The Evil Effect of Jealousy

During the Universal Medicine retreats in Australia and England this year, Serge Benhayon presented that one of the most evil energies to deal with is jealousy.

We talked in groups about our experiences of jealousy as children and how much it affected us in holding back our innate and natural way of being and expression: how much it hurt to feel family members, schoolmates, parents, teachers and others’ jealousy of our natural, loving and powerful way. To feel jealousy is very ugly. To be confronted with jealousy in your own family, by your parents and siblings, is heartbreaking, as these are the people you love and want to be loved by.

As a small child I was very joyful, tender and confident and very much connected with my surroundings. I had a very close relationship with my father, but the relationship between my mother, my sister and I was tainted by jealousy.

This had a huge effect on the way I learned to be and express, holding back more and more of who I truly was. When I was a teenager I lived in disregard, had no confidence in myself or my abilities, and was very nervous and anxious. I have lived a life full of complication in relationships, at work, being unemployed and so on.

Being unemployed often, I did not participate in life fully and was very protected and hard. By living that way, I did not have to deal with jealousy, as there was little to be jealous about. I can see now how I constructed my life in a way to avoid expressing and showing myself in full, therefore preventing other people from confronting me with their jealousy!!!

Through the contact with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have changed in an incredible way. I am much more committed to life and work. I’m more self-confident, expressive, self loving and appreciative of myself.

Through the Universal Medicine retreats I was able to allow myself to feel the effect that jealousy had on me. When I returned from Australia I had a situation where I entered a room of people – dressed beautifully (make up and shining!) – and there was a woman who looked at me once and then turned away. I could name that this was jealousy. Although it had an effect on me, it was great that I allowed myself to clock it so that I could nominate jealousy in the future.

Sometimes I dress down on purpose. I don’t wear a beautiful dress when I feel to and only wear a little make-up instead of what I feel. I do this as I believe that I will be ‘too much’ with my joyful, shining eyes and gorgeous dress and people won’t be able to handle it. This has been interesting for me to observe. I can feel that when I wear clothes that I don’t feel to, it has an effect on the way I bring myself out in the world. I am holding back from saying, “YES, here is the amazing, powerful woman that I am.”

I am learning to not take other people’s reactions personally, but to understand that it comes from their own hurt of denying their own joy and tenderness when they feel that in me. Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.

My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small. I can feel the fact. I played a game to avoid jealousy. If we play small, everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can all bring to the world. In becoming aware of the evil effect jealousy has on us, we can set ourselves free and start living who we truly are. If we set ourselves free, we can offer the reflection of our divine essence and grandness to others.

Imagine another way to live, which is full of love and joy, and it starts with you being who you truly are.

by Anonymous, Germany

Further Reading:
A Life of Comparison
How a Dog Taught Me About the Poison of Jealousy

1,130 thoughts on “The Evil Effect of Jealousy

  1. “If we play small, everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can all bring to the world.” This is so very true, and at some level most of us probably know that but for one reason or another we keep on shrinking instead of living in the fullness of who we naturally are. We are here to shine our light and walk on this earth in our magnificence no matter what comes at us; this is what we were born for and what the world needs from us right now..

  2. We are all comprised of love and are divine in equal amounts to each other at the very core of our being. However, we do not all express this light in equal amounts. Enter jealousy – a force designed to paralyse a person’s expression of their innate divinity (warmth, light, sparkle, pizazz etc.) so those that are not expressing as much as the targeted person, can feel better about themselves when the ‘bright light’ turns its volume down a bit and in so doing will not expose in too great a detail, the utter darkness we keep choosing to live under and in.

  3. It is important for us all learn to accept anothers reactions as their own, as something we can observe so we don’t absorb, cower or react ourselves.

  4. It is just so brilliant to come to know the deep and abiding Love that one actually is, and come to an appreciation of this, and of the others in your life and the world, because once this is established comparison drops and where there is no comparison there can be no jealousy. What an intruding imposter it is!

