From Anxiousness and A+ in Art to Being Me in Art Expression

During my high school days, art class was my favourite subject. It was my home where I felt safe, secure and a real sense of belonging. It was where I most felt comfortable and where I could be seen and recognised for my talent. At the time it gave me status and a feeling of worth; many accolades came my way from my family, friends at school and teachers for what I could do.

To keep the status and the momentum of making things, I felt like I had to be amazing at all facets of art. I would try all different types of mediums and styles and research endlessly, looking for more, more, more. It was a never-ending thirst for knowledge and more recognition.

If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time. Without art, who was I in this vast world? Who would see me for who I thought I was? I wanted to be seen and honoured for my art, not for the truly amazing young woman I was within.

It was always about outside pursuits and not from what I held within that brought me glory, or so I thought at the time, but boy has that changed! I realised that I was consumed by making and creating art – being prolific at every aspect of this was what I strived for, it was what I lived for.

But what was I taking on in my body from these endless pursuits to be seen – was I truly living? What quality was I really bringing to my art?

During this time I was very anxious and my hands would shake quite considerably. I would use food as a distraction, to numb myself from the continual feeling of tiredness and anxiety I felt from the push to always be doing more; especially at dinner and after school when I would fill myself with a lot of carbohydrates or chocolate. My friends would always comment on how calm I always seemed, especially during exam periods or if we had a major assignment due, but internally I was a complete mess of nervous energy.

My level of anxiety and nervous energy continued well into my twenties when my body said enough is enough and I was diagnosed with RSI (Repetitive Strain Injury) in my right arm, which was due to my continual drive and force to be a someone that truly wasn’t me. This was when I found Universal Medicine and the lived wisdom of Serge Benhayon. I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.

The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was. This opened up my whole way of being in and with the world. It was an ever-growing and undoing of old habits and choices that I peeled back bit by bit when I was ready to be honest with myself and my body.

With the continual loving support of some inspiring esoteric practitioners and the lived teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I changed the way I ate, gradually feeling into what worked and what didn’t. I now care for myself with a level of preciousness and depth of love I never knew possible, finding that through my own gentle breath my shaky hands have completely disappeared and so has my RSI. These beautiful changes have also flowed through into my art practice.

I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing.

My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment. When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone. I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.

I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.

I am forever inspired by the glorious shining star Serge Benhayon, and the many stars of Universal Medicine.

By Kelly Zarb, Retail Manager, Melbourne, Australia

Further Reading:
What Causes Anxiousness?
Learning About Feeling Confident in my Expression Through HeART

596 thoughts on “From Anxiousness and A+ in Art to Being Me in Art Expression

  1. Thank you Kelly for sharing your experience with expression through art and how this has changed for you over time. As I read your article, I was reflecting upon art and its purpose – most artists and painters will produce art work for display which instantly seeks recognition and accolades. I used to be into sketching and painting and also very much into working with clay, but over the years I put that aside as I felt there was no real purpose to my art work other than that of trying to get attention OR allowing me to process my feelings. Art played a big role for me in processing my feelings. In fact I recall making some clay sculptures as a teenager and I had to work purely by hand in feeling my way through it as I would be crying so much I could barely see through the tears. I created some pretty impressive clay figures that many people used to ooh and aah about, however, I wonder today about the energy within those clay figures and how much of the sadness I was feeling was being ‘put into’ these object for people to then have in their homes. As a teenager, this was one way that I learned to cope and manage the feelings of overwhelm and anxiety – I used art as a means to let out the bottled up expression that was not being given a space to be verbalised. But would it not have been simpler for me to speak about this rather than put it into a piece of art work? I am aware that many artists often feel much overwhelm and can feel emotionally unstable, so I wonder how much artwork out there is actually painted through a form of clarity and purpose, not painted for accolades, and not produced through an emotional process? Something to ponder on…

    1. ” How much artwork out there is actually painted through a form of clarity and purpose, not painted for accolades, and not produced through an emotional process? –
      Henrietta your question is worth pondering upon- I guess not many pictures or art forms are done without the need for recognition, or have some emotion attached to it.
      I feel it starts with school- wanting to be seen.
      It seems to me that many teachers at school foster competitiveness, and the rewards that can be gained if you are number one. Fortunately, Kelly Zarb is certainly changing that.

      1. Brilliantly expressed Henrietta and much to ponder indeed. As I lived from the recognition of my work there were many people involved in the ugly web of recognition and the game I played but to be honest I know that I was the key player in the game. From my own need for recognition I was the puppet master so to speak because my own lack of self worth and acceptance fed that need from others including my parents, art teacher and friends etc.
        I have since thrown away all of my past work from high school as it felt very heavy and emotional which showed how sad and empty I felt at that time. I chose not to study art at university and just continued to paint and make on my own, which still didn’t deter my hunger for recognition. I would say back then I would have used my creative expression an an outlet to say what I felt instead of actually verbalising it yes. But in truth people use all kinds of things to avoid expressing the way they truly feel including pushing yourself at the gym, overeating or watching a movie, everyone has their own comfort and hiding mechanism.
        I actually stopped painting for many years as I didn’t want to hurt anyone if I was doing it completely connected to me, but this also is being dishonest to myself and my own way of being. Its the element of play and connection that I enjoy most, sitting with my paints and sometimes just mixing up colours is fun. There is no pull to have an idea of where it will go on the canvas but it is just a feeling to be with myself and enjoy that precious time being me. But what supports me even more than that is the connection that art has brought me. I enjoy talking to others about what they love and what inspires them, that’s what true art is: connection. Art is within us all, as we are all living works of art. That is worth recognising within each of us equally so.

