Recently I had the opportunity to feel what it is like to not fully express my truth. I was in a situation where I had said part of what I felt to say, but I held back on what was there to be said in full. I held back because I was worried about how the other person might respond.
I thought it was my responsibility to not say too much, so the other person did not feel awkward about what was there to be said.
In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety. A lot of thoughts came up about what was right and wrong, such as:
- Maybe what I have to say will upset the other person.
- It may be confronting.
- Is it my place to say anything?
In all of this I realised that the other person missed out on hearing my expression in full and instead got a watered down version of what I thought was best to say. So in the end we both missed out.
I missed out on expressing what was there to be shared and the insight this sharing could have brought us both. We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.
Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?
I now have the understanding that it is so important to express in full so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort.
Although I know the truth, I have sometimes chosen to ignore it, or reacted when someone has exposed it to me. I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.
In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.
I remember as a young child I was deeply hurt when I found out Santa Claus was not true. I felt that every adult in the world had lied to me; this made it hard for me to fully trust adults and what they told me
When not telling the truth there can appear to be a short term gain, such as not creating upset, which allows a more comforting scenario to play out – letting myself be liked rather than being the apparent bringer of upsetting news. The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.
I have come to a greater understanding of Love, truth and expression through the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom and The Hierarchy presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. These teachings have inspired much grace and beauty in my life.
By TS
Further Reading:
Learning to Express Our Feelings – Part 1
Finding My voice Again
What happens When We Do Not Speak Up?
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.” And it takes awareness and practice in how we are with ourselves when we express.
I had the opportunity to feel the harm of holding back expression today and yesterday. I knew I had to say something yesterday but I didn’t and it left a relationship in a stagnant, unresolved place. So today when I felt something to express and wasn’t, it was even more obvious the harm it was doing to hold back. Once I did and we all expressed the whole feeling and cohesiveness in the group changed.
When we are true to ourselves and put ourselves first in our lives, it becomes easier to express what is there to express, even those challenging conversations, simply because, we have a marker to being true to ourselves.
Truth cannot be owned it simply is what it is and is inclusive of us ALL.
Yes Victoria and when we hold back the power of our expression it does hurt the situation as they have missed out on your exqusite truth, love, harmony,stillness or joy – or all together.
Your example of Santa Claus highlights how very much we are used to to not speaking our truth.
And how easily it is common for us to tell and make up things that aren’t actually true.. It has become about the surface, not the inner-depth truth.
There is no such a thing as ‘my’ truth. There is only truth or the truth.
‘My’ truth and ‘your’ truth have got us into a lot of trouble. Truth is absolute.
What I truly appreciate is how much we are able to express when we allow to drop any barrier and dare to go there and be raw and honest saying exactly what is there to share. I find it very strenghtning once you start doing so, it becomes your new marking point ( a point where you can come back to you, and after becomes your foundation). I big joy expressing is. And it enriches all of your relationships too !
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.” If one acknowledges and accepts this then expressing in full is easier because who does not want to be loving?
Our bodies are already communicating before we even open our mouth so not expressing what we feel gives complications instead of bringing simply the truth.
“Truth is the same as Love” – absolutely, and one cannot happen without the other. ‘Truth’ cannot be heard when expressed without Love, only the imposition of righteousness gets felt. ‘Love’ without Truth stinks of the shallowness of falsity.
This is a theme I seem to keep coming back to, and what I am getting now is that there still is this element of trying of getting my expression right, constant unconscious censoring of what I think I should say, to whom, when, how etc. But there are moments when expression just happens, and that’s really beautiful. Maybe if it is truly about love, and that is truly where I am at, the body is left to move without any interference, and what I would express is not for me to own, and how and when that happens is not for me to decide or control.
We have accepted to live way beyond the truth we know deep inside, in other words we have accepted to live in constant disguises instead of the simplicity of our own being.
The more I have expressed my truth, the more I become solid in expressing my truth, and the more I start to see and feel the benefit for all involved when truth is expressed.
This blog is music to my heart. “Truth is the same as Love”. I know this through and through, and on reflection I also know that all the times when I have thought people were not ready to hear the truth was because it was not delivered with love. Which means even if all the words were said, it was never the whole truth.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love.” When we hold back from expressing truth in full we invite misunderstanding and misinterpretation to creep in.
It is fascinating to observe how an unspoken truth leads to a very known pattern of behavior that tries to cover up the incredible tension that we feel in the body. Over time we build more ways to avoid being fooled by ourselves.
Yes, and who says that tension is not good for us or that it is to be avoided?
The only reason that awkwardness exists in the face of truth is because we have lived in disregard to our truth for so long. Yet the fact is that we all know truth, deep down love truth as it is the true expression of our Soul, who we are. When we express truth, we feel the fullness and realness of who we are, as such we confirm the light of who we all are in essence. Truth is what unifies us and allows us connects us to every facet of the universe that we are all intrinsically part of.
Beautiful. Truth is inclusive and encompassing of All, we know it as it is within our very essence.
Love this unifying quality of truth that you’ve identified here: truth doesn’t take sides, favour or judge: it is simply there for everyone to see, feel and read, holding everyone as an absolute equal.
Imagine if people actually understood what happens when we don’t express our truth… the world of lies that we live in would collapse like the pack of cards it is.
What a beauty of a blog – as truth is actually way more easy than lies. As it just is. Thank you for expressing clearly what it is to express truth in full.
I find it easy in some instances to be open and present the truth, in full, but not so in others. It is this discrepancy that it is my responsibility to unravel until such time as it is only the full truth that I offer.
I find it excruciating to hold back and yet often do due to wanting to avoid the confrontation I think will ensue. It’s a no win situation and one I am step by baby step, working on letting go of.
I know that if I withhold truth my body feels heavy and a tension, it is there giving me the signals to speak my truth. When I express truth openly I feel lighter in my body and this allows others to have the opportunity to feel the same too.
Beautifully shared Amita – we certainly do wear truth well. Our body comes alive when we freely express truth, offering a reflection to others of our true way of being.
Not expressing the truth has consequences, it is our responsibility to express the truth with love, in whatever way that needs to be expressed, this may mean just observing with love, ‘In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.’
The importance of truthful expression (in our full wake) simply because if not — we will only allow lies, mistruths to be expressed instead.
It seems when we get caught thinking that it’s “my truth and I need to say it or express it” there comes a thing of me not doing something for myself or even someone else. When it comes to truth though isn’t it just one truth? So then if this is true then when you have something to say or express you are just sharing what everyone already has or knows, it’s not ‘yours’ in this way and you aren’t the carrier, more the deliverer. So if you hold back what is already there for us all to know then this again makes it all about you and has little to do with us because we all already know. Life as we have said in many ways for thousands of years is about energy first and so in this way truth is something to feel, we are all connected and so holding back something becomes about 1 and nothing truly to do with truth and us all.
Truth stands head and shoulders above those little white lies that keep us from feeling our essence. So expressing in a Loving way, which is being Truth-full is simply who we are.
Absolutely expressing our truth is simply who we are from our essence. So connecting to this truth and allowing this essence to come out is the only way.
Agreed Amita, our essence or Soul when connected to shares so much Loving Wisdom that we can-but-only-express a deep level of Truth!
It’s so ironic that we hold back because we don’t want to make the other person feel awkward.. but in us holding back, they already feel awkward because they can feel that there’s something that we’re not expressing. When we disconnect from what we can feel by going off into our heads, we can’t feel whether there’s something to say or not. When we keep things simple and stay with what we can feel, there’s either something there for us to say, or not. Trusting that what we have to say is not even for us, but for the other, helps us to get over the fear and allow it out.
Haha, yes indeed Bryony. It’s the ‘elephant in the room’ which everyone tries to ignore and yet feels so uncomfortable about!
Not expressing in full, not expressing our truth for whatever reason can feel quite horrible in our body, and also affect those we are not being truthful with, ‘In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety.’
Whilst it may appear harm-less to hold back it is in truth just as harm-full as a horrific murder or other such crime as the end result is just the same. We allow the lack of love to continue to lack.
There are consequences for us not expressing in full, for holding back the truth, ‘In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety.’
Withholding our truth, or not expressing in full is us not being fully loving with ourself and others.
The body won’t lie it will show us when we are not expressing our truth in some for or another. The body is constantly communicating to us all the time.
This simply means that holding back – simply has no truth and is about comforts, ideals and creation deviating us away from that which is natural to express. You can say that it is a need we put before it, one individual need that we think is more important than what might be actually real and true. I become to know inside my life, my choices and free willl – how much I have been playing this game of allowing the truth to be expressed through me – simply because I thought I had reason enough to put my individual needs before any other. This itself is without judgement – a hurtfull matter, as it is dismissive of the whole and separative to mankind to do so. This is my powerful realization recently – an awareness of my own acts in life – teaching that there is something I need to shift in life – making it about One, the whole of who we all are. Now that is something to start living.
Keeping the peace and not wanting to rock the boat may sound good intentioned, but my experience is that lies, or half truths cause much confusion and more mess than the anticipated fall out that may come from expressing the whole truth. Often the reaction I imagine will come from expressing the truth never actually materialises, and even if it did, at least everyone knows where they stand with the truth.
There is so much investment in the responding that often outweighs the healing that is offered to all when we choose to express what is need in the moment.
One thing I am working on is accepting and living the fact that truth is not ours to hold back. It belongs to all, we are only the vessel that delivers it.
A great point that if we are holding back in any way and not expressing what is there to be shared then we are not expressing truth and we are part of the lie.
This was a real ouch moment for me when I felt the truth in this. Not only are we part of the lie but our body has to deal with the repercussion of holding back.
What I am observing more and more in my bodies movements is when we hold back how we feel, what affect does this then have on our body? There is a very palpable feeling of tension particularly in my chest, neck or throat when I hold back what I feel to share. Showing me that when the truth is there to be shared it is felt and when we surrender and allow this expression to flow there is no right or wrong just the honesty of the moment, but if we hold back we also feel this and stress and tension usually ensues until we surrender to this movement and express how we feel too. Its a great learning to observe our movements and behaviours and uncover who we really are and what holds us back from this.
When we hold back the truth of what we can feel, we then walk around with this unexpressed expression and it feels like poison. Why do we hold back? Because we’re pre-judging how another person will take what we have to say, fearing we’ll upset the apple cart and upset them, instead of trusting that they can take it, and that maybe even their lives will be enhanced by hearing it. Learning that it’s never for us to judge, but always for us to deliver what is there to be said, with absolute truth and love, is a forever deepening process.
I had a situation the other day where I expressed my truth, what I observed was how apologetic I wanted to be when I seen the reaction of the person receiving this. It allowed me to see how I have held back what is in my body to be shared not wanted to deal with the reaction of another.
Having just attended phenomenal and awesome Level 4, Sacred Esoteric Healing course with Serge Benhayon, it has been very easy to feel the destructiveness on the body of holding back our expression, whether in movement, voice or even the quality of thoughts and communication with others.
A gorgeous blog to return to with a powerful reminder to express in full as everyone benefits.
So true Alex, if you want the other to be open, loving and sincere, first we most be that. So simple yet our ingrained habits can have us choosing the safety, which I fell into recently in a new experience and now I am feeling the big ouch from that!
I keep returning to this blog as I feel it is so supportive for me on this moment. What stood out for me today was the line: truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.
‘In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety’. And when we do this on a consistent basis, is it little wonder that we become sick? All that is unexpressed builds up in the body and at some point has to be cleared and released for the body to function optimally and maintain all its systems in good order.
Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share? Definitely, recently in a relationship I held back expressing all I was feeling and now dealing with the consequences of that now with much regret. That said, this experience has also served me to never again hold back my feelings and my truth to another.
I now know, Truth is the same as Love. This is a powerful reminder for me today.
Withholding the truth does cause devastation.. do we allow our silence to do our talking for us, or take the risk, open up and share what we feel? When we look at why we hold back, the potential short-term discomfort doesn’t outweigh the longer-term costs of holding back. We know holding back harms us and others, so why do we still do it? Are we holding onto control and ‘the way we like to do things’ for our own benefit, and is this actually hurting us and others?
What you describe here we have come to see as normal – to measure and evaluate what we are saying and reinterpreting what we originally feel to say -, but as you have observed it is actually not and thus relearning to express our truth again is a blessing for us all.
One of the main regrets on a persons death bed is everything they didn’t say to those they love. Same goes for those who’s loved ones have passed over – what is devastating is what wasn’t said or what was said but not said in truth.
If we hold back the truth others don’t get the opportunity to grow or evolve and when we express in full we offer a powerful reflection that inspires and ignites others to also make this same choice.
When I hold back my truth my whole body contricts and contracts and I feel uncomfortable and tense. It is interesting how much pain and discomfort we are prepared to put up with in an effort to not be in the spotlight.
It is interesting that we fear the reactions of others when we speak our truth and yet we know how very hurting lies are.
It’s true Esther – why fear reaction when we are physically and energetically harming ourselves and another when we hold back truth? Truth is something that unifies us, connects us to a point of knowing that we are more than our physical form – so when people reject that, it is devastating, but that reaction shouldn’t change the way we express and hold others in the knowing that they are part of the same unifying truth.
Hi Amita, although the truth can be at times very confronting and challenging but to me it is always an opportunity for healing and in that never brings hurt, that is only what we do to ourselves when we ignore this truth and dig in our heals to protect the comfort we are in.
It is indeed confusing when we do not speak up and hold back that what lives in us. By not expressing it is not gone, instead it will fester within our bodies and will be the basis for future illness and disease in any way shape or form.
Truth lights the way to the inner heart and brings others together through mutual essence, and also highlights that which is not true for us to feel and know.
‘If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that’. To not live in truth, is to not live in love with all, including thyself.
Truth is a loving response to start the healing process in every situation. When a lie is exposed and if there is a reaction it may well be that a conditional truth, which is a lie has now foundation and thus energetically a conditional truth does not hold water as far as being true energetically. Seeing everything is energy truth has to stand up and be energetically true so we all benefit equally.
If we have an attachment to certain images, an investment in life being a certain way, we may not like the transparency of truth as it exposes our untruths. Truth though is unifying.
We have no right to hold back our expression, so when we do it inevitably feels devastating.
Beautifully said, thank you Linda.
I have had so many experiences where I have held back from fully expressing. It was a way of life. To express in full is something new that I am getting better at. One thing I have observed is that I feel so much better for it. I don’t go away with a feeling of the words being stuck inside of me. The other thing is that people don’t normally react badly or in the way I used to imagine they would. The world still turns, and actually my relationships have improved because of it.
Holding back our truth creates more harm than what we can imagine, as once it is felt in our bodies it is not ours to keep but to express it in full regardless of whether others choose to resist or accept the pull back to our soul.
Yes that is so true, the short term gain of not telling the whole truth for fear of a reaction always leads to further complication! Expression is everything and what we hold back poisons our body.
At times we may believe truth is uncomfortable to feel, hear or express though it is actually very healing and empowering when we openly receive and express truth. It is evolving for both parties.
Absolutely Victoria, truth is very evolving for both parties. I have been having so much of these experiences lately with family, friends and colleagues. What I have noticed as I express truth, the other feels it and they may not like it in that moment, but they have the strength to express where they are at and it gives them the opportunity to release what is going in there body, so an opportunity to evolve.
Lovingly expressing our truth is the most supportive thing we can do for ourselves and anyone else we are interacting with.
Yes, there cannot truly be one without the other…Love and Truth are one.
Thank you for exposing the responsibility we have to express in full ‘so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort’. We have to play our part and express what is there to be said to support the expansion of any relationship and allow the other person to respond from where they are at. Letting go of trying to control outcomes allows us to express from our truth without our fearful editor cutting in and blocking the flow of our truthful expression.
I am certainly learning to express first, rather than concern myself of the outcome first, and then measure my expression to fit around that. Years and years of old habits to undo!
I love how you say that expressing truth can start the process of coming to a common understanding together. Yes, it works both ways and so it can be very awakening when we are open to both expressing truth and receiving it. We can support each other in this way.
Our body shows us clearly through contraction when we don’t openly express. We loose the opportunity for us sharing ourselves in full and getting a reflection of another sharing themselves in full.
What I am more aware of that if I hold back expressing truth my body feels heavy, as soon as I start to express my body feels lighter. So what is not expressed openly causes heaviness in the body, something I was not aware before, which caused pains in my body as I walked with unexpressed within me.
Yes me too, the body is such an honest reflector of our expression or lack of it.
One thing I have come to realise is that not expressing is part of my making others more important than me instead of holding us both in equality. After all it’s good for my wellbeing to simply express how I feel, yet I make another’s comfort more important, so we both miss out on the opportunity to truly connect.
‘We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.’ And this comes from not choosing to connect, connect with ourselves and make this our foundation and thus not able to connect and open up to others. To be intimate and fragile asks for letting people in and letting yourself out, I know this a joy to be and I am choosing to live this more and more by discarding ingrained behaviours like holding back and hiding etc.
not only is it hard when we hold back truth, or love or joy, but in fact the common human life that is sold supports this, and is made to look like that pleasures come in forms of DVD’s. sales, glorious food and special times with the ones we love (which is a small group). This falls far short of the expression of our Soul, which is made to be in everything we do, serving all to see the same.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love. ” This sentence stood out for me today We are not taught this – that harmony, stillness, joy, truth and love are all facets of God and we are sparks of God. However knowing and living this are two different things.
This time by reading your blog I was get caught by the line about that ‘we will miss out on intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full’. And I am getting a real body feeling of how it is to open up to another and let the other feel and see everything, to truly become transparent and also aware about what is going on in the other. This is so beautiful and a fragile feeling. But the intimacy we are all longing for is also something we protect us from – why? The hurts we try to avoid can not be healed by control and more protection screens. Fear is not a good advisor to come closer together. But where does the fear coming from? If I am strongly connected to who I am and belong to, I know what is going on and therefore there is no insecurity. So if I feel anxiety comes up – I can connect deeper to my inner stillness and with that: connecting to all, because we are all connected via our stillness. So in fact my connection to mankind, my going for intimacy gives me the strength and power to let my hurts heal and go. That is the opposite of how I ‘normally’ think it works….
Expressing the truth is what is needed in every situation, but I also realise that sometimes it is not needed to be communicated verbally as it is not fully part of my Livingness and therefore would be felt as a love-less directive.
Absolutely Sandra, sometimes it is true to say nothing, which serves the person and in these situations I have honoured my self through a nomination of what could have been said. Then I feel everyone would be in the wisdom of their inner-most because nothing has been imposed when something needs not be said. Every situation is different and must be understood for the truth of what to say and when to say something.
This is something that keeps coming up for me. And one of my reasons for not expressing in full is that I don’t always trust what I am feeling to be true and I pre-judge my expression to be judgmental. And because those situations are not rare, I already kind of set myself up for possible another case of ‘failure’ in expression, and there comes tension in my body even before I say anything, trying to ‘fix’ my expression issue. I can now feel how it is simply about not being in my essence to begin with for my true essence knows and is the truth and can only express with love.
Whenever we hold back, the effect can be felt as a contraction in our body. A tightening and tensing of certain areas that we don’t like to feel and hence retreat into the mind and ignore what our body is saying.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.” So true. We have so many pictures of what love is and most of them include being always nice and sweet yet that is not all that love is and this does not mean to hold something that is true and needs to be said back. And with expressing truth it is important to express it in a way that is loving and that the person can understand.
Truth = Love ♥️
Even when its uncomfortable, so true, thanks for sharing/ expressing!
Great point Laura, when we hold back the truth we effectively separate from love – ouch!
Expressing in truth is powerful and we can increase the volume of this by expressing even more when we bring understanding and the grace to allow another person just to be.
I have always felt that when we hold back from sharing and expressing the truth, it not only delays the inevitable process of growth and understanding but it adds unnecessary staring on our beloved bodies too. The one question I love to ponder is why do we hold back when we have so much to share and express? It not only deepens our relationships but makes our bodies feel oh so lovely too.
