From a False Identity to Discovering the Real Me

Growing up as a young child, up until the age of six I lived in an environment of constant fighting between my parents. I could feel there was much anger and resentment between them. My siblings and I experienced physical violence and constant verbal and emotional abuse. My mother often lashed out verbally or physically in frustration, rage or resentment at us.

In hindsight, as a mother of two children myself, I can see that she would have been overwhelmed; not only with the daily work and responsibility of raising three small children, but also with her own feelings and emotions.

My father was happy to be working in order to support us financially, but I feel he had no clue about his role at home nor any idea about raising children. He left the responsibility of this to my mother. I saw that my father was equally unable to deal with her outbursts – he seemed powerless around her and either retreated or got angry and fought back.

I now feel how they both felt trapped: it seemed they were unable to communicate, and when they did, it was mostly explosive confrontations.

I often felt scared, sad and powerless… I certainly don’t remember the feeling of being cherished by my mother. I recollect some tender and light moments with my Dad, but there were also feelings of despair and helplessness from him.

My family situation showed me that everything was not ok. I felt insignificant and in the way. From my perspective now, I can see that as a child, not having a true nor whole sense of myself, I decided that I was not worth much and somehow at fault.

Why do we tend to do this?

  • Is making ourselves feel wrong and worthless the way we cope with the situation?
  • Perhaps by taking on the role that we are wrong is our way of being a piece of the puzzle, to make sense of a situation?
  • Is it because we are children and have no other way to see it or make sense of it?

We live for so long, often well into adulthood, behaving and living according to these deep beliefs we take on that are so far from the truth of who we are.

Could it be that we are in fact born wondrous and whole?

Knowing that I had issues to be addressed, I saw counsellors over the course of my adult life. However, it really wasn’t until I had healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners, and participated in their workshops and courses, that I began to understand and change how I saw myself, and how I live.

I came to see that many of the beliefs I had taken on and held were keeping me locked in emotions such as deep anger, struggle and helplessness. I came to understand how my identity, my behaviours and my relationships were shaped by these.

I felt shocked when I began to realise that I didn’t have much self-worth, although this made sense when reflecting on my lack of confidence, my constant self-doubt, and always looking to others for answers instead of considering that I could turn to myself and trust my own feelings and intuitions.

I was still identifying with the thoughts and beliefs that I had assumed for myself as a small child. The key way for me to break with them was to ask a lot of questions…

  • Could it be that I had no sense of myself because I was taking on the emotional turmoil of my parents?
  • As I don’t recall feeling cherished for being me, is it possible then that I had no reference for who I truly am?
  • And then was it true that, because I had no sense of me, that this meant I must be ‘nothing’ and worthless?
  • Is it possible that the beliefs I created from this experience became my accepted living truth and way of being?

Because these beliefs were so deeply embedded and embodied due to my living them as a false truth, it was very hard to realise that they were actually not true.

Being able to ask the questions, along with some of the obvious answers to these, showed me the possibility that something else could be true about me. Understanding this allowed me to examine long held beliefs and patterns. Learning about myself is an ongoing and unfolding journey.

What Universal Medicine has brought back into my life is not only supporting me to free myself from the false identity I had built and fully believed myself to be, but also shedding light on the naturally amazing me that I am.

Now that I have awakened to the fact that I am amazing and worthy of cherishing, I continue to take care of my precious body and self. I am joyously discovering how much more there is of me to love and appreciate, and what I can bring to this world.

The absolute gold that Universal Medicine has offered me is that the way back to my true self is found in honouring my body, and cherishing me – the amazing being I have always been.

By Anonymous

Further Reading:
Self-Esteem
I Am Amazing Just For Being Me
How Amazing It Feels to Be Myself

729 thoughts on “From a False Identity to Discovering the Real Me

  1. We are amazing divine, pure love and whole. We are born into a world that is not set up to support this fact, but to smash us apart. This “training ground” world is like a big experiment, to see how long we can be kept in separation. But like two ends of a magnet, the force of love is too strong and it is impossible to separate forever. The reunion is inevitable. In truth we are all pieces of the same big magnet. Thank you Anonymous you are living proof of this truth, as am I .

  2. ‘From my perspective now, I can see that as a child, not having a true nor whole sense of myself, I decided that I was not worth much and somehow at fault.’ Your words made me realise that for many this is still very true, and through childhood and adulthood lack of self worth dictates the choices that are then made, until lack of self worth is no longer an issue.

