Living From My Inner Knowing

It is early in the morning, a candle is burning next to me and I am surrounded by the magical stillness of the woods amidst which our house is located. I can feel the world around me waking up, a noise every now and then, some traffic on our little country lane, the first glimpse of dawn…

My body is warm, gradually preparing for the tasks of the day and feeling so yummy today. Still, something in me tries to suggest that I am wrong as I have not done what I had thought needed to be done this morning.

Yet I feel perfectly at ease and I know that everything is right just as it is. What just dawned on me is that I am rhythmically living each moment – living, instead of trying to master life.

Before, there were endless lists – written down or just imagined – packed with things to do and time limits by when they should be completed. This meant constant stress and tension; the feeling of failure was a well-known companion.

I would never meet my expectations.

I would override what I felt would be good to do in favour of what was next on my lists.

Over the last month I have developed a different approach. Now there still is a constant rhythm in my life, like going to bed early and getting up early and some of the basic structures of my day, but this rhythm is only followed because I can feel how much it supports me.

I could not let go of my beloved lists instantly and so turned them from ‘to do lists’ into ‘might be done’ lists – this took enormous pressure out of my life. These new lists now help me remember things that do need to be done, but I am not at their mercy anymore.

Now I will feel what needs to be done next and will go for it, even if my mind might try to tell me that this cannot be right.

My experience is that what I feel from deep inside of me is the biggest support that I have, as by following this inner knowing I am flowing with my days instead of trying to catch up with them: just being and being present with what I do, no thinking ahead or having another project on my mind.

This has been one of the most profound changes in my life. I have developed so much more trust in and love for myself by realising that in fact I already know all that I need to know and that it is about just letting this knowing come out again.

Feeling no need or pressure – at least most of the time – is such a blessing. Sitting with myself in the glorious stillness of this morning, looking forward to the day, knowing that all will be cared for and all that I have to do is be me to the best of my ability… no perfection needed.

Thank you Serge Benhayon for inspiring me to find and walk this way back to my stillness again.

By Michael Kremer, Personal Assistant, Buchholz, Germany

Further Reading:
Stillness
The Body Is The Marker Of All Truth
Time: How I Changed my Relationship with the Invisible Tyrant

864 thoughts on “Living From My Inner Knowing

  1. “I would never meet my expectations.” When we put this pressure on ourselves it is like having a boss who is never appreciative of our work whatever we do.

  2. I was always a great one for lists, if it needed to be done it was on the list, then I started realising that I needed to trust myself, and maybe the lists were in fact making me feel less confident, so I now only list things that are really urgent like a prompt list and give it a quick glance over to see if I missed anything, the lovely thing is my soul steers me in the right direction without me having to think about what I need to do.

  3. “Thank you Serge Benhayon for inspiring me to find and walk this way back to my stillness again.” Serge is leaving such an incredible legacy of work, much of which is being successfully lived in the Universal Medicine student body, by myself included. It’s challenging to appreciate in full all that Serge has offered humanity solely because of the breadth and depth of his work, but wow, we have been given so much.

  4. True Michael, ‘Feeling no need or pressure – at least most of the time – is such a blessing.’ I am becoming aware how the factor ‘time’ in my life can be such a huge pressure like someone with a whip is ready to hit me in order to get me going and I know I am the only one who can make the choice to live the simplicity of what lives in me.

  5. I love what you share here Michael ‘‘to do lists’ into ‘might be done’ lists’, this certainly takes the drive out of trying to achieve an impossible list, that disconnects me from my body and makes me feel anxious.

  6. Gorgeous piece of writing Michael. Our head tells us there is much to do. And there is. But if it comes from our head instead from our body it just doesn’t work. We override the body that perhaps wants to relax, rest or do quite something else. The body can and will tell us what to do, and once we are deeper in the body, we are fiery, light and doing things for humanity, lots of things won’t be any effort.

  7. Changing your ‘to do lists’ into ‘might be done’ lists is such a simple yet fundamental change of approach which I can feel being quite transformational.

  8. I love the simplicity with which you describe how you have managed to let go of the pressures of what you have to do and instead to re-connect to your inner-knowing and can feel through your expression the heartfelt truth of this for you. Very inspiring, thank you for sharing.

  9. It’s so much more satisfying finishing the day knowing and feeling the completion of having honoured your inner knowings of what is needed to be done rather than complete if the day with a finished check list of things you had to do.

