.
What an inspiration your blog is for people gearing up for exams in both Year 12 and university; in fact any body exposed to exams. I have 4 grandchildren preparing for exams with varying levels of stress and anxiety. I have chatted to them all about caring for themselves during this time; sometimes the choices they make are certainly not self loving, efficient or fun. A lesson for me in understanding and allowing!
When you write, “I felt sadness, not because the exam did not go well, but because I could feel that the way I had studied was in disregard of my body”, it reminded me of the time when I used to feel an enormous loss after any big project that had come to an end. The project not being part of my life anymore used to bring up feelings of devastation because I had so completely identified with what I was doing, had been so totally focussed on getting it done and then there was the huge emptiness of not having that in my life anymore.
It is great to read about how another student deals with the demands of University and makes it fun and a part of a loving life. Thank you
Self care is paramount no matter what environment or situation you are in on a day to day basis and the state your body is in will determine the quality of what ever task or job you are required to perform
To focus on only learning or working is not enough it might give your grade marks or more money but if your are not connected with how your body feels and able to connect to other people, to be open and loving, than you set yourself up for depression and exhaustion or other diseases.
It is definitely worth challenging the current way that education is promoted in university, because it seems to go hand in hand with being neglectful of oneself at the needs of the university to show its own success, after which the student is expected to go out in to the world with their qualification and continue in the university’s claimed achievement, but when does the student’s well being become the paramount important subject? And what are we really getting a qualification in, if we cannot care for ourselves amongst the pressures of adult life?
The power of true reflection is undeniable – deeply healing and far- reaching to all, for the all. Serge Benhayon is a living inspiration reflecting Truth from every angle.
What really struck me about this was the understanding you have brought to what is truly important and the bigger picture that is at play. With this understanding you are able to truly study what is needed without going into overwhelm around too much information. This is a great basis for truly bringing self love and self care to your studies and put aside all those false thoughts around not being able to study enough or not doing enough. To me this is true for all of life. If we connect to the bigger picture and what is truly important we are able to bring all that is needed without overwhelm or self doubt ever having a place.
Wow, this line really stood out for me “I did not always listen to the little signs when my body was asking me to stop and take a break or do something else for a moment.” How often I did this when I was studying, to not stop and listen to my body and what it was telling me. But actually I could say that in more general terms as well, not just when relating it to study, when working too long, pushing through tiredness, getting into ‘doing’ things just because. It is really a conscious choice to stop and listen to what the body is saying. I am stilling, every day, learning more about this, listening to myself. Some days I do and some days I still ignore. I then feel the outcomes of my choice and it very often feels awful. So it does help to recall these moments, to then bring deeper awareness to my next choice to self honour!.
What you have said here Gyl is huge. Taking responsibility is just too big for some so the head is turned the other way. Comfort is seen as the pinnacle of achievement in society, the more comfort we have the greater success one has achieved.
Kids at school getting stressed is no longer reserved for senior years either. I met a ten year old stressed about the examinations that determine where she could go to high school. Self-care is a great start, fundamental to this is getting to know our essence, breaking down the emphasis that is given to what is done and achieved, and put into the perspective of the quality we do things in, if our bodies are looked after as we do something and if it’s also with respect to other people.
There would be great benefit in all university courses having a module in self care and practical measures that can make the studying experience less of an ordeal and more caring. Self nurturing is an exceptionally important part of all our lives and it makes a lot of sense that we become experts at this in the most practical ways possible, becoming very aware of how we feel within our bodies within the University experience.
Thank God you are a teacher Gyl, and that there are other teachers who like you know that you are building the next generation of adult people – not just filling little receptacles with knowledge.
A very great point Gyl Rae, choosing to stay in comfort and plead ignorance is an irresponsibility that we really need to address. Humanity is truly worth this.
This is where it all starts gylrae, at school. How can we expect to have adults in workplaces who look after themselves and support others to do the same, when from school age it’s been the opposite.
Well summarised drop of Gold Aimee – ‘if I put all my energy and effort into one thing, everything else suffers.’ When it came to studying and exams I would always drop everything else and I can do the same now and put all of my energy in to one thing, like work or a project. Even in the balance of one day I can lose the commitment to all equally and it is usually exercise that I forego. I make it okay with words like ‘it’s just one day and this has to get done’ but what this allows is an attitude of outcome before quality, result before self-love and sets up a cycle of living with less responsibility to all areas in life on every day. This blogs speaks for what it is to commit in full to life whatever that may include at the time such as parenting or study etc.
