Behind Closed Doors

Have you ever walked the streets in your neighbourhood and wondered what is going on behind those closed doors; with the people living isolated and separated lives behind them? And have you ever considered how much we have separated ourselves from one another and the many horrific things that happen behind these closed doors on a daily basis that no one would know about?

On average, every week, a woman in Australia is killed at the hands of her partner or someone she knows well. Every day there are countless stories of horrific abuse of women and children, and the most despicable crimes you could possibly imagine are perpetrated. We would be ignorant to think that these acts happen at random or just come out of nowhere.

We live our life, we go to work, we get the kids to school, we run our errands, etc., but this is only a portion of what we allow the world to see. It is only our family and perhaps our close friends that really get to see what goes on behind closed doors … and within that space there are more closed doors that very few, if any, would ever be allowed to see.

It’s the way society has been built and it’s what we are used to and accept as our normal. Have you ever been told “What happens in the home, stays in the home?”

Somewhere there is an unwritten rule that tells us to keep quiet about the abuse, the yelling, the screaming, or whatever else goes on. The rule says, no one must know about what goes on in here … and life carries on as if it hasn’t ever happened.

The shadow of shame lingers over so many lives as secrets are buried in hidden troves. How many women are at the mercy of their abusive partner for years before anyone ever knows? How many children are abused day after day as a matter of course before they are found dead? What is really going on in people’s homes that we are not aware of until it is way too late?

And domestic violence is not the only hidden crime against humanity we are likely to find behind those closed doors. We have a multi-billion dollar industry built around pornography that is on tap. We have serious issues with alcohol, yet it still remains a socially acceptable substance even though it continues to fuel so much of the violence and suffering we find in our communities.

The abuse of drugs and mind-altering substances is out of control, completely destroying the lives of the users and their families. And for the most part, this all happens behind closed doors. We tend to hear about the end result, and the devastation that has been caused after the fact. But what we don’t hear about is the life that has been lived, the day-to-day experiences that led to this devastating situation.

And we don’t get to see the suffering or the pain one might be in, the depression and the turmoil that gets taken home to the family after.

In the confines of our own four walls behind closed doors we tend to drop our guard, release our tension, only to take it out on those closest rather that take responsibility for our selves. Whether it be a mother yelling at her children, a husband hitting his wife or sexual abuse – whatever the extent, it all happens within the confines of the home, for no one to see and for no one to hear.

And isn’t it true that even though we don’t see what goes on in our neighbours’ homes, we tend to be able to feel when things are not quite right?

It has to be the ultimate form of irresponsibility, to live one way behind closed doors and then put on a facade to meet the world.

Take porn, for example, we are not free from its hold just because the magazine is closed or the computer is switched off. The energy of porn goes with us to work, when we are with our children and when they walk down the street. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Kids can certainly feel it.

Cyber trolls sit behind their keyboards punching away profanities and all manner of abuse, all behind the cloak of anonymity, tucked away behind their doors to hide their abhorrent behaviour. Yet they venture out to lead what seems to be a ‘normal’ life, that unless exposed, no one would even know about. These may be on the extreme end of the spectrum of behaviours but to some degree, most people have something that doesn’t see the light of day that is kept very close, to themselves and a select few.

What if we were to live without these walls and doors? What would life be like if we allowed ourselves to be transparent, open and honest about our lives? Of course there is always going to be an element of privacy that we are more than entitled to, but the quality of our doors and walls could be somewhat permeable.

I know a family, the Benhayon family, that lives like this. They are enormously generous and very open and warm and when you are with them you can’t help but feel how much they let you in to their world.

They have their privacy but in no way do they shut the world out. They don’t have one persona going on at work and then another at home and another with friends. And they live like this because there is nothing to hide and there are no secrets to bury and they have so much to share. What you see is what you get. This to me is the epitome of integrity.

It is everything we want for the world yet we haven’t been able to crack through our ingrained ways that keep us all very separate and boxed in, literally.