    2. Brilliantly expressed Henrietta and much to ponder indeed. As I lived from the recognition of my work there were many people involved in the ugly web of recognition and the game I played but to be honest I know that I was the key player in the game. From my own need for recognition I was the puppet master so to speak because my own lack of self worth and acceptance fed that need from others including my parents, art teacher and friends etc.
      I have since thrown away all of my past work from high school as it felt very heavy and emotional which showed how sad and empty I felt at that time. I chose not to study art at university and just continued to paint and make on my own, which still didn’t deter my hunger for recognition. I would say back then I would have used my creative expression as an outlet to say what I felt instead of actually verbalising it, yes. But in truth people use all kinds of things to avoid expressing the way they truly feel including pushing yourself at the gym, overeating or watching a movie, everyone has their own comfort and hiding mechanism.
      I actually stopped painting for many years as I didn’t want to hurt anyone if I wasn’t doing it completely connected to me, but this also is being dishonest to myself and my own way of being. Its the element of play and connection that I enjoy most, sitting with my paints and sometimes just mixing up colours is fun. There is no pull to have an idea of where it will go on the canvas but it is just a feeling to be with myself and enjoy that precious time being me. But what supports me even more than that is the connection that art has brought me. I enjoy talking to others about what they love and what inspires them, that’s what true art is: connection. Art is within us all, as we are all living works of art. That is worth recognising within each of us equally so.

      1. I have a similar expreience with art – using it as a means to process my emotions and express them through the artwork – all because I didn’t want to express what I wanted to say verbally as I was too scared to do so so directly.

        Now I when I feel the impulse to paint I feel it’s about nurturing the connection I have with myself. It is no surprise to me I haven’t made that commitment to art or to myself as a work of art. Instead I have come up with lots of practical excuses why I haven’t made space to do so – a reflection of my resistence to truly be with me. Though there are undercurrents I know will surface to be let go of- wanting recognition, trying for perfection, worry I’ll not be enough company for myself, criticizing myself; what I will learn is nothing is greater than love. And what a beautiful way to get to know myself, through playing with colours.

      2. This hunger for recognition can run very deeply and go unrecognised for a long time.. overwork and perfection has been my go-to way of gaining recognition and acceptance from the world, instead of accepting myself and all that I am and bring, first. When we invest lots of energy into a particular area of our lives just to gain recognition or acceptance, there’s an emptiness to it an it, instead of the joy that we feel when we’re naturally being ourselves and bringing all of us into what we do.

    3. Whoa your comment holds a lot to ponder on. It made me realise how much I would get lost in painting and use it as a way of day dreaming or not being present in life. I re visited a house that has quite a lot of my old paintings in it recently and they instantly took me back to some pretty tough times of my life and I know for sure that it was not just the image that was having an effect on me, but how I was when I painted them. Like you share, the painting still had the sadness and anger that I was experiencing at that time painted into it.

      1. Great point Rosie – the checkout can be strong in a lot of art work and I have experienced that too…you check out and don’t let yourself feel and then all of a sudden you are back and there is what appears to be a pretty good sculpture in front of you. But really it was not you making it, as you have no recollection of it. Pretty disturbing actually, I feel. Where did it come from if it was not you? What worked through you to make the art work happen? Who did you lend your body to? I would often feel very tired in the body after such an experience of artwork as a teenager. Thank goodness I have a better understanding of energy these days and know that when we are not present with ourselves then other energies, not natural to us, can actually run us – not a pleasant thing in the end, I can assure you.

  2. Our body speaks for ourselves and will always communicate what needs to be said. No way we can pretend all is fine by ignoring it, sooner or later, a message will be sent to us in whatever form (accident, injury, Illness or diseases) which are blessings in disguise no matter how arch they seems to be.

  3. We don’t have to look far in our media to see what recognition does, the glory, the fame and the hype. It does not last, and leaves the person at the mercy to floating opinions. The way we build people up to then take it all way it is actually a very cruel system that does not care about you as a whole divine being but wants instead for you to forget about all your natural amazing qualities and focus on a part that will put you above another, thus creating separation.

    1. Seeking recognition is like putting yourself on one of those mouse wheels to continually spin in circles chasing a feeling of fullness when the best you can get is a fleeting reprieve from feeling your own emptiness.

      1. Our true self (Soul) is absolutely complete and full and never needs any recognition for it is already everything. Our separated aspect (spirit) forever seeks recognition and will never, ever be satisfied even if getting it for a moment because it is not IT but the emptiness you describe Kate, and nothing it ever does will change that. A great definition of spirit and be found at Unimedpedia spirit here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html

      2. That is a great picture katemaroney1 how awful recognition is and also how exhausting it could be. I am wondering when we as a society recognize what we are really doing.

    2. This is very true Samanthaengland, we allow people to be built up by fame and recognition and our media only to watch it all be smashed, as these stars or celebrities life’s crumble and fall apart. It feels macabre that we allow this to happen, its almost like people take pleasure reading about the mess and drama that goes on in these celebrities life’s, maybe out of jealousy, it appears no different from the past in Rome at the coliseum with the gladiators killing each other as people watched for entertainment.

    3. It’s true Samantha, we put focus on a part of ourselves – so create separation in ourselves. This part can then become a part we measure against other people with, which is in complete separation to them too. Separation means that we do not embrace that we we are one whole as a being, and all one as humanity. Anything that encourages separation means that we do not embrace the love that we all equally are, and creates disharmony in this world we do live in.

    4. I recently watched a movie with my daughter about acting and we talked about the recognition that the actors get caught up in. It really is sad and nasty because they are never seen for who they are, and if they are themselves, they often get rejected as their fans want this made up version.

  4. Great points in this article. It really goes to show that it is about the quality of energy we bring to what we do, not just what we do. Being in a quality that is true, the whole of life is continually confirming back to us this fullness and the seeking of recognition falls away.

    1. From what you share Kate we can see how the quality we bring to everything we do in life has a crucial impact on our health and how we experience life.

    2. Beautifully said, Katechorley – the whole of life does confirm us back when we are in the glory of our innate essence. Recognition cannot hold a candle to this feeling, which is eternal, rather than the ephemeral quality of recognition, which needs to be constantly fed – such a ravenous beast, it is!

    3. One of my favourite things to remind myself of is “quality is key.” It holds a depth of power in how we express everything in life. The beauty in our quality is insurmountable. Thank you Kate.

    4. This is a very important point Kate, when we make life about what we do, how much we achieve and how much recognition and approval we receive, we are constantly under stress and tension which has a huge impact on our health and stops us from being present. In contrast to the joy of, simply being present with what we are doing, and still in our bodies, bringing quality to everything we do.

      1. Yes Thomas, I agree with what you share here, and as Kelly shared, ‘I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.’