Truth is something that is ontologically and energetically different from right and wrong, It dissolves any tension immediately. Yet, sometimes we choose to hold on to the tension that truth is called to dissolve. This happens when we assess whether is right or wrong to speak truth, that is, when we try to bring truth into the right and wrong realm; a realm it does not belong to.
How common is it to hold back so we don’t hurt someone’s feelings? I’ve done it my whole life, and found out the hard way that this is not only untrue, but it also robs the other person of their opportunity to grow and evolve. Ultimately its a rather selfish thing to do, and we do it because it makes us more comfortable.
“Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?” yes when we hold back expression our truth we hold others back too. When we speak our truth with our connection, we inspire others to speak the truth too.
It is worth noting too – Expression is not just words, but in every moment of our living way.
It interesting to observe how holding back our truth affects not only ourselves and our bodies but it also greatly effects the other person. We are shutting down our connection to our truth, and our openness to connect with another in truth. We then miss out on deepening our connection to Love for ourselves and each other, the opportunity to learn and evolve, and as such the relationship to grow. The gift of expressing the truth is one that is not about being ‘nice’ or about making someone ‘feel good’, as the truth when expressed from the heart is the truth of who we all are in essence. It is the truth of Love.
I can relate to the anxiety in my body from not expressing in full, whether it be verbally, physical movements or how I dress, do my hair etc. Any form of holding back the real me, and not letting people in.
Accepting the reality that I can at least bring honesty to most situations is my stepping stone to claiming and honouring the truth.
When we hold back truth we create a tension in the body. It is a tension that is constantly held until a moment is offered for us to express what needs to be said lovingly. I have often felt as to whether it was my place to speak up thinking it would be better it coming from another but when I am connected to me and steady in my livingness sometimes no matter who it is, it is me to deliver it. This is work in progress as I develop the relationship with myself.
I’ve had this same feeling Caroline. I now realise that if I felt it then of course it was for me to say… sometimes another will still say it, then I can feel regret.
Truth is always deeply felt if not consciously known – a truth for the ages and one we all know. It’s habitual to hold back I often find especially when I make it about me and my comfort (fitting in, being nice or liked) rather than what is there to be said. I feel very clearly in your sharing that in those scenarios what I am holding back is me and the connection and intimacy I could share with another, I am holding back my love.
I have learned that holding back on my expression is like putting a lid on a steamer, it builds up an inner pressure that leads to uncomfortable feelings in our body and eventually to illness and disease. We are designed to express in full and not to keep in that what is given through heaven for us to grow and expand from.
I like how you describe what happened when you held back what was there to express, as it shows that the ‘negative’ thoughts come in afterwards, after we have not expressed our truth. It is like we decide to not stand in our fullness and then this part, that is not filled with our fullness/truth, is immediately filled with thoughts of doubt or the likes.
When we hold back the truth from someone – it’s like we are saying that they are not worth knowing the truth. I feel like it hurts both parties and causes an element of rejection. Speaking the truth allows everyone to come to the same point, it equalises us because we all have a relationship with it deep down.
I know if I withhold the truth it feels heavy in my body, like a twisted knot in my stomach. There has been many occasions where I haven’t told the truth or the full truth and in this I feel the other person knew anyway when I wasn’t being truthful. Even though I thought I was getting away with something it felt like the lie carried with me in my body where ever I went.
‘… devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.’ I have not always allowed myself to fully feel this, while in fact always feeling it, and I know this as I’ve been in many situations where I felt a truth and did not fully express it and in order not to feel that devastation I numbed myself, through drama, over-eating or whatever distraction served the purpose. All to not feel the devastation of having reneged on truth.
Thank you for your comment Monica. It gives me a clearer understanding that whenever I hold back from expressing truth there are consequences; I can either feel the devastation from not expressing or I can bury it which leads to further complication where I create something to distract me from feeling the withholding of love that was to be expressed in the first place.
As I come back to this blog I feel the frustration of not having moved forward with my expression since last reading. I know so deeply important it is for Humanity and myself
The truth is indeed there to be expressed, but i feel it needs getting used to, that the truth doesn’t always crest comfortable situations. But knowing that truth is love brings it back to the simplicity of living life, love brings us true joy, even when life isn’t always comfortable.
We all know truth. I love truth. Truth is love and when another expresses truth and I can feel the discomfort in my body I know it is the greatest act of love they have presented before me in that moment.
When I read the word “devastation”, it really resonated with exactly how I feel when I actually stop and look at the level to which I cap and distort my expression… super devastating
Curious to see how things work out. Yesterday, unable to respond to a communication received`(I didn’t know how to or ‘lost for words’) I didn’t force it but stayed with space. This morning, I woke up, felt the truth of the situation and found a form of expression that said it all very simply. The outcome is irrelevant, expression of truth everything.
If we make everything that’s there to express “ours” we complicate something simple – all we need to do is feel the truth and deliver with love. And, like a postman delivering letters, we don’t need to rely on how people react to the letter, we just deliver and be the love that we are. Whether they accept it or they don’t is not our business. If we are invested in others we need to ask why, as opposed to being with the truth.
Relationships can feel empty and shallow at times, and it makes sense because if I hold back my full truth then the opportunities for an authentic connection and all the fragility and raw honesty that can come from that are not present. I can see that worrying about upsetting people is really secondary to the deep misery of not truly connection to others, living behind a mask.
Such a good point Sarah, and I totally agree. Something I very much need to practice as I can be guilty of holding back to avoid another person feeling something that might be less than pleasant. But as you say, that could be the very thing they need to hear in order to better support their own expression.
Holding back the truth supports no one, we just all need to start practicing speaking up, even if it does go against all that we were taught.
That truth itself has a resonance that is palpable is something that we all innately know, and yet for most, have to rediscover, re-awakening the senses that can actually feel this.
Recently I chose to go full circle in getting to the truth from saying ‘No’ to something because of hurts held in my body to saying ‘yes’ to that what was true all along. It was an uncomfortable process but step by step I shared how I was feeling along the way slipping up at times. The point I am making is there is no such thing as perfection. Speaking up has been a big one for me but making life about love and truth, it then becomes difficult to hold back from expressing what is there to be expressed.
It’s a great point Caroline, if we are waiting to be perfect before we begin to express our truth we will be waiting a long time!
Every opportunity to express is golden – I love the simplicity of how you’ve put this, Adele. Often I’ll put a conversation off because I’m worried of how the other person will respond, but what I’ve found, more often than not, is that the conversation has opened up quite naturally, just by me being me, and keeping it simple, without investment, expectation or judgment of how the other person might respond.
In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time. I absolutely agree, and it is our bodies that feel the impact and assault.
‘ I now know, Truth is the same as Love’ For such a long time I was ignorant to this truth. Expressing our truth sets us free, for it is our human design to express and share our love.
To me, to accept that we are vessels of expression in which we either express love or that what is not love based on the choice we have made, is the way to go. We then can find that holding back in that what we feel to express perhaps is not loving at all.
‘The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.’ This captures very much what we all know is true and how we do know truth, we just avoid it, often to be liked or not stand out and yet always ultimately truth will out, and it’s up to us whether we live it now or later.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.” Absolutely if we are holding back and not expressing truth we are not truly being love, as with love there is no truth and with truth there is no love, they go hand in hand.
When the truth is withheld the body suffers the consequences and we all miss out.
Truth is considered taboo by many now days as we have become accustomed to the fear and back lash that comes with speaking up. When we build relationships with others and show that our way of living is about honesty, no perfection and willingness to listen there is an opportunity to feel less anxious and worried about reactions.
Too many of us play the game of holding back to not step on someone else toes, making silent agreements with each other to not cross a certain line the might challenge the status quo. But as you share we keep each other small in that way never allowing the full bloom.
And it is these silent agreements with each other that keep us all prisoners, keep us in comfort and in ignorance of our true and natural essence, which is to hold each other in the love that abounds all around us.
Expressing our truth in full inspires others to do the same.
Holding back expressing what we have felt to be true is harming to us, but also for others who have missed out on an otherwise truth that was there for them equally.
Not expressing what needs to be said when it needs to be said is like swallowing a poison. In turn this feeds the vicious circle of muting yourself and not wanting to speak up all the more which creates many an issue for us that does not need to be experienced both internally in our bodies, and externally in our lives.
On the other side is to be offered truth lovingly and know how that feels. Sometimes the only way to support another is to be more aware of their actions and take responsibility. I have experienced this recently and feel the truth offered helped me to self-reflect and reach a deeper understanding of what happened and why. It helps to not have any attachment to anything that might have been, but to simply surrender to what is offered. When I did this I saw truth lovingly given and it offered an opportunity for me to stop and simply rest.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love.” And that to me is so important to understand, so even being a little harsh with someone by telling the truth as how I sense it, is is an act of love as with that I do stop someone from living a lie and with that hurting themselves.
When we hold ourselves back and don’t express ourselves in full we all miss out on the potential of what could be shared to inspire all others.
I love where you describe the inner conflict after you’ve held back the truth – this is a spot on description – when we hold back the truth it actually creates a turmoil inside us. It’s so much simpler and less harming to everyone involved to just express what needs to be expressed.
‘I now have the understanding that it is so important to express in full so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort.’ I know for myself I was one of trying to be in harmony with everybody else but this was not true harmony as a lot was not spoken about to keep it al quiet and nice. There is a dismissiveness in this pattern is what I see now, we are all worth the truth, discomfortable or not. That’s what I am learning to express what I feel inside and to not let it slip away for the sake of not rocking the boat.
And we can actually get used to feeling what its like to express with all of us, and once this is truly embodied, we will never look back to configuring our words for others.
I think we hold back truth because we don’t think people can cope, a perfect example is letting a child know there is no Santa, yet it is very presumptuous and quite condescending to think you know how another person with feel, cope or react. It doesn’t offer the other person the space to respond as they see fit…at any age.
I can feel the heaviness in my body from consistently shying away from expressing my truth. I also sense how much I make this into a thing to beat myself with as I know it’s actually all so simple and easy…I use the holding back to make issues in my life, and to make myself feel down. It’s amazing to get that kind of support from your expression here, so thank you for not holding back. It’s an inspiration as I appreciate more now through constant expression comes great healing.
What I’ve noticed recently, is holding back the truth when you sense something is amiss or not quite right can actually lead to real damage for someone. The truth is there to be expressed, always in love and support of another, not held and contained within. That little piece of truth might mean everything for that person.
What I have been noticing lately is that I may say many words in my attempt to express myself, but sometimes there’s still things left unsaid. It is horrible to feel these residues in my body. And this puts me in anticipation of the next opportunity, the next encounter with the same individuals to somehow try to complete what I have still got to say, and this has been causing anxiousness and I am finding myself not really being present, so in the end creating further opening for me not to be able to express in full.
The truth is not ours to keep or bend or distort but ours to know and share and live equally.
Yes Susie, by avoiding to express the full truth we are withholding one another from evolving to that deeper level that is there for each and everyone of us to return back to. It feels like we have an arrangement with one another to not go there as we have invested too much in the self created world which is void of love but is rewarding us in one way or another with the pleasures we have created for ourselves.
Holding back, calibrating what can be said and what cannot be said is not a very healthy thing to do, not for one’s body nor our relationships and not for the wellbeing of us as a community, but it is such a common and normal thing to do, which reveals a lot about where we are at as a society.
Holding back the truth only delays us moving forward. We can either move freely from our expression and what is there to be shared in that moment like a rabbit or delay what we feel from fear of being judged or fear of reaction and sink back into our shells like a turtle. Either way we will still get to our desired destination, because in the end truth will always come home strong.
I have come to realize that there is no dimmer switch to the truth. We are either expressing from our essence or not. The light is on / or off. No mistake – any variation – The light is off.
Expression in full includes the way we move, speak, walk and interact with the world. Expression is EVERY thing.
Expressing in full is not something we have been willing to do as a society. We fear rejection and making waves. And yet the more love we connect to within ourselves the more we know that we have a responsibility to express in full.
Expressing truth may be difficult and awkward at times, especially if you have played the nice and don’t create waves, game, it is a great opportunity for growth and an opening up share a deepening in the relationship.
Reading this blog again, I can feel the extent of disconnection I have allowed in myself by choosing not to express myself truth-fully over life times. Everything is an expression, what we say, the way we move our body – it is not something I only activate and engage when it suits me, it is happening ceaselessly. Just like having a healthy heart muscle to keep it pumping, this expression muscle of mine needs to be looked after, and what I am feeling is the result of this neglect over the years that has taken away the freedom and spontaneity of joy-full expression. Yet, my body has never stopped communicating all this time, and is the re-entry point for me.
Good point about Santa Claus, of course when children and young people find out this isn’t true but for years have been told it is, there is bound to be issues of trust. How amazing would the world be if it was only based on truth.
I feel that I’ve held back because I don’t want to rock the boat and upset others because of the possible outcome of what another may feel. I feel that its our responsibility to live truth-fully then let allow others to adjust to the way we are living. Living in truth can be a powerful reflection for all to see.
‘In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety.’ I read this sentence over and over a few times before reading on. I have been there myself and could really relate to the enormity of what these words mean when they descend on us in this way. What strikes me particularly is the amount of emotion, mental activity and self-talk that we put ourselves through when we don’t speak the full truth when we have the opportunity. It’s as though in the holding back we release a commensurate level of emotion in whatever form(s) that then run their course, ruin our hour, day or week and really take a stranglehold on our equilibrium, all the while the other person being none the wiser of our internal turmoil and also the lesser for our lack of truth.
So very true Cathy, I can feel that the quality of the way I feel lessens if I don’t express the truth in full. This is a real healing for me as I realise how much by not fully expressing creates feelings in my body that are not so great. The more I express the more natural my body feels in expression.
The other day I had a funny kind of day. It’s not as if I deliberately didn’t speak truth, I just fell into a conversation that was a learned way of speaking and getting along. It was not particularly real. I was on my best behaviour. It was not as if I suppressed any great truths that came up to be said, it was more like I didn’t allow myself to feel anything. I had let my mind take over. I felt this as a dissatisfaction within me. Afterwards I realised what had happened and how awful this felt in my body. So, the key for me is to stay present in my body, to surrender to truth as it comes rather than to go into a default way of talking because this holds a lot of protection and doesn’t let anyone in. There is opportunity for real connection and growth every day and it doesn’t need to be a big conversation or a big truth, just a surrender to what is real.
” devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.” I can feel the power of truth in this sentence as holding back in any way hinders and stunts our evolution.
I love this Linda, it brings it back to feeling our worth and then walking and expressing in all that we are.
What you have said Joshua is absolute truth, what comes through us is not ours to hold back, but we live as if it is our right to hold back the voce of God. This feels absurd when put this way.
I can relate to this Kim and I’ve found that in that holding back there can be a tension that builds in the body so that we when do finally express, even if it’s truth-full, it can often come loaded with the frustration from the previous lack of expression and this can be where the danger lay for the reaction we may then receive back is sometimes not because a truth has been expressed but that the frustration in our expression is felt by another.
You just explained my life at the moment Deborah, I’m now in the thick of feeling the repercussions of holding back and what damage it has done. And how when I finally started expressing it was loaded with eons of unexpressed stuff. Not very loving to the person the other end. I’m now seeing how by holding back for so long, I held another back by not continually offering all the love I am. A very painful lesson that I’m still feeling and learning from.
I can relate to this Deborah. It was only yesterday that I was expressing with someone with whom I haven’t always expressed openly with. Because I hadn’t expressed openly with this person for a while there was a build up of tension that caused my body to shake as it was expressing what needed to be said. This is a reminder for me to express in every moment I feel to so it doesn’t store in my body and create wall between myself and others.
When we’re expressing truth it’s never just for us but for all and so what you’re saying here makes sense Adele – to keep expressing and allowing whatever truth to come through by making sure we’re not in the way.
What if our voice and what we had to say was not just for us but actually for another. If something comes to us to express and it is truly coming from our soul then it is not for us to hold back as it is for all
Absolutely Joshua,when we honour our connection and trust what is there to be expressed we understand that is not “ours” but it is given to us to share with all.
The first line of your comment Adele Leung hit home. There is nothing normal about expressing through truth and love hence why it is held back by so many.
I have held back much in the past by not wanting to say the wrong thing and get a reaction, or not wanting to look unkind or unloving. I realise now I had totally deceived myself, and that by expressing what is true, not holding back, a moment of evolution can be offered with greater love and understanding.
Not holding back is a great medicine for ourselves! It literally blows out all doubt, fear and creates clarity between people and a topic.
Well said Harry, it’s time I start upping my Meds as my body is in need, not to mention the rest of humanity.
I always feel the truth in every situation and have come to realize that if I am not living in a loving and honoring way with myself that when I go to express the truth it does not come with the love and understanding that is required. This is a painful and uncomfortable situation because the truth lays inside me like a bomb exploded and dying to come out, but if I express it not in a way that is truly holding of the other then it comes like a machine gun at them, no matter how hard I try for it not to be like this. The key is that trying doesn’t work and living is what actually works. Starting with being fragile and feeling my body and feeling when there is more truth for me to be aware of for a personal situation of something I am currently experiencing. Then surrendering and allowing myself to feel the truth and being super understanding, loving and supportive with myself to come to this new truth and put into place any changes that are needed, with no expectation and judgment. When I am living like this with myself then there is an open doorway to express with others in a way that is super loving and not imposing or judgmental.
I imagine that we don’t have to go around telling everyone what we think of them. Truth is not an opinion, it is something that comes up to be said or a way to express however we feel to, something that deepens our relationship with each other and ultimately supports us and them to appreciate how amazing we are.
I know what it is like when I hold back and not fully express the truth, it sends me in to anxiousness and my mind goes into it’s mulling, trying to justify why it was ok to hold back. I now know that speaking my truth, though it may be uncomfortable, is a wonderful opportunity for us to come to a deeper understanding with each other as we evolve.
What an awesome feeling you do get when you do express from truth in full
I also find it interesting that holding back our expression can be in the way we move – it doesn’t necessarily have to be the words we express – to allow the fullness of our truth.
Sometimes the greatest truth can come in silence and observation – with understanding and allowing another space.
I love what you are offering here, Adele. I can feel your total commitment to expressing truth-fully. Very inspiring. Thank you, Adele.
Yes Rosanna, even though the Truth may be somewhat uncomfortable to feel, this is minute to feel compared to being in the separation from Truth.
I love the use of ‘minute’ here Chris as it brought the confirmation that the uncomfortable feeling of being exposed in the short term is well worth the everlasting learning that can come from it.
Yes Brendan, this is so true, I find a lot of the time the reaction is different from or not even there from what i expected.
I can relate to giving a watered down version. For me i’ve always avoided conflict, so I feel to keep things dulled down for another is just that, the avoidance of what it may bring up and this is also the avoidance of responsibility.
What I am leaning now is that feeling and expressing truth can sometimes make me feel isolated, and want to go into self-doubt, but I see the whole thing is a set-up to stop me from ever expressing truth. I am not going to let that happen.
I’ve often looked back at situations and wondered why I didn’t simply say what was there to be said? Why didn’t I just express? What was so scary? It is devastating to continue holding back and as a society we do it for comfort. It is the comfort in not having to follow through on something so our day goes the way we control it. You’re right Kathryn, we just need to surrender to what is there to be expressed.
‘Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?’ and when we dare to simply surrender and just say it like it is… it unlocks a well of expression from us both. Pure Magic.. and much needed to deepen our relationships 🙂 🙂
What is being revealed here is profound … That we actually harm ourselves when we don’t express our truth. This simple powerful message in itself contains such a message that if understood and adopted, the healing for humanity would be enormous.
Yes deborahmckay, this point of destroying trust is an important one, and highlights to me yet again how important it is that we take responsibility for our expression wherever we are and regardless of who we are with.