  3. Universal Medicine has truly played a great part in teaching me how to regain my own worth, and that I am actually all that I need to be. Through connecting more deeply with myself I have been able to make more loving choices, that have supported me in learning that true confidence comes from within.

  4. ‘Now that I have awakened to the fact that I am amazing and worthy of cherishing, I continue to take care of my precious body and self.’ There is such a massive joy in discovering just how precious and gorgeous you are, it’s one (of the many) amazing gifts I have been given through Universal Medicine.

  5. Discovering our true selves unfolds through honouring and cherishing the body and when we are willing to listen our body guides us to making choices that are truly supportive and reminds us to come back to our body when we have lost our connection.

  6. How our bodies feel to be in life is the way back to who we truly are and the love that is worth being a part of our lives – not just ourselves but everyone equally so. Thank you Anon for this reminder.

  7. I also started my inner search and path of healing very young, and it wasn’t until I came across the modalities presented by Universal Medicine that the true connection and was made with my inner heart, and that true healing started.

  8. The level to which I know I can trust my own feelings has been gradually increasing over the years, especially since attending presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. It takes so much effort to be in self-doubt and to look to others for the answers. It is a true gift and healing for ourselves when we trust and act on our own feelings and intuitions.

  9. So much of this family situation written about here I can relate to and everything started to make sense to me after attending the Universal Medicine courses, as they help people to look deeper at themselves and the situations around them. Ultimately we have the key ourselves which will unlock the parts of life where we feel stuck.

  10. How many homes in today’s world have the potential for far more love to be expressed both within and emanating from them but are not doing this because too many of us don’t know how to communicate and express our love for each other nor how to balance all our responsibilities and bring consistent care and steadiness to all that we do.

  11. Could it be that we are in fact born wondrous and whole? What a question… it should be posed to every child, and put on the wall of every home to remind us of who we truly are, and the amazing beings we welcome into our homes when we have kids.

  12. Your account of your childhood could be said to be the same for many, I could certainly relate. It is amazing that any of us make it through to adulthood but we do albeit as broken wounded shadows of our real selves. But as you say this we can turn around by learning to look inward and to cherish, appreciate and love who we truly are so as to break the cycle of lack of self worth once and for all.

  13. Connecting more with our body is an amazing tool for helping us see where we are holding beliefs or not being truly who we are. Otherwise as you say anon our habits and behaviours can be so ingrained that we identify with them as being who we are or just the way things are.

  14. This opening to a possibility that something else might be true is a valuable gold nugget. Like you, I have found it to be the key that unlocks from long held beliefs to be open to a new possibility. Once we build self-worth so many choices change, choices that affect our emotional and physical outcome. It is vital medicine.

  15. As an adult we have a choice to live as who we are, regardless of our upbringing. I remember in my 20’s traveling to another country for the first time and realising that life was not “like all the rules I had in my head”. From that day I began to realise I can choose my way.

  16. ‘The absolute gold that Universal Medicine has offered me is that the way back to my true self is found in honouring my body, and cherishing me – the amazing being I have always been.’ That there is something more to us than just being human and that there is a feeling in us that transcends time becomes more obvious as we begin to really cherish ourselves, deeply caring and loving ourselves.

  17. It is wonderful that you can now say you are amazing and worth cherishing but how sad that your parents could not see that and by them not seeing that you spent most of your life feeling worthless. Of course we cannot blame our parents, they tried to do the best that they could and they didn’t have the benefit of understanding the love that is available today thanks to Universal Medicine.

  18. This is one of the great gifts of the esoteric modalities “I came to see that many of the beliefs I had taken on and held were keeping me locked in emotions such as deep anger, struggle and helplessness.”

  19. From my perspective now, I can see that as a child, not having a true nor whole sense of myself, I decided that I was not worth much and somehow at fault.’ I think this is true for many of us as adults the responsibility lies with us to choose to reclaim the truth of who we truly are. It wasn’t until I came to the teaching of Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom I have been able to reconnect with and learn to love myself, feel my body and the just how sensitive, tender and responsive I am to the love and nurturing I now give myself because I know I am worthy of Love.