When we are boxed in, things can fester. Moments turn into days, days into a week and weeks into years. Before we know it we are living in situations that are far from supportive and far from loving and far from real. It is the festering that makes things go stale.

No matter how good we make things look on the outside, sooner or later a loveless relationship will be exposed or a loveless body will get sick or a devastating ‘stop’ will be waiting around the corner . . . because living boxed in is not actually natural even though we have made it our normal. When we have another life going on behind closed doors, we are contributing to the festering that is resulting in some very tragic circumstances.

Meanwhile, the Benhayon family is lighting the way forward as living examples of true family and true community. This is what love in action looks like.

By no means are they perfect and they don’t ever strive to be. They are simply real and the love that pours from their home, through their walls and out of their front door, is for all to see and feel.

Anyone who is open has access to this, it is not confined to a few and it is certainly not boxed in because there is no difference between what goes on inside and what can be seen from the outside.

Respecting and honouring one another is easy with this much love … and hiding and burying is near impossible.

And while the world carries on behind their closed doors, there are a growing number of homes that have switched their lights on: you can see through their windows that the light burns bright, having been deeply inspired by the Benhayons to make life about the most real and tangible love that in turn opens them up to the world. No more hiding behind closed doors and no more burying the love that they, and all of us, already are.

 By Sara Harris, Health Practitioner, Melbourne, Australia

Further Reading:
A Modern Day Miracle
A Letter To Our Community About Abuse
Where is the Love? Where Has it Gone?
Saying No to Intellectual And Emotional Abuse Is True Self Care – A Personal Story

1,070 thoughts on “Behind Closed Doors

  1. The comfort of living in a boxed way is what keeps people protected. The truth and rawness of what may be exposed of ways we may be living, means we need to take steps to bring about change or look at situations with honesty and express who we truly are and therein lies our true responsibility.

  2. Sara, it is great to come back to your blog. I always found it strange how people would be one way at home or when they thought people werent looking and another way out in public putting on a false facade. As Serge Benhayon has mentioned it is ‘one life’ and what we do in one part directly affects every other part of our lives. It is time we no longer compartmentalise our lives and see it as one whole.

  3. What has to be understood is that we, all of us, feel everything. We may not know what we are feeling because we have chosen to ignore and not develop our ability to feel energy however… We still on some level know it. So really, whatever we feel we are hiding, on one level, is open and revealed for anyone who chooses to be able to see and read.

  4. That unwritten privacy rule is so damaging… a by-product of shame, or trying to control, of not being willing to be ourselves warts and all because the image we project is too important. And besides – everyone else is playing the same game so why should we be transparent. This attitude is normal, and unbelievably damaging to society, allowing things to carry on behind closed doors that are simply atrocious.

  5. It’s true we never know what is going on behind closed doors, its an amazing lesson in always discerning energy and not being fooled by a polished performance. It also reminds me that even if we live behind those closed doors, and we know what is happening, we cannot see energy and much goes on that we cannot see, so we always need to discern with more than our eyes.

  6. Every day I see people pulling into their driveways at the end of the day, scurrying into their sectioned piece of land, into the building that sits on it and stays within the confines of the walls until the next morning when they do it all again. Even when we venture out into the world, our walls stay up. And it is but a sad, cold and separate existence when their is a fiery love within each one of us, that warms us like the hearth of a home and opens us to a togetherness we have always longed for.

  7. Domestic violence is abhorrent, and it will take all of us to commit to another way of life that eliminates even the small abusive ways we are together, so the more obvious violence will be eliminated.

  8. What you have exposed here Sara is very revealing; if we consistently live a life of truth, love and responsibility in everything we do there would be no need to hide closed doors, no need for comfort or abuse on any level. The sad thing is this is not the way the vast majority of society live;
    “It has to be the ultimate form of irresponsibility, to live one way behind closed doors and then put on a facade to meet the world”.

    1. I feel this way of living a double life is exhausting, unloving and deeply harmful to ourselves and others. Eventually everything gets exposed anyway so why create an illusion of life that hurts us all? Simply return to love is so much more simple, joyful and fun.