  5. Once we embrace jealousy with the joy of being who we are we know that jealousy can no longer have a lasting hold on us. This comes with understanding ourselves and others and being able to deeply read a situation – whether it be a pang of jealousy toward another or jealousy coming at us – either which way both are opportunities to learn and grow.

  6. It starts with the knowing inside you.. one that is so true. Once we connect to that truth, we instantly smell jealousy, as it is aimed on that power, as we have been claiming that knowing or something that they also have but not yet have chosen so.

  7. Yes for us to be affected by jealousy we have to have an opening so to speak in how we think about ourselves where there is doubt of the fact we are amazing and that it is ok and natural to be feeling amazing. When we do claim that than we can see jealousy but will never let it in and affect us. It is so great to be aware that it is not just the other person’s fault but also that we have the choice of how we are with it.

  8. ‘Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me’ i was sometime ago confronted with a siblings jealousy, I wasn’t sure at the time what it was but after hearing Serge speak about jealousy I realised what it was, it was then easy to understand that the jealousy was because that had not chosen their own light, so it was easy not to take it personal.

  9. The efforts we go to to avoid feeling all that goes on around is extraordinary. Unfortunately that all it remains though efforts and all that does is add to our levels of exhaustion. When we live who we are, there is no effort and we see much more clearly that what is going on around us is not about us at all, so our earlier efforts have been for no reason at all.

  10. I am learning to see jealousy in full for what it is and I would agree it is one of the most evil energies I am learning to deal with. It feels like that the more I allow myself to see and feel the more intense it is and becomes. Every jealous emotion I have to experience that comes my way I have given out. I know what it is like to be jealous of another and I know that learning to understand jealousy in another is part of my evolution so I may as well get out there and deal with it as it comes as it is inevitable as I live the true, beautiful and delicate woman that I am.

  11. “If we play small, everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can all bring to the world.” Shine on and invite others to be inspired instead of sinking into self-destructive jealousy.

  12. When we feel the jealousy of another because of how amazing we are looking I feel that starting to shrink back into ourselves is almost a knee jerk reaction; I know that I have in the past. But how powerful would it be to be able to hold the amazingness that we are reflecting so steadily that not only the jealous person but everyone else around us can feel what is possible for them too?

  13. The teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon give people an opportunity to explore what’s really going on in their lives. And for those people who feel that there is more to this current way of living, they are offered tools to support them to break old patterns and beliefs that keep them stuck in a very one dimensional way of life.

  14. This is a brilliant blog about jealousy and the negative impact it has on us all. I too grew up in a household full of jealousy and it was definitely frowned upon to be joyful, it came back to me when reading the blog that I would be asked the question when I was young
    “What have you got to be so happy about”
    As children we have a natural joyful nature and when this gets eroded away we end up miserable and take this misery with us into adulthood. To me this is a huge crime against humanity as we all seemingly end up grey and withdrawn from life, just like the characters in the book 1984.

  15. Jealousy is so destructive. It can ruin someone’s career, it can make family life hell, it causes deep separation between people, and most of all it will damage the one who employs it as a side-kick. Being aware now that there was a time when jealousy was not part of human nature and was introduced to trip us up, it seems even more ridiculous that jealousy could be part of our daily lives.

  16. Until we are honest about the presence of jealousy in our lives, either directed at us or from us to others, we will not be able to feel how devastating it is and how much it can get in the way of us being our full,glorious selves.

  17. The true evil of jealously is exposed here lovingly with an understanding that allows us to change everything and shine out and be who we truly are. What an inspiration to live and love shining brightly and brings a joyfulness in this magically and true healing and acceptance to our lives.

  18. Thank you Anonymous for all you have shared. I appreciated this line “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.” I am sure I felt like this as a child as the force of jealousy felt in the body from another is so awful one can easily construct that as a kind of disapproval if not punishment. We clock that our being in the fullness of ourselves and shining is what attracts another’s jealousy and we learn to shut off our inner connection. As an adult as I’ve explored this I’ve also felt the key is not to take it personally, and to lighten up about it and continue on being as consistent in my love and joy as possible. Jealousy is a sure sign of the comfort we have chosen to be less, instead of living the love and powerful light we naturally are as souls.