I am learning not to have investment in how what I am going to say would be received. It’s interesting to observe how holding back takes place in various forms, sometimes it could be in words spoken, but it could be a delay or lost moment – whatever that is, it is love that is being held back – that I need to remember.
I could so relate to the part about holding back truth for short-term gain (for fear of upsetting someone etc.) and have experienced this myself many times over, – however what I’ve come to realise is that even the short-term gain (if I’m truly honest) never feels that great and when something doesn’t feel that great, I can now feel how it can be a great reflection that the truth was not fully expressed, providing me with another opportunity to express in full without holding back!
I agree Angela holding back the truth for short term gain doesn’t feel great because we do know that we are avoiding the truth and that eventually we will have to be confronted with it so all we are really doing is delaying what needs to be said.
It is a very good reminder to go to the feeling as a child being lied to about Santa Claus to know it is always healing to speak truth.
Having just completed an expression workshop with Serge Benhayon I am blown away by the evolution on offer when we express without regret, judgment or justification. When we allow what is already there to be connected to and expressed, we are witnessing true magic in communication. For me, it felt amazing to know that the truth and what comes through is not mine but for everyone.
Rachel this is so true. The truth is for us all to feel and share. Getting ourselves out of the way to simply express is pure magic.
Beautiful Rachel what you have shared is gold, the truth is not ours to keep it is for everyone – there is a level of responsibility we have to humanity to express the truth that inspires and supports others to also express in full.
Truth is simple and unimposing. Though it might cause reactions if people are not prepared to see it or it triggers hurts and patterns, truth is the greatest gift we can make. By expressing our truth in full, we offer others the choice to feel inspired and do the same.
Truly loving means not taking the way that will not challenge you or the other, but speaking out the truth. If we express in full and with love, no topic is too challenging to handle.
Truth is the same as love. Who am I to decide who gets truth and who doesn’t? If something comes up to be said in truth, perhaps consider that we all belong to the universe, we are part of the rhythm of the universe and if that truth comes through us it needs to be expressed as part of that rhythm.
I once lived on the edge of a forest and had a pair of owls take up residence in the tree outside my window. They hatched 2 babies that were very cute. I loved that they were there. One day a huge commotion with much screeching came from the yard and I was in time to see a large black hawk dive past the chicks and knock them to the ground. I tried to save them but couldn’t. In pondering on it I realised that the hawk was feeding its babies and the Owls caught babies of other animals to feed theirs. Who was I to decide who lives and who doesn’t? The truth of this is that we are a part of a large picture and sometimes to cut to the truth is painful and swift and necessary.
Wow Amanda what powerful truth you present here is, “painful and swift and necessary.”
I recently had an experience where I avoided speaking the whole truth and the pain and complication it caused was shocking. It is an old habit of avoidance that doesn’t work for me anymore and I’m left to ponder why I continue with this illogical behaviour that hurts others, especially those closest to me.
I’ve found these experiences uncomfortable as well hartann60 – and have observed that sometimes what we hold back not only has short term consequences but can be felt for years / decades after… What I have also observed is that when we ‘don’t’ hold back in expressing truth, – and even though it may at times be uncomfortable to do so, – it’s often no where near as uncomfortable as we imagine!
Im finding its more uncomfortable to not express and have to hold something that is unsaid in my body rather than express in full. Sure it may be uncomfortable at first but when its out I don’t feel it being held in my body any more. This is a work in progress for me, not perfect but the more I express the easier it becomes.
I love the simple truth that truth and love are one and the same when expressed in full
‘If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.’ For a lot of my life I have also separated truth from love and believed that telling the truth would not be loving and therefore held back expressing the truth. This has always left me feeling less and now, I see, that it has also been a disservice to others, leaving us all missing the truth and the love that that inevitably brings. Of course if we bring any emotion with the truth it no longer can bring love because we have contaminated truth with emotion and it is no longer true.
Withholding truth is something we all do – more or less. The way out of this is not to limit ourselves even more and creating our own prison, but to start to change and express honestly and then truthfully.
“I was worried about how the other person might respond”. This can be what holds back expression. The backlash of truth can be quite a force or it unsettles even our own foundation, causing an uncomfortable shift, which is a great thing as it breaks up the comfort that we live in.
If I wonder about what will happen after I expressed truth and become fearful about it – I am already in an ‘untruthful’ state of being, I am not in love anymore. Otherwise I would know that what I bring (Love) would not have any investment in the outcome. If I need a positive response from someone – I am in a need and so can’t express truth or love, because I am not connected to my source in this moment.
I can relate to the “internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence and feeling of frustration and anxiety” when I hold the truth of me back.
True Matthew brown, a full reflection offers a full healing
Beautiful expressed Donna Gianniotis
It is beautiful that you have brought this up Vanessa McHardy, because in situations like this we can also express how it feels when people hold back and point out the responsibility we all have to express what is felt in the moment because it contributes to a meeting or a course etc.
True. Holding back expression is to choose comfort before Love.
Yes. Looks like we did become very comfortable with being uncomfortable and we find ourselves going round and round – repeating what did become comfortable – why? Just to avoid responsibility. We look at responsibility as being heavy and burdensome, but that is an illusion, created from us so we can avoid it. In truth responsibility is a grace, giving us space and glory. Time to bring some truth back to this word and meaning.
Thank you for this expression Victoria, especially for the word ‘withhold’. Truth is given to us to serve us all. We do not own it, it comes through us as a healing gift for someone. If we hold that back by not expressing what is given to us – we withhold truth, withhold healing and withhold evolving. It is in fact a painful action, what has an impact on all of us.
Well said Sandra. Truth is not owned, it is everyone’s.
Hence the importance of truly claiming and honouring the truth we know through sharing it – in whatever way it is there for us to express. The world is starved of ‘true truth’, the truth that unifies us all. One need only look to the way Serge Benhayon lives his life and expresses truth – even when it can make others uncomfortable – to see that there IS another way to our withholding and subterfuge. Truth can be lived and expressed in full.
To see that it is possible to live truthful & with full integrity is challenging and uncomfortable for all who do choose the other way off course…but it is also a big GRACE for us all – if conceded or not.
Yes, agreed Sandra. If someone reacts to the truth another lives and expresses, because it calls to account where truth has been denied and avoided in one’s own life, then that is indeed a blessing. For by virtue of the reaction itself, truth must indeed have been felt.
We all have some level of reaction when our comfortable but self-deceitful ways are exposed (from our wilfulness to eat something that’s not supportive of our health and digestion, to any larger-scale lie we may be living..). It’s not always ‘pretty’, but without those wiling to honour truth and live with integrity and love in a way that considers all, we would surely be far more lost than the state in which we find ourselves.
What is ‘not always pretty’ is the thing we created and put in the way. To face it on our way back to who we truly are is taking responsibility about what we created in the first place – to shy away from it is to try to avoid being accountable and staying in a comfort-zone. But ‘staying’ is not really available for us. We are pulled back to who we truly are = movement and to delay this way is going against it – also = movement. So it becomes that our ‘comfort-zone’ is no longer comfortable at all, because our movements against truth have to become more hard, more hurtful with every lovely expression on earth which is reflecting our truth and strengthen the pull to it.
A good starting point here is to express but in the same way to be open that the expression may come form a reaction and to embrace if this is reflected by the other party. This allows realizations and evolving for all involved.
Well said Jonathan, clearly from someone who feels and understands this process of ‘accumulative damage’ in the body acutely. We know what hurts us – the withholding of love, of truth, of the depth of all that we feel and know… and yet we have by and large, lived an existence of self-torture and harm in our holding back.
I can still yet feel a great power of love and truth within me yet to fully express itself, but am deeply appreciative of how far I’ve come from my own holding back, and the integral part the work of Universal Medicine has played and plays in inspiring the claiming of a full and unhindered expression in life.
Serge Benhayon, without doubt, is the greatest living example I know of living in such a way. Truth, love, the lot expressed – without hindrance and embracing of all. Absolutely amazing to know him and be so deeply inspired every single day. The way forward is well and truly set.
Well said Adam. If we have held back, then when things are first given the space to actually express, they rarely come out without some ‘charge’ or emotional loading. And so we learn, if we are willing, to take yet deeper responsibility and also hold each other in a depth of understanding that ‘gets this’. That even if someone is emotional or blaming, how are we? Need we react personally?
Undoubtedly none of this will be a ‘perfect process’, but in it, we all have the opportunity to deepen in dealing with our own reactions, and thus the hurts still harboured at some level that lead us to react.
We have a great responsibility in all of our expression – not to be perfect, but to do our best, and not fuel the cycles of conflict that have repeatedly dogged humanity through the ages, and have got us nowhere in terms of returning to the greatness of love we all actually hold.
To be willing to face our hurts on any levels they may show themselves, is indispensable – as we go to the root cause of all separation, conflict and war. This is our responsiblity.
Absolutely Sonja. We underplay the role of seemingly ‘minor’ conflict in its contribution to how our societies and indeed nations relate to each other.
Personal responsibility – without perfection, yet with a willingness to deal with what is there for us to deal with – is deeply needed that we may actually build true love and understanding with each other at a fundamental level.
I agree Adam, it has taken me quite a while to begin to feel the truth and express what comes up – my early efforts have felt ‘clumsy’ and awkward. Humanity has lost its way of feeling what is true and thus expressing it with love. What I have come to know is that by connecting to my innermost first and knowing that truly, when something comes up to be said then it is important to have a go and not hold back.
“In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety. A lot of thoughts came up about what was right and wrong”. Expressing the truth in full not only waves you all of this; it also confirms your divinity in every particle.
expressing ‘confirms your divinity in every particle.’, and that feels so amazing….true love.
“The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.” If we would allow ourselves to be honest we would know that this is true and that we are able to feel this truth since day one on earth.
I also remember feeling deeply disappointed and very much let down as a child when I realised that adults were not fully expressing and telling the truth; I actually learnt to not ask questions anymore and that made me feel very much alone and like I didn’t belong..
Great point Gabriele – we should never stop question everything. There is another way to be and by giving up questioning the ‘traditional’ we give up on us and all.
I agree, it might feel safe or relief only until the body has had enough of accumulating poison and breaks down. Expressing our truth creates space in our bodies for more vitality and harmony within,
I agree Adam, expressing form a reaction or emotion does not cut it as even if said with nice words and a smile if it coming from a hurt it won’t be healing. Healing occurs when we allow ourselves to express from the connection within ourselves, so it is the quality and so much the words.
I so agree, beautifully expressed Marion.
You cannot ever escape that feeling of living with the could of, should of questioning from within – it just says next time you will get another opportunity – we can say whoops at this point or bury what we do not want to have to feel- that holding back our truth supports no one.
I am learning so much to do with expression and how I can express more and how I have been holding back in expressing for a very long time. I have just been talking with friends about letting people in and feel this goes hand in hand with expression. I feel if we let people in first then we are more likely to express in full instead of holding back and worrying about what they think of us.
When I read your comment Vicky it resonated very loudly and clearly this is exactly the way I feel now that a ‘thick wall’ of separation that is built between one person and another. Not ‘letting people in’ – not trusting ourselves or others to just be in their fullness and express freely – holding back on a beautiful gift.
In holding back our truth does not allow ourselves to be seen. How can we let people know us if they don’t know what we feel to say or share? Are we then shutting out the world by holding ourselves back?
Like this Natalie, can deeply relate
Yes Brendan, we have expectations that another will react so we set it up to keep us from not expressing truth, therefore remaining small. The cycle keeps presenting itself until there comes a point when we say enough’s enough.
When truth is exposed, it can be very uncomfortable and often ignored but when felt and in doing so letting go of pride, we evolve. There have been many times when I have felt extremely uncomfortable when I have been called out because I have not been living in truth to myself and therefore to others around me, but in that moment I have come to realise that to surrender to my body is key as there is no point in fighting it.
There is such an awesome feeling that is felt in the body when you call ‘a spade a spade’ . Not as an aggressive proving a point way, truth doesn’t need that carriage of delivery, it just is or isn’t. This feeling is noticeable when there has been a pattern or history of not speaking up and letting things slide, but to express out how you feel really is true medicine for the body.
This is so true johannebrown17. I know i am still unfolding in this area but it truly is so powerful.
It all starts with us to speak the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. As you said if we don’t speak the truth – “it is possible that the other person then missed the opportunity to connect to and express in full what they felt to share.
It has been a great revelation for me to realise that when I hold back from expressing my truth when I am fearful of the outcome that the other person is missing out. There have now been a number of occasions where I expressed what I am feeling when previously I would have held back and the outcome has been illuminating for both of us. At the time I found it quite surprising and with every occasion my trust in sharing what I am truly feeling increases.
This short-term-reliefs lead us to a form of existence instead of a vital being alive. So if that is worth to do so depends on our choices to be satisfied with less or not. This choice gives as well a reflection on our state of lived responsibility and Integrity.
Yes Adam, truth expressed with love is healing.
The truth belongs to all of us, when we share it we are sharing something we all equally know. What we often expose is why we are choosing not to live with that truth.
Actually, not saying the truth is very hard hitting in that the force that holds someone continues to incarcerate. When truth is spoken it often creates a stop moment for the listener, a moment of stillness, true connection and light – truth therefore is not hard hitting, it’s gentle and healing for the person but it hits hard at deceit and all that is untrue. When we hold back the truth we have to ask ourselves, “What do we truly want for people?”
The truth may be the last thing you wish to hear at times because it vilifies the way we have been living.
..but also the only way to get out of this illusion and abuse. So it is a choice: pride or truth.
I feel you are speaking on behalf of almost everyone on the planet Penelope!
It’s true Tamara! In my experience there are not many people who do not experience this in some way or another at times. It is almost like a disease that has infected many – the inability to express truth in full out of fear. The cure is simple but not necessarily easy – make everything about love and from that love it is impossible to not express truth as the expression of truth is indeed truly loving another.
This is what so many of us do. ‘ I held back because I was worried about how the other person might respond.’ And yet when someone holds back we feel like they are not truly sharing themselves with us don’t we? We feel a loss and we do not feel the love that is there to be expressed.
And why are we so afraid of the response? Rejection? Anger? Exposing the other? We cower and contract and hold back the very thing that will bring us closer… the truth.
Yes kathrynfortuna, well said and what I am finding out is that there are many hurts coming to the surface as to why I don’t express truth in full. Only recently I got to feel more deeply rejection and how this can hold me back from expressing. Only when we are absolutely honest with ourselves and call out and heal our hurts, truth in full can be expressed.
I agree Caroline, healing our hurts is important, My experience is the more I express truth the more chance I give my hurts to heal.
As long as we hold back what is true we hold back the love that we are.
‘In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.’ And the devastation is felt by all.
Great points Adam and I agree – saying something just to get it off our chest so to speak isn’t healing; if we say something from a hurt or emotion that’s what the person being spoken with receives too. And having an attachment to someone ‘getting’ what we say as well is a sure-fire way to pollute any truth that we can feel.
Yes Fiona. I can slip into the need for another to ‘get it’ instead of expressing what I feel to say and detach as it is not my responsibility what happens from then on. When expressed in love there is no attachment.
These are both really good points. Adam’s in saying something is better than not saying anything at all and I love how you have taken this further Fiona in saying yes but if we express from a hurt, emotion or reaction then this is in fact not healing but confirming the hurt instead. It shows there is so much more to expression (the true energy of it) to be aware of and learn. I feel how and the way we express is something that is very much taken for granted.
if you let things build up, you are reacting to a reaction, to a reaction and on it goes, this can get hard to untangle.
Not expressing our truth potentially stifles any evolution in the relationship.
Agree Elizabeth withholding the truth is against our expression and the harm on the body is very strong. For me expressing truth is not only speaking truth, but living truth as how we live is our expression and from our lived truth comes then the verbal expression of it. If we live truth, if our movements are true what we speak aligns to the Universal truth and cannot be anything else than truth.
Expressing truth is founded on my choice to take my responsibility and on the awareness of our all connection & equality. This is love.
This is beautifully expressed ,Sandra. We cannot be responsible for how another may receive the truth- this is also their choice.
To express truth is living love. I found the more I become aware of how much I love people, the more I express the truth to them.
This is what I am finding too Sandra. When love is the foundation, there is no holding back, truth has to be expressed. Expressing truth is becoming easier in my life but I am becoming increasingly aware of where I hold back from expressing truth especially with certain people.
For if no truth between us, how can love grow? One with out the other is not possible. Indeed they are one and the same.
Great line: “…I now know Truth is the same as Love…” It wasn’t when I was growing up, in fact it could have been said if you ‘really’ loved someone, then you were allowed to keep the truth from them so as to not hurt them. But was there another kind of damage being done instead?
Yes Linda and it is like we have a measure of how much to express or not express at all which only creates tension within ourselves and our bodies. When we express with truth and honesty it is felt and flows freely there is no tension, as truth holds love at its highest peak.
If I am not living truth-fully, I do not have a body to express truth in full, even though truth is what I have in my inner-most. I often doubt my feelings, whether what I want to say is truth or not; and even when I do express somehow it doesn’t feel quite clear and complete etc. For me, it’s about building a lived authority, it needs my consistent connection to my inner-most that is able to say ‘if this is what feels inside me, that is the truth’.
When my children were little we gave presents from friends that were addressed from Santa. When we were asked who is Santa? We gave them the story about Santa and we could see their faces changes as they worked out something didn’t quite fit or made any sense. When my son asked me if he was real, I simply told him the truth. He was even more baffled after that because he couldn’t understand why parents would make up such a lie. I then told him that we weren’t actually being honest or truthful about the whole Santa thing because we held back telling him the truth until it was questioned. I feel it is never too late to express truth to our children or anyone. To be completely honest about what we’ve previously chosen and start choosing to express truth was very healing for us all. The best way to teach our children to express truth is to allow ourselves to express truth in full too.
Children anyway feel everything – they feel very clear in their bodies what is truth and what is not. Maybe for us adults they seem to not be able to express that they know, but this is an arrogance we carry as adults. Children just differently express this than adults. They express it more honestly, sometimes with pictures, symbols or just crying.
So when we lie to someone, who actually anyway knows if it is truth or not – what are we doing?? How can we expect children to become truth-speaking adults when we condition them from the very beginning to the opposite?
Well said Sonja. We load our children with lies we are comfortable living ourselves, but truth is, this is always felt. Interesting how we can fall for lies when they suit us also.
Santa was a no brainer for me – I told everyone what was going on as soon as I could speak really… But totally still appreciated the love behind the playful ‘Santa antics’ and the ‘traces of his presence’ that might be there in the morning – knowing it was a fun game to play, and just wanting that teensy bit, to believe the lie, for it evoked a sense of magic in the world that seemed so deeply missing.
The thing is, the lie wasn’t needed – only love was, the love of family, being appreciated and held, being playful and having fun…
This is true, Victoria. I was very little when, I wondered why the neighbors son got for several days in a row ‘Nikolaus’ presents. (This is the ‘German’ Santa Claus at beginning of December). When he asked me if I did not know that Nikolaus does not exist and that this our parents are all doing, I felt hurt, very sad and cried. My first illusion which was revealed and many others followed.
What all the Christmas period presents is actually what people miss most – intimacy, connection and love.
I can relate to this chanly88 because i remember being very upset when i found out Santa was not for real. It was disturbing as a child because it wasn’t just Santa, it was the Easter bunny too! It was like a rotten trick had been played.
Expressing truth in full is something I have recently learnt and realised the impact it has on me and others when I hold back in expressing truth is massive. I have always thought I was honest but by not fully expressing truth in the past now actually feels dishonest. I also realised by not expressing myself in full hurts more than trying to make peace.
‘holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety. A lot of thoughts came up about what was right and wrong’ . I too know this experience and have held back a lot because when I did not hold back, I would be verbally attacked. I am learning however that when I speak from within my body, people can hear me. Whether they take it in and listen, is of course, their choice.
