Sometimes I am aware of how much I doubt myself. It is definitely not there all the time, but then something happens and it is like a tsunami of doubt enters my mind. I start to doubt my decisions, my choices and second-guess everything I have done. As it sounds, it is actually very exhausting!
So I ask myself, why do I doubt me? Why has this doubt been allowed to enter?
Well, the first answer that rushes in is that “You weren’t being present, so you made that choice without really feeling what was needed.” This answer can sometimes take me to the doldrums of guilt and self-abuse. Yep, this just compounds the problem, making me feel even worse and more exhausted!
Then enters the voice of reason that makes a story out of anything and everything. This includes lots of complicated excuses and justifications to sort out the problem that was seemingly created, although it wasn’t really a problem in the first place. Phew, yep, still exhausted.
By this point, I am so tired and actually wondering what happened to me. This is the aftermath of the tsunami of doubt.
Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.
If I get stuck on the fact that I made a ‘wrong choice’, I am taken out by the tsunami. But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.
Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.
I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.
I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.
By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.
In celebration of the loving choices I have made and continue to make to my way of Livingness through the inspiration of the work of Serge Benhayon.
By Simone Lewis, BSc BTeach
Further Reading:
Who I Really Am
Who Am I?
‘But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning’”. I totally agree with this statement, there are no mistakes, there are only choices that eventuate to the same path. One could be the long path, whilst another is the short path to evolution, they all take you to it eventually.
Doubt is the spirit’s way to mislead you from that that we all from and that is the Soul. It will say, yes, no, don’t know. And for us is to discern whether we take heed or not. The Soul will never feed you doubt, it will only provide those a ha moments and if anything, it’s a bodily moment where every part of you says, Yes.
I recently had the opportunity to see how doubt still affects me, and as you say Simone it is exhausting. Looking back I can see that the truth and simplicity go together, as does accepting situations as they are but staying with the truth as I feel it. When I even move slightly away from that inner truth I am lost and in floods doubt.
Doubts act like dominoes – the moment one drops, the whole pile begins to move and drop the next and the next and the next. A bit like indulging in little lies that once begun are hard to stop. The key is to pull one standing domino out of the pile and this cuts the doubt and allows us to see the mess we have created by allowing that one tiny doubt to creep in.
Henrietta, spot on, it is like a domino effect. It’s like that weed that continues to grow. If we don’t cut it to it’s core, then it will continue to fester. Nip it in the bud before it infests the mind as it can indulge.
I have no doubt that I have moments of doubt and that these moments are my un-doing. But at the same time, the most powerful thing is to realise that one is in a doubt and thus to catch that moment and thus to see it for what it is, is what helps us get out of it.
Having doubts is a killer – it is something that undermines the very foundation we build for ourselves.
Appreciating and celebrating ourselves is the loving choice, ‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’
Absolutely Simone, as when we feel appreciation energetically it comes with the understanding of being Me and that is we are deepening that foundation as we go about our day with a deep-humble-appreciate-ive-ness of being that divine vehicles of expression.
“one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.” This approach really exposes the futility of criticism, we are here to grow and no one has it all, so together we can advance as a group by supporting each other. If another has a weakness and we are strong in that area there can be an opportunity to support that person to grow. Working together and having care for our fellow community members is a wonderful way to live, judgement end criticism take us nowhere except into stagnation and darkness.
Working together, supporting others where we can, is a win win situation, where we all evolve and advance, ‘we are here to grow and no one has it all, so together we can advance as a group by supporting each other.’
Thinking about things, going over stuff, especially just as it has a happened isn’t necessarily helpful whereas giving ourselves space and allowing a process to unfold often is.
Thank you Simone, it’s so true, we can make mistakes but they actually don’t mar the beauty of our essence, so no doubt is needed.
There is no doubting that together we are more powerful than when we try to ‘go it alone’.
Working together in brotherhood is the way forward, ‘ so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’
A beautiful way to face doubt, to understand that everything is a learning and that our next step can be done always wiser. So there is indeed no reason to doubt only a next step to take with a deeper understanding.
Esther Andras what you are saying is that there is no right or wrong which is something we are all subjected to from a young age. To say that everything is a learning allows that space to understand what energy is at play, because we are all re learning that energy is first.
‘there is only learning…….. there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’ I can see how normally doubt can cause a destabilisation which can magnify if we let it – we feel less than in that moment – so bringing ourselves back in full presence makes absolute sense.
We are continually learning, forever students, ‘each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.’
‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’ I really don’t think I’ve ever looked at life like this, with such an appreciation for all that I’m blessed with, what a gorgeous way to celebrate.
Trying to stop self-doubt with the same energy that created it is a futile attempt and doomed to fail. The way forward is to leave it behind and appreciate what is there to appreciate, including the fact that we have been aware and honest enough to nominate the incident as such.
I used to give myself such a hard time when I messed things up however this is changing and boy do I feel different. I don’t get stressed placing unnecessary pressure on myself like I did in the past. I am learning to be open to every relationship knowing the constellation is perfect for us to grow but probably the biggest change is the equality, becoming aware that it is not only me learning from another but they too are learning from me.
It really is a constant unfolding because we can be unaware of the words we use till we use them, or the patterns of behaviour that end up being patterns that hurt us or another till they are done. Holding ourselves in and with love may be unfamiliar but it is worth developing the relationship.
Great point Lucy: “Holding ourselves in and with love may be unfamiliar but it is worth developing the relationship.” – this is in fact one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
‘There is never a right or wrong; there is only learning’. Well said and very true, when we eliminate right and wrong we can see everything that happens is an opportunity to learn and evolve, this brings greater understanding and acceptance to our lives.
Appreciating ourselves and accepting where we are is important for all of us, ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’
One tiny seed of doubt, is all it takes to begin the undermining of how we are feeling about ourselves, and fed by our un-healed hurts it soon begins to grow, very quickly. I have found that once it has taken hold it is very difficult to release but over the last few years, I have discovered various tools to help it on its way, the main one being the way I move. I have learned from the wonderful presentations of Serge Benhayon, that I can either fuel my next and subsequent moves with this doubt or I can make the choice to move in a different way, one where I am totally connected to the wonderful being I am. There is no doubt which one I choose!
“I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.”
Going into the story or feel bad is trying to claim ownership of that created outcome. But when I feel without judgement there is no want of ownership for what has happened. Not in the way that I don’t take responsibility for it, I do. But it’s that I don’t want to keep it, hold it or foster it further. It feels yucky so I learn to detach from repeating it.
Only critism is in the way of our ever oh so openness , a love that is open to receive more of who you are – loving being.
I have come to see how much I welcome doubt into my life for it is a foundation of having a problem. Our spirit is so attached and addicted to creation that we will always concoct games and ways of being that will keep us in it. Having a problem, whether it is self doubt, being self critical, indecisive, not knowing and so on, is keeping us bound to creation. The truth of who we are is really simple and readily available in every moment. So each moment that I am not that I am deliberately choosing the other.
Carolien Braakenburg discovering that our spirit is so attached and addicted to what it has created for itself and the lengths it will go to to keep us all in its game of illusion which we call life = creation, knows no bounds, anything goes. We were not taught this in Religious studies at school or by the priest who visited the school on a regular basis. It wasn’t until I heard Serge Benhayon present on the difference between spirit and Soul and how the spirit keeps up the facade we call life. Serge Benhayon presentations gives everyone an opportunity to start a journey of discovery to understand that the version of spirit that we have all been fed is a lie and that the spirit is incredibly destructive and will trash the human body because it can, as it is immortal and the psychical body is used as just a play thing. This makes total sense to me because so many times my mind would override what my body was showing me usually with disastrous consequences.
I have found building a relationship with myself key to knowing and trusting myself. When I’m in doubt I know my relationship to me is not solid, and there is more to appreciate, claim and confirm in myself.
“When I’m in doubt I know my relationship to me is not solid,”. This is a great observation Melinda, and one that would benefit us all to know. It makes so much sense that if we are not fully present in a relationship with ourselves, for whatever reason, everything we do and say is coming from a disconnected body. When we move in total harmony with every part of us it is no surprise that everything in our lives has an easy and unhindered flow.
Absolutely Ingrid when we can feel that we are moving in harmony with the Universe nothing else matters. We have completley forgotten the number one principal of life to be in harmony with the Universe, which puts us into harmony with all others. We are born into a life where we are totally controlled, we are controlled by an unseen force and we are controlled by people who want ultimate control and are the puppets of the force that controls us. We have accepted this over the harmonious flow of the Universe, to such an extent that we don’t believe it even exists.
I am finding more and more that part of allowing doubt is the reluctance of surrendering to what is already know within my body.
I already know whats going on but choose to ignore it in favour of a held expectation/belief/ideal of life which ultimately will fall flat on it’s face but at the moment I am reluctant to surrender that which will eventually prove itself that it is a failure.
I like that Leigh, it will eventually and without doubt prove itself as a failure, in fact it already has done so from the get go but we stubbornly hold on to the believe that we can make it work. It shows how we only see what we choose to see for if we have an open gaze it is all so plane, simple and clear.
As soon as I lose the connection with my body my mind takes of and doubt and wonder becomes common again. There is only one place to know truth and this is from our body and our innermost heart.
There is an absoluteness of truth within ourselves, and when we step away from that doubting and wondering reflect the separation from our true selves.
Doubts are indeed an indulgence, wallowing in the misery of attacking ourselves from behind and by stealth.
Doubt is like a cancer that gnaws away, undermines and sabotages us; we have a choice though whether to give in or take stock, nominate what has happened and move on or not.
Thank you it is time to celebrate. Who we are and what we are here to truly bring.
I just love the ease and non-pressure that comes with allowing ourselves to learn and that by surrendering the learning will be exactly what is needed at that moment.
This is worth committing to because worrying about being wrong is incredibly exhausting.
We are pretty good at being hard on ourselves when we make so called mistakes but the way forward is, according to my experience, to be very loving with ourselves and then slowly the self-judging and blaming slowly fades.
Hardness, strict discipline and an unforgiving attitude do nothing for us, they just compound the problem and can initiate an endless cycle of self-abusing behaviours.
Sometimes when we start to doubt decisions that we have made or things we have been inspired by we can completely negate the truth and power of our first feelings. We can then go into all sorts of excuses and justification, or as we see them, “reasons”, for changing our mind. If we grapple with this ourselves we can give up on ourselves so talking to a trusted friend or taking our “dilemma”, as it may have become, to a session with a practitioner can support us to come back to seeing things more clearly and reestablishing the deeper connection that we may have lost…..and it may even take more than one session!
I simply love the fact that “one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the “whole of humanity”. Allowing yourself to feel the truth of this statement immediately does away with judgment or jealousy of another and opens the doorway to being inspired instead. And it also offers us the opportunity to ask for support without feeling lesser than the other person and in turn offering support to someone who is open to be inspired by us. Yes, we are all part of the whole, and not the separate, isolated individual parts most of us has as lived for so long.
“By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” Appreciation offers us so much, on so many levels. To build this into our day for ourselves and each other is probably one of the greatest gifts we can share with one another.
Sandra Vicary appreciating is something that is very lacking in our society we are so ready to see the negative side of life rather than celebrate who we are and that no matter we all have something to bring no one less less than another.
What you offer us here takes us away from right and wrong and towards and understanding that each choice we make is an opportunity to learn, to accept and to expand.
There can be a huge ripple effect that follows allowing self-doubt in. It’s like one bad feeling leads to another, compounding the initial state of doubt. This is where we need to be onto any thoughts that are not self-loving, as they multiply like weeds in the garden of our mind.
Doubt undermines us and all around; it leaves others feeling adrift and anything but safe and held as we oscillate between spurts of activity and withdrawal. The latter leaves a gap, a hole that can then be filled by anything that we have aligned to, whether we are aware of it or not.
Self-doubt is a science that is learnt in the classroom of life, and while lessons are taught in school about how to remember facts and work out equations, the practicalities of how to counter self-doubt with the science of self-love, adoration and cherishment seem to be getting missed.
Doubts, complications and seriousness goes hand in hand, all comes from a particular energy to sabotage the natural flow of our true expression. Whereas deep knowing, simplicity and joy is always there, inside us.
Doubt acts like a trip wire to stop us in our tracks and if possible, even throw us totally off course if not at least spawn a superfluous and deleterious to our health and wellbeing detour.
You’ve pretty much summed up doubt in one wonderful sentence; what it does to us in the first instance and what it can do to us if it continues to be allowed to run riot in our mind, and body. One would think that the trip wire would be enough to ‘stop us in our tracks’ but somehow I feel that we have gotten so used to the trip that we just keep on spiralling into a deeper doubt-filled hole.
If we look at life and see it as learning then there is never any excuse or justification for beating or bashing ourselves up. Interestingly I was pondering on this yesterday, feeling and understanding it more deeply in my body building on the foundation of love I am setting for myself so that any abuse that enters becomes a thing of the past.
Simone, I love this; ‘then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am.’ What you are sharing is so beautiful and simple.
Doubt is like acid, slowly corroding everything there is to appreciate about ourselves, life and others. It can be like a continual stream of self-talk that is taken for ‘normal’, as the way it is – when it does not have to be the way it is at all.
‘There is never a right and wrong only learning’ I have found yet life is not just much simpler but also far more enjoyable when we approach it like this without the blame of getting things wrong and making mistakes.
If we indulge doubt in any way shape or form we are creating a downward spiral that takes us away from the simplicity of the truth of who we are.
You cannot doubt ourselves often, if we do not start with a no doubt. In other words, you need a certainty in order to doubt yourself. Only a certainty about you allows you to create a situation whereby you feel there are uncertainties.
So true Alison, and we end end up going further away from the love we are with the self-bashing. And suddenly something minor becomes blown out of all proportion and seems unsurmountable.
What I have realised in the last few days is for self doubt to enter there has to be a gap within the body that enables this, the more we close and tighten the gaps through our movements and way of living the less things like self doubt can enter.
Yes and I have found that letting go of guilt when we perceive we have got something wrong or when we have made a mistake is one of the ways that we can close the gaps.
This is very true Simone, ‘There is just more to celebrate’ because we have opened ourselves up to evolution… we have felt the consequences of our movements.
There is a whole lifestyle, a way of living that leads to the self doubt… that way of living leads us to numb ourselves so we can’t feel so clearly what is there to be felt… a ridiculous set up that leads naturally to self doubt.
Key for me is to feel when something feels true or not in my body, when I do not allow myself to feel or avoid to feel the difference it is an opening for doubt, like you describe thoughts take over and I loose my connection with my body and become a ‘walking head’. Being aware and appreciate my feelings whatever they are, is going forwards with all of me.
So do we allow the wobble, or go to the learning.. knowing that we do have a foundation to fall back on and we are imperfectly learning to be more. Or do we doubt and worry if we are ever going to ‘get it’? Always we have choices.
Appreciation is a very important building block in our lives, one that knocks self-doubt into touch. And the thing with appreciation is that it offers us the space to open ourselves up in the world, rather than live in the contraction of the effects of doubt.
Getting caught in that right/wrong thing is so exhausting. And what I can feel is how trying to be right is a cheap way out when we avoid responsibility for the choices we make, which only gives a momentary relief and does not settle or confirm us in truth we deeply know inside, so we become prone to doubt.
The more I honour the truth of what I instantly know the simple it is to know what is felt next — you can all-most feel it coming.
You sure can Rik and I have found the same thing. When we honour and accept what we are observing and seeing the more everything makes sense and the less we get caught up in things and so the simpler life becomes. The wishy-washy doubt, the should I, shouldn’t I conversations with others or in our heads no longer are given any time. And then as you say we see things before they happen to give us an opportunity to be more of the love we are, so we do not have to wait for a disaster to occur.
Giving ourselves the grace to learn and be a student of life totally wipes out the foundation we are used to standing on that feeds us the self doubt. Accepting that we are here to learn and return to our innate being that is connect to and knows the all is a shedding process of what is not of this. Learning along the way what is not our innate beauty is what lays the foundation to be all of this beauty.
It only takes one moment of allowing a smidgen of doubt to sneak in to open the flood gates and the tsunami of doubt rolls on in. And after the tsunami comes and goes we are left with the tiredness and the wondering of what just happened. These days I am able, most of the time, to grab that first seed of doubt and knowing it’s actually not me stops the tsunami in its tracks. Then I take a moment to ask why that thought came in the first place; and there’s always a ready answer.
Doubt completely undermines and sabotages us living our potential.
Sometimes what I thought was self doubt was just a part of me holding back and not wanting to commit to life. A part of me wanted to hide for it thought it was safer than coming out and interacting with others….for fear of things going wrong or not going well. From this I can see that I had an idea already about how I wanted things to be even if it were as simple as for them to be harmonious. At that time I was separating from the love that I am and not allowing myself to be fully in my body, both feet on the ground, expressing in absolute honesty, being love and open to love.
A good way to look at self-doubt is that there is none — only awareness that has not been honoured.
True Rik, in truth selfdoubt does not exist, it is a perception based on not being present and not honoring our wholebody intelligence.
I have the feeling we are so used to doubt that we are often not even aware of the moments of doubt we have. Isn’t it in the end any moment where we do not stand a hundred percent beside ourself knowing and living the fullness and grandness that we are?
yes, and in that place of true connection, self-doubt has no place to enter.
You are very right, getting back to the relationship with our body is a great way to cut the negative chatter in our heads.
I have discovered that my making little choices and building a routine based on those choices I start to feel a difference in my body, those choices then become part of my rhythm. My rhythm is part of my foundation so when I have a wobble I can feel my foundation holding me…it might be the bit that notices something didn’t feel so good. It really is simply love building on love.
Yes.. there’s a simplicity involved with dealing and healing any of our so called issues- it means staying present and connected to what we can feel, and knowing that our thoughts, reactions and doubts are not us. When we’re connected to our soul we don’t feel any of that stuff. Just a solid simplicity and absolute knowing of who we are.
So so simple Lucy – thanks for the reminder.
What I’m getting from this blog and all the comments is that we will feel and know the truth in our bodies when we honour ourselves, and that self-doubt only gets a look in when we dishonour ourselves. So when we are fed self-doubt, the question is where did we dishonour ourselves? There is a simple choice to then honour ourselves.
This is true and changes entirely how to work with this. Instead of trying to ‘battle’ the self doubt we can look at it as an energy that is showing us we are not connected to our body and so the way out is to simply reconnect and focus on the quality of our movements.
Love this Simone – it simplifies everything and brings us right back to the present and the invitation to reconnect and deepen our relationship with ourselves.
“I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices” this is really awesome as every challenge is a blessing and lesson, just like every wise choice, the not so wise choices are equally important.
There is no doubt that Doubt is always there waiting for the opportunity to ponce. This opening presents as a form of a lack of absoluteness, and doubt revels in moving in and controlling the situation at hand as soon as the door has been opened.
Doubt is definitely in opposition to Absoluteness and ready when we disconnect from and lose ourselves.
Doubt, to me, feels like a poison in my body, an intruder that has no place in it. And it doesn’t take long for it to spread as once doubting myself, it can take a while to cease this self-harming behaviour. These days doubt is becoming a stranger as I know when it turns up I have simply disconnected from myself, and once reconnected to my wonderful body it cannot hang around any longer
Simone, I love this; ‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am’. This is such a great antidote to self-doubt.
A Son of God does not doubt his/her divinity, but a son of man does. Does this not show us the degree to which we have separated from who we truly are?
The moment we do not honour ourselves, we enable the tsunami of doubt to deliver us a great soaking.
Well that makes actually a lot of sense. What beautiful said; ‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate’
Now that is a whole other approach to yourself, sounds great lets move that.
Reading this I can appreciate how I doubt myself less and less and from what I know and can feel this is because my relationship with myself has become more authoritative and stronger and I am more connected to and present in my body .. no perfection and something I am continually reflecting and working on but I can definitely appreciated just how much this has changed for me.
We only doubt when we disconnect from our essence because when we are connected there is no need to doubt.
If I ever feel any doubt it is because I have disconnected from my body and my mind is running the show.
Beautiful, I love the way you have turned doubt into a celebration of your gorgeous self.
I agree with if we celebrate all we respond and react to i.e. “But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.” Celebrating You and each task you can accept. Accepting ‘it’ supports yourself to stay with what is happening internally. Staying internal prevents the tsunami of how it is externally – this has been my experience.
There is no doubt that we have to say no to doubt when it comes because really all it is reflecting to us is that we have made ourselves less in some way and that is the reason why doubt has then come in to destabilize us.
Thank you Simone, for it only takes one person to share her wisdom about something she or he learned and that makes it for other people more possible to do it differently and at times not need to go there even again. We can learn from each others learnings.
We are all very good at playing the doubting game, and allowing it to run us until we are exhausted. However what we so often don’t realise is that it is us who are choosing to allow the doubt to be there in the first place, which highlights the fact that we are not taking responsibility for our individual choices.
After reading your blog Simone there is no doubt that doubt is a tsunami that overwhelms and undermines us to prevent us from living our potential.
Self doubt is crippling – it’s a bit like we cut both our legs off and try to keep walking. The important point is that self doubt isn’t random – we have to take action for it to occur – perhaps we need to do a regular recci of our lives to identify if there are any parts in our life we are dishonouring ourselves or the truth we know so that we are on the front foot when it comes to self doubt.
I love the reminder that behind all the facades we all, very simply, want to work together – free of critique and judgement – open, supportive and willing to learn.
‘It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.’ Sometimes when I pass a mirror and look at myself there can be such a joy and appreciation to see the beauty of myself. To be honest it is as if I expected something else, ouch!
There is nothing so un-endearing than someone communicating in doubt. There is the pompous and pretentious sort of doubt employed in academic discourse and there is the painful doubt of someone not backing themselves (I have in the past done both of these!) I wouldn’t align to communicate that way any more as the damage it causes is palpable.
It’s interesting how it can seem like doubt just rushes in or happens when faced with a certain decision – like it came out of nowhere but I’m learning more how I can make an opening for doubt by the way I’ve been living up to the moment of the doubt coming in – as in if I’ve been ignoring my deeper feelings or knowings of how to do something or be in seemingly smaller moments then when it comes to a more obvious decision or a ‘bigger’ one then I’ve undermined myself… In each moment we have the opportunity to build a true foundation from which to be more connected in what we choose…
Doubt is best friends with Good and Bad and Right and Wrong . . . is real pack of bullies! . . . so, it is best to note the company we keep!
True Kathleen, not the company I like to be in but now and then i choose their company only to come to the conclusion I made mistake on mistake and I bring myself back and have a walk on my own, appreciating my feet, my legs, my whole body and my decision to leave this pack of bullies behind.
Doubt destabilises enormously and is like the scorpion’s sting that comes from across its tail end, always ready to strike lest we have forsaken the connection to ourselves and its fullness.
I find doubt can so easily slip in when I am not appreciating and honouring myself and what I am feeling. The more present I am with myself and listening to what I am feeling, the more confidence grows in my body and so too does the knowingness of what is before me and so there is no room for doubt as the uncertainty is not given a second thought.
It is great, the way the same situation can be looked at in different ways, such as you are either wrong, or being presented with an opportunity to learn.
It’s so interesting how we can personally doubt something for example our ability to do a different job/career etc., and yet people around us know for certain we are capable of what’s there on offer to have zero doubt. What’s also interesting is that it can often be reversed too with us knowing and having no doubt about this for another too. Makes me think that self-doubt must enter when there is shakiness inside us and conversely that when we’re solid, strong, listening to and in our body to occupy the space, that self-doubt has little room for entrance.
From doubt to celebration – now that is something to celebrate!
I loved what you have shared Simone, “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I have been so tied up in the right and wrong most of my life, as most of the world is, how blessed we are to know the truth that learning is being offered to us to further our evolution.
‘But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.’ When we can get to this point it is a beautiful liberation from getting caught up in the tension of feeling ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ or ‘not good enough’ if we feel we have made a mistake. I felt I had made one only last week and went into anxiousness around it until there was a beautiful moment where the thought popped in that said ‘no big deal – this is just an opportunity for learning’. In that moment I had a choice to keep getting caught up in the drama or to let it go.
Simone, I love this; ‘together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’ Reading this I can feel myself melt because this feels like the true and natural way to work together, I can feel that in workplaces there is often a lot about self, competition and comparison rather than true working together to support each other.
Doubt can feel like it has the power to wipe us off the slate, leaving us feeling vulnerable and empty of any confidence or worth – it is deeply debilitating thought process. And yet where do these thoughts come from? How have we become so comfortable with them that we not only let them in but let them take root, seeing them as just a part of who we are. I know when I used to get crippling self-doubt I would like it crush me because I identified with the crushed state as being more who I was than feeling amazing. But what if this wasn’t true, that those thoughts are not who we are and no how we should feel and instead of letting them run we cut them off and choose differently – yes maybe we made a mistake, or maybe we are not sure the next steps or maybe we don’t know if we should or shouldn’t say something, or maybe we feel totally unable to do something because we are not good enough, but none of those feelings and thoughts should define us, rather they need to be moments when we stop and take time to come back to an inner solidity and foundation so we can make the next step.
I like your example of looking in the mirror and seeing how gorgeous you are. If we re-connect to our essence and express for there we can’t doubt or dismiss that or we are dismissing God!
Simone, I can relate so much to everything you share about the self-doubt, complications, stories, getting stuck on making the wrong choice and the exhaustion that goes with it, (which then gives me permission to be hard on myself). I am learning to change this entrenched pattern by observing my choices and simply watching how they feel in my body, which makes it easier to make different choices.
I am there with you Rachel and as a dear wise friend asked me today: is what you see now a problem or a reflection? A great question for it is two entirely different ways of dealing with what has been revealed for us.
It can be so easy to doubt what we know is true either because it may seem too simple, too amazing or because it may not fit the picture of what we want and another one is that is keeps us playing the game of being less rather than having to accept that we do infact have access to everything we could ever want and always have just have chosen not to connect and access it.
When I choose to go against a truth I know in my heart and pretend otherwise, I am like a boat without a paddle or a rudder. I end up at the mercy of the flow of the elements, until I remember to reconnect to the truth that I know and move the with awareness and the love that I am.
Thank you Simone, I wonder how the world would be if there was no such thing as the word “mistake”? Or “wrong”? It would make life very simple and easy to accept, if not celebrate, each new learning.
When we catch ourselves doing silly things because we are not fully present with ourselves (present meaning being in our body and our mind completely with what the body is doing e.g. walking, washing up) or doubting ourself we have a beautifull moment and opportunity to just change it! No beating ourselves up or thinking how bad we are just change it. Our choices our everything.
When we are aware of doubt creeping in we know we have been moving in a way that only gives us an option of one doubt or another. When we move in tune to the vibration of the Soul the Way is clear.
There is a level of surrender that is needed to let go off the control, the ‘having to get it right’ and with that the possibilities for doubt.
Being self-critical has left many openings for doubt but in learning to appreciate and honour where my wisdom and clarity actually come from (God) doubt has less and less ways to enter.
No doubt that what founds us is truth and love, no doubt that we know all that we are made of. And no doubt that we have played games to resist that. No doubt that we will return to who we are.
I love it Danna, no doubt indeed!
You always know that when in self-doubt it is not your thoughts. Our soul would not have thoughts like that.
And I recently learned that actually we don’t have a self-doubt issue, we have a dis-honouring issue. We got the truth and then dishonor our connection to the truth.
When we buy into the paradigm of “right” and “wrong” we create enormous tension in the body. That is because there is no truth in “right” and “wrong” and the body knows this.
It feels very spacious in my body when I understand myself and observe what I can learn from any situation, it is feeling the power of honesty or even being truthful to myself, not doubting what I feel but open to what is presented to me.
What a great blog, to use everything in life as an opportunity for learning and to not go into stories or judgement allows a greater responsibility and movement without the drag and delay that guilt allows.
I agree Simone, self-doubt, second guessing or anticipating are all exhausting and poisoning activities and are from the pictures we’ve created about how things/situations/events/people should or could be. This basing on the future takes us away from the present moment in which to appreciate [as you share too] to create a gap where the poisoning enters to make us heavy as lead, lethargic and a worried mess. When I’m present and together with myself, the gap is less or not there where i find it’s easier to trust myself and honour what i feel.
Guilt can lead us far, far away from ourselves on a completely abusive path, because it is an internal struggle that we often conceal and bury whilst taking steps further into the realm of self bashing and self loathing.
I know guilt far too well, as we all do, and how much it can completely take us away from ourselves seemingly in a justifiable way but in reality keeping us from having to accept the choices we made which led to the reason for the guilt in the 1st place.
It is great to know there is no right or wrong and only learning because, for me anyway, it gives me the space to say yes to what I have felt and regardless of what happens I always have an opportunity to learn from it. I used to think sitting back and being polite was the thing to do, sure it kept me under the radar and got me through the day but left me feeling what is the point of all of this. It is only when I do what I feel, essentially listen to my body and say yes to it that everything changes and everything before me opens up, often in very unexpected ways.