It is horrific how many students punish themselves through these years of learning at the expense of themselves. This is needed here the most, as if you don’t begin the self care here, it will only continue when you are working in a job.
Hear hear Jane, I absolutely agree. Having returned to study a few years ago and now completed the course, the one major huge thing that was missing was how to take care of ourselves – this was never touched upon once during the year, or in my early undergrad course. It was all focused on ‘doing’, and people were a mess if I’m honest, myself included at times. As you say, self-care is paramount in all areas of work, and in daily life too.
Great that you have come to the understanding about living life and studying at University, ‘that everything is equally important, so that studying is as important as for instance exercising, cooking, spending time with friends, doing the dishes and spending time with myself.’ I love what a world of difference you taking care of yourself has made to support you.
Wow Leike I wish I could have read this when I was studying at university, I found the whole experience so loveless and meaningless I left after the first year. If I had taken more responsibility for myself care and love I am sure I would have been able to be more myself within the campus life, rather than feeing very alone and uncomfortable.
What great awareness you have gained by being present and honouring, caring, nurturing and loving yourself, ‘This is very powerful. I realised that when I am present with myself, as in not thinking about anything else while I am studying, I ‘just know’ what parts are important and I do not have to know every little detail and every page from the inside out to pass an exam.’ Far more efficient and freeing up of time for activities you choose.
I love what you have shared here Deborah, I was very unloving with myself through University. I drank and lot, stayed up all night doing assignments, drinking coffee all night and generally being very unhealthy. To have had the awareness, love and insight you have shared here, would have made my experience at Uni a very different and much more self caring and loving one.
An inspirational blog! I see this even more broadly than just for study: It is possible to have a full life, covering all aspects of life at once, taking lovely care of ourselves first and foremost. I still fall into the illusion of thinking that I can only focus on a couple of aspects of life at one time, leaving the others in disregard. But the truth is that when we are fully present and engaged with life, it doesn’t need to be a struggle! And we can devote a little time to each area regularly.
I love what you shared about not needing to know every detail but rather grasping the bigger picture and knowing what parts are important. Which then allows you to have more time for being with people and working.
Every person studying should read this blog – it is awesome. I would focus on study at the expense of everything else and so there would be no balance in my life, not to mention it feeling boring… I love here how you have claimed the importance of all aspects of your life so that you feel nourished and connected to yourself.
When we perceive we are under pressure concerning a specific outcome, a reaction to this is often to concentrate on that issue alone. This can often lead to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. What you say here concerning balance is very supportive “The most important thing I find about living life and studying in University is knowing that everything is equally important…” When I have something I feel requires my attention, I am now learning to make sure that it becomes part of my everyday life, I do not stop everything else to get one piece of work done. Treating everything in more equality really supports my quality of life.
The teachers are gold project is fundamentally important because schools are at the centre of life in almost every town.
Schools are the center of life for not only the children, but for the parents also and all the people (teaches ) who work there. We all need to be role models for our children, as children learn by reflection. It only takes one person to be reflecting self-care which can have a ripple effect for so many others.
You took the words right out of my mouth Henrietta Chang, thief, thief! Jokes but seriously this comment is on the money as is this blog, it is so important to remember that quality in all areas is the key to unlocking the harder areas of life.
Good point Deborah about our years at University being a reaction potentially to our teenage years. If we are not supported to honour and express ourselves during this time we are already feeling squashed, confined, confused and jaded with how life is compared to how we feel it could be. A pressure cooker just waiting to explode once we are given a little more freedom and independence. I know I thought that once I left school everything would be different and better. I remember I was disappointed to discover that in many ways University was just more of the same system. And even when I eventually left University and began my professional working life, I continues to encounter the same attitudes, politics, behaviours and problems that were present through my education.
When I see it in writing I am even more aware of the madness of the ever out of reach carrot that is our framework for life these days. One degree, one gold medal, enough money, this car, our kids…are never enough. We live with and accept a level of dissatisfaction that is more destructive than we can comprehend and all because we are looking and living away from a connection with ourselves, how we feel and what we truly need.
The carrot is always out of reach, it is out there, outside of ourselves, something to achieve, to keep us running after it. That way we forget that we don´t need all of that if we connect to ourselves, stop and feel our connection.
This is such a lovely reflection about how it is not necessary to go into the hugely disregarding and self-abusive approach most of us have to studying at university or in fact to any other task that requires dedication and focus. “when I am present with myself, as in not thinking about anything else while I am studying, I ‘just know’ what parts are important and I do not have to know every little detail and every page from the inside out to pass an exam.” This is a great philosophy to have in every area of life.