Yes, great point Michelle… “when I speak from within my body, people can hear me…” How true this is. And not only heard, but speaking this way you certainly feel its vibration through your own body, and you hear it back… the healing of love in sound and vibration.
Yes, when truth is regurgitated through the mental, it not longer holds true. Truth comes from the heart and the fullness of our body.
Another’s response to truth delivered is always their call, isn’t it Michelle.
The true mastery (myself a willing and ever-student!) is to allow this to be so in full, isn’t it…
Great point Brendan, so could it be said the moment we make the choice to hold back expressing what is there to be said we are in fact disconnecting from that truth and therefore ourselves, while also separating our self from another?
Santa Claus is not true….this I always did know as a child, I did know it. But I was longing for some magic in my life and so I was willing to take Santa as ‘better then nothing’. But here is the crux. By not seeing and appreciating the magic in me, my life and all around me, I brought myself to a position where I missed something that was there, but that I had separated from. Then I filled the hole left with untruths and got through life, always knowing that there is more. One thing is to let go of the lies and the other is to claim back what is given and to express it again. So the magic comes back into my life – even it was never gone – but I was.
Yes we have those ‘romantic lies’, where we smile and wink while telling/hearing. They are the hidden lies (even some are so obvious) we do not take so seriously. But every lie is a hurt and supporting/creating the untruth. This has a huge effect on us all.
Whenever we deliver truth in full, at that moment true brotherhood is being offered. If the offer is taken up either in the moment or later on when the truth is felt and accepted we are one step closer to true brotherhood. If it is not taken up and the truth is rejected we accept the other is not ready and that the hurt is still there. But we don’t stop expressing truth in full and we don’t stop offering brotherhood. We just hold ourselves and the other in love and the potential for true brotherhood still lives.
When I’m not delivering something I’m saying in truth or the truth in full, my body gives me little signals, gently telling me that there is something not right in what I’m bringing forth or I’m holding back the truth. The signal is quite often very subtle but at the same time very obvious to me. Our body is the marker of all truth, spoken or not, walked or not, lived or not
When I sit with everything that has been presented here, the part that hurts is this “In this contraction everyone misses out.” More and more I am coming to feel how true this is. It actually feels quite selfish to hold back… for who am I to decide what a person can and cannot hear? If it is there to be expressed, express it!
A reminder that cannot be ignored when felt in the body!
Gyl that’s beautiful. How gorgeous for this woman to feel another woman appreciating her… not once, but twice!! I love this.
It has definitely become the norm in society Julie. I’ve been listening to the radio a little bit lately – and I can feel in the way that all of the DJ’s speak and express themselves that there is a certain way that they are told to express – to engage their listeners and get ratings – that feels so unnatural, and forced. Yet, hundreds of thousands of us listen to this, accepting that this is OK – when deep down, we know that it’s not true.
Beautifully said Sandra, we have to be unattached to any kind of outcome. Beautiful.
Yes it is beautiful “to be unattached to any kind of outcome”…and quite a journey to do so. : )
I know that sick feeling Gyl! There are a couple of situations where I am holding back expressing myself… and the tension in my body is now so great, when I am in those environments I am so cranky!!, because I am holding onto all of this unexpressed stuff. Gross…!
Bang on Ariana. When I express in full, I feel 10ft tall, full, open and the love is flowing. To be anything other than that is a complete shrinking… and I can feel that that is how I hold myself a lot of the time – which just feels crazy! It’s a constant state of tension, that I am intentionally choosing! I love what you have expressed here “It changes the world around us, and changes us within the world.”
That is so brilliantly expressed Simon – the niceness does feel false, and confusing – it is so much more confirming for everyone for us to express the truth in full…however it may come out.
Very good point Sandra. I have felt this so many times – feeling an untruth, not expressing it, and walking away feeling the tension in my body of, as you say, being party to the lie.
Yes – that is a golden line Johanne!
Love the simplicity you express with here Carmel. Yes, we may not be perfect and may live in denial but at very least we can be honest with ourselves about this and then that is a true step forward.
Yes Adam, our bodies speak volumes compared to what we say, and in here lies our responsibility to move in alignment to the love we are and nothing less.
I agree kevmchardy, it is instilled in us from a very young age and becomes very ingrained as everyone else is doing it also! It is now our responsibility as adults and parents to allow our young to have their own voice no matter how much it may trigger us or make us uncomfortable.
That’s gorgeous Gyl, great story to share and very inspiring. By being open and honest we can confirm in others what they are having difficulty accepting, now that is truly evolving and not so scary after all!
Ahh Sandra, I can feel your gorgeousness in your clear and full expression here. It’s true, the words we speak do not come from us but from the energy we have chosen to align to, its simply our responsibility to align to the correct energy and what is needed to be said will be.
The fact that truth is always deeply felt is because it connects with our essence, our essence that only knows truth. Why do we run from this to hide in comfort only to delay from the glorious return to who we are.
Great understanding! Thank you. “the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.” This makes me reflect on how much I and many others hold back, not allowing the opportunity for all to grow.
I love what you have expressed here Ariana and I love the fact that you have given us the full version of expression! Not holding back or expressing in full is not about telling someone everything we thought while with them it is about bringing the love and the understanding to every situation. It is about doing the reading and feeling what is needed to be expressed and what is not. We can only do this by connecting to our body in full bringing all that we are; knowing our glory is to know the glory of another.
Hi lorettarapp and Lee, often I feel that people misinterpret expressing in full as saying everything we feel without holding back and this can be quite a self serving exercise as we get to off load. This is not to suggest that this is the case here. I feel to add an important point; for our expression to be full we have to read a situation and bring an understanding and a knowing for exactly what is needed to be said and what, even though true, would not serve in that moment. This, to me, is the true meaning of expressing in full.
Awesome the way you bring such clarification to the true meaning of expressing in full Kathleen Baldwin.
This is an excellent point you are making Sarahraynebaldwin as often expressing in full is misinterpreted as not holding back saying everything we feel, this can be self serving if we have not done the reading on the situation first. In fact doing the reading and understanding the whole picture is expressing in full and this takes the full situation into consideration as you so beautifully present in your comment. Our expression may be to hold our knowing and say nothing. This may be the expression of love that is needed in that moment.
Kathleen you totally understand the essence of what I am sharing. Expression is not just talking, expression is everything. So if we feel that we have “held back expressing” it is simply because we have not allowed ourselves to feel/read an entire situation and what is pulsed forth and next to be done. Sometimes very little is needed and the restraint of doing “nothing” is the challenge, as it appear to be “nothing” but in truth it can be the most powerful expression of all, as in that stillness you can become a very clear refection for people.
Beautifully expressed Sarah, to fully express is to be fully aware of what is needed at any given time; no more and no less.
I love reading your blog Linda, it resonates so strongly with me, particularly this sentence;
“In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety”.
Your words of wisdom inspire me to express what is felt in my body and to take responsibility for reactions and hurts.
I couldn’t agree more: “In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.”
This is the best explanation of devastation that I have ever heard. It is utterly devastating and totally crippling for the body to not speak truth.
Trust is absolutely essential: if we are not able to trust because of hurts and patterns, we will very likely create complication after complication in our lives trying to navigate through a stormy ocean of lies and unspoken truths.
It is beautiful that you expose here the responsibility we have to express not just for ourselves but for us all. It is the accepted norm to see situations like this from the basis of ourselves and its impact on us but we need to broaden our perspectives and see the grander picture at play that is not just about us but about us all.
Measured expression is a level of abuse to myself. When something is felt to be said, then it must be said, for this is the part I will play in the whole game of life.
By looking at it like this it takes abuse to a whole other level Matthew. Not only are we abusing ourselves when we hold back the truth but we are abusing anyone else involved.
I agree Matthew and Vicky, measured expression is abuse and claiming this truth takes abuse to a whole other level that is far more true than what we have told our self, and want to believe what abuse is.
Very true diana1975. For a long time I have been able to dismiss forms of abuse because I had been conveniently believing that abuse is ‘large’. It is the seemingly little forms of abuse that is actually saying yes to all forms of abuse. I am appreciating learning it is all the same – big or small.
Yes that is true for me too Vicky Geary, as I am also learning and becoming more aware of the effect everything has on everything.
I Agree Matthew, I can relate to how measuring my expression in order to not upset others has been a direct abuse to my body and stops me from experiencing intimacy in my relationships with others.
I am so with you on that line Jinya; ‘From this life onwards, it’s going to change’.
Without Truth we cannot Trust and to be able to trust we need to have consistency of remaining open and developing our relationships. The minute we know that there has been any sign of deceit we start to shut down and keep the other person at a distance. Love is letting people in all the time no matter what they have chosen and calling out what is not true.
Our body wants truth and it is with every single cell heading towards a truer way of being. It is us who in our heads sabotage this and don’t want to hear truth, but the good thing is that this only works for a while – for a short while or a long while – at the end if we do not see truth – truth will make us see with the help of our bodies.
I have a instant marker of truth in my face.. when ever I say, do, express, eat and so on which is not of truth – the tip of my nose goes red. I do not like it always to see my untruth like this – but it is effective.. and even make-up cannot cover it. 🙂
Holding back not expressing my full truth, use to build up lots of frustration and anxiety in me, which also built up into anger and rage when least expected. All because I did not want to upset someone and hurt another’s feeling. Being that way just made it worst. As I started to understand this behaviour through the help my practitioners it was lovely to begin to open up and speak my truth. It allows me to feel open and confidence in myself, as well it also allows the other person to be open and honest.
I agree Joshua, recently I realised I was holding back the amount of love I have within myself. It was not that I did not tell that person I love them regularly but I was holding back a part of all the love I am thinking this would keep me safe. As you say not holding back is letting out every bit of us, our love, our joy, our silliness, to me it is a feeling of being boundryless and without restrictions or protection.
You have described here Carolien what it means to be truly free. Free beyond the confines of our ideals and beliefs
yes Joshua, absolutely free, and therefore safe as what is held within cannot ever be touched.
With that I mean that there is a part of us, our innermost, that cannot be damaged, changed or touched by anything outside of us, no matter how big or hurtful. When we live from this part of us, we still get hurt but we have all the tools and wisdom to deal with it.
Every religion thinks their truth is THE truth and defends it to the utmost. We need to bring honesty to the table first, before we make a claim for truth.
In any given situation there can only be one truth, even when you think your truth is the truth.
It will be good for mankind when we all get totally comfortable with expressing truth, and when we all feel the one truth.
Yes this is TRUE. The truth is one unified. The same for ALL. No wonder if feels so awesome. 🙂 🙂
I am noticing the confusion and mess that often follows when I or someone holds back on expressing truth. Truth keeps things simple and everyone knows where they stand. Holding back the truth denies everyone the opportunity to make a decision based on all the facts. And when truth is spoken it gives others the opportunity to share theirs which results in more clarity for all.
‘I remember as a young child I was deeply hurt when I found out Santa Claus was not true. I felt that every adult in the world had lied to me; this made it hard for me to fully trust adults and what they told me’. As this whole Santa Claus myth is so widely perpetuated it is a great tool to teach children and people not to trust what they innately feel and betray our own knowingness to play along with the game. This needs to stop. Something disguised as being so innocent and just ‘fun’ is playing a huge role in teaching children that what they feel is not important. This is insidious.
I full heartedly agree Michelle as it was my experience on the other end with my then 7 year old daughter. When I told her that it was not true and asked if she was disappointed she replied: ‘I knew something was not right about the whole thing anyway, but what I really don’t understand is why you lied to me” That was a huge ouch and I really apologized and thanked her for being so honest. I learned a great lesson here and it was a gift for her younger sisters because they would not have to experience this betrayal. Because you are so right in: ‘Something disguised as being so innocent and just ‘fun’ is playing a huge role in teaching children that what they feel is not important.’ And yes that is insidious!
‘I remember as a young child I was deeply hurt when I found out Santa Claus was not true. I felt that every adult in the world had lied to me; this made it hard for me to fully trust adults and what they told me’ I too recall feeling this hurt. I recall that I had always doubted the existence of Santa Claus so it wasn’t the lie that hurt as much but the fact that what I had known to be true was not acknowledged or valued.
Well said Linda, that feels really true and is well worth considering next time I may be tempted to hold back the fullness of the truth I am feeling. As we know we are all equal, and if something is shared with love, it can be received without any reaction. And even if there is a reaction, that is ok too.
Yes Esther, I feel being able to express from Love and not being attached to the outcome is the key.
When we speak our truth in full, it offers another to speak their truth too. When we hold back truth in any way, the conversation is diluted and the truth doesn’t get heard or acknowledged by the other, it becomes an excuse to stay where we are in our own comfort of not having to live up to the truth that we know.
Brilliant comment Sally, this is so true. I also find I feel awful in my body when I haven’t expressed truth in full. It allows my mind to go round and round in circles repeating what I should have said or not, going into spiral of beating myself up. When this happens I try to understand what was holding me back, talk about it with a friend or even better address it with the person I was holding back on and try again the second time to express truth and how I feel. I find the more I understand why I previously chose to hold back the easier it is now for me to express truth from the very beginning in the next opportunity. It feels amazing to be able to re-imprint what I didn’t choose previously by being aware of what I choose now and to continuously practice expressing truth to the best of my ability.
Everything is expression, so everything is about evolving / growing. This is big! There’s so many events that I would have and would still consider ‘normal’ and not moments to evolve. Like the past 2 days I was with my daughter at a friends’ place – staying overnight as well. This was a new experience for my daughter and she insisted beforehand that I would go with her. As she woke up she felt a bit sick and after taking care of her and resting on the couch she’d loved to sleep a bit more. When we were lying in bed I felt how much it meant to her to give herself permission to feel safe at someone’s else place. As I felt this, I cried and realised how delicate we all are and how we are to always sensible sense what feels good to us and what doesn’t. I felt such an appreciation for herself, for myself and her mum who dedicated her life for being there for her the first 4 years of her life. I could feel how all this dedication now made her able to choose to let go of deep fear that she’s been chosing for quite some time. How important is expression! And how important is that we are never to dismiss anyone’s expression. We just don’t know what is behind the act or behaviour! That is only to feel.
I love it when we don’t hold back truth and just deliver it gently and honestly and the other person opens up more.
I love it too Elizabeth, it feels so much more loving, open, and expansive to express truth, so why hold back at all? It is incredible to share truth with others, the more I practice this the more people open up to me. It’s truly a joyful experience.
I do recall when very young being told to not be so bold. It was quite perplexing at the time. I was only expressing what I knew was true.
Pleading ignorance and not expressing what is there to express, doesn’t help anyone, it just keeps us in delay from expressing something that is right there to be said and could be the difference between true sharing of wisdom that is for all to grow from, or a capping and missed opportunity where no-one can heal.
Truth can be expressed in very little words.
Truth is never wrong or harming. There may be times when it is unwelcome and we do not wish to hear it only because it can present to us the things we have chosen not to feel. No matter how long we hide in the lies… the truth will set us free.
To tell lies will never bring more than a short lived gain, as this always creates tension, hurts and scars and distance. Telling the truth is an invitation to be honest and heal the hurts we all carry with us, stopping our patterns and momentums and truly opening up to others.
Any time we hold back what is there to be expressed, we say to the other person you do not matter, you do not warrant the truth or the love that I could be offering. It is saying to another that they are not worth the love that could be shared. Why do we harm our brothers like this, why do we not honour our brothers in equality, how we want to be honoured for ourself.
That line also stood out for me matildaclark. The ultimate connection between people occurs while expressing the full truth to one another. Then we are able to meet eachother in and as love.
Truth is the easiest way to handle any situation. Speaking the truth and standing for it may not seem easy on the surface, when reactions come up, but underneath it offers everyone involved the chance to heal deeply instead of adding new hurts and patterns to our lives.
I have been learning that there is a line between when to say something and when to not say it, if it is truly heartfelt then we would be a fool to not express something and hold it in our body. But some things are just my reaction, and to say something to someone, thinking I am right and that I am going to help them is arrogant, because it is not expressed with love.
Well said harryjwhite, we do need to discern where it’s coming from and be coming from love, not from ‘teaching another’ or having to be ‘right’.
Yes harryjwhite. Every time we open our mouth and speak it is either harming or healing. I have recognised recently how I am becoming more aware of my body when I am expressing with another. One day this week I said something about another to them and it came from a reaction. I instantly felt the hardness and separation in my body and so was able to nominate it and let it go. Our bodies are the true marker as to whether we are coming from love or not.
It was an painful moment when I first realised that I didn’t speak truthfully. And I questioned how and when had this occurred that my expression was false, and that this had become acceptable to me? Holding back, little white lies, fibs and exaggeration had all had become my normal. When we feel it in the body, it’s very powerful to experience and let go of. Expressing truthfully is a learning journey for us all.
As you describe Gillrandall, it is very easy for “holding back, little white lies, fibs and exaggeration” to become the normal without us even realising it. However, the body does not lie, hence the importance of always discerning what the body is trying to tell us.
You took the words right out of my body, Anne : )
Beautifully said gillrandell. Indeed we are all learning to express truth in full and without perfection. We are going to slip up on the way but what I am becoming more aware of is that when I do, I am more gentle on myself than I used to be.
Oliver I like what you share, tough love, though it is not really that, can be saying no to a child, or anyone for that matter, not saying no is actually more abusive to the person and the resulting situations that inevitably arise. But although we have the saying “cruel to be kind” there is actually nothing at all cruel about it, it is just a willingness to not play nice and accept the destructiveness that would follow not being truthful.
For quite a while I’ve been noticing that I always feel tension when I speak Truth to others or even when I write a comment like now. It is as if I am disconnecting from myself, choosing smallness rather than being with me when I express. Today it sank in that this a strong pattern that creates a lot of stress and anxiety. Because I am used to it, it has become my ‘normal’. Where as I am realising now that this might no be the case, or better is not the case. I’ve expressed during my life a lot of truths and people love me because of this honesty and purity. I could actually never really hear these compliments as I couldn’t feel it in my own body. Now I do see and feel that this is an amazing quality I bring. But that a lot of the times when I express I choose fear so I am disconnected from me and miss out on the beauty and joy I hold in the inside. This honest I’ve not been so far to myself. There’s quite some resistance to feel the reason that I chose this. What I allready sense the last couple of days is the joy and playfullness are coming back into my daily life. Not all of the time, but I notice it’s lighter. With gratitude towards @Mary-LouiseMyers who supported me on Wednesday with a session ECTT – Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. And to @SergeBenhayon who founded and grounded this amazing modality.
Truth like Love, Joy, Harmony and Stillness is a quality of the Soul. It is an energetic state of being. Therefore speaking the truth can also be done without words. It is an energetic transmission that can be conveyed by our eyes, our actions, our movements. In fact we can say a series of words and it is truthful and we can repeat exactly the same words and it is a lie purely depending on the energy of our expression. Speaking the truth does not always mean that we have to say everything we perceive because we also have to discern if it is evolutionary and supportive to verbalise what we see. Simply through our own awareness it makes it available to others. Truth comes with responsibility and is not something for self-gain. The more we are in service and the more responsible we are, the more we see and the more we get to experience the joy of expressing in full.
Thank you for writing about truth and it’s expression so eloquently Nicola.
What you have expressed here Nicola feels absolutely true, it is so very powerful and wise.
I love your expansion here offered Nicola, very profound and clear, coming from your true wisdom and Soul connection.
I love this understanding Nicola , speaking the truth is an energetic transmission and the truth can be felt in our expression and delivery also . Through our awareness and responsibility we can get to experience the joy of expressing in full .Beautiful thank you.
This is a very important point you are making Nicola as often speaking our truth is misinterpreted as needing to speak everything we are feeling without holding back. This is actually very self serving if one has not read the situation. Reading another is expressing truth.