  19. The purpose of jealousy is to diminish the volume of light lived on earth, and the antidote for jealousy is to bring more and more love through the way we live, as such reflecting to all the light we are in essence. In our connection to our Soul, to who we are, the power of our reflection is everything and the fury of jealousy is extinguished to a puff of smoke that very quickly dissipates into nothingness.

    1. The purpose of reflecting our light without any diminishing is so that everyone sees that this light is also within them. With that there is no jealousy.

  20. Thank you for giving such rich and clear insight about jealously as it is often the key to why we avoid standing in our power. So we free our way when we nominate and continue to speak and stand in our power. We will understand ourselves and others more truly..

  21. I have been very good at playing small to avoid any attention. Slipping under the radar has almost been a way of life. I’ve started to break that pattern now and learning to deal with peoples reaction of me. It’s not that I’m any more special than the next person, as they would have jealousy pointed at them all the time too, it’s just that I realised that I’m really cutting my nose off to spite my face when I dumb myself down. NO one wins at that game.

  22. This is a brilliant blog about jealousy and its affect on us. How it taints our childhood and squashes that innate beauty we naturally have within us all. To see it as an energy coming through someone and not the person themselves does take the sting out of it. I have grown so much in my self awareness that when I’m confronted with jealousy now that it’s just like water running off a duck’s back, it doesn’t affect me any more.

  23. Struck on re-reading this, how our initial experiences of jealousy within family can set us up for a lifetime of not fully living our amazingness for fear of inciting such response in others. So it’s only by beginning to accept ourselves in full that we can start to break the pattern of dressing down, both physically and metaphorically.

    1. Cathy I agree, that’s why conversations like this are so important, as when we were children we were undeniably feeling the effects of jealousy and making decisions that would potentially affect our whole life. Working through it together is very healing as we can be open and honest about it and begin the process of examining not just how it has affected us, but the next steps to remain in connection to our essence and soul despite the presence of jealousy.

  24. Great point about how insidious jealousy is, because it’s not just about keeping us lesser, dumbing us down so we don’t stand out and thereby incur ridicule, rejection or hurt. No. Jealousy has as its target those who could otherwise be inspired by the way we’re choosing to be, to live, to look, to communicate, keeping them lesser so they know no different. That’s the real evil behind jealousy.

  25. I agree with the comment above posted by Heather, when you are stuck in jealousy, wanting what another has…it takes you away from being present with yourself, and so keeps you stuck in a pattern of being less than who you truly are.

  26. Jealousy is often described as wanting what another has, but when you are stuck in that jealousy you cannot be with yourself, and so you cannot develop in life towards the way you want your life to be (i.e. what you were jealous of in the first place).

  27. It’s great to see conversations around this as jealousy is not something you can simply look at once or glance at and expect it to be gone. As I was just reading on there is more and more to jealousy then we or I currently imagine. I have looked at it at times but then not kept exploring and really feeling what was happening in and around me. I love reading things like this as it feels like it really supports me to see more, to see deeper into what plays out in my everyday.

  28. And who is actually deciding that we are too much for a person or group? This is a judgement that holds the space already limited – whilst actually we only have to be who we are – how can that be too much?…

  29. I was a master at trying to hide my light, and even though I did a pretty good job of it, I could never dull it completely. I now embrace and adore my light – Me. I can still try to dull it down if I feel jealousy from another but more and more often my deepening love of myself supports me to stay steady in the onslaught and simply reflect love and stillness, understanding and compassion.

  30. What I have come to understand about jealousy is that there is a emptiness in the person and in that state an energy can come through them, so it’s not them just an energy they are allowing through. I am learning to observe the energy not the person and in this way I don’t take it personally. This is a huge life lesson to learn because as a child I was devastated by jealousy coming from my family and in reaction kept my self-small so as not to be seen.

  31. yes, it’s so true that if we all play small, then where on earth will be get the inspiration to we all of who we are. Most of us are holding so much back, so much potential that could really change the face of current society which, let’s be honest, is pretty uninspiring.