      2. What you share in you comment I like very much – the question what came up to me is: why do we as human beings not all choose to live like this – “being simply present with what we are doing and still in our bodies, bringing quality to everything we do?” What made us chose this other not so pleasant way?

  5. Great sharing Kelly Zarb! To walk through life looking for acceptance and recognition outside of us does not work and we all know it, we hold everything we need inside of us and can fill ourselves with love to the brim, but we need reminding as the patterns to disract ourselves away from us are so ingrained in our society.

    1. Yes this is true Judith. Many have walked the path of searching for acceptance and this is a very lonely road to travel. Reminding ourselves and appreciating all that we are already, not from what we do but who we are already creates a new path. This sounds like a great path to me.

    2. It needs a constant reminder, that the need for acceptance is the wrong way. As soon as there is a need for something, we have given ourselves away to the wrong force.

    1. Yes Kate and art is meshed throughout our lives because we are all masterpieces just being who we are in connection with ourselves. Absolute magic.

      1. “We are all masterpieces just being who we are” Amazing truth. How beautiful world would have if we teach this at schools. If we see and value children for who they are rather than for what they do. If we encourage them to connect to their bodies and honour their feelings. If we support them to connect with their inner and natural creativity that is already there perfectly designed to be connected. Sadly this is not the case in the current educational system where following the norms about what art is the normal way to teach children to paint. The flowing and connection with true creativity is blocked in a very early ages to teach the next “The more you paint the best artist you are because you get more practice and recognition for it” In consequence the cases of anxiousness, depression, alcohol and drugs consumption…are increasing more and more. This facts are talking about that something is not so right and that maybe we have to question our current way of paint and live. The current way of teaching art is not supportive and inspiring in any way. Many struggles and suffering comes up as a result. It’s the time to consider another way of painting where we can take full responsibility about the quality of our expression and ourselves. It’s the time to re-develop a true school of art.

      2. “We are all masterpieces just being who we are” Amazing truth. How beautiful world would have if we teach this at schools. If we see and value children for who they are rather than for what they do. If we encourage them to connect to their bodies and honour their feelings. If we support them to connect with their inner and natural creativity that is already there perfectly designed to be connected. Sadly this is not the case in the current educational system where following the norms about what art is the normal way to teach children to paint. The flowing and connection with true creativity is blocked in a very early ages to teach the next “The more you paint the best artist you are because you get more practice and recognition for it” In consequence the cases of anxiousness, depression, alcohol and drugs consumption…are increasing more and more. This facts are talking about that something is not so right and that maybe we have to question our current way of paint and live. The current way of teaching art is not supportive and inspiring in any way. Many struggles and suffering comes up as a result. It’s the time to consider another way of painting where we can take full responsibility about the quality of our expression and ourselves. The time to re-develop a true school of art.

  6. Although it wasn’t ‘art’ for me, this blog is certainly one I could relate to as there have been many other things in life – including mothering and business – that I could equally substitute for art… and the sentence “I would use food as a distraction, to numb myself from the continual feeling of tiredness and anxiety I felt from the push to always be doing more” has equally rung true for me! I still sometimes get caught up in ‘doing more’ and also using food as a distraction, but am much more aware and willing to be honest about why, and when I am honest in this way, can feel that I ‘do more’ when I feel I’m not enough. Being aware of this is something that would not have been possible without introducing self-care and connection to myself, and provides me something to come back to when I feel myself pushing myself in this way for external reward or feedback, rather than the natural internal confirmation that comes when I connect to within.

    1. Yes – I find that learning the difference between and feeling the difference between pushing to do more, especially motivated by a need for external recognition and acknowledgement, and self confirmation through feeling my innate self is HUGE. When I find I have gone into ‘push’ I’m always amazed that I went back to that nonsense when self confirmation feels so lovely. These old patterns put up a fight to be discarded, but discarded they will be 🙂

      1. Yes, Coleen, pushing to do more requires us to disconnect from what we are feeling. By stopping for a moment to re-connect, we are guaranteeing the quality of our next task as it resets us back to a more loving way of being.

      2. This is one of the seemingly most challenging things for me I have observed. And it lies in this lack of appreciation and self confirmation of my own power. The push is always done with one eye on the ‘others’ seeing if they can see what is being done. Exposes the desire to get ahead rather than as Janet has explained – connecting and guaranteeing the quality of the next moment.

      3. Those wandering eyes, Lee: I know them well! Observing them, period, but especially with humour, works for me. A speedy return to quality is possible in the humour of the observation 🙂

    2. Yes Angela food was a big escape for me and to be honest I was never really hungry in these times it was more to stop myself from feeling just how unhappy and anxious I really was. because I was in constant motion I never really felt what was going on within me and the turmoil I was playing apart in. Now choosing to stop and see what’s really going on opens up a greater awareness and allows the opportunity for different choices to be made. There is always more to appreciate from being connected to ourselves and the learning that follows is huge.

      1. I must say that I was very creative in finding things to numb my feelings for example with art, pottery, sport, cooking, sewing, painting, singing, music, pets and more.

    3. It is ridiculous how complicated we make things when we are already everything we have ever wanted and looked for and so very much more!

    4. This is all very true Angela, the using food as a distraction, the looking for recognition, and the do do do doing was not something that I was aware of in the slightest way until I met Serge Benhayon and attended the Universal Medicine courses and the Way of the Livingness presentations. So appreciative of knowing what I know today and feeling enough just being me.

    5. Recently I have been more focused on what was there is front of me to do rather than how I lack presence and procrastinate, but what I have realised is there was a ‘pushing’ to get things done. Reading “… I ‘do more’ when I feel I’m not enough” is so true and a great reminder to deeply ponder on, offering me to connect to my self more deeply making the confirmation of the connection with my self priority and not the task at hand.

      1. So true Caroline – when we’re connected to ourselves, what we’re actually doing, and how much we get done, doesn’t matter so much because we’re enjoying the process and just being ourselves in what we’re doing. There’s a lightness, flow and ease. When we make it all about the task and getting it done, and we’re doing it from an emptiness, wanting the task to connect us to ourselves, there’s a drive and a determination that feels heavy and a slog.