Self doubt this is something I would say we all know very well. There was actually an amazing presentation on self doubt recently at a Universal Medicine event which revealed it it not actually self doubt that we have but the dishonouring of ourselves and this made total sense to me .. I could feel the truth this when it was presented in my body and also a relief of ‘I have just been given the truth to something’. The beauty in this is that we are not powerless to something e.g. self doubt but it is more … how much do we truly love ourselves. Because if we up the love and honour ourselves instead of dishonour ourselves there would be zero room for self doubt.
So true Vicky. So to doubt or self-doubt means we have already felt and connected to the truth. So then to do something in contra or otherwise means we are dishonouring the truth we have felt and connected to. So essentially we cannot say we have doubt or self-doubt because we know the truth we are simply choosing to play less, a game that says we do not know the truth when in fact we do.
Doubt of some situations sends me into a slight panic where my chest tightens and my breathing becomes very short and shallow. I get so caught up in the anxiety of the doubt that I completely disconnect from myself and it all happens in a moment.
You highlight a great point Fiona, the tension and anxiety we can feel with doubt totally disconnects us from our body.
I love this: ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning’. How many times have I self-bashed for getting things wrong. What now supports me is to read everything and through the reading I get the learning and more awareness and it takes all the pressure off to know that every so called mistake is a learning.
The beauty you show here is that doubt is followed by doubt even though it comes in disguise of guilt, reason, justification …, it is still doubt – thus it makes itself appear bigger than it is. That alone takes the intimidation out of doubt for me.
When we do get bogged down by a ‘tsunami’ of self doubt, as you’ve shared Simone the most important thing to recognise is that these thoughts are not our own, and that we’ve actually chosen to open the door to the flood that is made up of pictures, ideals and images we’ve picked up from society about how things should be and shouldn’t be. We can then look at how we can change our movements going forward to close this door that is allowing the thoughts through, being super honest about where our attachments and pictures hold us back.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”- This is a beautiful quote and it really takes the burden off our shoulders when we adopt this approach to life. I used to judge my actions and mistakes with such self-criticism as if I needed to be perfect because I felt that making a mistake would expose me for not being good enough in whatever I was doing. But nowadays I can see how each mistake is actually a blessing and many times has lead to me making huge personal progress that may not have happened as quickly without the mistake or screw-up in the first place.
Doubt can creep in when we are not connected to ourselves, our inner knowing and wisdom. But when it does creep in, knowing what to do to support ourselves is key. Universal Medicine is where I have learnt to do this, to support myself to let go of doubt, self-judgement and self-criticism. This has made an incredible difference to life and how I relate to myself and to others with more love and appreciation, and doubt is no longer running my thoughts like it used to.
Doubt is very unsettling. Suddenly, the conundrum occupies our entire space. It gets our undivided attention. If this happens often, it means that we are in a pattern of movement that chooses not to give ourselves enough confirmation, hence that does not have the capacity to ground us. The constant doubting is both a consequence of pattern of movement as much as its cause. The perfect self-made set up to keep yourself where you are.
Beautifully shared Simone in which you offer a powerful antidote to the debilitating and capping effects of doubt – connection to who we are. For when we are truly with ourselves, with all that we are, there is no room whatsoever for doubt to exist. As such this highlights how powerful to appreciate ourselves through developing a loving relationship with our body and being, so that we know without question that being in connection to our Soul is a confirmation of everything that is real, divine and powerful – who we truly are.
A great reminder to forever hold ourselves in appreciation and in doing so, there is no room for anything less than the beauty we are to enter our sphere.
Beautiful Deborah, this is the key to dissolving anything that is not love, appreciation, appreciation and more appreciation.
Thank you Simone, life can feel very simple if we do not allow doubt to intrude. It’s also very supportive to approach everyday as something we will forever be learning something from, and not approach life in terms of mistakes or getting things right or wrong.
My head was achey from the hard time I was giving myself and how yucky I felt about something, and this was perfect read right now. As I felt my body, connected to my breath and turned my attention to appreciation of myself, the feeling dissipated, the head stopped achey and I am now in the position to be much more open to the learning.
Awesome Sarah, this is a gorgeous example of how powerful appreciation is and how important it is to stay open to learning.
Doubt is a trick to keeping us small and not take responsibility for the power we bring to the world. That’s all it is, a lack of responsibility.
It’s amazing how much of a difference it makes if I am fully present in what I’m doing – it helps me to re-gather or to bring my all to the moment, and there is a true settlement in that which helps to stop doubt from getting in. I do still doubt myself at times but I know that bringing my awareness back to my whole body and the quality in which I’m moving or engaging with another really helps me to come back to myself and let the doubt go.
“By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” Wow this really leaves giving ourselves a hard time nowhere to go. Life really can be this simple!
Appreciating that a ‘mistake is an opportunity to learn and to see it as such, that there is no right or wrong just what it is, is incredible empowering.
A great learning it is that mistakes allow us to learn and grow.
Doubt used to linger for a long time in my body and as a result anxiety and tension then followed not to far behind leaving me feeling exhausted and sometimes even sick. I appreciate just how far I have come to move in a way that not only allows me space to understand why doubt creeps in but also how important it is to live via our bodies and the wisdom and learning we have available to us always and with this there is then no room for doubt only appreciation and growth.
In truth doubt does not exist, it is something we create and go into when we don’t want to feel ourselves what is going on, be responsible it that way for what we have chosen and why. It also is a delay of claiming what we feel is true in the face of many people choosing what is not true.
Beautifully expressed Lieke, we are so much bigger than the energy of doubt, but it’s up to us to reconnect to our soul and bring forth all of its beauty and power, even in the face of so many not living this.
Once we clock, understand and really experience what it’s like to have no doubt it’s like discovering shoes for the first time – who would go and walk on really rough sharp nasty ground when there is the opportunity to just glide over it?
Giving ourselves a hard time about choices we have made is a sure way to spoil what may otherwise be a gorgeous and enjoyable day. Sure – we have alot to learn, but we need not get bogged down in this process.
Doubt is already ready to knock on the door. Whether we allow it in or not is dependent on the way we move: – walk, talk and think about ourselves and others. . . correct our movement by appreciating all that we are in full and the door stays locked.
“So I ask myself, why do I doubt me? Why has this doubt been allowed to enter?” – great questions Simone.. there is no doubt that i do doubt myself .. though there is also no doubt too that when i move, walk in a way that’s connected, with self-presence that the energy of doubt no longer enters because instead there is ‘confirmation’ being walked or moved in my body to bring self-confidence. Change the movement to change the quality of thought.
Doubt is indeed the enemy we let into our minds (our whole body equally so, as when it comes in it is an energy coming through our whole body), and we are the gatekeepers that either allow that in or not. But the truly profound teaching is that not one doubt is ever true. So we are better to keep them out and work on our appreciation instead. Now that is a truly enrichment to our life instead.
Doubt is a compression in the body that doesn’t allow us to feel any space within ourselves or between us and the moment/s we are doubting. It’s a complete set up because if we can sense the space within and around us, we are able to observe our choices with understanding instead of having no space to see clearly what we have chosen that we are now doubting.
When we see any choice as a moment of learning we not only open up to a deeper understanding of the mechanics of who we are but also that of all others. We then have the opportunity to see the potential for true evolvement and there is no doubt of the power this then holds for us all.
Doubt is there when I know I’ve not been present leading up to an event. Connecting with myself at the last minute is tricky when the anxiety has kicked in so then it’s about just being there for myself even if I’m feeling very uncomfortable! What I’m discovering is that my being present now connects me with truth and doubt evaporates quicker than ever before.
Powerful – saying that we are the gatekeepers of truth and we allow the doubts, which are falsities, to enter. We are often tested in unstable times as those doubts are offered, but remember we are stronger — we are the gatekeepers and we have the strength to say no to any of them.
I find it is really supportive to not focus on the doubt and the details of what I am thinking but understand that I made a shift, consciously or not, that allowed the doubt to come in. Then I can make a shift back to me and the steadiness within me.
Doubt is a dissolution of our true power that we call in to live less than the majesty we are.
Simone, this is beautiful; ‘when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.’ This is a great way to be in life, rather than us thinking we are ‘wrong’ and being hard on ourselves, this would stop all the self critique and instead we see our mistakes as an opps and something to learn from, we are then able to move on and be ready to deal with our next life lesson.
Reading this I thought of a puzzle and how each piece has it’s spot within the whole and the puzzle can’t be completed without all the pieces together… it’s the same when it comes to us working and living together. If we appreciate each others qualities then all the pieces fall into place without any effort and harmoniously, but if comparison and doubt creeps in then pieces go missing and gaps appear instead of a stable foundation.
Perspective plays a big part in how we learn through life. If we are open to making mistakes and see those mistakes as moments to learn then we won’t sweat the small stuff. If we see mistakes as an ‘end of the world’ sort of thing and have such a high investment in getting stuff right, then we are done for…
So true.. it’s our investment in getting it right that makes things go so wrong sometimes! When we just relax and let go and allow life to flow, we find that many things naturally take care of themselves, and our part in whatever is needed is much more obvious. When we see the bigger picture, the mistakes become lessons to learn and grow from, without the detour of giving ourselves a hard time.
When we let go and surrender within ourselves, no doubt can enter as we know absolutely how to live and be.
I am not yet very good at it but when I do allow my life to be an experiment life gets more playful and full of appreciation of everything I am learning along the way.
Reading this I really felt the importance of being present in all that we do as if we are not in lets in many things including doubt. Also amazing that in the past when you have doubted yourself you have stopped, stood in the mirror looked into you eyes and remembered just how beautifull you are. For many when in doubt this is the last thing we want to do .. so truly inspirational and a great reflection for us all.
There are no doubts, only lessons to learn and awareness to grow. Thank you Simone.
“That each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing”. I think I’d like to see this emblazoned in the sky every day for every one. A reminder to us all that we are forever students – students of life, students of ourselves, and students of humanity.
Doubt often creeps in when I am not appreciating myself or trust what I feel. It is through our thoughts that doubt enters but when I connect to what I feel in my body this is a powerful way to connect to my true expression.
Absolutely, appreciation is such an amazing tool to bring into our lives, ‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’
For every piece we let go of more space of who we are returns (we become free of the ill-ward-ways and thoughts we once had created).. So step by step we make more way to whole-way return to the grandness of who we are.. A source of energy truly.
“So I ask myself, why do I doubt me? Why has this doubt been allowed to enter? Well, the first answer that rushes in is that “You weren’t being present, so you made that choice without really feeling what was needed.” ” This is so spot on, when we make a choice in a rush without feeling and connecting to our body, we are going to make choices where the foundation is not solid. I have experienced this many times in the past.
It was great to read this blog, perfect timing. Having made some choices I was going in to a little self doubt. But by reading this, I have come back to my body and appreciated the beauty that I am and connected back to my breath. Knowing that every choice is an opportunity and learning.
There is a new tool in my toolbox which is called surrender. In the face of whatever life throws at me, and whatever doubts I have about a way forward, I know that surrender is needed, and through that willingness I know there is a bigger plan, and it will show itself.
Beautiful Heather. Due to the competitiveness of warfare we seem to think of surrender as a weakness, as a failure when it is in fact a simple allowing of whatever needs to unfold to unfold.
When we change our movement, doubt can come in and try to undermine us. When we stay in the movement of appreciation and the knowing that we all make mistakes and that they are there to learn from, then doubt has no chance.
Well said Gebriele, I totally agree. The power of appreciation, connecting and listening to our body is incredible.
I had a moment this week where I moved in a way that was less and didn’t listen to what I really felt to do, what ensued then was a barrage of any thing and every thing that supported the less and tried to keep it that way. That is when I stopped and went this is not real and I could see that I wasn’t appreciating myself.
Without ‘doubt’ we are left to feel the magnitude of who we are and thus the responsibility that comes with reflecting this to the world so that all others know they are also of this truth and beauty.
Which is why ‘doubt’ becomes the sneaky friend really – it’s a sure get-out clause from accepting this responsibility. That’s the vested interest in belittling ourselves and others – as uncomfortable and awful that this is, it’s a deliberate go-to pattern to not bring the magnificence we truly are to the world at large consistently, in the knowing that the world needs this reflection to remember they are this as well.
If there was one of the things in my life that I could wave a magic wand and make disappear forever it would be doubt. I have held myself back so many times from self doubt.
“But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.” Yes and it not only confirms our movements and growth but it gives us a great marker for our commitment to self. Our appreciation in these moments then expands us to see how we move forward without doubt, but with a strong knowing of what we felt then lifts others too. It’s a win, win for all.
So when we use doubt and the energy of being right or wrong and then hide ourselves, we ‘forget’ how we all have an important role to play. The word ‘play’ here emphasise that we can experiment and make mistakes to learn and grow together.
The doubt the questioning and trying to work it out in the head, I can so relate to and I exhausted myself so many times going into this downward spiral. What started to turn it around for me was, nominating what I had gone into and feeling that, but then truly appreciating myself and confirming my truth at those moments.
Accepting all of our choices, even the ones we’ve judged as ‘bad’ as a natural part of our evolution, and as key points that help us to learn from, is what helps us move forward and make different choices. Not appreciating what we’re learning and continuously berating ourselves for not making good decisions does not help at all.. it just keeps us cemented in ‘wrong’ and unable to move forward.
This is so important, to remember that we are always learning and that when we focus on what we might have done wrong it is a way of distroying any confidence and appreciation for ourselves. When we allow ourselves to feel and appreciate how amazing we are those negative thoughts don’t have the space to enter.
When we self doubt – we let other energy in that makes us sick. This shows us that we actually are all
Knowing and that to withdraw from it we become sick, as we leave our natural state of being.
Self doubt links in so strongly with anxiety and exhaustion and depression. It is all just mind games and never worth it but we still choose to run with it even though our body is very clearly communicating otherwise. This is because we are also very fragile innately sensitive beings and the world as it is does not make sense to the truth we deeply know life to be. Anxiety and doubt are ways we use to not feel these deep levels of sensitivity and fragililty.
Doubting ourselves is exhausting and so not worth it! Thank you Simone for this great reminder to stand by what we know and not let anything shake us from this.
Thank you Simone, you have reminded me of the importance of celebrating everything. Doubt is like a big, dark cloud eclipsing all the details, big and small, that are there to be felt and appreciated. I feel too that doubt is a significant signal we are not in a solid relationship with who we are. Many great reminders here to look at how doubt is still playing out in my life, thank you.
Doubt is a huge illness that plagues so many of us because we allow external events to dictate how we are going to feel about something. Which is funny really because the tension that we feel and go into as a result is just another amazing opportunity to know and be aware of more about ourselves and therefore others.
The tsunami is a good analogy for how doubt builds when you let it in. This to me shows the energetic nature of doubt, as it rolls and builds into a big snowball if you don’t catch it early.
I used to have a lot of self doubt and then with the help of an esoteric practitioner, I started to bring more awareness to it. I realised it didn’t come from within me, it was actually something that I let in from outside of me. Following on from this was the realisation that I had a choice. I could choose whether I let doubt in or not.
That’s a great way to see it Nikki, thanks for sharing.
Doubt is like a heavy blanket that hangs over you, makes it more difficult to do things and doesn’t allow you to see what is going on. When you back yourself, even if it turns out not to be true, it allows you to just get on with what’s needed without draining so much energy. I have been a chronic doubter but its now getting old and doesn’t really fit anymore.
It is a great reminder that doubt is actually not true at all and does not serve any purpose in our lives. So every time there is doubt we can say that we have to check in with ourselves instead of going into the doubt.
When we were around the age of 2 did we doubt the propensity to giggle, cry and play? Or did we just go with what was there to be expressed in that moment…. It’s fascinating how much effort we put into creating doubt for ourselves as we move away from that innocence that was with us first.
Self doubt, when allowed to enter will play havoc in the body, and what better way to develop a way of conquering some of doubt than through understanding the body. When we connect to the body and simply express, perhaps we may get it wrong. It will be entirely okay if we allow ourselves to see it as a learning.
Taking a moment to stop and re-connect with our body is always a wise choice, ‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.’
When we doubt ourselves it is just exposing the moments and movements we have been in and as you share can be changed just by simply coming back to our body and re-imprinting our movements. Great reminder!
‘Then enters the voice of reason that makes a story out of anything and everything.’ If we are able to observe this voice and connect to our body we actually stop identifying with what is not us and as you say enters us. Truth is in us and always there and its wisdom is found in the body.
Beautiful Simone, when we allow, things will be, we then can accept and appreciate our true selves.
When we are in our body, feeling and connected to our body there is no room for doubt.
The sooner I make contact with the feeling in my body the shorter the period of abuse and self doubt. There is a knowing there of exactly what is happening, no question. The alternative I find is wanting to go numb and hope that the problem goes away and I have a million different strategies for that all of which have failed me.
Actually allowing myself to make mistakes is so freeing and makes me so more ‘normal’, really me compared to holding on to what I am not by for instance to comply to the image of perfection.
‘…I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.’ I’m learning just how important appreciation is. Appreciating quells not only doubt but any unwanted thoughts. If they start coming in, I know there’s something I’m not appreciating – in myself, another or a situation.
This blog perfectly captures the downward spiral that happens as a result of letting doubt in. Once we are on that slide there is only a one-way ride but luckily we can short circuit the ride by stopping and coming back to our body.
If we understand that there are no coincidences then there can be no doubt, because everything is a learning. We can be open to this in all what we do and understand that our choices support our learnings.
Doubt can only enter when we are not with ourselves but instead try to satisfy a certain image we hold to live by.
Thanks Simone, great timing for me to read this again, I appreciated your words on understanding that everything is a learning, particularly from how a decision or situation feels in the body, and from there move on, no guilt or other negative emotions needed.
Any time I’m doubting myself, I’m draining myself at the same time, wasting energy while I try to fix and work out the problem in my head – but actually all I’m doing is circulating the same foggy thoughts and not getting anywhere. Every time I have a problem in my head, I just need to go for a walk, focus on my movements and get back into my body so that there’s space between me and my thoughts, instantly putting the ‘problem’ into perspective so that it’s not even a problem anymore.
Awesome Simone, choosing to doubt ourselves is indeed very exhausting. Learning to trust what we feel and embrace every one of our choices as an opportunity to learn feels so expansive. Also, when we trust what we feel it becomes harder to doubt ourselves.
Sometimes it’s easy to connect to truth and no doubt exists, but other times when we have doubt perhaps we haven’t connected with the truth or have been attached to what we want something to be.
Doubt is the water we cast upon the flame of our true power. Instant dousing.
Totally agree that judgement never helps – not on ourselves nor others, it just gets in the way of us appreciating what there is for us to see as a result of any choice we’ve made and with that having greater clarity on the choices we make from then on…
Beautiful and very confirming to read this today and to give myself the opportunity to learn what there is to learn for me and to appreciate and celebrate myself with each step I take.
Simone, this is so confirming and allowing us all to feel beyond our choices and to feel that we are beautiful and that we need to celebrate ourselves all the time.
Communicated to us: ‘I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.’
That is the absolute key. Time to apply. Beautiful.
Confirming who we are and appreciating our divine quality and true beauty will absolutely allow no opening for doubt and untrue thoughts to enter.
Appreciation of you and who you are in your body confirms that there is a you, a soul within that body, and with that there can be no doubt of who you are.
Sure Heather, when we notice there is some doubt in us we actually have a marker that we have lost the connection with our body otherwise, doubt would have no ground to stand on and would even not be in our dictionary.
Beautifully said Simone take the criticism and analysing out of choices and feel into what can be learnt and what different choices to be made. Nothing is ever gained from the blame game inwardly or outwardly. However bringing observation and more understanding to our choices allows for the possibility of change and taking more responsibility in life.
Reading your blog made me remember that really recently I seemed to be self-doubting myself all the time .. but this has stopped. On asking myself why this had stopped without me realising it what came to me was going to the gym! This has nothing to do with the gym or exercise but instead committing to me and life and supporting my body. In making this small step it in turn has helped me to shut the doors on self-doubt. If we are not truly with ourselves than it leaves a gap for another energy to enter which can be in the form of self-doubt. Foods that we each such as sugar can leave a gap for this to happen as well.
Thank goodness you take a moment to stop the exhausting process, and to come back to your body and feel your body, ‘a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.’
This is a great reminder that when we are connected to ourselves, there is no opening for doubt to enter. We can easily return to ourselves in any moment and put a stop to the ill-flow.
It is interesting how much doubt can get in the way – and I find it comes along when I am not appreciating myself and what I bring. Doubt can be a big block to whatever is next and we can make it about ourselves instead of getting ourselves out the way for what is needed.
Having the belief that everything is either right or wrong for me was definitely a religious thing from the past and would take me into doubt around what I’m actually feeling and into judging, is that right? And in moving through life with this belief, there is no connection to the body and its deep inner wisdom, and definitely no connection to your own truth or power. Right and wrong only serves to disconnect and divide.
Will call on doubt the moment we feel our full power and then shy away from it. It is a method we employ to not live with absolute authority, hence the choice to go into doubt so we can play less than this and therefore seemingly avoid the responsibility that comes with it.
Yes Liane it is the easiest way to sabotage ourselves and avoid the power and joy that we would otherwise feel. A power and joy that are inextricably linked with responsibility.
What an intricate game we have mastered in playing less, small and down our true power and divinity.
Game over.
I was going to lead with ‘how funny it is that’ and I realise it’s not that funny that we don’t always see ourselves as students of life. We are placing ourselves under the constant pressure of knowing, being perfect and not making mistakes and so when something happens that doesn’t feel that great or we hit a small road block we turn on ourselves with critical eyes. There is truly no such things as mistakes, only things we grow awareness from and I know from where we as people currently stand it’s a long shot but if we start to hold this alone in our awareness things will change for all of us. Next time you perceive something has ‘gone wrong’ watch how you treat yourself and if you are giving yourself a hard time then maybe just take the time to stop, stop and settle your mind and body and feel. Then simply go back to what you were doing and don’t give it another thought. We can never change the world in our heads it’s going to take a living approach to bring true change and in this way to truly stop and feel is that living change.
If self doubt is a result of lack of connection and presence then it is only another choice to reconnect and back ourselves.
I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice. This is great advice Simone, and makes it so much simpler to come back to truth and the body this way.
This is an important article, you talk about giving yourself the space to learn from life’s experiences and I can see how this builds self-worth, how it brings value to your choices – whatever the outcomes – because there is always a learning which is our great ally in this life – to be able to learn.
Absolutely – every moment offers us more learning about ourselves, others and life and is therefore to be appreciated in full.
A great perspective it is to see that life offers us the opportunity for learning rather than focusing on the right or wrongness of our choices.
We are not defined by our errors, nor our choices… we remain magnificently divine regardless.
It is well worth observing the way in which we live life and making the necessary adjustments to return to our true expression.
I love the fact that you don’t give yourself a hard time but instead see this as a lesson you can learn from if you choose to .. very cool.
I was so used to go for the perfection but also experienced that I was never able to fulfil and too, that it was after all not required at all.
We don’t live in a world where mistakes are seen as a way to learn and to grow, at least I have not been taught in this way. I had taken on the ideas about being right or wrong and lived in a way to be right and to not make mistakes and had trouble to admit I could be wrong. All this would go on in my mind without feeling the truth of who I am in my body. The focus in this process is all about me instead of feeling I know who I am and responsible for, not appreciating this is an opening for self doubt to come in.
Self doubt tells us that we are very much caught up in identification and judegements of right and wrong. It is great to nominate this and stay open to learning what live is presenting to us.
When we go into berating ourselves for our mistakes we just create more of an opening for self doubt to come in.
Doubt is certainly exhausting. The more aware I can be of how something feels in my body and the exact quality of energy it has, the more I can simplify and choose to let go of it without necessarily trying to “heal” or remedy it somehow. Doubt feels very heavy and dark and like a huge weight over me. I would much prefer the natural lightness of my being.
I too am changing my response when I get things wrong or stuff up. Now its no longer about berating myself but seeing how there is always an opportunity to learn. Its easy to appreciate yourself when things are going great, but when they are not, these are the times when I feel its most important to be loving and gentle with myself.
Doubt does seem like a snowball rolling downhill. One moment there can be no doubt, but the minute you let it in and entertain doubting thoughts, its like inviting gate crashers to your party! The only way I know how to correct this is to stop whatever I am thinking or doing, change the way my body is configured and consciously choose to be and move with me again
This illustrates clearly how we complicate things but that there is always a way straight back to simplicity.
Aaah the doubt train and it does indeed lead to a tsunami, and as you note here Simone, if we try and solve the ‘problems’ we miss the point (lots of experience in this one), it’s really as simple as coming back to us in the body and feeling how we feel and we drop the doubt. Solving what doubt raises is a trick of the mind and in fact keeps us locked into the doubt spiral – appreciation is the key here, to come back to simply appreciating us, and I love your suggestion to look in the mirror, catching our eye is indeed infectious and reminds us that we are amazing just as we are and any blip along the way is for us to learn from and take responsibility.
‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.’ I love how the mirror shares our beauty and it sure is a way to come back from crippling thought into our bodies and appreciate and confirm how awesome we are.
I love how you present it Simone, ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ … it’s that simple, no drama, feel where our choices have taken us and learn from them, no perfection.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”. The first choice is which source of energy are we aligned to? When I am plagued with self-doubt, the more attention I give to it, the more it grows. Giving myself some appreciation and focussing on that enables me to move on, away from the doubt.
Oh do I know that “tsunami of doubt” so well, a tsunami that throughout my life would regularly roll on in crushing me beneath its weight, leaving me exhausted and lacking in the minutest bit of trust in myself. It actually began to roll on in yesterday so reading this today has been very timely and very supportive. I have decided that next time, and I’m sure there may be a next time, I am going to take myself straight to the mirror as you do and looking into my gorgeous eyes remind my beautiful self that there is no such thing as perfection or a mistake just life lessons to be learned, or not.
‘There is never a right or wrong; there is only learning’. Spot on Simone and a such a beautiful reminder of me today, letting go of right and wrong allows for us to accept life more and to be in the simplicity and flow of life instead of trying to control it and complicate it.
To keep returning to this truth, that ‘there is never a right or wrong’ is essential, for there is so much we have bought into in this world. that would have us ever enchained in the illusion that we are ‘good or bad’ and ‘right or wrong’ – seeking to keep us trapped in the throes of self-judgement, condemnation and even false-glorification… and thus away from the acceptance of the true light and love of the soul, which judges nought, and thus holds no one as more or less (inclusive of ourselves).
A breath of fresh air this morning Simone. Thank you so much for the reminder that we have 2 ways to approach our mistakes, this is a great reminder of that “I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.”
When we bring in doubt, it is often followed by complication, when we acknowledge the choices we make, we have the ability to change our next choice, and therefore not get caught up in the self-doubt, but accept that there was another choice open to us, a great learning each time we observe what happens.
A dear wise friend has often said, “Be curious, not critical”. I don’t remember all the time, for I too have felt the tsunami of self-doubt you write of, but more often than not I do and it’s been an amazing support.
The ‘tsunami of doubt’ is a very apt image for what plays out when we do not live the fullness of our true self. Thus it is our lack of self worth that is the door through which doubt enters. From here we have no control as to the depth of the wave we are then drowned in.
Well said Liane. From experience and great learning, I can say that this is bang on… “it is our lack of self worth that is the door through which doubt enters.”
And so our relationship with our worth, the depth to which we truly value ourselves, is the key to sealing the door.
Thank you Victoria. That is just what I need to hear in this moment!
Beautiful Victoria and true ‘The depth to which we truly value ourselves, is the key to sealing the door’ so no doubt can enter.
I love the play on words in the title – we so often justify a comment by prefacing it with ‘No doubt you will agree that…’ when we are trying to get someone on our side. Saying No to doubt is something I am practising and what I am now recognising is how often I have hidden behind my feelings of doubting my own knowing so that I do not have to speak up when I feel something is wrong. Saying No to doubt is empowering and leaves no need for manipulating others.
Thank you Simone I can so relate to the ‘tsunami of doubt’ which envelopes my mind once I allow it in and how overwhelming and exhausting this is. Re-connecting to my body is always the answer but so often I take many twists and turns before I come to this point – it’s like in the panic of feeling overwhelmed by the doubt I completely lose myself. I have lived for so long with ever present raciness that dropping into the stillness of just breathing and feeling my body is still a work in progress but once I go there I can feel the doubt recede and my inner knowing of what is the next move returns.
This is so true “we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity”, and we each bring our uniqueness to the world. No matter what our differences are, where we live, how old we are or our gender, we all are a necessary part of the whole. How boring life would be if we were all the same?
It is very interesting to notice exactly what it is that triggers doubt. Sometimes it can another doubting us or our work and this can be a vulnerable point to look at for both people in the conversation. It can be jealousy from another that triggers a dimming of our light, but then that is the very reaction that we ourselves have to clock and say no to. Where is our value as a Son of God? We can still look at our work and re-assess, but we do not need to go into doubt energetically. Backing oneself is one of the most powerful things on earth.
