For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress. I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live. I have never bought very expensive clothes, but I have certainly been through many different styles in my life, which I sought to perfect. If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony and this would have exposed the comfort that was keeping me from seeing this truth.
Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.
But the truth is, when I gave my power away to an outer image, no matter what I put on, it never gave me a true feeling of satisfaction. What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes. If I didn’t have a certain look that I was after, I would feel like it was the end of the world.
I work in the Fashion Industry and this is our everyday life. We talk about clothes, we dream about clothes, we fall in love with clothes, we waste clothes, we hoard clothes, we spend all our money on clothes and we seek perfection in clothes. All of this is accepted as normal.
What made me question more deeply was the undeniable fact that, when I was honest, these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling. I gave myself a lot of patience and understanding, yet kept testing and being aware of how it felt when I continued this pattern of giving my power away to clothes and to the industry that I work for.
No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident. I was constantly seeking for the next look that would set me apart from everyone else. I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted. If I wore an ‘office’ look to a fashion event, I would feel completely out of place.
I had many different circles of friends, so imagine how exhausting and expensive living in this way would be. Even when I wanted to quit being fashionable, I was still seeking approval in the anti-fashion statements that I wore. I was becoming more and more trapped and although I did not choose to see it, my body was feeling it all. Fashion is such an intimate part of our lives, and I began to question how I could dress myself to not feel perpetually empty.
Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?
Three years ago, because of Universal Medicine, I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life. So I added a dose of that into what I wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful. Gradually I made love and care my commitment – the more I explored, the more things changed within me, which resulted in a gradual makeover in my closet.
The greatest change that I observed was – fashion used to be my protection. I used it to:
- keep the world out
- be attractive or unattractive
- appear more superior or inferior
- stand out just as much as to hide
- fit in or to be aloof
The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.
With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life. The confirmation of who I am that I was looking for is now tangibly felt and growing steadily within me, with the love and care I now no longer hold back for me.
Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am. A renewed depth of simplicity is felt and seen. I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.
This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.
My deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Love is the true cool.
By Adele Leung, Creative Director/Fashion Stylist, Hong Kong
Further Reading:
A True Role Model: Universal Medicine = Universal Responsibility
Who Are You In The Latest Fashion Stakes?
Packaging And Opening Us Up
Being a slave to fashion or to anything is to dance to someone else’s tune.
Adele I’ve been the opposite to you, clothes were not high on my radar to be kept up dated with. I recall many years ago a wardrobe person going through my wardrobe and made one comment that my clothes were outdated! I wasn’t the biggest fan in keeping up with the trend but I grew up in an environment where we went without too, so it was something I inherited.
I had a sibling who was the opposite to me. She loved clothes, always dressed gorgeous and still does and yet on the inside, there’s this turmoil going on.
What hasn’t helped either is that once my career took off, I was in uniforms then day to day clothes as such. Days off was the only time I would wear ordinary clothes. I would purchase things hoping I’d get to wear them on a night out. So I would collect things and it would just sit there for that one day, that never occurred.
Fashion for me said that I would be accepted as it would stand me out. But clothes, or keeping up with an industry that is forever changing just to keep up with appearances, is set up for the exact reason, to keep us away from who we truly are.
What a difference when we dress for ourselves and not for anyone else, what a different feeling. Not proving to anyone else but going with what nourishes our soul. Not that’s dressing for you…
Beautiful to feel, claim, and express, ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.’
A gorgeous quote from a fashion designer that looks after herself: “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.”
Interesting to realise that fashion (and many other things for that matter) can be used as a form of protection from the world and a way to hide who we are. Most people talk about fashion being a form of expression and of course it is – but the real question is: Is it your true expression or a role you are playing again and again? Thank you Adele for this insight…
Is it your true expression, or ‘I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’
I agree Henrietta, is a piece of fabric our true expression or a role we are playing out all the time. Much to ponder over this statement.
Adele, a very refreshing and honest blog about clothes and fashion – thank you! And I love how you talked about adding a dose of self love and self care into what you wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful. This is a wonderful start…
It sounds like fun, ‘I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life. So I added a dose of that into what I wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful.’
Love is the Fiery end of cool, and appreciation of our essences stocks that fire.
What strikes me about your article is how much we use clothes to be different, or to stand out, or to change who we are – instead of complementing who we are and coming from a position of already knowing and endorsing our own sense of self worth. If we dressed from that position then we would never try to outdo someone, never dress down, or hide but simply be open to showing the world who we actually are and not holding an ounce of that back.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” When we are aware of the love within then anything we wear reflects who we are.
The love within starts to radiate out for all to feel and see, ‘With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness’.
Adele this is such a great point “If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony and this would have exposed the comfort that was keeping me from seeing this truth.” Because how often do we see people really well dressed but instantly know that the clothes they are wearing are not a true reflection of how they live and look after themselves.
Not a true reflection of themselves, or even trying to hide something, ‘Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?’
We dress our bodies first in an energetic quality. It’s not physical but it’s felt. Then we dress according to that quality. If I feel uncaring and the quality of my actions is ‘don’t care bear’ then this is reflected in what I wear.
Equally when I feel beautiful my clothes reflect this.
Very true Leigh. How we dress our clothes in what quality we dress ourselves is equally important to what we put on.
This is amazing to read about how you gave your power away to an image, a perceived image of what perfection was.
What I find is the more love I have for myself, the fewer clothes I need in the closet.
I love also a very simple closet. Everything I can see and nothing is hidden or forgotten and every piece is really treasured. I start to let go of what I don’t love absolutely.
“Everything I can see and nothing is hidden or forgotten and every piece is really treasured” a great analogy for life.
It’s joyful to know who we are and have this reflected in how we dress, not to impress but confirm our inner self-worth and absolute loveliness.
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” And whatsmore is that it is extremely simple and takes no effort!
Dressing up so to compensate for what we do not live is a way; a popular one. The problem with this is that so long as it works, we do not work on our well-being, we seemingly buy it ‘prêt-à-porter’ and wear it for most of the day, except when we take the clothing off and we are again confronted with what we tried so hard to hide from everybody, starting with oneself.
The inside and out has to add up, otherwise fashion is a fluke, which at most times, no matter how beautiful in appearance, that is exactly what it is.
Absolutely Edouardo – I love how you have shared this for it is some thing that most of us have done in some way or another in life…the confrontation part (to confront ones own lack of self love and care) can be very challenging but there is only so long we can delay beginning the process of loving oneself.
When we dress according to how we feel in connection to who we are, and not to impress, it matters not what we are wearing as our light shines outwardly from within regardless of our clothes.
I am always amazed at how love allows us to become honest about our choices all round as a false version of love we might have declared previously starts getting exposed and replaced by the true one.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” I love this Adele. What ever is chosen and worn from your ‘heart closet’ will always reflect the truth and gorgoeusness of who you are.
Clothes can be an expression of our joy, our power and our love. It can also be an expression coming from need and we can transition between the two.
Getting dressed for me now is a great marker of where I am at with myself and how connected I am. In connection my body picks the clothes and it’s done with ease, without connection it’s a struggle with many thoughts of others and what I ‘think’ I need to wear.
Yes, we even look at what will work for those we are meeting during that day,
“Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.”
This statement is glaringly the foundation of today’s fashion, invariably it is like a predator, preying on the need to look good, for both men and women. Our sense of self and willingness to explore the true quality we hold will, in time adjust how we shop, dress and live.
Looking good is awesome nothing wrong with that. But we can choose to look good starting first from inside and naturally emanating out or simply putting something on without a conversation with our innermost. The quality felt is in stark contrast.
When we wear clothes that accentuates our natural emanation we cannot but glow.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day’. Gorgeous to read, and a lovely reminder that true fashion is when we allow ourselves to be seen, to shine and not hold back the love that we naturally are. For any clothes we wear will just reflect what we are feeling from the inside out!
True fashion allows our natural love and beauty to be seen and felt, ‘true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’
We all have a relationship with clothes and after reading this blog, it is good to pause and reflect. One habit I had taken on from the women in my family, was that they would only wear their very best clothing on Sundays ( church day) and for special occasions, which is somewhat of a waste…Having realised that this was not mine, I made some necessary changes to how and when I wear my clothes.
Even going to the Grocers can be dressed with the same care as our own wedding or a job interview.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” This is the undergarment that shines out through the outer garment, revealing our deeply divine beauty in all that we wear.
Reading this article this morning brings to my awareness the many hooks that clothing makers and distributors use to get us to buy their particular items. From elitism to daggy, and everything in between the sense of what each particular flavor is lies within the clothes we buy. It is then up to us to discern clearly what we can hold our love in whilst we wear it.
“If I wore an ‘office’ look to a fashion event, I would feel completely out of place.” This shows how much we believe in that our outer appearance defines how we feel inside so we are constantly focused on changing things that surround us all the while true contentment comes with allowing ourselves to feel our beauty within and allow ourselves to express form there.
I’ve come at this from the opposite end of the spectrum, not paying attention to how I look and avoiding even trying to express a sense of style or fashion out to the world – a lack of expression and an attempt to stay small. As I feel the expansion in me, so my trips to the shops becomes more purposeful, enjoyable, and a creative, fun experience.
I Love your simple description of true fashion Adele for are we not all; timeless, ageless and genderless as we move in and out of different bodies from one incarnation to the next?
‘The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self’. Most women fall for this too. It is a game changer when we observe this for ourselves and very healing into the bargain.
When we identify ourselves by our outer cladding we shut ourselves off from feeling our inner beauty.
‘…none of that made me more happy or confident.’ External appearances may bring us the approval of another, but it doesn’t change how we feel inside. For that to happen we have to change the source of our energetic foundation. It is only when we are connected to the love we innately are that we feel truly harmonious in ourselves.
When we use clothes to define us we are always at the mercy of what the picture is we wanted to fit and what others think and say about that.
We may ask clothing to complement us and to become part of the whole we already are or to supply what we feel that we are internally unable to naturally achieve.
Wow Adele, awesome blog. I can relate to what you’ve shared and True fashion is what I would like in my wardrobe, it sounds like another playful way to express who we are, how gorgeous we feel and share this with the world.
Your observations from having lived the reality within the fashion industry give this message about the emptiness of fashion slavery even deeper poignancy. You’ve come out onto the catwalk under the spotlight and expressed the truth. It’s Love that’s cool. It’s our own inner beauty then expressed through dress that resolves the emptiness and makes us shine. Invest in living and dressing that beauty, not in the latest must-haves.
How we dress can be an extension of who we are, or used to hide who we are. As we change and evolve so will our clothes and what we wear.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. ” Deeply beautiful Adele. I am inspired.
What you have reminded us of is that we don’t need to hide behind fashion but rather use it in a way to enhance our lives instead of diminish us.
Great point Roslyn. It’s such a change in the way so many of us relate to fashion – not that we’re consciously hiding, but in the need to be fashionable we are absolutely dismissing our own expression, ie. what we would choose to wear if we hadn’t capped ourselves with a ideal picture of what we should look like.
How exhausting it is to be a slave to fashion… or anything of an ephemeral nature for that matter. Better – easier, simpler and truer – to be a servant to our inner hearts, and express in full from there.
What we choose to wear can be nurturing and honouring, ‘This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’
It’s so interesting how our sense of fashion can change as our perspective of ourself evolves. What I once thought was beautiful, the colours I wanted to wear and the style all spoke about my relationship to myself. Now that I enjoy who I am my whole sense of fashion has had to change to reflect that.
it made me laugh when you mentioned anti-fashion. I too have got caught up in not wanting to be seen as someone following fashion, but looking back that was a reaction and a judgement. The way I dressed was still not for me. Getting to know me and what feels right on me has been an enjoyable journey. I actually enjoy shopping now and if I don’t find what I’m looking for I will come home empty handed rather than compromise.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ Thank you Adele feeling inspired to reflect my love in the clothes I choose to wear today and every day.
True fashion is about reflecting the beauty of our inside out to the world thus it can never be about following trends etc but purely about expressing our loveliness in what we choose to wear. For so many years I never felt satisfied with how I looked and it is great to recognise that this was because I was looking to fill the emptiness inside through outside confirmation, like papering over the cracks it was only a temporary fix before I was back to square one until I committed to building a loving relationship with myself and then chose clothes to express this.
“With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life. When we love and truly care for ourselves – from the inside – it doesn’t matter too much what we wear. We can look equally stunning in a pair of jeans and T shirt or dressed up to the nines. It is what we feel from the inside that really matters. Do we use fashion to hide in or show our true loveliness and power?
Who are we when we are not choosing to be who we truly are? We create so many identification through what we do – our professions, studies, hobbies, what we like/dislike, what we are good at and not so good at, what we have/don’t have etc. etc. Life becomes simpler when we start letting these go and making re-connection to our true essence our primary choice.
If we find ourselves ‘slave’ to anything – be it fashion, a hobby, a person, or any ideal, then we would all do well do develop a deeper relationship with ourselves such as you’ve described here Adele. For the power that we innately hold within is far stronger than any such thing, if we but give ourselves the opportunity to re-connect with it, and thereafter deepen this relationship. We have the capacity to observe the myriad of hooks and ensnarements industries such as fashion constantly stream out to us – to observe well, and recognise that we needn’t be at the mercy of such currents, and can actually determine very solidly, what is and is not true for us in any given situation.
An awesome sharing about personal liberation, thank-you Adele.
Liberation claimed not be striving to attain or ‘be’ more, but rather, by re-connecting to all that you are within.
Absolutely Victoria – the liberation is more of a shedding of what does not belong so the true and real-ness of who we are can be explored and expressed more freely.
Shopping without that connection to myself is a nightmare – I can never find what I want, don’t know what I want, and the shops just have nothing I like. We all know the feeling… we are odds with the world, Equally I know the opposite too: When I walk into any shop and there are 5 things that jump out, the day flows, the shopping is super easy. The way we feel is so super important at every level.
What I show is not what I am if I don’t honour myself first.
‘Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am.’ This is a tag line waiting to be splashed on billboards everywhere as a reminder that we are not fashion…that fashion is an expression that comes from who we are first.
Beautifully presented Adele. I love your sharing and the understanding I have gained from your words. “The truth is I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.”
I am sure it is no different now to when I grew up – it was so much about what you were wearing! I went from not caring and wearing a tracksuit every day, to wearing drainpipe jeans every day – nothing remotely feminine! Now, I am learning what kinds of clothes I enjoy wearing and having fun experimenting. Such a shame it has taken me so long.
True fashion never needs approval… This is a beautiful statement… Countless millions of people are driven by external comparison in what they wear… Imagine being your own fashion queen… Fantastic ☺
The freedom of fashion, which lies within each of us – is the freedom from the constructs and dictations of the fashion industry.
What an inspiring article! Feels like it’s time for all of me to have a date with my wardrobe and see what I have been living when it comes to the clothes I own and/or wear.
I can completely relate to this article. I have been one to buy quality clothing, so it will last. What I am discovering though is that if I buy these items without true loving discernment, often they are not worn and eventually given away. For me now buying clothes comes first from my body and what it needs to support my choice to live in it with deep love, care and grace.
Adele your discovery of true fashion is inspiring to read and what a powerful reflection you offer to the fashion industry in supporting to breakdown all the ideals and beliefs this industry holds that forgets to celebrate and appreciate the deep beauty we all have within first and then dressing from this connection – very different to when we dress from an emptiness and needing the clothes to fulfill us in someway.
I now know fashion to be be the love that I emanate, which as you share Adele is timeless.
Beautiful Kimweston2, fashion from inside out, through our emanations brings it to a whole new level.
I used to copy what other’s wore so I would feel accepted. Now I’m feeling how I can explore what I like and am so inspired by many friends around me who have their own amazing styles. Copying other’s is like trying to copy the uniqueness of another’s expression. It never feels true on another.
I loved reading this blog Adele. Diamonds worn on the outside can never radiate what we hold within.
It is such a great and important point to raise, about how we communicate with each other through our clothing choices. Everything symbolises an expression of something deeper and I love how this is a constant communication that we have.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” There is no greater cloth to wear than this.
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” Awesome Adele I feel a whole new fashion revelation coming on one that celebrates us for exactly who we are.
When the clothes we choose to wear are an extension of how we feel with ourselves on the inside – we naturally flow in a style that suits our unique expression.
‘I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’ – this highlights to me and exposes the driving force of fashion as we see it today. I too was caught up in the illusion that comes through fashion, that is gives us a false sense of power through acceptance, attention, recognition or control through hiding. Yet at the end of the day when we are naked once again how do we truly feel about ourselves? Do we feel fulfilled and confident in who we are? If we are not feeling great about ourselves then we are merely limiting who we are by investing only in what we wear, and at the mercy of the response we receive from the world outside of us. But with this we completely miss the far greater world within to explore, where who we are within already knows how to walk our glory, in true style of our essence, of all that we are. The clothes we then choose to wear are a confirmation and as you say ‘extension’ of the gorgeousness we feel within.
Interesting point about nakedness Carola – it got me thinking about the plague of body mutilation, like piercing, tattoos and cosmetic surgery. We’ve gone beyond clothes to achieve acceptance, recognition and control and are wearing even our naked bodies in a way that identifies us to some sort of genre. In saying that – tribes have been using tattoos and piercings for similar reasons for a very long time.
Fashion is a beautiful tool to express our true nature or to hide what is truly going on, it is our own way of being that is shown in the way we dress or not. It is a great part of our lives when we look at it in this way and feel what is true or not.
Using fashion as something to hide behind, to not take responsibility for what we’re not willing to live ourselves, can be applied to anything. For me it’s words and my mind.. going off into my head, planning and writing. To start to use words and writing in a true way feels completely different; exposing of how I use expression and not expressing as something I can identify myself with, and/or hide – and how I can use this awareness as inspiration to express all that I truly am, and not who I think I need to be.
Generally speaking, clothes are there to compensate what we are not living and to try to trick those who watch us that we are indeed living it.
It is beautiful to come from where you have consumed by fashion and the beliefs within, to choosing to dress as an encapsulation of who you are. This is a reflection that is greatly needed in the world for so many give power to the outer at the expense of what is truly important.
Some fashions may try to hide or even over emphasise our natural body shape or but our true grace and elegance is always lying underneath the facade of what is on the outside just waiting to be expressed in its fullness.
An article such as this is one day destined to be printed in fashion magazines. Bringing us to the essence of a woman, and the fashion industry to intimately offer clothing that holds women in their natural essence of grace.
This is so gorgeous, it is our true way to be. Living and expressing the love that comes from within.
Fashion can certainly be used to hide – I for many years was unfashionable and dressing down as a way of not expressing myself. My level of self-care is reflected in what I choose to wear and how I wear it.
When you meet someone who is confident and knows who they are it is the essence of the being within that you feel before you even notice what they are wearing. It is the person you are connecting with, not the clothes.
I had the opposite relationship when I was younger… just no relationship at all with fashion – clothes were just this functional thing that needed to be bought periodically. Functional it may be, but there was a total lack of expression, a wasted opportunity to have a bit of fun, to wear colours that I felt in the day, to dress up for certain occasions or pyjama days. To allow my choice of clothes to support me. These days there is a healthy balance and I am more for it.
Life is always calling us to go deeper in the care for ourselves. In the areas we are now natural in moving as such, we will be shown the areas we can work more on, life is amazing that we are offered opportunities to be lifted up in every aspect, there is never any destination.
Fashion is just one example of many things we choose to hide behind and use as a protection, to not allow ourselves to be truly seen. Work and family are two others: are we fully ourselves in work, and with our families, bringing all of us into what we do and not holding back? Or are we perpetuating comfortable scenarios where we don’t say what we feel but hold back, not wanting to rock the boat? The more I commit to taking care of myself, the easier it becomes to let go and to express what is there to be said.. it takes time and a lot of commitment, but it is so worth it.
Do we use the clothes we wear as a way to hide our true selves from the world? or do we dress to express who we are? A great question raised by this blog to consider.
I loved reading this blog, it really exposes how we try to find an image that either allows us to stand out from the crowd or hide away, although when we wear something, and have an open heart it reflects everything we are on the inside out, rather than trying to be something from the outside in.
‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’
This is huge, and I wonder how many other ways we do this in life. Like our career, family, social groups, hobbies, everything! When we make it about identity and looking a certain way we fail to see the bigger picture and acknowledge the awe of what we all carry within. Making it about the inner instead of the outer has been a huge change in my life.