  7. Amazing to see that how we live can often have the opposite effect to what we truly want…and ironically push what we truly want further away from us.

    1. Yes this is true Matthew. These decisions have come from our heads and not from our hearts. Anxiousness is a disconnection from what is true.

    2. I love it – this is so true, anxiousness can make a person completely unrecognisable. I know that I both feel a different person and make very different decisions when I am anxious. You are spot on.

      1. I agree Matthew is spot on. Since I got this insight I was much more aware of my different decision when I was anxious and this helped me to be more understandable with myself and that helped me not to be so hard with me and that I love very much.

    3. Of course, because when we are anxious, we are not ourselves anymore. It is like when we are anxious, we abandon ourself and are beside ourselves rather than within.

      1. Yes great point Rosie. The anxiety is running us and it is not us anymore. So then anything done in this energy comes laced with emotion. Quite yucky to feel.

  8. Awesome sharing, Kelly. I recall graduating Dux of one Uni course and then having the feeling that I had done and accomplished everything that had been asked and I still didn’t feel right. I had a couple of anxiety episodes in reaction to this and then went on to an intense fitness regime to numb my body in response to the huge internal agitation I felt. Universal Medicine was a couple of decades later for me……when it offered the understanding of what had occurred at that time.

    1. Yes Coleen24 it may be a couple of decades later, but your body knew that it was a beautiful choice to make. That’s what I love so much about our bodies, they hold the wisdom for all the answers in the world. A major appreciation for the wisdom and truth we all carry within.

      1. A lovely confirmation of our bodies, Kelly – in connection with our essence, they truly offer all the insight and wisdom we could ever need for this earth life.

  9. I had a clear sense of the time we miss away from our essence when we follow the socially prescribed routes to acknowledgement of our talents and achievements. We seriously need to be confirming the validity of ourselves in connection, without the need of recognition of what we do.

  10. Interesting how when we express from our essence, the expression serves everyone, as you share here, Kelly. In recognition there is only an empty acknowledgement of what we have done – and nothing for anyone else.

  11. The continuous drive to be recognised in ANY subject is exhausting, because we are telling ourselves that who we are is not enough – crazy when we are made from heaven, and all we could possibly be from our first breath.

  12. “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.” How true these words are Kelly, and for all of our expression, which is everything.

  13. Love the blog Kelly. “When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed.” I related to a lot of what you say but particularly this line. In my song writing I am finding this delicate relationship of having the impulse and then remaining open to feel what and how to express is a joy to unfold.

    1. Wow Tim that’s beautiful what you have shared here. Yes how exquisite is it when we allow the space for our expression in everything, be all it can be without holding back. Absolutely awesome. I would love to hear some of your songs one day.

  14. The pursuit of recognition is exhausting and as you found Kelly can also lead to pain or illness in the body. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offers us all is the knowing that all we ever need is already within, and that when we choose to honour and live that we no longer need recognition or anything from outside of ourselves.

      1. Not only is stopping underrated but society applauds all who are continuously busy, multitasking and achieving constantly. To begin to stop can often be a much bigger task than we realise as it is something that we have long forgotten how to do but once we do we reacquaint ourselves with it we quickly find how simple and powerful a tool it is.

  15. The ways in which we can chase recognition is many and varied even for one person. I know I have chased qualifications, skills, jobs, roles, social and sporting activities, behaviours, moods and even how I have been sick to gain recognition. I see people in hospital seek recognition through being sick. All of this seeking just keeps us away from meeting ourselves and we are so worth meeting.

    1. Recognition is ingrained in almost everything we do as you say Jennifer, and from a very young age we are praised for what we can do “great mark for maths’, “wow you can tie your shoe laces now”, “clever you, you are using a spoon all by yourself”. We forget the part of us that is perfect just as it is. We would not need recognition if we were seen and accepted for who we are, rather than what we do.

    2. This is fascinating, to realise how much effort we put in to seeking recognition. I am working on letting go of seeking recognition and to appreciate who I am. When I fully appreciate myself no recognition is needed. Amazing how powerful appreciation is.

  16. That outside recognition can be given but then it can be taken away. I was given a job once and I loved the recognition in it. When it finished I felt very low and realised how I had bought into it. Years later listening to Serge Benhayon, the things he said about searching for identification with outside pursuits rang so true because I had felt this in my body before. There are many ways to seek it and I am forever vigilant. Now I appreciate the qualities I have within me and know I am enough.

    1. Gorgeous Amanda. I feel that is key – understanding the qualities we embody and bring and value these, not the externalities of what we do. Even though what we do can be outstanding, what we do might not necessarily make anyone look twice either. But who we are and how we do what we do matters always.

  17. “My friends would always comment on how calm I always seemed, especially during exam periods or if we had a major assignment due, but internally I was a complete mess of nervous energy.” This is a very honest statement Kelly, people have often said how calm and realized I seem, but inside I have felt completely stressed and anxious, we learn to wear a mask so to speak a face that we want the world to see and believe about how we are, we even start believing this false way of being as our true selves.

    1. So true Thomas, we stray away so far from what we know is true in our hearts to become someone we are not. And we get bombarded with all of this attractions and the neediness from others and the neediness from ourselves that feeds this vicious cycle.

  18. “I realized that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognized for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” I felt the impact of what you shared Kelly, in needing recognition and approval from others in what I do with my work Etc., even when I get lots of recognition and praise it leaves me empty and unsatisfied as I am not being met for who I truly am, but also I have to ponder do I really let people in to see who I am, or am I playing roles and ticking boxes of what I think I should be to be loved and accepted?

    1. Great questions Thomas. There is no room for love to be truly felt or accepted when we are in constant drive for recognition.It is a losing battle.

  19. “I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.” Gorgeous Kelly, the love that we all are definitely deserves top marks, this idea takes away the loveless way we as humans push ourselves to achieve and gain recognition, I often feel when we celebrate people and their achievements, what we are actually saying is the more self abuse and pushing yourself you do, the more we will celebrate you, this makes no sense.

    1. ‘…the more self abuse and pushing yourself you do, the more we will celebrate you…’ Absolutely Thomas, this is the current set-up and how sad that is – self-abuse is rewarded and celebrated. This becomes easily apparent when you listen to, say, an athlete talk about their gruelling regime but the truth is we all do versions of this in our own way.