  32. Jealousy I imagine has kept many of us small, it is important not to let it affect us so we can be our amazing self for all to see, ‘we can offer the reflection of our divine essence and grandness to others.’

  33. What if we knew when we listen to our body honestly that jealousy and comparison is an extremely destructive energy that causes sickness and disease, would we still give ourselves the excuse to be so controlled by our hurts and make jealousy and comparison as something so common place in life? Holding onto our hurts is our guarded way of living life, choosing to not see the truth of the world, the immense love that is in the world, because we choose to first hold back our enormous love. This is the first comparison–it is that we have it with our true self.

  34. ‘I am learning to not take other people’s reactions personally, but to understand that it comes from their own hurt of denying their own joy and tenderness when they feel that in me.’ Coming to that place of understanding allows a greater overview of any situation.

  35. Just imagine if we were told from a very young age that “If we play small, everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can all bring to the world”, how very differently our young would look at life compared to what most of us have. Playing small for fear of being hurt actually hurts us, it hurts others and the world misses out on the amazingness that we naturally are.

  36. This is a topic we seldom talk about, because its one of those feeling that we don’t like to admit we have towards others, yet we know it is rife. Its great learning not to take jealously from others seriously and drop using it as a reason to keep ourselves small. True, it doesn’t feel nice, but not fully expressing and dumbing ourselves down hurts even more.

  37. De-personalising jealousy is an enormous and important step for us to make and this we can only do when we pan out and see that jealousy is a force that comes ‘through’ people and not ‘from’ them, with the ill intent to dismantle our relationship with all the is true, loving and Divine. Forget nuclear weapons, it is the most destructive force we have to reckon with on planet Earth. And reckon with it we must, in order to shake the hold this force has had over us all for so long.

  38. “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me” and once we learn to be the observant in life and not react we become empowered as there is nothing more healing than being who we truly are.

  39. Our relationship with jealously can be one where we choose it and send it in daggers at another, or another jealous and sending daggers at us. Either way it is degrading and disempowering of both people. No one can win with jealously. It is therefore super important to have blogs such as this one that call it out and offer practical ways to see it, understand it, but to not drop to its force, instead remain full and holding of ourselves and the absolute divine essence within.

    1. I agree Nikki, it’s has a definite and very negative effect on the body whether it’s coming through ourselves or through another at us.

  40. To feel jealousy is certainly ugly Anonymous. As you have stated we can beat jealous feelings by simply living love, truth and from our innate wisdom;
    “Imagine another way to live, which is full of love and joy, and it starts with you being who you truly are”.

  41. Being honest about jealousy in families between parents and siblings is huge. Most of the time we do not want to look at it as it would expose the lack of true love we hold for each other and expose the lies we live with that we accept has true.

  42. I notice how often I change how I am to accommodate others reactions but I am finding the more present I am with myself the less tired I get and the more able I am to observe life going on around me rather than react to it.

  43. a great blog about why we hide from jealousy – a force which is designed to make us renounce our divinity and stop expressing that we are more than human – which is why jealousy originated from those that had already shut down such and were not wanting the reflection of being grander.

  44. ‘Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me’ this is so powerful because we lose our connection with ourself when we are constantly measuring how much of ourselves we can reveal. Accepting that jealousy exists but that this does not mean I need to alter who I am is key to deepening my relationship with myself and building a foundation of love to support me through life.

  45. I am recognising more and more how I kept myself small and played games to avoid feeling jealousy from others, this is not only futile but then feeds my jealousy when I meet others who have made different choices. I spent years in denial of having jealousy in my life and it is has been challenging to address it but I am appreciating more and more what I and others have to offer and this is a glorious confirmation of the power of love which wins over jealousy every time.

    1. If we all appreciated the unique and much needed qualities that we bring then comparison and jealousy would be far less rife.

      1. I agree Fiona, appreciation of myself has been the antidote to stop my jealously towards others.

  46. Jealousy is evil. Receiving it feels awful and feeling it for another feels just as awful. Wanting what others have or feeling like we need to hide so that others don’t feel inadequate etc is just a complete set up to keeping us all seperate from eachother. Appreciating ourselves is the only antidote to jealousy.