  9. It is as though we think that what happens behind closed doors stays there, as though we can contain whatever is not honest, true and loving in the confines of our four walls – in truth we take it everywhere we go and nothing is ever isolated or not part of the all we live in.

  10. When we keep things hidden behind closed doors they sit there like a proverbial monster that shadows all of our moves wherever we go. There is no hiding or closure from them, our mind just thinks and tells us there is.

  11. What happens behind closed doors is something we can feel with no problem, but usually feel not to. We rely on the walls that divide to justify the desire of not really wanting to feel.

  12. This is so, so true, anything that is not love will eventually get exposed. To be open and transparent about what is not working for us supports us to heal and return to love. Being exposed is never a bad thing but actually a very loving thing because to hide behind closed doors and conceal things creates tension and stress which leads to illness and disease which really is our body’s way of exposing any ill choices and behaviours. Beautiful how love works because it is always asking us to be transparent, honest and take responsibility. There is really nowhere to hide love is within us and all around us.

  13. “…living boxed in is not actually natural even though we have made it our normal. When we have another life going on behind closed doors, we are contributing to the festering that is resulting in some very tragic circumstances.” The question that pops up here is it because we want to in indulge in our wayward ways to numb the fact we are living against what we know is true i.e. true family and true commitment to ourselves and each other that we have made ourselves separate to each other? Has this become ‘easier’ than feeling and admitting the lie we are constantly living?

  14. …and how many men are abused by their partners? What goes on in probably virtually every household is not love but abuse in one form or another. Sure it may be subtle and involve no violence but if anything less than love is abuse, which it is, then we can see how little love there actually is happening. The reason, we are all carrying un-dealt-with hurts that until we deal with, cause us to hold back and not trust instead of being loving.

  15. I recently learned about a whole new level of abuse that is taking place in homes under the banner of ‘domestic violence’ – but is so far beyond what we ever have considered domestic violence to be to date. The levels of abuse are horrific, and show just how needed truly loving homes and lives are.

  16. I like the analogy of switching the lights on within our home – we already have the light source there ready to go we just have to choose it…

  17. Sara, our family has also been very inspired by the Benhayon family and how they live and love. When we all start emanating this love in our families and come out from behind closed doors then others get to feel this and may make changes too- the ripple effect.

  18. And it is not just to live like this in our home, but to have that transparency in our hearts , our bodies, and in our eyes so that people can feel what this reflection is like as well.

  19. We can no longer live behind closed doors, everything we do at any time affects everyone else, we need to be transparent in all we do if not the whole world suffers.

  20. Closing our doors has no effect on energy. It is an illusion to think we are living behind closed doors and that what we do in that privacy is not felt by others.

  21. We are only fooling ourselves if we think we can go about our day being a certain way at work and then when we get home change our behaviour, as if no one but us is affected – regardless if we live with someone or not.

  22. I used to wander the streets wondering and feeling what was going on behind closed doors. I could feel it all, the people in tension with each other, the dazed in front of the tv, the abuse. The truth is that nothing can be hidden even behind doors and walls as energy can’t be contained by these.

  23. Making things look good on the outside is a draining and exhausting way to live and completely see-through anyway, so why do we do it? Often we’re trying to live up to some picture of how we think we need to be for the world or for others, as a way to get recognition and be accepted by the world. But once we start truly accepting and loving ourselves for who we are, not what we do, then this need to create and conform to an expectation we’ve set ourselves of who or how we think we should be starts to fall away: it’s just not needed anymore as a form of protection. We are already everything that we need to be.

  24. This blog highlights for me how much we can try and compartmentalise our lives – to say that what goes on in one part is confined to four walls whereas really everything we do affects everyone. Often in the news of late people have brushed things off as ‘locker room banter’ – as though it’s ok to say whatever in one place because it doesn’t impact anywhere else, but what if all that we say is felt by us all regardless of whether we can hear it or not.

  25. “It has to be the ultimate form of irresponsibility, to live one way behind closed doors and then put on a facade to meet the world” So well exposed and a statement that deserves to be pondered deeply on.