There is nothing a person can wear that can compare to the look and feel of someone who is truly looking after and loving themselves – the clothes are just one part of the whole expression.
Keeping up with the current fashion trends literally has us women chasing our tails for next season will always bring another style, cut, colour to buy and squeeze into our already bulging wardrobes. But when we recognise that no amount of clothes regardless of the quality will ever satisfy that insatiable need to seek approval from others and to ‘perfect our outer appearance’, we begin to claim our true fashion from within.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day’. Love it Adele, beautifully said.
Yes it’s very different when we dress from the heart closet and do so as a celebration and sharing of us in the world, it’s actually then we realise that we’re not just dressing for us, we’re dressing for all in a way that allows us and all we meet to be themselves, that’s the true power of true expression in fashion.
Dress from the heart and it will show to the world. I like you message Adele!
Love is the true cool is beautiful. The Fashion Industry, like many industries, has its own language, it’s own way of knowing who belongs and who is an outsider. This tells me that it is not inclusive. It is competitive and therefore poisonous. I work in the arts. There is a language to be learned where they even change the meanings of words. This feels like it is not done to express better but to separate the arts people from the others. I see and feel this from many industries.
There is a way of being in these industries and choosing fashion from love and not for competition but for joy. Dressing with love is the way.
I was just reflecting on how this blog and the comments will eventually become our way of expressing when walking down the street and I get the feel for just how expansive life will be.
Thank you Adele for another great article, of late I have been looking at the way i dress at home, going out I take care in how I am dressed and how my clothes feel, But at home I seem to drop the ball, I love this line, “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day. “
This is a great article that exposes so much that is going on in the fashion industry. The difference is that you ask so many needed questions with gentleness and understanding and full respect for the people working within the fashion system. We have all been effected by the fashion industry, and clothing is a huge part of our lives. ‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ I can totally relate to this Adele. It was when I was feeling most disconnected that I would wear clothes that made me attractive or send a message that said ‘don’t come near me.’ I wanted to hide behind the image of my clothes and distract people from asking questions like ‘how are you really feeling?’ I have become more and more aware of the real messages that people send out through their clothes. Often the message is opposite to how the person feels. Yet how often do we question these messages and look beyond the clothing?
I must say that I have been fooled by fashion several times, especially as a teenager wanting to be cool and to fit in. So much easier just to be me in what I wear without wondering what the trend is.
We can express so much through the way we dress, but one of the coolest things is how the way we dress and care for ourselves can inspire another person to introduce that same care and cherishing into their day.
Although we may think that our clothing is only the outer ‘look’ of our appearance, or there to protect us from the harsh whether environment, it actually does so much more to us. The clothing we wear is to support our bodies in the beauty and delicateness it is and in that everything matters, as the type of fabric, the way it dresses, the colour and the level of protection to cold or heat to name a few, are all equally important in serving our bodies in doing our jobs and to truly be and live who we are.
A true lesson on fashion Adele. I too can relate to this experience.The more lost in my disconnect of who I am the harder it was to know how to dress. The more in connection even the simplest of out fits looked and felt great.
A brilliant trip through the illusion of fashion and why we are all ‘users’ in some way. The need to cover up our perceived faults or compensate for our insecurities through what we wear can be seen and felt by everyone on some level anyway, so who are we trying to kid? The best form of clothing is that which reflects who we truly are inside – the beauty within. Anything else is just a mask, a mantle and a protection from the emptiness we’re feeling. Once we focus on living in a way that addresses the emptiness then our beauty naturally shines through what we choose to dress in because the choice comes from who we are and not from what we’re trying to be or not to be.
The identity with our clothes is age old. They are used to tribalise ourselves and tell others what group we belong to. This can range from full on gang colours, to wearing your hat cocked at a particular angle. But none of this speaks to what we are within, and no matter what we wear it will never change that. Our identification with the outer layers of ourselves is only that: a layer. It covers a brilliant light and a rich inner world, which is as visible as we choose it to be.
Do we let our clothes determine what we feel, or does the expression of our inner-most feelings determine how we wear our clothes?
No matter how much the clothes cost, how cool they look, they will not take away the pain of separation within. It is how I feel inside that makes all the difference and when I feel great first and then put on the clothes to confirm my greatness, boy do I feel amazing!
Adele you wrote: “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” I love your honesty as it is an inspiration for me to be honest too.
You’re so right Adele. True fashion is ageless, gender less and comes from the heart. When I feel like me, it is the best fashion.
Yes, when we truly start to take care of our bodies and nurture our hearts, Truelove becomes the latest fashion
Great blog Adele – what damage we cause ourselves through comparison and wanting to be anything other than we are, both energetically and physically – as with shoes! I had something going on with my toes last year and chose to go through all my shoes and discard anything that did not feel good on them, in spite of my mind arguing the point of how much they had cost, how little they had been worn, plenty of life left in them etc.
My feet have loved this and now cannot bear to put up with anything that does not support them or hurts in any way. Self care is so lovely rather than being dictated to by what is acceptable in fashion.
“Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?” What a great question Adele, we focus so much on the outer, what we wear, what will people think, spending so much money on exactly the right clothes, accessories and shoes. Yet if we spent as much time on our outer appearance that we do with our inner, we would be looking at a very different society.
For me fashion was something to avoid as I didn’t want to show the world who I was, I constantly dressed down so I didn’t stand out. I thought myself not worthy to wear beautiful clothes. After coming to Universal Medicine there is hardly a piece of clothing left from the old days of disregard, now stands a man that dresses in the quality that reflects the beauty held within.
Thank you Adele for a really inspiring and insightful sharing, I have recently been looking at my clothes and wanting to make different choices, choices not so much about how I look from the outside but how I feel from the inside out in the clothes I am choosing to wear. This is a very timely blog for me.
I love the idea of looking into my “heart closet” to figure out what I want to wear and how I want to wear it.
What we dress true, there are no rules.
Every single moment it is a sensing of what is needed, both for ourselves and for everyone else. This does not mean we dress to fit in, rather it is a very simple and joyful responsibility of feeling how divinity can be expressed. There is no thinking in this process, and it does not just happen every morning when we open our closets or just the night before when we lay out our clothes for the next day. It is happening every moment of every day. All our choices and our movments will lead to how we dress and present ourselves, and the truth is it is just one life interconnected with everything else.
We learn to be chameleons in this world always adapting to the ciscumstances and environments, instead of staying and showing our true colour all the time.
When we look at fashion we can clearly see how much we have made life about an image to put on our walls than about us the people living in this world.
‘What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes.’ I like this way of looking at life, it gives us the perspective of how much indeed we enslave ourselves with the need to fulfil an outer image. It takes the joy out of life.
Fashion like everything in life can be used as a way to distract ourselves or deepen our connection. I have used fashion in both ways. Like you Adele, for a long time, I would spend many an hour pondering over what to buy, what to wear all in the hope to achieve a certain look or appearance where I would seek confirmation from outside of myself. Having come to Universal Medicine, I approach fashion in an entirely different way, where the way I dress is a reflection of how I feel on the inside. I am now super aware of what I choose to wear on any given day because if it isn’t in alignment with how I am feeling, that will be felt throughout the entire day.
‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ I feel that I have done this too, to give an impression of an aspect of myself even if I did not feel it at the time. Thank you for this and an opportunity for me to ponder on this more.
‘No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident.’ No matter what we seek from the outside to complete us will ever satisfy us as the completeness we are seeking is ourselves, it is the wholeness of ourselves that we are missing and the world makes us believe that we will find it in all that what we have created in this world, but as your example so clearly shows, no matter how hard we try to complete us by finding the perfect look, style or altogether life style, it does not bring us what we are seeking.
What fashion has taught me is honesty and acceptance. Every single day I have the opportunity to learn not to be perfect (as I have to get dressed every day), even when perfection is accepted as normal and almost a rule to be included in this industry. Not being perfect does not mean to disregard oneself or be disinterested in self-caring, quite the contrary, being honest simply means I can look at what my choices are in life without avoidance. Honesty may not look immaculate, but there is a gorgeous depth to it in which a seeking of perfection can never bring us to. Yet in realness there is a dropping of masks which opens up humility to self-develop and self-support.
“it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” This is key, and so freeing when you start to live with more love your truly don’t feel as inhibited and stifled by ideas of what you should be doing and then this plays out in every way including how you dress. I wear clothes and hats that I would not have dreamed of 5 years ago, because I no longer feel I am faking a look or trying too hard I am simply wearing something I love and that is enough for me.
Imagine waking up and choosing clothes that confirmed who we are rather than trying to choose a an outfit or costume that we feel will turn us into an image that we hold in our head. That is definitely something i play with each morning, am I willing to let the world see me or am I trying to be something else?
Quite often you will hear the rebellious hippy say that they are not a slave to fashion an image like that of the mainstream society. Yet what they invariably fail to consider is that in their own way they are also slaves to fashion and image. The truth is nearly all of us manufacture a way of relating to the world that is designed to fit in to an image of one kind or another. Very few us us willingly show our true selves to the world, and fashion is only one of the myriad of ways by which we hide our true nature.
Truly beautiful to read Adele, thank you for so honestly sharing. I love this line, ” Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day. “
This is beautiful and deeply inspiring to look through my wardrobe to determine what is truly supporting me and what is not. There is a lot that we hold onto that can actually no longer serve us, so finding this very supportive to look at what is in my wardrobe and feel what is there to be moved on and what is there to support me going forward.
It is interesting isn’t it, how some outer shield apparently makes us feel more confident, or does it really?
In the past we had castles and fortresses to keep people out. Nowadays we have beautiful clothes among many things that can be just as cold and protective
Great point Joshua, we can dress that says to others ‘back off’ or we can dress that inspires others to be their true selves.
“True fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’ how beautiful how true and how different this is to our perceived ideas of fashion coming from a need to fit in and feel better about ourselves on the out side only.
A really different approach Adele, and inspirational for the fashion industry and all of us. Thank you for your honesty.
“The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” Fashion can be, and is for many, a great distraction from truly looking within at ourselves and our lives. It is all about the superficial outer world rather than coming to know the depth of who we truly are from within.
“Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am. A renewed depth of simplicity is felt and seen. I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” I have also found my dress has changed over the last few years, the more I have connected to the truth and simplicity of life, my attachment to ‘dress to impress’ has gone. Now I wear what my body feels to wear, and what I wear reflects how I feel.
gorgeous blog Adele, what we wear is such a big part of our expression in life, which is truly an extension of what we are on the inside, I totally agree that love is the true cool!
What takes effort is to get rid of all the ideas and believes that we have buried our self-worth with, thinking that we have to be this or that or look this way or that. Once we can let go of all this, we can reconnect to our divine essence, which naturally restores our sense of self-worth. Our worth is the worth of a son of God!
Yes it is Judith! This feeling is so precious that no matter what we are dressed in feels absolutely and superbly divine. It is my absolute responsibility and also absolute joy to be feeling this every day and expressing it honestly in every way I go about life.
I have never been into fashion but I do know that I have the tendency to ‘underdress’ so to not be seen or stand out for the beautiful woman that I am. A couple of days ago I really felt like wearing a dress and it felt so wonderful. My mind can kick in and go like: oh the weather, it’s cold or raining etc, but it felt great to not listen to that and to just wear what I felt like.
Love your expose’ of the fashion industry Adele. Lots to ponder upon.
For myself growing up I used clothes to fit in and hide the woman I am. Both masking the emptiness I felt within. Thanks to Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am now beginning to dress according to how I feel to complement the real me.
Serge Benhayon has said many, many times that ‘everything is energy’ and ‘therefore everything is because of energy’. The clothes that we wear have an energetic origin, the way that we style or don’t style our hair has an energetic origin, whether we wear make up and how much make up we wear has an energetic origin, the type of bag we carry has an energetic origin, the type of shoes we wear has an energetic origin, every-thing begins in energy before it becomes matter therefore how we look on the outside has it’s start on the inside. What we are in truth looking at when we look at how a person chooses to dress is their relationship with themselves, which is why we are so transfixed when we look at Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon as what we are actually seeing is their relationship with themselves.
Absolutely Alexis. With a connection built with ourselves, everything we put on is an emanation of what energy that runs through us. That said, everything we put on no matter how it is made, designed, created becomes reimprinted with the choice of energy that we have chosen, so in effect, we are dressing the clothes rather than being dressed by the energy that the clothes have come with.
The simple act of dressing up only needs to be honest. There is no thought process that goes on when dressing from honesty. Clothes are an extension of how I feel, so it only needs to come from an honoring of my feelings. There is no right or wrong, no rules and definitely no perfection. Clothes are not there to impress anyone or and especially not to change how I am feeling—e.g. when I feel lousy if I attempt to change that feeling by covering up with something that elusively gives me elation, that would not be honest. It is much more simple and honest, to just dress as how I feel. In this honoring of myself, what it opens up is a clearer truth of a part of myself that does not change no matter how I feel, and that is then what the expression with clothes can open up to. This is the science of dressing true.
I have always loved decorating myself with beautiful fabrics that are very soft and light and silky. They feel beautiful on my skin and flounce when I walk. This is quite a different side of the coin to assuming any identification with my clothes defining me, which I used to think. Today I still love decorating myself but much less for the benefit of comparing myself to others and more for based on how they support my expression my work and my comfort.
I love your expression ‘decorating myself’. That is so gorgeous and a rock solid commitment to the act of dressing up being a celebration. Love it. After my shower this morning, I’m going to decorate myself.
Cool Ottobathurst … fashion is like wrapping yourself like a present too. A gift to yourself and everyone you come in contact with will be able to feel the love, care and joy in how you dressed yourself. I can sense that I’d love to see how you decorate yourself.
This is very true Linda – it is the confidence and absolute knowing of themselves and who they are that shines through.
Great article about clothes Adele.Thank you.
I have often wondered what it would be like if, instead of a catwalk showing the clothes off, that the models simply wore shop clothes or a large paper bag with a belt and the model walking walked in her absolute gorgeous essence… that we see their essence, and not what they are wearing. It would be a exposing experiment to recognise just how much we load up on the garments and judge a person by what they wear rather than seeing them, their expression, for who they truly are. Likewise for the model, to let go of attaching their sense of worth to the clothes they are wearing, and walk totally being themselves. Would be a great experiment.
Parading on a catwalk in itself is an act of separation, it is a pedestal that puts the models on a platform that says look at me, while the audience gaze from below. Being on stage to show something without the awareness of equality and unity, does not come from our essence, and would not express what is from our essence. The fashion catwalk can also be our catwalk in life, it is no different, which goes to show only when we can feel the true essence of ourselves would this be expressed in all we do, it has to first start from within.
Absolutely Adele. I have never been on a fashion catwalk. But I have often put myself on a catwalk in everyday life. In fact, as soon as you put clothes on to impress or induce a reaction, you are on the catwalk – and, as you say, separated.
Yes they are caught up in looking to impress, there is no connection to their essence. There feels an emptiness as they walk down the catwalk.
This is such a potent blog Adele. From a very young age I recall not being interested in wearing clothes that mum lovingly made for me because they were “not cool” and by wearing them I may not be accepted by the cool kids.. and being accepted by the cool kids meant everything at the time. Well that childhood imprint didn’t change too much into adulthood and only in recent years have I become vividly aware of the images that come into my mind. Images of being cool or fitting in that would overshadow my clothing choices and thereby it wasn’t the real me making the choice. Shopping for clothes as an expression of who I truly am vs buying clothes to get recognition and/or mask the emptiness are two completely different experiences.
I had a similar experience Rob, where I was teased for what I wore. I remember feeling like I didn’t fit in because I didn’t have cool clothes like other kids. I also felt where others ‘dressed up’ to try to fill a void and to get recognition.
Someone made a reference the other day to ‘fashion’, (it wasn’t someone who would have read this blog). What I could feel was the deepened awareness this blog has offered and my contribution to the topic was offered with a connection to this blog. Our essence is always in fashion and that makes wearing anything fun, dressing our loveliness is always in fashion. Thanks Adele for offering a deepening foundation of loving being to our lives.
Absolutely true Sandra, our essence is always in fashion, it always looks stunning, is worth a million bucks, and can literally look like any style we have seen or never seen before, there are never rules, because true fashion is much much more than what we see on the outside.
That’s beautifully said Sandra ’our essence is always in fashion’ – so simple and so true.
This is gorgeous Sandra – “Our essence is always in fashion and that makes wearing anything fun, dressing our loveliness is always in fashion”.
Gorgeous Adele… ‘This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’
It is beautiful to be beautiful, to wear fashionable clothes, to have style – as long as this reflects what I feel inside of me anyway. The moment I depend on my looks, because they have to compensate an emptiness, I become a slave.
Great exposing Felix, fashion is only true when it reflects what is from within.
fashion is only true when it reflects what is from within.” I love this quote Adele. This sums it all up.
Well said Felix, I know I use to hide behind looks and inside I was completely empty and hurt. Now it’s completely different, I connect to how I feel and dress accordingly, this allows me to connect to the beauty I feel inside.
I like what you share here Felix, very true.
’I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’ This is very relatable – it is probably one of the most common ways to seek being ’accepted’.
I agree Eva. And even many of those that would claim that they weren’t ‘puppets of fashion’ are still using clothes to hide behind…which is no less a prison.
Eva I too can relate to this, I remember there was a way I dressed to fit in and be accepted in the corporate world, and then in a way to impress men during a dating phase. I still find myself sometimes still getting caught behind cloths.
’What made me question more deeply was the undeniable fact that, when I was honest, these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling. I gave myself a lot of patience and understanding, yet kept testing and being aware of how it felt when I continued this pattern of giving my power away to clothes and to the industry that I work for.’ Thank you Adele, for sharing your profound awareness on how it is possible to come back from deeply imprisoning patterns and behaviours.
Stunning blog Adele I’ve never thought of clothes as imprisioning before.
And yet Abby, the freedom that fashion can also open us to when we become honest to its enslaving and choose to be true, is absolute gold.
I agree Adele. Once we claim and choose to wear our own love we can all take fashion to another level. It can be playful and kooky, chic and sassy, colourful and comfortable… it can express who we are and how we feel every day.
Beautiful said Adele, it is awesome when we are no longer enslaved by fashion but we can truly embrace and celebrate our inner beauty with all.
Neither did I, but it makes sense how we can imprison ourselves with the clothes we wear.
Adele, I can relate to this, ‘If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony’, until the last 5 years I did not care about my appearance, I dressed in cheap, often second hand clothes with the idea that it was a waste of time and money to care about what I wore, reflecting on this now this is how I felt about myself – that I was not worth the time and money. I feel very differently now and really enjoy wearing clothes that express my femininity and loveliness, as I feel more confident and adoring of myself, my clothes reflect this, I feel now that I am worth the time and money and love to wear clothes that feel gorgeous on me.
I can really relate to this Rebecca, having dressed down myself for many years, not wanting to honour my natural beauty. Now I feel in to the quality of how feel and dress accordingly, now my wardrobe is evolving and expanding along with me.
What a beautiful and thought provoking contribution and another example of how we can turn the simple act of getting dressed into an emotional conundrum: do I hide, do I strut, do I feel inferior or superior, do I care or not care? Am I out to impress or be invisible? Every choice tells so much about how we truly feel about ourselves on any given day,
In the end nothing we put on can make us feel beautiful if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin.
Well said Esther, we need to focus far more on being comfortable in our own skin then what we wear.
That’s so true Esther!
Your words are powerful and I feel me, living in my body, in my skin and how much I like it or not. And I realize that we radiate how we feel with ourselves and choose then clothing that support how we feel – in the one way or another.
Yes! Self-acceptance is the first step towards looking good. How we look begins with how we first feel about ourselves.
Absolutely Adele. When our eyes hold ourselves in love and acceptance, we cannot help but feel our grace, beauty and loveliness when we hold ourselves in that way.
Yes well said Esther, nothing we wear can make us look beautiful if we do not feel comfortable in our skin. It is so important to connect to the true essence within.
Very true Esther. I have experienced and seen a lot of teenage girls put hours and hours of time into their appearance, makeup and fashion, but remain feeling worthless and ‘ugly’. True beauty is all to do with our relationships with ourselves, how we treat our body and self appreciation, and nothing to do with an exterior image.
