The Beauty of Being Honest

A few days ago I woke up feeling very light, rejuvenated and relaxed… and it was only 2am. I realised that this was exactly the same feeling that I had gone to bed with the day before. I had not specifically done things differently, but had simply been very honest with myself, letting myself not be guided by my thoughts or knowledge, but by what I was feeling.

Well, I have to say that in fact I always knew what would have been a wise choice for the next steps in my life, but have often let myself be guided by anxiety or by the wish to avoid things which seemed challenging or difficult to me so I have walked a different path. These paths never carried me off track totally but looking back, some proved to be quite a detour.

Whenever there was a decision to be made, there was at first a clear feeling deep inside of me about what to do, but then I would let a spiral of thoughts kick in, pretending that I was evaluating and analysing the situation from every angle. In truth, I was just constructing arguments to defend against the world and myself, something that had already been decided long ago.

Only since the last few days has it become really obvious to me that we have exactly one chance to make a decision, and that chance is the moment we meet a question or situation for the first time. Here we can either say “yes” or “no”.

As soon as we start thinking, checking or evaluating, we have already said “no” – though this will not mean that we will not meet this situation again in a similar or different form – especially if it is something very profound for us to learn.

The difference is, that if we are prepared to choose instantly, it will be with ease, and then naturally the next choice will present itself. Anything other than choosing in that moment means we are simply delaying ourselves.

Such decisions can only come from honesty and self-love. As honesty and self-love are not something we just leave sitting in a drawer waiting for the next moment we may need them, the most loving choice is to implement them into our daily rhythm and apply them to all the small moments that make up our lives.

Once implemented, this love for ourselves will support us in holding ourselves in the more difficult moments in our lives and will set us free to stay independent of what others might expect us to do. The fascinating aspect about this process of making choices is that nothing is exactly the same and it all unfolds from one moment to the next – depending on how and what we have chosen before.

For example, in one moment it can be better to eat something that I feel I am craving, although I know that it is not really good for me. This is loving in so far as the enormous amount of tension and hardness I would have to bring to my body to not eat it would be even worse. On the one hand it is more loving to not beat ourselves up for not being perfect, yet at the same time being prepared to look at why there has been this food craving in the first place, and start working on that. Then there are other moments, where saying “no” if some part inside me wants to just gulp down more and more food is much more supportive than giving in to the craving; these are usually the moments where I only want to eat to not feel what is there to be felt.

Very often what we want to avoid is the pain of old hurts. Avoiding them means that we will not have to be honest and take the necessary steps to heal them – steps that might often seem quite big and uncomfortable at first. Saying clearly “no” in these situations has helped me to really feel the pain that had previously been buried inside of me for quite some time, and from there begin to heal it.

My findings from the last 1½ years of honest observation:

  • The more difficult doing something feels to me, or the more challenging someone seems to be, the more there is for me to discover; usually something that is sitting deep within which I am resisting looking at because I don’t want to know what I could learn from this person or situation.
  • If I choose honesty, those seemingly huge tensions usually just fade away and something deep inside begins healing very simply and profoundly.
  • The choice for honesty and letting go of my comfort has brought stillness and simplicity to my life again. It has let me shine again with the same beauty and ease that I can well remember from my early childhood.
  • I have met many moments where I felt that the world would explode if I chose to go with what I felt and to express it, only to realise that instead of an explosion there was usually nothing but total relaxation.

Honesty creates space and frees us from the need to play a role.

The world is as simple as we felt it was when we were children, just living every moment in the day, not experiencing anxiety about our lives or our future: a time when joy was as natural to us as breathing in and out.

The world is a wonderful playground to discover ourselves playfully, nurture ourselves and evolve; a place where we can joyfully connect with ourselves and others, to discover even more together and constantly grow.

Honesty, Self-love, Truth and Beauty – such a joy to have chosen them again.

By Michael Kremer, Personal Assistant, Buchholz, Germany

Further Reading:
Truth
Writing In a Journal and The Power of Honesty
Listening to My Body and Honouring My Feelings

1,598 thoughts on “The Beauty of Being Honest

  1. Being honest with ourselves is choice that offers us a moment of deeper connection and a opportunity to realise how much more loving it is to be honest than to lie to ourselves and others.

  2. The times when I choose not to be honest with myself I feel stuck and have dug my heels in, when I am honest there’s an opportunity to self-reflect and bring a deeper understanding to myself and others.

  3. I agree with you that the more difficult a situation seems then there is more for me to unravel and discover about myself and what I’m holding back on by not wanting to truly understand what is going on. It has been so easy to pretend to misunderstand a situation stay in the comfort of that than to express what I feel which would be to grow and expand.