I remember a practitioner saying to me once ‘back yourself’, I could then see how quick I would drop me for right and wrong or what it looked like. It’s when we wait for anyone outside of us to appreciate or support us, instead of doing that for ourselves first, that we can feel in limbo and like we are blowing in the breeze with no sure footing.
Totally Aimee. One of the most powerful healing I ever experience, and a real turn around in my life, was when a practitioner advise me to ‘Back yourself even if you are wrong’ – that got my eyes popping open, to realise how identified I had been with the right and wrong paradigm. There is a glorious steadiness and confidence in backing oneself, simply because we are Sons of God.
An expose on doubt and its very nuisance, as in the end once having allowed doubt in there will be only more doubt to follow. So it does come back to letting go of this stream of doubt and return to ourselves, as you describe connecting back to our whole body instead of lingering on thoughts and let them dictate us.
I had had the fond imagination that I had somehow eliminated doubt. But that in itself is a picture, a false picture of how things are. All energy, thought, emotion is constantly passing through all of us and so doubt is always floating through there waiting fore you to hook onto it . . . which I did a couple of days ago when I sent something I had written to someone. I got a reply which implied that I wasn’t writing from hierarchy, and I felt dimmed by this pronouncement. I clocked all that – my own dimming– and brought myself back to self-value, but wasn’t fully healed until i re-opened my article and its beautiful powerful energy beamed out at me. Only then did doubt leave! But had I immediately read the other person I could have come back a lot sooner. Why did I hang onto this doubt about something that was untrue? It is a reaction because I di dnot want to feel the competition of the other person of who I am very fond.
Comparison is the death to true union just as doubt is the seed through which such evil enters.
Thank you for breaking down the ‘steps’ of what happens when we let doubt in. It will help to observe more when I have it happening myself.
Beautifully shared Simone. It is a powerful and revealing question to ask of ourselves as to where and how did the doubt comes in. As with this we firstly are accepting responsibility for our choices, and secondly we are willing to come to a deeper sense of truth. I find this empowering as what is offered is the opportunity to heal and let go of that which is obstructing me to deepening my connection with Soul, so that I walk in the shine of my light within, knowing without a doubt that this is who I am. As you have wisely said here ‘…there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ – the opportunity to be more of who we truly are.
I wonder if there can ever be a wrong choice. Wrong according to what? And it just so settles how our imperfect being put all together makes perfect brotherhood.
It’s seems quite a revelation when understanding there are no mistakes – simply an opportunity to learn.
It makes me ask why we are so uptight about a mistake – even a small one. What is it in us that we don’t simply observe what has happened and gently consider ‘how’ and move on with a fresh approach? It seems we can be embedded with thoughts that make us wrong and doubt our selves in a way that is harmful and sets us off on the our next move based on feeling all this, which in my experience then brings more of the same.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I love this Simone – very well worth remembering. Giving ourselves a hard time over ‘wrong’ choices only compounds feeling bad about ourselves. The question to be asked is what energy am I in that leads me to make those poor choices?
We pick and choose and with that let our mind run wild, instead of living life as a whole and learn to make choices that we deep down know are true to us.
When I trust what I feel and honour that feeling there is no need for doubt.
It is so easy to find ourselves In a bad head space and then compound it repeatedly until the self doubt lies at our foundation. It is gorgeous and deeply empowering however to know that we can stop that at anytime through taking a moment to breathe, feel our body and appreciate ourselves and in knowing that there is an understanding and a lesson to be learnt through every choice and experience.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This is such an important point Simone – so many of us (were taught) that if we get things wrong we are bad or not good enough. To turn this into the fact we can learn from every situation and turn crises into opportunities is a gift for humanity.
I love that our strengths are another person’s weaknesses and our weaknesses are anothers strengths. Thus it makes total sense to me to pool our resources and unite to make a much more solid union for all.
Doubt is definitely like a tsunami, a tsunami that completely decimates our potential.
I agree there is no need for doubt at all in life, everyone makes mistakes and everyone has things to learn and there is a lot of beauty in that. Doubts bring us down and keep us down, instead of allowing us to see the valuable lessons on offer, that once mastered allow us to move forward in a whole new way.
Simone your blog beautifully covers doubt, from my own experience I have found self-doubt to often be the start of a downward spiral as I dig myself in further and further rather than letting go, and not bashing myself up. I now know that self-doubt creeps in when I am not being present, so all I need to do is bring myself back to me.
Thank you for exposing doubt and the many strategies we use to beat us up, that, in the end do nothing but distract us from being present an enjoying life.
Esther, that’s so true when we get caught in a negative spin we are making a choice to not enjoy life.
Finding my way in life has brought me to the same place, where my choice to learn from what life presents, which has allowed me to evolve to the next point of evolution without judging. Thank you Simone, moving on through my ups and downs in life has been smoothed out thanks to what I learnt from reading your blog. I have found that the sooner I catch myself in a way that is self-loving the easier it is too quiet-en my second-guessing.
“I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.”
When in self-doubt this for me is so supportive, to further stop the tsunami what I have found supportive is to re-confirm to myself what does feel true, what has time and time again proven to be true to my body. Like my hands feel cold when going out in winter without gloves. Coming back to what the body knows builds whereas focusing on the doubt spirals. Thank you Simone.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”
This is so true, yet we have sayings like ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ that hinder this understanding. It is time to reveal to the world that we (every single one of us) are beauty and grace beyond belief. Accept that we don’t live this way, yet. So, therefore we are blessed with constant experiences for us to feel how far from our true beauty we live, that encourage us to return to it again. This is a direct gift from God to everyone of us, every day.
Self doubt. A common theme in my life. Although, truth be told, I’m slowly knock this bad habit out the window. How often I make a choice, then allow doubt to set in, only to be confirmed by my choice at a later date. This process has helped me realise that my initial feelings are generally spot on, and the doubt is simply a waste of time and most certainly draining of my energy.
Elodie, I loved reading your comment this evening as I observe how I allow doubt to set in, change to accommodate and then in retrospect realise that what I had originally felt was spot on. No doubt is my theme for tomorrow.
Hello Simone and from my experience what we give the most time and power too is the thing that we be there for us. So wonder, entertain, think and try and pull apart doubt then this is what is at your finger tips the next time you are questioned by something. As you are saying feel the doubt but also appreciate simply being you. There is no job, no reward or accolade needed for you to appreciate all you are. Some may say it sounds silly or a waste of time but the next time you trip what would you like to catch you? Doubt or appreciation? Then it is up to you what you live in every moment, keeping in mind what you live is the glove that will catch you, this is a guarantee.
To me the way we behave as human beings is in complete ignorance of who we naturally are as we do know everything from the inner-heart but we have learned that we cannot trust on that and that we have to make choices on rational thinking from the mind instead.
Sometimes I make a choice feeling sure and even with excitement, very much looking forward for it to unfold, and then it doesn’t turn out to be how I wanted it to be and I start doubting whether it really was a right decision in the first place. But then what qualifies a ‘right decision’? Holding up an image is a real spoiler for appreciating opportunities that are presented in front of us.
Hello Simone and this is a great way to look at things, “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This is simple and very freeing for me and us. The ‘right and wrong’ is a track back to the same place, always trying to recreate itself and chasing the myth of perfection. We aren’t perfect and were never built this way and so there is no truth or love in perfection. There is truth and love what you say though Simone and much to learn thank you.
“I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.” Spot on Simone and also when we realise we have made true choices this is an opportunity to appreciate ourselves.
If we get stuck in right and wrong we are bound to go into doubt! Best come back to being with our self. . .in our body . . and be real and out of our head.
Doubt is a killer. We have to back ourselves all the way, even if we are wrong about something. We can always see and say, ‘Oh yes I was wrong and I will learn from this’. Doubt is an excuse for not loving ourselves.
This would make a beautiful and very telling short film for everyone to see how very exhausting, time-consuming and unnecessary doubting is.
Doubt is incredibly exhausting but noticing there is even a choice to not doubt…that is a gift. Your blog is so important because it shows it is possible to learn to trust ourselves by choosing to build a connection with ourselves.
“But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.” It allows us to take a step back and observe, it simply gives us space to see and feel.
I have learnt self doubt and doubt is, in truth, is precisely what I know exactly to go to and know to do to offset my stability, solidness, strength, power, clarity and authority.
When these thoughts begin to haze my awareness – I simply say to myself (and them!) would my Soul speak like this? Would my heart sound like this? And if the answer is no, then there is no point in listening. Then I can come back to my body and see where my movements are at and how that sort of energy got entered my consciousness. This is a work in progress – such is life.
It is saddening how much we doubt ourselves and give ourselves a hard time. They way we speak to and treat ourselves is shocking, we would be outraged if we saw an adult treat a baby or young chid like that – so what has happened – to make us do it to ourselves or others?
I can really relate to that tsunami of doubt trying to reason itself – and in that I am still in the same energy of doubt and I am not at the place to change anything at all. What I am learning is to keep choosing to connect with my inner-most has a deeper meaning than I have allowed it to have before. It is actually what I am saying yes to, what part of me that I am endowing my power to.
Something I have realised recently is that there is seriousness without indulgence.. We can feel the responsibility and our part to play without throwing ourselves in front of the ‘tsunami’
Thank you for the reminder to stop and appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am through my glowing reflection back to me through the mirror. Yesterday at work while I was having a case discussion she stopped speaking to ask about my life as she informed me my face is just glowing so much she had to stop talking. I was able to allow this comment in and appreciate it.
Yes! Instead of comparing to another, we should apprecaite what they bring to the world. That’s why we are all different in one way or another 🙂
Whenever doubt enters my body, I know I have the power within me to change it through the quality of my movements, so no longer I have this default relationship with the tsunami of doubt as I have develop a more loving foundation of appreciation and confirmation for who I am.
Together we make up the extraordinary constellation that is humanity, and each one of us is essential for our collective evolution
Doubt counters power, so no wonder that we find ourselves in doubt when we seek to avoid our innate power to prevent being challenged, stand up for the truth, being rejected or judged, making others uncomfortable, exercise or demand accountability. Doubt not just takes the power away but even the awareness of having and the access to one´s power, it is truly debilitating.
I agree Alex, when we are in doubt we are not with ourselves but in the illusion that we do not know, while in our inner heart we do know from the connection with the all. It sounds like it is a set up for not taking the responsibility for the status our nowadays world is in.
The openness and willingness to learn is the freedom from perfection, expectation and judgement.
What we dislike or don´t want to feel we tend to push away but that doesn´t work at all but entangles us deeper in the problem. To change the state we are in we first need to accept what we are in otherwise we will only try to counter it but won´t be able to change the very energy or quality that creates and keeps us held in it. Quite a counter version to the reflex or reaction that comes up first.
When we let in doubt we already have left our self – the perfect combination to produce what we then call self-doubt, but actually there is no self-doubt just the absence of self and then the emptiness entered and filled by doubt.
It’s true Simone, when we allow an ounce of doubt to undermine us, a tsunami of doubt can follow that wipes us out.
If we considered that our thoughts are not ours but energies that are passing through us, it kind of makes sense that sometimes a thought might doubt or challenge another thought.
‘Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths’, so often we miss opportunities to learn from one another because we get caught in a spin of comparison or judgement. When we see another with a skill that we do not have we have a choice to embrace it and learn or we can choose to react to it with comparison and miss out.
This was superb blog for me to read this afternoon as I had been going into self critism for making not so supportive choices yesterday which leave me feeling a little below par. I can choose to either stay in that reaction or I can choose to feel how and appreciate all that I am and that each and every so called mistake is an opportunity for learning to do it differently next time.
A great blog for me to read today Simone, as I have just gone through what you have described, when going into the story and the justification of it, I am filled with anxiety and exhaustion, this all happens when the right and wrong come into play. When I realise and appreciate that these mistakes are here for my learning, it all dissolves and I am back with me and the lovingness that I am and come from.
appreciation is such a valuable, essential, understanding or expression that when embraced, is extraordinarily liberating for our expression and our hearts and our own evolution.
Lately I have been realising that I am actually backing myself and not going into doubt. I am open and willing to learn if I have made a mistake, but I will continue to back myself and not go into doubt r contraction of any kind. Somehow this is all linked up with ‘being right’ and ‘being perfect’ which is all part of a protection mechanism which does not work. I keep coming back to abide with me – me and God!
Simone, what a gorgeous understanding to bring – I have often gone into doubt in the past and it would absolutely overwhelm and almost paralyse me and as you say asking why in the middle of that is not very supportive, but bringing it back to the body and feeling how the body is after any choice we made is a great way to see, feel and understand how that choice impacts on us. What I learn increasingly is not to judge myself for those choices but to be grateful to my body for so clearly showing me what support me and what doesn’t. And reading this today ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ brings another layer, that we feel our choices, feel how they impact on us and learn from them, no not condemn ourselves to be stuck or lost in them. There is so much we can learn from life and there is no perfection.
Thank you for unraveling the ripple effect of doubt and how worthwhile it is to practice to get off this rollercoaster as soon as possible by stopping the tsunami of thoughts that keeps on coming and returning to that what is there. We are always much much more than any destructive worth-crashing thought can bring.
So much that is around our habit of going into ‘doubt’ comes from that destructive ‘right/wrong’ thought paradigm that has been inculcated into us from very young in our so-called Education. All we have to do is discard this harmful way of thought and be open to expressing from being connected with our body and our inner-heart and give freely. We can always learn from someone else and build from where we are, without feeling wrong or doubting ourselves.
Thank you Simone for pointing out what a useless, harming , waste of time going into doubt is! It parades itself and poses as being part of ‘the intelligent way of reasoning about things’, but in fact this is just part of a self-sabotaging game as you have so beautifully demonstrated!
When there’s doubt, if I am just able to feel the off-ness of my choice, all I need to do is just go with the feeling and bring about a change – but if I am somehow attached to the outcome, I come up with reasons and justifications and there enters wobbliness and anxiety.
Such a lightness in you and you offer for the reader when we read this blog. Mistakes are often so heavy and cumbersome but to see everything in life as a learning, is so light and refreshing.
I love what you share here and it is very timely for me. ‘If I get stuck on the fact that I made a ‘wrong choice’, I am taken out by the tsunami. But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.’ This is a great way to bring more understanding and acceptance.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This is such a powerful, liberating and self-empowering principle to live by.
When I go out of doubt pattern, I bring simplicity into my life, learning in a more loving way.
Simone great sharing on doubt. The ill feelings and affect of doubt now for me is a marker that I have taken a wrong turn. It is an indication to return to my self and feel what has presented. Life is an opportunity to be more – 24/7.
Thank you, Simone – I feel how being a student is about letting go of perfectionism, and appreciating the ones while appreciating the Whole which keeps expanding.
Dear Simone, your words simply take the power out of doubt and anything that comes with it. We are so used to certain behaviours that we see it as completely normal to behave and be in that way. With your angle on doubt, that there is no reason for it and that it does not change a bit for us other than bringing us down, we get offered a way of being with ourselves that is enormously supportive, uplifting and light.
You make a great point about the fork in the road choice that we come to when considering climbing out of the hole we have dug for ourselves in those moments when we go into doubt and continue headlong further into the downward spiral. Each time something like this happens, the fork in the road moment provides us with an opportunity for reflection, learning and developing. Even just noticing that we’re at this point in the cycle is enough to increase our acceptance of ourselves – and with it, we can begin to climb back out of our self-imposed meanderings if we so choose.
Beautifully simple to apply this understanding Brendan. l feel this is key to supportive behavior..”Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.” Great to do in shopping centers.
This is an incredibly similar pattern for myself..”Well, the first answer that rushes in is that “You weren’t being present, so you made that choice without really feeling what was needed.” This answer can sometimes take me to the doldrums of guilt and self-abuse. Yep, this just compounds the problem, making me feel even worse and more exhausted!” Most debilitating.
I love coming back to your blog Simone as it is such a poignant reminder to appreciate and honour the divine people we so naturally are.
“Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am”.
Thank you Simone, I love how you observe when a wrong choice has been made and the outcomes that can unfold from this. It’s great that one does not choose to give oneself a hard time over this as this does (speaking from experience) really compound the effects on your body. I love your simple way – accept
Thank you Simone for a great sharing, I can relate to what you have expressed, right and wrong have been a controller for most of my life, slowly I am coming to experience this line you have written “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”
Thank you Simone for a great read, one that I can so relate to, especially when I felt I have said something wrong and the way I then go into my mind to try and justify my actions, I call this going down the rabbit hole. Pretty yuk indeed. I have come to realise that a mistake is an opportunity for a deeper learning and appreciate this loving moment, no need for any rabbit hole.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning”.
Beautifully expressed Simone; what you present in your blog is very wise and powerful.
Doubt is physically very harming. It creates this emptiness within, where by another energy can run the show if we are not choosing ourselves and honouring what we feel. It also keeps us in our head and not present in our body to discern everything we feel after that. Thereby being able to take on a lot more stuff, as in other peoples emotions that do not belong to us. The constant second guessing is giving our power away rather than honouring and confirming what we knew and felt was true in the first place. So could doubt be a form of comfort – a comfort of avoiding responsibility? The responsibility of living our truth.
” each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning ” – you can’t help but feel the joy in living this way – especially learning. That’s the simplicity of what we are here to do – to learn to live in a way that supports us return to everything we already have been and are.
It is such a deception to choose to go into doubts, instead of seeing that where we are at is a result of our choices, and there is only a possibility to see what choices maybe haven’t been that beneficial to learn that all that we are is more than those choices. Knowing that it is just a choice is such a freeing thought, we are responsible for all that we do.
Just as we appreciate ourselves and this expands to appreciating others more when we judge ourselves we tend to judge others more it’s a great thing to let this judgement go. The expanding love that this makes room for is totally worth it.
Doubt pulls us down, taking away our confidence and destroying our faith in ourselves that then leads us to stagnation. We need to come to a stop moment and reconnect to who we know we truly are. Thank you for your inspiring sharing.
To expand a little more of the physical harm it causes – Doubt cause the physical body to contract, to reduce, which in turn affects the vascular system and the lymphatic system, that is my experience anyway, and with that there’s a holding back of expressing your truth and light – your whole body feels tense, which in turn affects the kidneys, ( enter exhaustion) your energy levels, your joy, and vitality – not to mention the nervous energy system in your body and levels of anxiety – it’s crazy what we knowingly do to ourselves, and in that confirm to everyone else that it is okay to do the same, which of course its not – all in all because we are in resistance to expressing our true light.
If we doubt ourselves, we are doubting God.
It is an ever unfolding isnt it Simone, doubt is like a dropped spanner that can foul up the workings of a machine, the more lovingly the machine is cared for and attended to the easier it is to notice when the spanner gets anywhere near where it shouldnt.
A beautiful sharing to return to Simon. I appreciate what you have shared that we are not wrong but just learning, I see a picture with L Plates and definitely not perfect, but then we cannot be !
Simone your blog is a beautiful reminder to not get caught in beliefs and ideals and what is right or wrong – for in truth there is only an opportunity to learn and make a different choice next time.
“But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself….” I loved being reminded of this today especially as I’ve had more moments than usual this past week where I have not always made choices that are the most supportive… it has reminded me that each choice is there to learn, to accept, and to make another choice…
No matter what choices we make in life, when we feel into the depth of who we are (I enjoy exploring this process with a walk), we are this shining glory that does not diminish. Yes we do make irresponsible or unwise choices at times, but these choices do not change the fact that we are absolutely awesome deep within. We cannot convince ourselves with a better way than feeling our awesomeness in our bodies, as then it is irrefutable.
I love how your blog lifts the lead lid of ideals and perfectionism and frees us to view making mistakes as opportunity for life lessons.
As Simone says, we can really be in a habit of being ‘stuck’ but our inner connection is infinitely flexible, and allows us to reconfigure in a moment, if we so choose.
Thank you Simone, this is a simply beautiful blog, doing away with judgment and condemnation, “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”
“I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body…” What a simple way to approach our choices – firstly to listen to our body – and secondly to do so without judgement. This for me naturally leads to more responsibility and an openness to listen to the body much more closely.
Simone, it was so lovely to come back to your blog. To see moments of wrong choices as opportunities to learn knocks self bashing and self doubt into touch and is very inspiring.
Simone, this is really supportive to read, ‘I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.’ If this was taught in schools then all of the self bashing and self doubt that we can experience as children and adults would not be necessary, if we saw life as a learning and were gentle with ourselves when we made ‘mistakes’, seeing things that come up are for us to learn from, then life would be much more simple and lighthearted.
This is the only true way forward and a very graceful one – ‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’
It is really powerful to simply allowing myself to learn without going into guilt or blame when I have made a choice that is harming. I can see that guilt is destructive and actually stands in the way of responsibility.
Yes Leonne – it’s like a double-whammy. The first impact is the harming choice and then secondly we then pile on the guilt etc…. which just makes the impact worse and stops us from taking responsibility for the first choice – learning from it and moving on.
It is our reaction that is the killer, making a mistake is part of life, we grow and grow by experiencing and thus making mistakes -reaction is in the way of our grandness. I haven’t mastered it either but I am very aware of how spacious and joyful my body feels when I allow myself to make mistakes.
Yes Leonne and in my case it led to a masses of self-loathing for not living my potential, when if viewed from a stance of self-responsibility and a longing to evolve, so called ‘mistakes’ are are great teachers.
‘There is only learning’. Love that line. It makes life and all our experiences in it much lighter. We don’t have to go into any form of self-doubt, guilt, criticism or blame anymore. As you said: just feel in the body the after-effects and learn from e.g.make different choices when a similar situation occurs again.
Simone this blog is a great reminder to us all that by accepting yourself and saying Yes to celebrating and appreciating you leave no room for doubt to linger. ‘Yes’ lights up those dark corners where doubt could hide and when the light shines on it, it shrivels up and dies for it is not real, it is just kept alive by our negative thoughts and if we banish those, no doubt can enter. By saying Yes, we say No to doubt.
True Appreciation, Acceptance, Celebration of ourselves is a simple way to banish doubt
So true Stephanie and l love how Simone puts this …”By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.”
This feels like a powerful prayer.
I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.
This is such a loving way to look at our mistakes. Thanks Simone.
When I am in doubt I have learnt to say so rather than try to make another feel better by fixing situations. Saying ‘I don’t know’ rather than pretend I do know (which is what I used to do) is very powerful because I allow myself to feel the vulnerability. In this I am also learning to trust in that the knowing which is already there within will come to me, I simply need to allow myself to surrender.
I used to be very indecisive, unsure of what to do most of the time and I can remember this happening very vividly as a teenager especially when I was around people. Today I am much more steady in my body. I am coming to realise that presence is key and so by living in a way that supports me to be present in my day no doubt helps me to eliminate those thoughts that can creep in and try to throw me into doubt.
This is a wonderful blog Simone and very relatable, not just to me judging by the number of comments. This is one of the sentences that I find really supporting ‘..when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.’
This is gorgeous Simone, ‘Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’ Wow how different life would be if we appreciated each other, didn’t doubt ourselves and what we bring and if we all worked together, this would be true evolution and true community, no need for competition, self-doubt, lack of self-worth.
How beautiful it is to treat yourself with love and understanding instead of flying into judgement and panic. Doubt is such a waste of energy. Love wins.
l love this Amanda. “Love wins”. When you deeply feel into this it really resonates. And when you commit to it in daily life love evolves.
I have come to realise doubt is a game we knowingly play to create complication – rather than choosing simplicity – with simplicity comes stillness, connection to God and our Soul.
Yes I agree Gyl, doubt creates drama, it is an avoidance of responsibility. It has been and still is but to a lesser degree a behaviour of mine that I will go into which is ironic because I adore simplicity! Gyl’s comment has made me stop to feel some resistance come up within me in that it is actually possible to have simplicity throughout my day and there doesn’t have to be doubt created to complicate things – thank you Gyl for your comment.
And it is a game I have played a lot in my life, the familiarity of this feeling of doubt can feel as if we cannot live without it but I agree Gyl it takes us away (knowingly so) from our connection to the Divine.
So true Annelies and Gyl. Doubt is a familiar place we go to when we don’t want to feel something. It is a comfort we go to that we have long used in this way. At some level, although it is painful we love to indulge in it and identify with it. I know I indulged in it yesterday before I had to get up at our Saturday Way of the Livingness and sing and play the piano. I sat beforehand in an agony of doubt, to prevent myself from deeply feeling how much I have been a wayward wanderer from the path and thus in the position I am today and not fully claimed. And I also was worried because I am not really a ‘singer’. But afterwards i realised, Who cares, you are what you are, so what if you are not brilliant at that! Doubt is a big player in the world of illusions we create.
And we have to work very hard to doubt, living who we truly are is so much more simple and it becomes easy the more we choose and accept the divinity in our body and life.
“So true Annelies and Gyl. Doubt is a familiar place we go to when we don’t want to feel something” – greta point Lyndy and the truth. I have used doubt as a way to not feel the the power and truth of what God has shared with me, yes I have felt this in my body, but we are all vehicles of divine expression, if we so choose, so it’s actually God expressing through me.
Good call that doubt creates complication Gyl and a what great awareness to learn.
“Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.” This is wonderful Simone as we are all pieces of the larger puzzle of humanity and we are all needed to share and express who we are without holding back the amazingness we possess. What an amazing puzzle to be apart of?
Dear Simone I can totally relate to the ever deepening of our learning and letting go..just take responsibility for my choices…accept me on a deeper level and stop the guilt or judgement…rather hold myself lovingly after having made a mistake.
With love
Nadine
Really simple and woooow, a great reminder to me to never ever doubt in myself. I am precious, I am light, I am love…
And true: there are only choices. One or another helps me to evolve.
Thank you Simone, I so appreciated re-reading your blog, as what you describe is something I have seemingly mastered in life, self-doubt and judgement. I love how you bring it back to self-responsibility and to the fact that every choice, every situation is an opportunity to learn. What I am learning is that appreciating this truth allows me to see the beauty in life and that it isn’t about being perfect or ticking the boxes but forever allowing more of our true selves out. I love that.
This sentence really sums it up for me Simone “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it”. I have no doubt that this is the key to unlock those destructive patterns that hold us back.
Yes Marion it is a powerful statement that rings so true and allows us to see that we are not victims of life it is our choice and responsibility, we can see each situation as a chance to learn and grow.
This super important Simone, as there is no right or wrong but only expression, and what we align to to express is the learning. ‘ I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’
I like your outlook of appreciating that every situation is an opportunity of growth and learning and with this comes the awareness of not being so hard on ourselves even when we do make mistakes
Yes Joe and if we can do this we will also be able to more readily appreciate others and not judge them either when mistakes are made. Once the investment in getting something right is gone we can see a mistake simply as a mis-take and learn from that to make a different choice next time.
Going into the ‘right or wrong’ is an exhausting and never ending game without a winner, we all loose. What you say is here is super important ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ And that is all our life is about, a learning way back to our Soul, no doubt about that.
Brilliant Annelies van Haastrecht. This I know very well and yet still trip over. Thank you for your confirming statement this morning. “our life is a learning way back to our Soul”
A lovely blog Simone. I love the fact that you show us how going from giving yourself a hard time for having self doubt, to accepting that { this happens to most of us} it is OK to have doubt and there are no mistakes but instead it is learning. That you can then appreciate the beauty that shines from within, is lovely. Thank you.
No doubt that everyone had doubt at least once in their life. What is priceless, Simone, is your awareness that “…when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.”
Simone, this is such a lovely comment and takes all of the judgement and self bashing out of the equation – ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’
I ask myself also Simone, why do I doubt myself? Why has this doubt been allowed to enter?
I am inspired by what you have presented and am encouraged to make more self loving wise choices and to remember what is not true.
I can totally relate to the vicious cycle of self doubt that you talk about Simone. The other day I was in it, but had a moment of clarity when I could see the game I was playing with myself. It’s like the self doubt is more comfortable than the full claiming of myself, and I use it as an excuse to play small and not take on the responsibilities that are needed. It was a great revelation to have 🙂
Great learning Eleanor, without judgment or criticism.
“It’s like the self doubt is more comfortable than the full claiming of myself”. It is indeed a game Eleanor, for once we see this we have no excuse left to not take full responsibility.
‘Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’ I love this sentence – the ‘need’ to be able to do everything drops away and I can feel the loveliness in sharing our strengths in brotherhood.
I can related to what you have shared in your blog Simone, thank you. Self care and self love are tremendous ingredients to support the body, so in times when that ‘doubt’ comes in, we have a body already prepared to return to, that reminds us what what we know is and is not true.
I love the following sentences Simone: “I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.” Imagine a world where all people are living like this – I guess we would not have the same world as we have today.
Pure gold – “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning”. I too am slowly wrapping my head around this one and love it because I have spent SO SO SO long being right or wrong and to lessen the grip that this has one me, is tremendous.