Ahahah Esther I love what you have expressed and I only can agree as only if I am understanding, accepting and loving of myself do I feel comfortable in my skin.
Esther, that’s so true. I remember a period in my life when I was very unhappy and depressed and no matter what I wore I just felt aweful, no make up, no new cloths or new haircut made me feel better. I had to work on the inside to start healing me.
‘Love is the true cool.’ I very much agree and it can be worn by everyone.
I say: Love is hot! – and that’s so cool.
I love it…
I like the term of “fashionably hiding”. We can do that with any sort of clothing, by dressing up or down. Clothing is a part of our expression – like how I do my hair, make-up and how I care, honor and celebrate me in general. It gives a reflection of how we walk through life and if we express all of who we are or try to hide. To find our true way of fashionably expressing is worth finding out because it really claims our preciousness. Everyone who does so, will become an inspiration for others and this is gold in this current days where we so used to using clothing to try to fill our lack of self-love or to hide.
Yup. I have ‘hidden’ by dressing up and down. Both are equally effective masks.
But. What I have noticed has changed in me now is that, in the past when I dressed up, people would notice the clothes. Now when I dress up, people notice me. Same level of dressing up. Proof indeed that we are way more powerful than any fashion!
Ah yes Otto, shows also that it is about the intension behind the ‘dressing’ – do I dress up to hide (whatever) or to fill up an emptiness, or do I dress up to celebrate myself.
We are way more powerful than any fashion, the testimonial to that also is when the clothes are generic so to speak, we may still be very much noticed, because what makes a person really stand out is but their shining light. Nurture and take responsibility in expressing this light, and all clothes we put on be true fashion.
Or Sandra, do we dress just to keep warm?! I say this in all seriousness because it’s amazing in these winter months just looking around at how people dress themselves. It is such a basic and fundamental act of self care, and to see so many people putting vanity (or the need for recognition) first is a very stark illustration of what puppets we are to our emptiness.
Gosh yes Otto – to put vanity before self care is such a common way to dress, specially for women. I just have to think about high heels… in that the way we use fashion in an abusive way and to abuse us.
Yes Sandra, using fashion for protection instead of the joy expressing who we truly are.
“To find our true way of fashionably expressing is worth finding out because it really claims our preciousness.” So true Sandra…honouring ourselves can’t help but bring out the gorgeousness and preciousness of who we innately are.
’This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’ Absolutely adore this paragraph – so true, all we ever need to dress up in is the love that we all are.
It is indeed a fabulous paragraph. Absolute power. I have noticed how many clothing companies have tried to write something similar in their catalogues, magazines or adverts – they pretend to extol the virtue of our true self, of what we already have – but are still insidiously maintaining the illusion that their piece of clothing will make us that much better or will (and this is the most absurd) help us to feel more of ourself. It’s kind of like Orwell’s 1984 – “all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.”
It is true Otto that words can be put out, but it is much more than what is said, that allows true change. Fashion companies can use all the “right” words, designs can feature all the “cool” slogans, but true advertising comes from our bodies, only a lived foundation of love in a body will produce what is love.
“True advertising comes from our bodies” – Absolute truth comes from you Adele.
Exactly Otto – it exposes the illusional game that this industry is trapped in.
So true Otto, the way in which emotional marketing is set up to hook and drive sales is so overt in today’s society. It is so positioned that it will make you feel better, develop or feed your self worth, which we all know is not true, but it is still what is presented.
I love what you say Otto… how many clothing companies “…pretend to extol the virtue of true self, of what we already have”. How absurd, we already have within is what they say we need to get from them.
It also further entrenches the belief that there is some kind of path of that we all need to embark on, some kind of arduous journey of self-discovery…which further cements the notion of ‘trying’. As a very great, very old, small green fella with unusually pointy ears once said – “Do, or do not. There is no try”. And he was right. It is just a choice. To connect to the deep wells of love that reside in us all and always have been, absolutely are and always will be, waiting for us.
Absolutely Eva, and it is also a great opportunity to appreciate the reflection that is presented to others when we choose to be that so that people feel that they don’t have to try and look a certain way but just connect to their beauty within.
I agree Fransisco – the best gift there is.
There is that whole other side to fashion too where clothes can actually be worn to assist other people… what does that mean!
It means that clothes can be worn in a certain way and with certain colours to instead of saying look at me and how much better and more beautiful than you I am, instead say for example love, warmth and decency are here in this person and you are the same inside.
Adele, this is a stunning and oh so exposing blog – I have been guilty of this ’crime’ myself, a complete slave to what I needed to look like – eventhough I have never been in the fashion industry I can feel how hugely affected I have been of the signals that are portrayed in magazines and so many other channels out there. What you’re saying here hits the nail on the head – ’Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.’ – True connection to myself is something that today I am continuously learning and developing.
It has gotten to a point for me where comfort has become agonising because it’s like an addiction, wanting more and more things outside myself to make me feel better.. nice clothes, a new leather sofa, higher paying job, people saying nice things and so on… but none of these things make me feel any better, in fact they make the seeming hole inside seem bigger. I know that there is no hole, just a beautiful being inside, yet I see how our creature comforts are such a diversion to what life is about. Life is about the glory that lives inside all of us, there is really nothing else we need to embrace but that.
I remember feeling the same in my first job Dean. Being able to earn money in a complete lack of regard to myself then, just felt extremely empty. Yes we could fulfil with buying things and with a myriad of other choices in vouching for comfort, but the truth is that could never truly satisfy what we are looking for, and in fact, the constant comfort that we are protecting ourselves with is agonisingly covering up the gnawing emptiness that still needs to be addressed, which will never go away until we return to living the truth of ourselves.
Clothes can be as grand as can be, but it is the acceptance of ourselves in this grandness that we will find stepping into such clothes fitting. And when we have accepted that we are truly this grand, no longer do we need anything external to confirm us, and thus the freedom to truly express. We can wear a ball gown to stand out and separate from the crowd, but we can also wear a ball gown in honour of the grandness felt of inter-connection with everyone and everything. The only difference is when we dress to stand out, we are in a constant need; but when we dress by impulse, the grandness does not diminish even when we are in tee shirt and jeans, there is true freedom.
Wow, that is exquisitely said Adele 🙂
This is beautiful Adele. How freeing to always dress in honour of our grandness. Definitely a work in progress for me but in those times when I have chosen by impulse what to wear it has felt amazing.
Beautifully said Adele…we can compete and separate, or we can connect first with ourselves and then with everyone – and it is simply a choice.
“The only difference is when we dress to stand out, we are in a constant need; but when we dress by impulse, the grandness does not diminish even when we are in tee shirt and jeans, there is true freedom.” This is glorious, Adele. When we express from our glory there is no fashion, what we wear is then just clothing.
Anything that does not come from the foundation of love, will not produce what is loving. For love to be expressed, it has to start from truly caring for ourselves, no cover up on the outside will ever produce what is loving. No amount of slogans on love or heart shaped designs in fashion are truly loving and wearing them cannot present the love that we truly are, if the foundation that they are created from is not of love.
Adele you wrote: “Anything that does not come from the foundation of love, will not produce what is loving.” For me that feels true as it is how I am with myself – the way I move my body and care for me in every second. That alone is something challenging as to who is really present in every moment?
Great exposure of the fashion world Adele and the games we play to distract ourselves from taking responsibility. It matters little which end of the scale (look or feel) we are striving to attain, attractive or unattractive, superior or inferior etc. they all keep us empty and away from our true selves.
“For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress. I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” Great opening line Adele what came up for me while reading your post is just how manipulating we are when the focus is on the outside of us. Using how we dress to present to the world what we think they want from us through the fakeness of someone we are not in truth. In reality we all want the same to live in truth and reflect our essence truly connecting with humanity.
In the fashion industry there are a lot of different camps of designs, all labelled to be different and all in competition and/or comparison with each other, but all fighting for recognition. Judgment, and non-acceptance builds the foundation of this industry. This is an industry that is not rooted in love, and it feeds on our common accepted choice of emptiness. Yet no matter how we adorn our physicality in this industry, this emptiness remains, and we know this is not the way. And so we try to anti-adorn physicality, and choose to hide in our clothes as well as in our expression, to see if this would make the emptiness go away. I have lived all of the above in the 18 years of working in this industry and have come to the conclusion that none of that works, emptiness cannot fill emptiness, we can temporarily feel better with the covering up, but only when I began to return to the responsibility of caring and nurturing for myself, did the gnawing emptiness begin to subside.
Awesome exposure of the fashion industry Adele, and how it influences us all in our choices when buying clothes, based on feeling inadequate or empty.
I agree lorettarapp. It has given me a whole new understanding of all that is playing out everywhere in regards to fashion and clothing.
Yes true Loretta… so instead we can use cloth and material to adorn our bodies in honour of our inner beauty and our unique expression. We are all the same in essence but each of us has a beauty that may look and dress a little differently to capture that particular nuance of love that we are.
This is indeed beautifully exposed. It so clearly show how very important the quality is we do everything in, as this quality will be part of the product, the things we have touched, the words we have spoken, and they all have an effect on us, greater than we think.
Adele, the absolute power and authority in which you speak about how we use fashion to try and make ourselves feel better when in fact we feel empty inside is wonderful. We all are aware of the shallowness of this industry yet very few speak out about it and if they do they are in a reaction to it. Having someone from the industry speak about it who has been able to see through it is a true gift for us all.
Being in reaction to what we have not taken the responsibility to express, is what keeps us being enslaved in so much of what we know in the world to be not true. What we regard as trivial or express in disinterest, is still an avoidance in understanding and expressing why we wish to disregard an aspect in our lives which we are all faced with every single day, such as putting clothes on. Very true Elizabeth, we will never feel better with fashion or anything else for that matter, this way.
That is super true Adele about “What we regard as trivial or express in disinterest, is still an avoidance in understanding and expressing why we wish to disregard an aspect in our lives” this has asked me to look deeper at an aspect of my life I am avoiding and therefore am getting very flippant in my expression about it and angry all signs that I am not taking responsibility for my choices. Time to get real.
Thank you Adele for sharing your own experience with working in the fashion industry. It is a bit shocking to read what you have to say: “Judgment, and non-acceptance builds the foundation of this industry.” This says a lot about the way we are all living – what a reflection for us all . . .
Fashion and function are worlds apart. Having always lived in a place that had four proper seasons function was the fashion. Only the foolhardy would opt for fashion instead of function when it was -20. Spring is when the butterflies leave their cocoons shedding the functional for the practical becomes the natural fashion.
That is the case when fashion has been defined as what is frivolous and extra that is put on like a cherry on top, rather than an extension of simply our essence, redfining what fashion is truly about, then fashion and function always unite.
I Love this reply Adele…
“gnawing emptiness”. A great couple of words that describe the feeling we cover up with cloths, but sometimes don’t realise that we are doing this. The emptiness is constantly with us until we actually take the time to accept this and consider that this is actually true, only then can we start plugging the holes that drain us.
I can relate Matthew to this ‘gnawing emptiness’ which I too have used clothes to try and cover up. Having worked on healing those holes my relationship with clothes is completely different, one where I love expressing myself and how I feel opposed to them being like a patch covering up what it is that I don’t want to feel.
Yes and replace clothes with food, sex, porn, work, kids, extreme sports, alcohol, drugs, anything and you get why we all are trying to not feel.
That is such a powerful exposure of the game so many of us play in every moment, Adele, but which is seemingly magnified in the fashion industry. In a way it is almost easier to spot in fashion, but the same intention – to hide our emptiness by covering it up with something that looks good to the outside world – can be seen in so many other activities and industries.
I agree Naren. We seem to have a myriad of ways to hide our true selves and fashion is just one of them. But fashion can also be a way to share and express the wonder that we all have inside. Like speaking words that exactly describe what we are feeling, we can wear materials, styles and colours that exactly represent the love we feel in our movements.
Absolutely, Dean. Really beautifully put. Wearing clothes that reflect that wonder is an awesome expression of ourselves.
Well said Naren, we use fashion as a way to hide our insecurities and to attract attention and be looked at and feel accepted when in fact we are connected to our own beauty we can use fashion to reflect to others what they need to see and feel in their bodies and that is the love they are.
And what a fantastic way of expressing ourselves as well. Dress yourself in love as a gift to yourself and inspire others through the gift of love you give to them through the reflection of all of you!
Adele in reading your sentence ‘In the fashion industry there are a lot of different camps of designs, all labelled to be different and all in competition and/or comparison with each other’, I came to feel that even though the different fashion houses would fight to say that they are not the same as other fashion houses and that they are of a higher quality or more individual or quirky or whatever, they are actually all just variations of the same ‘what is not love’. And when we wear them then we are adorning ourselves in ‘what is not love’. Emptiness wearing emptiness equals emptiness but if fullness wears emptiness then it is fullness and if emptiness wears fullness then it is reminded of the fullness that it comes from.
When emptiness wears fullness, we are reminded of the fullness that we are, absolutely so Alexis, the future of fashion manufacturing is in evolution.
Emptiness cannot fill emptiness – awesome Adele!
Very inspiring Adele, thank you for sharing“ but only when I began to return to the responsibility of caring and nurturing for myself, did the gnawing emptiness begin to subside.”
The fashion industry feels like an area where more emphasis is put onto the outside ‘things’ rather than the true essence of what lives within.
Adele, this is a great exposé, so honest and lots to ponder on for everybody and how we relate with clothes, and why we make the choices we make. I remember growing up, as a teenager, it was always the clothes that apparently made me look slim that I was searching for everywhere…. trying to fit a picture, and I had totally lost the knowing of and connection to my essence – the most important fashion accessory there is : ).
I agree Esther, we are made to believe with the whole fashion industry that we just need this or that product to reach the perfect look that we need to feel good about ourselves but as it turns out this is and always has been a big fat lie. It is interesting that we are still falling for it.
Fashion can simply be a very complicated way of denying ourselves and each other to be seen for who we really are.
Sandra, fashion can be very complicated and exhausting. Working in this industry we express this complication and exhaustion in everything we do. When we consistently live from a dis-connection from ourselves it is a forever chase that is pitless, the fashion industry makes money from an emptiness we have accepted as normal and we are forever illusively escaping to get out of, by choosing a way that will keep us imprisoned. Yet it is not futile, because what we are seeking for we need not and in truth cannot look outside to find, as our love fills every crevice of emptiness and we are simply born with it.
I worked for a big department store for years and was more anti-fashion but this was just a given up self loathing version of the fashionistas and I arrogantly would think I was above their shallowness! Same coin just landing on a different side. What really struck me was how awful people spoke to each other especially in the women’s buying department it was like they had free licence the further they went up the chain of command to do and say whatever they wanted. Interestingly I was good friends with the cleaner and she said the women’s toilets were always disgusting, yet you would walk out on the floor and all the women were beautifully presented, it was all a front and they had to let it out in the toilets. We can only play this game of self loathing for so long until we get so tired and if we are graced with coming along someone who actually loves themselves to watch, listen and learn. Amen for Serge Benhayon, Sara Williams, Natalie, Miranda, Simone Benhayon for showing there is another way.
“the fashion industry makes money from an emptiness we have accepted as normal and we are forever illusively escaping to get out of, by choosing a way that will keep us imprisoned. ” That is important to understand Adele! When I go into big clothes shops I can feel the quality of emptiness and seeking for great clothes to compensate. I need to focus on stay present which doesn’t always work.
I agreed Sandra, we can make it so complex and yet in fact, it can be so simple to embrace our beauty when in connection to ourselves.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share” – love it Adele!
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share” And what an awesome reflection this is for every person you meet through the day. Thank you Adele for expressing so beautifully 🙂
When I was 41kgs heavier than I am now, I used to have the most amazing suits made for me – but they were always shapeless, straight down, hiding my stomach and my backside. Now, much slimmer, I love wearing tight dresses that fit every curve. I choose colours I like and ignore what’s the current trend, I feel cheeky, sassy, sexy, and have lots of fun being me.
Beautiful Carmel. What’s a trend, but the movement of the body aligned to the absolute honoring of a true impulse within?
I love what you have shared here Adele – the trend that defies the ages “the movement of the body aligned to the absolute honoring of a true impulse within” it wouldn’t matter what this body was dressed it as the emanation would make anything feel captivating.
Could it be that one aspect of fashion is to completely distract another from what is happening on the inside of people. Some people have it all, fame, fortune and style, but history shows that it can be quite a cover up for absolute despair and depression.
Matthew, I find the fashion industry to be an awesome opportunity to read if what is seen on the surface aligns with what is unseen. Fashion is multi-dimensional, because the truth is we are multi-dimensional, so how can fashion just be what is seen and not felt? What a great opportunity to unmask our authenticity in this industry.
Love is so the new cool! Love his line Adele. And I relate so much to what you have shared here.
It is so trapping to try to live up to an imagine of how you think you should look to fit in. I struggled with this for years. I am learning to dress for me as well, like you share, from the beautiful feelings and quality inside of me, not from an outside opinion of image of how I should look or behave !
It’s truly very glorious to dress from love ! And in that I feel so gorgeously awesome and stylish!
Being the real us in whatever it is that we choose to wear is true fashion.
I realised this morning as I was getting dressed that my focus is to hide the flaws I see in my body by cleverly arranging things so I feel I look well presented and smart as an end result. Imagine if I came from a point of truly celebrating my body rather than cleverly hiding things I was insecure with.
I can relate nicolesjardin, and love your invitation; to truly celebrate my body and let go of my old habit of hiding this amazing, beautiful, super intelligent vehicle of expression our bodies are….. which in truth is hiding our true essence; love.
Adele when you state – “I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life.” – I really got what you meant. I realised how much I looked for that feeling of preciousness in relationship, in belonging, in being acknowledged and it is incredible how in such a state of seeking, we do not see how we fuel the opposite, the feeling of not being enough.
I can see why the fashion industry is so successful, because with clothes we can present the image we want everyone to see. This is a form of control that is perhaps in compensation for what may be felt as a lack of control in one’s personal life. So the clothes we wear can be a place of comfort and protection. Which is understandable because no where do we see that it is more than enough to just be who we are, and that who you are is the greatest most comforting place to be. When this is lived, clothes become a confirmation of who you are.
Adele this is inspiring, ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share’ We are more than our clothes, so much more!
I enjoyed this Adele, although i’ve never been a ‘fashion person’ nevertheless it resonated with me how i wore clothes purposefully to present me in a certain way, usually to make me less than others, very powerful how we use clothes to make statements, in a way controlling those around us to perceive us a certain way. But it is so empty and lonely to be this way, because when we take our clothes off we are left naked, and with the reason we dressed up certain way to avoid feeling. Now like you, I dress to express the value i feel for me, the loving relationship I’m building and so the clothes are my expression rather than me using clothes to hide behind.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” This is a very healing and gorgeous statement Adele; growing up particularly in our teenage years we go through so much anxiety, insecurity and even self-loathing around our bodies and outer appearance. I feel this is an important message for everyone that its possible to choose self-love, care and to deeply honour and nurture oneself, building a connection that does not need or seek approval, acceptance and recognition from others or the outside.
The way I used to dress and choose clothes was about fitting in, being accepted and liked, fitting in with the group of people and friends I was with and to be honest this still plays out and dominates what I choose to wear at times. Often it’s been about being practical, functional for the activity I was going to do and not a true expression of how I was feeling.
I remember as a young boy I loved bright colours and rainbow colours and wore these to school on a few occasions, and the other children ridiculed and teased me, and I got into trouble from the teacher for not wearing the uniform, after this I learn’t to shut down and dull down my true expression of what I wanted to wear and started to wear clothes to fit in and comply to what was deemed acceptable by myself and others.
“The greatest change that I observed was – fashion used to be my protection. I used it to:
• Keep the world out
• Be attractive or unattractive
• Appear more superior or inferior
• Stand out just as much as to hide
• Fit in or to be aloof”
Whats interesting here Adele, is how we can dress up or down so to speak, to be noticed or hide, to stand out or fit in. We always have these with how we behave in life, not only with our clothes outer appearance. Its like we have accepted that its normal to show the world a mask we wear upon our true and real expression of our self – that we perceive this is what others will find acceptable.