This is great Kathleen, Many speak their truth as their own need, with no consideration for the harm that actual untruth may inflict on others.
Exactly, Catherine, as even if it is a truth and we haven’t read the situation before we deliver it then we are not expressing in full.
Yes I agree Catherine, because it is not true if it is not said with love and connection and neither contain any emotion. Therefore if something is said or expressed in some way out of reaction or need it is energetically simply not true. Basic mathematics!
Love your wisdom Nicola. Discerning is key – when to express verbally and when not to. It’s not about self.
I love what you have expressed here, Nicola. Truth can be felt long before any words are said. In fact often in verbal expression we get caught up in justification and preaching rather than just expressing the truth from our bodies. Truth comes from my essence.
Exactly Anne, and as we are all of the one essence there is only one truth – so truth always unifies and applies to all equally.
The thing I find with truth is it sometimes leaves you with nothing to say back. The truth was delivered in full so nothing more is needed. And therefore Nicola in response to you
Beautifully expressed Nicola, with this level of awareness I know the more I develop my relationship with truth and express it, the more evolution is offered to others.
Yes I agree Francisco and equally the more truth and evolution is offered to you.
Thank you, Nicola. I love the expansion you have offered here. Absolute gold. Expressing in full doesn’t mean spelling everything out verbally, it is about the one who is expressing being in their fullness of connecting to and considering of the All.
Yes Nicola, yes the Truth can only be that when its expressed in the energy of Truth. otherwise it comes with an emptiness and falseness.
WHAT Santa Claus is not true!!!???
Wait, what?! Since when?!
I never did the Santa thing with my son then when he was about 3 I did it one year. The next year I came clean with him and he was so hurt that I lied to him. He still brings it up and is in utter disbelief I did that!
It is funny what we perceive as truth or not truth. I just read the most AMAZING book by Serge Benhayon called “Time, Space and all of us – Book 1 – Time”. If you read that book you will learn how our whole concept of time is “a big fat lie” and the HUGE harm of this lie. As far as I am concerned there is something much more honest and less harmful about Santa Claus than there is about our attitude to time and in particular that we consider it is a lineal thing.
ps: Santa if you are reading this I expect a big present this year 🙂
I worked in a prison environment in the maintenance department for 20 years. I found that speaking the truth when talking to the residents of the state that resided there was a refreshing way to be, from the way that was still instilled as the way they should be spoken to or spoken down to! This was before I was introduced to Universal Medicine. At the time it just felt to be a more natural and real way to treat others who ever they were. This just showed me that we never lose the love for ourselves and others… we just forget to use it.
“…we never lose the love for ourselves and others… we just forget to use it.” Beautiful, and what a place to remember that love is so needed, sjmatsonuk.
“we never lose the love for ourselves and others… we just forget to use it.” This is so true and it is quite interesting how sometimes people who have given up on life or have little investment in life are more willing to speak truth. Its quite absurd how we conform to societal norms and make speaking untruth the norm instead of connecting to truth and then we use proverbs such as “Children and drunks always speak the truth” and “a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts” without reflecting that we have accepted to not live truth.
‘Devastation comes from withholding truth’ This is so true in any situation and most if not all of the suffering, conflict and calamity that we see on a world scale has as its roots an unwillingness to express or feel the truth.
Well expressed Gabriele – to hold back the truth is like casting a shadow over us and our relationships. And it is a burden we have to clear one day. By more and more expressing in full truth and letting go of the controlling aspect I feel lighter and life becomes more simple in the best way.
For many years I did not make the connection between truth and love but now I understand that in order for there to be openness, intimacy and trust in any relationship, which for me are all fundamental building blocks of love, there has to be truth and a willingness at least to be as honest with each other as you can be and not let anything lie hidden or unsaid.
What a contrast that is from what we are often shown as being the way to love in a relationship which is often, ‘keep them no matter what’ or ‘take care of yourself first’ or ‘take care of them first’, etc. etc. etc. Like you, Andrew, I have learned that communication, honesty and truth are the most important things in relationships, whether that is my intimate one with my wife or with my friends or my work colleagues.
So true Matildaclark, the opportunity to be fragile and tender with another. very special.
It is very interesting that when we do not say what is there to say in full, it creates a lot of confusion and angst within us, and that we have accepted that and found ways to deal with it. Thank you for speaking about the fact that we do not have to do that and the full implications of holding back what we all have to share.
Very true Lisa. Holding back our expression is something we have just accepted as our norm and we find so many different ways to deal with the tension this creates in our bodies. For me it has been overeating, sleeping, shopping etc. The reminder that it is an expression of love to not hold back is refreshing. Accepting that reactions will come is another step to take.
Yes, Lisa, the key to our expression is to know whether this is a moment to say everything that is there or whether it is a moment where something else is more appropriate and the pain comes when we express less than what is being asked for at that moment. This takes a bit of practice but is very joyful when we get it right and it is beautiful even when the other rejects what has just been expressed.
The level of acceptance of our expression is an indicator, but not a very reliable indicator, whether we have expressed in full. Our body, when we are not in reaction, is a much better marker.
Christophschnelle what you have said about whether one gauges one’s expression being full or not on our bodies or how it is received by others is very helpful. I know to put aside my personal issues -wanting to be accepted or liked- and feel from my body what there is to say and when it is complete- rather than drive a point home.
I totally agree Christoph, that another’s acceptance of our expression is not a reliable indicator of whether we have expressed in full or not and whether that has been true or not. We are all still learning to accept what is expressed, sometimes we react, sometimes we don’t want to know, we feel hurt etc. Our best marker is definitely our own body in connection with who we are and our stillness.
Thank you Kevinmchardy, I agree, the deep seated lying ways I have lived ‘ has been a hard one for me to overcome’!
Absolutely Arianna, and what a celebration that is!
Yes I agree Aimee not speaking the truth is becoming less of an option as the tension and anxiety felt in my body is very uncomfortable which shows how harmful this choice is to ourselves and others.
There is such a lot of protection of kids because we think they shouldn’t know certain things or they don’t understand. But really kids read this game and they play it back very early on.
And we are all kids inside, with that same perception.
Reading your comment Matthew I also wondered if we really do not tell kids because we want to protect them or is it because we want to keep up an appearance not wanting them to know the truth that reveals where we ‘adults’ are at, and we are actually trying to protect ourselves?
“Love, truth and expression”- what an important and prevalent topic/s. This is what we are all seeking! And I say yes to the fact that by not holding back, it allows another to also recognise and express their truth – and thus evolution, true change, togetherness and joy follows. I completely support you because I feel this is it. It is definitely an unfolding process but I am beginning to open up more and express me, which feels so much better and spacious than holding back with all its consequences!
I had an example this week where I did not express fully, simply to keep the conversation from being too extended. Afterwards the tension I felt showed me that no way was it Ok to do this.
How often we only half do anything — and that is a half hearted way of living life. Full commitment to ourselves and the task brings a feeling of appreciation and confidence, and is an inspiration to others. Moving and doing and speaking are all expressions of ourselves. Whatever we are thinking or feeling creates the quality with which we do anything. If we commit to the truth of ourselves and what we feel, then a full expression means living life in full. That feels like an expansion to me , whereas half expressing feels enormously contracting. I can feel the shrivelling up inside when I do that, and the feeling of let down. And what I have come to realise is that expression in every moment with myself, with others or not, leads to a fuller and truthful expression in all of life.
The tension caused by not expressing my truth in full has quite literally given me a pain in the neck and even effected my posture. So the only way out is expression, expression and more expression and then some.
To hold back reflects to me that I put my state over that from us all. I avoid to tell something what is confronting the other and may let them react against. So I want to be safe and hold back, measure what to say…and so manipulate the truth and make it not-truth so. This is a harming act for all of us. That is to ponder on for me.
My holding back of expressing truth is holding us all back from evolving.
Really timely reminder for me as a couple of days a go I was attending a big business meeting and held back expressing my truth in full and yes I felt pretty wracked after, I had let what I thought others would think of my stop me from expressing in full. This made me realise the responsibility to express is huge as from me holding back the meeting took a turn which meant no one truly developed. Me holding back me held everyone else back.
The responsibility and simplicity of this in terms of our everyday choices is pure gold…thank you, Adam.
Social niceties are like a well-oiled machine in me…so finely tuned. It is a joy to dismantle this false engine and let the real, sustainable, all-serving deal shine through.
‘Yet all the while we make that place’ – super cool because in understanding this we cannot pretend that we cannot make the other. Expressing the love and truth that we are brings grandness and space to the world that frees us all from the constraints we have imposed. Thank you, Ariana.
Our beautiful bodies are always talking to us, sharing so much wisdom if we just allow ourselves to feel and deeply appreciate all that’s there, in spite of whether it feels good, or not. There is always so much to learn.
‘When not telling the truth there can appear to be a short term gain, such as not creating upset, which allows a more comforting scenario to play out – letting myself be liked rather than being the apparent bringer of upsetting news. The reason that short term gaan is so short-lives is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.’ To read this again this morning I could feel how uncomfortable it feels to play this game any longer and how it drains us. We all can experience how much energy it costs to hold back, or partly hold back on truth. I sure can.
I love what you share here, Katie, thank you ….
‘There is a responsibility when expressing truth, as truth without love is empty and leaves a void. When truth is expressed with love there is more opportunity for truth to be connected to and hence heard.’
Beautiful …… and the love will also be felt.
Matthew you’re spot on. I often reflect on a friend that a group of us had. She was very controlling and could get angry and dismissive quickly. Not only did the group avoid expressing how we felt but we also all worked hard not to do or say anything that would upset the friend. If we had been able to lovingly share how we felt then she would have been given the opportunity to see and feel how she was being and therefore she would have also had the choice to change. Because of our silence and our manipulation of our own behaviour we held back evolution not only for our friend but for ourselves too.
Using our voice to expressing in full is really important, but equally, this the non verbal communication, is pretty much ‘on’ all of the time. And therefore, how we are feeling at any particular time does get expressed whether we are conscious of it or not. This makes me understand how important it is to have vigilance and awareness about ourselves and address issues, or emotions that do arise, as we are expressing all of the time
We do express all the time Johannebrown, whether we speak or not, so how important to be aware of our energy and ourselves in every second.
Every moment is an opportunity to express truth.
Carmel this is a great expansion of what the truth is and how we reject it. How awful to feel that my body expresses a truth and I ignore it, and that I don’t say exactly how I feel.
Joel Thankyou for writing about the pockets of unexpressed truths, this has given me insight into how and why my body feels this way and how draining these little instances are of holding back and how the body feels as a result.
Susan I love what you say about truth “As soon as truth is presented it is like there is instant clarity and simplicity and a very clear purpose to life.” Truth seems to actually unite us as one and we move forward instead of occupying our own little bubbles of self disconnected from the all.
It’s a choice we need to make between being love or being nice.
Our ears clearly hear love and our whole body feels it. We surrender to love first and then accept the words.
Brilliantly said Sandra, the truth is who we are, it’s not attached to anything. The moment we are invested we are already outside of ourselves, our body and our heart. There is no love, truth or true self in expressing for outcomes.
When someone speaks the truth, those who hear it must deal with many things. The truth exposes more than the subject it focuses on. It brings up the discomfort people have with speaking the truth themselves, and all of their issues around expression. Yet to not express the truth is damaging for everyone and also for the body. To truly care for others we must express the truth with love and not hold back. Let everyone feel uncomfortable for its better than assisting them to perpetuate a lie. Not speaking the truth is like speaking a lie or part truth. It’s not being ourselves.
That is gold and the more we understand the power of that statement the sooner we will feel the only option is to be ourselves in full, truth and that will be our love lived. It is what the world truly needs.
Very true Matthew, the truth often tears down the walls of comfort and illusion, which we build up around us like scaffolding around a building. We construct a life that is false and each little lie or untruth builds on the last. The truth can be uncomfortable because it deconstructs all that is untrue to deliver us back to ourselves, as well as all the comfort we have constructed to live a lie. The truth strips us bare of what we do not need, and as those walls come tumbling down what is revealed is much needed honesty and the true self can emerge – much more beautiful. The truth supports what we already are and nothing more or less.
I feel so much of my holding back is tied up with wanting to be liked and fit in. This false brotherhood stunts my growth and halts any real truth to be lived, constantly making myself less and a master of manipulation, what an exhausting way to live!! So much more freedom and energy if you choose to just be yourself and share that with others.
Reading today there seems to be two aspects of truth for me to look at, one is what I think is truth and comes from my mind, and one is the truth that is outside of the human folly and comes from my heart, there is a wisdom and absoluteness to it, and it still relates to all facets of human life.
Thanks to these comments and this great article, I am deepening my understanding and feeling exactly what comes up when we/I choose to hold back and this is supporting breaking down the actual issues and fears I automatically default to feel and choose in these situations when I hold back truth.
Truth can so easily be expressed when we truly honour our bodies.
I agree jacqmcfadden04 – living truthfully is our natural state of being
I love how you’ve expressed a familiar hesitation I have had with expression, the questioning of ‘is it my place to say anything?’.
It is never an accident we are placed in situations where we feel the impulse to express something that no one else is. I’ve been observing how, when people deliver what there is to say with no apology, people just accept it is OK say. They may disagree but the fact it was said isn’t questioned. Is this because we do all have an innate knowing we are all equal and deliver uniquely important truths that if we hold back on none of us get to evolve? I’d say so.
If we really choose to sit with one of the open sentences in this blog, it would reveal a mountain to those living in caves at the base: “I held back because I was worried about how the other person might respond.”
I agree Oliver Hallock, speaking from experience I lived in this self-made prison once. But breaking down the walls with expressing truth when I feel it is there to express at any moment, no matter the outcome or reactions is a freedom I will never give up on again.
Isn’t it incredible that there are so many reasons to not express your truth. These reasons retard everyone and these reasons are based on ideals that have foundations that are not based on love.
When I express in full I feel an expansion in my body and warmth emanate out from deep within me along with a great stillness.
Margaret what you have touched on here is that there is a science to expression and truth that we can feel as energy within our body. Thankyou.
Yes, expressing in full feels so much more loving, powerful and energising.
Adam you should write a book! Always love what you share! Agree with what you have shared 100%
Exactly Simon. Truth is always there being felt, but can be hidden under the game of niceness that we play, and it has a very false feeling like you describe. Our daily interactions could be so much different if we expressed truth in all of them! Hear hear brother!
I had a job interview recently where I expressed in full. I didn’t say a huge amount because they did most of the talking, but I expressed in full by my presence, through hand gestures and eye contact.
The impact of this blog sinks in a little deeper each time l read it. There’s always more. Just as there’s always a deeper truth that can be expressed in all situations. We need to live in a way that supports us to naturally make this choice every time in every area of our lives. ln the easy situations and the challenges.
Totally agree with you Adam, expressing our truth is so much more than what we say or write, it is absolutely EVERYTHING we do.
When taking this blog into the context of ‘expression being everything’ it is huge exploration of being ourselves in full, whether it be speaking the whole truth, or bringing all of us to a look, a smile a hug or to an activity like cleaning of the house. Expressing in full seems to occur when I live life in full awareness of being a loving, caring and sensitive man in a body that is really being looked after and attended to.
And often the bigger the ‘Ouch’ , the more profound the learning that awaits us, if we choose to listen.
I find this frustrating too Vanessa. When I present courses, at the start I always invite the group to be open and honest as a way of us working together and suggest that if anyone’s unhappy about something I’ve said or done, to tell me at the time. Occasionally, how people on the course is totally different to how and what they express on post course evaluations!
It is great how you describe the feelings within you when you choose to hold back from full expression. I am familiar with some of those feelings. I can feel what needs to be said bubble up and if I do hold back, it impacts on my body a lot, I almost feel like I am about to burst with the tension, if I don’t express I bury that frustration and self recrimination back into my body, it does not feel good at all. I used to feel this a lot when I began to give full expression a go, some times it would come out like a burst dam, I was so out of practice, it wasn’t perfect but it felt true and sometimes when it felt a bit strong I would apologise to the people I delivered it to, and there are times when I still do that. I often feel the truth but am learning to deliver it with more understanding and love. I still have so much more to express and I can feel as I explore expression more deeply there are so many more layers and more expression that can be developed. The key for me has been learning to be gentle and understanding and not just with others but me also. I have a commitment to learn to truly express myself, without practice and the space to learn, it won’t happen. When we do not have ago at expressing, an opportunity of inspiration, new awareness, understanding and a deeper connection with ourselves and others is not made available. Often many of the moments of inspiration I have encountered and learnt from have been through people being willing to share the truth that they feel and not being worried or attached to the consequences.
I am learning daily that any unexpressed tension is really self abuse! If I am made to naturally express then holding back is compression as you state Ariana! How painful is compression?! It inhibits our growth and hides our light.
Toni this is a real corker of a topic! It is one that affects us all deeply. What we express directly affects the world that we live in. We create the world we live in with what we express. So the question that naturally arises is ‘what is it that we are living in considering that most of what is expressed is not the truth’ ?
With age hopefully comes experience. I had found that telling the truth was something that was fun when people expected lies. Saying ‘oop’s I messed up’ is not what they were expecting. It would just de-fuse the situation immediately almost all the time. It also brings closer and everyone moves forward. I enjoy the simple rather than the complex it allows life to flow un-abated.
I love how you made it playful sjmatsonuk . When we stop keeping up appearances we can start meeting each other.
Yes sjmatsonuk and also the appreciation of not lying your way out of not so pleasant situations brings a lightness to the situation. Telling the truth allows magic to happen between people.
Hi Katie, I agree there can be no truth with out love.
I love that Ariana “Expressing the love we truly are inside is a form of dedication, it comes out in all our movements and speech, how we dress and how we communicate, this is all expressing this grand love we all are” So true it is a dedication and commitment to ourselves to express our love to self and others in every moment. I am going to take these words of wisdom into my day.
It’s an amazing statement. We think of truth as just something vocally expressed yet it’s something that is lived. To dedicate ourselves to living the love we are means we take a truth to all we meet. When we live the love we are, we are undeniably the truth, and reflecting that truth back to all we meet.
Well said Sara, it changes a lot to know that we all know truth just the same… we’ve been so conditioned to think truth is the monopoly of the well educated. Such a falsity that caps so many of us.
True Jenny. This is the difference between what comes from the body and what comes from the mind… We all have access to the same intelligence, it’s just a matter of how much we choose to be aware.
Yes, intelligence is something so much more encompassing than what can be recalled through the mind. Through listening to the body we gain access to the most extraordinary intelligence, and as you say, it is up to us how much of this we allow awareness of. Nothing like a bit of numbing or distraction to dull our awareness of something felt and known to be true when we would rather it wasn’t!
I agree Sandra, I hate that feeling when I walk away from some-one and I know I have not spoken the full truth. I feel the contraction in my body and have to live with the tension of knowing that I passed up an opportunity for evolution for the other and myself. The saving grace is that if you are honest with yourself, learn from the situation, do not beat yourself up then the opportunity comes around pretty quickly for you to do it differently.
Thank you Mary-Louisemyers for the confirmation that we always get another chance to allow evolvement. We are never left behind.
Great points Sandra and Mary Louise. Our bodies are the markers of truth and speak loudly when what is going on around it is not in alignment to that truth. It does take courage to speak up in a world that is telling us to be quiet and play the game or else! But missing that moment of potential evolution hurts because we have walked away from our own love.
Great point Mary-Louise… there is no point beating ourselves up… just seize the opportunity when it presents itself again!
Sandra this is such a great point letting go of the control and a certain outcome that you want. It doesn’t work because you are already shutting down your full expression to a conformed way in which you want it to be. We have to allow our expression to go for it with out any conditions. This one I am still working on and it feels amazing simply allowing my expression to flow.
When we value evolution more than being nice or accepted it becomes easier to express in full and not hold back. Whilst we herald acceptance from others as important we will always hold back to some degree.