This sentence is indeed pure gold sarahflenley. The pressure I have put on myself to get things right and then feeling a failure when I haven’t has been huge. Although I am increasingly becoming aware of imposing this behaviour on another it is my responsibility to observe it in me without perfection. Knowing that every thing comes my way is an opportunity to learn takes the pressure off me. Accepting where I am at and remembering that there is no such thing as right or wrong is key.
It is the key indeed Caroline. I realised the other day how less hard I was on myself and gosh it was wonderful to celebrate that – how far I had come.
How true Sarah, and it changes the way we see mistakes when we realize that they are there to assist in our evolution.
Feels like a very simple equation. If we are choosing to be in doubt we are already made a step away from the truth we have already felt within.
..“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning”. If our choice is not true we will be presented another opportunity to choose truth.
I feel the same Margaret. To still doubt and worry about what was said or not said leaves us harming more then just stopping to appreciate what has been learnt by the experience.
It is that simple. For me in cases of self-doubt I know I was not present and I have let something in which led to self-doubt. Self-doubt is an after-effect for me. That helps and reminds me to reconnect to me again.
It indeed is that simple, I feel it has a source in the mis-trust we have built over time, and that is something that can be healed, by returning to our body and getting to know what is our truth trough this connection.
l agree Joshua and then this exacerbates the disconnect..”Then enters the voice of reason that makes a story out of anything and everything. This includes lots of complicated excuses and justifications to sort out the problem that was seemingly created, although it wasn’t really a problem in the first place. Phew, yep, still exhausted.” A vicious circle.
Thank you Simone you show us here how living responsibly is actually enjoyable
Doubt in self is a game and a time waster. God never loses sight of the amazing beings we are and so when we fall or doubt, trust in God’s plan. Your comment – ‘I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice’ – I remember to not go into creation of stories for they are not true – only the the essence of love we are is.
When mistakes are viewed as an opportunity to learn, then there is not this underlying torrent of self abuse that tears away at the fabric of who we are. In fact, with a more gentle approach to the mistakes we will all inevitably make at some point or another, these life lessons can be regarded as blessing each time, because they bring us closer and closer to the truth of who we are.
I can feel how much judgement there is in doubt. It is very often that self-criticising voice that causes me to go into second-guessing what I am doing, or that I could be doing things better.
The antidote to this is deeply appreciating myself and acknowledging that my mistakes are my most personal and perfect teachers. Without them I do not know what is truth.
When we get taken out by doubt or by how we treat ourselves for the mistakes that we make, we must have something pretty powerful to offer. These doubts can be very crippling and stop us from seeing all that we are and what we bring. I come back now and simply ask if they are true? Is this me?
I have gotten stuck in the “how could I have done this?” when I have made a mistake. I can feel that this opens the door to more harsh questioning and self-doubt. I have to admit that some of the learning that I have made have been harder to work through than others, but this is often around associated beliefs I have had on myself. I can feel the importance and the simplicity in the simple act of stopping and feeling, from there we open ourselves to the possibility of learning what this moment is there to teach.
Ahh the internal ‘voice of reason’ can bring so much complication when it’s coming from a place of self-doubt! I know this one well 😉 Taking a moment to stop and reconnect with my body and breath, bringing my mind to that focus really helps me get back to clarity.
“In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I have been experiencing this for myself over the last week or so and it is life changing. In fact it has allowed me to accept that when things go ‘wrong’ I am being supported and given the lessons I need to evolve. This is absolutely life changing for me.
‘I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.’ This particular sentence resonates so much with me – how I am with myself after the act of saying or doing something is the key to how I continue to build or crush my day. No judgement is a work in progress.
Simone what a great unpacking of how doubt enters and poisons our minds. l love your remedy. ls it really real? Who said we had to listen to it anyway? Through conscious presence you were able to claim yourself back. Awesome, simple steps. Thank you.
Yes Irena, it is so simple! We only need to be aware and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
It is very liberating to allow ourselves to make mistakes and to know that in truth this is an opportunity for learning not only for ourselves but for others alike. Thank you
Too true Francisco. Making mistakes is a learning, sometimes we make them several times, the key is to not judge ourselves, but reflect and learn why, as it is often not the actual mistake but something else that caused the mistake in the first place.
Great reminder Matthew, imagine if this is what our children learnt at school? While there are medals, certificates and trophies handed out for excellence and celebrating getting great grades instead of how they are with their fellow students, then making mistakes are often not naturally seen as a part of learning but a failure.
This is so true Matthew, ‘Making mistakes is a learning, sometimes we make them several times, the key is to not judge ourselves, but reflect and learn’, and as you say, to see what caused the mistake in the first place.
Hi Francisco I love it that you wrote that it is liberating to allow ourselves to make mistakes – this is something we do not learn at school or in the kindergarten. Perfection is not needed – only to give ourself the possibility to do our best every day.
I loved your stop moment of appreciation for your gorgeous beauty, not only feeling it but seeing it helps to cement and confirm it as a knowing in our body.
It is very beautiful to consider our place within the whole and to appreciate and confirm what we bring as our strengths, and receive others in their strengths, which allows for our weaknesses. Then we can free of ourselves of the evils of comparison and live simply, in divine harmony.
Dear Simone, this is a profound blog illustrating the power of appreciation, the practical application of what it means to live in brotherhood and blows perfectionist tendencies out of the way. It is a like a sutra, a lived learning from your experience that exists in the pages of our students of the livingness library, to support us in being who we really are in every day life. How many times have we all experienced doubt and questioned our capacity, our choices? And yet, to approach them as a simple opportunity to learn, then right and wrong cease to exist, just the responsibility of the learning.
The harm that being self-critical or regretful after any of our choices can be immense. Although the moment and effect of the choice may pass fairly quickly, regret and self-criticism can go on for much longer if unchecked. Acceptance and appreciation have helped me in understanding past choices and letting go of the hold they have had over me.
Wow this rocks…taking responsibility, being a part of the whole of humanity, not compounding issues or running off into stories…this has it all. BIG appreciation for that, and also because I am currently going through a similar exploration myself. I find that it all comes down to falsely attempting to control the outcome. When I begin a choice with the expectation I can manage the result in my mind I lose sight of the truth which is simply we can’t, yes you can choose what is loving or what is not in any given situation but the outcome is a reflection of that choice. Letting go of trying so hard to create outcomes that support me to not truly feel what is going on has actually resulted in me reducing the amount of doubt I have, as the outcome I aspired to was not there in the first place…love it!
Doubt can be very crippling, for in doubt, the negative thoughts flood in like a torrent. The only way to stop them in my experience is to bring presence back to the body. Start gentle, keep it simple, and surrender and accept that you are enough.
Every choice we make is a chance to learn, I can feel how doubt is trying to only make us feel less, and not giving us the chance to learn from it. But when we choose something else, make the choice to feel and learn, it only empowers us to be more.
Thank you Ariana, for calling out the real reason we buy into doubt! Once nominated – forever seen – and now only true responsibility can happen – a simple equation.
Funny how we can choose to go into doubt, and be full on love underneath at the same time. What a strange dichotomy.
” … appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am.”
Indeed Simone, stopping and truly looking at me in the mirror instead of rushing past it or just looking in a ‘functional’ way eg inspecting my makeup, causes doubt to just disappear, it’s simply not there anymore – it really is a magical tool for coming back to oneself.
Simone beautiful sharing – Looking in the mirror at yourself is an inspiring idea to stop that flow of negative thinking/doubts. Appreciation, sparkly eyes with that inner beauty being clearly felt would certainly be a new tool that I can add to my growing self loving kit bag – bringing self doubt (the tsunami that can just build and build with pressure) of any sorts to a halt in its destructive pathway.
Doubt is a killer to love and it is so insidious. It creeps in in silence like a snake and gives bites when you feel safe. Doubt is something which is lingering in the dark so I realize to learn to be truly aware which thoughts and energy I choose and how I move from place to place in order to give no power to any doubt.
Wow Simone I love this blog ! I did find myself having a nice chuckle about the “tsunami”. I love your sense of humour ! Isn’t it far less exhausting when we finally realise that in fact there are no wrong choices because as you say we can learn from them. I definitely appreciate how amazingly beautiful you are! Thank you for sharing.
Accepting responsibility is a key way to ensure doubt does not creep in. As soon as we allow ourselves to be negative or bad – we are equally not taking responsibility and instead going into what we have done, as opposed to observing and reading the situation. From there, as you say Simone we learn to learn, and that we are forever learning in our ‘degree of life’. What’s beautiful is there is no final assessment or outcome needed, just us being us, that we already are.
I can so relate to this blog and will undoubtedly come back to it several times. I feel empowered, thank you Simone.
Simone there is no doubt at all that this is a fabulous blog ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ How freeing is that? No right or wrong …just learning. 🙂
“Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am.” Self Care at its greatest.
Hi Simone, I love the fact that you are celebrating the great choices that you have made. Most of us simply do not celebrate ourselves enough when we make great choices.
There is never wrong or right, only learning…. wise words that when we truly embrace them life becomes a joyful playschool.
Yes jacqmcfadden04. It takes a little practice, patience and commitment to embrace learning from mistakes rather than being self critical.
There is no doubt that doubt comes in as negative emotion to mess with our heads in relation to things we have done and said. I have often made big decisions being sure that it was the best choice only after being played by doubt in response to a reaction or a reply. Once doubt slips in it tries to erode away the truth making for a foggy, and damp path back to truth. Thanks Simone a great article to ponder more about doubt and its ability to mess with us and truth.
A great sharing Greg and I completely relate how corrosive doubt can be to us and our truth if allowed to seep in.
The word corrosive Dean, is a superb choice of words to use to describe the effects of doubt. It can corrode us extremely fast or eat away bit by bit, altering who we are and how we interact in the world and relate to each other.
Yes Matthew, and how odd it is that doubt is pretty much a normal and acceptable way of society “Having your doubts” about things is just considered the usual fare of life. But that doesn’t make sense when we examine the widely known and deeply debilitating effects that living a life of doubt can have on anyone.
Doubts can stop us from ever backing ourselves, going for that job, asking somebody out, sharing something important that someone desperately needed to hear.
Doubt is not a life standard I will endorse. On the contrary it is an alarm bell for all of us.
Recognising we have gone into doubt is a great awareness to have, it means we are not totally immersed and at the mercy of the forces of doubt. Checking in and feeling for my breath is helpful in these moments and I especially like Simone’s emphasis on appreciation of the lesson at hand and re-connecting with the sparkle in her own eyes – that’s golden.
Thank you Simone, doubt is certainly one of my worst enemies as it can erode away much of the hard work that I have done! Doubt is a form of self-sabotage and it can certainly be very subtle in how it works its devious ways. The key for me is to catch myself should I go into the doubt, and this already pulls it to a stop. Then it is about appreciating myself and the qualities that I bring to myself and all those around me. Appreciation is like an antidote to doubt, and leaves no space for it to enter. And of course as mentioned by you Simone, there is the art of being with myself and aware of how I feel and what I do – there more I am with myself in gentleness, the less there is space for doubts to come knocking on the door. This has re-inspired me to trust more in myself and know that it is actually quite simple to give doubt the boot.
Doubt and self doubt can have significant consequences on the body. It initiates a cascade of changes that can and will have an affect on probably every system of the body. The vascular system, respiratory, nervous and endocrine system all get affected. It’s crazy to consider that if we bury the doubt in distractions, all of this is still going on in the background, gradually wearing us down.
Thank you Matt for sharing this. Yes our bodies are feeling the consequences all the time. No wonder we are so exhausted.
And I reckon that Universal Medicine has provided humanity with the tools to reverse the effects of exhaustion through connection and Self Care. When this is introduced into the body, the exhaustion seems to gradually fade and exhaustion is replaced with vitality.
That is so very exposing not only of what doubt does to our bodies, but also the fact that distraction is not the way to deal with the doubts we may have. Burying anything that we are feeling is like planting a seed. The seed will start to grow, it will try to find other ways to get our attention because it needs to be dealt with. We can end up with a huge, sprawling forest of an issue, which we end up trying to keep in check through the power of saying, “Forest? What forest? I’m looking at the sky.”
Wow Matthew thank you for this information. I ask myself why we are not aware of this or shall I better write why do we choose to not be aware of these effects. It is good to be reminded so that we can choose differently the next time and instead of self doubt or doubt we can choose to be more loving or acceptable with ourselves and so our bodies will be less effected and we are not so exhausted.
Yesterday i was participating at a concert and i felt quite joyful in my body but then when looking at people i started letting thoughts in which distracted me a bit from the quality i felt from my body. So this was a lesson not to get lost in looking with my eyes and my mind but focusing on the connection with my body and to hold that strong. Then there is less place for doubts to sneak in.
This is a very helpful blog for me and probably many others. I often go into doubt about things but if we look at everything as a learning curve, well there is no wrong just learning. Obviously if we don’t learn from these things then it becomes a problem.
Yes, it’s definitely helpful to read about doubt and to better understand and become familiar with the two ways we can be – with doubt or without doubt.
So true kevmchardy, and also if we are trying to be perfect there is no learning. I see this a lot when it comes to children with doing homework or assignments, and I can definitely relate myself… looking at things not sure if I’m able to do it and then letting doubt creep in. What I’ve found is that when I make something bigger than what it is, doubt has a field day, and its not until I stop and bring understanding to what is needed that I cut it out.
I agree kevmechardy it so much simpler to see everything as a learning possibility – this made it easier for me to get it . If I am not learning from it yes these things will become more complicated.
Doubt undermines all that we are – it is like the foundation gets shifted by this force and we start to crumble. I am aware that choosing doubt has consequences that run and run. It stops now.
Yes doubt is very undermining as we all well know and what you have said Lee highlights the critical importance of having solid foundations. It is the solid foundations we have in life that allow us to not only withstand doubt when it comes but also expose it for the poison it is.
So true Dean – our foundations can be built of sand or steady as rock.
Wow Simone, I can so relate to the tsunami effect whenever a supposed issue comes in and I love your playful spin on what happens and the outcome, very real and very true. When we allow the dust to settle and just let ourselves be, that unmistakably gorgeous feeling you get from just feeling you, is just priceless.
“By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” Every choice we make is a learning and it is never a bad choice as there is always something else to learn. If the choice was a slightly shaky one, that’s cool you are aware of it now and can adjust for next time. Life is about loving and learning from everything. That is definitely something to celebrate.
Well said Simone, our different voices all tell a different tale – anything to keep the story going …. But none of it truth.
Yes Jenny, we have a gazillion stories and just as many justifications for why they are each valid… It is very liberating (healing) to let go a story to feel and deal with what hurts are being guarded underneath.
Thank you Simone for a great blog, one that I can well relate to. I too have had the habit of beating myself up if I have said the wrong thing, or spending time in justification. It has become a very tired road to be on. As I give myself permission to make mistakes, and realise, that this is an opportunity for learning, the old habits are slowly dying.
I love this Jill as it is very much a process of letting go of old ways; we have berated or put ourselves down and the opportunity that is actually there to embrace the learnings that come from our mistakes to see it all in the beauty that it actually is.
I agree Jill. To see the moments when we make mistakes as opportunities to learn from rather than beat ourselves up is a game changer.
I agree Jill, there is a sense of freedom which comes when we give ourselves permission to make mistakes, and to admit that we are not perfect and never will be. Like you have said ‘the old habits are slowly dying’, but well worth the effort.
Building a relationship with our mistakes is one of the greatest thing that we can do for ourselves. As you said, Jill, it is an opportunity for learning. Probably one of the best there is.
Yes Jill, not beating ourselves up if we make a mistake, like if we have said the wrong thing, is far more loving. It is about accepting our selves as we are, and that at times we will make mistakes, and letting go of our old ways whilst choosing to be the love we are.
Simone this blog is wonderful. I am just also working on becoming deeply aware of the different tsunami-patterns I have worked out in my life, from doubt to self-destruction and so on. For making a conscious choice at the right moment, I have found beautiful vision. When a thought enters (for what ever reason it does) I am standing on a springboard of a pool better to say from two pools and it is my choice in which one I will jump into. The left one is the self-bashing pool and the first thought in former times had made me immediately jump into this pool and made my abusing laps in this medium. Now I am deciding on every thought to jump into the pool of love on the right site. And it is so true what you are writing, that it builds up a ground to walk on, to “appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am”.
Love this Stefanie – two pools – which one will we choose?
Love the simplicity in this too Lee; the two pools. Stefanie like you I am jumping into the pool of love – this is the pool I choose to swim in and learn all that there is to learn surrounded by love.
Beautifully added Jacqueline, in the pool of love we “learn all that there is to learn surrounded by love”. Thank you for this completion of my daily support of choosing love instead of abuse!
The pool of love.
Me too Sally Green, me too.
Yes- we do go into madly driven, self abusing laps in that self bashing pool, Stefanie. I love the metaphor – it works as a metaphor and quite literally, as I often see many people at the pool or at the beach doing self punishing laps physically, too! Driven on by they choice to dive into the wrong energetic pool…
Love this too Stefanie and Jacqmcfadden04. Two pools to choose from, one self bashing or one of love to learn everything surrounded by love. This last is my pool of choice and it is great to know that if I fall in the self-bashing pool I can simply climb out and jump into the pool of love again.
Beautiful diana1975, “if I fall in the self-bashing pool I can simply climb out and jump into the pool of love again”. There are just two energy-sources I receive my thoughts of – so identifying the pool I am swimming in is actually very easy. And a great decision, to not “think about WHY I am swimming in this self-bashing pool?” but simply changing the pool and introducing love again. The more I know the “smell” of every pool the quicker I am able to choose love. To “simply climb out and jump into the other pool” feels very playful not serious but very committed. I like it.
That is a great point you raise here Stefanie, by not giving a great deal of energy to why you are swimming in the self-bashing pool, but understanding and realizing it is not the pool for you to be in and choosing to get out and choose to swim in the pool that supports and confirms who you truly are, feels very powerful and loving.
Yes, I love the simplicity of the two pools we can choose, and if we fall in the self bashing pool we can simply climb out and immerse our selves in the pool of love, which is where I choose to be.
This is a great image, Stefanie. It always comes down to a choice of which side we will choose. Even if we decide to not make a choice we end up taking the unloving side, because there is always a choice to be made, and it is our responsibility to make them, not give them up to be made for us.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I have often worried about getting it ‘right or wrong’ but this quote is the antidote to doubt and universal life-changing lesson – thank you.
This is gold Arianne, thank you for highlighting this quote.
This is a great blog and understanding of doubt and self doubt and the living appreciation and presence of ourselves as who we truly are that eliminates doubt and allows a joy of who we are. I love the reflection that “I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.” Thank you Simone.
This just come at perfect timing for me Simone – “By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” I had a short thought today ( of course not mine….) where I was considering to doubt and do give my self a hard time over something, and the moment I realised that that was where I was going with it, thankfully I could immediately stop that and just connect with me, my breath and enter into stillness, where that thought had no place anymore,it just dissolved.
“Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.” I love your words here Simone; working in brotherhood we can unite in harmony.
Yes Sueq2012 what Simone has offered here is a far cry from the way things are, and from what we’ve accepted as normal. To be reminded that it’s ‘brotherhood’ that’s normal, that unity and harmony are our natural ways with one another is quite a reversal from the current state of the world.
It shows how far we have gone the other way when there is so much focus on being individual and beating each other in all areas of life – sport, school, work, societal standing etc. But there are many who know that this is not our natural way of being with each other and are living in a way that honours and celebrates each others qualities.
Yes I agree Aimee, there are many who are beginning to question the place of sport especially, and many more who do not partake for the varying reasons they may have. It is still the case largely though, where this is seen as a ‘lesser choice’ unless one excels in another area, and can hence be justified in not also being ‘good at sport’.
Yes this is happening all of the time Jenny, “It is still the case largely though, where this is seen as a ‘lesser choice’ unless one excels in another area, and can hence be justified in not also being ‘good at sport’.” Just yesterday someone mentioned a man’s name and I said ‘who is that?’ well I was looked at like a came from another planet not to know that this was a well-known ice hockey champion of all time. It shows how much people are ‘respected’ and adored for what they do not who they truly are inside. And as we have seen over time that when people who have been put up on pedestals for what they do, and seen as not equal to everyone else, put away their ‘talents’ then where does it leave them? A lot of time even if they have felt to stop, many come back to where they are seen again for what they do.
Yes Aimee, we have glorified sports ‘stars’ to our enormous collective detriment… championing talent has far reaching effects, and putting people on a pedestal for their achievements continues to cement the false belief that our worth is in what we do, and not who we are.
The title ‘No Doubt’ is clear and simple and it feels very solid, why would we go out of this solidness and choose to doubt which brings feeling insecure and anxious? It makes life complicated and I can say I have chosen this a lot to not feel what I was capable of and to avoid my responsibility to live my light in full.
I feel that, too, Annelies: it is definitely anxiety and complication that open the door to doubt in my experience. The anxiety is the first emotion and then the head kicks in with a story or a litany of past, recalled experiences that justify the anxiety. Beneath all of this as you say is an avoidance of loving responsibility and so it is all just a time wasting game, really.
Such a time waster and we bring it in to avoid feeling what is truly going on. It’s worse than Facebook!
You have so well exposed complications doubt brings in, Simone. And I totally agree with you, Annelies. Trying to reason doubts feels very complex and unnecessary in itself.
Doubt is when we ignore the fact that we do know everything but lose connection to our inner self and the mind wanders off, so it is a valuable lesson to come back to all that we are. “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” Thank you Simone.
So true Mary doubt is when we loose the connection to our inner self and ignore that we know everything . It is about responsibility and feeling the effects of our choices and coming back to all that we are. Knowing that we are forever learning, forever students of the Livingness.
I like what you share here Mary Adler “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it.’ And if we would add appreciation to this then it is almost impossibile for doubt to creep in.
I agree Mary and Simone, ‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ And as you say Mary, we do know everything as long as we choose to stay connected, that seems to be key.
‘ By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’ This is soooo simple and clear, Simone. The choices are the result of our lifes and I detect more and more how my choices are simply if I choose to react or if I observe and go on from this place. The reactions are so normal for me that it is a totally new approach to life to not react.
I saw a shooting star last evening, and on a walk this morning, a robin was bathing in a puddle right in front of me. These little joys that I am being given show me that that I’ve made a couple of good choices lately!
Simone re-reading this blog again has been gorgeous and very supportive. When we’re hard on ourselves we spiral. Accepting the challenges, accepting each choice we make as a learning to evolve and grow is what allows us to surrender and open up to more love. It’s not always easy and for me even learning to not be hard on myself for being hard on myself has been a huge key! the moment I really clock this I can’t be hard on myself any more — instead what I feel is my vulnerability and fragility and I want to cherish and care for myself with so much love and care.. That is what being hard on ourselves prevents us from doing.
” …there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This line stood out to me today as I learn that learning can be an absolute joy when it is embraced as being something that will never end, there is no destination, simply an expansion and then a deeper understanding/learning.
I love this too Simone, in this there can also be no judgement as we accept each moment for the learning it brings. In this way the joy can be brought back into responsibility as we understand how to live in a way that is never harming to others, and that is living ever closer to our true light.
I have to literally say to myself ‘don’t think’ in order to stop the flow of mental energy rushing into my head. When I say these words to myself it is easier to cut my train of thought, and less likely that I will believe my thoughts or go into doubt. Being present with my body is then the focus that replaces the thoughts.
Great blog Simone… Doubt can become a nemesis if we so allow it. Where there is self-connection, self-acceptance and self-love life’s decisions become clearer and simpler and there is no longer room for doubt to creep in.
I love what you share here Simone, I can relate to what you share as I have indulged in feeling ‘doubt’ in areas in my life in my past. Because I saw myself in a lesser way I would feel the decision I would make would be wrong, definitely kept me in a spin and feeling powerless. I feel the greatest thing that has supported me as well as been bringing more appreciation and acceptance to myself and that there is no such thing as ‘wrong’ as this line of yours sums up beautifully -‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’
Simone – you nailed it. My day is going to be a celebration after reading this – and all those around me are going to feel the benefits of me being more me. A healing for so many is received from your expression and wisdom. Thank you for getting me off the merry go around. x
” … feel without judgment … ”
Great, Simone, this feels like the key to me because as soon as any judgement is dismissed, then clarity, realness and acceptance is there … thank you for the key 🙂
That is a saying to recite often particularly when we go into anxiety or challenge. ‘Feel without judgement.’ Even just saying it, space opens up.
Giving in to doubt is the riptide after the tsunami, it will just suck you even farther away from your self. If we can hear the warning siren, our oops, for what is approaching we can take the high ground. Here we can see and feel what our choice has caused and learn from it.
When we are connected to our essence we simply KNOW. When you know something there is no doubt. If you said to me I have a nose and I said no you don’t you have three noses you wouldn’t suddenly doubt how many noses you have as you nose ha ha!! Therefore doubt is just showing us a bit of a lack of connection or presence and rather than go into the doubt better to take a moment to reconnect to our source that is all knowing.
Love and Truth is what we are all looking for but instead we get hung up on right and wrong which will never satisfy and only exhaust as Simone has shared.
Very true Nicola, it’s getting caught within the right and wrong that keeps us hard on ourselves and cut off from the love we actually are. Every situation, every choice we make, when we look at it from love, there is never judgement. There is a deepening of an understanding we can have with ourselves to fall in love with ourselves even more deeply and to evolve from the lessons we continue to have — our lessons in life are ongoing.
“Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.”
When I’m giving myself a hard time, criticizing myself and I happen to see my reflection in a mirror I am often taken aback by the gorgeous beauty I see reflected back to me, which doesn’t at all fit the self-bashing image I have allowed to enter in my head.
So well said Thomas and very confirming to hear – I just looked in the mirror earlier today and thought exactly that after giving myself a bashing that really would have won a prize if there was a bashing competition.. 😊
What a series of great comments. Thank you Thomas Scott.
“By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realize there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” Reading this Simone was very healing for me, and it stops the constant self-bashing and self-criticism. Self-appreciation is one of the best ‘life insurance programs’, so to speak, one can invest in. By constantly appreciating oneself, ones life and the choices we have made, helps eliminate the strangle –hold of self-doubt and criticism we hold over ourselves.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This is an excellent insight Simone, I find it very helpful in taking away the constant evaluating of judging mine or others actions and right or wrong, good o bad. When viewed in this way that every choice presents a learning, a possibility to gain more insight, more evolution it allows us to make mistakes and not have the constant pressure of being perfect.
Once we understand that there is neither “right” nor “wrong” and both are just different ways to learn, a massive burden will be taken from our shoulders, as there will be no more pressure to do things right or the fear of doing something wrong.
Yes Michael, without the tyranny of the ‘right and wrong’ paradigm, we can fully back ourselves – whether we turn out to be correct to not – and expand and learn . . .without that undermining worry that we might be wrong and dealing with the punishing consequences. Crime and punishment will be obsolete terms one day.
Love this Lyndy and Michael.. it does take away the burden, and the judgement and self-criticism, that feeds the doubt and fear of getting it wrong – guaranteeing of course what comes next to not be in its full expression. Remembering that love never punishes it just beholds- waiting for us to step back once more, to accept and to live more fully from its truth.
Beautiful Annie! ‘Love the beholder’ – music to my ears, particles, and very being.
“I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.” this is such an important reminder of not falling for a pattern that really doesn’t work.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” If we grew up knowing this how different would we feel about ourselves and how much more responsible would humanity be as so much of life is based on ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ rather than what is True. In truth there can be no doubt.
Love the title no doubt! First thing I feel for me is when doubt takes over into a spiral of “I don’t know” is when I have not accepted or acknowledged that ‘I’m in doubt’. Its been a miraculous awareness for me those things ‘I think’ I do not know or not good at – are the things I am good at and I have not appreciated that I am.
Doubt is a creation that allows us to make it all about ourselves instead making it about the all – how it should be.
And with the doubt also the unsureness and anxiousness kicks in. With no doubt there is no entry for anxiousness. Taking responsibility is in fact getting rid of a lot of strange emotions.
True Sandra, yesterday I was faced with a situation at my work I had never done before and I always dreaded, immediately I doubted whether I was capable handling this situation and there was the well known anxiousness in my body. There was no one I could turn to so I just had to do it and by connecting back to my body and saying to myself you have been offered this task and we never get something offered that is impossible I felt the support and I accomplished it without any trouble.
Thank you for sharing this Annelies. In fact no one can ever take our responsibility from us…and we all can learn that we can not make it right or wrong. It is always something to learn and we serve a higher purpose – if we actually realize or not – and so it was, is and will be always ‘just’ a developing offer which we can take now or delay.
That is a beautiful example Annelies and shows how regaining trust in that we are fully equipped to handle what life offers us, doubt just melts away.
Doubt in fact is denying our knowing.
Spot on Sandra schneider
Yes Sandra and Diana1975! And in that it is a direct denial of God.
Yes Sandra, and doubt is disconnecting from our knowing. When we disconnect the doubt enters and distracts us from our knowingness.
