The Evil Effect of Jealousy

During the Universal Medicine retreats in Australia and England this year, Serge Benhayon presented that one of the most evil energies to deal with is jealousy.

We talked in groups about our experiences of jealousy as children and how much it affected us in holding back our innate and natural way of being and expression: how much it hurt to feel family members, schoolmates, parents, teachers and others’ jealousy of our natural, loving and powerful way. To feel jealousy is very ugly. To be confronted with jealousy in your own family, by your parents and siblings, is heartbreaking, as these are the people you love and want to be loved by.

As a small child I was very joyful, tender and confident and very much connected with my surroundings. I had a very close relationship with my father, but the relationship between my mother, my sister and I was tainted by jealousy.

This had a huge effect on the way I learned to be and express, holding back more and more of who I truly was. When I was a teenager I lived in disregard, had no confidence in myself or my abilities, and was very nervous and anxious. I have lived a life full of complication in relationships, at work, being unemployed and so on.

Being unemployed often, I did not participate in life fully and was very protected and hard. By living that way, I did not have to deal with jealousy, as there was little to be jealous about. I can see now how I constructed my life in a way to avoid expressing and showing myself in full, therefore preventing other people from confronting me with their jealousy!!!

Through the contact with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have changed in an incredible way. I am much more committed to life and work. I’m more self-confident, expressive, self loving and appreciative of myself.

Through the Universal Medicine retreats I was able to allow myself to feel the effect that jealousy had on me. When I returned from Australia I had a situation where I entered a room of people – dressed beautifully (make up and shining!) – and there was a woman who looked at me once and then turned away. I could name that this was jealousy. Although it had an effect on me, it was great that I allowed myself to clock it so that I could nominate jealousy in the future.

Sometimes I dress down on purpose. I don’t wear a beautiful dress when I feel to and only wear a little make-up instead of what I feel. I do this as I believe that I will be ‘too much’ with my joyful, shining eyes and gorgeous dress and people won’t be able to handle it. This has been interesting for me to observe. I can feel that when I wear clothes that I don’t feel to, it has an effect on the way I bring myself out in the world. I am holding back from saying, “YES, here is the amazing, powerful woman that I am.”

I am learning to not take other people’s reactions personally, but to understand that it comes from their own hurt of denying their own joy and tenderness when they feel that in me. Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.

My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small. I can feel the fact. I played a game to avoid jealousy. If we play small, everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can all bring to the world. In becoming aware of the evil effect jealousy has on us, we can set ourselves free and start living who we truly are. If we set ourselves free, we can offer the reflection of our divine essence and grandness to others.

Imagine another way to live, which is full of love and joy, and it starts with you being who you truly are.

by Anonymous, Germany

Further Reading:
A Life of Comparison
How a Dog Taught Me About the Poison of Jealousy

1,053 thoughts on “The Evil Effect of Jealousy

  1. The understanding that a person’s reactions, whether that be frustration, anger, jealousy, even being “nice” belong 100% to that person and are nothing to do with you will change your life.

  2. It is absolutely life changing to come to a place where you can understand and accept that another persons reactions are theirs and can only affect you if you allow them to. Our reaction to them is our choice to play small and as you said when we do this ‘everybody misses out on the amazing reflection we can bring to the world’.

  3. Anonymous, on reading your blog I realise that I was playing a similar game of avoiding jealousy having felt it come at me when I was young and making a choice to play small so as to not attract it. Serge Benhayon has shared that jealousy arises due to the fact that we have not made the choices we see another doing and, having experienced this in myself, I now have a greater understanding of why people get jealous and can no longer use that as an excuse to stay small.

  4. yes I agree, we have misinterpreted the jealousy coming towards us and reacted by contraction and diminishing of ourselves rather that seeing that jealousy is targetted outwards but in fact it is because of another’s own choices to not live what they knew deep down to be true. and the diminishing of ourselves diminishes all.

  5. there is another deliberate misinterpretation of glory.. in the insecurity of one’s emptiness and separation there is the drive to appear better than another -either by intellect, beauty, efficiency, charisma, uber-coolness – but underlying this is a wish to be recognised as superior as an attempt to not expose the deeper inferiority or emptiness felt within. But what we can reflect is true glory which presents the possibility of and invitation to the equal glory for all.