  20. The world is desperately searching everywhere form the new age to the bottom of a bottle for the true self, and it is there all along quietly resonating in the gentleness of our breath and in the depth of our inner heart

  21. Growing up for me had many fond memories, I had many brothers and sisters plus many, many cousins that were like more siblings and my parents were always telling me how amazing I was plus my Dad would cuddle me and had pet names from me, he would sing with me and dance with me and was always a warm memory in my youth. My mother my dearest friend that I told everything to and she never judged me, we laughed together and snuggled and I just loved them both so much……it all seemed so good, what could have gone wrong, well, something did go wrong, horribly wrong – What you might ask? Well here is a snap shot from age 10 up. I started to secretly teach myself to smoke cigarettes and pot at 10 years old, I was drinking alcohol by age 12, lost my virginity by age 13 and not long after was raped at a party. I became one of those girls at parties that would get drunk and then give head jobs in the bushes to guys I had been passing that night, yes, did I mention that I was taking ecstasy and acid trips at age 14, gong to night clubs and dating a 24 year old by the middle of the year, oh yes, it was that wild. So the moral to the story is, that even if you have it all, you can be missing the key ingredient and that is love, true love and that starts with self and then emanates forth. Livingness and energy are key to remembering our amazingness.

  22. “Because these beliefs were so deeply embedded and embodied due to my living them as a false truth, it was very hard to realise that they were actually not true.”

    That is the crux with beliefs, we are often completely unaware of them and it takes someone, who is completely free of this belief to reflect back to you that there is another way and then, if we are open to that person, but only if we are open do we start to get a glimpse and can actually feel that there is another way and can start to work on establishing that in our own lives. Quite a commitment to make but as is shared in this blog very much worth the effort.

  23. ‘The absolute gold that Universal Medicine has offered me is that the way back to my true self is found in honouring my body, and cherishing me – the amazing being I have always been.’ This is such a gift a way back to our true self.

  24. After reading this I feel the responsibility of living in a way that reflects the divinity we are all from to everyone. Many do not receive this reflection from their family or people who are around us as a child, and so it is vital for those who are rediscovering the truth of who they are to let it out, let it be seen and walked wherever we go. You never know who is watching, at the supermarket, petrol station etc.

  25. These patterns we take on from life become a configuration that is held in the body that runs like a default track. When true healing takes place these patterns are released from the body allowing our bodies to return back to harmony.

  26. It’s very interesting how as kids we are so apt to deciphering what movements to make that will suit another or make things easy/comfortable – Almost as if we have had training to do so!

  27. What you share here offers us all a very powerful insight into how our beliefs, when lived over and over again through our bodies, our behaviours and movements, do feel like they are real and it is hard to imagine that we are more than this, as this is what has been lived day in and day out. But as you have pointed out through your experience, when we are willing to go deeper, question the quality of how we are living and what quality we are living from, we will discover that there is a truth in our bodies that reflects the great and Divine Love we truly are. This truth is what guides us to live in honor of this Love, and magnify this quality in our bodies through our movements. When we connect to our bodies we can feel if we are living in harmony with this quality or not, ever-offering us the opportunity to deepen our connection to the greatness of Love that we are.

  28. This shows how very important it is that, when we are old enough, we turn towards ourselves and start to take deep care or ourselves. But then, we are often so caught up in the behaviours we have taken on as children that we do not know what it means to take true care of ourselves. We underestimate the impact life has on us and how much we are formed by life and a starting point is to open up to that that is not who we are and what life is about. That we are allowed to unfold what lives deep within us and we haven’t dared to express.

  29. Its amazing how much we take on as children and are run by these beliefs. Coming back to the place that is untouched by outer influences is what it takes to feel ourselves again, to come back to our essence.

  30. The tendency to construct situations that are totally felt like traps from which we cannot escape is very common. What is interesting is the extent to which these traps feel very real and how we accept them as such and create a life around them. These are all our own creation.

    1. Very true Eduardo – not only have we created the struggle in the first place, but congratulate or reward ourselves for learning to cope with the struggles. Why not just live simply without the traps, conditions and complications in the first place?

  31. I understand now how taking on beliefs reconfigures our body so that we do not really know ourselves and end up constantly looking outside to try to fit in or feel better. In learning to develop a deeper relationship with myself I am now able to feel the truth from within my body which responds the more present, gentle and caring I am.