  26. I just read another blog that exposed how we hide behind our words… The classic question of ‘how are you?’ generates the auto answer of ‘good thanks’ or something similar. We think we can hide but the truth is, everything is felt by everyone…it’s just that most are choosing to ignore this and then mutually agree, without saying a word, that if I’m not honest, then you don’t have to be honest either. A kid of cosy way to live.

  27. I grew up thinking what went on behind closed doors stayed behind them. Just like what you do when you are on your own does not effect anyone else – but I know this is not the case. After all what quality do you then bring when you go out and meet people. Are you playing catch from the disregard you had on your own?

  28. It is interesting to note that we think we can compartmentalise our life into private and public when we carry everything we do around with us energetically. We are not just flesh and bone but the sum total of all our deeds, actions, thoughts and intentions. And in truth, all that is in plain sight, there for everyone to feel.

  29. True family knows no borders, and certainly isn’t constrained by blood or name; true family is all of us. The way the Benhayons are with everyone is the kind of quality that is so needed in all our community relationships and it’s that quality that will start to resolve the many horrific things that happen behind closed doors on a daily basis.

  30. We like to believe that we can do whatever we want behind our closed door and that it affects no one but ourself or our family, but this is completely untrue. Everything affects everyone whether it is seen and known about or not, its ripple effects will still ripple out to affect the all. It is very convenient for an irresponsible mankind to have chosen to forget this vital fact. We are all a part of a stupendous interdependency and our every word, action and even thought affects everyone else.

  31. I must admit I rarely if ever wonder what goes soon behind other people’s closed doors. I have seen enough behind my own closed doors to know that there is more lovelessness in the world that there is love and I have realised that I have to play my part in turning this around. It is so much more enjoyable to be loving than it is to being loveless, but nevertheless most still choose it.

  32. This is huge. Keeping everything a secret and I mean everything between the four walls of the home is prevalent. Recently I have re-awakened to being open and transparent as much as I can possibly be and I am loving it. It is work in progress especially allowing myself to be fully transparent in front of a large group of people but in my day to day I am dropping the guard and protection of how I used to live and when I do feel I am holding back because of another’s reaction I call it out at the time or later. It is so freeing when I give myself the permission to be and live all of who I am.

  33. Thank you Sara for sharing with us your journey. It seems kind of ridiculous to think we can hide anything from another when we know that we are all connected as one. I agree that we have the Benhayons as wonderful examples of transparency being the same to all they meet.

  34. “the Benhayon family is lighting the way forward as living examples of true family and true community. This is what love in action looks like.” When we live with an open heart the love shines out and no one can close the door on it.

  35. Sara this really struck me as what we have taken as normal “It has to be the ultimate form of irresponsibility, to live one way behind closed doors and then put on a facade to meet the world.” I am certain this causes so much illness and disease and found I was a fair way down that road. It is living a dual life with 2 nervous systems – quite exhausting.

  36. It is only until we fully understand that everything is energy that we will know the level of responsibility we have in our lives as whatever we choose in the ways of thoughts, reactions will shape our movements that then affect those we live close to and that is a form of abuse as it is not coming from a loving foundation in which we can hold another.

  37. Pornography is more than ever before lucrative industry, with criminal cartels weaving into all fabrics of society as recent scandals have exposed. The extent of the corruption and evil at play here is so huge that we play the stork in the sand game… the media published very little, if any of the truth and the ignorance continues – as does the abuse. That cycle of ignorance can only change as we start to open our eyes and really see what is happening, and call it out for the evil it actually is.

  38. An inspiring and eye opening read. I can see that I have more work to do with first accepting myself exactly where I am and letting that be more transparent outside of the four walls. It’s such a beautiful feeling to just be completely myself.

  39. I’ve come to learn that if I am committing myself to be an energetically responsible man in life, I must behave the same whether behind closed doors or not.

  40. Being open and honest shines the light of transparency to expose the shadows of abuse that behind closed doors we can accept as apart of our usual routine.