  20. When I read this: “I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” it came to me that YOU yourself are the art that is calling to be recognised and the person that needs to recognise it is you which is what you also say later in the blog and applies to all of us!

      1. That’s gorgeous. We are all living statues of David or portraits of Mona Lisa – reflections of heaven made real.

  21. A pretty clear example of how a talent may turn into our worst enemy in terms of truly evolving since we can hide behind it and no one will notice because we make us what we deliver. This is where we want people to stop and stay. Not a step forward please. Talents, however, can be re-imprinted for the best making them a true expression of our being.

    1. Beautiful said Eduardo and to add that when we are ‘ in it’ we don’t see clear anymore that we become our own enemy.

  22. Kelly, you have highlighted so beautifully just how much striving for recognition keeps from feeling our true worth. It’s a fact that we are all encouraged to strive to be recognised in some way or another, be it through excelling at sports, cooking etc or doing charitable things for others. There is a huge difference to be felt when we know that we are enough and can then bring that quality through in all that we do.

    1. Yes Brendon chasing recognition is a pressure vs. the joy in expressing the love that we feel is a contrast indeed. The end results communicate more than the eye can see and you definitely feel the difference.

  23. It is beautiful to read how your artwork can flow through your body when you are connected to your stillness within Kelly. What a difference from the way a lot of artwork is created. And how lovely for all that get to see and experience your artwork and feel the quality is was created in.

  24. ‘If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time.’ I’ve discovered, on returning to university to do a research degree, that a similar panic underpins researchers – the ever-present fear someone, somewhere else, has investigated your topic ahead of you. Hence the extreme narrowing down of topics – if you claim a particular space, hopefully no one else will get there ahead of you. This is just one of a multitude of pressures the research community lives by – and it’s not a good way to live.

    1. Yes Victoria it really is quite restricting on how we are in the world, when recognition is allowed to roam free. When we bring all of ourselves to everything we do, there is no room for judgement, comparison or recognition. What is needed is right there for us ready waiting. This is possible when we are connected to ourselves. That’s a pretty amazing way to study and really be in life.

  25. One thing I really appreciate about so many of these blogs is the exquisite honesty of their authors and of many of the subsequent repliers. We are all learning so much by sharing what is real for us without holding back. We are all bridging ourselves back to love. Thank you everyone!

    1. I love the honesty too Victoria. We are learning so much everyday from what is shared. Inspirational power houses everywhere.

  26. It’s interesting how early on we can seek recognition. I too went through seeking recognition through art (and art history) in high school. Good academically (but not extraordinary), not interested in sport or music and not quite prefect material, I honed in on the one thing I was reasonably good at. I also had a mother who had trained as an artist and used to get her to help me, passing our combined efforts off as solely my own. And this was all for a shot at the art prize! Suffice to say it never came my way on the occasions that was possible and did in indeed go to the girls who deserved it. Interesting to understand in later years, via work inspired by Universal Medicine, the dynamics behind this scenario.

  27. It strikes me the quest for recognition, for individuation, can start very young. Given young children lack the cognition to set their minds to the task of carrying out ambitious plans, this seems to me to indicate we come in to each life riding on the back of past momentums, patterns and tendencies. In other words, it indicates a truth about the reality of reincarnation.

  28. I was just imagining a world where we are all shining stars first and foremost, simply for being who we are. If we all felt that for ourselves, and of each other, there would be no need for distinction and competition. We would all be free to pursue our natural talents with no loading other than admiration for and support of each other’s expression. Thus there would be as much joy for the artist as the plumber as the CEO as the radiographer and so on. Much simpler, and much more lovely than our current state of affairs.

    1. Beautifully said Victoria – we all have natural talents, it is not about being good at something, but sharing the wealth of our talents, as our talents are shared and celebrated for the value it brings… it is not needed for self, but the joy to share with others, our communities….we are all pieces of one amazing jigsaw puzzle, and each piece is equally important to all the others…without that piece, it is incomplete.

  29. Yes Kelly it’s a very different experience when we work to produce under the pressure we self impose. When we paint from an impulse and a love the results reflect a very different feeling picture.

    1. The paintings reflect the light we hold within ourselves because the painting has been expressed from us for everyone. I recently cleared out all of my old artworks and many of them felt quite yucky and held a lot of emotion. To be able to now feel the difference to how art can be expressed is huge.

      1. Most artists literally painting their emotions on a canvas and this inevitably adds more weight to the art than any ordinary scale can pick up.

      2. Art was also a subject I was good at and it gave me the recognition I so wanted, so much so that I have kept the art work I did at high school. Reading Kelly’s comment made me feel so uncomfortable and I began to shed a few tears! Even though the art work I did back then was laced with emotions, especially sadness, there is still an attachment to the work, an attachment to the recognition. Thank you Kelly for sharing and giving me an opportunity to look at how art and myself was playing out back then and how I have avoided painting ever since.

      3. I have come to realise that holding onto something that does not support me harms, not only myself, but others too. A healing occurs when I let it go – it is such a loving thing to do for myself.

      4. “To be able to now feel the difference to how art can be expressed is huge.” I loved reading the appreciation Kelly has for herself in where she is today, supporting and inspiring me to deepen my appreciation for my self.

  30. ​Gold star from me too Kelly Zarb! Come to the office and collect it! On a serious but an extremely play-full note (LA-LA-LA !!), how many of us owe what we now know to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Living life has not been the same. I remember when Serge presented, in the love that I knew, that I Am a Son of God. I could not argue, defend or deny what he energetically revealed. It was the answer I was deeply seeking. Yes, I had major issues with God and religion, but it was the best ever news to know I was home again !!!

    1. I too had issues with God and religion before Universal Medicine and I have only recently been saying to myself throughout my days ” I am a son of God,” and the knowing and power I feel once the words leave my mouth is magic. A beautiful homecoming indeed Rik.

  31. Very lovely Kelly – ‘ I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.’

  32. There is a responsibility that we each have to be a part of expression on earth, wether that be through the images, the words, or the movements we make. All of life is an expression of either who we are, or who we would like to be seen to be. One is confirming of everyone, and the other is a singular act that leaves us all with less.