  32. This is a great blog and almost a pity it stands anonymous because of what is written. I can appreciate all that is being said and understand every point. With this, “Because these beliefs were so deeply embedded and embodied due to my living them as a false truth, it was very hard to realise that they were actually not true.” I can see much. As you are saying I thought it was just me until Universal Medicine supported me to see that it simply wasn’t. I wasn’t shown something new but more just moved aside all the things I had put on top of me and as you say ‘lived them’ which then lead me to believe I was them. Once you move these beliefs aside the whole world opens up, again and again and again. The blessing in all of this is truly connecting to who you are first, not what the world says you are and not just because this is what you think. But living with that true connection and then from there anything is possible and nothing is what it seems.

  33. “I am joyously discovering how much more there is of me to love and appreciate, and what I can bring to this world.” Beautiful. A realisation that a lack of self worth is such a damaging emotion that drags us down into a grey existence.

  34. Human beings excel at finding ways to be confirmed that we are not worth it thanks to a host of situations we somehow end up being part of. Could it be that being part of them is just a consequence of us choosing against our own love and light? Could it be that we are setting ourselves up to explore worthlessness until we realise is not really worth it?

  35. Something I have appreciated from Universal Medicine is that no matter what we are all deeply worth cherishing and are love in essence. The problem is the world brings us up to think we need to go out and attain something to be recognised but it negates the fact that we have everything within and so by going outside of ourselves we feel an emptiness within and so no matter what we do or achieve we will never be truly satisfied or content. And hence the lack of self-worth is left to flourish within a society made of stupendous loving beings, which makes no sense when we look at it like this and shows how much we have allowed ourselves to have been fooled.

  36. ‘Could it be that we are in fact born wondrous and whole?’ Yes it definitely could be. However if this is not reflected back to us when we are growing up and that we are cherished and loved dearly then the sense and knowing of our wholeness seems to dimmer. That is why as a generation we have a huge responsibility to heal in order to reflect this to those coming through now so they are cherished and loved. This is the second blog I have read today where someone as gone to see counsellors and therapists in order to heal their past yet the true healing began when they came into contact with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, this was exactly the same for me as well. A testimony to what both Serge and Universal Medicine reflect and the quality and integrity of the healing modalities they hold and have brought through.

    1. Vicky I feel this is because Universal Medicine communicates so clearly about who we all truly are – amazing, divine beings. If we understand or even remove the offending beliefs and emotions, but still do not know we are an amazing essence (exactly as we were born), then we can’t truly heal. Knowing and living who we truly are is a universal medicine.

  37. It is the most incredible freedom to recognise how our identity, behaviours and relationships are shaped by the emotional experiences of our childhood that remain locked inside affecting every experience and decision we make. Whilst we don’t need to re-live our childhood experiences, we do need support to acknowledge how they might be still affecting the decisions we make in our current day and how, by choosing to not address them, they affect our future.

  38. How many people carry into their adulthood the unresolved hurts they accumulated as children that haunt and undermines them long after the actual experience or incident has occurred.

  39. When we live the beliefs of low worth, for whatever reason, the way back is to live in a new way, ie. cherishing and honouring ourselves and our body. We could go to a counsellor for example, and understand how we took on those beliefs, but if the way we live and treat ourselves doesn’t change, nothing really does.

  40. When we absorb the turmoil, drama and chaotic emotions from our environments, it makes healing a lot more complicated because it is no longer clear what is what. Sure, issues are issues, but when they are not rooted in the body from self, they are hard to trace back and heal.

  41. Although I have uncovered and dealt with many of my beliefs, there are still some deep ingrained beliefs that I have yet to work through. It is incredible how we let our childhood influence so many decisions we make because we get caught up in ideals and beliefs we hold and think are true, and when we do take a deeper look we find they are mostly based on other people’s thoughts and experiences and not our own, yet we take them on as our own.

  42. Letting go of the beliefs we take on is very freeing as we naturally unfold more of who we really are; our body is able to surrender and align to its natural rhythm instead of running with a false configuration and hardness from what we have accepted is part of us yet is actually not true.

  43. Interesting that you comment on the ‘beliefs that you created ‘ being the cause of your years of distress and unhappiness Anonymous. We are generally far more inclined to see that our experiences are the cause of our issues and beliefs… hence we never actually resolve them. Responsibility for the hurts we feel, based on the beliefs we carry… allows us to resolve them thank you.

  44. “As I don’t recall feeling cherished for being me, is it possible then that I had no reference for who I truly am?” These words are so powerful and I feel that they are words that so many will be able to relate to from the time of their childhood. Not being cherished for who we truly are and instead identified by what we do, does not offer support to build that solid and steady foundation that we all need as we grow up; that compass for life that is so important to show us a way to live that deeply honours us and all of humanity.