I just started to write a blog about the power of appreciation it doesn’t leave any space for doubt or being critical about oneself and others but supports us and others to keep growing and taking more responsibility.
Appreciation is vital, I realise this more and more, and look forward to your blog on the subject.
I couldn’t agree more Janina, self appreciation is indeed a powerful tool and has the ability to take the rug from under the self doubt – as I have discovered on numerous occasions.
Thank you Simone Lewis for your short blog which delivers a lot about this word DOUBT.
Gosh is what I say as for me it has been a killer and so not needed.
A few years ago a wise woman said to me ‘never ever doubt yourself’ and boy oh boy she was right and it works and things are a lot easier. However, I am not on the perfection road and never want to be so it does creep in but as long as I pay close attention to my body I can feel its like a thought that is not mine and it disturbs me. I actually say get out and just move or stick my hand out and say NO. Sounds crazy but it is practical and simple and it works for me.
I know that with my foundation of Living Truth to the best of my ability and applying the teachings for Serge Benhayon in my daily life, there is no space for self doubt and if it comes in I sure know how to knock it out.
I love your very robust and practical approach to dealing with negativity and self doubt, very inspiring and so you – down to earth and absolutely divine.
Beautiful Bina, you are an inspiration. Living and developing an ever stronger foundation in daily life, leaves less and less room for doubt and anxiousness to gain traction. You have helped me to understand that we need not give our power away to such destructive thoughts and let them run us, but rather simply say No! and keep confirming and honouring what we feel is true. Understanding that we do know truth, it is only a matter a committing to be open to a greater awareness of it.
If we also can be super honest about when and how we sabotage ourselves and how it feels to bring ourselves down like this, then we can learn to steadily build a foundation of of living with love that brings an understanding of who we are, and an ever greater awareness of what is true and what is not. Then doubt will simply not be possible.
Yes it is when I start to doubt the whole lot of thoughts come in and won’t stop until I stop trying figuring it out in my head. I love feeling my body too as well as connecting back to myself through looking into the mirror until I see and feel the beauty in myself again. It is really a choice I found as when in the negative and doubtful thoughts it seems difficult to love myself yet with knowing it is there it always comes out when I look into my eyes.
I love this line: “there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” That pulls the rug right out from underneath the conundrum of doubt and self judgment.
I can so relate to what you have expressed here Simone; yes self doubt and lack of confidence is a choice, but at times it’s so hard to dissolve the long held patterns. Accepting and appreciating our own, and others, strengths and weaknesses is the key.
Yes Mary and when we are connected to our bodies, confidence oozes from every cell and particle of our being. That is something to celebrate everyday.
I so agree, it’s all in the connection to self, body and breath – such a simple tool yet at times we tend to forget… luckily we can always make the choice anew at any moment.
So true Brendan, truth is absolute and there is no room for doubt in that.
Thank you for making it clear Simone, self doubt is a choice to confuse oneself in order to avoid responsibility.
Self doubt is a choice to confuse oneself in order to avoid responsibility, for sure Bernard, the responsibility of truly being the love that we are. As that love is void of doubt as it knows it is absolute.
When we claim the truth of who we are and live in a way that confirms this with ourselves we create such a strong foundation that we can see when the doubt is trying to enter and simply choose otherwise. In my experience it takes lots of practice to bring this into expression but the more I appreciate myself, the more natural it becomes.
Doubt is insidious and can be a bit sneaky to keep us small and disconnected from ourselves and in turn others, This blog is marvelous – I particularly like “one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity” No doubt about that but sometimes can be a challenge to apply if we let doubt get a foothold all manner of things can distract us from the truth of who we all are.
I agree as if we live with the knowing and acceptance of what we bring there can be no room for doubt.
‘But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.’ This too was a turning point for me Simone in relation to self doubt. Once I saw every choice as an opportunity to learn and understood that there was actually no such thing as a right or wrong choice, self doubt went out the window.
Exactly Mary! And building confidence is for me being more in my body. When I am connected to it, things can never shake me as much as being only in my mind and disconnected.
Doubt comes in from not allowing to feel your own absoluteness. Everything we decide from that place, there is no reason to doubt it. What a great set up from the mind to create this unsureness to keep us busy with thoughts instead of stepping in our power and living the purpose why we are here.
Well said Steffi!
Well said steffihenn and I agree everything we decide from our own absoluteness is without a doubt.
Here here Steffi, when we are in our absoluteness and knowing, there is no place for doubt. It is an excuse we use to not be all of us and bring what we are here for.
Yes steffihenn I create doubt to keep me away from the absoluteness I am and know myself to be. It’s crazy to think I deliberately distract myself with doubting thoughts all because I don’t want to accept my power but what I am learning most of all is not to beat myself up when these thoughts come in but to accept the situation and then make a different choice to bring myself back to being present.
This is such a lovely sharing Simone. Appreciating our selves and backing ourselves 100% in learning. Sometimes we have to experiment to discover for ourselves what our real truth is. Not judging that is so very important as you share, the consequence is then doubt which I know I find crippling.
I love what you write here that together we are part of the whole that makes up humanity. One of the (many) things I have loved about the presentations from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is a deeper understanding (and celebration) of this. That we are all literally in this together and together we make it up. So each one of us plays a part and one much more significant than we think. It takes the ‘i’ out of team :-).
And confidence is intrinsically linked with our connection. When we are connected we experience and exude a natural confidence because in conscious presence we can feel exactly how, when and what to express – no doubt at all. Actually presence and confidence are synonymous.
And confidence is linked to our connection, which is why this is so important, ‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am.’ because Simone is re-connecting, and appreciating herself.
I love the idea that appreciation is the antidote to doubt Brendan. It insinuates that lack of self-appreciation is the forerunner for doubt to enter us and it makes it very clear how to work with our own ‘doubt tsunamis’ and those of others. The interesting thing I have noted is how difficult it can be for many people to appreciate themselves. They seem more comfortable to with self-criticism. It is something we need to focus more on practicing in raising and educating our children, with ourselves and with each other. And what a lovely practice it is.
” … it makes it very clear how to work with our own ‘doubt tsunamis’ and those of others … ” This is a great tip for me at work, thank you, Jeanette and Brendan … I have conversations with many people in my workplace each day and reminding someone to look at what they do do well and to appreciate this and themselves will be very helpful.
When in no doubt, everything around me just flows effortlessly and whatever is presented in front of me in life, I am able to handle. Everything seems possible.
Once that doubt creeps in, its like a ripple effects of not feeling good enough that I feel in one area that leads to another and then to many more. Yes, stopping to check in at some stage and feeling my body and going to gentle breath meditation is what seems to help and support me to bring me back to feeling my body and coming back to being present. Thank you for this simple yet powerful blog on doubt.
We have to understand that doubt is consciously created by us. Our natural state is not doubtful, to stay in doubtful thoughts you have to call instantly stuff in to stay in that state of being. The mind tells us it is real and we have to sort it out in our head- but did you realize as well- you will never get an answer in your mind.
Maybe doubt is a subtle form of resistance …. it’s thrown in there to slow us down, create a little wobble – it’s certainly not coming from our soul, a good question to ask is ‘what are we aligning to’ that has created an opportunity for the doubt to sneak in.
For sure, doubt is tactic we use to hold ourselves back from living who we really are and staying in separation. For me it has existed simply from not dealing with my hurts. Clearing my hurts out of my body and confirming and appreciating myself, the doubts are seriously losing their hold of me.
This is so beautiful and what a joy it is that we are all learning each and every day. It is now 09:15 and I have already learned sooo much today. I am just appreciating this now and celebrating the enormous opportunities that life is giving me. Hoera!
And I celebrate you- love reading your comments, always simple, playful and easy to connect to – Thank you for YOU 🙂 Hoera*
A tsunami of doubt is a great way to describe it Simone – one small niggle and the flood gates of thoughts are open – I remember this well. The more I trust in and appreciate my body as a finely tuned instrument of wisdom – and treat it accordingly – what it feels, what its telling me, becomes so much stronger than the doubting thoughts that are hanging around waiting for any in.
It is so simple yet brilliant Simone how you described the process of how we let doubt in and then complicate it a bit more. Taking out the judgement and just observing when we make a choice from the wrong place is so much more gentle on ourselves and allows the next choice to be made from what we truly feel.
This statement is made in absolute knowing Brendan there is no space for doubt to come in claim what we feel and we have felt the truth in any situation.
doubt has been a huge one for me, but I now realise its like a secondary symptom – when I go into doubt it means I have already been living in a way not confirming of myself and appreciating and or growing as needed.
Exactly where I am working on at the moment Rebecca. Confirming myself throughout the day, filling my day with ME. How? In being present in how I move and express..
Yes Rebecca, doubt is a secondary symptom of not living in a way that is confirming appreciating and learning, thank you for this valuable expansion of Simone’s blog.
Brilliantly said Rebecca. I can certainly second this. It’s great to realise doubt is not real and simply can be noticed and let go; to pay attention to appreciating and confirming myself and be honest about areas I have kept myself small so next time the opportunity arises I can bring all of me to the table.
Well said – I can chose doubt or I can chose to learn, grow or be more loving
That doubt is not real, a revolutionary idea Karin because many people are plagued by it, have their lives very badly affected by it and spend fortunes on therapists to help break it. However, I must say I agree with you. When doubt creeps in I can now easily say ‘that’s not my thought’ and if I say ‘I don’t know’ I stop and say ‘wait a minute, yes I do’. By doing this doubt is disarmed and it disappears in a puff of smoke. If I can do this so easily then doubt is not real, it is a track of the mind. The most important thing I have learned from Serge Benhayon about doubt is to not give it my attention, to not follow doubting thoughts into stories that makes them real. Appreciation is a great tool to add to the anti-doubt tool box and one that may decrease the frequency of invading self-doubting thoughts.
I love this Karin – “…next time the opportunity arises I can bring all of me to the table.” Me too, so awesome!
If we look at the true definition of the word evil, which you can read in full here – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-evil.html. Then we can see that self doubt is in truth evil, as “Evil is – anything that keeps one away from their inner-heart and thus from their soul.”
I would say self doubt is a comfort, the opposite to simplicity, a way in which we can choose to identify ourselves with a story or a complication, which in turn delays our evolution.
Very clearly put Gyl, self doubt definitely makes life complex and then we create stories and our identity around that, our spirit will grab hold of anything that identifies it as being separate and self doubt seems to be a favorite!
Gyl your comment has stopped me in my tracks today. I haven’t thought of doubt as being comfort, but you are absolutely right. Doubt keeps us where we are at and doesn’t call us to step up and be more. If we keep choosing doubt, we are choosing not to evolve.
Donna- I appreciate the clarity in this line you wrote ‘Doubt keeps us where we are at and doesn’t call us to step up and be more.’
Absolutely Gyl, doubt begets more doubt and if we’re not aware and allow this it retards our evolution.
What i felt after reading your blog Simone that i have focussed more on bashing myself than on appreciating because deep down i knew so much i do doesn’t support me but didn’t want to take the responsibility for it. But this is a trick to stop me evolving further. And what does truly support us is to appreciate us from where we have come from, and where we are today. And it is amazing to see the transformation within the Student Body of Universal Medicine. We need to focus more on what works and not what doesn’t to keep on expanding that what works.
” … this is a trick to stop me evolving further … ”
aha it’s great to call this out and thus be taking responsibility – I know this behaviour well too!
Well said Janina. Society sets up to focus on the self-bash, there is very little in our upbringing which supports a foundation of appreciating ourselves. And absolutely, is this deliberate? Appreciating is the way to go – we are all of a divine essence, so there is always something to appreciate – especially when we understand there is no wrong, only an opportunity to learn and make different choices.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I love reading your blog Simone thank you for sharing this with us.
When we replace doubt with permission to learn, and by that learning make mistakes, then there is a freedom afforded to us that is unconditional and deeply self accepting. This is a beautiful way to live because it diminishes judgement both of ourselves and everyone.
I am so with you Shami. Permission to learn and make mistakes offers us a beautiful space from which to understand ourselves, others and our world. A celebration of life and our unfolding.
If we learn something from a mistake is it still a mistake? Perhaps sometimes it is even a mistake to think something is a mistake. Maybe some of the things that we call mistakes are simply opportunities for evolution (learning) for ourselves and others.
Now I have got myself wondering what is a mistake? How often do we let ourselves be ruled by such concepts without really questioning what is really going on? In the end it is always about which energy we align to and express – does it come from our Soul (in connection to our true selves) or from the Astral (in separation to our true selves)? Everything thereafter is a consequence of that choice or alignment. Choices made out of separation offer us a reflection that we often call a mistake and also an opportunity to reconnect.
I agree Nicola there are no mistakes. Everything we do and every interaction is an opportunity to learn, whether what we do turns out well or is a disaster. It is a gift, a gift to go further and to learn and understand more about ourself. An opportunity to evolve for all involved.
I agree Nicola, there’s no such thing as a mistake, only a learning and this truth I am developing more and more in my day as I live knowing and express to others that I am not perfect and that life is all about learning.
” … permission to learn … ”
I love this! It reminds me of how I used to be, before self-judgement etc became my norm … ie I feel “deeply self accepting” again, back to the innocence of childhood and who I really am, and I can feel the “freedom” you mention, yippee 🙂
I love this Simone, ‘when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself’. So simple, but being able to do this can change everything. I am becoming aware of how important self acceptance is, I used to be very critical of myself and this really kept me small. Now I appreciate myself i can feel my confidence and love for myself grow.
I love this blog Simone, and can very much relate to it. Doubt is an exhausting game to play, it takes more energy and time to double guess ourselves and go into our head, than to stop and listen to the wisdom and love, that is readily available for all, in our body.
Very true Gyl, the game of self- doubt and criticism is very debilitating and exhausting, whereas when we simply connect to our body’s and their innate wisdom life becomes simpler.
So true Gyl. Doubt is incredibly exhausting and so clearly a self made construct. When I am stuck in doubt it is so hard to see this truth but once the truth is revealed I am able to feel the doubt was a lie I told myself.
100% agree.
Me too. I just came out if an experience of doubt. When I tracked it down, it was my own inaction. I went into an old pattern of paralysis, the shocked rabbit in the headlights. I am learning to break that pattern by finding and expressing words for what I feel in my body right in that moment,
Wow, I seem to be forever saying this – however it is the truth that each day I hear what I need to hear – and your blog Simone is another such truth. It confirms what so many are feeling and that is that self-doubt is such a waste of time and of our human resources. It all feels so simple when ‘all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice’.
Susan Lee I agree, ” self-doubt is such a waste of time and of our human resources” and I can confirm this. There are times recently where I have been in and out my head debating over a choice or situation, trying to work it out, ( let’s be honest self indulging) then stop to realise that the time, energy and space could have been spent on something much more productive, less harming and exhausting for everyone.
Gyl, that is so true. all that mental energy, and worrying is soo exhausting, and is in fact just another distraction to keep ourselves away from being present and connected in that moment. So yet another form of self-sabotage and delay…how many ways… let me count the ways…..
The little voice speaking to me inside my own head is a familiar one. The problem with it is often times it is pretty convincing. Yet, it is not us and does not belong any near to what we can call truth. When we do in spite of it and are willing and able to not listen to it, we give ourselves a true opportunity to expand.
So true Eduardo, it is not an easy choice and is not a single choice either, the pattern of letting our thoughts rule us taken time to arrest and reset.
The word that you use which is so important, Eduardo, is being ‘willing’ to not listen to that voice which is not speaking truth. To recognise that voice as being not our truth is one thing, but to take that step to saying, ‘I will not listen to that untruth, even though it is coming from me’ is another very powerful step.
yes Eduardo, the voice is so familiar and convincing it is easy to think of it as a part of us, but that is giving it a power it doesn’t deserve. as you say ‘ it is not us and does not belong any near to what we can call truth; Giving it energy, allowing that voice to run, or even arguing or fighting with it, allows it to thrive and grow seemingly powerful, but it makes us ever more lost in the morass. If instead we stop, come back and reconnect with ourselves, that robs the voice of its seeming power, and we regain the space, and awareness for understanding what is true. That is true power.
I agree Eduardo; that little, very familiar voice is at times very convincing and can take me off somewhere I definitely don’t need to go, especially into doubt. But these days I’m noticing it a whole lot sooner and as soon as I do I stop, and make the choice to re-connect to me, and from there check in with my inner voice; my voice of truth. It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting easier every day.
Thank you, you have reminded me to fully appreciate all that I am and celebrate my life this morning, and with no doubt. And no doubt you are doing it for countless others. Brillliant Simone Lewis.
Yes Elaine, it just happened to me so I can vouch that it is happening for others. I just melted a bit when I was reading this and went into appreciation for me and my life.
After years of trying to get it right its wonderful to appreciate that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ , but there are some beautiful lessons that help us to evolve.
Second-guessing ourselves/doubting ourselves feels like a tricky way we have of not getting on with things. I know for myself I can waste a lot of time in doubting rather than just doing what is there to be done. It is indeed exhausting and debilitating and a complete waste of time.
Great point Elizabeth! Doubt is just a disguise of irresponsibility. Ouch!
Totally Sandra and Elizabeth. Doubt is used to avoid responsibility and to delay, and the stance that it creates – the ‘serious considering’ doubter, or the ‘humble’ self-doubter – are simply mask to hide the glory and power that we are.
In deed there are many ways to avoid our responsibility and doubt is just one of them. We are asked to be honest here and stop our self-deception. Every truth has its counterpart and we are not able to serve two masters here.
Yeah, how about those tsunamis of doubt that leave us wondering ‘what the hell’. I had a exposing moment recently and am still reeling form it, it’s crazy how I felt. So important to see it all as learning with no right or wrong.
“each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing” – in some way becoming overwhelmed is the easy thing to do, but to lovingly and consistently taking responsibility for each choice is the only way through
Agreed Joel, overwhelm had been my choice for a long time. Nothing changed and nothing was achieved, it just made me feel worse and worse. Consistently taking responsibility, knowing we are all equal, so we all can do it, without perfection, is the only way.
Absolutely agree Brendan, something has to fill the space that is left when we hold back – and it is usually something that encourages us to hold back even more.
When we focus on what we have done wrong, we get stuck in it – we don’t see ourselves as enough or worthy and everyone else misses out on all that we do bring. As you share, appreciation is the key, as well as being willing to take responsibility for and learn from our mistakes. We are first and foremost divine and that doesn’t change even when me make dodgy choices or doubt ourselves.
Yea agree Brendan. Not being completely solid and claimed in what we know and who we are leads to so much doubt as there’s room for it. If one is solid there is no room for doubt to creep in.
“but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.” – without judgement is the key. Just realising why you did things brings about so much understanding and change for next time.
It makes so much sense for me to read that bashing ourselves with self doubt comes from not being present when taking a decision or making choices. When we are really committed to life, in touch with ourselves, connected to our breath everything flows and self-doubt cannot intrude in our life.
Doubt creeps In when we do not appreciate who we are, then there is space for doubt to creep in. When we appreciate who we are and that all we experience is through our own choices, there really is no room for doubt. Just space, for deep appreciation of the self.
Thank you Simone for sharing your experience, I can so relate to what you have shared, I too have beaten myself up, gone into the good bad and second guessing, this, in the past used to go on for days. I am slowly building trust, trust in me that I know, and that mistake or not, I am OK, and at that moment I am offered something here to learn.
Well said Jill Steiner, mistake or not, we are ok, this is just an opportunity to learn, and an opportunity to choose to love ourselves for who we are, not what we do or don’t do.
Self doubt is absolutely debilitating and truth is actually love so it makes no sense to call in doubt as a protection against it. It is wonderful to read about how you have broken this vicious cycle Simone.
Yes, Simone, there is no such thing as perfection but just a loving acceptance of all that we are at any given time. Doubt always gets in the way of the loving acceptance of ourselves!
Great point, Brendan, that doubt can enter through the passivity of inaction – it is not always obvious and ‘in your face,’ – it can be sneaky, too.
I do love the main point of your blog, Simone, that even the tiniest of doubts can be a huge doorway for other energies to enter our thought processes and take us for a very looooong ride, until such time that we stop and re connect with ourselves.It’s incredible how so little can set off what you have referred to here as a tsunami.
Ah, Simone – the voice of reason and it’s interminable stories – I was laughing because I know this voice oh so well. As I’m laughing about it, I guess I’m just about done with it 🙂
Thank you Simone for your sharing. Doubt is something that stops us from moving forward in our lives and evolution.. To be stoped in our tracks!
More and more I am loving myself by checking-in and bringing myself back if I am out – free from criticism, judgement or comparison. I loved the simplicity with which you have written this blog Simone, I could relate to all that was said. I especially loved the comment – ‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am’. Thank you.
Love that: “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” – and gosh, learning out of my choices/reflections is so great! Every step, a step nearer to the real and true me again.
I like your outlook on life, no doubt just each situation that presents is an opportunity for learning.
Gosh, what a great outlook on life ! No beating yourself up just a tonne of understanding.
Self doubt was something I always identified with. When I realised it was a choice, everything changed. It still has a pretty clear pathway in after a lifetime of choosing it, but the doorway in is more and more often shut.
Beautifully said nikkimckee, I feel that too, so we are evolving, learning to love and accept ourselves first, and then looking at where we can deepen from that. It does take time to change the ingrained ways of reacting to ourselves, but with the support of Universal Medicine, and each other, we are able to clearly see the grandness we are, without identifying ourselves with the little pockets we may see as ‘wrong’. And we are so needed to live this, to move beyond the self doubt; it is in epidemic proportions in our young women at this time. If we take our clues from the outside – media, advertising, many industries which make good money from this doubt – to who and what and how we are supposed to be, we are lost. Once we are reminded to turn inside, listen to our inner heart and feel the connection to our true selves and with that to each other – everything changes. This is what the world needs.
I have also suffered from the plague of self doubt. I know now with the support of Universal Medicine that self doubt and even self judgement or self criticism are actually choices I am making to avoid taking responsibility for something in front of me. To see them in this way is a game changer and actually very self-empowering.
Doubt, judgement and criticism, major factors that keep us away from acceptance and appreciation and love of ourselves, and each other. Crazy that we choose those over love time and time again. What is it about responsibility we are so afraid of?
Is it that when we do begin to take responsibility knowing that every choice we make has a consequence, the past choices we have made become very transparent, and we get to see clearly those that were cringe-worthy and those that supported us and all around us. Responsibility is beautiful, it confirms the fact that choice has always been there we just weren’t aware we had it, or weren’t choosing it a lot of the time. Once choice and responsibility are known they cannot be unknown. Though we can choose to pretend to not know = not taking responsibility.
Thanks for sharing that Andrew. We can shonk on self responsibility when we go into something that isn’t straight from who we are- and doubt isn’t apart of who we are.
so true andrewmooney26, I agree. The power and joy that can be felt in honouring and taking responsibility for your choices and not someone else’s opinion is huge.
I agree andrewmooney26, I have learnt the same with the support of Universal Medicine; self doubt and self judgement or self criticism are choices I’m making to avoid taking responsibility for what’s in front of me. Taking responsibility and being able to say “I was wrong”, is so super helpful. Nobody will get it right every time, all of the time. We can only go with what we feel is true for us at any given time. The truth is, we are not perfect, but we are totally amazing and loveable.
If I give in to doubt, it will always be there as a stumbling block for me. If I hold back on how I am feeling, I will never know how what I have to share may have allowed a healing for others and me. What am I afraid of? Hurting other people’s feelings? If I allow myself to share with love, even if what I say has a reaction, it still presents an opportunity for healing. If what I say is not coming from a place of love, I have the opportunity to feel what is going on for me, again, an opportunity to learn and chose differently – a great healing. Either way, it’s a win win …. there is no healing giving in to doubt. It is disempowering and in no way a reflection of who we are …. honesty, acceptance and appreciation is awesome medicine.
I have noticed that I sometimes hold back on what I feel to say in the moment, because I start to consider how others may react …. as soon as this question pops into my head, I immediately start doubting if I should share my feelings, and then the doubt wins every time. I hold back to reconsider, but I’ve already chosen not to express in full ….. so everyone loses, especially me.
The moment that we start to consider something in our head, we have stepped out of the moment, and away from a present connection to ourselves. We all do it, we even are told to “think before you speak”, but as a result we end up in the confused muddle that you describe, Alison.
The step we need to take is to reconnect to our body and speak from there in trust of the truth we feel. Another’s reaction are theirs and not ours.
Doubt is a horrible creation running through the mind – a force that continually needs feeding to keep it alive. We get hooked into it and believe it to be who we are. A vicious and self-perpetuating cycle until we realise we can make different choices and bring the focus to the Diving Essence within through re-connecting with awareness and presence in the body.
Thank God for Serge Benhayon who has brought inspiration to many, myself included to know there is another way.
‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’
You completely nail it here, Simone …. the more we appreciate our selves, the more we’re building our foundation of love and the less room we leave for anything that isn’t who we are, such as doubt, to creep in.
This is a great learning for without perfection we will always trip and stumble, the real gold is learning to get straight back up and go again, for the self judgment and excuses only serve to delay the eventuality of where we are headed.
Yes lucindag, I am getting better at getting straight back up again…anything else is just there to delay the beauty and absolute truth we are heading towards.
Our mistakes are like signposts towards truth. Without them how would we ever know which way to go? In the end it is not our mistakes that are the real problem, it is how hard we are on ourselves for making mistakes. It is the judgement that we heap upon ourselves for them. But even that is just a mistake which can point us in the direction of deeper love for ourselves. Thank you for this awesome blog, Simone.
Absolutely Naren. Everything including our mistakes are signposts back to love. Everything we need to know can be felt, ‘is it love’ or ‘is it not?’ And when we feel our true value and appreciate that it makes it so much easier just to observe and choose rather than judging ourselves in any way!
Naren what a killer line ‘Our mistakes are like signposts towards truth. Without them how would we ever know which way to go?’ That needs to be on every fridge magnet in the country, I love it! It also caused me to ponder on the true meaning of the word ‘mistake’. Perhaps we could have a new definition for the word ‘mistake’. Mistake, something that assists a person to move closer to the truth.
I love your redefinition of Mistake, Alexis! Much more appropriate.
Beautifully said Naren, mistakes are not the real problem, it is how hard we are on ourselves for making mistakes. A good friend of mine wrote a book for children: ‘Whoops’ is my favourite word, by Tanya Curtis. It’s exactly about this, so the book is for children aged 2 to 150 years old!
Doubt is that the little thing that sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear? Wrong choices are an opportunity to learn. The more we learn the less we hear the whispers in our ear.
Super true sjmatsonuk. As then we take it as a learning and are more humble as we realise we are not perfect but rather all in this learning together.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I love this quote Simone. Complete responsibility and no beating up on yourself, just learning and celebrating.
Agree Lee Poole this quote is super powerful and shows what true responsibility is.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” Beautiful, and so true ….. it appears to me that the only way we can learn and grow is to feel the effects of our choices: some may be confirming and validating; others may present an opportunity to see something we have never considered before, to look more deeply and enjoy an ‘ah ha’ moment. To me, there is no right or wrong in the choices we make, they are all part of our journey and each choice brings with it something for us to learn.
I love the feeling of being in no doubt. It is clarity, power and expansiveness which rings out of every cell of the body. It is confirmation on a cellular level. It is our natural state of being. It is absoluteness. It is wholeness and it is complete.
Beautiful Alexis. There is absolute clarity when we remove doubt.
When we are fully ourselves there is no room for doubt.
Love this Nikki: ‘When we are fully ourselves there is no room for doubt’. Spot on.
Awesome Alexis. “It is our natural state of being. ” so true- we let so many things override our natural state of being.
We make choices all the time. Some are great and some not so. When we make mistakes and then dwell on them and then beat ourselves up about them, precious time is wasted that we could have used coming back to the connection we have with ourself and making more loving choices. Sure, feel the not so great choice, but then realise how amazing you are and get back to that. It’s a better place to make the next great choice from.
Oh yes, I think you’ve hit a sore spot for many people here Simone. Thank you for dissecting it so we can feel the layers with you and understand the side effects of letting doubt get the better of us. I love how you say that there is no right or wrong, only a learning. When we approach life like this, without perfection and being open to the lessons available, then there is no room to be hard on ourselves or to think we could have made a better choice, just more tenderness to know we are walking our path back to who we are.
Yes Rachael, being more understanding with ourselves opens up the door to our self-love and as you say – back to who we are. Well said.
This story shows clearly that when we start to doubt and give our self a hard time it is been precipitated by us abandoning our connection with ourself. And I love the way you have found to reconnect yourself “Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.” This really works so well and a great reminder that the kingdom of God always resides within us.
Love this blog Simone, I know I have gone into doubt and, I also have gone into the reason why things didn’t go the way it should, not being present etc, making myself feel worse.Self appreciation is a great tool, we after all are amazing beings, and I know where my integrity is, and the love that I hold in my heart, and at times I slip and that’s OK, its all part of learning.