Hear! Hear! jinya I totally agree with what you say here.
“After realising this I asked myself; can I study, care for, love and nurture myself at the same time? Wouldn’t this be a much greater way to study?”
This is a lovely reminder as I was getting rather stressed about an assignment due next week. What if I love and nurture myself instead? I will get back to you next week with a report on how it goes…:-)
‘The most important thing I find about living life and studying in University is knowing that everything is equally important, so that studying is as important as for instance exercising, cooking, spending time with friends, doing the dishes and spending time with myself.’ There is so much wisdom in this sentence, to treat every area of your life with equal importance as each part supports the next.
Great point Oliver, I love it; enjoying being with myself when preparing the meal, rather than racing though to then sit and finally ‘enjoy’ the food. I can see how that leads to over eating. I just realised today too, how much I can enjoy my daily drive, instead of wanting to be at my destination already. I really appreciated the time to drive, sing, ponder, navigate through the traffic, appreciating being in the flow with everybody else. And I arrive very joyful and ready to go. Funnily enough the traffic seemed to flow much better too…
So true Oliver. I grew up favouring certain activities over others, hating some and therefore never doing them such as vacuuming my bedroom. By doing this life was always a bit yo-yo-ey, never consistent. Making activities about how I am when I’m doing them is a new way nowadays, no activity is terrible because I get to still feel me when I’m doing them and so being consistent in my life is far more likely. All made possible because Natalie Benhayon and Serge Benhayon shared how they live and love.
I love how this most important subject – how to support yourself while studying is covered in such awesome clarity and simplicity.
I know I used to be very grades focused when I was studying, trying to beat others at all costs.
The least important thing was how I got there.
Now I know that how I do everything, and this includes study is the most important thing.
This is a great point, everything we do is of equal importance not just the studying we do which we can easily get caught up in believing is “everything”, the quality of preparation or stress that I can feel going into an exam is actually effected not by the quantity of revision done, but actually the way in which I was during doing that revision
I agree – this is such a gorgeous way to live life living with equal respect and importance for everything, especially at uni where there is so much pressure and you are told exams and assignments are all that matter, this is exactly what many people do need.
Absolutely Jane – this would be a supportive part of any educational program and could even be part of the course with check-in points during the course. The program could be rolled out to teachers too so that they can apply the same way of living and teaching.
There’s a definite belief hanging over most university campuses that studying for exams is an exacting, all-encompassing, exhausting experience. The word ‘finals’ even carries an unstated association with burn out. Yet your approach feels very balanced, nurturing and most importantly, in perspective. Committed not just to your course, but to You in your course. I love how you describe how being this way with your studies allows you to maintain that connection to what is truly needed from you rather than slavishly covering all bases ‘just in case’. Way better life skills to be developing than those of cramming and recall!
I can feel how narrow my focus was when I used to study. Everything became about learning enough to pass an exam only to forget it all immediately afterwards. Little did I realise that in focussing all my attention on my studies I was forgetting everything else going on around me including self care and nurturing relationships.
For many people, like myself, being a student was an extension of my teenage years, but with no supervision and a great deal more disregard. People tend to have a crazy time socializing until their exams then have a crazy time cramming in all the work in the last 6 weeks. The way that you are handling your studies is inspiring, for students or not. We can apply it in all areas of life and it would be great when the day comes when all education systems endorse loving lifestyle choices as the supportive foundation of learning that they can be.
This is great!
Nearly all University students are under the mentality ‘live or die’ during exam period. Every thing is put below studying for a text, exam or a piece of assessment. I’m currently a university student and this culture is not hidden it is openly supported. Teachers often say let your close family know that you are in a exam period so you may not have as many responsibilities around the house.
Exams are important, I’m not saying they are not. However when they come at the expense of feeling lovely in the body and enjoying your day, something needs to be considered. A balance and tempo is needed so, as student, we don’t come out exhausted and gasping for air on the other side.
I can relate all the things you mentioned to self care for yourself when at University to my day job, working in many corporate offices as a consultant, ensures that I am sitting a lot, moving desks a lot, so not always in an ergonomically correct set up, very busy and tight timeframes, so building these self caring and self honouring markers into my day are really important. Your blog has also been a great reminder for me to go deeper with that self care, so thank you.
