Stopping Un-favoured Feelings – Choosing Love Over Anxiousness

Having just read a great blog on anxiousness, I was struck by what the writer (Carmin Hall) was saying – that you can’t just block out one feeling and expect to feel others: it’s like saying you don’t want to see the colour green but you do want to see all those other colours you like, which of course wouldn’t work as the only real way to avoid seeing green would be to operate in a monochrome world – so no green, but no blue or pink either.

It’s obvious, yet I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.

I recently listened to The Way of The Livingness #26 delivered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and one of the things that jumped out at me was that everything passes through every body. So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us, and crucially, even those who have developed a greater consistency, understanding and awareness in how they live, also have these feelings available to them.

So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favour. For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.

For me feeling this has been huge as it’s highlighted that it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make. So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?

It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.

This has changed my perspective completely; it makes it more about an on-going consistency – a marathon rather than a sprint. And it also introduces humility; to know that those I deeply respect, admire and who greatly inspire me, such as modern day philosopher Serge Benhayon and his family, are no different from me and they have access to the same feelings or emotions as I do – frustration, anxiety, anger, love or joy – but how they live allows them to more clearly see the loving choice.

They are not special, but they choose to live in a way that is committed to ensuring that how they express and live is with absolute love and integrity, and I too have access to that at any time – I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.

There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.

Having this understanding has inspired me to see that I am not any frustration or anxiety I feel. I can choose to be tender in how I am with me in any moment and so increasingly my choices are more loving for me and with others.

I would not be where I am today without the work I’ve done to address the anxiousness of how I’ve lived and the changes I’ve since made to be more gentle, tender and loving with me. Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.

And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.

Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.

By Monica Gillooly, London, UK

Further Reading:
Love
What Causes Anxiousness
Anxiety Unfolded

890 thoughts on “Stopping Un-favoured Feelings – Choosing Love Over Anxiousness

  1. Emotions always have a trigger, and that trigger is our investment, expectations and desires in all things. It is our want and need for a life of our own choosing that leaves us so vulnerable to emotional states of being – whether they be happiness or grief or anger. And although the former is the so called state of being that we supposedly seek most of all, it is itself an illusion – impossible to maintain and sustain in any meaningful way. No, the truth is we seek a form of sustenance much deeper than that, and yet we dare not claim it so, for fear that it may allude us. Better to settle for less, than acknowledge what we all deeply crave – a love so deep and profound that the stars become but ornaments in our hands.

  2. The concepts that I am love, that we all are love, that we come from love and that our destiny is to return to the love that we came from, I have learned all these from Universal Medicine. I say learned but I really mean re-learned because I have always known these, but that knowing had been blocked out. Once I started to grasp these concepts and assimilate them into my life, I had a new purpose to live from and realised that before I re-knew these things I was like a rudderless ship adrift in life.

  3. What I continue to learn is the simplicity of it all. I often catch myself going into reaction, and recently I am becoming more aware of how it affects everything, and it actually is hard not to go into self-judgment. But understanding that it is just an energy, that I was empty enough to let that energy enter and take place of love, and seeing it for what it truly is – that which doesn’t belong to me – is truly powerful. Feeling that energy leave is so confirming. It scurries away and leaves absolutely no residue of what was being felt a moment ago, as love returns to reclaim its place. Some choices obviously appear to be more deeply ingrained as we keep investing them, but still, they are choices too – and we are simply learning to keep choosing love.

    1. I love the simplicity that you refer to here Fumiyo: there’s no right or wrong, so it’s not about judging what we’re doing, or the choices we’re making and the way we’re living as right or wrong. Simply learning to keep choosing love. No complication, no judgment, just a simple choice of love or not.

    2. I have often become stuck in a belief that I am whatever emotion I am feeling and it becomes difficult to separate that emotion from who I am. Thank you to you and Monica for reminding me that this way of looking at things is completely false.

  4. This blog has got me questioning what are the feelings that I don’t want to feel, and why not? I can feel there are far greater depths to the feelings that I do want to feel. But because I want to be able to pick and choose the good bits, in doing so, I’m already limiting what I can feel, and so ‘stuck’ on this monochrome plateau of stagnation and not so comfortable comfort. Because unless I’m open to feeling everything, even the feelings I’d really rather not feel, life stays the same and I, we, don’t evolve

  5. If I live in a way that constantly berates myself, how can I live in a way where I am loving with others? How true this is: that how we are with ourselves is exactly the same with how we are with others. The more we consistently build a loving and true relationship with ourselves, the more we are able to do this with others.