  6. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small.’ – story of my life!
    Playing small to fit in has been my tactic to avoid jealousy. But in that, I lost the sense of who I was and always felt insecure around people. I look at jealousy differently now, like I must be doing something right to make people jealous. It still feels yuk, but I understand more.

  7. People don’t even have to say anything, just by how they move they can be expressing jealousy or comparison. They is no way that, when looked at the overall evil effects jealously has on us and others, that there could be any justification summed in the slightest to show that jealousy or comparison. Yet it is rife.. so much so that it lies in almost ever facet of life from the playground at school to the sports field, to even the family dinner table. We feel this way about ourselves and others though simply because it is not the norm to appreciate and celebrate others but equally ourselves for how awesome we naturally can be!

  8. That to me is the game that is being played here and it’s a very uneven game because the energy coming through the people that are jealous wants us to remain small and to avoid the divineness we all come from. We have all lost our ability to read energy and if we could reconnect to this natural ability we would not be at such a disadvantage, but as it is the Astral plane runs rings around us because they know the game is all about energy, they know it’s really difficult for us to not be affected especially when the energy is coming from a family member because our guard is down so to say. These are the people that are meant to love us not harm us …right!

  9. I can relate to avoiding wearing something extra nice or wearing make up to avoid being ‘too much’. It’s a work in progress to let this go, but I can absolutely see just how damaging it is to me and everyone around me when I choose to hold back. When I see someone express themselves in full, it inspires me to do the same, hence the importance our responsibility is to be ourselves.

  10. I would say since that particular UK retreat I have still resisted and avoided feeling the hurt of having jealousy directed at me. While I can say I have grown in myself and learnt to express my innately loving self more it is measured and controlled. When I make statements such as ‘I don’t want to walk in my light’ it physically hurts my body. Reading this blog makes me wonder if this reaction in me is even mine in the first place or is it from another. Thank you.

  11. “Living in a way so that there is little to be jealous about” – yes, I can relate to that and the way you have worded it has just helped me to look a little deeper into my own behaviours and patterns.

  12. We don’t realise how much we are actually affected by jealousy and we even metamorphose ourselves into something else just in order to avoid feeling that fury. It is very painful to feel the gap we create between the grandness of who we are and the shrink-to-fit version of ourselves. We do know how magnificent we are in truth no matter how small we portray ourselves to be.

  13. On feeling just how much I love people, I know when I feel jealous that I have stepped away from myself, and allowed myself to choose to be jealous. Yes, big words, ‘allowed and choose’, but the strength in knowing this about myself, is the gold, because it I know without doubt I have choice. And it is just 1 breath and I am back fully loving people again. This is the power we all have within.

  14. Thank you Anonymous for speaking up about the evil force of jealousy. I too have played small throughout my life in many ways to avoid feeling hits of jealousy, but have realised that playing small is a far bigger hit to take. For not only are we forgoing being ourselves, diminishing our greatness, we are also denying others being blessed by the reflection of who we all equally are in essence. This is the destructive impact that jealousy has on us all. We are when in connection to our essence we are no match for any evil force that may come our way and instead reflect the way we can truly live in the equalness that we already naturally are .

  15. We all clock moments of jealousy. When we do, we can know we’re bringing all of who we are – or at least an aspect of ourselves the other has yet to master.

    1. We can either react to receiving jealousy or choose to understand where it comes from, read and observe it for what it is. I have heard a wise person share that we could take someone being jealous of us as a compliment, I like this, it is a playful way of looking at jealousy.

  16. Understanding jealousy from the perspective that it confirms we are ‘showing ourselves in full’ to another helps enormously to deal with the tension it creates. A work in progress for me I have to say, but getting easier to recognise it and name it when it occurs. Also easier to feel it arise in me at times and understand what it is too.

  17. ‘Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.’

    Self-doubt goes hand-in-hand with jealousy… together these evils can undermine us enormously. Recognising what we feel when jealously comes our way and understanding the reaction behind it – and staying solid within ourselves – is key to letting these twin forces wash over us rather than change us in any way. A huge thanks to Serge Benhayon for sharing his understanding of the dynamics at play. I couldn’t have got there without his, and Natalie Benhayon’s, presentations on this subject.