  41. We are restricting ourselves by thinking that we can do whatever we like to do and get away with it if we manage to do it unseen. All that we do we carry with us and even though we might not be able to see it with our bare eyes we can all feel it and get affected by it.

  42. Can we begin to lift the shame that is felt when another is shocked at what goes on behind your closed doors. This shame and regret are the emotions we don’t want to feel, so to avoid them we don’t share, in full, our lives. It takes courage, but the rewards far out weigh any attempt to hide the truth of our lives. For when truth is seen and spoken it opens again our doors, not just to our homes, but also to our sensitivies. I for one am practicing opening the doors to my life.

  43. The other night I was walking home from work and as I passed by a house I heard a couple shouting and screaming at each other in a heated argument. It shocked me to hear it and I felt the impact of it in my body as I tensed up, but it was a sobering reminder of what does go on behind closed doors all the time and how we all believe that if it is inside the home it is not felt by everyone.

  44. Being transparent in life can feel hard to do, exposing, vulnerable, shameful, embarrassing… but what l’ve also learnt is that there is far more love and acceptance when I am transparent, then when I am not, thinking what I might have to share will be judged. If I do not judge myself, I find others little inclined to either.

  45. ‘Somewhere there is an unwritten rule that tells us to keep quiet about the abuse, the yelling, the screaming, or whatever else goes on.’ And this unwrittem rule is not isolated to the home, it is an insidious unwritten rule that is accepted in many establishments.

  46. No more burying the love we all naturally have, so true Sara, and we know this, it’s the tension we feel always when we do not live this. And it’s the responsibility we all carry to live and be this love in the world, and it’s needed by all of us. Why would we not live what we are … love.

  47. I find that I don’t tend to wonder what’s going on behind closed doors, although I can get a general feel for what is going on around me. We all get a sense of a home and whether it feels warm, safe and inviting or not, even if we don’t know the people inside. However it is often not until I read something, a news event, read statistics or speak with another person that I get with clarity that all is not as it appears behind closed doors.

  48. The Benhayon family have been showing us for many years now, that there is no on off switch in the way we live. There is not way to behave in public then a licence to what you like at home. Everything in life is one and every ‘part’ affects the other parts of our lives

  49. Forget about what is going on behind those neighbours front doors, how about those of our colleagues, our friends, our family. What is that we keep hidden, that we protect with all our might trying not to let the world see it? How about behind our own front door?

  50. Regularly I am coming behind these close doors because of my nursing profession, I visit people in their are own homes and to feel and see the lovelessness people live with is has been opening me up to live love more consistently and to make no difference between how I am at home or at work.

  51. Whether behind a front door or a smile, much can be hidden at the expense of all. The lack of transparency in the world and amongst each other can be felt far and wide from those who prefer polite society and not airing your laundry in public…. but people are suffering and as such we are not seeing how bad it really is due to the well kept facades. Thank god for those who are not afraid to keep their lights on, be seen and show others there is another way.

  52. While we think we will come away with it, as we keep it behind closed door, the reality is that it will always be revealed soon or later as is my experience as truth will always finds its way. Until we understand that it is actually not wise to keep things behind closed doors it will continue. But as you say Sara there are already houses lighting up so bright because only truth rules there and this number will grow as it will only by example and inspiration that people will change their behaviour .

  53. I was chatting to a policeman who’s beat is part of a huge city and he was telling me that since he joined the force just how much society has changed. From just the simple things such as when he was young every one wanted to work no matter what that work was as long as it brought in an honest wage at the end of the week. And some people had two jobs if they wanted to buy a house or a car etc. Now he sees the younger generation as idle; they don’t want to work, mostly they are checked out on drugs and or alcohol and look to the state to provide for them. So I asked him why he thought this was and he didn’t know, he just knows that there is a generation of young people who have no sense of responsibility and are wasting their lives and there’s no plan of action to support them out of this malaise and no one seems to know what to do about it. This isn’t happening behind closed doors it is out there for all to see, but it seems no one is willing to see

  54. It’s shocking to realise how much abuse takes place in one’s own home. It really exposes the falseness of the ideals we hold in relation to family, and how much compromise we allow in order not to disturb a picture.