Thank you Adelaide for exposing how fashion can be used in a way that brings separation between us, and your experience of discovering what true fashion is. It all make sense.
“Love is the true new cool.” When we take this to fashion, the possibilities are endless, and the latest en-vogue falls to pieces. I absolutely love clothes, the colour, the shapes, the fabrics, he attention to detail. For me they are a great continuation of me and how I feel. What you have highlighted however is that we tend to dress from the outside in, rather than the inside out.
I got such pleasure in reading this blog about a topic that many of us invest a huge amount of time and money on; clothes. We either have way too many clothes or not enough… getting the balance right is always about connecting with our inner-heart which knows how to express truth and beauty first and foremost, and thus choosing clothes to wear becomes a natural follow on… effortless and fun.
Beautifully said Jacqueline – a gorgeous motto for one’s wardrobe, ‘effortless and fun’.
I am finally coming to a point where my collection of clothes is simple and effortless to choose something I feel myself in. By not choosing clothes to fit in or please others there is so much space to be me!
This insight is profound Rachael, and if we expand on it, and let go of this old habit of ‘fitting in’, in all areas of our life, I can just feel how much space is created to express so much more of ourselves as the attachments (needs) to this temporal world just fall away.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” Imagine if a fashion stylist would introduce her clients to wear the fashion in that way – wonderful.
Within fashion, fashion is rebelling against fashion, and interestingly so, working in the fashion industry, I have rebelled again fashion as well as against fashion rebelling against fashion! But as you say Shirley-Ann we are always in it, until we come back to the connection of ourselves, and express again from truth.
Thank you Adele for showing us that choosing love from our heart closet is where true beauty begins.
‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ An extraordinary exposure of the facades we live, using clothes to hide our irresponsibility… done hoping that we are fooling everyone else ignoring that we are only fooling ourselves.
Woah! Very exposing indeed Samantha. What Adele has shared highlights another way we can give our inner power away to the outside world. Who would have thought that the innocent need for clothes can be holding us back or hiding the truth of who we are!
Fashion is a big one! It is such a huge world that is held with so much importance. There is so much energy dedicated to clothes and style. If we were to put this energy instead into truly caring for ourselves and our bodies would we still make fashion so important? We need to dress ourselves yes, but we can do this in a way that supports and expresses the love that we have for ourselves, rather than a surface fix to cover up or hide the feelings of not being good enough without them.
I agree Rebecca, ‘…we can do this in a way that supports and expresses..’ as what we wear and how we wear it actually gives impressions, we affect each other, with different statements, and its all superficial…unless we bring a true quality to the equation and that is love and dress in love, now that is fashion as each of our creative expression is shown to the world, love has no limits….
Dressing for the look needed for the occasion was very much a trap I would fall in rather than wearing what I felt to wear and trusting that it was ok to simply be me. Now I find when I do this feeling from me is just what is needed and allows an ease of being naturally and a joy from within. Living the love we are and walking in this makes a whole difference to life and our appreciation and acceptance of ourselves and everyone .
I’ve fell for that one many times Tricia ‘dressing for the look needed for the occasion’. Being pulled to wear what is supposed/expected to be the norm or correct attire, then I’d go into comparison and criticising myself instead of enjoying the occasion. Not any more. It is such a joy and a freeing up of anxiety and of trying to get it right and the need to be noticed to be doing so. Living the love we are – fits any size and any occasion.
Adele I absolutely love your blog: “I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” That is for me the best and most joyous way to dress myself and to inspire others to do the same as you do with your honest blog.
What I am observing concerning clothes is that I love to wear the same style every day, a style which is practical and comfortable and the style where I feel the most safe in it. But the question is do those clothes truly support me in the beauty I am?
Yes Love is the ultimate thing to wrap ourselves in instead of fashionable clothes to get a certain look.
How gorgeous to not only come to a place of understanding of how you used fashion to protect yourself in those ways but realised that all the while you were seeking to dress yourself with your own sense of loveliness which with the support of Universal Medicine, you have now found.
What are we actually seeing when we notice the clothes… (good or not so good clothes choices)… Perhaps we make it all about the clothes one is wearing, so there is a talking point, but maybe the real thing we are noticing is something communicated to us about that person, and the movement of a body that the clothes are draped over..
Could you imagine this blog within the pages of a fashion magazine? After the over sexual ads, touched up models and page and pages on fashion and hair and makeup, weight loss and gossip column, how to look this way or that… this article, simple and not trying to get you to be like anything, but just one person’s experience with the constant chase to be or look like something, to feel beautiful. Of course, it most likely wouldn’t be allowed though the editor, because in its simplicity, it blows the glamor and the rat run of fashion out of the water.
Yes, I could imagine it Rebecca, because that is exactly where this blog needs to go, in all the women magazines which would greatly support women to see how false the fashion industry naturally is by the very fact that women are not portrayed as ‘natural’, with their layers of makeup on (masks) and bodies that have been either starved or spent many hours under the surgeon’s knife. Women are all naturally beautiful the moment they were born – what baby (male or female) is not beautiful, tender or a small miracle?
my very point, that this blog is the very much needed antidote to the never ending treadmill we are on, especially women, to look young and beautiful. The money made off the back of women’s insecurities is amazing.
Both Men and Women have an amazing opportunity to express when it comes to what they choose to wear.
The clothing can either be chosen to truly support and honour their bodies or hide or disrespect their bodies.
The colours, the shapes, the styles, the ease of which they wear their clothes all aligns when they are feeling deeply connected to who they are.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ Gorgeous Adele.
There is something very sexy and powerful about a woman wearing clothes that she has chosen from a deep sense of honouring, self-love and self-worth. 🙂
Trends change… but LOVE is always in Fashion.
“Trends change… but LOVE is always in Fashion.” I love this – and what we wear can change too as our love is forever deepening.
So true Jsnelgrove I know that what I have chosen to wear over time has changed and even the way I put my clothes on has changed. The love deepens and so does the expression.
Adele you have shown us that we are more than our clothes reveal, something those of us that have been slaves to fashion can understand.
I think we can all relate to focusing on our clothes and hair, make up (for women) to put on a front or protective layer in life. When we do this, it isn’t always as easy be open to people, letting people in and loving out.
I have always loved fashion and I have not fully clocked it until now. Like you Adele I dressed for the occasion or the people I was hanging with. I even crossed dressed covering an array of styles, fitting in and looking cool no matter who I was with. Not until Universal Medicine was I aware clothes were to confirm me in the feeling of my glory. Now, I have the greatest marker when I buy clothes, no matter if they match everything I feel I need, if it does not match me feeling my glory it does not become a part of my heart-closet.
“I was the slave of my relationship with clothes” – this line really struck me as it encapsulated the whole blog. And you are talking about clothes here but you could insert any other activity here. When we fixate on something, we do become a slave to it (be it clothes, exercising, being nice, socialising, working, busy) and it becomes easy to focus on that and not on our connection to ourselves. And with that focus, it does become a locked in deal that you can feel you cant escape from. I know alcohol was a big one for me as I was a slave with my relationship with alcohol and spend a LOT of my time organising my life around it – can I drink tonight, how many drinks have I had, do I have money to buy wine tonight, we need to stop at the bottle shop on the way, I drank too much last night need to cancel activities for today, hungover need to buy.eat greasy food etc… But when I stopped drinking I realised how much time was spent managing alcohol. I am glad to be free of its clutches.
I have found we all have our unique style and expression that fits us perfectly and I have found mine by connecting to my innermost and feeling what I truly feel good in instead of trying to fit a picture.
we sure all look beautiful when we express our love and our clothes or hair have nothing to do with it. I love how you shared your journey from choosing from the outside in to choosing fro the inside out.
“But the truth is, when I gave my power away to an outer image, no matter what I put on, it never gave me a true feeling of satisfaction.” – I can completely relate to this Adele, if I give my power away to thinking that I’m not good enough and only seeing my faults or imperfections then I never really feel good about what I’m wearing. But now I appreciate myself much more and have consequently gotten more at ease with feeling what to wear to express me and enjoy doing that. When I appreciate myself it’s natural to want to share who I am with people rather than look for someone else to tell me how I should be…
When a person walks into a room and somehow we find ourselves drawn to them, we can often make it about the clothes they are wearing or the food they eat, when really it’s all about Love… True fashion.
Yes! We can’t stop the light and love within from emanating Matthew, can we? Ah and that is what we are wearing and expressing first and foremost, and the clothes, food and everything else we put on, use or do would compliment our choice to reflect, how cool–heaven and earth as expressed in one very cool package.
True fashion, is just being ourselves.
‘Gradually I made love and care my commitment – the more I explored, the more things changed within me, which resulted in a gradual makeover in my closet’. Gorgeous Adele, make-over from within, not a stylist in sight. Just you connected to you.
Thank you for this eye opening – and heart opening blog Adele Leung. I really love the ‘heart closet’.
‘I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’ I used clothes as a way of avoiding rejection, which is that same thing really isn’t it. How much we attempt to control life in all that we do!
I cannot recall ever having consciously considered the need to be fashionable before reading this blog and I even said to myself – that’s not my thing. But it is of course relevant to us all – unless we don’t dress of course, which is unlikely. What I see in the reflection of this blog is that I have used clothes to dress down and to support feelings of being less than who I truly am. It has been a way of disappearing into crowds and seeking to stay comfortable and safe by not standing out. What I cannot deny is that I clearly knew that there is more I can be – because of my choice to dress down and not live all that I truly am. Time to go shopping!
So true richardmills363, fashion is for all! We all wear clothes every single day, fashion is something we all know and have authority on in presenting its truth.
Adele, It is so great how life will constantly reveal to us what we need to learn. Your relationship with fashion has reveal so much for you about how you were living and it is fantastic that you were open enough to learn the lessons presented.
To dress in Love is the ‘new season’ and ‘latest range’ the world is truly waiting for. It is our job to strut down the global catwalk with grace and joy flaunting all we have got. Thank you Adele for being a leading model in this way.
I LOVE it Joseph. It is our right and responsibility to dress in LOVE.
Agreed Joseph, it is important to flaunt what we got from the way we look and move in a way that confirms how awesome we are within.
Absolutely Joseph, the fashion catwalks may take time to catch on, but in responsibility we can’t hold back in strutting down the catwalk of life, in our true awesomeness of deep joy and love!
Awesome Joseph… I love it! “To dress in Love is the ‘new season’ and ‘latest range’ the world is truly waiting for. It is our job to strut down the global catwalk with grace and joy flaunting all we have got.” Yes Adele “you are a leading model in this way.”
At times I have put on a piece of clothing that is very flattering and figure hugging and then got anxious at wearing it because I might get too much attention or other women may get jealous. It is true that we can dress to hide our beauty and not be seen. Embracing and accepting our true beauty helps us to let it shine, knowing that our beauty is not more than another woman’s.. Just like different types of flowers, we can’t compare ourselves.
Absolutely Annie, also knowing in our own connection we are connecting with every woman and every man, and in this way when we dress, we dress for all!
I like the message in this blog about using clothes as a confirmation of who we are and what we feel inside.
A constant trend seeking dilemma that is so self-destructive – ‘ No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident. I was constantly seeking for the next look that would set me apart from everyone else. I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted’
“I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take responsibility to live.” This is huge Adele. The clothes will reflect the livingness of who ever is wearing them. Just look at the fashion shows and the emptiness of the models, but those same clothes take on a different feel when worn by someone living from their essence.
They way we dress says a lot about us. I used to want to put a persona out there, to be cool or quirky. And more recently I would wear clothes to hide myself. I had no idea for a while so it’s great to really consider what we wear and why. We can start to express something true and not fake.
There is a feeling in how we dress and what I find is if I dress sharp I feel sharper and more at ease, if I dress slack I can often feel that too.
What I find interesting here Adele is that you have used fashion as your drug so to speak. I know we can say food, exercise, alcohol etc but I had not ever considered fashion as the same. It all comes down to the fact that if we are not living our truth then we are using something to keep us away from that, whatever the distraction may be.
I love what you have shared here Adele. This is very revealing and exposing. ” I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” I can relate to this also, however this somewhat only fools for so long. Nothing compares to actually living it.
We should aim to dress to show the world who we are, not to show them who we are not.
Well said Liane.
And actually that has nothing to do with what we wear, for it is not the clothes that give us love, it is us being love first and foremost.
Ah, the anti-fashion follower…the one who tries so hard to not have a style that it becomes a style in itself 😉
Yes, indeed Liane, there is a very clear fashion and style of the anti-fashionista – interesting that the word fascist is in there. Amazing how many ideals and illusions we can have around this subject but then not really surprising as our appearance is a big form of expression and expression is something more powerful and important than most of us have cottoned (pun intended) onto.
Our clothes can either be a shell in which to hide or a window to let the light within shine out.
Absolutely Liane – and it doesn’t matter how long we take to get ready or the care we put into the process. What matters is the way we have chosen our clothes and the intention behind the choice. For example, we can still hide behind looking glamorous if it was chosen to please others.
Fortunately for us all, love comes in all sizes and fits everyone. It also has the ability to restore true beauty to all those that choose to wear it once more. It is fast becoming my garment of choice and the more that I wear it the more I realise that this is a garment I have never taken off but merely covered up by wearing many false layers on top. Gorgeous blog Adele.
Beautifully expressed Adele, your description of true fashion is very powerful and inspirational;
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in”.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” I love this sentence. Wearing the clothes as an extension to the love we are and the true beauty that emanates from that is what fashion should be about.
I love this too Eleanor.
Feeling more into the idea and activity of fitting in – it’s all about hiding the truth of who we really are. Why..? To avoid jealousy by making ourselves camouflage into the sea of uniformed society and not attracting attention to the greatness we are. The latest fashion or image craze is all a distraction from our selves. Yes I enjoy fashion and clothes, but now I’m approaching it from another perspective. Once I shopped for other people, thinking of them as I tried things on wondering if they (friends or family) would like it – now I choose what I want, I’m finally finding my own style and taste as my expression grows and unfolds. No more hiding Rachael – it’s time for the world to see you again.
Great blog Adele – I can totally relate to the exhaustion of trying to hide and fit in. I used am image to do this too; like the heavy metal stage I went through out of high school, wearing band t-shirts, dying my hair dark and listening to intense emotional music. Then I went to the hippy phase of life and wore next to nothing some days! I wanted to be as free as possible and clothes were at times a restriction. There was an ideal of being carefree yet the thought that went into looking like I didn’t care was absolutely ridiculous. It feels so incredibly freeing now to simply enjoy what I wear and allow myself to be me and choose clothes that will reflect the sexiness I feel within.
Agreed Katie, most often enough we hold onto images of how we need to look and in that we override our own sensitivity and miss the true beauty that we are.
The more we choose to live with love and acceptance of the beauty of who we are the more this is reflected by the way we express with how we dress, it’s got nothing to do with how fashionable or cool the garments are but the level of care, appreciation and celebration of love that we all are. Thank you Adele.
Thank-you Adele I love what you have written here “Now when I look into my Heart Closet it is love that is selected and worn with deep care and nurturing every day…..It never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in”. True acceptance of ones self.
Me too Deidre, I re-visited my heart closet yesterday, lovingly cleared it of all that no longer served me and created space for the new. There’s nothing more beautiful than to see a woman or man dressed in clothes that express who they truly are.
We have such an opportunity each day to reflect our greatness – through our movements, quality and also, our clothes. And this is in fact our responsibility, to reflect the truth of who we are in every aspect of our lives.
Beautifully and powerfully said Kylie. Thank you for the reminder that we all carry a responsibility to reflect the truth of who we are in every aspect of our lives. Know and live this and the rest is easy.
Well said Kylie, it is our responsibility to not hold back our full expression and reflect to the world that to live in connection to our essence can be joyful, sexy and that it is our right to make this normal way of living.
Nothing looks better on us than our love – from inside out.
I have used clothes in so many different ways. To stand out and get recognised, or to hide away in the background and blend in, to keep people away from me, to attract men, to hide myself as the woman I am… All of these reasons were to define me in some way giving more power to my external appearance instead of valuing who I really am inside. However, although this still partly happens, I now wear clothes more on the basis that they complement how I am feeling and as an extension of who I truly am inside
As I have gone through my life, I tended to stop following fashion from quite a young age, feeling the addiction of lots of women buying lots of clothes they didn’t need. But I know I have bought into the idea that a shopping spree with new clothes used to ‘cheer me up’ , so I realise I felt dull on the inside, and wanted to brighten the outside of me. Interesting to feel that disconnection that I had then and how different I feel now. Great blog Adele.
Just about everything in life can be a double edged sword. As you clearly show Adele, by making an example of clothing, everything has the potential to be loving and true or be used for distraction, to fill emptiness, perpetuate comfort and delay evolution. Adele you inspire others(whether it be our clothing, work, diet, exercise etc.) to shine a spot light on it all and select love all the way.
Adele this blog is super gorgeous and awesome to read!
There is a profound sense of the deeper inner connection you have with yourself and the new-normal way of feeling what your body wants to wear by looking in your ‘heart closet’.
My wardrobe doors will be forever linked with my own heart closet now! Thank you.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day”.
Adele, for me what clothes i wear is important, because I can feel how they can confirm me – either in my fullness for the beautiful woman i am or the opposite I can feel how if I wear masculine clothes that they feel heavy on me and weigh me down, I love to wear clothes that fit me well and express my delicateness, playfulness and femininity.
Being honest in the connection we have with ourselves while dressing up is fun! There are no rules in how this may look like externally, as it is different for everyone. Someone can put on masculine clothes as you said Rebecca as a protection to expressing delicateness, playfulness and feminity; another person may put on masculine clothes because of a power that they feel from within and wishes to honestly express it that way. Our full look includes what is seen and from the connection that it is expressed from.
“We seek perfection in clothes”……I could relate to this Adele, I used clothes as a way of showing that my life was ok, that by dressing smartly there was nothing to expose that underneath I was restless and unsure of what life was really about. We use clothes as a mask to cover up what we are really feeling but it never really works because the emptiness that we put the clothes on is still felt by everyone even if it is not expressed.
I have used clothes to paint the perfect picture of my life to keep others out. The seeking of perfection with our wardrobe never ends. It is a false and unattainable picture.
Alison that is a great point, it is more honest to just dress as how we feel from the start, from being honest we deepen the connection with ourselves. With a stronger connection built, we can wake up and not feel 100% for esxample, but in connection, we can still choose to dress according to the deep connection we always have with ourselves despite how we feel at a particular moment. To truly express through clothes, it is from connection, which is very different from dressing from protection. What we see is not everything, it is what we do not see (connection) that makes the look complete.
Adele reading again ‘Three years ago, because of Universal Medicine, I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life’ makes me realise that although I do live with a significant amount of self love and self care, it often doesn’t quite reach the way that I look ! I still have lots and lots of time when I have not put much care into the way that I look. I know that when I look at Natalie Benhayon what I am actually seeing is the loving care that she feels for herself as she gets ready and so when I don’t put loving care into the way that I look then others will of course get the reflection of ‘lack of love in my care of how I look’ and so I absolutely understand your use of the word ‘responsibility’.
“Love is the true cool” and Love is the new cool – and the new fashion! Love it Adele
Matts, expressing the new which is the old and indeed is forever timeless cool that will never ever go out of style, ah that’s you and us all—love.
I too have used clothes to ‘hide’. I have disguised that honesty with saying something like, “but I feel comfortable in baggy clothes”, and I guess at one level the baggy clothes were comfortable…but underneath this was the not wanting to ‘stand out’ or draw attention to myself…or perhaps even deeper, not allowing myself to feel I was a gorgeous woman.
It is also true Anne, the extent that women can go to in looking good in disregard of how their body feels is in truth very uncomfortable, and starting to say no and honor how our body feels is a step towards a deepening love back to us. When we feel to shed more layers to express more of ourselves, that is yet another level of deepening love, there is so much to appreciate, aren’t we amazing? We cannot but be seen!
Instead of using clothes to project a certain image of how you want the world to see you, it is so much more fun to see you as you are and feel, and put on clothes that confirm that which you already are.
Diana, multi-dimensionality definitely gives the spark to fashion!
Reblogged this on Simply Love.
Dressing not for recognition but because we are love, that is so very beautiful Jane.