  18. The evil effects of jealousy comes in different forms, some are very obvious to spot and others are disguised in niceness which is not so obvious. I am still learning to observe when I experience jealousy and to not react or take it personally. Learning to read the energetic quality of what is being expressed and trust what I feel is the best way to expose jealousy and not get affected.

  19. To be able to notice jealousy when it is sent your way is important. It is not a sign to dismiss the other person, but a “note to self” to say that is not a loving response and choose not to take it onboard or diminish in any way.

  20. “Imagine another way to live, which is full of love and joy, and it starts with you being who you truly are” I would not have thought this possible not that long ago but I now know the power of what it means to truly be myself and live this and the immense joy that this brings. It is always a learning process but the more I am able to hold myself in all situations and not lessen myself or try to hide the more I can feel how much life takes on a new meaning and things like jealousy no longer have the same affect. Jealousy is a world wide problem and it would be great if we talked more openly about things like this in our schools so it is exposed and understood more deeply..

  21. We can only be ‘too much’ for the spirit, who wants to keep us trapped in issues and being less than who we are. There is never ‘too much’ for the limitless soul, which rejoices in every expression of divinity.

  22. It is huge to start realising how can use every minute to reinforce the smallness, the hiding and the self-dismissal such that it becomes our normal, and that is what we identify as oursleves, when in fact it not truly us at all – just a deliberate ploy to avoid the immense beauty, power and grandness of who we truly are and where we are from. So why do we avoid this? is it because we don’t like the reactions or jealousy from others, or is it because we don’t want to relinquish the identity we have become comfortable and familiar with – though if we chose to let it go we would remember what it is to live truly free and in true harmony with all.

  23. ‘My strategy was to keep myself small, but I was never small.’ I wonder how many of us have played this game? I certainly have and I can feel there are no winners in life when we play it small. If we were a star would we choose to dim our light or sparkle brightly no matter what, knowing that light would be reflected everywhere?

  24. I can see the relationship I and we all have with jealousy. It’s great to name it, see it and heal it if you get that far and also recognise the only way you see it truly is to understand how you have wielded it over another. It’s one thing to see jealousy coming your way an another seeing to coming from you. Like with anything life is never a one way street and jealousy is no different. We can name jealousy or see jealousy which is great and equally do we ‘go to town’ to put a stop to it once and for all. There are many steps for us to walk back through in life and jealousy is one of them. You don’t need to go into it but we need to feel how it works and equally how it doesn’t make sense. Jealousy is very personal to us and how it has impacted on us and how we have affected others is a great balance to bring to everyone.

  25. Wow – this brought another dimension to my vision. As you just exposed a new angle of why we hold back and what we are afraid of to receive and want to avoid exposure. As this sentence so well shows: ‘I can see now how I constructed my life in a way to avoid expressing and showing myself in full, therefore preventing other people from confronting me with their jealousy!!!’ Thank you for showing your truth and no longer hiding it, so we can all learn from it and stop numbing ourselves to not feel any more.

  26. I became aware of both sides a clear moment when i go jealous and I felt how that energy was like a racket towards the other person and in a split second the other made herself contracted, small because she felt that enegry coming her way. It was shocking to feel how evil it is to feel jealous. I learned to see how it is to change the feeling of jealousy into a different attitude towards people who live more their light and joy than me. To see them as an example and inspiration in how to go.
    And also I felt how many women are having jealous feelings towards me and how hurtful that is to feel, it is deeply painful especially if they are close friends. But it is important to open up to feel it otherwise it makes us to stay small.

  27. It is indeed incredible and horrible how one can construct a whole life in avoiding jealousy. I personally didn’t realised the effect jealousy had on me at a young age. From a shining, playful and very open boy to a contracted shy boy: just to avoid jealousy and the rage that followed it which was openly direct towards me.
    Seen it and now letting it go.

  28. “Learning not to take people’s jealousy personally means giving myself the permission to be me, as I don’t need to react and to start attacking myself, thinking there is something wrong with me.” I love this sentence as this can be ‘applied’ to any situation where self-doubt wants to creep in.

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