  55. I often drive or walk past houses and get a horrible feeling for what goes on inside, much like a body that has been riddled with anger through it years, houses take on the activities that take place within.

  56. As I begin to open up and share about me, the more I can feel how harming it is to my body to hide, bury and keep things to myself. It feels very expansive to express and share what and how I am feeling even though I may feel uncomfortable as there is no right and wrong . We can support each other greatly when we allow ourselves to be transparent for all to see who we truly are.

    1. Caroline Francis, beautiful name it is, transparency is our doorway to heaven, hence when we shine through (see through, transparent) the world gets to see us back – being it for our light or our choices. Both, is needed to share and be open about – as this is how we nail the right and or wrong, as there isn’t any. It can only be a cover up from the love we are not choosing. Even though it is too bright to be covered up, its impossible.

  57. “What happens in the home, stays in the home” This is factually not true. Everything that happens behind closed doors, we carry it in our body. It does not stay ‘there’. The problem starts when what happens behind closed doors everywhere is pretty much the same. Then, it becomes pretty difficult to be aware of the other given that people are in a similar frequency. When you change frequency, though, life starts feeling different and you can start feeling what happens behind closed doors and also people take note that it does not have to be that way.

  58. Sara, great article, I can feel how it is ‘common’ to put on a face when out of the home and pretend that everything is ok and that we may wait until we get home to tell our children off, have an argument with our partner etc because we do not want others witnessing this, and so it feels like this is living two seperate lives and not being transparent, not wanting others to see these loveless ways. Very interesting to ponder on this.

  59. “Behind closed doors” is a very interesting one especially when you look at the facts. It appears most things that go on are closer to home then we think, what’s the message in that? Is it that we open our doors up and let everyone in? Yes and no, what it means for me is a return to how things were. I remember growing up we didn’t have fences between back yards, it was all one yard. Sure you needed to respect others space but as long as there was respect you could use it anytime. As children we would play all around the area and no one would concern. Everyone knew everyone and they took care of each other and themselves. I am not saying it’s perfect but I am saying we are moving further away from something that did in part work for everyone. If someone or something didn’t fit in the area everyone would feel it and then discuss it on how to move forward. This to me is how communities use to operate, they took care of each other and based things on how they felt collectively and things were discussed. It seems we are going further within our homes and the discussions and feelings of things are becoming a thing of the past. With this there are a few breaking things back to how they were, returning them to a way that supports us all, the Benhayon family and others like them are part of this return.

  60. There are so many deeply destructive, abusive, violent manifestations that have seemingly become part of our every day life, that we have lost the capacity for being shocked, rather a resigation that this is what the world is, and the equally damaging reactions which are to numb ourselves out, or ‘look after our own’ but this only serves to further alienate an already desperate society. A community that needs to remember our common origin, our capacity to love, all equally, and to reunite together. Withdrawing from the mess will not solve it, only perpetuate, we need to jump back in and reflect the way we all know is true deep down,.

  61. When we hold judgement on ourselves or on others, there is also the temptation to try to conceal our mistakes, and our ill patterns – and this is how they come to own us – but if we come from the understanding that none of these things is truly us, and with honesty start to scientifically observe and deconstruct we will know what is not true, and in letting them go, we will be freeing everyone to see and know and live the truth of who they are once more.

  62. The greatest myth is that we can hide behind our walls and the other side of our closed doors; lock ourselves away from the world. Although it may seem that way on the outside, what we live energetically is there for everyone to feel. What is lived by someone is automatically felt by another – everyone – regardless of where lived.

  63. In life there are no closed doors and thinking we get away with something because we did it behind closed doors is a fallacy and we all know it. Even if no one discovers what we have done or do, we have to live with our choices and actions in our bodies and everything is felt.