What you are sharing is very interesting, because at school or University we are very much encouraged to put studying before everything, causing so much burn out and overwhelming levels of stress for the students. however what your presenting makes sense. In industry we wouldn’t run a machine constantly without taking the steps to ensure it had the right maintenance to run efficiently. And yet during studying, we ask ourselves to work far more with less care for the body.
Great analogy Rebecca – it seems strange that humans can totally disregard the maintenance and workings of their own body yet we would never think that any other type of machine could run without the right care, fuel and maintenance.
I agree Melissa – it’s so ironic we would take our cars to the garage the minute something is up but we live with pain and exhaustion in our bodies for years and years before we address it!
Absolutely – I would say we are forcefully encouraged to put studying before everything else, and at the expense of everything else, which I would definitely say is contributing the the fact the universities in this country are largely about binge drinking. It’s just one form of disregard breeding another.
I agree Meg – At my school during exams we were told almost daily to work hard and play harder – setting all these young people up to grow up and believe that that way of life is healthy and normal.
This to me is the most loving support what everyone can give themselves:
Realising that you are so much worth it to say this:
‘I am a very tender, delicate, joyful person who needs care, love and nurturing as my foundation, to then be able to do other things like studying without going into disregard for myself and my body’.
Indeed monika2808, realising that we are tender and gorgeous is a great place to start from, to feel we are worth looking after in every way.
This line is simple and says it all to me “I make sure I listen to my body”
Thank you for sharing this Tracy Aisbett – This is seriously shocking – student burnout even in high schools as they are pushing themselves to always achieve more in preparation for University. What quality are these students going to bring to work when they finally move into a job?
I feel we are already seeing the lack of quality in people in the workforce and in the lack of workmanship in the things we buy. It will only get worse before it is shaken up and the momentum swings the other way, a way with love and integrity. For that to happen the education system needs to be broken down and rebuilt with love.
Similarly I have just completed a course of intense study, and know those thoughts of “I will never pass” all too well. Its like I use them to whip myself into a stressed state, to build some anxiety and create a state where I become intensely focussed and then afterwards feel all washed out and not myself at all. However, this time round I too could notice a difference when I stay with the things that support me – the exercise, the walking, how I eat. As a result the study is smoother, more efficient, and the person that comes out the other side in an infinitely better place.
I recently had exams to study for and I found that I was approaching it in a very different way than I had when I was at school. I really appreciate what you say about being open to the big picture, I really felt this supported me. And also how important it is to care for yourself and keep a balance in life. I found caring for myself and taking breaks and not being hard on myself as I used to when exams where coming really did feel amazing. I felt ready and steady when exam day came and it went well, without all the high’s and low’s that I once experienced. This steadiness has been something that I have built to support me everyday, and I continue to review and reassess it, however what is there now feels deeply supportive.
“In all this I find the way I am with myself is key to support me through University and life’ I agree with this and this is something I find in my own life too. If I am harsh with myself, this is the reflection I receive back whereas when I am loving and tender with myself this too is the reflection I receive from the world.
Thank you for sharing the caring and nurturing way of living that serves all equally including body. I love the fact that living in such a way does not leave us feeling empty.
My goodness, at age 24 knowing and learning all of these amazing self-caring and self- loving philosophies will set you up for life. I remember how horrible it was when I was studying and the amount of pressure that I put on myself to know everything. To know what is important and to feel the over-arching structure of the whole course, instead of getting lost within its pages is awesome. I am going for a job tomorrow and I feel the beautiful similar process that I am going through.
“The most important thing I find about living life and studying in University is knowing that everything is equally important”- great point you make Leike, because when I previously studied for exams the retention of all the information was my first priority which resulted in much disregard re food choices, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. I passed the exams well but at my body’s expense- definitely not the way.
As a research student at university I now have a window into what it is like to be an academic. I see a lot of super-busy and very stressed people who often aren’t all that well yet continue to remain focused on their roles to the detriment of their wellbeing. This is what is demanded of them to keep the university wheels turning yet the university system does little that in truth supports them as people first, rather than as productive machines. The people working in the higher education system will need to drive change from inside it – university administrators too when their people on the frontline start to seriously fall over.
This is brilliant. Knowing how to love and nurture ourselves makes a huge difference, whether as a University student, or a dentist – this is about building a foundation upon which we live. I remember how I used to work extra hard for a big project and secretly enjoyed the adrenaline high I was getting from it, and a huge drop straight after. Totally exhausting, but it was stimulating and I used that to spike my numbness and to get recognition.