  45. When we have life experiences that don’t confirm us for being the amazing beings we are we tend to accept that as our truth. However as you share “Now that I have awakened to the fact that I am amazing and worthy of cherishing, I continue to take care of my precious body and self. I am joyously discovering how much more there is of me to love and appreciate, and what I can bring to this world.” A beautiful sharing Anonymous – thankyou.

  46. I think, as adults, we can forget what it’s like to be a child. If we really connected to the sensitivity, awareness and how children see and feel it all, we would never not cherish the preciousness that they are.

  47. It is amazing how in trying to make sense of the world around us when we are young we end up constructing a false identity and then we put so much effort into maintaining this without questioning the ideals and beliefs that we have taken on to support this. Deconstructing my false identity and letting go of the many ideals and beliefs about not being a worthy person etc with the support of Universal Medicine practitioners has been an ongoing unfoldment but I now have a deep connection to the beauty of my divine essence which I can now feel is reflected to me by so many others on the same path.

  48. What strikes me reading your story is how you were all trapped in the situation and how terrifying that must have been for you. This highlights the responsibility that we all have to address our false identities so that we can support the next generation to be true to themselves and break this self-perpetuating cycle of abuse.

  49. It sounds very simple–the key is to love and take care of our body. I find this suggestion deeply inspiring and since have discovered there is always more to deepen into. How can I care for and nurture myself even more today? And with this commitment towards myself, the question that accompanies is how can I bring more to all of my relationships in life?

  50. It can take quite a lot of delayering and self love in order to realise the extent of a lack of self worth and how that plays out in so much of what we do.

  51. The depth to which beliefs are embedded in us astounds me. Unearthing them might just be a lifetime’s task, requiring persistence, patience and oodles of compassion – understanding and love – for how they came to be… Or rather, how we came to step away from our innate knowingness to take on thoughts and ideals that have nothing to do with the truth of who we are, and act to keep us away from that very truth.

  52. Imagine coming back so super-solid in our next life or perhaps the one after that little to none of the kinds of family dynamics described here touches us as children. Doing our utmost in our current life to develop that solidity is the preparation we need for the next.

  53. What you have described is exactly what I am nit picking apart within myself. It’s the great set up that we have fallen for, it sets us up for a life where we live by a lie that says we are less than the glorious love we are. It becomes a constant loop that offers no evolution.

  54. There will come a day when all of humanity are willing to reflect so honestly upon the falsities we have adopted – what we’ve accepted as ‘us’, when it is anything but that. The embracing of our true nature is most definitely our way forward Anonymous. Thank-you for revealing so poignantly and openly here, how this is possible for every single one of us.

  55. How deeply powerful is the place of Universal Medicine and the work of Serge Benhayon, in restoring for us all the fact that we ARE amazing and divine in nature… That every single one of us can, if and when we choose, reconnect to the essence within us that ever-holds this truth – our truth – and from there, truly commence upon the path of unfolding back to all that we truly are. The letting go of the falsities we have donned that have clouded our light and distorted our expression, and the embracing of the love that has been here for us all along…

  56. ‘The absolute gold that Universal Medicine has offered me is that the way back to my true self is found in honouring my body, and cherishing me – the amazing being I have always been.’ I love this Anonymous and it’s a powerful testimony of the true support and love Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon consistently offers everyone.

  57. Regardless of how terrible our upbringing was Universal Medicine provides a space where we can heal those hurts – if we choose to. I have spent over twenty years attempting to heal mine, but only with Universal Medicine presentations and with the support of its practitioners, have I finally found a place of true integrity and love in order to enable me to heal.

  58. What I love about this story, it that it’s not about how you ‘made something of yourself’, in the face of all that you experienced. You didn’t choose to react to your circumstances and prove the world (or yourself) wrong. You simply allowed yourself to be supported to return to who you are. No relying on being the best of the best at this or that, simply just coming back to yourself. This is a completely different way to dealing with and healing a childhood that was so unsupportive.

  59. I can relate to taking on the beliefs you mention, often in order to make sense of something as I was growing up too. I now realise how damaging it is to disregard or put ourselves down ourselves and how we are truly feeling. Learning to develop a deeper relationship with myself and my essence has enabled me to discover and value my true self and to listen and honour how I am feeling. Our body is always guiding us to embrace who we truly are from within.

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