Holding back our truth can so create those feelings in our body. I have felt that tension and anxiety due to holding back what needed to be expressed, in fear of what the other person would say. This is never a great outcome, because its now allowing growth on either side.
I understand what you say Ariana and on the occasions when I have let out what is felt and there to say, my body has come to a wonderful rest and there is a great stillness, absent of any anxiety.
You cant argue with the truth. It it what it is.
Yes Joel I can relate to this….the ‘pocket’s of untruth’ need to be emptied don’t they?
I love this Fiona ‘ Expression is like a stream, it is meant to flow, not be controlled at the source by damming it up.’ Its so true isn’t it?
‘When not telling the truth there can appear to be a short term gain, such as not creating upset, which allows a more comforting scenario to play out – letting myself be liked rather than being the apparent bringer of upsetting news. The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.’
Great article Toni and so ‘true’ :). The truth is always deeply felt whether we like it or not so why not learn to express fully from the heart?
An awesome quote to take away from this blog, and a great question, Kathryn.
“truth is the same as love” .. what an absolute golden statement…
Absolutely Johannebrown17. We need love to share true truth and sharing true truth is being loving.
I agree, sharing the truth is very loving.
I love this analogy Fiona.
Yes our world is upside down and back-to-front when it comes to our ideas of what love is and what love actually is. Great point Carolien.
Yes I have also noticed when I do not fully express something it is always in the back of my mind taking up energy. Until I take the opportunity to fully express what I left unsaid it is as if I am doing two things at once, those things being the thought at the back of my mind and what ever it is I am presently doing, no wonder it is such a drain of our energy to not fully express. I have also noticed we keep on getting the opportunity to express what we left unexpressed until we choose to just let it all come out, this is the magic of God and the workings of constellations.
Great analogy Fiona. Damming it up really takes a lot of force.
So very true, Fiona.
The tension that comes from not expressing what I am feeling is less and less bearable the more I do express. I feel that there is still a fear of being judged in some way which holds me back from expressing all that is there to express. By expressing ourselves in truth we get to claim ourselves back from the lies we have bought into, and any judgement will not have the power that we had previously given it.
Love your honesty Jinya Mizuno.
Yes truth has a way of cutting through emotion leaving you in the simplicity of the choice to be made. There is no longer any identification with complication leaving more space in you body for what is real – there is definitely a clarity and openness there.
Having lived much of my life as a ‘nice’ person, I can relate very strongly to what you have written Toni. I still find it hard to express truth if I think the other person will react badly. I used to think my motive for holding back was to not hurt the other, but in being honest with myself I have felt that it is so I can remain comfortable in the belief that I am still liked. Since becoming a Student of the Way of the Livingness, I have been dropping the need to be liked and recognised by others and have been learning to express truth instead. This line says it all “I now have the understanding that it is so important to express in full so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort.”. Thank you Toni.
Holding back part of the truth means we are being completely dishonest. A partial truth is the same as lying and as others has shared, creates mistrust and hurt within relationships for even if it is never actually brought out into the open, it is still felt.
Why is it that we are worrying so much about expressing the truth and not expressing lies? When did the word “truth” become worrisome and a source of anxiousness, and not the word “lie”? How much do we care about protecting the self and not integrity and virtue?
Wow Melinda, very good question indeed: when did it become worrisome to express our truth, rather than being worried about lying? Could it be us caring more about protecting ourselves, rather than upholding integrity and virtue?
This is absolutely true Lucy. When we hold back the truth, we know it, the other person knows it, and the games, lies and dishonesty continues.
You are right Lucy, we can feel everything. Sometimes we make things worse for ourselves by filling in what someone might think about us because we just know when something is not expressed.
Its incredible what a gift it is to people to fully express and not sugar coat something. Personally I would opt for this from someone any time, and I am practising being that way myself.
Funny, but being nice drives me bonkers, I would much rather someone is honest rather than nice.
I know what you mean Heather. It’s like there is a wall between you. Honesty is so deeply refreshing.
Hear, hear Heather being nice is not so ‘nice’ at all and quite tasteless really.
It’s amazing how we self sabotage when we hold back on our truth – we instantly know that we are being un-true to ourselves and to the other person, and then try to find convenient ways of justifying our action. This is certainly a waste of time and energy and yet another distraction from just being who we are fully and with a greater sense of purpose and love.
What a great comment Susan, when we sacrifice any part of the truth we sacrifice a part of ourselves. We look at truth as a separate part of ourselves, as something we feel to express, but truth is a part of ourselves and to not express it is as you say, not being who we are fully.
Thank you, Elizabeth. That makes so much sense, the more we express our truth, the more we can expose what’s not true and we then have an opportunity to choose differently. If we are not committed to living the truth we are feeling to share, I can see why we may have some resistance to sharing it. It wouldn’t actually be our lived truth to share anyway, if we have not made the commitment to bring it into our livingness. Again, this presents an opportunity to choose differently and make that commitment.
Ah yes I too recognize that the “it is better to not tell, otherwise it would hurt him or her” theory. And the false “white lie” theory that so many grow up with as just a classic example when the phone rings and you have to say that the one who ‘s being called is not at home, even when he/or she is standing next to you. And you know the silly thing about being on the receiving end of these un-truths, is that we actually know/feel that we have been lied to or that information is being held back.
And we wonder why most of us have a trust issue. Because we do know when we are being lied to but we override this to play ‘nice’ or not call people out on lying. So inevitably the trust issue lies with us and no one else.
this is true Robyn, we can feel exactly what is true and what is not and not allowing ourselves to feel this is a big part of perpetuating the game we are playing.
Ha ha Robynjones11 though it’s not funny! I absolutely agree why would any one trust anything any of us say if we are always filtering what we say to a watered down version of what we really feel. It’s like we all need to go 1,2,3 tell the truth no holding back from now on, everyone. But we can’t and the only thing to do is do this ourselves and eventually we will be the norm!
I agree Abby having a truthful norm would change all the deceit that we all live under at the moment. We need to start by being honest with ourselves first, this is the first hurdle we have to overcome, as we do not always want to see the web of lies that we have created by not being honest in the first place.
Spot on Abby and Alison. Bringing back a ‘truthful norm’ starts with us all individually healing our hurts and being honest about the web of lies we have created up to this time. The web can be dismantled in a moment once we commit to absolute truth.
Touche, Robyn. We’ve created quite a ‘merry-go-round’ of hurts for ourselves, one feeding the other and then that one, the other …… It’s well and truly time to get off and face the music and simply be with each other with honesty and love.
It is absolutely time to get off the merry-go-round and take responsibility for the hurts we have taken on, by bringing honesty and love to ourselves as we expose them.
Brilliant. Thank you, Robynjones11. This cuts through my alleged confusion about why I have not trusted people – my own knowing that I have ‘betrayed’ myself.
I just got completely stopped when I read this comment Matildaclark. There is so much in these 2 sentences. Our own betrayal, our own choice to step away from what we know is true from then on affects every relationship we have. It totally confirms that our relationship with ourselves determines all others.
Yes Vicky, the relationship with ourselves is essential. It was never taught to me until I attended workshops by Universal Medicine. Once I understood there was one to be had, the journey began to discover, nurture and learn to love me again, which changed and deepened the relationships I now nurture with all people.
Yes this is a great realisation. I had never thought about it before as ‘betraying’ myself but it is so true.
Robyn I totally get what you are saying, we don’t trust ourselves because we don’t allow ourselves to deeply feel the truth even though we know exactly what the truth is. We continue to play this role of not being aware, we are fully aware all of the time – this is our designed natural state – we choose to dis-connect from it and this is what creates the dis-trust.
That is exactly it, Natalie, thank you for expanding on this so well. We feel the truth in every moment, honouring that and allowing ourselves to be aware of what we are feeling builds trust, trust in ourselves. Therefore supporting us to return to our “designed natural state” of connection and awareness.
This is so true. It is like we dismiss the truth and then of course we can’t help but distrust ourselves and then everyone else.
Natalie what you say really makes sense. We can’t complain of not getting the truth when we withhold, or should I say pretend we don’t know it ourselves. We are complicit in this merry-go-round of lies. Its like we are all waiting for someone else to go first. We have to start with ourselves. I know for myself I don’t want to stand out and be noticed, and this often make me keep quiet. It sometime feels so obvious, its like that story where the emperor is parading down the street naked and no one says a word until a little boy says he’s got no clothes on.
A great point Robyn, we are aware of everything, though pretend we are not.
And we are in the habit of pretending we are not aware which allows the dis-trust to build. Whereas when we commit to being aware again we begin to confirm we have this natural ability which allows us to build up a consistency, ultimately leading us to re-trust ourselves and therefore others again.
That is another thing… the pretending that we are not aware that we are being fed half truths and lies. We perpetuate the dis trust if we are not committed. It feels like the key is to begin to clock it and just say something. Even one thing that confirms that we may feel something is not being expressed.
Agree, not speaking the truth leads to a trust issue. People can just feel when we are not receiving the truth. We call it then lies or double agendas. I realize it takes two to tango: one to speak the truth, the other to speak up when it doesn’t feel truthful. It is worthwhile to practice this in a world where being nice and covering things up is prevalent.
Speaking up is also key to confirming the truth that we feel, whether we do this out loud or just to ourselves. This confirms the truth of what we feel as well as gives us the opportunity to not take on anything that is untrue. This builds trust with ourselves and gives us the foundation to trust what we feel.
So true Robynjones11, all my life I have had trust issues, never trusting others, when in fact I could not trust myself, because in disconnecting from my body, I no longer was able to discern truth, and as a result, I absorbed everything, took on others emotions and became completely lost. Now thank goodness, I have learned (still unfolding) to observe and not absorb…..
Beautifully said, jacqmcfadden04. Magic happens when we come back to ourselves and observe rather than absorb.
It’s a great point, that the real issue is in the lack of trust we have for ourselves which then holds back our true expression. Even if the world throws tricksters and charlatans our way, if we trust ourselves and continue to confirm the truth we feel we are rock solid.
Totally agree Robyn, we are responsible for feeling the truth and can never truly be victim to being lied to.
So true katechorley, we can never truly be a victim of anything really, as this is a choice we make, and we can easily make the choice not to be one.
Very well called out Robyn – your last line – “So inevitably the trust issue lies with us and no one else.” – is so true… and it made me ponder on the lies we tell ourselves. The little white ones or the big blinding ones – to justify how we’re living, our choices… the greatest trust issue that we have is that we don’t commit to truth in full…
Absolutely Brooke, and when we choose to commit to truth again we begin to trust ourselves again. It is the consistency of this that allows us to then strengthen our trust as we know that we will honour what we feel to be true no matter what.
It’s the flip side of the same coin. On one side I am not delivering the truth in which case I am lying, and on the other side the other person is lying. However if I deliver the truth to the other person and call them out, we have the opportunity for true wealth in the relationship
Someone has to bring truth first. When we know and live truth then it is our responsibility to bring it and offer others a way out of the lies. Whether that is by saying something or simply just being ourselves. Truth is felt always because we all know truth deep within, which is why we actually have trust issues in the first place!
Yes Robyn I hear you. . The trust issue lies with the person not being told the truth and the person not feeling they can tell the truth. We all have the trust issue and we are all responsible for it.
Spot on Robyn, we do know when we are being lied to or when something just doesn’t feel right/true, but to fit into the picture of being ‘nice’ or not wanting to call people out on lying – we choose to ignore our feeling and lie to our self and the world.
I always really struggled when my son didn’t want to go to his friends’ homes anymore. I respected his decision but could never bring myself to say that he didn’t want to go; rather, I said he had something else on – a family lunch …. . I felt very uncomfortable at these times, hoping that the message would get across without my having to say the words, which is interesting. If I’m wanting the other person to know the truth, so they understand, why am I not prepared to say it? Because I don’t want to hurt their feelings that my son doesn’t want to go to their house ….. this is exactly why we have got ourselves into such a mess, because we’ve been avoiding the truth for so long. There was a reason my son didn’t want to go, it didn’t feel good being there, he was honouring how he felt and I should have done the same by being honest, with love.
Absolutely Vanessa – sometimes making everything ‘nice’ and positive is harming, both to you and your addressees. Saying half truths is a form of lying, and doing this can completely change the quality of a meeting or conversation by putting you on top as superior because you are the one with the information and knowledge that you withhold from everyone else. Holding back can be deadly.
Absolutely Toni, ‘Truth is the same as Love’ Expressing truth was something I shied away from for most of my life and all the reasons you give. Last year, I finally broke this cycle and for good. When I heard Natalie Benhayon say ‘when we hold back, we hold everyone back’ it was an ‘Aha’ moment, I felt I was given permission to change. Expressing truth for first time wasn’t easy. I went through all the stages of being ‘nice’ ‘not saying what I felt and needed to be said’. It was uncomfortable, picking through the false layers. I was shown that truth is full-hearted, not diluted, padded or made pretty to make it easier for others. I resisted and resisted and then broke through and spoke from my heart with clarity and love. This was this was a major turning point in my life, a burden lifted, a new sense of freedom held in my body and my life back.
I find it so interesting to see how the confusion and sometimes the chaos that plays out from holding back. This is a very old pattern of mine, constantly reading situations to find the appropriate words to subdue any tension, which actually just creates a mountain of tension inside that I then have to go deal with. There is a point however when we can say – enough, and begin to take those brave steps in to the unknown of speaking the whole truth and seeing what happens then, like a brilliant experiment with life itself.
I have found that myself also Elizabeth, the truth can be a reflection that is for yourself and can be more exposing personally than the person the truth was being told too.
I can relate to that sjmatsonuk. Sometimes when I tell my children off about something I immediately realize that the words were mostly meant for myself.
So true Hannah – great point. As the unease that we at times experience, when we feel to share the truth we have connected to, is only due to us questioning what it is we feel and in essence know. But I am learning that our trust with this relationship within builds, when we choose to commit to simply honoring the truth of Love we feel(for us all) and express this, without attachment of the outcome of how it sounds or how it will be received. This feels far more nurturing and limitless than does the feeling that comes from dis-honoring and reducing our relationship with truth that we all know.
Offering another ‘everything I feel’ has felt like an imposition on others and I have doubted my ‘right’ or ‘place’ to express truly what I have felt. In fact what I have felt, I have often not had words to express, just a feeling that what was being said or done was not true. I am only beginning to understand that when I hold back I am abusing others and myself by not contributing my full expression. Expression also needs to be felt into because if it comes with an emotional charge it can be harmful too! What has supported me lately with expression has been to honestly express and in doing so be open to the learning that comes by sharing my vulnerability about it! Thank you Simon.
I always felt a little guilty when I bought into the whole idea of the tooth fairy and santa clause with my children. One day my daughter came home from school clearly upset after having been told by one of the children that santa clause was not real and when she asked us if this was true, we both felt we could not continue with the lie and we told her the truth. It was heartbreaking to see the huge look of disappointment on her face and she burst into tears. It still makes me feel so sad just recalling it.
Excellent point Carolien. Kids aren’t automatically born screaming ‘Christmas!!’, their parents are the ones who introduce it, and considering how much Christmas and that period of the year is associated with spending time with family, friends and relatives, eating big meals together and celebrating, a good question to ask would be – is it really for the kids or is it so the parents can tick their yearly list off, ‘grandparents’ check, ‘family time’, check and so forth?
Yes RachelMascord, the christmas lie is but one of many that are abound and there is a very widespread pact to play along and not expose those lies. Those who dare to speak truth and blow a hole in the smokescreen that clearly shows truth are being attacked on many levels, as our lies have become very precious to us and we cal them ‘our way of life’
Hi Susie, I can answer this one as my children were never led to believe that the tooth fairy or Santa Claus were real. In fact even though they knew we gave the money and the presents some of them if not all at some stage chose to go along with these popular beliefs as they are so push by the media even though they knew without a doubt that they were not true. I was devastated as a 6 year old when an old nun drove it home about how stupid it was to believe it these imaginary things and had felt like I had been made a fool of by my parents so was not going to do that to my kids.
Yes so true Rachel and the biggest lies of all are that this is all there is so we may as well make the most of it and that we are born and then we die and that is that.
So sad but so true Rebecca – it is just one of the many big set-ups that most of us fall for.
You are spot on Susie ‘This is a mess we have only gotten ourselves into because no one has stood up and claimed that this is in fact lying, and there are many other ways of celebrating with our children.’
Love this Elizabeth Dolan! ‘…it takes a real love and understanding of the power of truth to be able to express truth..’ I too am beginning to understand that developing my love of truth can only come from developing my relationship with it and understanding it’s power. No expression, short of this connection delivers my expression in full.
That is a beautiful consideration and I so agree Felix, Serge Benhayon is a living example of true friendship.
I have found although it may not feel like it on occasions, truth is the greatest form of love.
Its true, love must be present when truth is expressed. But love is not nice or good, love is love, and sometimes that may not match the expectations we have of what love looks like.
Ha, absolutely Heather. Love may not match the expectations we have of what love looks like. True love in expression can also shake you up very well or let you fall on you nose – but then you know where you are at.
Truth opens up honesty in all relationships even with ourselves and this is what responsibility is built on. Love and truth are one and the same. Thank you Toni for expressing in full for us all.
“The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.” This sentence really stood out foe me today. I can see that I am constantly having the truth reflected to me, it is evident in every conversation, every move I make, every feeling and symptom in my body. It does not make sense to deny the truth when I am living with the consequences day in day out whether I like it or not.
I love what you have shared monica2808. It reminds me that I am loved by God and looked after every step of the way.
It is beautiful to feel again the power behind these words Leonne Sharkey – “The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.” and to acknowledge that even though we choose to ignore the truth it is the truth none the less. As you say ‘It does not make sense to deny the truth when I am living with the consequences day in day out whether I like it or not’ and this only points out to me how stubborn and perverse we have become. As I allow myself to feel fully the consequences of living this way, I am also seeing the truth and by so doing opening up a way to more fully express all that I need to express and to not hold back for fear of rejection or recognition.
Reblogged this on florisvanderschot's Blog.
This is such a profound article. Whatever we don’t express, if we feel to express leaves actually a tension in our bodies. So imagine if we’re not expressing love where our innate being is love, how much we have to surpress ourselves every day to continue the pattern that we’ve chosen. It’s time to acknowledge the stubbornness and let the love out. Because the illness and disease rates are showing us that there’s something not right with our ways of living – or could I say – dealing with life.
I appreciate and relate to what you’re describing here Ilja. It’s a very delicate and sensitive subject. Especially for men. I can say for myself that I’ve been controlling in so many ways towards others that I would never ever have dared to look into in the past. And from that ignorance and arrogance arose explosions of anger every now and then. And all because I didn’t choose to let love out, express what’s going on. Currently I’m actually starting to feel that whenever I choose to close off my heart for someone or somebody that this deeply effects the other one. Even when not with me. Which makes being expressive not only possible, but a very necesarry step to implement, come back to everywhere we go. Love is to be expressed in schools, at home, at work, everywhere we go basically. And when we don’t, we will continue to rise the numbers of abuse, terror, attacks, war, illness and disease, etc.
absolutely Jenny it creates a false sense of harmony that in truth is just a state of peace but underneath all is felt.
Yes it is quite a revelation to understand that we all know everything… it is just a choice how much awareness we have of that everything!
I am learning more and more that when I do not express when there is something to be said, especially when it is something I think may not be welcomed that it immediately brings me in to my mind and into stories. it may seem that by not speaking up the harmony is safeguarded but really there is no harmony at all because what i feel is still there, the fact that I am not expressing is felt by both parties and the stories there after are creating a separation between myself and the other.
Expressing in full is an ongoing learning for me and what struck me in particular about your blog was the line ‘We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.’ It made me realise that truth and intimacy go hand in hand without truth there can be no true intimacy.