Adele I really love what you’ve written as it’s an area I know I skirt over ;). It is beautiful to read you bringing loving attention to expressing the tenderness and essence of who you are in the clothes you wear. It’s gorgeous to read and know this is there for me to choose too if I bring such loving attention to detail to how I dress.
As with every relationship, my relationship with clothes mirrors the relationship I have with myself. Growing up there was an obvious oscillation between putting my body ‘out there’ and also hiding it in many layers of shapeless material. Though my relationship with me has grown I can feel a reticence to express who I am fully especially in something so visible as clothing. It’s not that I’m heading for a drastic ‘make-over,’ no, it’s a greater care, nurturing, acceptance and claiming of me that I can feel I’m holding back on, big time
That is beautifully said Karin. I love your honesty here about the resistance to express who you fully are and how clothing is a visible form of this. There is a clarity in how you present this. Recently I cleaned out my wardrobe by taking everything out, wiping the surfaces with eucalyptus and putting back only the clothes that I love and that express me with where I am at today. It felt great to then open my wardrobe and enjoy the clothes that are there.
Fashion, and being or looking fashionable, to me has always been this huge void, something to be very easily sucked into, but with no bottom – the race and struggle to remain fashionable is constant and exhausting! I know growing up i felt a lot of pressure to have a ‘look’ or particular fashion sense. I wanted to be able to box myself, but found it hard because I was constantly comparing – so one moment i would want to look smart, then next i would see someone in more punk rock and want to be like them. As I have grown up i have tried more and more to just wear whatever i feel to, and be aware of my tendency to compare – to feel beautiful up until i walk out the door and meet someone else, who i compare to and then no longer feel beautiful. I have found that it doesn’t matter how utterly stunning the clothes you are wearing are, until the person wearing them feels utterly stunning – with or without them, then they will do nothing to make that person feel beautiful, because there isn’t any beauty already felt for the clothes to confirm.
Well said Rebecca, ‘it doesn’t matter how utterly stunning the clothes you are wearing are, until the person wearing them feels utterly stunning – with or without them, then they will do nothing to make that person feel beautiful’. You can definitely see this playing out with some models – although they are literally wearing the ‘hottest brands’, newest trends and fashionable accessories you can still see the emptiness in their walk due to the self worth/confidence issues hid underneath the makeup and facade.
Exactly – and maybe even more so with them – they know the amount of work, the spray tans and hours on hair and makeup that goes into them being ‘fit for the job’, and even then their pictures are processed through photoshop so they are unrecognisable. And yet the most beautiful pictures of women i have even seen are the ones of normal women, no special makeup or photoshop, you can see in their smiles and in their eyes they are just being themselves and that is enough. As a society we need to look at why we prefer the touched up perfected version of fashion and beauty, to the reality of life that we all have to live with.
Susie and Rebecca, when a model comes to the shoot and opens him/herself to feeling and expressing the love that he/she is, that moment will always be a marker in his/her life and career, in the current harshness of an industry that is fashion. I remember working with a 4 year old model once, and asked her to please tell me when anything does not feel comfortable, and although only at 4 years old, she struggled expressing that she felt pain when her hair was pulled while the hair stylist combed it, but it was very well done that she did.
Wow that’s shocking Adele, and sadly expected on some level in an industry that is nowadays almost one hundred percent advertising, looks and an exterior image, rather than care, love or expression. I feel mainstream media is very dangerous, and this constant stream of expectations, images and beliefs we see posted in Magazines, TV, online, in the music industry and so forth is encouraging a lot of the population to feel bad about their bodies and the way they look.
Beautifully expressed Rebecca, how true. It’s all about the stunning being within not the outer presentation.
when you feel that beauty within, no longer is fashion the exhausting chasing of something to make you feel beautiful, but instead a fun and confirming way of expressing what is felt within on the outside
So true Rebecca – we have to appreciate and allow the inner beauty to be felt and from that place choosing something to wear to confirm how we are feeling in the moment (playful, sexy, delicate, powerful etc) is a completely different feeling from choosing clothes to hide any lack of self worth etc and impress the temporal world.
“I have found that it doesn’t matter how utterly stunning the clothes you are wearing are, until the person wearing them feels utterly stunning – with or without them, then they will do nothing to make that person feel beautiful, because there isn’t any beauty already felt for the clothes to confirm”.
I agree, and in some ways I find it more challenging – its far harder for me to choose a outfit for me and how i feel, but only because doing it to look good in the world and try to boost my confidence has been such a normal thing; but it doesn’t have to be that way, and if we start having a go at dressing for us and how we feel, it can become just as normal and far more natural and loving.
This made me laugh because of the irony of it and because I can see it being so true ‘Even when I wanted to quit being fashionable, I was still seeking approval in the anti-fashion statements that I wore.’ Thanks for the honesty 💕
Yes I agree Vicky with the irony of the statement by Adele – how we are seeking approval even going ‘against the grain’ of fashion – how often is this an illusion in thinking this is making a statement about ourselves.
‘Even when I wanted to quit being fashionable, I was still seeking approval in the anti-fashion statements that I wore.’
It’s so interesting Adele how you say that you used fashion as a protection; as someone who isn’t in the fashion industry and also wears a uniform at work instead of choosing my outfits every day, it is a valuable insight, and I can also see how I use different methods to protect myself in the same way. For me, it was always through my intelligence throughout school – I defined myself and allowed others to define me by my grades, and although I achieved being ‘great at school’, I ultimately still felt empty, as you describe
Great insight Jessica we can use so many different things as a protection or armour against not feeling good enough just for who we are. I can certainly relate to using fashion, academic achievements, holidays, jobs and even relationships of ways keeping me removed and safe from rejection.
We can use many things to be seen as fashionable and cool, hiding and protecting what is in our essence. Some take on quite harmful behaviors of substances to keep up with the ‘in’ crowd. One activity to another might seem to be more harmful and yes substances are very damaging and clothes could seem quite harmless but the motivation behind them can be the same.
Very true Jenny, we can use all these things; “fashion, academic achievements, holidays, jobs and even relationships” and so much more to ‘protect’ ourselves
Jessica, it is an illusion that the fashion industry has it together in knowing fashion and style, because most of us only know a part of what fashion is, yet any compartmentalization does not lead to the full truth.
That’s an important insight – I think for a lot of people when someone works in an industry, such as fashion, the rest of society can categorise them as ‘knowing their stuff’ about their area – but what if we all actually had important parts to know and play in each industry, and instead of seeing it as compartmentalisation we saw it as actually working together? That would get rid of the dog-eat-dog mentality all together
Your second line is a huge line: “I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” How powerful to share that. I often felt like I did not have the right clothes to look as womanly as I would like to look. Though I realised later it had nothing to do with not having the right clothes, it had to do with how I moved and was with my body, was that femininty? The more I live as the beautiful woman I am the more I see it coming through in my clothes even though I am still wearing the same clothes as before!
When we choose clothes because of the brand, we are adopting someone else’s idea of how they thought we should look. When we buy clothes because we like them, they fit well, the colours are our favourite colours, then they express who we are, and wearing them is both a confirmation and a celebration.
We are what brings value to our clothes, not the other way around.
Awesome, Kylie- this is so punchy and true! I have spent many years thinking that clothes are my expression and can truly feel now that my clothes are a medium of expression for me to express from my innermost.
Carmel, it is interesting that there is almost nothing I wish to buy even though I work in the fashion industry, exactly because of what you have shared, designs can come from very strong ideals that do not feel true in expression when discernment and responsibility come in.
At times people will offer us a compliment with how great we look in something, that it really suits us. In our selves we know that what they are feeling is the way we feel about ourselves and we have chosen the clothes that absolutely reflects our quality. This where what we choose to wear comes from our own senses of who we are and looking fabulous has nothing to do with fashion.
Sandra very true, fashion is what we make of it. Fashionistas, fashion is not about the clothes, it is about us!
Thank you Adele, this is a really refreshing look at how we dress and what it says to others. It is a big difference you have outlined between dressing to put a false image out there, as opposed to dressing to further express your love.
Absolutely Bernard, and the huge difference between wearing clothes to fit an image or clothes to further express our love and celebration of ourselves is not only felt by us, but everyone else around. As soon as someone walks into a room everyone can sense how they are and whether the way they walk and have dressed is to help or hinder their natural confidence and appreciation of themselves.
‘What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes.’ A great way to describe this feeling, yes, I think we are slaves to many of the false relationships we have and the ideals we have taken on.
I agree Michelle, we are in a way a slave to looking like the perfect representation of where fashion is at the time – and when you don’t there can be a pressure or tension.
That is truth Michelle, the seeking to be nice in itself has already enslaved us in fitting in, and from that we have stepped away from honesty and truth. This can be said of every relationship we have with life.
This is an amazing article Adele blowing the lid off the fashion industry and our addiction to it from looking out side ourselves to feel beautiful . The more we learn to love and appreciate ourselves the more beautiful we feel from within and this is what cannot be contained but oozes out; in contrast to the emptiness and false exterior and the need for clothes which never really satisfy us long term. A wardrobe and body of love is the magic and the true being of ourselves and our divine beauty and this changes everything.
Adele I love this transformation you share here of dressing from your heart and not your head. Wow what a gorgeous way to confirm where we are at and not hold back. Clothes that celebrate us confirm us. But as you shared, it started with loving yourself first and not holding back that love, which is something that as we choose to do more and more, ie to be more gentle with our movements, more present in the moment, nurturing ourselves, then clothes simply become a reflection of this and not a fashion statement. As you say – this is true fashion 😉
Hvmorden, we are all so equally grand, love does not compare. Why do we not dress every day in the most amazing glorious wardrobe which is love, celebrating ourselves from head to toe, it is only normal! We are all absolutely the same as souls, that is what we are here to express.
This just makes me smile Adele. The other day I was buying some clothes, and I simply celebrated my changing body, and instead of buying dark clothes to hide in, I bought bright clothes that I felt really supported me to just be me. It wasn’t about fashion, but about the colours I was drawn to. I loved this experience and when I wear the clothes it reminds me of simply appreciating ourselves. So to have a changing relationship with clothes is possible, and is something that can really support us to claim who we are, without having to put trend before truth.
That is great, Doug. Especially for men, since we can get into a very utilitarian point of view when it comes to our clothes. The idea of feeling good in what we wear sometimes takes a back seat to what we do, which then fits very snugly into the image that most men have about themselves: that we are only as good as what we do. Our clothes then reflect this to the world and say: I am a banker, I am a bricklayer, or I am ready to take on the outdoors.
Fashion and the way it is promoted, adhered to and invested in as a multi billion dollar industry (a law unto itself) shows the extent, reach and control it has when we choose to use it as the protection you describe Adele – one where; “I was using fashion to be everything but my true self”
This is very true fashion is heavily invested in both from the businesses and as consumers.
Rosanna, the fashion industry makes money through the emptiness of the world, and this industry can only exist because emptiness is a norm, whether we produce for this industry or we buy from this industry. The addiction to fashion is not unlike the addiction to food, drugs or emotions, it is a cover up towards the emptiness we all feel. Yet, there is another way to approach fashion, and that comes from feeling the love within.
“The addiction to fashion is not unlike the addiction to food, drugs or emotions, it is a cover up towards the emptiness we all feel.” This is so exposing Adele, awesome statement, that fashion is used in the exact same way as the need to eat to cover up what we do not want to face.
Fashion, like art has a fundamental flaw in my opinion. Both are founded on the notion that we can create something original that makes us different from everyone else and therefore special and separate in some way. But the truth is there is no original thought. Everything comes from a collective consciousness that we align to and therefore all thoughts are fed to us from this energy. There is no true originality. It is all based on what energy we choose. Also we are awesomely beautiful divine beings but we are not special or powerful in our individuality but only truly powerful together when we accept our interconnectedness and interdependence with each other and with the universe.
Nothing is true if it is not built from the foundation which is love. Being in an industry such as fashion and art, it is necessary to be aware of and express all that is not true, and yet understand the choices of this industry, as truly so Andrew, we are interconnected and the power is in what choices are made collectively.
Andrew, identifying with any ideal and/or belief thinking that is then who we are, be it fashion or art, is a flaw. What is flawed is not the people, as every single person is love in essence, but it is our choice to be ignorant that we are love and inter-connected and thus we separate in our individualism.
It is a great blog to ponder and feel which clothes are there to nurture me and which clothes are there to hide behind comparison and exclusiveness.
There is much here to really consider Kerstin and this article is very powerful in how it really opens up the enormity of what true connection is and how clothes can be another way of express our true selves.
Yes kerstinsalzer15 it absolutely is.
Yes it is worth considering each time we dress is this nurturing and expressing me in this moment or is it for reasons other than this so I feel less or more.
It has been amazing to watch your transformation Doug over the last few months. Whilst we may think what we wear is not important, it is as ultimately everything matters. But as you say it is not going out and trying to make yourself look or be anything but rather being yourself and valuing who you are.
What you share Doug is great as clothes are part of our expression and if we narrow ourselves to one brand or look whether it is the fashion or not we are not expressing who we truly are we are and are reacting to the world around us. I love buying clothes that feel good and it is the ones that feel good that I wear again and again regardless of the fashion.
I remember as a teenager constantly feeling inadequate in how I dressed having no idea at the time it was to do with how I was feeling inside. This continued into adult hood and it has been in more recent years that I am feeling comfortable in my clothes as I am finding it much more easy to shop but more so because I am accepting of myself and enjoying being in my own body. I can see now how my relationship with clothes is always based on my relationship with myself first.
It is so true that particularly in our teenage years we can seek to belong or assume an identity for ourselves by wearing clothes and brands that are popular. Having said that it is true at any age, if we are not happy with who we are on the inside.
‘I can see now how my relationship with clothes is always based on my relationship with myself first’ Great point jsnelgrove36, much easier and more fun to buy clothes for self when we know who we are.
Quite often I find that fashion can be about the sexualisation of a person’s body, be us male or female, how we dress can have sole intention of making us sexually desirable. And this puts a lot of pressure on to a person to be something that they essentially are not.
I hear what your saying Shami – I have fallen for this hook, especially in high school, the shorter my skirts the better! It was a very hooking energy with the intention to tease boys and get attention or recognition for being sexy, but it wasn’t true sexy, it was sexualised. I have no problem with wearing tight short dresses or skirts now, but the intention behind me wearing it is different. It’s no longer to hook people but to enjoy my body and not hide my curves sass. I feel like there is a big difference in dressing to honour the true sexiness in women. Thanks to Natalie Benhayon for strutting her stuff no matter what!
And when one outfit doesn’t work, or bring us the satisfaction we are seeking – we simply move onto another. It can be a VERY expensive exercise!
Shami and Rachael that is true and in my reaction towards how sexualization of women is not true, I have done just the opposite and even wearing short skirts have even been impossible for me in the past, how interesting! No matter how my reaction looked, I was not truly wearing the stillness of my heart, until I began bringing back love into my life through self-care and deep nurturing, what I naturally wear then is the deepening of my own self-worth.
The opposite can equally be true – that we use clothes to keep people away, to avoid being seen and not be seen as sexually desirable.
Agreed Richard, and that’s the way it has played out for me where I used clothing to hide and be unseen and in that not to take responsibility and be accountable for my behaviours/ choices.
There are many fashion designs that speak of hiding richardmills363, and these have been branded as cool, yet whether it is overtly expressing sexuality or a hiding of our bodies, it still feels like protection. Fashion is all about protection, and that is understandable from the cruelty, competition and harshness that we have chosen as an industry. Wearing our trueness we are transparent and protection is not needed, which does not mean we go naked to the streets of course, but we dress true rather than from a rule, with designs made from the fabric of brotherhood.
Ah huh… Yes Kylie! I can totally relate to that – a very expensive cycle indeed. The chopping and changing looks to desperately try and cover up or distract myself from the emptiness within. My wardrobe has become so simple now that love has taken the drivers seat.
In contrast to running for fashion and not being satisfied, I have experienced another phenomen too. Wearing exactly the same outfit on different occasions but never feel the same. You even don’t look the same even you wear the same outfit. It depends on how I feel that day, how connected I am with me and that is emanating out to be seen and felt by the world. From amazing and beautiful to ordinary and contracted – everything is possible, I feel it is the state of being which matters.
I do too Sonja, wear practically the same clothes every day to work, but it never feels boring and always feel fresh, Wearing love is just forever stylish and inspiring.
Great point Sonja. This yet again confirms that it is not about the ‘clothes’. Through how we are living we are actually choosing how we are going to look well before the clothes are put on.
Hi Sonja, what you point our here would be a great article in itself. Often in magazines they compare one woman against the other when they have been seen wearing the same outfit – making it all about who has the better body and fashion accessories when really it will always come down to who is more connected and in joy with themselves. Imagine if we were taught this, that our looks come from our inner-connection – now that is one way to start a fashion revolution.
Absolutely so Laura, our connection with ourselves, the emanation of our light is beautiful no matter what we choose to wear, and this is what is being felt in the pictures of magazines.
“No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident.” As you eloquently describe our contentment – even joy – comes from within. No amount of outer accoutrements can make happiness last for very long.
Very good point Sue – as even if we feel pleasure when someone compliments us on our ‘look’, it is only short-lived, and can even be destroyed as soon as someone gives us a look that could be interpreted (if you were looking hard enough) that your outfit wasn’t on point
That is so true Sue, I caught myself going shopping as a pattern whenever there is something held back or there is more to commit to in life, as there is a void there which needs to be filled and it was an illusion that by buying clothes or wearing what may seem to complete what I am missing would work, but it definitely does not, as this pattern has lasted for many years! Dealing with my own emptiness from the inside out, being present to all that life brings, expressing what is being felt, and returning to caring and nurturing myself deeply, has changed this momentum.
Reading this blog has reminded me of the power of reflection. Do we wear clothes that carry the message of “i’m different, I’m an individual, there is nobody like me, I am unreachable, untouchable”? or do we dress ourselves in such a way to remind everyone we meet that we are awesome beings connected to each other and stronger together, and that we are open to others?
Thank you Adele for bringing up this important aspect of fashion. In the past I have used fashion to get attention and recognition from other people. But “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” So we wear a certain type of fashion and play a role which comes with it…
I can so relate to this Janina, wearing different clothes to play different roles; use them to fit in, stand out, be left alone and so on and so on. Amazing how clever we are at disguising the outer so we can hide the inner.
Love your comments Andrew. I can relate to choosing/wearing clothes to be better than others or just to not stand out. It still creeps in but is fun to now make it more about adorning my body with clothes that express the being in me.
Andrew well observed. There is much ego and personality in wanting to be noticed, admired, seen as unique in a way that sets us apart from others. Far better to express through dress that which connects rather than separates us.
Yes Kehinde, and the well known phrase ‘fashion statement’ is exactly that. Clothes are so often used to make a ‘statement’, as a way of saying ‘look at me, Im different and I do (or don’t want to be) noticed’ but it so often comes with an attitude or energy that feels seperative. To dress in a way that inspires and connects us to others on the other hand is completely different and comes with an energy that is inclusive and loving.
There was a time Sandra when I was this way: ‘trying’ to be different, wanting to stand out, wore the most extravagant clothes ( the 70’s) to be noticed, when in truth I was scared and hurting inside. I agree ‘To dress in a way that inspires and connects us to others on the other hand is completely different and comes with an energy that is inclusive and loving’.
This is true that clothing is a way of “that sets us apart from others.” so can be used to keep us separate from each other, but maybe this is part of the fashion industries game? We play along though as we want to maintain our identity and think we do this through whats on the outside rather than accepting and embracing all we are naturally within first.
Yes Julie we can use clothing to maintain ‘false’ identities. Once we connect to the truth of who we are: an equal reflection of One Humanity, game over.
Great questions Andrew – everything is a reflection and this has me pondering even the simple self loving choices I make about what I where to bed, how I keep myself warm and loved when I rise on a cool morning, how the clothes I relax in around the house each day feel, it all comes back to the love, intention and willingness to prepare all of ourselves to be out in the world.
Great comment Andrew. So often clothes and image serve as a barrier to connection – someone trying to define who they are and their beliefs through their clothes which often invites stereotyping.