I love that self-appreciation comes from my body. I can focus on my thoughts, the doubt and criticism that come with doubt or I can check in with my body and discover I am still solid and steady, despite the fact that I have just separated from that and let doubt in.
Fiona this is a pearly drop of wisdom for less mental appreciation- checking in with the body to feel we are ‘still solid and steady’. This makes it even more significant to make choices that support the body to be steady such as not running late and rushing or tense even when trying not to be hasty or choosing foods that don’t speed up the physiology so that there is something solid and steady to check-in to. How beautiful to discover self-appreciation through the body rather than battling the doubt and criticism that can come when trying to appreciate from the mind.
Simone, your post is pretty much perfect for me to read and re-read for days to come as a reminder that doubting myself or beating myself up about my choices is a pointless and not to mention harmful exercise.
Me too Elodie, isn’t it bizarre that we can engage in behaviours and patterns of thought again and again, even though every time we experience just how harmful they are?
Can relate to this and it’s really honest
Sometimes I may doubt myself in expressing something rather than doing it with confidence and self-assurance. The doubt may enter my mind and then I may feel self-conscious about expressing and any potential reactions. As I build trust in the knowing of what I feel, I can back myself more and not go into the doubt.
Doubt, the killer of our potential and of our natural gorgeousness. How awesome it is to know we have the choice to notice these thoughts when they come in and the choice again to not buy into them.
It always comes back does it not Jeanette, to another moment where we can choose from what is felt to be true rather enter into the mind’s complexity.
I love the lightness and playfulness of what you have expressed here Jeanette. It is the antidote of doubt!
I love how you bring it back to the appreciation of each others strengths and weaknesses and working together in brotherhood for the benefit of humanity.
I haven’t read all the comments yet and I will go back and do that, but I wanted to appreciate this comment “we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.” it is a gem.
Yes Lucy. That is a super gem. Awesome to read it.
I agree Lucy, particularly at this moment in time when there are so many atrocities going on all over the world, so much so that many, most even, don’t even get any airtime. We can all make a difference by recognising and appreciating that “we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.” This is what humanity needs, what it is crying out for and it can start with us, if we so choose.
LOVE that comment Lucy, yes, if we can learn to appreciate ourselves, and apply this appreciation to others, work is easy with collaborative flow and joy. Brotherhood is this.
We all know working together in brotherhood and the joy that comes from this to the core. That is what seems to make workplaces so uncomfortable at times – knowing this truth and feeling everything that is not this. Giving ourselves permission to work in brotherhood and joy regardless of what is going on around us is essential. And as you say Zofia, truly appreciating ourselves and others is key.
And to add to what you have written Susan I am slowly coming to accept there is no such thing as perfection. I have been a bit stubborn with learning this one, which has only held me back from deepening my connection to myself.
Simone I feel I am just at the beginning of my learning of who I really am and what Love really means. What you have written is one of the greatest teachings for someone who is just embarking on their return to self. If I had read this years ago and taken on board its wisdom, I would have saved myself years of agonising self berating and anguish. So beautifully written. Thank you.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”- so true, and how liberating is it when we view life as a journey to learn from with every choice, instead of going into self judgement and self loathing which disconnects us more from who we truly are- love.
Not judging things as right or wrong, but feeling and observing so we can learn and grow is so freeing.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I like how this has been expressed. Our responsibility is to allow our awareness of our day to day choices and learning from these choices.
Absolutely. I have recently discovered the truth in deeply allowing myself to feel and be present with my body for it holds all my choices. Feeling and being honest is key.
Indeed to feel the energy behind our choices and then we have the awareness and learning what we might choose to next time.
This is a great tool.. “Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. It helps if I am in front of the mirror because I can actually take a moment to look at myself and appreciate the sparkle in my eyes and see the beauty that I am feeling.” I feel this to be part of my daily routine..as it is life-changing. Who really appreciates how amazingly beautiful they truly are everyday?! I can name a few, and now it’s time to join their ranks.
Thank you Simone for making me realize that I am not alone in this because sometimes it feels like I am. I also realize that giving in to feelings of doubt and failure takes me away from appreciating just how far I have come. This is a great reminder. ‘I may do and say things that feel yucky sometimes, but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.’
This is one of the traps of doubt, that it isolates you and leaves you caught up in your own self-made torture. I am starting to realise that feeling ‘I am the only one having this problem’ (which I often hear in groups discussing problems common to us all), should be a clear warning that we are off track, to stop and start afresh. As soon as we step away from what we feel and know to be true, doubt can slide in to fill its place.
Doubt is an excuse not to take responsibility for myself, if i doubt then i can waste my time in that rather than making decisions, or appreciating myself, or accepting yep i made the wrong choice and so forth and so forth. i have known doubt all to well, a nemesis in my life…but it has lost its hold…as i choose to take responsibility for me, for what i do know, and wiling to trust me! Thank you Simone, important subject as doubt is very debilitating and it can ruin our lives.
Knowing there is no truth in doubt, is the way out of it.
Truth is both the bottom and the top – when I dive deeply into an issue I find truth at the bottom of it and when I reach up to find the way forward, there also is truth. It is indeed the way out of anything that that holds us back. Living more consistently from this place is my path.
I love what you have written here kehinde2012. True and so powerful expressed.
As soon as doubt comes in you know its not you. Doubt is never true.
Well said Karoline. It is a cop out and avoiding responsibility. If we doubt ourselves, we can then avoid responsibility.
Agree Nikki (and others), we avoid responsibility – to be who we truly are. Doubt has a dulling and uninspiring or matte effect on what is otherwise absolute. Clear Truth.
This is good Karoline, it is easy to bumble about wasting time not taking responsibility, have known it very well myself. It is so debilitating. Seeing doubt for what it is, an imposter trying to trick us into believing it is who we are is a major step toward breaking its lying hold.
Well said Karoline there is a great learning in what you share.
Well said Karoline.
Totally agree Karoline, well said!
I have noticed this too Karoline. Doubting and running around in my head with all the possibilities is a great way to avoid doing what I have already felt is needed. Its like doubt places a cloud over my normal clarity, making me lose sight of what I do know and trust within me.
Well said Karoline Schleiffelder, this is a great point you make in exposing the truth behind the ‘doubt game’ we play….
I agree doubt is an absolute killer once it is allowed to take hold. But there is a way to deal with it as you say Simone and it has a lot to do with appreciating ourselves and each other and being humble enough to know life will never be perfect, but that it can be a wondrous experience of endless learning, greater awareness and deeper understanding of each other.
Well said Dean. Doubt is a killer of any love, flow or joy in life. It makes us shrink and immobilises us in the fear of getting it wrong. The more we can stand back and see doubt as an unwelcome guest, the easier it is to stop doubt in its tracks before we head down a slippery slope of self-criticism.
So eloquently said Fiona.
Life sounds so amazing when you put it like that Dean.
So true Emily and Dean, life then is one curious moment to moment to be explored and fully experienced.
And we are actually living that life. My close encounter with Serge Benhayon has been a great blessing.
Beautifully said Dean, life and us, nothing and nobody will ever be perfect. But coming back to the love we are and the love we share, appreciating ourselves and each other, we grow and evolve from every choice, ‘wrong’ or ‘right’.
Yes exactly Esther. I love what you share and the way you share it.
Yes Mary as you say skin colour, nationality and religion are HUGE factors in keeping us separate from each other and in some cases we actually kill each other over it.
Do you ever sit back and take a long hard but detached look at the situation and think, wow we actually kill each other on the basis of differing beliefs and yet we are all the same species…
Are you sure about that? … just kidding! You are quite right though, ultimately our doubts are something we choose to create or allow to happen by not taking care of ourselves in every way possible including the kind of thoughts we accept as the truth and those that we disallow.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” I loved reading this Simone. In this there can be no doubt.
Yep, agree Suzanne. This is exactly what I can feel I am ready to learn for myself. Accept the learning as opposed to reacting to the outcome of the choices made. It is completely and utterly exhausting practicing the latter on a daily basis.
Elodie, I agree, reacting is exhausting. It is still a challenge for me to not react, but I can capture it more easily now and instead of reacting learn to understand the situation and learn to be patient.
What I picked up on here is the “story”. From my own experience it is so distracting and debilitating to go into the story of life instead of being consciously present in the moment. It doesn’t matter what the flavour is, drama, good news stories, self recrimination, blame etc…all of this ‘day dreams’ of our own stories that play out in our heads lead us away from our true wisdom. Being consciously present allows for clarity and so no room for doubt.
Beautiful article on the power of presence. Thank you Simone.
How wonderfully refreshing to transform life from debilitating self-doubt to a ‘celebration of loving choices’ made. Awesome.
I feel exhausted just thinking about doubt! It can seem such a reasonable thing at times but it feels awful to second guess and question ourselves about everything. I have experienced that ‘tsunami’ many times in my life…too many times. I agree with you about appreciation Simone. This is a much more self-loving choice to make.
Doubt does support the unsureness. But in truth we know. So to be in doubt is a reflection of our disconnection. If reflected so, the next step is…to connect. Not until connected we can truly deal with what brought us to the disconnection and doubt as a result/effect of that. Sometimes it is even not necessary to analyze but just to connect again and to go on from here.
I have made lots of seemingly ‘wrong’ choices. They are signposts to show me what needs healing. Sometimes it takes me a bit longer to see the signpost! I have also made lots of true choices. Coming back to a medicine that is universal is one of them. The mistakes I have made can be fuel for doubt, but the part that confirms my divinity is so much bigger. It is bigger than this life and all lives put together, because it is my relationship with my light and God.
Once self doubt is in, the beating up of oneself is just like another tsunami, just bigger and completely self induced.
How to deal with the doubt or self-flagellation? A friend of mine said simply ‘truth is more important’ or ‘love is more important’.
The first answer for me is to come back to my body and my inner heart. Simply feeling these two makes it hard for my mind to come up or continue with this long list of self-doubting or worse thoughts.
The second one is more subtle: It is a deep knowing that I am love and that I am Divine. I make mistakes but they don’t affect who I am – if I make a mistake I don’t stop being love and I don’t stop being Divine. I simply made a mistake and can deal with it.
Going into doubt constantly can be exhausting on the body. What combats doubt is absoluteness, is what I am learning.
Your tsunami in the mind brought up the image of people brain storming or is that lost at sea in the storm we created? If we ponder and trap ourselves on making mistakes we are trapping ourselves in the storm and continuously go around and around or we can accept and learn from it and we can sit in the eye of the storm and observe the chaos around us.
Great blog Simone. I have wasted so much energy and time indulging in doubt. Your words really resonate with me “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning”. There is no perfection, just learning.
I am aware that doubt creeps in when I am not consciously present, as soon as I reconnect to my body the doubt disappears the deep knowing of connection is back. Connecting back to the body clears any form of doubt.
This is powerful Amita and so simple that it should be one of our foundational principles growing up. The choice we have to be connected to ourselves and our body.
Yes Amita – I have the same experience. Whenever I feel doubt is getting the better of me, I know I am not present in my body and that the mind is running the show.
By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate. These are very wise words. Simone, thank you.
There are two things that stand out for me here – not giving ourselves a hard time because it is very exhausting and draining when we do and the fact that we are all in this together and that one person’s strength is another’s weakness and that we are here to support each other.
Yes, agreed Gabriele. I have held a gold pass membership to the self doubt/beating myself up for mistakes club for many years. It still sneaks in but I am getting better at catching it before it gets too much of a grip on me. I also find it helps to remind myself when I am trying to control situations that I have only a part, or even no part, to play in a situation and that it’s important that I leave space for others to get on with what they are meant to do. Things definitely work much better for everyone when I know when to get myself out of the way.
Great round up Gabriele – we ARE all in this together, so judgement of another’s choices or weakness is confirming a sense of separation and diminishes a willingness to learn from each other. And just as crushing is that of comparing ourselves to another’s strengths, I feel this is where doubt comes in for me, rather than appreciating what that person brings and taking that as an opportunity to confirm a strength I bring also.
Doubt can only have power when coupled with its partner in crime – judgement.
I love this Simone. It is so true. I had an experience today where someone gave me some constructive criticism. In the past I would have gone into a reaction about what I did wrong and how stupid I was etc. but today I just thought ‘oh, that’s helpful to know’. What I had done was take self and ideal of perfection out of the equation – no judgement, just curiosity. In choosing to respond this way I felt light and was able to freely get on with my work in the right energy. It amazes me how much time we waste on judgement, it’s such a delay and completely unnecessary.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” Awesome Simone, nothing to doubt if there is no right or wrong – learning more about ourselves as we take our connection ever deeper in our own time. Thank you for sharing.
Doubt vs “There is just more to celebrate”. I choose celebrate.
Me Too! Much more fun, light, freeing and supportive 🙂
My daughter now has a default saying, ‘Whoops’, and then she says ‘it’s one of my favourite words’. This is in response to making a mistake, which she knows is never really a wrongdoing because as we are all in it together, life that is, anything and everything we do is for each other, to support each other in learning. My daughter got this phrase from a kids book from Sunlight Inc Publishing and it is just as relatable for adults as it is for kids. You can find it here: http://www.sunlightink.com/store/p10/WHOOPS%21_…_IS_ONE_OF_MY_FAVOURITE_WORDS.html
There can be no doubting ourselves if we know that everything we do can be a learning for somebody else.
Agreed. How much good is there to see everyday, yet how much do we allow ourselves to see and celebrate, instead moping around in doubt? If it wasn’t so painful it would almost be comical.
Thankyou Simone, I agree, being hard on the self and doubting really compounds the choice and it takes a lot longer to simply return to loving choices again. There can be a panic and drama about the mistake, instead of a simple breath, observation, and even light hearted chuckle. Today I have been aware of how much I have judged myself in life instead of appreciating myself and accepting that I am simply learning. Thankyou for this timely blog.
I love this truth Simone ‘Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’ And reading all the assorted added truths through all the comments to this one blog is a complete confirmation of what you share here. Simply beautiful how with us all adding our part we work in our Divine design.
Observing our choices and being aware of their consequences is a wise thing to do. Judgment just gets in the way and slows down change, it doesn’t help and isn’t needed.
True Fiona, and to let doubt in, can slow things down enormously. Who hasn’t spent time prevaricating because we don’t trust ourselves to make a choice – throwing us into that tsunami of doubt! It’s not helpful or needed. That’s a great way to come to our senses “remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath” and re-member what’s needed.
Awesome Simone, I love how you are now appreciating your beauty and who you are. We are definitely not perfect and the best thing is when we make mistakes or feel we’ve made the wrong choice, is to be completely honest about it and not to beat ourselves up but like you’ve shared to lovingly take it as a learning.
I doubt anyone would understand what I am about to share, kidding, kidding – but seriously, I have used doubt and use doubt constantly, its been my card I play, my excuse, my way out of responsibility, my comfort, my enemy, my imaginary friend that has stuck by me for a very long time, I have even tricked myself into thinking that it is real.
Doubt is the perfect reason for me to not be all that I know I am.
When I choose doubt I get tangled in “right” and “wrong”: I am afraid of getting something wrong and thus I doubt myself from that fear or I am attached to getting something right and that leads to more doubting.
Living without doubt and just doing stuff and putting myself out there, free of indecision and fear, would be amazing, but one of the main reasons I avoid it is because the concept of living like that makes me feel very vulnerable and if I am honest that kind of vulnerability scares the bejesus out of me.Thank you Simone for your article, it has brought up a lot for me.
A fantastic blog Simone, and one that I can relate to – in the past doubt was often taking the front seat. Now I know where there is love and truth, doubt has no where to go.
Every choice is a new learning and that is something truly worth celebrating. Thank you Simone.
Yes how true and I love this ..”I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” It is such a loving way to respond to our not so great moments in life.
We need to be taught from very young that there is no ‘good or bad’, ‘right or wrong’…that all our experiences are a learning and every moment is an opportunity to make another choice.
I agree Paula, it is more importantly about whether we are with ourselves or not; whether we are being ourselves or trying to be something else.
Which would be the opposite of what we do as we tell children what is good or bad. I am often struck by how important children feel it is to be ‘good’ rather than just themselves.
Paula, this is very true – the world would be a very different place if we all knew that whatever situation we are in, it is always just another opportunity to learn and grow, and never about right or wrong.
This is just too cool – I was sure you were going to end the blog with the fact that without that doubt there is so much more energy, more space, more simplicity but you chose “There is just more to celebrate”! I love that you picked that action above any others, as when we celebrate ourselves we cannot help but beam the light we naturally have within, out into the world.
Ahh Simone, I too am super familiar with exhausting self doubt tsunamis! As you have so beautifully pointed out in your blog, trying to think your way out of doubt simply does not work – in fact only adds to it. When I find myself on that crazy wave, the most supportive thing I can do is simply to reconnect, to accept the choices I have made and give myself one massive dose of appreciation!
Self-doubt is one of the greatest evils on this world. It diminishes, reduces and destroys our innate knowingness of ourselves.
I so strongly agree Lucy. We can totally annihilate any connection to ourselves by allowing self-doubt to even be a part-time player in our lives. I feel it’s best to go with what you feel is true at the time, as time and space will reveal if it was true or not. Even if it was not true we learn a great deal, such as what a true feeling feels like compared to one that is there to throw us.
I agree Lucy, that reduction of who we are becomes far more familiar than trust and confidence. It is so important to develop an understanding in our young that making mistakes is ok…an intricate part of learning.
Very true Lucy – self-doubt destroys our true selves. Most people live with this all their lives without even knowing there could be another way. It has become a norm in peoples lives.
“Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am”.
This simple, yet very powerful, sentence is such an inspiration Simone.
It is such a joy (and reflection) to feel you truly appreciating and confirming your gorgeous, beautiful divine self.
Allowing doubt to enter us is debilitating. When you chose to stop, breath and remember your innate beauty, it sealed the door where the doubt comes in. It is great to ponder and consider our choices, but to doubt ourselves is not honouring the true wisdom we all hold within and have access to when we connect to ourselves.
I see doubt as downplaying and complicating how we can naturally and simply make choices and decisions. For me, bringing in doubt feels completely awful and like putting on the brakes… and it can also be used as a distraction. This also comes in when I’m focusing on right and wrong.
Dear Simone this is such an important blog I struggled a lot with self-doubt and it still happens now I know it is not love and a dear friend stopped me once in a conversation three times she mentioned: is this a loving thought or statement and it was a no three times this was truly inspiring so when I am aware and doubt or self-loathing starts because of lack of presence..lack of surrender…holding back…making me small….exposed the game whatever I stop and ask myself the same question…focus on the body…a movement, and say, now feel the love 🙂
Simone what a great blog, you have exposed a lot. What came to mind for me was how going into the mind to work anything out is a trap. All that happens is that we enter a labyrinth that has no exit. Around and around we go, seemingly looking for a clear understanding but never realising that clarity comes from the body not from the head. The head should have a warning sign posted at it’s entrance saying ‘enter at your own risk!’.
Doubt about our divinity can only occur when we give ourselves over to hope,faith and belief. Hope, faith, and belief will always be eroded by doubt, for they have no true foundations of their own.Live life according to an ideal, no matter how esoteric or true, and you will always be subject to the forces of doubt. But the knowingness that comes from a truth that is lived can never be corrupted by such mechanisms. And the only way to live a truth is to energetically discern that truth for yourself before claiming that it is so. Then it becomes your truth, and its foundation is such that it can never be shaken by the whimsical thoughts of a doubting mind.
What a great sharing Simone – thank you. A great key you offer is to “feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.” This is where true evolution, learning and understanding flows from. Anything else compounds and opens up for more of the doubt, so we don’t learn but go round and round.
“…when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.” This is a great realisation as it means there can never be a ‘wrong’ choice.
Absolutely simply an opportunity to learn.
Beautiful blog Simone. I love the honesty and ability to look at your own stuff. We all make “mistakes”, for me it is about how we respond to these mistakes that is key. I have often grown more from my so called mistakes than my successes.
Absolutely Lee – life is about learning to accept and appreciate ourselves with all our imperfections.
Doubt is a game that I play to crush myself. It may sound a but harsh but I see it as something outside of myself that guarantees that I don’t move forward, it stumps me or stuns me forcing me to have to stop and come back and spend time reconnecting with my body to feel what is true. I notice doubt is most likely to creep in when I am making big choices, choices that will evolve my and other substantially. If I allow the doubting thoughts (or energy) it stops the flow or the rhythm that has lead to the opportunity to make the choice, sometimes complicating it so much that the opportunity is then missed. More and more I am beginning to recognise this, so the moment I feel doubt I call it out right away and say no way, I’m not choosing to go into that this time and I know it’s just an energy and wave of thoughts that will cause complication in my current situation. Then any inkling of thought that tries to enter my mind I say no no no that’s not it. With a deeper connection with myself I can now often use the doubt as a confirmation that I’m on the right path, and that is why this energy is trying to flood my thoughts to put me off. I also take responsibility to see that it is me who has been calling this energy in to purposely hold back, that I have been doing it for a long long time and I do it in the most subtle ways such as choosing what to wear, choosing what to eat or even choosing what to do in any moment.
It is easy for us when we experience doubt to focus on what we are doing wrong and give ourselves a hard time but as you have shared Simone, bringing appreciation and confirming ourselves constantly is the antidote to letting doubt in as we get to accept and know who we truly are. Thank for a great blog.
And what a marvellous antidote these things are. They work when applied to others and as well, so its a win for everybody!
I have wrestled with doubt all my life and can relate to the exhaustion that this brings. What I have come to learn through the Ageless Wisdom Teachings is that when we are doubting we are resisting being all that we are, we are resisting Love. We already are Love and when we choose to leave this Love we are within, we instead engage in all that is not Love, all that is outside of ourselves. With this we quickly diminish all that we know we are through questioning and doubting the magnificence of our glorious Divinity within and we are left feeling dis-empowered and exhausted. As we return to our Love within we return to knowing that we are in fact Divine. So as you say Simone when we are present with our Divine grandness there is no room for doubt to exist as the power of our Love is immovable.
I too have wrestled with doubt Carola, and built a mental edifice that would protect me from all sides. I will have considered everything possible and be covered on all sides in case of attack. Ha ha! If only I had realised that I was building my own prison. Now doubt is a stranger that knocks on my door, but does not find a resting place in my beautiful home.
I keep coming back to Joshua’s comments above “Doubt is actually an indulgence” and it confirms what you have both written. We indulge and it creates a prison to hold ourselves small and trapped in not being able to simply share how we feel – what we agree or disagree with. Discard that indulgence I say – toute suite!!!!
“Moreover, one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths, so together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity”
Sharing our unfolding experience with others is key, together we have all the answers.
I agree Tim and beautifully said – ‘together we have all the answers.’ What Simone presents here reveals the true power of Brotherhood. Thank you for highlighting this powerful point.
Yes I agree, working together is the way forward and helps us remove the individuality which feeds the doubt in the first place.
This is a great comment 1timrobinson. We are not in truth ever alone, despite it feeling that way at times. We really are all connected and like one big puzzle.
This is a great awareness tim, simply sharing our experiences and feelings with others brings a perspective that can wipe doubt away and letting people in is the key ingredient.
In presence there is absoluteness and no room for doubt.
Gorgeous Donna – our Love within does indeed reign supreme.
Donna, I was about to write exact same thing, goes to show that we access from the same source. I am at Universal Medicine Healing Level 5 in UK even though you are not here in body you are very connected to what is being presented.
This is true Donna, and in that absoluteness I find myself moving onwards and not looking back even for a glance. It just keeps flowing.
Hi Donna, loved your comment as it is spot on and worth repeating “In presence there is absoluteness and no room for doubt.”
I am finding the self doubt is something I choose to pull myself away from my absoluteness.
Donna I love what you have expressed here. I absolutely agree with what you have shared. There is only room for doubt when we are not completely present with ourselves.
I love what you share Simone about not being present and therefore allowing doubt to enter If we’re steady and solid in our bodies, from my experience, doubt just can’t get in. The moment I leave my body and go into my head, that’s when doubt can come in in its many crippling ways.
This is so true Katerina, you are spot on. So, the key is to stay present with our body, appreciate and trust ourselves.
It is utterly crazy, that the very thing we do to escape the doubt/negative thoughts, such as comfort eating, TV, computers, exercising, is what feeds the doubt because it keeps us locked out of our bodies.
Self doubt is pernicious, overwhelming if we let it take hold, and totally changes our outlook on life. So as part of the grand illusion it has no hold on us when we truly appreciate, accept and celebrate how utterly divine we are and that that Love is always there.
What a great dissection of doubt as the debilitating disease it is. The antidote is connecting back with our body, keeping it so simple that it can bring in doubt!
Doubt is actually an indulgence. A choice we make to question a truth that cannot be questioned. It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that my own body reflects the truth of my choices and the situations in life so evidently through the smallest of signs. It is a support and marker of truth that is always with us and it is actually our responsibility to embrace this all of the time.
Love it Joshua – ‘Doubt is actually an indulgence’. – ouch! A moment when we choose to not accept the responsibility of the truth we already know and what is needed next.
OUCH for sure. I had to read this a few times as I found that I was starting to defend myself. thank you Joshua for exposing this.
Well said Joshua, our body if we choose to listen to it can support us in so many ways.
‘Doubt is actually an indulgence.’ Absolute truth Joshua, a game which we play to keep ourselves small and away from the glory that we are.
Awesome Joshua. “Doubt is actually an indulgence”. When we accept that, it is easier to see doubt for what it is.
Well said nikkimckee, and we will also see how much we have been fooling ourselves with viewing it in this way
Yes, it is very exposing!
Ohhhhhhhhh…love it, Joshua: seeing doubt as an indulgence rather than something to be pitied or supported – that could seriously evolve human relationships, that concept 🙂 I love the wisdom of our knowing truth in our bodies – so well said.
This is definitely an enormous leap of evolution for humanity to accept, live and embrace this as a fact. For starters, if we had no doubt, then we would be far more expressive of our truth and far far less holding it back.
A great reminder of the responsibility we each have for how we hold ourselves in the wake of the choices we make. I can either allow myself to get absorbed into self doubt, or ” …accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing…” and through this “…I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself.”
Thanks for your blog Simone.
It is a very important point and it seems to me that because we mature in to adults, we somehow let go of the fact that we carry on learning for all of our lives and so there is no perfection to attain, just more learning. When this fact well and truly sinks in (supported by large doses of Universal Medicine) then it is easy to put down the self flagellation and see that every time we make a choice it has an outcome and responsibility is about being able to consider the outcome before the choice. Therefore there is never a right or wrong choice, but a range of consequences that either support the whole including yourself or a consequences that may or may not just benefit the one person.
Love your comment rowenakstewart – this is what I share with my kids – now young adults – it has made the most enormous difference to all our lives. None of us finish learning we just get more experienced at considering the consequence of our choices a smidgen quicker.
True Marika, doubt cannot exist in the light of ‘the absoluteness of truth and purpose’.
The appreciation of people’s weakness and strengths and understanding of how it all fits together for humanity shows how easily we can make it more complicated.
This is so important. ”There is no right or wrong, just learnings”. I have been making things so complicated in regards to worrying about if my choice was the right one or not.. And I agree it is exhausting. What I can feel from your blog is that once we accept that we are simply here to learn and not to make it ourselves even harder, there comes a huge acceptance of who we are and the choices we make. What I could feel yesterday is that I have been super invested in playing hard, and giving myself a hard time (as I did not know without), but what I actually did not want to submit is that this issue is not even mine, I am not hard and I certainly have to not give myself a hard time. This drop is an opening up for me and now I am aware that once I go into this pattern , I know I am playing small and holding onto something I am not. Thank you Simone.
Self doubt feels like a real set up for perfection and set up it is because it is so false and so not who we are.
At work I doubt myself all the time. I know how to do my work and I know the answers that are asked yet I doubt myself and this comes across to my fellow employees as me not knowing my job or the answer. Hence I get frustrated and upset when they ask someone else for the answer. I know it’s not their fault as I am aware what I’m expressing, this is the frustrating and disappointing part.
Simone there are many nuggets of gold in what you have shared. We can seriously take ourselves out with the torrent of abuse that we can lay on ourselves, simply by doubting. It’s simple though, make a choice, observe and learn. There is no need to give ourselves a hard time.
Observation is key!
I know when I’m really disconnected from myself this is when self doubt comes flooding in. On really bad days I stand in my walk in robe for ages unable to decide what to wear because my doubt has me so muddled. When I’m on fire and my love is just flowing, there is no doubt only a rhythm that presents the next choice that is felt in my body.
I can relate to this very well Lindell. And if I allow it to, the day will continue with this in every decision that I make.
Doubting ourself is only holding us back from feeling what is going on and that we are not the wrong choice we made but the only thing we have to remember is that we are beautiful beings and can always return to that what we truly are.
Doubt is in deed a very crippling thing, it is an energy we allow in to undermine ourselves so as to not have to take responsibility for the fact that we are all knowing.