  64. I agree Sara, the way the Benhayon family live 24/7 is a powerful role-model for all to know, that this is a way of living that can be the new normal for every one by making different choices in our daily lives.
    “Meanwhile, the Benhayon family is lighting the way forward as living examples of true family and true community. This is what love in action looks like”.

  65. Thank you Sara – that is very powerful.
    I love this:
    ‘No more hiding behind closed doors and no more burying the love that they, and all of us, already are.’
    It shows us that we all deeply in fact know where we come from and where we need to return to.
    If we are hiding than we know what is true. We just need to stand for it.

  66. Why the need of hiding? Why the need of living double lives? It’s not enough to live one life? Why don’t fully embrace and expand the life we have been gifted with instead of looking for secret escapes?

  67. I absolutely agree that “It has to be the ultimate form of irresponsibility, to live one way behind closed doors and then put on a facade to meet the world.”, and it is a way that I too used to live, and not very happily at all. When we live like this we are simply lying to ourselves and the world. What an exhausting way to exist but all the meanwhile there is another way to truly live, one where there is no difference between how we live at home and how we live outside our front door; a way that is much more honest and definitely much more enjoyable.

  68. A powerful statement on the state of humanity. What we have allowed and by all evidence actually condoned are great travesties – innumerable… people harmed, oftentimes with the clear knowing of neighbours, friends, family who see and hear the signs that things are not right.
    How much needs to worsen, for us to not remain silent? For us to not connect with our neighbour? For us to look within our own homes and ‘closed doors’ – for the tiniest spec of harm, the single harsh word or lack of care, and indeed a hiding of anything that is not truly loving and honouring in the way we live and are with each other.
    We should live as if our walls are transparent Sara, I agree. For in effect, energetically, they are… our every action has a ripple effect upon the whole and this truth can never be denied.

  69. I was talking to someone recently who brought up the subject of abuse in the home and they were hospitalized because they were abused by their then partner. She had wondered why the mother of the family had bruises and she was told that the mother had either fallen over the dog or down stairs. But while in hospital she realised abuse ran in the family and that their son was at times very abusive too. When she reported the abuse to the police they said it was normal this is what men do and they would not press charges. How have we accepted that this as a society is normal behaviour? Why is it more acceptable behaviour in some countries more than others? How bad does the abuse towards each other have to get before we will wake up to the fact that it is not an acceptable way to be with each other.

  70. We are kidding ourselves if we think we can hide behind closed doors what is actually happening in our lives, it is felt by everyone but so many are part of the game of pretending that everything is OK when this is clearly not the reality. I was recently canvassing with a friend and approaching houses it was easy to get a feel for the house and its occupants and it was interesting how this was then confirmed when the door opened or in some cases remained firmly closed.

  71. I love how you describe the way the Benhayon family live as ‘love in action’. So true and so inspiring.

  72. If how we live became more transparent we would then have to look more at our behaviors. As those that cause harm to ourselves or others would not be hidden and how they truly feel, we would feel, and no longer want to live by.

  73. It is true there is so much that goes on behind closed doors that is never spoken about, but we believe that we are getting away with something, and that only our, what we want people to see face is all that the world gets. And yet how many times have we walked into a room and felt the atmosphere, or felt a creepy energy coming from someone we are speaking to – so could we be in deep illusion when we think we are hiding our actions, and believing that our thoughts are our own.

  74. We can close our doors and our eyes. We can do our best to numb our feelings. However, even in doing the above, we can still feel the disarray, disenchantment, disrespect and deep falseness that many live, as what happens behind closed doors is never hidden, as it walks with the person in everything they do.

  75. There is much shame associated with sharing particular issues. We go about our lives keeping a lot to ourselves, but the reality is when we start to talk, there are many who are going through the same things as us. In sharing we can support each other and open up the conversation, which can in turn start to bring about change.

  76. To think that we need to put out a certain facade all the time creates a big tension inside and at the same time is a big drain on our vitality – whereas with openness and transparency we’re not expecting ourselves to live up to a certain image or ‘perfection’ but just be authentic and honest with where we’re at – which doesn’t mean we need to indulge in emotions but we can just be open with where we’re at without self-judgement or dumping things on another.