  10. We try coming up with a plan, but there is a Plan far greater than that that governs and holds everything within in perfect harmony.

  11. I love how by committing to moving with our body’s natural rhythm we know exactly what is needed to be done next and not allow our mind to override that with thoughts that can put our whole body into tension when we get distracted and let them take over.

  12. I love moments like these Michael – moments that are more consistent in my daily rhythm in life.So much simpler and harmonious than striving and hardened drive for perfection, that is to be caught up in the biggest lie and pathway to exhaustion and always needing to better oneself and life.
    “Sitting with myself in the glorious stillness of this morning, looking forward to the day, knowing that all will be cared for and all that I have to do is be me to the best of my ability… no perfection needed”.

  13. A powerful and inspiring blog Michael – what a profound healing to let go of the pressure of all the ‘to do’ lists and re-connect back to oneself and remember how to simply ‘Be’ in harmony and truth.
    “This has been one of the most profound changes in my life. I have developed so much more trust in and love for myself by realising that in fact I already know all that I need to know and that it is about just letting this knowing come out again”.

  14. The tick box mentality of our to do lists can indeed keep us in the drive of doing and this will always be at the expense of the quality of what we do.

  15. I had a day that did not include my list or at my work it’s called my ticket system. It flowed and I was able to enjoy each task breaking it down maintaining the same quality with each. It was my most glorious day to date! I actually achieved more than I usually do and completed it like no other. Aroha!

  16. Beautiful Michael” . . .just being and being present with what I do, no thinking ahead or having another project on my mind.” . . is the antidote to stressing out.

  17. There is a sentence – “I would never meet my expectations” that brought me to a stop here. It feels so similar to the ideal in my head of trying to keep other people happy.. an outside marker I have no control over and so there is a constant feeling of struggle, and no hope of achieving it. This idea of might be done lists is pretty gorgeous leaving the way open for how we feel, the rhythm of the day, and other things that inevitably pop up here and there.

  18. Love how you’ve shifted from the mandatory ‘to-do’ list pressure to ‘might be done’ list.. Iists have their place, but not when they own you and dictate the course of your day and life. Great call to look at our relationship with lists, with work, with expectations that we put upon ourselves: often we find that we are our own harshest taskmaster, putting enormous pressure on ourselves and our bodies to do things according to a whole set of ‘shoulds’ and ‘must dos’ that sometimes we’re not even aware of. When we let go of those pictures of how we think we, or life should be, and allow ourselves to surrender to the flow of life, it feels much easier, less stressful and bigger – there is space for more.

  19. I loved what you have shared Michael, just reading your gorgeous blog has brought to me a deeper sense of my own stillness, thank you.

    1. Yes, Michael allowed himself to be held by the beauty of his own being, instead of going into the drive of achieving. We are each constantly at these crossroads with the choice of being with our love and trust our inner knowing and feelings, or leave it all to join the chaos – a chaos which is now quite normal, if not expected.

  20. “I would never meet my expectations.” Expectations keep us on the treadmill of trying to get somewhere or achieve a goal and are exhausting. When we live in rhythm with our inner stillness we find the space to be all of who we naturally are.

  21. It is a great realisation to understand that we are able to develop a different approach to the way in which we live when we connect to our body’s natural rhythm and inner wisdom and allow it to move from a true quality that brings simplicity and flow to our every day living.

  22. I feel the flow in how you live Michael and how delicious that is, to live in rhythm with our bodies, living life rather than mastering it .. so well put.

  23. It is inspiring to feel from within, that there is a whole other way of being, that when connected to feels effortless, natural and free in contrast to the push and drive of trying to achieve a sense of recognition or acceptance though what we do or what we think we should be doing. When we are with our Soul, we are everything we need to be.

  24. The absolute strength and power in staying with ourselves as we wake and begin the day is something that I am beginning to discover. It is easy to let the mind wonder into the day or get caught into deciphering a a feeling, sense or dream on waking. When staying present, with whatever we are feeling aware of brings understanding and the greatest joy of learning to love everything that our body brings to us. Or day and the things that await are then a pleasure to be in and with.

  25. Gorgeous that life is actually so simple – it all starts with acknowledging what we feel and act on it. This is what The Way of The Livingness and all the teachings by Serge Benhayon are about. Perfectly imperfectly so.

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