  33. You show what we do to ourselves and how we affect everyone else when we create anything for just ourselves and our own status by seeking recognition, Kelly. A gold star for Love, that is so perfect, co-creation with Love includes us all and there are no medals for the individual.

  34. To read the words If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time. Without art, who was I in this vast world? ‘ made me aware of something I didn’t realize before and that is that doing art can be experienced as an golden ticket of belonging. Now you said so I can place that by the way I know some ‘ art’ people. It helps to have a deeper understanding. Thank you Kelly. And great you could bring the art to a new more true level which then can bring service to the receiver.

    1. I can feel this resonates for me as well sylvianbrinkman – not in art but in jobs where I have sought promotions and acceleration up the proverbial ladder. There is a lack of integrity here identified too for the art, the work whatever it maybe is tainted with needs.

    2. Yes Syliva, “great you could bring the art to a new more true level which then can bring service to the receiver.” When we get caught up in the intellectualisation of art, a head stimulation, we miss the power of what art can truly bring into our homes, our galleries…it can bring inspiration as the artist brings the expression of their essence to the form…a reminder that each of us have the same power in different experiences!

  35. I remember a few years ago sharing with a friend an artists about my new awareness about how everything we create comes with a certain energy and to feel the differences between paintings in my house. I could clearly feel that they all was not made from a loving place. They all was made by emotions. So they just fill your house with more emotions then the ones you live already from yourself. I could clearly see how they where not supporting me even they looked beautiful. I took them all out and threw them away. Because I didn’t want to pollute others with that. My friend could feel all I meant and was in shock. She started to understand that all she made was not doing good for the world, just adding to the drama and emotions. And that there was and is another choice. To take self out of the way, to re-connect to the love within her and express from there in art. She was very honest and said she needed time because it ment she had to say goodbye to all her art made by her and a lot of money was involved. She was very honest about the truth the work Serge Benhayon presents and that to make true changes demands from us to let go of things, attachments which can be challenging sometimes but very much worthwhile 🙂

    1. That’s awesome that you could share that with your friend Sylvian. When truth is felt in the body it can be quite challenging for many but that is cool. When they are ready that one seed of truth can germinate and grow over time with care and patience. Art like anything can hold a lot of need and emotions from the artist, so the attachment to the work is very strong, speaking from my own experiences. But now making art is purely about being with myself in that moment, I enjoy mixing paint colours and to see what unfolds from there. It really is just opening up a new way to see and express art today.

      1. “… making art is purely about being with myself in that moment…” – these words are so healing helping me to let go of the ideals and beliefs I took on around what art ‘should’ be to fit in with those around me. I can feel the joy in my body that has always been there but never felt as there was so much anxiousness in my body whenever I produced art.

      2. Recently my children played around with mixing colours asking me what colours made other colours. They had so much fun and so did I. The experience made me stop to realise and appreciate how much I loved mixing colours without being under pressure to paint. Reading Kelly’s comment has helped me to confirm this.

  36. Growing up art was all I every wanted to do, there were no other thoughts about any other career, right from primary school. Yet I found the art world a cold, unloving, place to be, that is wasn’t about people or true expression, but actually about abuse, elitism, competition and drive. People were ridiculed and dismissed if they didn’t fit into the current trend, or the next big thing. I also found it could also be a way to be demoralized if you are not into contemporary art and are just there because you love to paint. I worked in many areas of the arts, from lecturing, gallery installs , exhibitions and working at a world famous Arts Biennale, all of which felt the same to me – false, loveless and empty.. All this a far cry from what I know true expression to be which is the ability to express straight from your heart and Soul, where there is no need for competition, recognition or acceptance.

  37. I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. I love this line Kelly, reminding us to appreciate the value of our own exquisite love first before anything else, as our love is enough, our love is everything.

  38. Kelly this is a very light hearted and beautiful blog that brought inspiration and an enormous smile to my face. Your expression in words is also an art, as it is from your essence.

    ….”I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.” I would love an art work of yours in my home anytime!

  39. Kelly what you have shared here shows how we can live in a way that puts a lot of pressure on ourselves, where we use our talents, or even failures (so to speak) to get recognition and a sense of worth that we belong to our community, whether it be family, a club, the school classroom, our work place, anywhere, everywhere. We loose connection to the inner value, our natural richness within, and forsake this for the outer to confirm who we are….this becomes very exhausting. Such a joy when we realise – ‘hang on, its all here in me, I am naturally amazing and its actually TRUE!’

  40. I have witnessed many people go through art school and been there myself, who are completely disillusioned when they get there. Having spent their whole childhood loving art and it being all they ever wanted to do when gearing up, to then often being met with a complete lack of care and disregard for people and their expression. Many people feel like giving up, and do – and not just in the art sense, art colleges are rife with drug and alcohol abuse. So may people feel or have felt that everything they enjoyed about being creative got squashed at art school. For example those who love simply drawing and painting are often told their work is boring and they need to make it more interesting or contemporary, with the emphasis being on the current trend which may be, very conceptual and hence their work is marked on the assessors personal preference rather than their work being appreciated and nurtured for what it is.

    1. Yes this is very true what you have shared here Gyl. Many artists today have been assessed and pushed and pulled into something that is far from what is true, to be recognised and have their work loved by others. The one fundamental element that is really missing is their own connection and acceptance of self. This is where true art lies.

    2. Gyl the other facet of being an artist is unless you have a reputation and your signature deemed of value, most people do not look to feel the work on face value, they have been conditioned to think of art as an investment so most artists strive to create an image and reputation that is saleable. This is a trap as there is no free expression in painting to please the buyer. I now paint freely and in whatever direction I feel impulsed and the comments I have received reflect this as people say they can feel I the joy in my work.

  41. “But what was I taking on in my body from these endless pursuits to be seen” if you look at many famous artists dead and alive their health, well being and lives are / were a mess, you can see this reflected through their body, face and eyes.