  47. Jealousy happens in a nanosecond and let’s face it, we don’t want to feel it because it feels awful at both ends. When jealousy comes our way, we can either shrink from it, or stay in our essence and let the person who is jealous feel that they too are the same if they so choose to be.

  48. I too played small to avoid jealousy but now, when I can feel jealousy towards another from myself I’m like hold on, where I have been playing small? Seeing how playing small actually cripples me and makes me prone to being jealous of another who’s chosen to be themselves and not hold back. So now I see playing small as toxic and not just for this reason but for not lighting the way for others to see who they truly are. Now I’m more open to understanding jealousy and that, though it can be an uncomfortable process, it can be one where a person reconnects to the pain of shutting their equal beauty down and decides to simply be themselves.

  49. We need to bring this out in the open more and more, so thank you. Jealousy is a hideous evil act and I have been both the receiver and the giver and if I am honest, it feels awful in both cases. This week I was jealous of another and went to travel down the evil path with a whole set of relentless thoughts, and before I got too far down that rabbit hole and I was like WOAH….STOP right there…this person just made different choices to you, they chose XYZ and you did not, that is why you are feeling jealous right now. It still stung but I took more responsibility for my choices instead of flinging them onto another in the form of jealousy.

  50. Jealousy is hideous to feel as the receiver of jealousy and the one who is jealous. I’m very aware of what it feels like to feel jealous – a shrinking, tightening feeling and I cannot stand what I see before me because I am not choosing what the other person has chosen for myself. However, being on the receiving end of jealousy is what we all do not want to feel, and then do not want to admit we feel because it usually comes from those we love. But if we don’t take it personally and see it as someone furious with themselves for not making the same choices, then it can’t hurt us, and we can have understanding towards them.

  51. It is so great to not take jealousy (or anything!) personally Anonymous – I really appreciate what you have said in this blog, and I have become aware in the last couple of years how I dumbed myself down so as not to attract it. Jealousy certainly has a huge capacity to be destructive in our lives, whether one is jealous or is its target. the destruction works either way. I’m having to prepare Othello for a student today and its extraordinary how many lives just one person being jealous can affect.

  52. On reflection on my past choices, I can see clearly now what was actually jealousy being expressed towards me, that I re-interpretted to feel that there was something wrong with me and went to great lengths to ensure that I remained as invisible as possible to avoid this discomfort. The result being to bring great harm to myself and others by holding back expression, incase of being misunderstood or causing more jealousy coming at me. Re-connection with myself has been great to bring a true healing to this.

  53. I relate to the making sure there is nothing for people to be jealous of. I used to play the little girl, make mistakes, be aloof, fumble and act like I was incapable all to avoid jealousy. Now I see how damaging it is to hold back who I am on my body and the illness and disease that results as well.

    1. I can so relate to what you have said Aimee – I was continually doing the same, acting like I was a bit of an idiot and dimming and dumbing down all that I am. Whoa! Now I gradually let out this beautiful loving magnificent being inside of me and calibrating less and less.

    2. Aimee, so did I and I took on comments from friends which were jealous remarks and made myself less so that I didn’t shine or radiate my inner beauty.

  54. “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me”.Which means self doubt creeps in and the game of playing small starts all over again doesn’t it?

  55. This is a key step for healing the long term effect of jealousy felt from others. and the poison accumulated in the body by thinking there is always something wrong with us, rather than the perpetrator of the jealousy, can be released from the body.
    “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me”.

  56. What is it about jealousy that makes us want to recoil and contract? Because to me a jealous comment or look can hurt deeper than a punch.

  57. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small. I can feel the fact. I played a game to avoid jealousy.’ Well said and very true, I have played the game of being small for most of my life and the way to heal this pattern has been to appreciate and accept my qualities and to begin to walk in the power and strength of who I truly am – it’s a forever deepening process that is worth choosing everyday.

  58. It is one thing to feel and expose the jealousy coming towards us but another to admit the underlying jealousy that is within us. For such a while although uncomfortable it was easy to nominate and see it for what it was the jealousy coming towards me but not so easy to see that it was a reflection of the jealousy within me. By choosing self love we can heal the jealousy within us.