Agree, marylouisemyers, it’s an energy we allow in from outside of us that deliberately destabilises us, to not feel our power. Doubt has been something allowed and expected in our modern societies because we’ve disconnected from how truly powerful we are. To keep this lie going we keep feeding ourselves with doubt — it’s a convenient way of keeping ourselves away from the truth.
Yes I agree Mary-Louise, doubt is an energy we allow in to undermine ourselves keeping us small. Appreciation and acceptance of ourselves for our own unique qualities is the key to preventing those debilitating thoughts of doubt to enter.
Beautifully express Marylouisemyers, it seems most of us try everything possible to shy away from this responsibility. I definitely have been one of these people but I am now learning to take more responsibility in life and in my every choice.
Yep – this sounds about right marylouisemyers. Even the mere thought of knowing I’m all knowing is enough for me to begin doubting.
Elodie, you say: ‘Even the mere thought of knowing I’m all knowing is enough for me to begin doubting’. Yes because that is a thought from the head a not a truth from the body, which connects us to the all-knowing.
I love what you have shared here Mary-Louise. The responsibility for the fact that we are all knowing.
…so isn’t it ironic that although we are in fact all knowing we still doubt ourselves.
There is so much in this blog, and the comments that follow. I agree in Full that no matter the choice we have made ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, there is always the opportunity for learning from our choices and their results and actually to begin to make choices that are in alignment to Truth & Love!
Hi Simone, what a great blog. Doubt is something that can creep in so easily for many and something that needs to be outed for how incredibly harming it is.
Yes I love this Simone, I find doubt the most destructive thing that there can be it is an easy way for getting myself into not feeling how amazing I am, enjoying this and sharing this truth with the world. It is true what you say you can only experience the after effect of your choices, going into doubt befóre you experience the after effect is a moment not fully lived.
Great to read your blog today Simone, I have been plagued with self doubt through out my life. As I learn to bring appreciation into my life and express it, not just to myself but to everyone, the less self doubt is able to take hold and run riot with my thoughts.
Thanks for this alisomnoir, appreciation is a huge key… the more we self-appreciate, the more self-doubt gets knocked on the head.
Isn’t it amazing what appreciation can bring? I can so relate to what you’ve shared Alisonmoir, I have very similar experience too. Appreciation also wipes out jealousy, comparison and judgement, it is very powerful.
A riot is precisely what doubt can bring alisonmoir very apt, and appreciation is the healing balm that brings us back. Well said.
Eliminating doubt out of my life was the best thing that I could do to myself. Wondering how I would feel if I would doubt that all I am now. I am sure not at a good state of being. I know what doubt does in my body and I choose not to allow it in anymore. I am amazing as I am, not perfect but aware of what is good for me and what is not.
What I love, love, love about your article Simone is how we get to see that we can still hold the bigger picture and appreciate – whilst we note, learn and move on with the detail. “By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” That bigger picture of appreciation is key to not letting us fall into the doubt and downwards spiral of ‘failed’ or ‘not good enough’.
Thank you Simone. I Like how you point out that there is no right nor wrong but that there is always a learning and that there is an even greater learning together as we have all mastered different areas in our lives and thus are a reflection for others while the areas that still need development we have the reflection around us of those that have mastered it. Together we evolve, as Glorious Music so beautifully says.
Doubt can be seen as a crack, seemly insignificant at first, however that crack allows water to seep in thus exposing for mould to grow. Doubt is not one bit constructive to say the least.
I love this analogy Luke- it is very fitting.
Well said Luke, and yes, when we allow it to, that mould does grow.
Lovely Blog, there is no such thing as wrong and right, its what keeps us separated from love. In love, there is only truth.
Well said Harry. I completely agree. This in itself stops any need for self bashing and doubt. Truth and love or not.
Doubt is a trap because once we allow it in we are gone, so to speak. Doubt exists because we do not trust our inner knowing, and do not live from our inner heart. In there, no doubt exists, only a quality and state of being where one knows themselves to be the Son of God. If we aligned to the intelligence of our bodies, and connected to the oneness that is felt in the inner heart, it would be impossible to have doubt because truth is always felt and never intellectualised into “right and wrong”
I agree Harry. there is no doubt in the inner-most heart. Doubt can only infect us through a disconnected mind.
Being responsible for our choices is needed. It’s the only way we can move forward in life and not remain stuck or victims. Having a self-loving approach with ourselves really helps; as when we’ve made mistakes, if we’re able to look at ourselves and the situation objectively, rather than through critical and judgemental eyes, we’re more able to see what we need to see and learn what we need to learn.
Simone I find its so important to have a strategy to use when self doubt comes in. I like the stop moment you describe here – ‘Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am. ‘ treating yourself in this supportive way helps break the negative cycle of self bashing.
It’s great to stop and have a moment of appreciation but to also observe the feelling with a detached curiosity, observing when and how it got in, realising it is not who we are, then oh so graciously moving on.
Doubt is definitely a biggie. When I’m ‘on a roll’ as they say – doing really well, maybe writing a great article or homework – doubt is definitely a way I know I sometimes let myself be swayed. Little questions like, ‘should I really be doing this?’, ‘did I ask with this person?’, ‘did I forget to write that in the message?’ play on me, and I can then very easily get distracted and unfocused thinking about all the things I’ve done ‘wrong’, instead of what I’m actually doing!
The only antidote to doubt is appreciation and acceptance, appreciation and acceptance, appreciation and acceptance. Did I mention appreciation and acceptance?
Adam I think you may have forgotten appreciation and acceptance..
Funny Adam and Jennifer – humorous and playfulness.
Yes Adam, I like this and agree totally.
Yes, and value value value ourselves and our value.
I totally appreciate and accept your words of wisdom Adam!
I love that you have come to the realisation that each choice you make provides you with an opportunity for learning more about yourself and developing who you are, allowing for you to deepen your appreciation and acceptance of self. This is a beautiful and inspirational way to look at life and choose to move through it, leaving constant space for evolution and little room for self-judgment or doubt.
Very true Samantha, well said.
Simone this is such an important blog. We waste so much time being hard on ourselves for making mistakes. When we see them as opportunities to learn it can transform how we treat ourselves and others.
Indeed when you take out the idea of a ‘wrong choice’, but see it as learning, it feels differently and it provides an opportunity to choose differently the next time. Someone once told me, it is either learning or evolving. That helped me a lot with so-called ‘wrong choices’.
Ah, the self-doubt monster! I know it well. Once that door’s been opened, it can be difficult to close, especially in long-term situations where the connection to self has been lost for some time. But, there is a way back and sometimes it takes the support of others to remind us who we are and what we know and feel deep within.
Absolutely Victoria. I feel as though I am very locked into a world of doubt at the moment, and I know I need the support of others to help break the pattern. The doubt grip has a strong hold and it won’t give up without a fight.
What works for me with doubt is to name it and say ‘no’ to it as if it were a fractious child wanting its own way. It cannot have its own way, for its own good, and I won’t let it.
I find sometimes that when the door is opened it takes flight and seems difficult to come back. It seems to take on a snow ball effect, until I take that stop moment and come back to me.
This is a great reminder Victoria that when we notice the wobbles of doubt sneak in, we can always seek the support of those we know can support us out of the doldrums.
The seeds of self-doubt are sown very young when we usually don’t get the confirmation of our amazingness just for being who we are, and in fact are often undermined and we choose to take that on. Then doubt becomes something we live with on a daily basis. It has been so liberating for me to realise through the presentations by Universal Medicine that doubt is actually a foreign energy I choose and let in. I now recognise when doubt enters and can feel this isn’t me, and am becoming much swifter at returning to my body and letting it go.
Yes, to all you say here Josephine – especially about the seeds of self-doubt being sown really young. I feel one of the main causes of the seed being able to find fertile soil is the ‘self-worth’ issue we may be already carrying. And the active sower of the seed can often be jealousy from a parent, teacher or other significant elder around us. Jealousy casts a horrible projection upon a young child and erodes away at the already ‘iffy’ self worth. And boom! You have a race of ‘doubters’ – perfect way to keep us down and from shining the glorious love that we are.
Simone a lovely timely blog and one that shows the importance of truly appreciating all that we have in our life and all the choices we’ve made. Also the damage that doubt can do by literally knocking us over, yet the simplicity in which we can come back as there is no perfection.
‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ I love this Simone, it is something I definitely need to take heed of. I can be so hard on myself when I make poor choices and recognise the tsunami or negativity they can engulf me if I allow it. When we take each moment as an opportunity to learn there is nothing to be hard on us about only and absolute awareness of our evolution. This is a beautiful blog to read at the start of a new day.
I agree Fiona – such wisdom is offered here. What I am coming to understand is that it is pointless to beat ourselves up because if we are all energy and therefore have a choice of the quality of energy that flows through us, then we either allow what is true or what is harming to come through us – and it is the quality of how we live that dictates the energy – so it is about responsibility to this fact at every moment.
This is a great subject to explore Simone, as if we didn’t have any doubt we would be at home in the absoluteness of knowing we are the sons of God.
Hear hear Josephine.
What you are suggesting Josephine is exposing the humongous level of doubt that nearly all of us live on a daily basis.
Great point Josephine, that just about says it all. We would know that we were all the sons of God equally so, without a doubt. I love it.
Over the last few weeks I have been aware of this ‘quite’ doubt that is there. Doubt I do not know and doubt about myself yet when I stop I can feel and know that these thoughts are not actually mine but something I am being fed; then I can come back to the truth in my body and the truth of who I am. Doubt is something that is used to take us away from ourselves. It is incidious and as you have shared has no hold if we are completely present with ourselves.
We do not have to be perfect, that is something I have struggled with over the years, feeling like it has to be 100% bang on, yet it is the learning we take in what we do, and also the observation that we can’t do it all ourselves and we should leave ample room to appreciate what others bring, as together we can manage it all, each of us using our strengths. Beautiful points you share Simone.
I can really feel how I can at times do this too and how debilitating it is, ‘I start to doubt my decisions, my choices and second-guess everything I have done’, it feels awful and the thing is that it is not who I am, I am allowing these thoughts to enter less and less because I can feel how sabotaging they are.
Simone I love how you share ‘there is never right or wrong there is only learning’ – I very much agree and this is a joy to read that perhaps it isn’t about beating ourselves up when we get it wrong but rather about looking what is behind the choices we have made.
This way hvmorden I feel is the true way of going deeper- looking at what is behind our choices. And staying present and connected with how our bodies feel.
Yes, I agree – the statement, “there is never right or wrong, there is only learning” is gold and a great motto for those of us who go into self criticism and harsh judgment.
It’s amazing what we give our energy to. As you say it is completely exhausting to focus on all the negative stuff that we can allow. I am learning just to go ‘oops’ and come back to myself and continue on-wards without too much self blame.
Saying ‘oopps’ has been such a blessing for me to learn and still learn to do. In the last I use to very quickly and easily fall into justification, right and wrong, perfect not perfect etc but it us all a game.
We are here to unfold, to evolve, be reflected to and learn, so every moment is a blessing that we can reflect on and learn from. Life is about being true.
Thanks Rebecca for the “oops” reminder, a simple “oops” and moving on certaily simplifies things by eliminating the heavy seriousness of doubt and being hard on the self.
Melinda I agree a simply “oops”, really allows the detachment and to move on and not get caught in the justification and the heaviness of doubt.
So true Melinda. Imagine if we all forgave ourselves a little more…surely the tension in the world would drop in an instant!
It is amazing what we give our energy to that’s for sure. As I was reading this blog I could feel my own exhaustion.
A great blog, Simone. “But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning.” We will never learn and move on if we don’t make mistakes. Doubt is fed to us – it is not who we are.
Thank you Simone, a beautiful blog that brings us back to the truth that life is about learning not perfection. When we connect to that we can live life like a child does, always open and willing to have a go and able to learn from and move on from those attempts that didn’t work out quite as we expected, without having to diminish who we are or how we feel about ourselves.
I’m realizing how self-doubt and perfectionism go hand in hand. There’s a lot of ideals and beliefs in me that cannot but create self doubt when life is presenting me with opportunities that this in fact might not be true. So why do I hold on to them. Could it be Floris that by holding on to them that you’ve got the perfect excuse to not take more responsibility. Yes life, God, that could be very possible. Even writing this makes me feel lighter and smiling. Thank you Simone.
‘…together we are each an important piece of the whole of humanity and if we appreciate each other we can work together in brotherhood without judgment or criticism.’ Appreciating what everyone brings to humanity is our gold. It feels amazing to hold myself in love and others in love, appreciating what we all bring to humanity.
A great assessment of the strength and downfall of doubt and also, in truth, how simple it is to re-connect to the truth of oneself, “Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am”.
I can go into self-doubt, thinking I am not good enough or like you share, thinking I have done something wrong. I am experiencing that self-doubt can only kick in, when I am not present and with myself. I am actually using self-doubt as an excuse to not be me, all of me. How ridiculous is that…?
I agree Mariette, doubt seems to cast a huge shadow, but it’s actually nothing compared to the light we are. It feels so real but it’s all an imposed illusion. I always feel that doubt as very crushing and compacting, instead of my natural state of being – expansive and buoyant.
Precisely Mariette, i too have used doubt, “…as an excuse to not be me..” Yet when i am being me, i love it and it is the most precious thing in the world..
I recently learned that (self) doubt is just something we create ourselves as an excuse to not be all of who we are and take responsibility for what we have to do. Awesome insight….
It’s easy to literally almost drown self doubt, a tsunami is a great way to put it. As a humongous self doubter, I have noticed that when I doubt myself the thoughts are often the exact opposite to what is in fact true. They are actually blatant lies that I choose to believe for a quick moment of self bashing. But what I have noticed is, no matter how strong or believable they are, it’s always a choice to continue to believe them, and to walk effectively with my own cloud of doubt around my head.
The simple realization, revealed by the the way you say it, that doubt has ENTERED already is huge. The moment doubt is in us we are IN doubt and identify with everything it feeds us. Once we let in doubt the doors are wide open to be flooded with everything we are not, it is like an invasion and it can´t be stopped by combatting the offender. The only way to stop doubt is by closing the gates, and as you describe, it is by coming back to something we know is truth, that belongs to who we are and we must feel it in and with our body hence presence is key.
A great sharing Simone. “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” This takes us away from all the doubting and the exhaustion of the questioning and all that goes with it and keeps us going moving in our development and not back tracking and beating our self up for the past.
Why does it take so much energy to doubt? Is it possible that such a huge amount of effort is required because we actually do already know that we are divine and thus, it takes considerable effort to counter that deep knowing that we all do have. Let me put it another way…if there is something you are not sure about, then it requires very little effort or energy to doubt it. Thus, by definition if it takes huge amounts of effort to doubt ourselves, then we must in fact be very sure of ourselves. I hope that makes sense – it does to me! And, I find, is an amazing truth to sit with.
Yes it does makes sense Otto. You are applying the science of energy about the equal and opposite force. And it is very revealing when we apply this science ,as you have, done, to our everyday living. Yes, we must be very powerful beings and in fact very sure of ourselves if we have to offset it with such an exhausting force.
Good. I’m glad it made sense!! This science, if applied to our everyday lives shows us so much. The forces that we need to go against our natural rhythms – it perfectly and pin-point accurately explains the ever-exploding consumption of coffee, sugar, salt and other stimulants. We are desperately consuming extra fuel to try to make it through the day, fighting the science.
Yes Otto, we as a race are constantly in fighting mode, or screeching on the brakes of expression, resisting who we truly are. The exhaustion and pain from this is enormous and the stimulants and comfort-seeking behaviour are desperate measures to cope with our choice to live against ourselves, and so others. The war, the bloodshed, the illness and disease, the suicide rates, the break down of relationships, the exploitation of the earth’s resources, are all testimonies to the quality of our so-called civilisation.
Pretty humbling when you express the fullness of the situation, isn’t it…thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and the Way of the Livingness…offering a choice for us all to live a very different life.
It’s interesting how you have highlighted the self bashing that can come with realisations of unloving choices. I have understood that this is simply an insidious game we play with ourselves to avoid the responsibility of the stepping up that consequently has to be made in our new awareness. I have found myself caught up in this trap too, but over time have let this go as I got tired of doing this to myself and found that simply appreciating the learning, as you have suggested, expedites matters considerably leaving the way forward much clearer making life much more simple. No doubt, just a learning and a moving on.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.”
And that is love, just beholding in love, without any judgement.
I love this article Simone, particularly, ‘By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.’ Wow, I can feel reading this how I can be hard on myself and critical if I do something ‘wrong’, it’s great how you make it this simple, saying there is no right and wrong just learning, it helps me realise that there is always something to learn and that I keep evolving and making changes if I do not go into self criticism and that actually my life is amazing and so to appreciate this rather than looking for the negative.
This is pure, sweet gold to read. Not only for me but also as a teacher. Now incorporated into a lesson on Monday, I know that this level of responsibility and self-acceptance is a keystone in education. Thank you.
I agree Matilda- pure gold.
This is fantastic Matilda. The world needs more of true education such as this.
Imagine the ripple effect if this was the way all children were educated – Huge.
What a blessing for your students Matilda…true education.
All blogs bring healing and supportive reflection in exactly the right way. Your Blog Simone is perfect in the light it brings when one is in self doubt. The moment connection is felt, the truth is known and there is no room for exhaustion and only the fullness of you is felt. Thank you exposing the doubt that sometimes plagues us and makes us feel less and for reminding us of the Love we naturally are.
Simone this is a great example of how ridiculous it is to expend all this energy creating a problem that frequently does not exist! Often it feels like we allow ourselves to indulge in the story, for part of us does not want it to be that simple, for this requires greater responsibility.
So true lucindag…and indulging in the story stops us connecting with the inner knowing and love we innately are, and exposes the great trick this game is. When we are connected to that inner wisdom, there is no doubt.
True. Doubt- It is like self creating a vortex that we then need to spend getting out of. Something we don’t like yet do to avoid feeling all we are and the responsibility we are here to bring to humanity.
Beautifully said lucindag. You can’t get more simple than that.
Absolutely Lucinda, doubt is something we use, as i have to not take responsibility and trust ourselves.
Absolutely, Lucinda, if we allow ourselves to indulge in a story we create complication, being a sidetrack for what is really asked from us if would take responsibility. So a great question is to ask ourselves; what do I need this story for? Without doubt things get very simple and we can be more to the point.
I like this part about seeing how there is just more to celebrate rather than lots to condemn and judge – turning each weakness in to a point of reflection and an opportunity to learn. This shows me the power that is there inside us all to create the lives we have according to the perspectives we hold.
I know self doubt all too well and have in the past mistaken self doubt with humbleness. It is as if the work has so little examples of those who stand solid and absolute in their lived truth that the only choices that we have are doubt or arrogance. For us to reconnect and know who we are and the fact that we are divine all knowing beings will offer a whole new perspective to the world.
I have known doubt and self bashing very well but am learning to let it go and be aware that it’s ok to make mistakes because we are not perfect. Doubt drags us down as you describe in the tsunami, appreciation for what we bring to each other lets go of the hold doubt can have on us and we can all learn to make a different choice.
“I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” Thank you Simone I can often get stuck on self doubt and right and wrong yet I am realising that it is ok to make mistakes and that I don’t have to be perfect. I have used self doubt as an excuse for beating myself up for too long! I have loved reading the book Whoops by SunLight Ink http://www.sunlightink.com as this really helps to break the heavy consciousness around perfection. Feeling we have to be perfect is one sure way to stunt our evolution.
Doubt is another way to beat ourselves up and gets us nowhere. Being aware, whenever doubt appears, that we’ve lost our connection and playing small, opens up the choice to return to the true and loveing selves.
Great sharing Simone. “Tsunami of doubt” comes so loaded with what if’s should have’s etc. Excuses and justifications certainly compounds this inner turmoil of that seed of doubt. Appreciation certainly lightens our load and allows an opportunity to make self loving choices a more natural flow with our lived ways and not to be hard on ourselves in that process.
Simone, holding our mistakes as nothing more then an opportunity to learn is not something we have learned. Our schoolsytem for example is set up for us to feel we are less or failing when we make mistakes. What a difference it would ale if we were all thought we are amazing no matter what and that our mistakes are just ways to learn to express this amazingness even more so.
Before when I use to get myself into doubt it really took me out, It felt like a tsunami, I use to be caught in perfection allowing doubt to creep in. Now I know there is no such thing as perfection, just a learning. I now just trust what I have done from my connection to my body and if it is wrong I just see it as a learning.
I can relate to the exhaustion that is often felt by going into doubt and the cycle this creates of more doubt / anxiety / stress etc.! I am finding the more I am present with my body and the more I am honest and willing to not override what my body is telling me, the simpler, freer and easier life is (and at the same time it is a natural flow-on that as well as ‘being’ more, I am actually able to ‘do’ more).
Self doubt is insidious in our society because we have been brought up to rely on other people’s good opinions instead of truly feeling for ourselves, therefore we are constantly seeking positive feedback from outside, and when we don’t get it, we fall into doubt. It is indeed debilitating, and it is not who we are. I agree, developing self appreciation is definitely the antidote.
Great point Carmel we live in a society where we value and continually look for confirmation outside of ourselves instead of truly feeling for ourselves and connecting to all we are already within.
So true Simone – judging and bashing ourselves for having made a ‘wrong choice’ only increases the pressure and tension as the mind runs over and over the same scenario, playing out what could have been said or done etc. There is little of no awareness and connection with the body at this stage and the tsunami of doubt magnifies its force and takes us out completely. Utterly exhausting!
“If I get stuck on the fact that I made a ‘wrong choice’, I am taken out by the tsunami. But when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself. I am not perfect and making mistakes is a part of that, in that each mistake is an opportunity for learning”.
“There is never a right or wrong: there is only learning” – thank you for this reminder. It’s amazing how we question our own choices and set ourselves up for anxiousness, doubt and regret. When I want things to be in a certain way, I am robbing myself of appreciating this opportunity of learning.
It definitely takes practice to catch the self doubt and then choose to stop those thoughts from taking hold, which we know can be so exhausting. Bottom line is it’s just not worth indulging in self doubt, and like you say Simone those moments are a learning and an opportunity to appreciate ourselves.
Thank you Simone, there is sharing in this blog that I feel is very simple about trust – trusting a connection to ourselves and a rhythm that it brings, so that when something presents itself which may challenge who we think we are and threaten to take us out of that rhythm, we come back to the nuts and bolts of who we are (our bodies as you share) and just trust there is something there to read about ourselves so we can arrive at a deeper appreciation of who we are. We are here to learn, not to be perfect and you have encapsulated some important points about this.
Thank you Simone I can really relate to the tsunami of doubt that enters my mind when I lose my connection to myself. It is very insidious and exhausting and is definitely a delaying tactic I have used to prevent me evolving. Appreciating myself and connecting to my breath are great tools for banishing doubt as is accepting that there is no perfection only learning.
A deeply honest and powerful blog Simone on a topic that is deeply ingrained in humanity. Self doubt is the master of keeping us separate from the absolute divine and glorious origins we are actually from. If allowed to run, it diminishes, separates and imprisons us – a form of horrible living torture.
Doubt is a real killer, it can quite literally halt us in our tracks and cloud our judgement. Once we connect to doubt it seems to take us over and completely fog screen our view of ourselves and life. I have found the only, well in my case the best way, is to counter doubt with truth, rather than simply denying the doubt or saying no it. By claiming the truth of the situation, doubt then has no room to fester, something it loves to do!
Simone, what i got from this is that it’s about choice, and that essentially (and in light of doubt, or its after effects) there is no ‘wrong choice’ – just choice, because either which way, or in each choice — there is always the needed learning to support our evolution… and make a new choice based on this.
I so agree Marika, when I am connected to my body and more present I find there is no space for doubt to enter. But when I disconnect, I find I go into doubt, I get tired and my choices become less supportive then before. Seeing our choices not as right or wrong but simply as an opportunity to learn supports us to come back to who we are. I love this about what Simone has shared here.
A great reflection Simone and inspiration as to the cause of self doubt and not being present in ourselves and our body. The effects of this cannot be underestimated on our selves and on all our lives as humanity as one.The choice of appreciation and love for ourselves is a beautiful realisation and brings the love back to everything with a joy and fullness of who we really are. Thank you for this inspirational sharing.
I know doubt starts when I leave my body and I go into my head and follow the undermining thoughts I have allowed to enter my body, it is in the way I move, in the way I eat, it is in everything and yes very very draining and very very far away from who I truly am.When I stay in my body there is no doubt whatsoever and only then I am able to appreciate and celebrate all that I am.
From a place of appreciation of our beauty, there is no such thing as a ‘wrong’ choice just a moment for further learning. Seen this way we can say without doubt, doubt is just a sticky goo that gets in the way of life.
Appreciation of ourselves is so key in our unfolding, as through the grace of appreciation the ‘goo’ has no place to stick.
I really like how you bring it back to self-responsibility Simone and seeing each situation as an opportunity to learn, this way it never becomes about good/bad, right or wrong, simply an opportunity to learn and grow.
‘I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it.’ In this is a real understanding of how we are to come back to who we truly. Very simply feeling and appreciating that each moment is a new opportunity to learn about where we come from and where we are heading back to.
I can feel the truth in the fact that we don’t need to beat ourselves up because we may have made the “wrong” choice as there is learning in every choice we make. Doubt comes in when we try and divide choices into right and wrong.
Doubt is the enemy of evolution. Our evolution simply being: to return to the love that we are.
Doubt is the poison that intends to eat away everything that is of truth, a very deliberate insidious weapon to undermine the Son of God to know himself as nothing more than the Son of Men.
So true Liane, if I doubt myself, I can miss out on amazing opportunities. Usually if a doubt comes in about doing something, it means I can do it, I’m just sabotaging the opportunity.
A doubtful thought is now a signal for me to stop and appreciate myself and the situation presented.
Yes – love is not something that needs second-guessing.
Well said Liane, I totally agree.
So simple and so true Liane Mandalis, the enemy of evolution.
How Charles Darwin would have loved to have known this!
I seem to allow doubt when I choose trying to get a situation “right” over just giving something a good old Aussie go. What I am realising is wether I get it right or wrong, the commitment and remaining open is what is important. When I choose doubt I feel as if I am treading water, never committing to anything I feel out of fear of getting it “wrong” and in that…. there is no evolution.
Yes sarahraynebaldwin when we choose doubt it is like treading water – we go nowhere…and if we stay there too long it is exhausting and the risk of drowning is a real possibility. Not a great scenario. Allowing doubt in then is an indulgence and keeps us in the excusing and delay of returning to the love we are.. no evolution there. Totally agree.
Love how you have expanded on the treading water example and indeed I felt like I was drowning when I am indulging in doubt in the past.
Doubt is such a crippling thing and is there to undermine us at every turn. Just like in a tsunami the likelihood of us drowning in it is very strong. Appreciation is indeed the antidote and the more we appreciate ourselves the less we are able to let doubt enter and take hold.
Coming back to feeling what is true for me, in my body, has been key in periods or moments of self-doubt for me. This is too a form of appreciation – appreciation of the wisdom of the body and our deep knowingness.
I love the way you’ve described it Simone… ‘the ever-waiting tsunami’ is so apt. I have always experienced self-doubt as debilitating, but once I understood it as an energy that enters, rather than something inherent within me (I need to work on!), that changed everything. It doesn’t mean I don’t still let it in at times, but now understand that before that happens, l’ve already stepped back from the truth I felt, so don’t spend the extra hours and days trying to sort our ‘my self doubt’. It is so much simpler to go to the other side of the equation and reclaim what has already been felt.
I agree Jenny (and with the ‘still need to work on it’). It is nothing but an energy that comes in. Thus the interesting question – why do we let it in? Could it be that doubt actually let’s us off the hook of having to take FULL responsibility?
I agree Otto doubt is definitely a way of postponing the taking of full responsibility in making a choice.
Yes Otto, that is the truth behind why I welcome doubt at times. It is the perfect reason to not take full responsibility, some examples: if I ” I don’t know something” or ” I am not sure what to do” then I can rope someone else in to do it for me, on top of that, if anything goes wrong I can also secretly blame whom ever I roped in, never having to feel the responsibility of making a mistake. Whats even more perfect is I do it all under the guises of being an incapable victim. Doubt is a card and its one I can openly say I have played for a long time to avoid responsibility. It feels connected to a strong belief in right and wrong and a commitment issue. I get so afraid to commit to “knowing anything” out of fear that I might get it “wrong”. Its a crazy way to live and is not fair on those around you.
Exactly, and so we play out the drama ‘of being hard on ourselves’ as a smoke screen, whilst the irresponsible part of us sits in the background and watches, with no true stop or call to account.
Kylie. I am with you on this. I have played that card so many times. Another one that I do is “honesty” – wallowing in the honesty of some stuff-up that I have made. I can stay in that for days – yuck! And it’s not even honest. The honest answer is that I am not taking responsibility for a choice that I made.