  77. I was listening to a radio interview yesterday about truth in politics and they were talking about this topic. It is commonly thought that there is a public life and a personal life but the question was raised – if a politician cheats on their partner in their personal life, how do we accept that as OK, and expect that they wont cheat in their public life? Worth a listen to:

  78. When our sanctuary, which ought to be our home, becomes a war zone, as most homes are, then we know we are in trouble as a human race.

    1. Yes Elizabeth… and tragically this is very much where we are at as a human species. The war zones aren’t just in faraway lands – they are right here in people’s homes, and even more close up and personal, painfully unreconciled – within ourselves.

  79. Abuse is not just rife in our societies today, it is the normal way of being, the normal thing to expect when one returns home, when one leaves home, arrives at work etc. It has become our normal because we have forgotten that being harmonious, open and in connection ought to be the bar – not a high and rare moment, but our everyday – our normal, because it is that.
    In shunning what is most natural to us, we cannot but invite abuse in its place.

  80. Unfortunately abuse is rampant in society today, so much so that much of it sneaks under the radar of being called abuse, because many forms of abuse are now accepted as ‘normal’ behaviour. Anything that is not ‘true’ love is a form of abuse.

  81. Just before reading this blog I messaged a group of friends to say it is gorgeous to feel more openness and transparency with us all and that is exactly what we need of more in the world .. openness and transparency. When I was younger I used to look at houses and wonder what the family was like in the home. It is shocking to hear that people who are abused or harmed in any way is normally by someone they know/family. Only yesterday in the news it was reported that a man who adopted a baby girl had killed her. Also this reminds me of the church “What happens in the home, stays in the home?” in not reporting abuse because they are ‘dealing’ with it. Abuse is never something to keep quite about and the fact that we feel we are hearing and seeing more abuse in the world to me is not because there is more abuse because it has always gone on but that it can no longer be hidden.

  82. The great irony is that whatever goes on behind closed doors – and it’s a heck of a lot, as Sara has pointed out – we are all immersed in anyway. What we think we are living privately or is confined between four walls actually impacts us all.

  83. Just in the same way as there are no four walls that we can conveniently hide behind to indulge an alter ego, so too are there no skeletons that truly ever remain hidden in the closet. Your point about the energy of porn being palpable to children is a great example of the fact that such unloving energies can be felt by others on some level, in some way, so are never conveniently confined to the cloak of clandestinity but accompany us vibrationally wherever we wander.

  84. It’s been interesting to live in a new house waiting for curtains and blinds to be fitted and appreciating how it feels to live in a goldfish bowl – people looking in when you least expect it and as a result, being much more aware of how my actions inside the house might appear to the outside. A great wake-up call to the concept of ‘no four walls’ and recommended as an exercise as it’s reminded me that even without eyes peering in or blinds to keep the eyes out, my actions are still felt outside of the walls as equally as they are enacted within.

  85. That old saying . . . “What happens in the home, stays in the home” . . . is not true as the energy you live in the home you take to work, you take out to the world and can be felt even though you smile and are seen to do all the rights things as we all feel another’s underlying anger, irritation or frustration etc. Energetic responsibility is all of our responsibility if we want to restore harmony to the world.

  86. In truth there are no closed doors and no impermeable walls; how we conduct ourselves at home and with those who are closest to us, our family, affects everything and everyone.

  87. To be truly transparent… This is so desperately what the world needs …to be able to know feel and trust… and to know that this is safe… And that this is the new paradigm.

  88. It doesn’t make sense does it that our hearts are an endless source of love but we don’t live that love, either in or outside the home? It’s truly a love revolution that the Benhayon’s are inspiring, and what awaits is all the simplicity and joy of living that love.

  89. Yes we can either keep our walls up and hide what is going on in truth in our homes and in our bodies, but it is for all of our benefit to open up and be honest about what is going on. Because it is only then that we can step out of it and get the support from others too.

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