  59. If jealousy is as described in this article in my words, a very rough and suppressing feeling then why would we choose to take it on? I mean if, which I agree with, jealous effects us so greatly or puts so much pressure on us why would we choose at any moment to take it on? What I am saying is that this article takes us to how jealousy feels and rightly so. But if we can feel all that jealousy is and all that it does then it shouldn’t enter us. Like the article highlights, “I am learning to not take other people’s reactions personally, but to understand that it comes from their own hurt of denying their own joy and tenderness when they feel that in me.” If there is a part we are learning when it comes to something like jealousy and we have been taking it on then there is a part jealousy plays in our life. The only way to carry something is from a need from us to try and ‘protect’ it. I would say taking in and on jealousy would be hiding the fact that this is how we are as well with others. In other words we are seemingly protecting a behaviour in ourselves that directly relates to jealousy. It’s worth considering deeper why things are like they are and unfolding our part as this is the way to heal it for all.

  60. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small’ – So true, and we spend our whole lives playing ‘human’ when actually our cells and particles are made from something much much grander…

  61. How sad and devastating it can feel when we have jealousy within our own homes coming through the people who are there to love and support us. It is something that is rarely spoken about or given much importance and yet it is rife within our homes.

  62. People don’t have to say anything you can just feel the jealousy rippling off them. I have dealt with other peoples jealousy by caring greatly for myself this has built up a trust in my body that I am okay no matter what is happening externally. I never used to be like this and I live such a different way of life thanks to the support of Serge Benhayon and the Universal practitioners, who have supported me to rebuild my confidence in myself and know I am worth taking care of. Now it’s taking that level of care deeper into my body which feels beautiful and oh so natural.

  63. “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.” I love this sentence as this can be ‘applied’ to any situation where self-doubt wants to creep in.

  64. It is indeed incredible and horrible how one can construct a whole life in avoiding jealousy. I personally didn’t realised the effect jealousy had on me at a young age. From a shining, playful and very open boy to a contracted shy boy: just to avoid jealousy and the rage that followed it which was openly direct towards me.
    Seen it and now letting it go.

  65. I became aware of both sides a clear moment when i go jealous and I felt how that energy was like a racket towards the other person and in a split second the other made herself contracted, small because she felt that enegry coming her way. It was shocking to feel how evil it is to feel jealous. I learned to see how it is to change the feeling of jealousy into a different attitude towards people who live more their light and joy than me. To see them as an example and inspiration in how to go.
    And also I felt how many women are having jealous feelings towards me and how hurtful that is to feel, it is deeply painful especially if they are close friends. But it is important to open up to feel it otherwise it makes us to stay small.

  66. Wow – this brought another dimension to my vision. As you just exposed a new angle of why we hold back and what we are afraid of to receive and want to avoid exposure. As this sentence so well shows: ‘I can see now how I constructed my life in a way to avoid expressing and showing myself in full, therefore preventing other people from confronting me with their jealousy!!!’ Thank you for showing your truth and no longer hiding it, so we can all learn from it and stop numbing ourselves to not feel any more.

  67. I can see the relationship I and we all have with jealousy. It’s great to name it, see it and heal it if you get that far and also recognise the only way you see it truly is to understand how you have wielded it over another. It’s one thing to see jealousy coming your way an another seeing to coming from you. Like with anything life is never a one way street and jealousy is no different. We can name jealousy or see jealousy which is great and equally do we ‘go to town’ to put a stop to it once and for all. There are many steps for us to walk back through in life and jealousy is one of them. You don’t need to go into it but we need to feel how it works and equally how it doesn’t make sense. Jealousy is very personal to us and how it has impacted on us and how we have affected others is a great balance to bring to everyone.

  68. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small.’ I wonder how many of us have played this game? I certainly have and I can feel there are no winners in life when we play it small. If we were a star would we choose to dim our light or sparkle brightly no matter what, knowing that light would be reflected everywhere?