Thanks for sharing Leike, we have made studying feel like a burden and something we have to put up with in oder to get a qualification when in fact if we commit to supporting ourselves by the quality of choices we make studying can be an enjoyable experience.
This is so gorgeous and applies to all areas of life and not just studying. That is how it is with The Way of the Livingness – which is what you are describing – it applies to every single aspect of life – is super simple, joyful and really works. Makes me wonder why we would live any other way!
Balance in life has always been spoken about but whoever knew where we found the balance, until such time as we became ill from over doing it we would then register we were out of balance. Now with the teachings of Serge Benhayon we have learnt for ourselves to listen to our bodies and from their we feel our own own way of living in steadiness.
It’s true this awesome that this is out there. I do hope it touches many people otherwise we are going to have many student burning out before they even get into their profession… and this is our future.
Well shared Leike, I actually had this type of conversation with a friend of mine last night, as I was feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed with my work load and study. He shared that I may be looking ahead of myself at a goal or what he called the horizon, but heading towards that horizon, I cannot forget about me in the process. I am in my space as I get there so I need to feel the love from myself so by the time I get to the harbour I can enjoy the sweetness of everything that brings and not continue in the cycle of I’m not there yet, gotta keep working, striving with no appreciation for the work I have already done.
Hello sjmatsonuk and I agree we should build the education system on blogs and comments like this. Self care and self love first and then all else from there. As you say this is a way to live first, rather than education being the most important thing. It seems anytime we put anything more important then first our connection and care it comes at a cost. The cost at times isn’t obvious at first but as we can see from around us the current way we are doing things isn’t working. Things like this blog are well worth the change, thank you.
There is a real consciousness around study and exams that guarantees a level of disregard. It is as if you have to push yourself into an unloving rhythm. Also that nothing is achieved without hard work. If you don’t do these things, then you haven’t tried hard enough. It’s as if the measure of effort is how much you gave up to achieve and how awful you looked afterwards.
As a uni student it is so easy to lose yourself in what is required and the pressure of time constraints of assignments and exams, so this is a great reminder in the power in staying with ourselves during our studies. I too have found taking time out to care and nurture myself supports me deeply to be loving with myself and avoid going into overwhelm which is nearly a prerequisite of uni these days.
It makes sense doesn’t it, that University is a microcosmic version of life: “In all this I find the way I am with myself is key to support me through University and life.” It’s all really very simple.
Love that Mary, ” a lesson for all students in the university of Living”… the one truly worth ‘mastering’ in.
This is such a great blog to read. It made me realise why I hated studying so much but when you bring in self care and in that solid foundation you were able to “studying the things that are important and making sure I understand the bigger picture of what is being taught”. It makes so much sense and is counter to the culture of education which was living under the stress of not being able to remember things for the test and whether you were going to get the grades you needed to get to the next level of education. Crazy! Aren’t we being educated to understand life and how to be in it first and foremost?
This is beautiful to read, what a difference this will make to your studies and dentistry also. What you share is a great reminder of the importance of self care in our lives.
I agree Jenny, those imposed expectations and beliefs that we place on ourselves, do not allow us to make what seems an obvious choice to self-care or support ourselves in full. To appreciate than we never need be anything more than who we are is a great reminder.
Yes Victoria, and to know we are equal to the grandness we come from is also key in being able to support ourselves in full… as I’ve discovered.
Perfect for me to read this at the moment because I am feeling things are a chore as well and also getting the feeling that I am wasting an opportunity. And that opportunity is to actually take great care of me whilst I am doing what ever I am doing.Which on reading this my feet are cold so I am going to get them warm!
It sounds to me like you are discovering a really great way to live your life. Being at university is no different from being at school or being at work, it all needs to be the same. The exam structure makes for more focused areas of ‘pressure’ and from school life these are built to be bigger than Ben Hur. I love what you have shared and will apply many of the tips regardless of where I am and what I am doing.
‘Wearing clothes in which I feel beautiful and are comfortable at the same time, even if I am not going out that day’ we can so easily choose to ‘bung on any old thing’ when we are at home all day working or studying but I have found unless I prepare myself for the day in a way that supports me, such as blow drying my hair after my shower and lovingly putting on make up on I find it difficult to focus and I drift. Whereas, when I have taken the time to be with myself and prepare myself for the day the clarity I have when I come to do my work is entirely different.