Floris van der Schot I felt your fragility and tenderness in your comment, and your beauty and honesty which has led you to express in your truth . Life is indeed truly beautiful when we ‘ just be’.
Thank you Merrilee. I clearly see that I am building that momentum of fragility and expressing lovingly. It is so different that is has been before. There’s so much more ease and lightness now. I’m really allowing myself to feel how I just LOVE people and LOVE being with them, LOVE working together, LOVE caring for them. Allowing myself to feel this is huge, it makes life spontaneous, without having to proof anything, not having to find reasons to be able to care, not having to compare, etc. There’s a natural joy and appreciation coming with it. This to me is absolute Gold! And the effect its had on people is so profound, it creates literally so much stillness and space. By me simply being me… Yoohoo.
Expressing in love is an art which evolves from the love and steadiness from which I allow myself to live.
When I surrender to who I am and then express, what I say is not for me but what is needed. This is my part, my contribution to humanity.
I had not considered the opportunity for intimacy that arises when two people allow themselves to express in full. For in full presence and acceptance, we can allow ourselves to be seen in the essence of love that we are.
Great example Alison, making it about the opportunity for deeper connection. I have developed patterns around protecting myself from particular people, feeling that if I let them in, they’ll overtake me. Gradually I am developing the confidence and self love to be able to be open but also clear, and not joining them in an anxious energy.
I can strongly relate to what you have shared Toni; the frustration, anxiety and loss of confidence experienced as a result of not expressing, feeling less than the other, ‘who am I to say this to them?’
I can see clearly that I developed a theme as a child to be right (perfect) and be liked because I had abandoned my connection to being me from a very young age. So in re-learning to express what I feel, the feelings arise of ‘maybe I will upset them’ or ‘it will be too confronting’, the fear being that they will then not like me or reject me, which feels like a death.
Confirming and knowing who I am allows me to feel increasing confidence in expressing what I see and feel and the ability to hold my steadiness and openness in receiving the response or reaction. And if they do not like what I have said or walk away from me, I can hold them and myself in love, knowing that it is not me they are rejecting and the truth of the expression will be left with them as an imprint and point of evolution.
Everyone avoids saying what needs to be said, hoping that it will go away and with it, the discomfort. But it leaves so many frayed ends, unresolved feelings and a tendency to want to numb ourselves from feeling anything. I am choosing not to live in this numbness anymore, I don’t want to press snooze anymore, I want to wake up and really live.
The power of truth offers a true reflection which enables evolution, so long as the the expression is from love.
A powerful comment Elizabeth. We have allowed ourselves to live in a twisted and watered down way, accepting increasing deviation from the truth. It is incredible when we commit to knowing and subsequently living, the truth of any one thing, from the love that we are. And this is something not to keep for ourselves but to share. Coming from this absoluteness, I can feel that expression becomes simple.
Hi Toni, expressing in full is a big one for me. Your comment – ‘We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full’, is so true when a truth is spoken. The intimacy and fragility that is present is uncomfortable and can open up so much more than we are aware is there, the choice is always there to speak or to push down the hurt. Breaking old patterns is something that when we do it, it also allows for another to receive a blessing.
It is an equally huge subject for me Fumiyo. My attempts to express truthfully have come from feeling less and unsure and so have come across with a charge and been felt as arrogant, critical, harsh, etc. I see it as a theme I have carried for eons as a reflection of how I have not claimed my responsibility and power. I am now embracing this awareness and knowing that my expression is a very much needed part of the whole.
“Understanding the power of truth to be able to express the truth” Elizabeth when we speak from this place I have found people are so attracted to hearing truth, it’s like every word is gold to there ears… when truth is spoken so many people are so open and ready to listen and feel this power.
Last night I held back from expressing how I felt about the way I was being spoken to, and and in truth am regularly spoken to. Instead I hardened a bit and backed away from the interaction, in fact away from the whole scene as quickly as politely possible, again as is becoming usual. This morning I am very palpably feeling the effects of this. My mind is racy with negative thoughts and it is harder to focus, my neck hurts, my hands are puffy, my breath is shorter than usual, and there is a low level anxiousness that wasn’t there before. I feel YUK! and so, inspired by your fab blog Toni I will breathe myself back to my confident gloriousness and gently broach the subject with my friend for I am strongly feeling the disservice and harm I am doing us both. I am also definitely feeling the truth of the opportunity not holding back offers us all to evolve.
The opportunities to evolve are there for all us in every moment, its a matter of choosing to see it that way, then feeling life as that and responding differently to our usual holding back calibrating ways. That is worth appreciating too Sandra Newland!
Absolutely Sandra, we all know when what has been said comes from truth, just as we also know when it has not, and in that moment the choice is forever there to respond in truth that naturally exposes what is not.
When we express in full we take a another step closer to God.
And others are offered the opportunity to receive God through our expression.
Beautifully said Victoria and Kylie. As to express the truth of our Love in full is to honor the oneness of the Love that we are all from rather than to confirm the separation from this Love by not expressing in full.
I have in the past been very truthful and direct with my expression… I soon learnt to curb that as no one was prepared for the truth and I know I wasn’t delivering my message with a foundation of love. The difference between being direct and truthful or expressing from love and truth has been an enormous change and support in returning to natural full expression.
Golnaz there is such truth and power in this comment. If we lived as you have described there would be many things that would change in this world.
I realise from reading this blog that quite often we think holding back the truth is about holding back something awful but it can also be holding back expressing how much we adore and appreciate ourselves and/or another, something no one would have trouble hearing if it is expressed in the moment it is felt. It is amazing how much discomfort we have in expressing the all encompassing love we feel for our brothers and the joy we feel in being together in this life.
I agree – when I tell the people I work with how much I love them, and how much I look forward to them coming in because it lights up my day, they themselves light up in response to someone recognising how amazing they are and expressing it back to them.
Beautifully shared Toni. It is so true that it is through expressing the truth in full that we deepen and confirm our connection to Love with each other. This is how we restore and build trust between us. When hold back expressing the truth we know from the Love we feel, we have in fact separated from this Love and the truth that we are all equal and that we all hold the within the all-knowing wisdom of Love.
Yes truth has a power many are not often used to, and yet deep down we do know – we feel it deeply even while we may not like hearing it. And that love and understanding you speak of Elizabeth is key as without we don’t truly express truth, we express right which is not truth at all.
Holding back from telling the whole truth was second nature for me. The need to keep the peace, to be polite, to be liked meant I seldom expressed in full but I always felt the consequences in my body. Yes Toni, Truth is Love.
Truth is absolute and it is easy to cause confusion when we hold it back by giving a watered down version of it.
True, simplesimon888, it is even mainstream to allow a person a lot of ‘faux pas’ in the name of love. But that is again not true. And this we may only allow because we ourselves are not consistent in expressing truth and therefore love.
It seems that there is a way to express truth which then does not come from reaction or judgement in order to be a healing for all parties involved. Understanding and love is indeed what is needed, Elizabeth.
‘In knowing that He is in me, all round me in every moment, always beside me and in every part of me and in absolutely everything’ so beautifully said we are God and God is within is us. We are all one.
“In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time”. I am really feeling this at the moment Toni about a situation in my life. Thank you for the clarity in what you are sharing.
I think what you’ve shared here is absolutely key Jenny – “Letting go being liked can feel huge but in truth it is nothing more than letting go a created image of what life/people/relationships should be like and allowing what is naturally there to express.” The difference between trying to control a situation to fit how we think it should play out or look as opposed to allowing it to be and just making sure of the quality we are expressing with.
Absolutely Cherise – for me too this makes complete sense.
I consider a person who expresses truth in full a true friend. And I assume this is why so many people around the globe call Serge Benhayon their true friend.
Great comment Felixschumacher.
Beautifully said Felixschumacher8 – I whole-heartedly agree. I deeply appreciate it when someone reflects and expresses the whole truth to me. Whether it be when I have wavered or when I am expressing truth, as it confirms the truth that I know within and invites me to deepen my relationship with All that I know I am. This is someone that I then deeply trust. Serge Benhayon is a true friend as from the first day we met I have been constantly inspired to deepen my relationship with my Love within and develop expressing the truth of this Love that we all are, with everyone.
Beautifully said, Felixschumacher8. You can feel the love when someone is offering the truth, with love. Even though we may not want to hear it and we may feel uncomfortable, not wanting to accept something, that deep down we already know anyway, hence the tension, the love it is shared with will also be felt. It is so very beautiful, you can feel that the other person loves you so much that they will not hold back sharing the truth, which we are resisting or choosing not to see, and it’s hurting us. That’s true love.
I agree felixschumacher8. Expressing the truth builds trust and this supports true relationships.
What a great observation, saying what needs to be said is a true friend, and I agree something to be highly valued.
So very true, Felix, well said.
Wow Simplesimon, feeling your translation into words of your holding back… ” I don’t care enough about time or you to offer you everything I feel”. Who are we to not give and be all that we are, at all times.?
I can feel the arrogance and self protection and separation all at once, here, of some of the thoughts or ‘pictures’ we carry around.
Depending on what false or damaged pictures we carry about life, love will reveal perhaps other ‘words’ and attitudes that may differ, but the effect is the same, devastation to all of us.
Thank you, a lot to keep feeling into here.
I love this Toni. A revelation for me in the words ” I now know, Truth is the same as Love.’
And ” If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another , and there is no sense in that” I can feel how you have come to a pragmatic, absolute understanding about not withholding.
Steffi, i find this interesting to ponder. ‘Even if I sometimes don´t say what I know is true, I radiate
it with every cell’… “I just feel, how much the other person is ready to hear, with no pandering though” i had never considered that it is possible to ‘ say it then only to myself I expressed it and the other person gets the energy of that, although no sound left my body’. I have always assumed that not holding back meant speaking it to the other.
What i feel here is an unwavering in your truth even though you have chosen in certain cases not to speak it. There is no doubt, no backing down, no watering it down to make it palatable, no internal process about it.
What I have often found is that when I only express half or a little bit of what I would really like to say to someone, they can tell that there is more that I want to say, or there is miscommunication and confusion, as what is said is not the whole truth, leaving room for misunderstanding, and that once I finally spit it out so to speak, it clears up the confusion for everyone involved!
Nailed it Kylie. that’s why most recognise when truth is expressed- we can feel it in our bones….Every part of us resonates with the sound.
Melinda this is at the crux of it all. So often the words might be ‘right’ but the energy behind it isn’t love and so it’s hard to get. So perfectly said…
Hm, so true Elizabeth. Everyone is used to the lies and so when truth hits it’s so different, yet as we all have had pretty much the same experience (holding back expressing) most understand or recognise It.
It comes down to this in all situations – are we expressing or holding back? I have for so long held back my beauty in fear of what other people may react with. Held back and expressed a ‘tiny’ voice. Thank you for presenting the healing for both parties when truth is expressed.
Your comment really resonated with me Monika and I could feel the truth of what you have said – we do feel everything in our body and the denial of this is only to our own detriment as we harden our body to hang on to our pride, rather than see the whole picture of where we are at and what we are doing. As we express more fully we accept our place in the world and expand to our true and beautiful selves that have always been there in our essence. We become our innate and amazingly wonderful selves and this is inspiring to appreciate.
Not only that but the short term gain never lasts, another and another instant always arises for you to address the truth you missed out on. Sometimes more confronting instances.
Thank you for exposing that holding back is an ill for both the receiver and the deliverer. “The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.” … And everything will always return to truth. It’s very confirming to feel that we feel everything!
It is an important point that holding back is an ill for both, and if I stop for a moment and reflect on not speaking when there is truth there to be spoken, I can agree it never feels very good.
Truth and Love have been bastardised in many ways. They, in Truth, have the power to unlock humanity from the foggy hold so many are in. Understanding their true meaning is key, and I thank Serge Benhayon for bringing these forth once again.
It’s interesting, we don’t express and hold back truth because we think it’s for the needs of another.. Yet what I have found is that when we do express and don’t hold back truth it turns out to be exactly what another needed… I agree, it’s definetly a truer way to be.
‘Devastation comes from withholding the truth’ – I could not agree with this more Toni. In every spoken word where we do not express the fullness of truth we allow less and confusion can manifest. This keeps humanity locked in a cycle of confusion and corruption that we all live amongst and in. Expressing truth is the only way out of this, and is a most beauty-full expression of Love.
Beautifully expressed Toni.. “We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.” there is an intimacy that developes between two people when truth is expressed, because as you shared, truth is the same as love. When we express truth there’s no guard up and it’s a tad vulnerable. Great blog. Really highlights how the whole world misses out when someone holds back their expression.
I agree steffihenn – it needs to be expressed in what ever form is required, and this is not always words. Yet when we hold back it harms us.
Thank you for sharing this Toni. What strikes me with this, is that when we hold back our truth, how long the feeling stays with us. We have had to suppress something that was there to express and feels like it is trapped inside us. I have had this happen to me on numerous occasions and it always feels complete when I express in full, even if there is something to deal with following this expression, yet if I hold back, there is much more to deal with and then it has to be expressed in a different way.
“I now know, Truth is the same as Love.” Thank you Toni I love the way you have expressed the real damage of holding back our truth and the amazing feeling of expansion and love in our bodies when we choose to express in full.
Ain’t that the truth!
What a great point about the ‘short term gain’ of holding back on how we really feel in that we temporarily create a situation of seeming comfort (either for ourselves or for another)! For this short term gain, we suffer tension, anxiety, loss of confidence and frustration etc – crazy really when I think about it in my own experience, because the ‘seeming comfort’ is generally not so comfortable at all! Truth and expressing in full on the other hand is expansive, clear and feels so much different in the body, and it offers an amazing amount of healing and evolution, both for ourselves and for all others.
Wow Toni, this is awesome ‘Although I know the truth, I have sometimes chosen to ignore it, or reacted when someone has exposed it to me. I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.’
Very true Kylie, when we share truth, lovingly so, we are confirming that which is already known. It is therefore always our choice to express what is felt to be shared, when what is felt is true, and also discerned that it is what is needed.
Expressing ourselves in full sure is a joyfully expansive feeling Marika and the warmth I feel from you just reading this brings a smile to my face, and my heart.
It is really beautiful Toni, when we come to a place where holding back the truth (love) is so clearly felt in the body. What is there to be shared, if done lovingly so, offers both a point of evolution. When we hold back our expression, we are literally holding back evolution.
Agree Simplesimon, it’s like we are holding a cap on how much love can be expressed. But this, as you say, is devastating to relationships. No matter what, we always come back to what was unloving and have another chance to change how we were and hence make it more loving and evolutionary.
It does hurt inside, Annie. I’ve often known when friends don’t speak truth, and felt it as a hurt. So giving and receiving less than the truth hurts both parties.
I am very familiar with this feeling. Every time, I think I can get away with holding back, I always know that I have done so for the sake of not rocking the boat and avoiding confrontation. It happens particularly with my family. This is strange because I do love them, but then why don’t I share an opportunity for growth? What sort of love is this that keeps each other in the prison of comfort? Is it love at all? People are going through different things at different times and there is a need to be sensitive to what another is ready to hear. It’s not about preaching or converting. All these things go through my head when trying to say the ‘right’ thing. When we do speak from love and get ourselves out of the way, all these things get taken care of. Speaking from the body, we are impulsed to say precisely what the other is there to hear. It’s like the words are not owned by us. They were already the other person’s words coming back to them through me. I can only deliver as much love as I live.
Yes Kylie, everyone feels absolutely everything.
Yes Toni, no-one wins when our expression is held back. We stand in no mans land, a barren territory that doesn’t yield or grow anything. I have felt the effects of holding back in my own life and relationships, and have experienced that the joy of expressing more leads to even more that I can express.
I hadn’t considered that by choosing to hold back the truth I am also not supporting others to express truth. This seems so obvious now. I can see it has been convenient for me to see holding back as being nice or supportive of another when it is the exact opposite. This false belief keeps me in my comfort zone so it is great to have it busted in this article.
Yes Esther, it is a war zone when we don’t express. Our whole bodies are designed to express from truth and when we don’t, we can get sick. It’s only that we don’t often make the connection that sometimes that odd sore throat could simply be what are we swallowing rather than expressing?
I agree Gill, how is it that we would rather hold back from truth than express. Hold back and feel how awful it is all to avoid reaction. But which truly hurts more….i will go with holding back. When i do express the truth, i actually feel amazing and am not affected by the reactions because truth is all holding!
I agree Simplesimon, holding back is devastating to our relationships as we never get the chance of experiencing true intimacy which comes from expressing our truth in full no matter what.
I very much relate to your sharing Toni, I too used to hold back my expression for fear of making another uncomfortable so was very good at watering everything down and go into my head and carefully choose the words so I could still say something and still be liked by the person but this created not only a deep frustration in my body it was like a time bomb as the more I chose to hold back the more destructive the effects of it were in my body and those around me.
This is something that is becoming more tangible to me now too. When I feel there is an instance to express everything there is to express and don’t there is a huge tension in my body.
I have been learning the difference to express all of me and not hold back, versus not imposing either. We can connect to ourselves and feel what there is to be said, say it and then have no investment about the outcome of the conversation. Whatever the other person takes from it is their choice, but when we express in full, they have the choice to make.
I agree, Jeanette, it helps, not only to allow ourselves to read people, but to know that we can express with love what needs to be said. The more sensitive we get, the more we can feel when our words are laced with any fear, doubt, need or expectation of an outcome.
I have been a people pleaser, a keeper of the peace, honestly terrified of confrontation.
I have simply adopted ways and means that allow myself to be less than who i really know i am and in this i have confirmed others in their untrue faces.
The cyclical nature of life means i have infinite opportunities to turn this around, to breathe my own breath, connect to what i know is true and stay with it whatever the consequence.
To express the truth with another in honesty and without emotion , definitely can make a difference to the person hearing it or not. In the past I had to build up to speaking the truth from a fear of rejection or anger, therefor when I finally did speak it was laced with emotion and the inevitable happened! Since learning more about self nurturing and true love I have made changes that don’t involve emotion thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon.
Well said Rosie.
Well done Naren, the lies we tell and are told to tell when young then do create such a tension within us that rather than deal with it as you have done, we continue on lying and thus not living true.
I like this reminder Jenny, that many times it is the pictures we have of pretty much everything that stops us from saying what is there to be said.
I agree Toni, holding back not only thwarts our expression it also means it holds back the other person from hearing what they needed to hear at that time. I also find that when I do not say something, it ends up playing on my mind and I cannot let it go. Whereas when I simply express what is there to be said then the moment completes itself and I do not then go over and over it in my mind thinking I should have said this or that!
I can relate to much of this Toni and I love being reminded that if I hold back truth I am holding back love.
Toni you share so powerfully how we all have a responsibility to deliver truth. I have resisted for a very long time delivering to others what I know to be true simply because it would ‘hurt their feelings’
And in this resistance, I have harboured so much tension that I have no doubt they can feel. So as you share – when we hold back it is more harming than expressing in full and allowing the other person to express equally back. We know the truth of not expressing – it is our responsibility to be that reflection.
‘I now know, Truth is the same as Love’ – this beautifully encapsulates what we feel when we express our truth with sensitivity and understanding. I feel I often hold back on my truth or otherwise feel my truth and then express it without fully connecting to my body, the result being that the words spill out of my mouth are an already formulated agenda with an eye on the expectation and result. When I connect to my heart and allow for expansion and space there is room for mutual understanding and love, and to expand and allow the situation to evolve.
I really relate to the time factor you have included here. It seems to have a hold on us, or so we think. In reality when we make time for ourselves and others in love and in truth, time has a way of expanding, of standing still, enabling all that is needed to be done to be done.
Toni I was considering what you share “I thought it was my responsibility to not say too much, so the other person did not feel awkward about what was there to be said.” and seeing how many times I try and calculate what I say. However recently more and more I’m finding a new freedom in expressing what I feel no matter how I feel someone will react – its certainly not perfect but I can feel my body has a deeper quality of sleep at night when I’ve not held onto things I felt to say during the day.