  42. There is so much emotional turmoil in art and this is championed, celebrated and seen as something great to wallow in and express, The ‘ideal’ romantic picture that has been painted and fed to us of an ‘artist’ throughout the years, from either living in little paris apartments, the glamour of hanging out with all the cool artists and people or struggling, poverty stricken with so much emotion and passion, trying to get us to sympathise with them, then making it big. Both are trying to create some sort of false identity, an illusion, and a means for many to escape – it may be from hurts, sadness, emptiness and or just not liking what they feel around them growing up.

  43. “to be honest with myself and my body.” isn’t it amazing how all the answers we want can come with such simplicity and ease by choosing love and listening to our body – full stop. Yet we as a society spend so much time, money, effort and energy on complicating things, searching outside ourselves, even on others planets for the answers to everything, there’s a constant franticness and motion of looking for the next thing, the next face cream, the new weight loss plan, health food, solution to all our problems and woes, personal and as a society, yet the simple answer has been presented to us for the past 12 years by Serge Benhayon, and right throughout history by many others as well. It seems to me that we as a world are running away from what deep down we all want the most … love.

  44. Yes Kelly I would love to see your artwork. In high school I did a similar thing but with rowing. I didn’t even enjoy rowing very much, and I would always have some part of my body that was sore from this, but it was what the ‘popular, cool’ kids did and that is how I wanted to be seen, that was how I gained my recognition. I had to make sure I stayed good enough to stay on the team each year. Thanks for sharing Kelly.

  45. This is a great expose of how we can get caught up in what we do, looking for recognition rather than knowing we are enough first and foremost.

    1. ‘Knowing we are enough’ is a worldwide epidemic as hardly anyone knows who they are when they are stripped from their identifications, roles, various hats and accolades. This is a rather large concept to grasp for many and yet extremely simple once one has returned to the inner feeling and sense of ‘completion’ that already exists in our connection to our inner heart.
      We hold a knowing that beats all thoughts and an absoluteness about the ‘enough’ we are truly all worth, all the time.

  46. Isn’t it amazing to recognise that fact that when we are doing things for the external world to justify our existence, we are ignoring the amazing love that we are on the inside. Simply through reconnecting to ourselves through breathing gently we no longer need to seek recognition from others and can just be joyful in whatever we do knowing how amazing we are, because it is there to be felt in everyone.

  47. Dear Kelly that was a very exposing blog – you showed that if we only looking for recognition we are not living our truth. I love your honest question: “What quality was I really bringing to my art?” How would our art look like if this question would be asked by all artists around the world????

    1. Thank you Esteraltmiks. “What quality was I really bringing to my art?” What I love about this question is that it can be applied to all areas of our lives not just art but everything. It really comes down to the quality we do everything in life including simple daily jobs like sweeping the floor or folding our laundry. It really brings our connection with ourselves to the forefront.

      1. That is a great reply Kelly and I can feel what you mean by what you have shared in your amazing comment. It is all about how I do things instead of what and how much I do.

  48. There is a HUGE difference between doing something to be recognised and doing an activity from the self-acceptance and honour of who we are. The truth is that when we forget or don’t know the divinity and depth of love that we are, we are left floundering in a sea of hurt and thus seek love from somewhere (anywhere) external.

  49. Kelly I could feel the difference in your being by reading your blog and what an immense difference you must feel while doing art now. What once seemed like a burden now shines light through you – what a gift.

  50. There are so many people, as Kelly so clearly expresses, that are looking calm on the outside, and develop this ‘look’ but there is havoc within…. And eventually what is within always is revealed on the outside.

  51. Kelly the choices you have made in your life are deeply inspiring to read, when we begin to truly love and care for ourselves any need we had for recognition from the outside begins to naturally fall away as we embrace the qualities and beauty within.

    1. Yes Anna its the need that keeps us caught in a damaging cycle of control and recognition to reign havoc. Letting go of this need allows ourselves to revel in the beauty we hold within. We then have the space to breathe and be exactly who we are without the pressure to be doing all the time to reach a destination that we can never really get to.

  52. Having the awareness we are already completely takes the need for recognition or approval away, and with this knowledge comes the freedom of carrying out tasks from our essence without any attachments of approval outside of ourselves

  53. I too used art to escape, in my teens it was all about fantasy art and going into a world where my problems did not exist (or that’s the lie I ran with as the issues and emotions and not feeling good enough remained). The online art world is a great place to hide and at 13 this is where it really took off, the drive and striving to get ‘likes’ and ‘favourites’ and ‘comments’ is like a drug, a great momentary hit, relief and recognition. I’ve never really stopped and reflected on this drive to be liked by what I do that spanned over 13/14 years (if not starting earlier) but it makes sense as the more I am listening to my body the more this drive can be felt. The drive itself feels disturbing yet the lie on top defends and justifies it’s existence, but the body is great in saying that defend and justify all you want, it’s still not true. There is more to this I can feel, Thank you Kelly.

  54. Kelly this is a very useful piece for us all, to see how we invest in outer pursuits, whatever flavor they take for us, in lieu of being the precious beings that we are and living our talents from there. Re-kindling a life from this inner connection takes time and lots of letting go, with absolute self-honesty about how we have been living so that the gloriousness of our stillness can be the new foundation for our action. It feels like you have found that in your Art and what a blessing that is for us all to receive the beauty of you in your work.

    1. Beautifully expressed Emma. Yes that is the divine truth for us all. Our bodies are our forever teachers and healers all rolled into one grand package. Thank you.

  55. I was also obsessed with getting A+’s. In fact, in my school, we had A+++’s! I’m not sure it was a good thing that I got them so often because it became an expectation I had on myself to always get them, to always be perfect. Thank goodness I have seen the error in the belief that anything can ever in fact be perfect. These days, it’s all about quality and rhythm, expressing me in whatever it is I do.

  56. Recognition takes on many forms , art was not mine but incessant doing was. as you say it is not about the painting or anythings else but the true value of anything lies in the quality of expression and presence that is brought through us to what we are doing.

  57. Thank you Kelly for sharing your unfolding path as you shared, it really is peeling one layer off at a time. Which reveals all that beauty and love that resides in us all and we can all agree the more loving and precious we are with ourselves, the more inner beauty is released for all to see and feel. Great sharing.

  58. A vivid description of the impact we can have on the body when we go into strive and drive instead of knowing we are always enough as we already are.