The words that really stood out for me, were your ones at the end where you describe everything as equally important. I can think of many times in my life were I have judged one thing (my baby, an exam, a project at work) much more important than all others. As you share, without a foundation of self love and care, this is exhausting. To allow space and time for ‘joy’ in studying feels amazing.
I find that equality of tasks quite remarkable and also inspiring, Carmin. I know for sure it is something I would like to develop as I have been brought up professionally always to prioritise – its always been presented as the sign of a good manager. Everything as equal – why not? But it is a very different approach to life, especially in education where it’s all about the differentiation and a hierarchy of ( self ) importance, as well as jockeying for academic positioning relative to one’s peers.
Such a great point you make here Floris. It’s the people who should come first before the studying, and I suppose we can use that in many situations. At work I often put completing a task before myself. If we were to make life about people first that would be a more loving and caring way to live, and that change can happen if we each start to do our bit and put our self care first.
I agree. Some of the tips I’ve received have not been supportive. The choice to not disregard my body with recent study went hand-in-hand with letting go of the need to have top grades. As I let this go more and more, there was less push in the way I approached study and then a lot of the time I did really well anyway without compromising my body for it.
Many students should read your blog – the key to study with no overwhelm and exhaustion, which you present here as a living proof. Whilst reading your blog, suddenly studying feels like not being hard anymore. Great!
This is the opposite of the typical university culture that we see portrayed – late nights studying, wild alcohol fueled parties and gatherings to relieve stress, nutrition less meals heated in microwaves when you think about ti it is amazing that anyone comes out form Uni in one piece. The choices you are making are really common sense and deeply honouring of your body so of course in return your body will be able to work well and deliver for you.
It is so obvious when it gets spelled out like this. It makes you wonder at the irresponsible template that presides as the ‘normal’ way of studying at Uni… and begs the question of how on earth we have allowed that to become normal?
I love this idea sjmatsonuk ‘ the welcome pack for every new student. This would be a great preparation instead of how they prepare the students now with all the (not so) fun traditions to welcome a student.
Thank you for this nurturing blog. I can just feel through the blog how you are lovingly treating yourself. Especially the line that everything is equally important was a great reminder again. When we see everything and everyone equally important than every moment will receive the same quality. In a way outcomes don’t matter anymore or living up to something in the future. I can feel more clearly now that when we bring loving care to each moment, we build a foundation for the next moment.
Yes so true Caroline, that everything is equally important from doing the dishes and taking the rubbish out as to study or going to work. When we can hold ourselves in the same level of loving care in every action then we are in co-creation aligned with the all.
Great message Leike, that everything is equally important no matter how big or small the task is.
Gorgeous, what a completely other way to be in university and to study. I have already sent your blog through to my university friends, as you are such an inspiration. Self-care in University should be a subject on its own.
‘Good medicine’ indeed – I wish I’d taken some when I was at university. Looming exams dominated my life and everything else was postponed, especially anything that might be loving or joyful. So exams became a slog and life was put on hold. How different it would have been if I’d followed this ‘recipe’ for living life’. I hope many students will read this blog and put these tips into practise.
Please can you see that this blog is printed in all study guides Leike – I love it. It is a true guide in how to study. How easy is it to live the tiny parts forgetting that they are part of a greater whole. Each part of our lives is indeed as important as each other and if we hold back in one, then we hold back in all. This is something I am only just beginning to understand.
I agree Stephanie. I especially love how she has shared how this way has made studying feel ‘fun’. Who would if thought that was possible.
I work in a university and am constantly seeing how stressed the students are, especially around assessment times. It is music to my ears to read a blog by a student who has learnt to put their self-care into practice and not allow the study machine to take over their lives. You have offered very simple practical tips that anyone could apply. One of the most important is your attitude of not making study more important than you.
I love the bullet points too – pertinent to every one. My daughter just happens to be studying at the dining table right now and I read the bullet points to her as some really great tips.
I love your list of ways you treat yourself self caringly, self lovingly, and nurturingly and how much you have been supported by these ways. You make University and study sound much more inviting rather than daunting. A great example for students starting out.
I remember studying and using food to eat to stay awake – anything would do. I would roll into bed at night desperate for sleep and get up the next day to start it all over again. It was awful! Self-care changes everything, so studying or working, I listen to my body and without perfection do what I can to care, nurture and be loving of myself.
Reading your article what I felt was this would not only help students but also professional.. teachers, health care professionals and many other professions in that self-care, self-love and nurturing ourselves actually supports our bodies in a great way so we can be more productive. I love the simple tips you shared in ways you do this for yourself.