Absolutely agree Otto, a step back from what has been felt, and the responsibility inherent in what is required in response to that. This leaves self-doubt as the complete red-herring it actually is.
Love it Jenny. “This leaves self doubt as the red herring that it is”. Absolutely. Or – look at it this way…to doubt self, we must first know self. Thus the self doubt is an absolute indulgence and distraction.
So spot on Jenny. Self-doubt isn’t native to us, it’s an ‘import’ from outside of us. Identifying it as an issue to be ‘worked on’ and ‘resolved’ is another trick of those forces external to us that love to keep us dazed, confused and disempowered.
Yes too true, and another layer beneath that is the choice to say yes to those forces, accepting the ‘issue’ and ‘working on it’ in great earnst and diligence, all the while avoiding the responsibility of responding in truth to what was needed in the first place. I know that all too well, and know that ‘dazed, confused and disempowered’ are all part of that same game plan too.
Thats beautiful Jenny and I can so relate to what both you and Simone have shared. That tsunami does come in from the outside and trying to sort it out by focusing on it has never ever (ever!) worked. By this fact trying only weakens us and then allows the doubt to get on top of us even more! Coming back to our feelings is our place of strength and saying ‘oops’ when mistakes are made has changed my life drastically! the ‘self-doubt’ and their friend ‘self-bash’ are no friends of mine when perfection is not there holding the door open for them. Being a student of life is a far healthier way to go.
I love it Leigh… they are absolutely bed-buddies I agree – ‘self-doubt and self-bash’! One generally leads to the other and so we stay in the cycle of holding ourselves back. It is responsibility that ultimately gets these two truants out of bed and off to work 🙂
Great distinction Jenny.
This is absolutely true Jenny, doubt is just an energy we allow in and not who we are, it can’t own us if we say no to it and connected to that which is amazingly there inside of us.
I agree Jenny – it’s great when we’re able to recognise that the doubt is an energy we’ve allowed to enter and rather than waste time trying to analyse it, simply let it go and trust the feeling we had before the doubt came in.
Wow what a great expansion of the blog Jenny. Seeing it as an energy that has been given permission to come in gives us the impetus to ensure we seal the opening.
Yes it opens a completely different line of enquiry, one that at least has a hope of finding the truth behind it. That’s why self-doubt is crippling if we see it as an issue, because there is no way to ‘work on it’ in truth. It has to be seen for what it is, a red-herring.. ultimately to avoid responsibility!
Simone, in reading this I could feel how exhausting the self doubt and self bashing is. I love how you made it so simple, to just stop and reconnect, acknowledge that a choice may have not been supportive, feel this in the body and then move on without sinking into the self doubt. Thank you.
Yes, this is a manoeuvre that can be performed in any situation where a potential ‘issue’ arises: stop, reconnect, acknowledge, feel, move on. This prevents wheel-spinning of the sort that keeps us stuck and floundering.
“Then I remember to take a moment to stop, feel my body, feel my breath and most importantly, appreciate how amazingly beautiful I am.” You can just feel all the doubt falling away when you read this. There is no room for doubt when you focus on your own beauty and innate qualities.
Universal Medicine has presented the power in taking time for ourselves, free of judgments and perfectionism – for when we are lost in a problem/ a story it is so supportive to return to the consistency of our breath and the simplicity of our bodies.
To me it is so important to allow myself to be playful in life and to not be harsh with myself when something goes wrong. The playfulness helps me to see that I am equal to all others and am not perfect in any way shape or form, but that life is a continuous lesson for me to learn and any moment more of who I am and about the world I live in. And as you say Simone, to choose this joyful connection with myself and everything around makes me celebrate life and all the aspects it brings to me.
As seriousness is a good companion of doubt they often come together for one of their unpleasant visits. Playfullness and loving humour are a dish they don´t like to be served as it spoils their appetite.
Every time when seriousness and doubt knock on my door they will be invited by the playfulness and loving humour that is on the menu, and I am for sure that they will pass on and are not interested in having dinner with me.
Haha, they are quite boring and annoying guests anyway, shall they feed on themselves until they realize they are not even real.
They’ll starve to death Alex, because we will not entertain them.
… your comment about seriousness made me laugh Alex. With playfulness and loving humour self doubt and seriousness do not have an entry point.
‘Playfulness’ is a key word for me too, Nico. When I get serious, I get tense and narrow and my mind easily grabs onto thoughts that would make me feel less. When I am playful I feel more expansive and can allow things to flow and not get affected by them. I am more like an innocent child responding to life with no judgment, expectation or comparison.
Yes Sandra, life is just having fun in which we are allowed to make mistakes to learn form. There is no perfection and we are never any less or more than anybody else. We are equally grand and from Divine origin.
I appreciate what you have shared so much Simone. “…when I accept that each choice provides me with an opportunity for learning and developing then I can feel a deeper acceptance of myself”. I absolutely love this line too. When I read it I can feel how unnecessary it is to beat myself up for getting it ‘wrong’ and I my whole body surrenders and says a big yes. Approaching life this way feels far easier and lighter.
Absolutely Leonne, self-flagellation of any type does not work! Appreciation and being responsible for our choices certainly makes life simpler and lighter.
Gorgeous Leonne Sharkey, this part also stood out for me, that every mistake we make is just really another learning and an opportunity to accept our imperfections as part of it.
A timely blog for me to read this morning. “By deeply appreciating who I am and the fact that all that I am blessed with in life is the result of my choices, I realise there is nothing to doubt and nothing to give myself a hard time about. There is just more to celebrate.” Time to reflect deeply on this. Thank you.
Yes Jenny Hayes, celebration is a fairly new ‘concept’ for me, it did not exist in my life before I came to Universal Medicine, and it is such a valuable asset to have in life, in fact it is what gives us the foundation to expand and grow.
Your description of self doubt as a tsunami is very clever because it can be like that. Thoughts that can ravage the mind can take days to recover sometimes. For me self doubt came from a level of subtle emotional abuse. Having kicked this belief out of the park by realising I was not responsible for the well being of others. It is however still tricky when that energy is forced upon me but I am much better equipped to read, understand and see it for what it is, and that is it is not my problem so I don’t take it on.
Hi Matthew Brown. You say that doubt is very ‘clever’. I would suggest an alternative, that I have begun to see recently – which is that it is in fact we who are very clever, because we use self-doubt as an excuse not to take full responsibility. Self-doubt is the perfect get out clause allowing us off the hook of the living the full power that we actually are. By seeing it this way, I have found it very empowering because it puts the ball back in my court – where it is fact, ALWAYS is!
What an exposure Otto of the fact that we play victim to our doubts…”oh dear…poor me…I cannot possibly do that!” Yes I cannot do what I am here to do. I cannot work and serve in the way I am designed to.
It is the perfect “get out of gaol card”, yet how we suffer with its usage.
We torment ourselves two fronts: the agony of doubt compounding the agony of not doing all that we are here to do.
I know exactly what you mean Rachel. However I think we need to be super careful in our expression here. I know it is semantics and I know it is detail (but we all know who resides within the detail!). “The agony of…” A question? Is it really agony? Or is that agony also created by ourselves to enable us to indulge in our delay and comfort and to enable us to not feel the irresponsibility of the life we are not living. What I mean is that because it is ‘agony’ it is the most perfectly designed set up. We are creating an emotion to protect us from the choices we have made. Genius! Yet totally off the truth. Amongst all of this, one has to marvel at how clever we are in the creation and continuation of the illusion. And if such ‘intelligence’ is needed, it proves to me 100% that we know exactly what we are doing and that what we are countering must be amazing, to require such cunning and force.
So true Matt, from a clear, crisp day to a tsunami of thoughts all designed to avoid feeling what is there so simply to be felt.
Self doubt is something that I have battled with quite a lot. It is slowly starting to lessen as I notice and explore for myself why it is that I leave my body which allows doubt to come in. Second guessing myself sends me into a mental spin, which isn’t very pleasant. Now, when doubt arises, I make the choice to come back to my body and be gentle with myself. There is usually a hurt to deal with which is how I have let the doubt in.
That is very moderate Donna – to describe the spin-cycle of doubt as “isn’t very pleasant”! 🙂
I would describe it as dreadful. Every solid reference point in our lives – all that we know to be true gets compromised in that awful moment. The most wonderful thing we can do is to develop an understanding of this beast of a thing and deny it any place in our lives.
Thank you Simone for such a beautifully simple explanation of ‘doubting’. I can relate to the examples that you have shared as I feel most of humanity would do too. But as you express if we don’t get caught up in the ‘doubt’ and see it as another opportunity to deepen our awareness and connection then it has served its purpose.
Thank you Simone and Susan. If we were Dolphins and doubted we were in the ocean we would drown. Are we not in a sea of energy that feeds us the doubt so we are all feeling like we are drowning? The Dolphin is absolute in its knowing that it is in the ocean and does not drown. When I realised that I lived in an ocean of energy, life became about choosing which energy I would align to. I now make the choice to live to the best of my ability, in the energy that brings love to my body and to be free of the energy that causes doubt This takes any force out of the tsunami!
It is beautiful the way you have tracked the tsunami sequence that doubt triggers Simone . . . and the exhaustion it brings.
Doubt is one of the most undermining indulgences we can ever choose. And appreciation and valuing of oneself is one of the most nurturing and evolutionary choices we can make. Recently a good friend treated some arrangements we had made in what felt to me to be a shabby and careless way. Another great friend reminded me to simply appreciate how caring I am (no perfection!) in my arrangement and dealings with people, and this deepened my capacity to not take this personally. As we ourselves live the way we love, so doubt has less and less to take a foothold with.
Agree Lyndy, the relationship we have with ourselves and when it is of love and care as you say, it develops the most essential ingredient – Trust of self and also others. When there is trust, doubt cannot enter.
Well said Zofia, and we build that trust through our presence in everything we do, every person we meet, and bringing attention to everything we feel.
Lyndy I love this “Doubt is one of the most undermining indulgences we can ever choose. And appreciation and valuing of oneself is one of the most nurturing and evolutionary choices we can make.” Sometimes I can feel like I am a victim to doubt and let it overwhelm me but you have reminded me that it is only an illusion and I can choose to buy into it or not. As I start to appreciate myself more I am realising it is the foundation for much healing.
I love this Lyndy. When we try to fight doubt “head-on” so to speak, all we end up with is an intellectual tussle. We may even think that we have eliminated doubt, but in fact it has just gone into hiding, waiting for its next opportunity to arise -it is a masked bandit hiding within us.
As you point out, so beautifully, it is when we start to see doubt for what it is that we can put down our weapons, and stop the fight. We embrace love, in our movements and gestures, and in our dealings with ourselves and others we start to create an internal environment in which doubt simply cannot thrive. The bandit starts to lose its foothold on the smooth and unrelenting walls of our own love.
“The bandit starts to lose its foothold on the smooth and unrelenting walls of our own love”. Sublime Rachel, just sublime.
Absolutely Rachel, doubt cannot exist in the presence of Love. So beautifully expressed.
We use doubt as a form of delay to stop us from living the love that we are. When we are willing to accept the grandness that we are and that we are from, then we have no need for this excuse anymore. It is simply a ploy used by the ‘little self’ to stop us living BIG. In truth, not a flicker of doubt can enter the kingdom where our true self lies, crowned in all our gorgeous glory. The tsunami of doubt, although seemingly very real, is yet another device we create to hide this truth from the world. Doubt cannot enter the Kingdom of God – it can only trip us up on route.
This is an awesome exploration of the perils of the doubting mind Simone, thankyou.
This is very powerful Liane as we can get caught up in thinking the doubt is something of us, that we are where as it is nothing more then an energy we call in to offset the great and absolute knowing we hold inside.
Awesome Liane, doubt can ….”only trip us up en route..” This is a great analogy, as ultimately we come to realize the magnificence of who we truly are, and there’s no doubt about that!
Absolute truth Liane.
Yes, no doubt whatsoever!
Liane – this is so very beautifully said – and hits the nail right on the head. ‘We use doubt as a form of delay”, “It is simply a ploy used by the ‘little self’ to stop us living BIG.”
Absolutely Liane, ‘the perils of the doubting mind’ are indeed a ‘device we create’ to avoid responsibility and ‘stop us living BIG.’ How crazy is that! – and how exhausting it is to continually create the resistance that is required to continually step down our power.
Stunning Liane, thank you. This cuts out all the stories we can create around doubt in full.
Liane what you say is absolute truth and it is an excuse that I think we have all have used at one point or another to avoid the inevitable fact of how grand we actually are.
Yes Liane, I love this. A brilliant exposure of the ‘little self’ as the good for nothing chatter-box that it is – all talk and no true action.
Beautifully expressed and exposed Liane.
I accept that Liane ! Well explained.
The ever waiting tsunami – I know it well Simone. I’ve found for me it has to be a non stop awareness of if I am to have any chance of not being taken over by it. Which really reflects to me the importance of supporting myself to be present in all I do.
Simone, I loved the way you described the process of doubting yourself and how a lack of presence leads to going into reasoning and exhaustion and stuck-ness…. It’s great because it externalises this process and I could feel myself tracking it too! Appreciation and coming back to my body and feeling how deeply beautiful I truly am simply because I am of God brings me back… Thank you I found reading and being with your words here, so supportive this morning!
Whilst reading your wonderful blog Simone I realised that I too have spent way too much time and effort in the doubt of myself, and being wiped out by the “tsunami of doubt” too many times to remember. But through the wisdom presentations from Serge Benhayon, finally coming to the absolute knowing that “there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning” was the revelation that changed my life, and as the learning expands – especially the learning about myself – those times of doubt are slowly diminishing.
Beautifully expressed Ingrid.
Thank you Ingrid, I agree, me too, ‘self-doubt’ is insidiously waiting to knock me over. By claiming this truth I am returning to me and thus bringing more power to the truth of who I am, so in the claiming of this truth in any “times of doubt are slowly diminishing.”
Ingrid that’s beautiful and a quote worth repeating many times. Only if schools present this…
Ingrid, I too have allowed myself to be overcome by self-doubt and it is amazing how it vanishes into thin air once we see through it. It is like a puffed up phantom that only exists if we believe in it. It deflates instantly once we stop blowing air into it. That means I am responsible for any doubt that enters me and once I recognise that I cannot blame anyone or anything – not even me.
Great analogy Sandra. So isn’t doubt then our way of avoiding responsibility.
So true Ingrid – its not doubt its more to feel and learn.
Thank you Simone Lewis! I just love what you have shared here. Doubt is a vicious poison in our relationship with ourselves and the absolute wisdom and knowing that we undoubtedly always hold. To stop and reconnect and not add the layers of hardness on top makes things much more real and practical to work through.. This is a great tool to have and one we can all use when we notice the doubt that can attempt to run our day.
Celebration … what a key to life. To appreciate what it is that we are learning (including the fact that we are all Always! learning) brings us back to the appreciation of ourselves and the joy of knowing we are actively engaging and committed to life and all that it offers us to evolve. Doubt doesn’t even exist when we allow ourselves to feel the big and universal picture of life and celebrate the deeply beautiful purpose we are here for, to live in connection with ourselves and bring this in its fullness to the world.
‘Doubt doesn’t even exist when we allow ourselves to feel the big and universal picture of life and celebrate the deeply beautiful purpose we are here for, to live in connection with ourselves and bring this in its fullness to the world.’ Beautifully said Cherise, once we connect to the absoluteness of our purpose there is no room for doubt.
Life is one big school and we are all students together, indeed if we see learning as opportunities to evolve then we would no longer wallow in doubt.
So true Cherise when we feel who we truly are and where we are from, there is no doubt.
It is amazing how much effort we can put into doubting ourselves and hence what a drain it can be.
I agree Fiona. I have spent a lifetime plagued by doubt until very recently when I realised, through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom, that it takes more energy to resist love than to be it. Doubt is one of our many devices for resisting love. We curse its existence, yet we are its creator…
The following line Liane makes so much sense and keeps things very simple – ‘that it takes more energy to resist love than to be it’ When it is said so simply why is it that we spend so much time stopping ourselves from just being love?
So beautifully said Liane… ‘We curse it’s existence, yet we are its creator…’. This saves endless time attempting to unravel our ‘issue of self doubt’… is it merely a tool to resist being the love we are.
Love this Liane as it simplifies doubt seeing it only as a tool we use to stop ourselves from connecting to and living the love we so naturally are.
‘Doubt is one of our many devices for resisting love’ – wow. That’s so true. I can feel the not so obvious forcefulness in how doubt operates while it constantly cast the shadow of uncertainty.
That brings it really back to simplicity: doubt is just one of the many devices we use for resisting love and avoiding our responsibility to reflect to the world we are love and there is another way. Doubt is in the way of this evolution.
… and creating it by overriding the natural rythm of our body, which would confirm us in our love and power.
… hence appreciating ourselves, treasure what we know is of truth and love closes the door through which doubt could enter in the first place. It can be compared to the story about vampires. They cannot enter your house unless you invite them.
Brilliant sharing Liane a lot to be learnt from such a simple statement but such a big lesson for life.
These words “Doubt is one of our many devices for resisting love. We curse its existence, yet we are its creator…” are powerful and profound in their simplicity. There is no avoiding it – we create the doubt…so it is our choice – do we spin out in doubt or do we align to love?
Boom boom. Well said Liane! Doubt, “We curse its existence yet we are its creator…” it is a loop that plays us by our choice to let it run. Saying “No, no more.” once that is understood is a choice also.
I love that Liane, Doubt is one of our many devices for resisting love. We curse its existence, yet we are its creator! Boom boom!!! That says it all for me. Thank you.
Very true we spend a lot of time doubting ourselves all the while we are the creators of our own misery. We keep ourselves busy so we do not have to feel what is truly going on and the responsibility we have.
So so true Esther! Doubt is one of the biggest lures thrown out by the mental plane of distraction. It sounds as if we are ‘considering’ ‘have authority’, ‘are a weighty person who doesn’t freely say yes to any idiocy’ and are in fact ‘adult’, when all the time we were weaving a misery nest and turning our backs on responsibility.
That so stands out from Simone’s description hey Fiona – like treading water in muddy porridge, that is more shallow than we realise, but struggling harder, (exhausting!) when all the time all we have to do is put our feet down firmly, stand up, and step out.
Oh dear Kate, truly the creators of our own drama!
Yep – and as Liane says above: “Doubt is one of our many devices for resisting love. We curse its existence, yet we are its creator…”… exposing that we hop into the porridge ourselves to delay being the love we are. It is no more than a calculated technique to hold us back – yet we make it appear and sometimes really believe we are the victim of something external that undermines us.. Hugely revealing – and if we so choose – a very empowering, liberating understanding.
Love your analogy Kate, I can imagine this as a cartoon… however it is real life and unfortunately it is one we choose to play out all too often.
Commitment to life Kate nothing to loose and a lot to gain.
Agreed Fiona, working against our own nature is exhausting.
Until reading this blog I hadn’t really considered how exhausting it is to doubt ourselves in the choices we are making and the effort this actually takes when if we choose to accept, appreciate and be, then there is no effort. It is crazy how we fight with ourselves.
Beautifully written fionacochran01 – so simple ” … choose to accept, appreciate and be, then there is no effort”.
A brilliant assessment of how we can be our own worst enemy and take ourselves further out through self-reproach for our ‘poor’ choices. As you say, the attitude has to be one of building greater responsibility, not admonishment, and to see everything as an opportunity to reflect on our choices and the motivations behind them, rather than judging ourselves for being imperfect.
Thank you Simone and Cathy, I agree, admonishment all the way to self flagellation do not work, they are all “our own worst enemy”.
A total turn around. In the very instant that I make a mistake, my next experience is in my hands and more and more often these days I am gentle with myself saying ‘spot the opportunity’ or ‘see the offer’ and then it becomes a playful investigation and process of discovery.
So true Cathy Hackett, its a choice to self-doubt, and a choice to not – it is responsibility. How much do you want to acknowledge what you feel? I like to keep it simple and just feel if it feels true or not. When I accept this and acknowledge it, it supports me to move with my next expression. There IS no right and wrong, or “should I say this”, or “am I allowed to say this” – just my truth.
Simone it is true that in accepting all of our choices, they always open up to more learning and deepening, there are no right or wrong choices, but wise and unwise choices, a wise choice is in rhythm with evolution every step of the way, but with any choice we will eventually get there. Because we are all in different points in our own evolution, sometimes our unwise choices are there to wake us up, so there is a purpose to every choice. A wise choice is one which is supported by our deepening awareness, and therefore in wisdom, awareness is that to be nurtured.
Wisdom simply stated here Adele Leung – this takes the sting right out of the harshness of judgmental thoughts of right and wrong we can crush ourselves with.
“there are no right or wrong choices, but wise and unwise choices”
‘….there is a purpose to every choice.’ This feels very supportive Adele, and very true. Knowing that there is purpose to each choice, whether a wise or unwise choice, makes one of them part of our learning and gives us no reason to go into guilt or self-blame.
In learning to trust again, I have also taken note of this exceptional excerpt “one person’s weaknesses are another’s strengths” – I feel this is something to take into all relationships, demolishing comparison, jealousy and judgement / protection. It asks us to look beyond what we see, into the qualities of another and what they have to bring. All in all, to do our part in purpose for the all.
This is so beautiful Arianne. its so important to learn to accept each others imperfections, and love each other based on the qualities that a person has and brings to a relationship. How different and open our world would be if we just said how much we loved each other first, and then worked out whatever does not belong to the grand love that we all are.
I love this Arianne. I feel like a big part of this is appreciating what it is that we do bring and then also appreciating what another brings. This helps to get rid of the comparison and jealousy too.
Yes and Serge Benhayon has said that we all have our own strengths and if we are not great at something that needs doing, find someone whose strength that is! We work together as a collective whole.
Totally Jo! It takes so much pressure off trying to be a part of something that does not truly support you or takes up your time for what your really good it. This has supported me immensely to allow another to bring what they bring, and when it’s your turn you bring it like it has not been done before! … We All Win !!!
There is no right or wrong – there is only learning. This takes much pressure out of our doings. Allowing oneself to not reach out for perfection but for a truer way of being is what it is about.
Dear Sonja, that is what stood out for me today as well. My shoulder went out this week and it feels around the pressure of being right or the’ horror’ of being wrong. To take ourselves off that hook feels a pretty cool thing to do, Sarah x
I can relate Sarah we can often be our own worst enemy setting ourselves up to fail, letting go of perfection and understanding it is all a learning is a beautiful thing to do, otherwise we can hold ourselves in a self made prison that only we have the key to unlock.
Sarah I had a similar thing with my knee and became aware straight away that I went to “what’s wrong” rather than “what going on?” It feels completely different with a different trajectory of reflection.
I love it sarahflenley – the horror of being wrong. It is such a relief to realise that we will be wrong, we will make mistakes, we will do things differently to what is expected and this is alright. We don’t need to beat ourselves up or go into self-criticism or abuse. Learn from it and more forward with the new awareness.
A good point Sonja and key in allowing us the grace to make mistakes and learn.
Donna, I enjoy your use of the word ‘grace’ here as it suggests to me a sense of divinity in everything that occurs – and the understanding that even a mistake or a mishap can provide an amazing opportunity to evolve. It also sugggests that we can love ourselves by understanding and not judging what we do as good or bad, right or wrong.This takes away the tendency some of us have to be our own worst critic.
Jennifer I like what you are sharing here because you are saying “to be curious not critical”. This is a whole new way to self evaluate – taking the self bashing out leaving the lesson to be learned in an open, untroubled way. What a much more loving way to go!
‘There is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ I want to re-read and re-read and re-read this. In fact I can feel a post it note for my desk coming on! This is true liberation for us all, and what about if this was our foundation in education…
I agree Matilda, how much are we influenced by right in wrong is our behaviours, ‘trying to get it right’ and avoiding at all costs ‘being wrong’. We react, we lie, we do all sorts of things to avoid ‘getting into trouble’ because right and wrong has been so drummed into us. If we lived with the openness of learning, it would completely revolutionise our relationship with ourselves and others. We would not guard nor protect ourselves or our behaviours, we would not fear being exposed, but instead hold a willingness to evolve and to be exposed so we can move to greater levels of truth.
Good point, Matilda. Education would much diffetent and kids would have a total diffetent foundation in regards of self-confidence and learning for life not only for grades.
Great point Sonja Ebbinghaus, the need for perfection and being right is the seeking for recognition and acceptance of self, kind of like a precaution so nobody can fault me and therefore reject me. The commitment to live truth is for the benefit of all and if I get rejected in the process, then so be it.
Sonja, this shatters all beliefs that we hold about being ‘right or wrong’. It feels far more loving and evolutionary for us to see each moment as a learning rather than a right or wrong self-critique perfection we traditionally may be accustomed to.
Absolutely Josh it does feel loving to let go of the fight of right and wrong. I watch myself entertain doubts because I am afraid if I fully claim what I am feeling that I will do something wrong or that I may regret. The ‘wrong’ always reveals a judgement I place on myself and what is there to regret in life if we give ourselves permission to absolutely honour what we feel?
The amount of energy that must go into ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ is huge! A very exhausting power-drain
I agree with all these comments about right, wrong and learning. We have to be the teachers that share it by us living it. It is hard to do at the start because being judgemental on ourselves is far more familiar, so the more normal we make it in our homes and around our friends, the more likely it is to offer others the inspiration to do the same.
Lucy you have brought in the practical application that is crucial in the abolition of the belief that there exists ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in human behaviour. In years to come we will see a complete over haul of the dictionary and these two words will be redefined to apply only to things such as answers in a test and never to human behaviour because not only do they not make sense when applied to human behaviour but they stunt evolution.
Yes and accepting that it is actually OK to make mistakes. I still see mistakes as failures, something where I was not good enough but if I viewed all those so called failures as opportunities to learn there would be no need for the self critique.
And through that learning, an evolution to be more, to understand more, and to be more prepared / expanded for the next oops.
Thank you Simone Lewis, this is truly beautiful and super important. Doubt has been a big influence in my life, as a result of shutting off as a child, and not feeling supported. I am understanding more and more how to love yourself is to build back from this doubt and instead to confirm who you are – that which you have for so long not expressed, but have wanted to. I love this notion of Learning, you have truly supported us all with this blog.
I agree Arianne, if the focus is to love yourself, then doubt has no room to come in. If it does 1. your not loving yourself. 2. Make that change to love yourself again. 3. Accept it!
This is a super important point, the more love you build in your life the more the self doubt dissolves. And if those thoughts arrive, they are so obviously imposters and much easier to say no too. So the key is always love 🙂
I like this line Simone….”but all I have to do is feel without judgment how each choice affects my body and not go into the story of feeling bad or guilty about having made that choice.” This keeps it very simple doesn’t it; if we let our bodies lead the way we would be in much better shape – ‘no doubt’.
No doubt about that Victoria Picone, the body has an innate wisdom that we tend to dismiss, but that can lead us out of our self-created mess any time we make that choice.
Yes Victoria, keeping it simple and not creating guilt and drama makes a huge difference to how doubt is in the short and long term.
The moment we observe ourselves creating a story around whatever is happening – is the moment we know we are out of connection. I agree Victoria, our body holds the wisdom and love of the ages. No doubt about that.
Love it Victoria. There is no doubt that we would be in much better shape if trust what we feel. The clearest and simplest decision that I make are always when I am connected to body and trust what I feel.
Absolutely, and I love this line too: ‘In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.’ If we live from this perspective, we open ourselves up to actually LEARN from our choices… in being hard on ourselves, we actually don’t get the learning, just the self-imposed punishment; and hence don’t fully take responsibility and thus don’t arrest the possibility of it happening again.
Spoken like someone who knows and not in doubt Kylie Connors, love what you have written “If we live from this perspective, we open ourselves up to actually LEARN from our choices… in being hard on ourselves, we actually don’t get the learning, just the self-imposed punishment; and hence don’t fully take responsibility and thus don’t arrest the possibility of it happening again”. Responsibility before being hard on your self for being in doubt – love it!
..yes being gentle with ourselves is key, and being able to respond and be open to learning brings a humbleness also. We are all learning.
Perfectly timed blog Simone. I too have been battling with my own doubts about a choice I felt deep within my body, but then I second guessed myself and the choice and played out this huge story of scenarios in my head. This not only made me tired but also took me out of connection. These lines really resonated with me “I hold the responsibility for feeling the effects of each choice and learning from it. In this way there is never a right or wrong; there is only learning.” The truth is there really is no mistake in life but a celebration of a new learning. Thank you.
So true Kelly – there really are no mistakes. I find when I loose my connection is when I go into self-doubt and then this is where the second guessing comes in. Once the second guessing comes in this starts a vicious cycle were I find it difficult to be clear about a decision or situation. A perfectly timed blog for me too.
Got me pondering Kelly Zarb … look at it the other way round — doubt is the opposite of knowing truth, so if you are in a lot of doubt does that mean you know truth very well?