  6. Awesome blog Monica, thank you for the reminder that how we choose to live determines how susceptible we are in choosing anxiousness, anger, frustration etc. and that we all equally have energy running through us, but the question is what kind of energy are we choosing? Is it healing or harming, love or anxiousness? This is always our choice which one we choose, amazing really, because when we understand it is always our choice to choose love or anxiousness and that this responsibility is ours, and blaming others or our situations just keeps us stuck in a rut of misery and despair where love is suppressed. We can change this by choosing to be love, to take responsibility for all our choices and understand how energy works through us, I find this is super supportive in eliminating anxiousness.

  7. but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it… this is a wonderful point isn’t it… It’s not saying that there is some pie in the sky attitude that makes everything okay… It’s bringing it back to tell individual choices that redefine our lives and our experiences.

  8. ‘It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ for a long time I did not want to accept this on-going process and tried to become perfect with all the anxiousness, frustration that is part of such a way of living. It was closing my eyes for what is called evolving, that I am an equal part of the whole and there is always more love to embody.

  9. “I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.” This for me stood out very strongly while reading this blog. If I am avoiding certain areas of my life then that affects all other areas. And after experiencing this a couple of times now, the moment I claim that I have chosen to be in the situation I am in then thats when my perception of the situation and myself and the others involved starts to change and become less heavy and healthier. So this line made a lot of sense in that love comes with responsibility and never can the two be separate, I can’t have one without the other.

  10. What stood out for me today when coming back to this blog was that it is all about choice: making consistently loving choices that support us to focus more on the feelings we do want to feel, and less likely to focus on those that drain and exhaust us.

    1. The fact that everything is a choice is so soothing, I constantly remind myself that I a can choose something different every moment of my life and there’s nothing more empowering than that!

  11. I love reading this and feeling that it is not about not having those feelings but building more love in the body so that those feelings don’t become the focus but are more viewed and understood through a foundation that is loving which then supports you to let go of them.

  12. Monika these words echo what we know is deep within us; the support and foundation that can be built in this knowing allows us to see wider and wider perspectives – “I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted…. And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up”

  13. We have been given so much in terms of true support to live this grand love we truly are. We have a body that talks loudly with symptoms when we step away from being loving with ourselves, it’s constantly guiding us. We have powerful awareness and clairsentience – we can feel the truth of everything around us (we do know), plus we have unlimited access to the love, wisdom and power of the universe (Aka God). There is also immense support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine on how to live from the love we are in essence in everyday life. The key for me is to not get distracted away from this immense universal support by the many choices I have previously made to live separated from this love, but just keep saying “yes” to love and evolution, claim the grandness in me, and allow myself to be supported.

  14. “the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving” and the more we all choose love, the more love is felt by everyone in the world.

  15. Life is all about choices, we all have areas in life that we are great in and it’s just taking that greatness to all areas, it’s up to us whether we let undealt with areas of our lives fester, and it’s up to us how much we give to life and what we put our all into – and whether we put our all into ALL of our life.

  16. To come to the knowing that “everything passes through every body” and therefore I am totally responsible for the energy that passes through others was a life changing moment; not one that scared me but one that suddenly made so much sense of life. We have been led to believe that responsibility is an onerous burden and in some cases to be avoided at all costs, but for me it is actual something I welcome as I know that with this responsibility comes the possibility of a more harmonious and loving way of living, not just for me, but for all.

  17. Thank you Monica, a great reminder how important our choices are every moment of every day, not only for us, the rest of the world too. Our responsibility to humanity is forever increasing the more aware we become of our choices and how they effect not only ourselves but everyone.

  18. Love means I can observe the emotions that come up that is the triggers to get me in anxiousness, frustration ending in a headache or migraine. Never do they come from my essence and just like you say Monica, it is all about our choices. Do we give ourselves permission to choose what we know is true and live a loving life, or stay in the struggle of our emotions, our expectations, the pictures we have how life should be. Serge Benhayon and his family are living a loving life and we are equal to them so why not choose the love.

  19. I am love by being love – incredible statue and so true. What makes more sense than this, nothing in my eyes.. Just revealing that there is so much ill-ways to discard and so much loving-ways to take. It is our choice – every day again!

  20. Choosing love over anxiousness feels like a no-brainer, who would prefer anxiousness to love? Well most of us actually, because anxiousness is something we create so that we don’t have to be love. It makes no sense, but little in this world does if we really look at it deeply.

  21. This is great Monica. I have labelled certain feelings good and others bad. I have a picture in my head of wanting to be free of the so-called negative emotions. It makes sense that I am going to feel anxious, angry etc during some days, however you are right that how I treat myself and the choices I make can result in me not giving energy to those feelings.

  22. Super gorgeous Monica – I love this blog. Felt a lot of joy at this sentence: “I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility” – because there is actually a great joy in responsibility and in being more loving and aware 🙂

  23. I completely agree that words cannot express the appreciation I have and feel for Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family. The only way I can express my appreciation is by being more responsible, loving and aware and living it myself.