I’m always blown away by people who dress in connection with themselves which is in connection with all others too. Their expression comes through how they have dressed, reflecting to others we too are beautiful, no different and can choose this. I also get to feel where I haven’t chosen this for myself and this can be painful. But without this I wouldn’t seek my choices so clearly and be given such a clear choice to be more loving. I so appreciate those who stand in their glory who are communicating that they love themselves and everyone so much they are not prepared to hold back their expression.
I love what you raise here Karin, that choosing the clothing we wear does not have to be just for ourselves but also to consider what is being reflected for others to then be inspired and make their choices.
Much more recently I can say that I am dressing more to reflect how I really appreciate my own inner beauty and qualities and that I am open to letting others in more. Thanks Andrew for the comparison.
So true, Andrew. My identity used to be part and parcel with my clothes. If I had to wear something that was not part of my usual “uniform” I felt very uncomfortable. I never really thought about it in the way that you put it, though. My way of dressing was so identified with the scene I was a part of that it kept others who were not part of the same scene away from me, and closed me off from the world.
Isn’t it interesting that we can create ways of shutting people out even by how we dress! This is such an important topic as choosing clothes is something everyone in the entire world does, and many do with a conscious or subconscious intent to hide or protect, become someone they’re not or out of reaction to something else.
And yet, we do so without a second thought thinking that we are just “being ourselves”.
The term ‘Uniform’ you have used Naren I can very much relate to, as men we have our image or way of dressing that we feel safe in, confident in, for me its my work clothing, it give’s the message out I know what I’m doing and feel safe and protected in that (so leave me alone). I feel as men we often dress in a way that is safe and protected and doesn’t stand out, as we deeply fear being rejected in any way.
That is so very true, Thomas. Just look at what options that men have to wear for formal occasions or work. It is very uniform-like to begin with, and I can totally see how safe it is played to make sure that there is no possibility of being rejected by another man. If everyone is wearing a tuxedo, then there is no chance that I will stand out and no chance that I will be cut down by anyone.
Very important point Andrew – what we present and reflect to others through our clothes is a powerful reflection. If we are in disregard, not caring about how we look after and dress ourselves for example, we give the message that this way of being is normal and acceptable. Its not just our clothing that people feel its how we choose it, how present and loving were we when we got dressed – that’s all felt by other people.
A great question Andrew to ponder each day as we open the wardrobe to make the choice of what to wear. I know many times I have held back on wearing certain things because I have felt a little wary that it may be ‘too much’, or I might stand out. Of late I have cast this aside and know that the care and love that I take to dress beautifully is a reflection for others to know that they too can choose this.
Absolutely Andrew. The illusion of individuality. The action of making ourselves look different from everyone in a bid to give ourselves a sense of identity and fullness. I have so often played this game. Horrible, exhausting and eternal. Eternal because it doesn’t stop when you have put the clothes on…no…then you spend the rest of your day/night seeking the looks, comments and recognition. It’s so shocking to ponder it now. How often and to what extent I was swept up in this.
In fact. I use the past tense – ‘was swept up in this’. But only last week it happened. I was going to meet a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen for years. In the past we shared a love of clothes – especially retro sports wear like Fred Perry, Duffer, Fila etc… we also shared a bit of competition around it – kinda like two male peacocks fighting for the prize! Anyway, last week, as I was getting dressed in the morning I clocked that he was in my mind as I was choosing what to wear. Crazy! Anyway, I stopped that one from running and wore a bright pink cashmere sweater and we had the most glorious time together!!
Love will never go out of fashion.
Beautifully expressed Andrew.
And neither will true expression! When we choose clothes that flatter our personality and individual expression it’s impossible to look anything but stylish!
Great point Susie – if we all had clothes from our individual expression then there possibly wouldn’t be trends as such, as everyone wouldn’t be looking to follow a particular style as we would all have our own
So true. We cannot ever squeeze all that we are into a limited ‘look’ or ‘style’. When we be who we are, our style exudes from us and we add a multi-dimensionality to the very notion of fashion.
Susie, love this comment – it’s a cracker!
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ Love, is a great shirt, jacket or coat to wear, always in fashion.
By the sheer fact that love is chosen and worn first results in the rest of the outfit being resplendent.
Love it!
It is that classic basic item that goes with everything 🙂
Nothing in the temporal world truly makes sense to me if love is not the ingredient. We can certainly try to fit in and convince ourselves that this is how the world is and we have made this normal, but the body just finds it baffling. No matter how many tantalizing styles there are out there, nothing feels true but that which is from the inside, the place where there is no seeking, no comparing, there is just one thing and that is love–it is the forever timeless classic.
Love this Diana. How often are we sold the that goes-with-everything item?! When we all already have it – in every single shape, size, style, colour.
That it is Diana. And it will never go out of fashion.
Hear hear Andrew. Short, sweet and very powerful sentence.
Love is solid, your absolutely correct it will never go out of fashion. It will just deepen in everyone’s heart.
Amita your words literally made my heart sing. Beautifully said.
Beautifully and very true Andrew, this is something that we can never escape from.
Never Andrew and thank God for that. At last we have discovered an item in our wardrobe that is so classic, so well designed, well made and completely divine that we will never want to stop wearing it!
Gorgeous one-liner Andrew with a depth of truth that is unmistakable being felt in my body as I read it.
I remember my mum saying that she kept clothes from the 80’s and 90’s because she knew they would ‘come back’ into fashion. Interesting idea the ‘coming back’ thing and it reminds me of cycles and circles coming back to themselves. We are returning to the ultimate fashion statement – to be the Love we are and express that in all we do.
Yes the ultimate fashion statement is to be the love we are and to express it in full. Like it Rachel!
Spot on Rachael, I appreciate the fashion industry every single day, for it presents so clear the opportunity that we are governed by cycles, and we are offered every single season another chance to look at what we have chosen, and there is always a choice to truly change, do we choose to be love in our relationship with clothes or not? Do we choose to open this reflection in the way we dress every day for the whole world or not? In the future of fashion there is no chase and competition, but constant and forever celebration in cycles.
Returning to the ultimate fashion statement, by truly expressing the love that we are in everything we do, beautiful Rachel.
Beautifully and simply said – thank you Andrew – one size fits all.
Very true Andrew, your comment made me smile. No matter how hard we may try there is just no getting away from love.
Love-ly Andrew
Great comment Andrew. Who needs the bling of accessories when you’ve got Love shining through.
🙂 love this Matthew!
Bling is not needed but a confirmation of the glory we feel inside ~ but never should it be there to show or dictate how we feel!
Ahahah andrewmooney26 that is truly a very good slogan – if I wear love I would be never out of fashion or everything I choose to wear out of love is never out of fashion – that saves a lot of money.
No clothes, or job, or relationship can ever compensate for us not choosing to express who we are. They are byproducts of our expression not a replacement for it.
Very good point Andrew, I like how you write here that these are all just byproducts of us expressing who we are, they are not the be all and end all.
I agree Jessica and ignoring the big picture can allow such a misery that makes it harder to come back from.
Very true – if we ignore the bigger picture, no matter how ‘difficult’ it might be to see in the short term, it is worth it because otherwise we will have a bigger lesson to learn later down the track
I loved this comment from Andrew too. The by product is not the whole and hence clothes are not an expression of us all in our completeness.
So true. And the ways and things we have and use to compensate is a big signal of the level of true expression that we are or are not choosing from who we are.
Spot on Johanna and Andrew, it is what we use to hide ourselves, to distract ourselves so as not to show the world who we are….
Hello Andrew, I agree and we use these as a protection or a guard. These things shouldn’t lead the way and as you say who we truly are comes first and the “clothes, or job or relationship” follow.
Agree here Ray, who we truly are needs to come first because it is from his place that shows and unveils all our glory, all our beauty, all of our incredible self. If we hide this in clothes how will and does the world see how much light and love each and every one of us has! I am understanding this so much more the last few weeks and really can feel the power of dressing for me, as opposed to an ideal of what I ‘should’ be wearing~ it’s completely freeing!
Thank you Natasha and the dedication is to the truth, whether that be the truth of who you are or what you are wearing. We need to stay true to what we feel no matter if at the time it makes no sense. Life has a flow and it cycles through that flow, to be true to what you feel is inline with that flow and then it matters not what you wear as you are already there.
That’s it Ray and Andrew – and the ‘clothes, job or relationship’ become the medium for us to express who we truly are. So if you like, we could say that the ‘confidence’ or the presence of ourselves and the solidness we bring is what gets to be revealed to the world through these ‘tools’ (the clothes etc). But these tools will always remain the tools of our expression and should never take precedence of who we are.
Hello Henrietta, I look at things like this. We feel everything, all the time. So life is about allowing yourself to feel and responding from there. This all happens in an instant and so it’s not about what clothes to wear or anything like that. It’s all an extension of what you feel and so I agree they are ‘tools’, a mere front to what is already there on the inside.
Totally agree Ray, when living the truth of who we are, clothes, job or relationship become a natural extension of our true expression.
Beautiful and very true statement Andrew. Our relationship with ourselves is key. Anything else is simply the expression of where we are at .
That is so true andrewmooney26 nothing can ever replace or compensate who we truly are as nothing can be felt so exquisite . . .
Beautiful words Andrew, thank you.
Wow what an eye opening blog on image. l’d love to see this in the mainstream magazines. What an expose on what is really going on.
Great point Irena, Adele’s blog certainly exposes how we use clothes to hide behind, impress others or disguise our emotions. Connecting to and honouring her real qualities of love and fragility has freed her from the confines of a very controlling industry. How amazing if this were to be widely broadcast, because in reality the clothes we wear can only ever be a reflection of how we feel inside, regardless of which fashion house or high street store they have been purchased from. Its who we are inside that matters most and once we have connected to our precious essence, the desire to be fashionable melts away in favour of truly wearing clothes that equal the divine quality of our Love.
That would be amazing. Imagine and article like this published in a fashion mag. It could be titled ‘Learning to wear your greatest fashion accessory – You!’
Awesome title johanna08smith! I am ready to submit, any fashion magazines to suggest?
Brilliant Johanna, I would love to read that!
LOVE THE TITLE johanna08smith. This could make the fashion industry, as it is, redundant!
In my experience fashion editors love to be approached by the public with ideas for related articles. I did this once in the late 70’s and a major fashion magazine said yes to my proposal to write an article about the absence of black women in magazines and lack of beauty products designed for them.
Very true shevonsimon that in connection with ourselves first and foremost, it is our essence that we choose to put on and it is a deep beauty that none can surpass. This is a catwalk that invites everyone to join in deep respect, gentleness and understanding to trust again and feel this essence equal to us all, it may take a while but what a grand finale this catwalk could be.
Awesome title Johanna! I love it!
Indeed it would bring a real stop and moment to consider what are we really seeking in our pursuit of dressing well.
I agree Irena, the fashion mags don’t discuss any of the internal struggle which goes on when choosing clothes – they must know more than anyone, as they live and breathe fashion but I suppose it has it’s own investments and belief systems making things happen. Adele’s article is definitely an eye opener.
Fashion magazines exist because of advertising and sponsorship from major fashion retailers and brands. They are in the business of selling magazines which in turn, sells brands. Having said that, the fashion industry is under scrutiny right now for its use of super thin models at fashion shows. This could be extended by articles written to explore the psychology of fashion and its influence on the consumer.
Yes Julie, there is this ‘internal struggle which goes on when choosing clothes.’ I know this all too well and yet, until I read your comment, I had thought it’s only me who has this!!! But is this unspoken taboo the fashion industry is complicit in because it is all about clothes and yet doesn’t mention this struggle. It’s goal is to sell clothes so it cannot introduce doubt about a product.
I love that this is now in the open so I’m more aware and open to feeling the tussles in the changing room I have with myself. I wonder if the shop assistants realise the support they give to people like me; or if they think all they do is the practicalities of their job like counting the number of clothes people take in and out. I can only assume most people take their self-worth issues shopping so I wonder if many shop assistants go home emotionally exhausted not knowing why.
Absolutely Irena. In the mainstream magazines would be great.
I agree,it’s refreshing, inspiring, and straight to the point. Love is so the new cool!
It’s the quality of love you hold yourself in that makes the outfit, as you say here Adele, Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” Love this Adele. We don’t need a magazine or the latest trend to tell us what to wear and what’s ‘in’ as you do eloquently put it, just let your heart lead the way.
Adele, I know you as a consummate professional in the fashion industry and what you expose here is revolutionary; when you say “I was the slave of my relationship with clothes”, it epitomises what we project onto all and sundry that might just give us what we don’t give ourselves. And of course, it doesn’t work. This is not the fault of the fashion industry but it exposes this skewed relationship we have with what is outside of us to bring to us what we so achingly miss, i.e. ourselves.
That is so awesome to hear you are embracing that Doug. Enjoy dressing you!
I have recently cleaned out my wardrobe which I do regularly but this time it was different. With some of the items I had previously worn they felt really ill fitting and tight. They did not feel flowing and lovely on my body. It highlighted to me the next level of support for myself and how I feel in my clothes. They were no longer supporting me and my body, so time to clear what is not supporting and appreciating the awareness of what my body brings. Everything offers us a reflection of learning and deepening the intimacy we share with ourselves and others.
Your blog’s reminding me somehow of the order in my wardrobe. Years ago I’ve chosen to lay out all my socks, underwear, shirts, etc. in a spacious way. Up until today I can feel how this is actually very supportive. And a lot of Joy as everytime I open my wardrobe, I’m enjoying the tidyness and spaciousness. And it is actually so very simple. Just a choice. And the beauty is that once I’ve taken this next step, it’s as if it’s forever there. Supporting and reflecting the level of love I hold for myself.
I love what you have shared here Floris. I too love to have my wardrobe set out in a loving and supportive way. I have just bought myself two new shoe racks for the bottom of my wardrobe and all of my shoes now have room to breathe and be seen. Such a lovely supportive way to bring love into all facets of our life. Simply awesome.
I love Kelly, how you describe space (breathe) and being seen so practically. I can be a bit ‘up in my head’ and missing the practicalities of life. As I read your words I come to realise how simple, yet profound, this actually is. That life on earth is actually fascinating and so much Joy if we allow ourselves to bring our Love towards life. There’s an absolute honour and simplicity in what you write. I personally love the combination!
That is beautiful Doug, keeping up any persona is actually very hard and it would not be true, for the truth is we are always evolving and deepening and never staying in stagnation, so when our innermost has deepened, our outer expression naturally wishes to follow. What you have expressed is so playful and joyful and love to see that expressed in your true style makeover!
ha ha Doug, loved your comment and remember that song very well. I also have transformed my wardrobe. I never felt the beauty I now experience before Universal Medicine and that was reflected in my clothes. As my connection to my inner beauty increases so too does my outer reflection change to match that both for my own enjoyment and also that of others.
In the past I was not aware that others actually looked at me or saw me and did not connect to how much EVERYTHING we do, say, think, how we look, move, all that we reflect matters. As everything makes an impression we also have a responsibility in what impression and reflection we offer. I have found enormous joy in reconnecting to true purpose and energetic responsibility.
Your expression here is beautiful Nicola and I can feel your inner transformation and how this is reflected in your dress. It is amazing that you were not aware that anyone looked at you or way you! You are an inspiration in both in your expression and in your open and honest examples of your lived life! Thank you.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ …. just beautiful, Adele. I have never been ‘interested’ in fashion and have used my lack of enthusiasm to hide away and blend in. A few days ago I had a school function to attend, knowing a lot of people dress up, my initial impulse was to wear my standard trousers, flat shoes and a shirt …. however, suddenly I felt to wear a really beautiful dress with gorgeous shoes, for me, not for anyone else, but to embrace and enjoy the beautiful woman that I am. It was deeply touching to be confirmed in my choice to wear that dress through the lovely comments people made all day long.
In my case I never paid a lot of attention to what I wore before I discovered Universal Medicine but now I love my clothes. Over the years since I have connected deeper and deeper to my true self my wardrobe (including my underwear) has completely changed. I have noticed how when we reconnect to our true selves many things on the outer naturally change. Some people lose a lot of weight, some gain weight, clothes change, hairstyles change, I have started wearing makup which I never did – it is beautiful to see our true expression evolve and shine.
Your comment on being anti-fashionable made me laugh. Being anti-fashionable takes just as much effort as being fashionable. Perfecting that look is no different to perfecting any other look, it just has the guise of “I don’t care”.
Nikki, being anti-fashion with the “I don’t care” is even more harming than coming out straight to say that” I am a fashion victim” in that it adds dishonesty and lots of judgement.
Yes, I hadn’t seen that side to it, but it is true indeed.
What an honest account. Getting to such a realisation with oneself takes huge amounts of honesty.
‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ What an ouch line that gave me a lot to feel.
I can feel that too Kim but not just from clothes but from so many choices, where to shop, what music I used to listen to, the car I drive, the university I chose etc. etc. We are used to making so many choices to identify us or being recognised from things outside of us. This is beautifully exposed in this blog with the truth of where we can really discover who we are and then express this to others.
Absolutely Michael, it’s the illusionary search we embark on to find what we are already holding within.
WOW Adele, I love this blog. I could relate to it all. You have taken fashion to a new level. I still seem to hook myself in this tragic fashion loop, using it to fill a void that only love can. When I look at it like that, it exposes it for the trick that it is. How could fashion ever compare to the true beauty that shines within, crazy.
I have no connection to fashion at all, and I am not extremely interested in it, but yet, I still enjoyed this blog because you were honest.You wrote with your heart, and I really admire you for that as I have just started my blog (I would love it if you checked it out!). Thank you for writing such an inspirational and beautiful piece.
Tess 🙂
Tessbloggs, I look forward to reading your piece!
I was the opposite, in, around 11 to 14 I used to feel really awkward about buying clothes and they never felt right or what I wanted to wear. I felt this was due to lack of confidence and also not feeling really truly connected to me. We are not taught or given tools how to deepen the connection with ourselves when we grow up .. it is more look to the outside with magazines and media to role models that are not real and have been airbrushed. This has changed loads for me now though and with the help and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health and role models like Natalie Benhayon my relationship with myself still continues to deepen.
Haha Love this comment Doug. Yes we can certainly get stuck in an out dated idea of our self that can show in the way we dress. And yes clothing shopping is so much fun!
Yes Doug but by company do you mean that the key is that you are either with ‘you’ therefore in good company or against ‘you’. . . is that question? Or are you referring to the actual person who is with you as you are shopping who is reflecting the joy that you now are? I am guessing both . . . for you cannot really have one without the other, if you know what I mean, as all is joy when we are with ourselves; every interaction everywhere.
Thank you Adele for a great blog, I now have a different understanding of fashion, I had never thought of fashion as a comfort, I love these words “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” a new way for me to looking at what clothes to wear.
I remember in my teens dressing to be noticed, and then in my twenties, dressing in baggy clothes, sometimes even men’s clothes that were ill fitting. That was definitely to hide. Then I went through a phase of no longer wanting to hide but not really knowing what to wear, so I ended looking a little thrown together sometimes. My indecision showed in my outfits. Having finally begun to feel comfortable in my skin, I can see how its reflected in my choice of clothes and I now choose garments that suit me and feel comfortable to wear.
Last year I went to a costumed masquerade ball for the first time of my life. The process of choosing what to wear was very interesting and revealed a lot to me, but what was even more interesting was wearing this most beautiful ball gown ever (with a huge high wig). I could feel my movements change and it felt like I gave myself more space inside and outside: a feeling of expansion and royalty came over me. Since the party I have been saying to myself: I am allowed to be ‘big’ without the clothes and the wig.
The beautiful thing about going to the Universal Medicine retreat in Vietnam is it offers an opportunity to have some clothes made and play with your expression. It is surprising how different a dress looks if you wear exactly the colour or the shape that brings you out. Celebrating with clothes how amazing you are and feel is a different way of choosing clothes.
We can use clothes to dress ourselves down, for a party for example and then feel bad over it afterwards, or make an issue, when actually there is none. Clothes are a perfect distraction if you don’t connect to yourself and feel how you want to express yourself with them.
Yes I agree Monika and it just occurred to me reading your comment that how often do we actually go shopping for clothes as an escape or distraction or way of numbing out issues we may not be dealing with? So if we go shopping in this emotional state what kind of clothes are we actually going to choose? What impact must that have every time we then where those clothes on us and everyone around us?
Great question, Andrew, the imprint of the quality we bought the clothes in is there every time we wear them. This asks us to be very present when we buy clothes (or something else) and celebrate ourselves.