  69. It is huge to start realising how can use every minute to reinforce the smallness, the hiding and the self-dismissal such that it becomes our normal, and that is what we identify as oursleves, when in fact it not truly us at all – just a deliberate ploy to avoid the immense beauty, power and grandness of who we truly are and where we are from. So why do we avoid this? is it because we don’t like the reactions or jealousy from others, or is it because we don’t want to relinquish the identity we have become comfortable and familiar with – though if we chose to let it go we would remember what it is to live truly free and in true harmony with all.

  70. We can only be ‘too much’ for the spirit, who wants to keep us trapped in issues and being less than who we are. There is never ‘too much’ for the limitless soul, which rejoices in every expression of divinity.

  71. “Imagine another way to live, which is full of love and joy, and it starts with you being who you truly are” I would not have thought this possible not that long ago but I now know the power of what it means to truly be myself and live this and the immense joy that this brings. It is always a learning process but the more I am able to hold myself in all situations and not lessen myself or try to hide the more I can feel how much life takes on a new meaning and things like jealousy no longer have the same affect. Jealousy is a world wide problem and it would be great if we talked more openly about things like this in our schools so it is exposed and understood more deeply..

  72. To be able to notice jealousy when it is sent your way is important. It is not a sign to dismiss the other person, but a “note to self” to say that is not a loving response and choose not to take it onboard or diminish in any way.

  73. The evil effects of jealousy comes in different forms, some are very obvious to spot and others are disguised in niceness which is not so obvious. I am still learning to observe when I experience jealousy and to not react or take it personally. Learning to read the energetic quality of what is being expressed and trust what I feel is the best way to expose jealousy and not get affected.

  74. ‘Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.’

    Self-doubt goes hand-in-hand with jealousy… together these evils can undermine us enormously. Recognising what we feel when jealously comes our way and understanding the reaction behind it – and staying solid within ourselves – is key to letting these twin forces wash over us rather than change us in any way. A huge thanks to Serge Benhayon for sharing his understanding of the dynamics at play. I couldn’t have got there without his, and Natalie Benhayon’s, presentations on this subject.

  75. Understanding jealousy from the perspective that it confirms we are ‘showing ourselves in full’ to another helps enormously to deal with the tension it creates. A work in progress for me I have to say, but getting easier to recognise it and name it when it occurs. Also easier to feel it arise in me at times and understand what it is too.

  76. We all clock moments of jealousy. When we do, we can know we’re bringing all of who we are – or at least an aspect of ourselves the other has yet to master.

    1. We can either react to receiving jealousy or choose to understand where it comes from, read and observe it for what it is. I have heard a wise person share that we could take someone being jealous of us as a compliment, I like this, it is a playful way of looking at jealousy.

  77. Thank you Anonymous for speaking up about the evil force of jealousy. I too have played small throughout my life in many ways to avoid feeling hits of jealousy, but have realised that playing small is a far bigger hit to take. For not only are we forgoing being ourselves, diminishing our greatness, we are also denying others being blessed by the reflection of who we all equally are in essence. This is the destructive impact that jealousy has on us all. We are when in connection to our essence we are no match for any evil force that may come our way and instead reflect the way we can truly live in the equalness that we already naturally are .

  78. On feeling just how much I love people, I know when I feel jealous that I have stepped away from myself, and allowed myself to choose to be jealous. Yes, big words, ‘allowed and choose’, but the strength in knowing this about myself, is the gold, because it I know without doubt I have choice. And it is just 1 breath and I am back fully loving people again. This is the power we all have within.

  79. We don’t realise how much we are actually affected by jealousy and we even metamorphose ourselves into something else just in order to avoid feeling that fury. It is very painful to feel the gap we create between the grandness of who we are and the shrink-to-fit version of ourselves. We do know how magnificent we are in truth no matter how small we portray ourselves to be.

  80. “Living in a way so that there is little to be jealous about” – yes, I can relate to that and the way you have worded it has just helped me to look a little deeper into my own behaviours and patterns.

