Recently I had the opportunity to feel what it is like to not fully express my truth. I was in a situation where I had said part of what I felt to say, but I held back on what was there to be said in full. I held back because I was worried about how the other person might respond.
I thought it was my responsibility to not say too much, so the other person did not feel awkward about what was there to be said.
In holding back my full truth, I experienced a large amount of internal tension, confusion, a loss of confidence, and a feeling of frustration and anxiety. A lot of thoughts came up about what was right and wrong, such as:
- Maybe what I have to say will upset the other person.
- It may be confronting.
- Is it my place to say anything?
In all of this I realised that the other person missed out on hearing my expression in full and instead got a watered down version of what I thought was best to say. So in the end we both missed out.
I missed out on expressing what was there to be shared and the insight this sharing could have brought us both. We both also missed out on the intimacy and fragility that arises between two people when they express their truth in full.
Is it possible that by holding back my expression, the other person then missed out on having the opportunity to connect to, and express in full what they felt to share?
I now have the understanding that it is so important to express in full so we can start the process of coming to a common understanding of the truth together, even if this may create some discomfort.
Although I know the truth, I have sometimes chosen to ignore it, or reacted when someone has exposed it to me. I now know, Truth is the same as Love. If I do not express in full, then the truth is I am not being loving with myself or another, and there is no sense in that.
In my experience, devastation comes from withholding the truth, no matter how innocent and well meaning it may be at the time.
I remember as a young child I was deeply hurt when I found out Santa Claus was not true. I felt that every adult in the world had lied to me; this made it hard for me to fully trust adults and what they told me
When not telling the truth there can appear to be a short term gain, such as not creating upset, which allows a more comforting scenario to play out – letting myself be liked rather than being the apparent bringer of upsetting news. The reason that short term gain is so short-lived is that the truth is always deeply felt, even if not consciously known.
I have come to a greater understanding of Love, truth and expression through the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom and The Hierarchy presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. These teachings have inspired much grace and beauty in my life.
By Toni Steenson, Goonellabah, Australia