I love how you say “Clothes are a perfect distraction if you don’t connect to yourself and feel how you want to express yourself with them.” as we all have to wear them so it is not always realised how we might be using them in our lives. This means this blog is of great value as we have an opportunity to consider our own relationship with the clothes we wear. Thank you Adele.
Yes, jsnelgrove, the relationship we have with the clothes we wear is something to consider. And when writing this I realize we have a relationship with everything around us and often these relationships are reflections of the relationship we have with ourselves.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” Gorgeous conclusion of this very relatable blog. I don’t work in the fashion industry, yet I have used clothes for the same reasons Adele describes: to cover up my lack of self-worth/make myself ‘ more than another and also to wear an armor/a protection against others. Clothes or fashion don’t do that for you however, they don’t protect and don’t give you self-worth. The best protection ever, in fact no protection is needed anymore, is to wear, to be, to share LOVE.
Adele I love your presentation of what true fashion really is, and how it comes from the heart and not out of a magazine or off the cat walk, beautifully expressed.
Something that came to me while reading your blog Adele is how we all ‘put on clothes’ in our lives in different ways. By this I mean that we change the way we are and express to different people depending on the circumstance, situation, or perceived difference of the people we are communicating to. I certainly know I used to do this, and would act like a chameleon to change the way I talked and held myself depending on the particular person so as to be accepted or recognised by them, instead of feeling I could just be myself and that was more than enough. This has changed dramatically after coming to Universal Medicine, and now I find I can be at ease and not live that exhausting way of the ‘shape-shifter’ I once was.
Needing to keep up appearances is indeed deeply exhausting and complicated michaelgoodhart36, simplicity just feels much more natural—whether it is on how we dress or in any other way we express in life. When we express naturally from the heart with clothing, there is no limitation in how we are to express in style, color, shape, silhouette even gender, but none of these are rules or ideals either.
We all know that dressing ourselves in emptiness does not work and we can feel in on the catwalk and the high street. If we buy clothes to compensate and try and hide what’s missing on the inside, we’re simply clothes hangers. Supporting ourself from the inside with love is reflected whatever we wear, the true beauty shines out.
‘What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes.’ Your choice of the word ‘slave’ is apt Adele. When we are seeking recognition from the outside we are in fact enslaved. It is inspiring to read that you have moved beyond fashion trap and now work in the industry and not be enmeshed in it. You are a model of ‘true’ fashion, a trendsetter I hope!
We change our clothes according to the roles we play – how amazing to simply dress for ourselves – practical as necessary, but to make sure our clothes are a simple expression and confirmation of who we are.
I had that recently with a gold sparkly top that I really liked but had a script running in my head that it was the ‘wrong’ shape for my body shape, but I clocked that and the fact I really liked it and liked wearing it won out and I bought it. It has lots of wear and lots of comments on how great it is on me, if I had given into the pressure of the image of what I should or should not wear to get it ‘right’ I would have missed out on lots of sparkly winter days!
Just following up on something I just commented on about the opposite of what you present here Adele, but is exactly the same, I didn’t want to look like I cared about fashion and was not ‘bothered’ or ‘interested’ I didn’t actually own a mirror for 7 years! But what it showed was a real lack of love and care for myself and disconnection to who I was and what I wanted to express about who I was, I just was very given up. Like you after years of self care and still deepening it every day I am a different person in the sense I have let go of the false self and and are living much more true to who I actually am and that is gorgeous!
Vanessa, I can also relate to this same but seemingly opposite polarity, as I have jumped from fashion to living on a farm for 5 years, thinking I could relinquish all my “fashionable” past but in fact, I just picked up another ideal to get stuck with, shaved my head and wore frumpy and torn clothes that have been mended over and over again, broken shoes and wellies daily—ah to come back to now, more committed than ever in serving in the fashion world and dressed as me, which is such a joy and so simple.
Thanks for this Article Adele, it made me ponder on the way I dress. In the past I had always been a scruff but after taking a bit more care of myself I cleaned up my act got regular haircut shaved more often and started wearing smarter clothes. What I have just realised that the two for me seem to go hand in hand and are just as important in a total self-care regime.
Adele your list of how you were wearing fashion for protection is so relatable, not only to how I have used fashion but to many areas of my life. Great blog!
So honest Adele . . . ‘Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.’ Thank you
I am sure many women can relate to these words here.
Choosing what are we wearing is a daily act. The key is what do we choose. We choose mostly from the options we have when we open the wardrobe. The range says so much about where we are! What we choose then is a mere reflection and a confirmation of that. That is why, it feels natural to wear it.
The other side of the coin of dressing ‘up’ is dressing ‘down’. You can go from one to the other. The real thing is to express all of you… also through clothing.
Great advice Eduardo. It’s not about keeping up with the trends but dressing ourselves in appreciation of our true beauty. The outfit and our quality will reflect this.
Marika I am the same, I have got such a beautiful level of self regard that I do not compromise and make sure everything that I wear is comfortable and easy to wear. When you look back and see how much you would put yourself through in the name of ‘fashion’ and to ‘look cool’ it makes me cringe that was my normal and I didn’t even think about it – it was just what you had to do. Going back and looking at the corsets that they used to wear, they could handle breath they were so tight!
Often times, I got really bored of the clothing I was wearing and I had the expectation that through clothing I could change something that was not changing inside. That was a total illusion. Unless you become more colourful as a person, buying more colourful clothing will not do it. It will always feel alien to you because they are not really a true expression of where you are at.
Awesome, Eduardo.
[Style 101]: Acceptance
Acceptance of where we are at is a love that will start building our very awesome love closet
Love it Rohan; I mean Doug! I can relate to what you are expressing here. I too have chosen to buy my clothes to reflect more of my true beauty and even typing this is worth appreciating! The more I appreciate myself the less protection is present and the more open I become to choosing clothes that confirm my innate beauty. A work in progress…
Yes Doug, I cannot appreciate enough the awareness that has been brought to me by Universal Medicine and my choice in accepting the responsibility to connect with myself in a way that reveals the truth of who I am and in fact we all are! The clothing… well that is surely a reflection as Nicola has beautifully shared.
The key to leave clothing as protection and to embrace clothing as expression; as a natural extension of what is there already.
It is interesting to reflect a bit on where clothing enters the equation of our lives. To me, it was always part of my confirmation of where I chose to belong to and that was precisely the problem. Good taste aside, I did not choose to dress up in sync to my beauty and what I bring. I played both down. For a long time, my choice of clothes was the confirmation that I could do it without them (my beauty and what I bring). Coming from protection, it was like saying: ok this is all you will get from me (which was not much). Do not expect more from me. Pretty restricted.
Eduardo I could relate to how I have also reacted towards the exterior because of a deep knowing that what is within is the real deal, and in that reaction I have chosen to negate self-care, and in effect, I negated the glory that I am emanating, what I did not take was the responsibility to express truth.
Interesting point that we can use clothes to protect ourselves, and in that we are either stepping it up or stepping it down. We make ourselves lesser so not much is expected of us and we don’t have to take responsibility or we inflate ourselves to try and project a certain image of success and ‘having arrived’. Interesting really what we have done to the simple act of being clothed, just as interesting as what we have done to the simple act of eating.
Similarly Marika, I have found as I learn to feel more and look after myself first it changes what my selection of clothes is. Yes I want the shoes to look nice, but are they cushioned inside and how are they to wear all day? Shirts and trousers fit but are not too tight or in anyway uncomfortable.. Is the jumper that is the right colour, also going to be warm enough?
While reading I was reminded of a conversation I was having yesterday, about how I had set out a ‘stall’ on linked in and was being very particular about who got invited and how I present myself. So this compartmentalisation is not restricted to clothes, but is through life. We present different faces to different circumstances and that is exhausting. No wonder we get so muddled and tired. However, there is just one me, naturally so. If I present that at all times then it is so simple and effortless!
I love that Doug, thanks for sharing. There is definitely a balance between not being a ‘sheep’ who blindly follows fashion trends and styles but also not going the other way and not expressing ourselves through the clothes we wear. Some people are incredibly proud of their non-mainstream fashion sense, and others love that they keep up with clothes worn by celebs and models in magazines – it’s possible that both these kinds of people are not actually wearing clothes they felt to wear and what they feel comfortable in and are instead trying to create a certain image and picture.
Absolutely Susie, any ideal in how we want to look is still keeping us from truly expressing us. The only real fashion is being true.
Adele how amazing would it be if fashion was based on what felt true and supported the person wearing the clothes rather than how we normally use it to make ourselves look a certain way to be accepted or make us feel better?
the only thing I would add is that fashion does not need to be genderless in order to be true. Whilst I would say we definitely need to look deeply at how we allow ourselves to be defined by gender as a way of seeing ourselves as different to the other half, the practical fact of the matter is we cannot avoid our gender either, and so it should be something that is celebrated in full. If you are a woman, celebrate the fact, and do not hide your glory. If you are a man, celebrate the fact, and do not hide your glory.
Agree Adam 100%, and this may explain why I have struggled to find a dress that suits me!
Beautifully said Adam, we can celebrate being a woman or a man without it being divisive.
Absolutely Adam, our physicality is what we have been endowed with and it is our responsibility to respect it, but the soul speaks without gender and at times I do feel to express in ways not disrespecting or disregarding my physical body or gender, but expressing in an all encompassing whole which focusing on gender feels a limitation to.
Adam, this feels lovely, ‘If you are a woman, celebrate the fact, and do not hide your glory. If you are a man, celebrate it’, until recentry I did not do this, I wore masculine clothes, almost in denial of being a woman, now more and more I am wearing feminine clothes – this feels gorgeous, reading your comment I feel to deepen this and as you say to ‘celebrate’ being a woman.
As usual Adele your sharing is very relevant and timely Thank you.
“What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes. If I didn’t have a certain look that I was after, I would feel like it was the end of the world.” While I was never a slave to my clothes, I can very much relate to feeling that my day would be a disaster on the days when I couldn’t get my outfit together and therefore relying on my clothes to help me get through the day.
I was the opposite never really caring at all about my appearance, I would dip in and out of being interested in what was fashionable, but this was a veil that hid a deep insecurity of not daring to care.
Yes, I’ve bought a new dress recently but don’t have a jacket or cardigan to match – I feel very awkward because what I wear doesn’t quite ‘go’. So I’ll wait till the perfect partner comes along . . .
Very interesting blog Adele, thanks for sharing an insight into the fashion world and how you got lost in it. So glad that you have been inspired by Universal Medicine and now live you and wear what you love and feel to wear.
“… seeking to dress myself with all of my life” – what a beautiful way of describing expressing your true self.
‘This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue;’ wearing love most definitely is true fashion, I love this line, it is timeless, ageless and genderless. When we are wearing love we can put on any old item of clothing from a market stall or low budget clothing shop and feel and look amazing. It is our inner essence that shines, the clothes we wear are just a confirmation of this.
Adele this piece is very delicate and beautiful in the way it breaks the strong consciousness of what it means to be fashionable. It totally rings true. Wonderfully I could feel the change in self-worth as your relationship with clothes (and yourself) changed.
The first time I saw inner beauty being expressed I was stunned and felt in love instantly (with beauty) – it was nothing about the person by outer appearance but all the expression in the way she moved and emanated. Beauty is not just a feature of a person, it is divinity shining through the person expressing it.
And Alex so true that we are always emanating, no matter what we choose on the outside, we are emanating. The question then is, is what is emanated truthful to what is expressed on our exterior? If it is not, there would always be tension, not just within ourselves, but for every person we meet as well. Dressing up is fun but it is also responsibility!
That gives true understanding to the virtue of authenticity.
Agreed, true beauty and divinity certainly don’t have anything to do with what style of clothes we wear – they come from deep within and are divinely inspired and inspiring of others.
I could relate to trying so many different fashions, and it was because I would compare myself to someone who I felt was more popular or had style and then morph myself into that style. Since connecting with myself more over the years I’ve looked at my clothes as though another person bought them…I feel the desperation of trying to live up to an image.
My relationship with clothes used to be so stressful – it was full battle as I tried to modify myself, wear garments that were uncomfortable or inconsiderate of weather conditions, keep up with new trends, cover up my physical ‘faults’…
Fast forward 9 years and working with Universal Medicine and the change is nothing short of remarkable. I love clothes, I love the opportunity to express my developing relationship with myself, I love what (what I choose to wear) shows me, and NEVER (well, very rarely these days and my body shouts about it when it happens) do I compromise being warm, comfortable or well taken care of for a ‘should’ or new trend.
I can relate to your comment Matilda about not compromising “on being warm, comfortable or well taken care of for a ‘should’ or new trend.” There is a Dutch expression that says: ‘to be beautiful, you have to suffer pain’. To me this always was: ‘to be beautiful, you have to suffer cold’. Well not any more, no way. Also the days of covering up my gorgeous body with far too big and wide clothes are over. I am not afraid to share my sexiness with tight clothes.
Matilda I am with you on that, being warm is the first style of fashion I commend on my fashion students, self-care is the new black, self-love is the forever timeless classic.
This is a great point Matilda that I can relate to. I have often in the past as a man dressed in an uncomfortable way for my body in the name of fashion and basically fitting in with what everyone else was doing. How many fashions are actually based on truly supporting the body and the being? And how many are based on keeping up appearances and trying to be original at the expense of the body?
Isn’t interesting how some days some clothes look and feel better on than on other days… Clothes are a great marker and opportunity to check-in on how we are feeling and initiate action to deal with and shift a stuck behavioural pattern.
Absolutely Johanne, I often take note of this and give myself a moment to check in with myself.
It is incredible the identification that comes with wearing certain brands and labels of clothes. What i have noticed can happen is, when we loose that sense and presence of ourselves, our identification of who we are becomes based on the clothes we are wearing instead of the emanation of quality and presence of the body that the clothes are covering. Great blog Adele, there is so much to unpack on this topic of clothes…
I absolutely love this Adele. Having also worked in fashion retail for many years I can relate to much of what you have shared. The lengths we can go to, to in effect move further from who we truly are by hiding within the confines of our layers is huge. These layers can be clothing but also emotional or personal beliefs. These form a cloak of protection around us, leaving us feeling empty and lacking of the true depth we have within.
Supporting ourselves with such care and love removes the layers of protection and the beliefs that did not serve us to now feel what works for us is beautiful and deeply inspiring. Being able to wake up in the morning and feeling into what I want to wear for me or what will support me in my day and how I am feeling is an absolute delight. It’s a revelation and truly supportive of what it means to live our truth in full embodiment of who we are. Thank you Adele.
Hi Adele, thank you for sharing this. I have noticed that since I have been making more supportive choices for myself, how I feel about myself has completely changed. I now instinctively know what clothing styles and colours are right for me and when I dress I feel amazing because I feel nothing more than myself.
It seems that trying to be ahead of everyone, chasing the latest or more unique thing to wear is what makes a slave to fashion. We should wear what comes to us, what best expresses us, what we are happy in with no worry of what anyone thinks. Our basis for how we look at and feel about ourselves is love and that changes everything.
Adele this is a brilliant blog – move over Sarah Jessica Parker we have the real deal before us! What you share has so many layers to it and this condemned way we are living with our pictures that we hold onto of what we need to be instead of embracing all of who we are, is devastating. There were many points you raise that I love and this is one of them that jumped out – “Fashion is such an intimate part of our lives, and I began to question how I could dress myself to not feel perpetually empty.”… Serge Benhayon has brought truth, love and light to where we have avoided looking where we are at. To feel and chose the Love that we are and how Absolutely Divine this is you simply can’t dress yourself in emptiness and there is certainly nothing on the outside that you want to be.
This is awesome Natalie, Love and the City–coming to a cinema near you!
Totally brilliant Adele. It captures the struggle of humanity to know how to express who they truly are and the many insidious ways society makes very sure we stay off track in this quest. Thank you for showing us so clearly, how we truly come to express our own self and walk our own cat walk.
This quest to express, find ourselves is something which has haunted most of humanity in the western world. I am in education and can not only recall the intenseness of this feeling as a teenager but can now see the teenagers I’m with daily, struggle also to express. They seek acceptance and recognition, beit through conforming, copying, or so called rebelling. I love simply saying to them, who you are is your ‘cool’, who you are is what you are seeking, who you are is enough and amazing. So simple, but often such a tricky message to get across or for them to receive.
What a great message for all teenagers, ‘who you are is your ‘cool’. Love it Gina.
Ginadunlop, what a great message you have for teenagers “who you are is your “cool”, and not how you dress, who you associate with or what pop star you like. We need more people like you in the world who deliver these kinds of truths to teenagers.
When I think about fashion, and the clothes I have worn over the years it captures the confusion and hardship I have placed my life under. Confusion to try to aspire to ‘find’ me, always looking to the outside for this quest, expressed strongly through clothes. But it always left me empty and feeling even more confused. It was costly both financially and emotionally. How amazing now to go to my wardrobe and feel confident to choose something to express me – since I have done this I receive many compliments – because others can feel the difference.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” Absolutely gorgeous Adele and I agree when getting dressed for the day is just an extension of the love i’m connected to, my clothes support that expression.
Shelleyjones44 I find this too. When nothing in the wardrobe feels right it is a signal to sit and reflect for a moment and come back to myself.
It feels absolutely delicious and definitely worth sharing!
I really love this article Adele, I have much I can relate to here as I have found myself acting in very similar if not the complete same way as yourself when it comes to clothes.
However I have always known that their is a true purpose with clothing that can be expressed if we so choose, so it is great to feel that I have been stepping into just that. Thank you for your sharing here.
And, of course, our slavery to fashion comes in many different flavours e.g. hair styles, body piercing, tattoos, etc. All with the same underlying false notion that we need to gain approval and/or respect from others in order to validate ourselves.
Absolutely Tamara, I was very caught up in the notion that I needed tattoos and multiple piercings to fit in and gain approval. In my heart I didn’t want a tattoo and never did but I pushed myself to follow the crowd and do what everyone else was doing.
I love it Adele! “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” Nothing could be more beautiful to wear!
Adele ,what a great honest expose on fashion and how it is used as an escape or distraction for so many things . I love this line “Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?” It is amazing how as humans we can use just about anything to hide or distract ourselves way from our true selves or from developing a deeper relationship with our soul . The fashion industry to woman is what sports and cars are to men 🙂
Brilliant blog Adele – thank you. I feel this speaks for most of us “But the truth is, when I gave my power away to an outer image, no matter what I put on, it never gave me a true feeling of satisfaction. What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes.”
‘slavery’ is a very powerful word that brilliantly captures the stranglehold society has us in in ensuring we don’t get to discover that our true beauty lies within and the expression of that is the greatest most glamorous fashion show on earth.
It is quite fascinating to look at photos of the past and see how fashion shifts and changes…and goes through cycles. My ‘warddobe’ and how I express also changes as I do, evolving with me.
When the love we are, feel and are living expresses through the clothes we buy and wear, everyone is bathed in this light – such a beautiful form of expression when removed from the harsh industry you write about Adele.
Beautifully expressed and claimed. Thank you.
Ch1956 it is so true, without love, everything feels harsh and cold. But within us, we are so delicate, tender, oh so so warm, and how true we are with ourselves and with the world when we do not take the responsibility to express that? Even in the hugeness of the fashion industry, we still have the responsibility to express truth, for our bodies would not thank us for the dishonesty.
How often have we stood in front of the mirror and had a break down about not knowing what to wear? I know I’ve done this on repeat throughout my life. I’m far less dramatic these days, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I am at a complete loss and I often end up throwing something on I’m not happy with. Could it be, that I’m not actually taking a moment to check in and see how I feel that morning, instead I’m already thinking about what is ‘appropriate’ or not for work, will I draw unwanted attention if I wear this, or will people think that, if I wear this etc. It’s exhausting just writing about it.
It’s amazing how our body instinctively knows what to wear. We get a ‘yes’ from inside us when choose clothes that truly align with who we truly are and where we are at.
This is a great article Adele. I can easily recognise how much I use clothes as a means of hiding or an attempt to create something that is very much outside myself. I’m not known for being a fashiony person, but my choices of what to wear are often quite calculated and will depend on who I’m seeing or what I’m doing, aside from the practical considerations.
