Appreciation – A Pathway to Love

I have spent most of my life giving myself a hard time. If something went wrong or if someone got upset, I would be the first person to put my hand up thinking it was my fault – even if it wasn’t. I have been very quick at putting myself in the doghouse, so to speak. This has been a pattern that I always remember having; it has been my normal.

Because of this belief I often attracted situations and relationships where I was also given a hard time, which simply to me confirmed my belief that indeed something was wrong with me. Giving myself a hard time was part of my foundation – so much so that until recently I didn’t even realise the extent to which I internally battered and beat myself.

Since coming to the work of Universal Medicine and being a Student of The Way of The Livingness, I have already made quite an inroad into developing a way of living that is self-honouring and self-loving. This has brought much clarity and joy on a day-to-day basis, however I can now see that this default program of giving myself a hard time has been capping my expansion and evolution.

Having had a Universal Medicine practitioner lovingly point out that this was a pattern of mine, I decided to explore the possibility of choosing another way. First of all, I recognised that I had been saying ‘yes’ to this pattern and I began to explore why I was choosing it. I became aware of the cycle that played out in my self-abuse.

Whenever anyone would question me on something that I had done or said, I would be quick to doubt myself, then I would disconnect from my body to go into more doubt, become very confused, give up on myself and then internally bash myself over the head for not getting it right: the whole time, not assessing or feeling if what had been said was indeed true for me or not.

By acknowledging that this was a recurring pattern, I started to make inroads by seeing just how debilitating this pattern was and how much it was holding me back.

The Game Changer – Self-Appreciation

This was when I began a self-appreciation program where on a daily basis via text message I began to share with a friend at least two things that I appreciate about myself on that day. Because I already had a strong foundation of love in my body from the self-loving choices I had been making over the last four or five years, this opened up a fountain of appreciation for myself that I never knew was there, dwelling inside of me waiting to burst out.

I began to see very clearly just how awesome I am and just how much there is to appreciate about myself. I began to see daily that the amazingness of who I truly am far outweighs all the little things that I had been giving myself a hard time over.

As I have begun to deeply appreciate all that ‘I am’, the ‘what I am not’ has started to fade into the background. It is something that I need to lovingly work on, but I no longer identify with it as who I am.

No more doghouse for me! I found that my innate way of being really is to express from this appreciation.

Along with the appreciation of myself also has come hand in hand a deeper appreciation of others. As I focus on seeing the beauty in me, I cannot help but see the beauty in those around me. My foundation is shifting quickly and I now see how giving myself a hard time no longer serves me. It was a pattern that I chose as a way of keeping myself small, of not showing the world the glory of who I really am.

This article was inspired by Serge Benhayon and fellow Universal Medicine students and practitioners who have reflected that appreciation is a pathway to a deeper level of love.

By Donna Gianniotis, Age 41, BA Communication, Dip Health (Yoga)

Further Reading:
No Doubt
Women in Livingess
Compliments And Me

1,311 thoughts on “Appreciation – A Pathway to Love

  1. Appreciation is so needed on our way back to Soul as it is a continuous confirmation of how great and beautiful we are and with that we give it permission to grow it even bigger.

  2. Thank you Donna for the clarity with which you express your appreciation for yourself and the recognition that whilst there will always be stuff to work on it that it is not who you are. Like you I have been so good at focusing on what I perceived to be my weaknesses that they overshadowed all there is to appreciate in how my life has turned around since attending Universal Medicine presentations and taking responsibility for how I am with myself and others.

  3. Great title ‘Appreciation – A Pathway to Love’ with ourselves and others. Time to bin all the books on finding love and connect to the joy of appreciation.

  4. Self-bashing is incredibly harmful to both us and others and yet so many of us do it and even feel virtuous about it as if it is being honest or helpful in some way. This is such an illusion as the only thing that is healing is love and that is true love which does not have one ounce of emotion.

  5. It is one of the greatest losses our world has been delivered that self doubt and self bashing far out weigh self appreciation and the responsibility that true appreciation engenders.

  6. Appreciation of self is the precursor and foundation for truly appreciating others and what we all bring.

  7. I have spent most of my life giving myself a hard time also Donna; but no more. Your blog is a great inspiration to always remember that appreciation is the pathway to love.

  8. We can so easily get stuck in old, well worn patterns which do not serve us and which in fact hold us back … I love that you’ve been willing to address yours here Donna, and how the simple act of embracing appreciation showed you so much and how in fact you found this to be a natural expression. It has me asking how I can deepen my own appreciation and what I might find when I do.

  9. It is crazy how much time we spent focussing on our ‘short comings’ all the while there is so much grandness and beauty in an about us.

  10. Expressing and sharing our appreciation with others is so powerful. Even just giving ourselves a moment to stop, and stock-take in itself is something to really appreciate about.

  11. A big thumbs up for appreciation programs. I do a daily text with a close friend, and as a family, we also share appreciations around the dinner table. It changes the focus away from the negative (which has also been my habit) and has opened my eyes to how much there is to appreciate about myself, others and life in general.

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