  4. Just being open to being honest was a huge thing for me, and now what I get to feel is that if I am struggling with something, instead of jumping to the answer, by being willing to be honest I start to get clarity on the topic. It all comes from honesty in my body first, how something makes me feel.

  5. I love what you share about eating something rather than denying yourself that food as it causes enormous tension in the body. Much better to be honest about where we are at and deal with the consequences of that, than pretend you are somewhere you are not.

    1. I have denied myself a certain food, even though I wanted it only to find some time later I went back to have it! It is true, better to be honest and accept where we are at than to jump ahead of yourself.

  6. Honesty arrives us at truth, the place where our true self resides. It is the great reckoning that paves the way for the great humbling so that this change can occur.

  7. Anxiety and exhaustion are the undisclosed, unadmitted plague within humanity at the moment and this shows the lack of honesty we are willing to go to about what is truly going on and how we are all truly feeling within ourselves

  8. So often I find my body saying “Yes” before I’ve had a chance to really compute the full meaning of this response. I know now that I don’t need to know everything about life, but just stay connected to my body, open hearted and aware and the part I can play in any given situation gracefully presents itself. If I find myself going into reasons, explanations and trying to make something work, it’s a definite signal that I’m on the wrong track. The trick then is in recognising the nudge of course and getting some help to get back on.

  9. It is true that when a situation seems difficult to us that there is more to evolve from and is in fact, an opportunity to grow out of what has a hold on us. Avoiding situations because they are uncomfortable to us only causes further complications and ultimately, we will meet the situation again – so, we may as well deal with them as and when they are presented.

    1. We are masters of complicating life and avoiding what we need to deal with. Learning to be open to what is next is crucial to evolution.,

  10. ‘….if we are prepared to choose instantly, it will be with ease, and then naturally the next choice will present itself. Anything other than choosing in that moment means we are simply delaying ourselves.’ I have made a lot of detours to delay what I knew to be true but was not willing to go to. Now I say yes more often and I must say it makes me less tired and more alive when I choose to be honest.

  11. “As soon as we start thinking, checking or evaluating, we have already said “no” ”
    Wow love the clarity in this – its so true we may think we are still on track but the moment we are indecisive we are way off.

  12. I think something key is that we can’t not make a decision – it’s always either a yes to something or a no (which means a yes to something else) and being discerning is something we can keep being aware of and developing all the time, as we go, and with honesty can learn if we said yes to the ‘right’ thing…

  13. ‘Honesty creates space and frees us from the need to play a role’ This in itself banishes any complexity and allows simplicity to reign. The more honest we are the more freedom we have to be ourselves and the level of playfulness, lightheartedness and joy is all the greater.

  14. Detouring is hard, constant work. It requires a lot of consistency in moving in avoidance of what we know is the next step. ‘Fortunately’ for us, the more we detour, the more grounds we have to keep detouring. Detouring is not just taking another road but also excusing yourself from going there. ‘Fortunately’, also, there are many travel companions that confirm us detouring. Honesty just requires to surrender to what we feel and to be with ourselves as we move. So, two ways of moving, one that creates layers that isolate you from your truth and the other which refreshes life.

  15. Beautiful blog that lightens my heart Michael.
    The sentence ‘Anything other than choosing in that moment means we are simply delaying ourselves.’ is so true and keeps us light too.

  16. “The more difficult doing something feels to me, or the more challenging someone seems to be, the more there is for me to discover; usually something that is sitting deep within which I am resisting looking at because I don’t want to know what I could learn from this person or situation” Michael this comment ring true too for at present and I can feel that what you have said here about resisting looking at something deeper is also very true and I can certainly feel this for myself. Thank you for highlighting this.

  17. Honesty and humbleness are the hallmarks of a true philosopher who is then able to open the door into the truth of all things.

  18. Lying to ourselves is actually such an effort even though it may often seem like an easy way out of a situation. Honesty simplifies what we humanly experience. We may have taken steps away from truth but accepting where we are at with no judgement is a foundation we cannot afford to be without.

  19. Michael there is so much wisdom in this blog, and I love your overarching theme that when we choose to be honest and begin to explore the truth of what is really going on it begins to ease the tension we feel in life – could it be that our honesty is of paramount importance to our ability to feel settled?

  20. This is a great article about stepping up to the challenges which can be a part of life, seeing them as lessons instead, and opportunities to learn.

  21. Today I spoke with a friend and was probably the most honest I had been for a while. Trying to hide things through shame or guilt does not serve. The beautiful thing is that by being honest I got to a greater truth and felt liberated from all the things I was trying to hide.