  81. I would say since that particular UK retreat I have still resisted and avoided feeling the hurt of having jealousy directed at me. While I can say I have grown in myself and learnt to express my innately loving self more it is measured and controlled. When I make statements such as ‘I don’t want to walk in my light’ it physically hurts my body. Reading this blog makes me wonder if this reaction in me is even mine in the first place or is it from another. Thank you.

  82. I can relate to avoiding wearing something extra nice or wearing make up to avoid being ‘too much’. It’s a work in progress to let this go, but I can absolutely see just how damaging it is to me and everyone around me when I choose to hold back. When I see someone express themselves in full, it inspires me to do the same, hence the importance our responsibility is to be ourselves.

  83. That to me is the game that is being played here and it’s a very uneven game because the energy coming through the people that are jealous wants us to remain small and to avoid the divineness we all come from. We have all lost our ability to read energy and if we could reconnect to this natural ability we would not be at such a disadvantage, but as it is the Astral plane runs rings around us because they know the game is all about energy, they know it’s really difficult for us to not be affected especially when the energy is coming from a family member because our guard is down so to say. These are the people that are meant to love us not harm us …right!

  84. People don’t even have to say anything, just by how they move they can be expressing jealousy or comparison. They is no way that, when looked at the overall evil effects jealously has on us and others, that there could be any justification summed in the slightest to show that jealousy or comparison. Yet it is rife.. so much so that it lies in almost ever facet of life from the playground at school to the sports field, to even the family dinner table. We feel this way about ourselves and others though simply because it is not the norm to appreciate and celebrate others but equally ourselves for how awesome we naturally can be!

  85. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small.’ – story of my life!
    Playing small to fit in has been my tactic to avoid jealousy. But in that, I lost the sense of who I was and always felt insecure around people. I look at jealousy differently now, like I must be doing something right to make people jealous. It still feels yuk, but I understand more.

    1. I can so relate to your comment Rachel E. Loosing the sense of who we are too me was devastating because it felt as though I had lost my connection to God. Now I know this is just a trick being played by an as yet unseen energy that does not want me or any of us to remember God or our relationship with him and what he truly represents to all of us. When we all reconnect back to the essence and Glory that we all come from we will live in brotherhood where there is no jealousy, abuse, competition where decency and respect towards each other will have their true meaning again.

  86. there is another deliberate misinterpretation of glory.. in the insecurity of one’s emptiness and separation there is the drive to appear better than another -either by intellect, beauty, efficiency, charisma, uber-coolness – but underlying this is a wish to be recognised as superior as an attempt to not expose the deeper inferiority or emptiness felt within. But what we can reflect is true glory which presents the possibility of and invitation to the equal glory for all.

  87. yes I agree, we have misinterpreted the jealousy coming towards us and reacted by contraction and diminishing of ourselves rather that seeing that jealousy is targetted outwards but in fact it is because of another’s own choices to not live what they knew deep down to be true. and the diminishing of ourselves diminishes all.

  88. Anonymous, on reading your blog I realise that I was playing a similar game of avoiding jealousy having felt it come at me when I was young and making a choice to play small so as to not attract it. Serge Benhayon has shared that jealousy arises due to the fact that we have not made the choices we see another doing and, having experienced this in myself, I now have a greater understanding of why people get jealous and can no longer use that as an excuse to stay small.

  89. It is absolutely life changing to come to a place where you can understand and accept that another persons reactions are theirs and can only affect you if you allow them to. Our reaction to them is our choice to play small and as you said when we do this ‘everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can bring to the world’.

  90. The understanding that a person’s reactions, whether that be frustration, anger, jealousy, even being “nice” belong 100% to that person and are nothing to do with you will change your life.

    1. Absolutely. And furthermore we can say that they do not even belong to the person in question as all these emotions are fed into them, as they can be to us, from an external force that needs only a minor contraction (holding back the depth of who we are) in order to enter and thus have its ‘wicked way’. This is not to say that we are not 100% responsible for allowing such a force through, but just to say there is more at play here then we at times allow ourselves to humanly see and feel. We are but puppets to the source of energy we align to, and there are only ever two; ‘all that is love’ and ‘all that is not’.

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