  59. Kelly, thank you for your story. If anyone has RSI (repetitive strain injury) there is the answer in your story. Doing a repetitive action devoid of the loving self. Living and working in this way could not be good for us.

  60. Thank you for sharing, the way we are investing in what we do and craving recognition from this is incredibly draining on our body. While we are so much more and living this, who we truly are, is the most amazing support we can give ourselves.

  61. What a huge difference we experience in our body when we express looking for recognition instead of expressing our true essence. This blog is a great showing of this.

  62. When we want to be recognized for what we do we completely forget that the quality that we do everything in is the most important ingredient of the true art of everyday life.

  63. Thank you Kelly for sharing your experience in an open and so honest way. I can very much relate what you shared about painting with anxiousness. When I finish my Illustration career I started to develop a style which was accepted by many people. I started to receive the recognition for that and then I felt pleased and encouraged to paint more in this way. I wanted to be seen and show to everyone my worth. I valued myself based in what I could paint along the day. If I didn’t I judged and pushed myself to draw more and more. I felt quite sad and uninspired inside but I still chose this way of living thinking that it was the only one possible. I lived in this way of creating until I started to suffer insomnia and anxiousness. To cope with this uncomfortable feeling I used to drink alcohol as a way to relieve. But the things became worse and then I started to see that my body was crying out for something else. With the support of some estoteric healing practioners I could start to take full responsibility of my body and make changes in my life. It was so beautiful for me to realize how my body started to regenerate. The more I made loving choices the more my life became wonderful again. I started to feel more vital and joyful and then I stopped to draw in the way that I used to. I allowed myself the space to feel again and to reconnect with my inner and natural creativity. For me today it’s a constant unfolding and developing where I’m be able to observe where I am at in every moment and in connection with my body I draw or paint, not to get the recognition but to bring all of me to the world through my creative expression.

  64. I can relate to getting and craving recognition for what I do as that has been a big one for me too. Recognition is like a pot with a hole in it – you can never fill it up as it just leaks away and we need more and more to counteract the flow out. Now that I know that I am complete already and I just need to appreciate and express I do not seek recognition in the same way. There is no leakage from the wholeness that I am – I am always full -it is just sometimes that I don’t connect and live fully from this special place.

  65. If I feel into recognition it feels very hollow and insubstantial, not a firm foundation to build a life upon, yet once we sell out to it, we guarantee that the continual need for it will own us.

  66. Great line Kelly about striving for recognition “…I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” This really brings home the futility and reality of recognition, and how it’s up to us to stop that painful cycle, and realise it’s ok to simply be ourselves and that we are enough.

  67. Unfortunately most people think that they can push their body and just keep pushing without any consequences… The thing is that our body will eventually always reflect back to us what we have been putting on it or imposing upon it, and we see the results of this all throughout society.

  68. The flow of stillness in our body feels exquisite. When we live with this level of stillness, everything we do comes with ease and quality. This allows the spaciousness to be felt in our body and our movements then reflect this quality of stillness that is simply magical.

  69. ‘I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.’ And is all there is to inspire another to connect to who they are.

  70. Beautiful blog Kelly, and I love what you shared about honesty: it’s only when we’re honest with ourselves that we can start to recognise and let go of old patterns and choices that don’t support us and aren’t part of who we truly are.

    1. Yes Bryony for it is the honesty that allows for a deeper commitment to how we are living and gives us the space to be who we truly are. Thank you.

  71. I am finding that it is not about the end results and how well it looks whatever that may be but the quality of energy I have chosen to do it in and then however it turns out, it simply doesn’t matter.

    1. Hi Caroline yes I love the word quality for what it embodies is a way to move and connect with the soul that reflects such love. It is infectious for us all and deeply inspiring.

  72. So the strive and drive to be recognised for art is no different to running a marathon that leaves you exhausted, drained and with damage to the physical body.

  73. We have all found our own way, our own ‘fixes’ to get that recognition haven’t we? There is so much familiarity of an old way in what you share in this blog and yet there is a different way to be with ourselves that means we don’t look out to the world for acceptance and recognition at all. The more we look after our bodies the more this connection builds to a solid foundation.

  74. Art either evolves or we try to replicate an image we have, I loved your question ‘What quality was I really bringing to my art?’ We so often get lost in the doing we forget about the quality of ourselves, and is the quality that is reflected in the piece of art. When we take the quality of our Livingness to what we do there is no need for images as something can naturally unfold, the art becomes an expression of your lived quality that is then reflected to all those who look at it.

  75. Kelly, the art which will, or has already “flowed from the stillness of your body” will be your true expression and therefore will be a blessing to mankind.

  76. I love that with honesty you were able to let go of all you were seeking through your art, let go of who you were not and connect to who you are to then express that in not only your art but all you do. Stunning.

  77. “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.” Such a profound change from where you were Kelly. So many of us have been inspired by Serge Benhayon’s reflection and love for us all, allowing us to make true choices for our lives. Thankyou for sharing your story which many can relate to – if not with art – maybe with sport, music, academia etc.

  78. Thank you Kelly – I have seen your artwork and it really does inspire me to express in my own unique way. This line gives me a lot to ponder “I wanted to be seen and honoured for my art, not for the truly amazing young woman I was within.” How often do we seek recognition for what we do rather than confirm who we already are? I am beginning to see that this is actually a calculated choice because on a level we are afraid to be seen. We avoid confirmation of our natural gloriousness and instead seek recognition for what we produce and do in an effort to get by and survive all in the name of protection.

  79. Thank you Kelly for sharing you experience and insights into how the incessant frenetic seeking of recognition through knowledge leave us only at a loss as to who we truly are, feeling an enormous gap with a lack of fulfilment and underlying buzz of anxiousness and exhaustion. And, when we are simply are in connection to who we are there is no need to be anywhere, achieve anything or seek to attain any gratification, as the richness of our essence far surpasses anything that could ever be acquired from the created world outside of ourselves.

  80. What a turnaround not just in your health but in the way you approach your art and I love how you express how you are now ‘When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone.’ Rather than the constant striving to be recognised for what you do you now appreciate the value of what you offer to others which is lovely to feel.

  81. One day we will all be awarding ourselves A+ in appreciation of all we offer to others by being truly ourselves.

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