  24. ‘It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ I have lived for a long time with the idea I need to arrive somewhere and then everything would be wonderful. How far from the truth, life is wonderful when we take our responsibility to build a foundation based on the love we are, to become more love by making choices that support such a way of life and there is no end, it feels as a forever deepening process.

  25. It is gorgeous and deeply empowering to know that love exposes what Is not love and therefore guides you to responsibly address what does not belong depending on the life you want to live.

  26. How very beautiful and empowering Monica. Love begets love; what a joy and responsibility;
    “There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love”.

  27. As I see and feel more love I understand myself and others more in the unloving choices we all can make, I am coming to an understanding that this is what love is, a beholding, something I’ve heard but am not coming to understand and feel more daily. When we are held in this way, when we hold ourselves in this way we are given the space, the grace to choose love (it’s always there, but it’s like an extra loving support), so love begets love for all of us, and the pool of loving choices grows for all to make.

  28. Knowing that everything goes through us, that we have a choice, means choosing to be aware. I can see how easy it is to choose to be aware of the good bits and to choose to turn a blind eye to the bits that would call for more responsibility. But easy in the short term and an opening for way more complication in the long term.

  29. It’s amazing how we seem to be so good at clocking and holding onto the unfavorables while letting pass through unnoticed the Universality that is equally passing through us constantly.

  30. There is no problem with feeling everything the issue is when we react because we want it to be different. The qualities of understanding and acceptance help a lot here.

    1. Not only is there no problem in feeling everything – it is the way to be. To feel everything, not get engaged but simply observe it as it is, is the greatest protection. From there we have a choice as to how we feel to respond (not react).

  31. This is why consistency in how we live is so important. The moment we are not with ourselves, in connection and aware of our movements, the greater the risk of allowing energy or thoughts in that are not true to who we are. As you say Monica – we have everything (energy) running through us all the time.

  32. It is empowering to realise and feel that the love we are within is who we are. This awareness allows us to then understand that when we to go into anger, anxiousness or frustration these are the emotions that follow from the choice we made to leave the love we are. The beautiful and empowering thing is that at any and every moment we are offered the same opportunity; to be love or not.

    1. Carola it is beautiful knowing that we are love always, that’s” who we are”, when we go into anger, frustration or anxiousness “these are just merely emotions from choices we made to leave the love we are. ” We have in every moment the opportunity to choose love or not.

  33. If I were a queen or had the absurd ability to rule that the colour green was not allowed and that it be removed from society, it would do nothing to deal with the fact that I still have a problem with the colour green. Green is not the problem, my problem with it is!

  34. Thank you Monika. When I connect to the fact that the energy expressed by one can be accessed by all (if chosen) I can see how absurd it is to believe that we can harm another without harming ourselves.

  35. When I have reacted in some way I have allowed an energy to enter my body. I feel uncomfortable. I know it is not who I am so I have a choice to hold on to it or let it go. Allowing the emotion to pass through me I come back to myself. We feel everything… awareness is key.

  36. Absolutely how we live and what we choose in every moment determines whether we react to life or respond i.e. are we anxious, angry, irritated, joyful or loving? As you say these emotions are always there we are not immune to them but it is always a choice what we choose and the more truly love and take care of ourselves the less anger and anxiousness etc we will have.

  37. When our life is one of anxiousness, frustration or anger, to mention a few emotions, is pretty difficult to be aware and accept that this is the result of a choice we have made. Yet, this is something crucial because only when you understand this, you may also contemplate making a different choice

  38. Thanks Monica, it’s quite a new understanding to have that energy is passing through us and that the way we live and what we choose determines what energy we experience.

  39. The commitment to any aspect of our lives, shows us where the consistency flows and does not flow. What a simple way to bring more awareness to the body and how we move rather than opt to bring in reactions that bring a deeper level of harm and can often send us into cycles of doubt.

  40. What I am reminded of, whilst reading your blog Monica, is the choice is always ours. In every moment we can choose love over what is not love; sometimes quite a challenge. However the choice, responsibility and level of commitment is always ours.

  41. What struck me is that : no matter what we do or where we are – WE ARE LOVE !
    Hence it totally puts all lies in place now, that everything we do to pretend we are not love -judging, denying, critize, hate, etc.etc is part of the game of continuing with sunglasses on pretending there is no sun. Whilst there is sun. A big brilliant sun that is symbol for our warmth, our love. Hence we can run miles away or apart or deny it even when we feel it is so close and burning from within – Sun is in us and so is our love – all of the time. We can either continue playing games or stop pretending and claiming that fact that we are love and that we need to accept it, connect to it, allow it to come out and understand all the previous choices before – ALL THE WAY!

  42. To allow ourselves to feel an emotion that is coming up for us doesn’t mean we have to indulge in it and can instead be the first step in truly resolving it rather than trying to push it down or away without seeing where it came from.

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