  22. The freedom of expressing with ourselves or others from a place of honesty (and I mean absolute honesty, not suitable truth!) what we feel is there to express leaves our bodies with space to understand so much more, like why we feel anxious, what we might be feeling in ourselves or from others.

  23. Wow, if making a choice is that quick it is worth laying a foundation in our body that can means we can make choices that are in line with what really supports our body rather than enter battle zone with resisting temptation!

  24. It is interesting to read this again this morning as I thought I was pretty good at being honest but there is a situation that I have not wanted to address and I can see it has caused complication. As I start another day I have an opportunity to have another go – no perfection needed but to stop the recurrence of this energy I need to bring my all, be transparent and allow the full strength of who I am to be present in my meeting, not a person who is unsure of whether the other person ‘gets them’ or not!

  25. Decisions can be simple and easy, so long as we are also willing to hear the feedback or reading on them if it perhaps wasn’t a true decision. It is, therefore, all a constant learning and development and part of being a student of life. To delay is to say no to the learning.

  26. So often it feels scary to be honest yet discover when I am truly honest I wonder why I was scared in the first place as there is always such a feeling of relief and release afterwards.

  27. Honesty opens us up to the truth of any matter and creates the space for us to learn that truth and watch it unfold.

  28. Honesty is such an essential part of developing decency and respect, and that honesty begins with ourselves. When we are open to how we truly feel we can make decisions based on that honesty, which helps preserve our connection to our essence – the true person we are.

  29. It is true the fear of expressing and possible potential reactions to what is shared is always way more scary than when something is simply expressed.

  30. The beauty of being honest is that we open up our awareness to understand and claim the truth of what we innately know within our body.

  31. “If I choose honesty, those seemingly huge tensions usually just fade away and something deep inside begins healing very simply and profoundly.” Honesty is huge in what it simply offers, freedom from the tension of holding back and not sharing honestly with ourselves and others. It is easier to accept being honest when we realise the healing that is offered instead of going into blame and guilt.

  32. It is so refreshing and healing to be this honest with ourselves. It is worth taking the time to look at every little thing in our lives and everything that comes our way and being honest about how we feel and what we are doing. There is so much to look at and so much growth available if we are willing to look.

    1. I am realising that this never ends, and the importance of paying attention to the small stuff helps when we come to the big stuff. At which point you realise it is all just stuff and there was never anything big or small about any of it!! It simply just was.

  33. The more I am aware and the more I notice I can’t help but feel that everything lies in the ability to be completely present and available to the energy of the universal intelligence, love, and in that everything is possible.

    1. Mary when I first heard this from Serge Benhayon it was like, that is way to hard, and now today I appreciate deeply what was offered as it now allows me to make sense of life.

  34. I love the depth of honesty and simplicity of it all about saying yes to the moment we are in – no delay, no delay.

  35. Like the sun shining in our window, honesty just is. So why do we choose to put up blinds and shutters to obscure this simplicity? Surrender, whatever the weather and you will be aware and looked after – ignore and you are likely to get swept up in a storm. Thank you Michael.

  36. ” Whenever there was a decision to be made, there was at first a clear feeling deep inside of me about what to do, ”
    This is so true and just amazing , we always have a clear understanding as to what needs to be done. But then the question changes ” do we want to do it “.

  37. Imagine a bird avoiding what it is here to do, and using its time to watch TV instead. Surely it wouldn’t feel good! But isn’t that just as absurd as what we do? It’s like we will do anything except for what we know is truly important, but then get surprised when we don’t feel so well at the end. Your honesty Michael makes me inspired to embrace what is before me today.

  38. A group of us were recently discussing the moment where you feel the absolute truth of something, then go into lots of complication and doubt about what you have felt. The moment of truth feels so clear and pure and settled in your body but we dismiss or dishonour that. We spoke of how important it is to keeps appreciating and confirming these feelings of truth so when they are presented, we will say ‘of course’ instead of ‘why me? I can’t do that’.

    1. Yes and to be able to appreciate what we knew or that we knew and not go into the regret of missed opportunities because we did not follow through and complete with our embracing of that knowingness..

  39. Honesty is an inward movement and a moment where we stop pretending and trying to look good. It opens a window for others to see us. There is no expectations, no games being played. It is what it is and that what it is helps another one to align with us if so they wish.

    1. Eduardo I love your beautiful use of words in your description of honesty being an inward movement, It feels very powerful and deeply reflective when we consider what it really is truly about.

  40. We don´t know how much we are lying before we discover the levels of honesty that we need to go to, to uncover the layers of dishonesty and finally return to the only one truth we have strayed away from. Honesty is the path to truth and thus it needs to be understood and appreciated for what it is but never be confused for being the truth.

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