Great Article Toni and all so true, thank you for sharing this. Not expressing our truth really hurts our bodies and trying to be nice or say things in a roundabout way but not fully simply does not work, for underneath we all feel everything and know everything anyway.
Honouring what we feel and expressing our truth is the only way to true health, vitality harmony and joyfulness within. This is an amazing thing to work on in our lives and reimprinting our true expression is a loving way to grow.
I’ve felt this too Nicole… There are times when I either hold back from expressing or say something that is a little harsh or blunt that leaves me feeling crippled too. I have also had those experiences of telling someone later or calling them to apologise for not saying the whole truth during our initial conversation. What I’ve found from doing this is that often the things we hold back are quite silly, and the other person tends to respond in a different way than we might first think.
Very true Amina. Our expectations are often false and deceive us, but of course we don’t get to see this because of how we control situations and manoeuvre life in a protected way, pre-determining everything that will happen.
Toni – I can so relate to this feeling, ‘In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety’, in the past I have held back truth, not trusting what I feel and not wanting to upset anyone, wanting to be liked, but if I have not said what I felt to say then this feels simply awful in my body and I go into my head criticising myself and it is so not worth it. When I do express what I feel to say it feels amazing, I feel expanded and actually if I have stayed steady and not said what I feel in anxiety but with love then this is often heard and understood by the other person and often appreciated.
Thank you Toni. This is huge. I have done this a lot and know what a mess it can create. An internal mess of confused feelings because basically lies have been told – anything that is not true is a lie – and that confusion extends to others also. Other people know when we are not telling the truth but choose to accept the lies because it is more convenient. Expressing in full the truth of who we are in the love that we are serves us all freeing us from the padded cell of our self-made prison.
Very true, Nicole. Our body will always tell us very clearly what works and what does not.
A beautiful sharing with us all Toni – So many years I held back from expressing in full. I can so relate to what you have expressed/shared here. Carrying the incompleteness of sharing/expressing with another lies heavy within the body – this body of expression which is so finely tuned to feel everything that we choose to live (or not). It is such a beautiful thing to share in full with another and in return to feel the healing that takes place and an ever deepening connection to humanity.
This is awesome Toni and I can so relate to your sharing of why we hold back the truth, water it down, be selective about which bit to share etc. And in my experience I have learned that all of this hurts, not only the person we are holding back from but ourselves, and going for short term gain is totally futile. Hearing the truth may be uncomfortable and rock our world at times but always offers us an opportunity to learn and to grow, and of course we always have a choice to listen, or not.
Very well expressed Ingrid and you are so right when you say it can be uncomfortable at times – it just shows us that we love our comfort more than truth.
It’s interesting that you mentioned Santa Claus Toni, as this is one of the first big lies that is revealed to so many children. So many things just didn’t add up when I was a child, how did he manage to deliver presents around the world, how could he get down a chimney, I always felt that something wasn’t right. What Santa Claus does is set us up that somehow it is ok to make up lies because it is a bit of fun and there is no harm, but children know truth and they do not like to be lied to and your line here confirms this, “In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.”
So true Alisonmoir. I also know of many adults feeling awkward lying to children whose carer’s are telling them about Father Christmas because they don’t want to upset the carers. When I worked in schools I got caught in feeling I didn’t want to lie to children knowing this was abusing their trust in not just me, but in people in general. If they couldn’t trust this adult who could they trust?
When I hear adults complain children lie to them I ponder about the many ways adults lie on a daily basis (the discounting of their true feelings, the show people can put on to cover insecurities etc) all of which children see too. I know I have my work cut out being honest with myself as a start.
‘Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?’ Yes Toni everyone loses when we choose not to express in full because of fear of how the other person may react. I have spent my whole life holding back and now need to remember to treat myself gently as I change this pattern of behaviour and sometimes make mistakes.
“I thought it was my responsibility to not say too much, so the other person did not feel awkward about what was there to be said.” I so know this one too Toni. It is actually the perfect set up for us all to not express the truth. I feel inspired now to express more of what I feel is true in my day.
Yes well said simplesimon888. It is a matter of time before the truth will come to light anyway, as that is the funny thing about truth, it will stay and be there until all the lies are exposed. But as you say it can be done now and not ‘in time’.
The truth in what you and Simon express here, Lieke is gold. The richness and power of these comments and the whole subject of expression is truly healing and evolving for everyone. The truth just is and we dance around it with the falsities but as you say, it does not go away because it can’t! It just IS. Thank you.
“I held back because I was worried about how the other person might respond.” How many times a day do we do this? I know I have done it so much that at times I have lost all sense of myself and all because I want to make the other person feel comfortable. Yet, I have hurt myself in the process. The ridiculous thing is that when I have spoken up it hasn’t turned out to be the disaster I think it will be, only it has offered the opportunity for greater understanding on both sides.
I had a situation yesterday where I was chatting with a family member about a particular topic which I have held back on many many times before. Yesterday was a different experience where I offered what was there to be said in full. It felt incredibly easy to do because I didn’t think about it, I stayed connected with my body and the words just poured out. This is vastly different from when in the past when I have held back, it has felt painful to do so. I knew and felt what was being said was challenging, however by not holding back I knew there was a beautiful healing taking place. We both became vulnerable in our communication and there was a level of intimacy which was deeper than I have felt for a long time.
I do agree that we can all feel it when there is holding back Toni. In truth it has become a ‘normal’ thing to do and maintain the ‘status quo’. When we start to see the life created by living this way it’s pretty ugly isn’t it. A life with no one expressing truth in full and therefore a life without Love.
What I have found is that when I express in full, my body opens up and I feel energised. When I hold back, I feel contracted and somewhat robbed. I have also noticed that I actually have to pull in a force and it takes more effort to hold back than to express. This has been a big realisation and the key for me is not to be attached or be concerned as to what people think when I express but rather trust that what is there to be said is there for the evolution of that person.
Simply and lovingly expressed, Cherise.
I can relate so much as to why you held back from expressing the truth, Toni. It is something I have done so much in my life and if I had I more often than not experienced conflict and rejection, which re-enforced my belief that it was better not to say anything. However, to do so never felt right nor did the conflict so ended up feeling disempowered, frustrated and angry. With the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have come to realise my feeling of holding back came about from my lack of self-worth and fear of rejection. Also when I did attempt to express what I felt was true I would become defensive and argumentative when challenged and hence it was I who caused most of the conflict. The more I heal my personal issues so I am increasingly able to lovingly express truth without personal investment and so conflict arises far less frequently.
Yes that is so important Rosie for us to remember we are not in an expression exam, we don’t have to be perfect, we just need to have a go. At times I have had to ‘nut it out’ a bit with my nearest and dearest, but we always get there in the end, richer for our expression and honesty, closer because we care about one another. The more we practice the more natural it becomes, the more we share ourselves and grow together.
Yes, sometimes the nutting it out as you say can bring up other stuff too but it is so great when we support each other to work through it all. The more openly and honestly we share, the more others can understand and just understanding can change so much.
I have found that by not wanting to tell a lie and burying the truth… by just not saying anything is just or more insidious than a half-truth or white lies. The old saying of to wear the other person’s shoes, what would you feel like if what you were doing… was done to yourself? There is an old phrase “do unto others”. When you speak from truth there is no comeback. The one that receives the truth has the choice of what to do with it.
This conversation reminds me of the saying ‘It is easier to give than receive’. My greatest learning has been to receive truth expressed in full and with love and realise that it is a truth I already knew but hadn’t chosen to be aware of. With this understanding I am learning the responsibility to express my truth with others.
This article made me realise how wrong it is to be lied to just because you are a child even if it is the old Santa Claus thing or how not being straight up with your children only breeds mistrust as they can feel it if we try and pull the wool over their eyes.
They absolutely do kevmchardy, they feel it all. And when we lie it makes them question their own knowing…and this is devastating, I’ve felt it for myself!
That is a great point Jenny, knowing ourselves fully is an important part so in-turn knowing whether we are expressing fully or in part means we get to understand much more on what is actually going on with us. Taking the time to really understand ourselves is the part I have been working on as this I now see as fundamental.
Yes Amina, knowing our reactions are not based on truth is pretty key… and something Serge Benhayon has pioneered in his teaching from a perspective that we are not our reactions or emotions, but that our essence comes from and is synonymous with truth. Hence knowing what we are connected to and whether it is our essence or not… is fundamental.
This is also what I experience. It just needs the honesty and love, leaving out any judgment. The expressing itself becomes a healing. I can feel that in my body. The hurdle for me is the idea how others might react. I then tell myself it is worth saying it. It just takes some courage in certain situations. How wonderful it is when for both me and the other it becomes a healing.
I love the simple truth of what you’re sharing here, Kylie. How often have I thought to myself that the other person ‘won’t understand’ ….. if I’ve understood, then equally, so can they, therefore, why wouldn’t I give them the opportunity to do so. They may not choose to understand, but that’s different, that’s their choice to make, once they’ve been given the opportunity to make that choice.
‘I now know, Truth is the same as Love’ – Beautifully expressed, Toni.
When we hold back on expressing our truth in full, we are holding back on love. Which is essentially like saying to someone, I don’t love you enough to give you the whole truth’. So, when we think we’re ‘sparing’ someone by not delivering all of what we’re feeling, we are, we’re sparing them of our love.
“I now have the understanding that it is so important to express in full so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort”.
This is a great blog Toni, thank you, there are many points to ponder on.
I know that it is our responsibility to ensure that we deliver truth from an energy that is undeniably love.
Thanks for reminding us that by holding back from expressing in full (either to ‘protect’ the other person in some way, or because we don’t value what we have to share) both parties miss out on the “…intimacy and fragility..” that such a sharing can offer.
‘When not telling the truth there can appear to be a short term gain, such as not creating upset, which allows a more comforting scenario to play out’ – well said, Toni. By not expressing our truth in full, we are enabling our selves to stay in comfort, but at what cost ……
Double hands up Toni I have found myself ‘watering down’ the truth – essentially to be liked and held in esteem with another. The falseness that this supports does not help anyone and we all feel slightly deflated. I am practicing calling out what I feel and need to say and whilst not easy the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has allowed me to make steps to making expressing truth my everyday lived experience.
Whenever we have something to express, it is usually for someone else to hear. If we are full and complete with ourselves we naturally feel others and can feel how they are, If we make the leap into expressing the glory of what we know is truly connecting then the other person receives a healing and we are confirmed in our expression. Expressing less than this is holding onto a bit of truth, to not let it all out, but it is always felt. This ‘holding back truth’ creates illness in our body, by the compounded energy of holding back the natural expression that is impulsed by God. Every time we hold back truth, love, communication and Joy, then we all miss out.
A great comment HarryJwhite,
If we truly feel to say something we not only harm ourselves, but the others who were present that needed to hear what we had to say. We have no idea how far reaching our expression is, for what we say may well bring great healing to another.
I don’t think it is widely known that truth is always felt, even if not consciously known. And so fully expressing that fact here Toni, means many people will now be aware of this fact, which is a great thing. Brings in responsibility for one’s actions, regardless of who’s watching.
What a clear exposé telling us that our bodies are here to assist us expressing truth and not anything else. That is why it feels strange to hold back what we’ve felt and it also explains why we have so much illness and disease going on in our bodies.
This is so true – it does feel awful when we hold back from expressing the full truth, because if only part is expressed then it is not truth at all. We are lying.
Dear Toni,
I deeply appreciate your blog. For I too have held back from fully expressing what I feel to share, for all the reasons you share here. When I don’t fully express I feel immediately that I have lessened myself, and have put the person or people before what I feel is true and this makes me feel horrible. This for me is now something that I do way less than I used to, as speaking in full feels so beautiful in my body, my voice resonates in every cell when I do so. There are still areas in my life though where I have to be very still and connected, (for the patterns of old where I shrink from and hold back what I have to say are being presented to me constantly). Making instead the constant choice to claim my fullness my love and that in my love there is wisdom to be shared for all.
‘We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.’ This is so true Toni and it is serves us well to remember this when we are feeling the conflict between holding back out of fear of the other person’s reaction and speaking fully. The intimacy that can arise from both meeting in truth is precious, expressing in full gives this opportunity – although it may not be the outcome of course!
Thanks for this Toni. When we hold back the truth, in truth it is not really for the other at all although we may tell ourselves it is. We hold back because we fear their reaction and so it is really all about self. The key I feel is to know how to deliver that truth to suit the circumstances and I know I will only learn that through practise, in the understanding that I might not always get it right!
This is truly a pearl of a blog Toni, thank you for sharing this with us.
‘In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.’ This too is my experience and I am discovering this can come in so many forms. Not simply what we say or do not say to others, but little choices we make in our own actions and responses to other’s actions. Whilst we may feel hurt by another, it is our unloving, untruthful responses to that hurt, that leave us feeling more hurt and devastated.
Well said Michelle.
Thank you for writing on such an important topic as expressing our truth. I can relate to having held back most of what I want to say, most of my life and am just learning and feeling the importance of not holding back and how this effects everyone and us. What it also says to others is that it is ok to only express so much and that if you say too much then you will hurt others – how crazy is that. What if we were brought up to say what we feel unfiltered but without malice, how different would our communication be then – I suspect less would be hidden and if it was we would feel relaxed enough to call it out.
Yes Julie, and we would also get to feel our sameness and not our separation which not speaking out endorses.
It totally cracks the façade and this can sometimes be quite confrontational, even though it may be delivered in a non-confrontational way. Just truth being expressed is difficult for people.
What you say here, Tracy, about truth being expressed being difficult for people exposes the madness of what we accept as normal. It makes no sense really and yet it is the way most of us live. Then truth has to be provided in the end by the reckoning of our bodies. I find your statement profound.
For too long we have all been accepting what is not normal and when truth presents itself, often through our bodies, our pride and past hurts are triggered. I feel people are scared of the truth as we have seen many people persecuted for speaking it and the pain of this is still held in our bodies. The pain of not speaking the truth though is even more damaging and we must all work together with understanding and compassion to allow truth to become the norm in this world. If we continue to play ball with the lies we will just go round in circles seeing more wars, poverty, corruption, disease and illness and simply keep repeating the same old patterns. It is time for true change, before great calamity comes to our bodies and mother earth.
Great blog Toni, you are right it is up to us to express the truth so that the world can move closer to a one unified truth, how else will we get there if we remain in a world of false niceness
and holding back expression through fear of who it might upset. For me I find this is still very much ingrained in me, its like a default nice mode I go into, not to ruffle feathers unless I am fully aware of what I am doing. Being 100% positive that what you are speaking is truth and having the confidence to get that truth across is another thing that I need to master.
Exactly ch1956 – If truth is presented with love, we are able to receive it and hear it as truth, however if truth is presented with the slightest doubt, holding back or is in any way measured, the message does not come with love and is no longer true truth – hence it cannot be heard or received.
Thank you Toni. Letting ourselves express in full is so important because as you say when we don’t we end up with so much inner tension that it affects our health and our relationships with people. We actually have a responsibility to express our truth because it is so freeing for everyone when the truth is told, even if we don’t like it at the time.
Natasha what I find intriguing is how people really love honest and truthful people, but sometimes this becomes tricky when that honesty is shared on a personal level. Humans seem to be more comfortable with lies than they are with the truth if that truth exposes something about themselves.
It’s a shame when the truth destroys relationships. It goes to show that we are very comfortable with living a lie and would rather lose people dear to our life than stop and feel what is truly going on and to have the love to work and heal through what needs to be dealt with.
here here, the lie that paves the way for truth to be stomped on, and squished into the ground. The lie that people hold on to so tight they will fight to the end to have in not exposed.
So true Fiona. It is understandable that we do not like the truth being expressed as it can stir up feelings of being silly, or hopeless etc. The biggest truths I’ve heard have helped me enormously and I’m grateful to the persons who expressed them and I’m grateful to myself for being open to seeing another way. Amazing things can unfold when we bring truth into our lives. It doesn’t have to be super scary if we are open to true healing and evolution.
Well said Tracy Aisbett – and if we are willing to hear truth we are naturally open to a deeper learning and evolution.
That’s right Eva. Amazing changes can enter ones world when we are open to the truth. Hearing the truth may be hard but living a lie is much harder in my opinion. Truth means a great deal to me so I personally love it when I hear it, even if it means something within me is being exposed. Bring it on I say.
Thank you Toni. I am learning, in baby steps, how to express in full. Even starting to write this comment, I am reminded that I have held a belief that when we speak the truth it means hurting someone else, or ruining things for people. This is not true. The truth as you say, is simply expressing in full and expressing the truth which is there to be expressed. I have often had times when I have held back in expression, and conversations have therefore never felt complete. Sometimes it has felt that I am holding back the truth, as though I am the only one who feels it. However, as you say ‘the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known’ So it is always felt by everyone, and is always there to be expressed.
Thank you, Toni, for your honesty in sharing and by doing so you have illustrated so clearly and beautifully that, “Truth is the same as Love.”
Truth is the same as love, so if we hold back our truth, we hold back our love. For ourselves and for others.
Yes. This is well said Mariette.
This feels true for me too Mariette love and truth are interlocked. Expression is the key to opening our hearts and speaking our truth.
Exactly Sara, so we seek distraction and/or comfort to keep us in denial of what we feel.
Toni this is a great thing to talk about because we so often hold back what we really want to say being nice or polite or worried how it will be heard. The truth is so much more caring really, because it lets tensions be sorted or lets a behaviour that isn’t great be looked at or just gets you and the other person to a clear understanding. It is confronting but so good too. I will take this blog with me and just check and see if I am saying exactly what is there or if I am watering myself down at all.
Absolutely true Kate, I feel the same. I know I have hold back in the past and still do at times, forgetting the actual truth of me expressing in full this I would have forgotten at that momemt because I have chosen a lesser form of myself in truth, so it always goes hand in hand. When I decide to not be less that day , I will express more fully.
I agree Kate Robson, talking about this is very important for many reasons. One of them being that holding back is pure poison in the body, we may not momentarily feel this, but the long term affect is very damaging.
Very true Eva, I have experienced this poison in the body as chronic pain for the past 3 years. I have done everything and sought the best practitioners in the world. It does not matter if my practitioner is the best for massage or esoteric chakra puncture, if I do not deal with why I hold back, this pain will not heal. Holding back what you feel is true is not love. A love that is naturally there to express. The point is we are innately grand and if our activity of expression does not match this, our body will show it; and, Why am I holding back?
I love what you shared Jennifer “This is an important reflection that I really need to allow myself to not only see but feel very deeply”. It is only when you allow yourself to feel really deeply no matter how awkard it feels the truth is there to be known.
“Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?” A great question Toni. I know I have held back, for fear of upsetting the other person, but am learning that if we express truth with love then it serves everyone. For me an important part is to have no investment in the outcome also.
Absolutely Sue, no investment is a big part of it. No investment whether the other person, gets it, dislikes you, thinks you are stupid, rejects you and I could go on. . . Expressing in full with love gives the other the opportunity to express also and I feel gives back to the universe whether they take the opportunity or not.
Yes Josephine, expressing in full with love! What works for me to express with love is to take my time to really express all that I’m feeling.
For me having an investment makes me want to control the outcome which stops me expressing in full in a true way and then when it doesn’t work out in the past I have felt justified to retreat back to not expressing what is there to be said because it didn’t work out so well last time. Taking responsibility for the energy I am in when I express shows me clearly whether I am coming from Truth or not.
So ‘true’ Sue “For me an important part is to have no investment in the outcome also”. So many times before I speak I am already calibrating what to say hence investing, instead of surrendering and allowing what is there to come. Thanks Sue.
I have to agree Karin Barea when I have felt something that might be true and then invest in it I have noticed on every occasion when I express it is not well accepted and not even heard. It might be amazing truth but not expressed with love because it was all about me.