Super honest, Elodie, which is super supportive. Why do we morph ourselves for others? If we are prepared to explore this question we willingly open the door to our relationship with ourselves and letting changes unfold.
In addition to honouring and celebrating oneself by choosing the right clothes, I was very inspired by something Serge Benhayon once said about wearing what may be needed by those who will meet me that day, i.e. how will I be of service. As far as I understand it is about the reflection I give, do I inspire another to cherish and honour them self or do I add to the misery of low self-esteem, holding back or pretending etc.
Elodie you have made an awesome point here, what fashion has created as a persona is that it is exlusive only to some, those who understand the language, those would be included and can be termed “fashiony”, and that is exactly how fashion as a whole comes from a consciousness that is separative, when every single person in this whole world knows fashion as an authority for we all wear clothes.
Fashion has been about hiding the true self for ages. It’s a huge consciousness to break, Adele, you are of great service to us all.
As my particles change and expand, my sense of what I want to wear is changing too. I have been standing in front of my wardrobe with a clarity I have not had before, knowing that I need to let go of a bunch of things and getting very clear impulses of what clothing I now need to reflect this lighter, more precious being that I am allowing myself to be.
Gorgeous Emma and great point, our wardrobes need to evolve with us.
I can relate to this as well Emma, that the more I evolve certain clothes no longer appeal and it is time to get rid of them which creates more space not only in my wardrobe but within me. Actually, I think today might be a day to revisit the wardrobe!
Emma that is such a beautiful expression of the light you are I could feel my particle change reading it. I too have clarity with my wardrobe that I have never had before. As I clear within me what is not, my wardrobe moves with me in support.
I recall as a teenager, finding myself in the world, that finding a very specific look was all important to me. I would notice clothes that other women wore and then be obsessed with finding a particular item or outfit, no matter what it took. Looking back now, I can see that it was a desire to be different, to stand out but in an unconventional way. I was seeking to be unique and to be noticed. Over recent years since developing a deeply loving lifestyle, my need for this has dropped. I no longer seek to be defined by what I wear nor am I seeking individuation, but rather to confirm the deepening quality of loveliness that I feel in my body. And I give much more consideration to what is needed by the people I will be with, not just fulfilling my desires.
This is beautifully said and very inspiring– “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day”.
Awesome Adele, to hear from your experience in this industry, I can see this subject was especially huge for you and you have described quite a beautiful and whole transformation. It is an excellent example of how we give our focus and attention to that which is outside of us, all the while missing the enormity of the love we are within. What a profound blessing it has been for us all to be re-called back to our connection and inner knowing, by the work of Serge Benhayon and his family, for without him founding this wisdom at this time, many of us would still be very lost.
This is such a great realization – “Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.” Normally we think of distractions being things like food, entertainment etc but it makes sense that focusing on the perfecting of our outer appearance is also a way for us to avoid what is going on within. Thank you for this.
Yes Marika, making it about celebrating and expressing the true us puts the fun back into fashion. Let’s call it ‘funshion’.
Adele I really like how you bring attention to how we use fashion as a glamour to mask our emptiness and as a protection from the world. I can totally relate to this blog for I too used fashion to “keep the world out … be attractive or unattractive … appear more … superior or inferior … stand out just as much as to hide and … fit in or to be aloof” and also as a false statement of my worth. This actually took the fun out of dressing myself and it became a stress of sorts. Like you It now feels completely different, not at all stressful when I choose my clothing as a celebration of my inner beauty and not to define it.
Love it Adele. I have also found it to be true that dressing from a place of love from within is simply a confirmation of who we are through the expression of how we feel. In this way ‘true fashion’ is never defined by the limitation of ideas or emotional needs but rather a representation and extension of a quality that is lived, allowing anyone and everyone to be truly in fashion at any time.
I agree Carola, fashion is a ‘representation and extension of a quality that is lived’. Using clothes this way is extremely supportive whereas when we use clothes to show off or mask how we are feeling all we do is give out mixed messages to the world.
I had never thought of using fashion as a means of protection, but having read your blog Adele, I can see how I too have done this in the past.
Yes, whether it is under a mountain of clothes or behind an image. When I was much younger I use to wear very baggy clothes so you couldn’t really see my shape, and I see now this was a sort of protection, not wanting to attract attention.
I can relate Adele, having been through many different styles of clothes throughout my life using the way I dressed seeking comfort in the style I had aligned to. Dressing in a similar way to a certain group of people gave me a feeling of belonging. In hindsight I realise that I was simply aligning to a particular energy and it wasn’t my true expression at all. Since coming to the work of Universal Medicine the way I now dress is no longer about fitting in but connecting with me and then expressing from the inside to the out.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” This is a beautiful confirmation, Adele; reflected in the moments when someone shares a compliment and appreciation of ‘how we look’, and we know in ourselves it’s because we feel great on the inside and that’s what they are seeing.
Adele, you expose both the fashion industry here and also how we can use our clothing, whether it be fashionable clothing or not, to hide who we are or reflect who we are. When we go shopping there is always the influence of what is ‘in fashion’ coming at us and so much of this is laced with an image, one certainly needs a solid sense of self to withstand this influence at times and stay true to one’s own expression. Thanks for a great blog and sharing several ways we can (literally) wear ourselves down.
Deanne the blog also made me stop and consider what is the reason why all these clothes are being designed? With the global fashion empires, magazines and retail outlets being so central in many of our lives I can only but consider what a difference it would make if fashion was designed to support, nourish and celebrate those that wear the garments.
I love your last sentence Deanne,
“Thanks for a great blog and sharing several ways we can (literally) wear ourselves down.”
So true, I feel deeply that this blog is also tugging every one to ” wear themselves”.
A spectacular blog from start to finish Adele. “I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” This sentence in particular was a big eye opener for me. It allowed me to feel that I have used clothes to signal to the world that ‘I am ok’ even though many times I have been far from it. No wonder I have spent the majority of my cash on clothing! It is so lovely to feel the simple truth that we can have it all if we dress ourselves with love from the inside out.
Living life from the inside out is absolutely the way to go – the world gets all of us and how we feel, rather than the world dictating how we should be.
When reading your words it became so apparent how very much we perform, how much we calculate and how much we masquerade in life. “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” This can be applied to so many things in life.
I remember feeling awful on the inside full of self loathing and dressing up the outside to look beautiful but then needing to go out and get trashed because no matter how lovely it looked on the outside the inside didn’t match. I don’t experience this anymore. Sometimes insecurity can creep in if I need to go somewhere and there is unresolved things for me to deal with but now I understand that that feeling is a warning sign or a symptom not the cause.
Thanks Nicole,
Seeing insecurity as “a warning sign or symptom” is so powerful. It brings in the awareness that we are love, solid and full of grace. Anything else felt in the body is simply a nudge, that we have stepped away from ourselves. Love it.
To be able to step into an observer role and not be on a roller coaster of reactions makes a huge difference. One of the first steps in taking responsibility for how we are in our relationships.
When someone walks with themselves (moving in connection), be it a man or woman, it is the most lovely thing to see, feel, and watch.
I fully agree Matthew, it is awesome and very inspiring being with or seeing someone who walks with themselves unencumbered by the world, it is their presence that is felt 1st not what they are wearing.
Yes Matthew, it makes heads turns and has nothing to do with the clothes being worn.
Yes Matthew, this is very true, and what I also feel is how supportive what we wear can be when we choose clothes that are right for us. I know when I choose clothes I love to wear I feel more free to be myself.
Great point Matthew. The clothes in these instances are usually not even noticed.
This is true Matthew, it is beautiful to feel another moving in connection. I was observing people in a supermarket yesterday and so many of us are racing around and distracted.
I agree Matthew, when you see someone walking with themselves no matter what they are wearing or what size or gender they are they always look elegant and graceful.
…and like they are having a whole lot of fun, simply being themselves!
Absolutely Hannah, you nailed it!
That is so true Matthew, and when this is experienced how can we ever make clothes our focus point.
I agree Matthew, it is not something that is imposing on others such as ‘look at me” but a celebration of all that they are that makes it beautiful to observe and feel.
Yes Matthew, I agree. It is so exquisite to feel a person walking with themselves. The beauty beheld simply oozes from them. How can humanity miss seeing and feeling this now as more people are living and moving with themselves and are wearing clothing that fully supports their grace?
I am really enjoying the simplicity I feel when I buy clothes and wear them now, and also how I chose the colours I wear is a joy; they reflect how I feel that day or what the purpose is. It has stopped being a selfish endeavour and more about what we share as a humanity.
I can understand what you are saying about how we use what we wear for many different purposes, but truthfully the first priority is very rarely to express who we are and celebrate it. There is often an underlying agenda with it. My relationship with what I wear has changed a lot, I start the day with ‘how do I feel’ rather than ‘what do I want to look like’. A simple difference but life changing.
Wow I love that Samantha, starting the day with ” ‘how do I feel’ rather than ‘what do I want to look like’ ” – I’ve found when I go with my feeling, rather than a picture of how I want to look, my outfit comes together with ease.
Hear Hear to dropping the pictures and going with what feels like what I need to express at that time or what is needed for the day.
Yes Jennym, letting go of the pictures is definitely where it’s at…when ever I fall for trying to match or fit a picture I end up feeling unsettled and not quite myself.
Thank you Samantha,
I needed to read this today, as tomorrow I have a day where my mind was pushing a certain look on to me to look right. Your comment will now be with me as I dress tomorrow, and any should do’s will get a tender nudge out the door.
The ultimate fashion label is ‘True’.
Deborah how awesome your comment as that is always the name I had wanted to name a clothing line!
There is nothing that trumps ‘True’ that is for certain.
Yes yes and yes. Brilliant Deborah !
Dear Adele,
After reading this article and feeling deeply the style of clothing I now want to wear. I went shopping today and begun my new wardrobe. Thank you.
Beautiful Leigh I love how the blogs can have an instant impact on our lives if we let ourselves be truly inspired.
Yes Vanessa,
Life impacts us every day, to have such honest true writings to be part of that impact, that is inspiring too.
So cool Leigh.
Yes Adele, love is definitely the “new cool”… or the new black!! 😉
Yes Hannah, I love to wear love in the morning, during the day and well into the night.
And I am guessing that loving to wear love morning, noon and night makes me super cool!
Without a doubt kathleenbaldwin!!
Thank you Hanna, being able to be cool without spending a small fortune on clothing . . . I love it. . .I must admit I also love shopping.
I love shopping too Kathleen but have realised that you cannot buy coolness, or self-worth, or even love – but shopping can be an expression of the love and regard I have for myself.
Yes great points you make Hanna, you certainly cannot buy self worth. Shopping is fun for me because I love the interactions I have with other shoppers and the staff working in the shops.
I love that too Kathleen, the interactions with both the salespeople and other shoppers – shopping can give you that space to enjoy those interactions with others in an environment different from your day to day.
I love clothes, always have, but I have definitely like you Adele followed certain trends to stand out from the crowd mostly and also to not be seen for who I am. Both in dressing up and down. Prior to me attending Universal Medicine events I dressed down. I had moved from the city to the country, put on about 15kgs and I felt frumpy, so I chose to dress that same way, with a little bit of the alternate, hippy look and lots of beige. I am much more confident in my skin now and love feelingly loveliness and shapeliness in the clothes I wear. I don’t feel that way because of them, but they express how I am feeling about myself. It’s loads of fun too – no matter the colour (yes even beige).
It is a great moment each day to feel into how I am feeling and what clothes will reflect what is needed for that day.
Even the hippy who decries fashion and materialism is still in their own way a slave to image.
yes, the hair just takes a little less time to do. 🙂 speaking professionally.
So very true Adam. The image is just as deliberately constructed.
Not only deliberately constructed, but defines us in such a way that we belong to a distinct group or culture rather than the one universal culture of living from our inner-hearts.
Well said jennym. The moment we want to ‘construct’ a look we are then owned and therefore fed the ideals and beliefs of that group or what we could call a ‘consciousness’. The investment in the outer identity comes from a lack of connection with our true self. The look and appearance then becomes a false sense of self.
I never thought of it that way Adam, but it’s still a look someone is going for, laced with ideals and beliefs. Also along with the ‘don’t care bear’ image, speaks volumes of how a person is and what message they want to portray to the world.
Absolutely. The ‘anti-fashion’ victim is just as enslaved, maybe even more so because they would never think they were?
Great point Matilda and it does not matter which end of the constructed scale we put others or ourselves, if we are not expressing or in this case ‘dressing’ from the impulses of our ‘heart closet’, the enslavement is the same!
True Adam, anything that requires a force and push to keep the image up.
So true Adam, I used to think that I had rebelled against the fashion industry, choosing the ‘couldn’t care less about how I look’ hippie trends. However there was a point when I realised that this attitude deeply betrayed the real me and so began a gradual climb out of this consciousness. How I dress today feels much more in alignment with the beautiful woman I am and there in lies a miracle, as before meeting Universal Medicine I would never have considered celebrating myself in this way.
Absolutely Adam, a lot of work goes into any preconceived image one may have a desire to express even if it is dreads and rags. Dreads take an awful lots of time and effort to get just right and the clothing to go with them has to pertain to a certain look. It is as much trouble as any look one is after.
Absolutely Adam, I agree with this totally as I was one of these slaves. It took me a long time to get dressed and get the ‘right look’ in those days as opposed to how much ease I have now getting dressed with an inner love that impulses my choices.
This is so true Adam. There is just as much Glamour in being a hippy as there is hooking into any other ‘look’. Our true fashion style is expressed when we purchase and wear clothes that confirm the natural and unique qualities we each hold.
Great point Adam. We have ‘cliques’ at school (somewhat similar to most American high school movies!) and the hipsters/’hippies’ often dress in a certain way, listen to certain music and do things to not be mainstream and avoid what’s the norm… But as you said they too are slaves to an image, and therefore still playing ball with what’s normal.
When we forget who we truly are, we try to be everything else. We are a world with an identity crisis because we have forgotten that we are love first before we are anything else.
I love your blog Adele. When I am filled up with my own love it does not matter what I wear I look in the mirror and feel and look amazing. If I do not feel good about myself then nothing, even if its my most favourite dress seems to work on that day. This is why I agree with all you say as I too have experienced ‘true fashion’
I know what you mean Mary-Louise, and I find also that it doesn’t matter if I have a gorgeous outfit on it does not disguise how I have been living… same goes for makeup.
I agree Aimee, ultimately how you have been living is what people get to feel and see 1st, along with how you move in them. It is fascinating how you can wear the same clothes and feel completely different in them. I know for me I have found that some clothes along with the way I dress can either support me to be more loving with myself or can bring me down, and confirm I am not enough.
Absolutely Mary-Louise and Aimee – if I dress to make myself feel better then I’m always going to be at the mercy of needing someone to tell me how great I look. But when I feel lovely, I’m not looking for compliments – if they do come, it then just confirms what I’m already feeling.
I have found this too James that the clothes we buy can be the same as choosing what to feed our bodies… either they are supportive or not. I’ve let go of lots of clothes that made me feel uncomfortable when I wore them… if they were tight or something was scratchy or I used an outfit to hide by wearing it.
So true Sandra, and the needing for someone to confirm that we look good feels awful yet when we feel gorgeous from the inside out it doesn’t matter what we are wearing as everyone feels our quality first.
This is so true Mary-Louise, ‘If I do not feel good about myself then nothing, even if its my most favourite dress seems to work on that day.’ I had this experience where I was feeling really down about myself, in a lot of self doubt and I thought my new favourite skirt and top would lift me out of this but it did not – I remembering being surprised by this at the time, so I can feel that its how we feel about ourselves that is the important factor, and then it is this true beauty that then shines out, no matter what we are wearing. I notice this with young children, they look gorgeous in anything because they shine so brightly.
Another person I notice this with is Natalie Benhayon. She may have on a $10.00 dress she got off the internet but because she holds herself in so much regard, appreciation and knowing of herself as the divine woman she is she looks like a million dollars. It does not matter what she wears she always looks absolutely beautiful. I am so inspired by her consistency to love no matter what is going on in her life.
I have noticed a similar experience when I’m shopping for clothes. If I’m not feeling good then its difficult to find anything that suits me, shops seem bereft of good items… its like a desert and nothing there can satisfy my requirement. Yet when I’m ‘full of it’ the shops seem to magically change and suddenly there is oodles of choice, to reflect the many facets of how I can truly express myself.
Me too Simon and now I have learnt to leave the shops when I am in that mood otherwise I can waste a whole day wandering around never finding anything. Or even better often I am now able to change the way I am seeing myself by moving differently. Then I find heaps of stuff because every thing looks beautiful on me as I feel so beautiful. Then I have learnt not to buy too much knowing that it is my inner beauty I am really connecting with and not the clothes making me look beautiful.
haha, love this comment Mary-Louise… turning the whole problem on its head through the way you move.
Movement is the key to changing how we feel about our selves.
Very true Mary-Louise and Adele. Today I chose to wear a beautiful slinky and elegant black and white striped dress simply because this is the quality I feel today and the dress compliments me.
In the past it was not uncommon for me to change my clothes a multitude of times feeling that all of them looked dreadful. These were often favourites that I have loved wearing before. This rarely happens now because I live in a way that is far more nurturing and loving of myself but when it does it is a welcome reminder that I need to look at the way I have been living.
Using things (clothes, behaviours) from the outside to dress up what is going on on the inside. No matter what we bring in from the outside it will never fill what can only be felt from within. Meeting this fact right now I can feel how firm a hold that irresponsibility in wanting the outside to make everything better – anything other than my own choices which I have in every moment available to me – is crippling. Thank you Adele for sharing what can occur when responsibility is taken.
This is what we have been taught Leigh, that changing the outside we can mask or ignore what is from within but having gone through life this way it just does not work for me anymore. If our innermost is not taken care of first, no changes on the outside would be truly true. But oh the joy when we first approach our within, and allow that to naturally emanate, then the exterior becomes the last thing we worry about, but we cannot but look glorious!
It’s fascinating to feel the tide turn; when the outer is no longer the focus, but suddenly the inner beauty becomes greater than the outer – until such time that they both come into balance and our beauty radiates from every single cell, movement and expression – inner and outer.
I went clothes shopping yesterday. I was intrigued to observe how I have changed. I am becoming a discerning shopper and really know what suits me. I no longer settle, so if I try something on and its not quite right I wont buy it. Its also interesting that what looks good on the models or other people doesn’t necessarily look good on me. Now that I can be bothered to try things on, I don’t end up with clothes in my wardrobe that I never wear. How we shop and what we buy truly does reveal a lot about ourselves.
Well said Debra. I too have become more discerning. I used to give up on myself because I was overweight and nothing seemed to look right. So I would just by generic sensible clothes that I hoped would cover bits I found unacceptable, such as my big belly.
Now I only choose fabrics that feel lovely on my skin and fall gracefully, and if something does not suit my body see it as just that, and do not go into blaming myself for not being the right shape. Knowing I deserve to wear lovely comfortable clothes that express how I feel inside has made shopping a pleasure rather than a chore.
Inspiring to read this line Anne “Now I only choose fabrics that feel lovely on my skin and fall gracefully..” we wear our cloth all day on our body! Yesterday evening I realized that my socks are far too tight, to become more aware of how our cloth feel on our body is a lovely was to self care and bring attention to details. And everything is important here. If we make compromises with our clothes we will be making compromises in other areas.
“How we shop and what we buy truly does reveal a lot about ourselves.” This is so true Debra…it’s well worth observing!
The other day I went to an fashion outlet and said to myself I will only buy cloth which I really like no compromises, this was a great commitment to myself.
It’s so interesting how as we change on the inside and live more love, what we choose to buy and wear changes. Something that once looked great, and may have felt great to wear, no longer does, and it’s time to move it on out of our wardrobe and make room for something that now reflects our expression.
So true Debra, how we shop says a lot! I liked how you said you don’t settle, if somethings not quite right, you don’t buy it.
Love your words Adele -‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’
I have noticed that I love expressing with clothes so much more now and are willing to wear clothes that are more stand out which in the past would have been a no no as I didn’t want to look like I cared too much about how I looked. Building more loving care for myself has definitely directly resulted in me expressing more of me which is a real discovery and a lot of fun.
“I didn’t want to look like I cared too much about how I looked. ” so many get caught in this thinking that it’s vain, or that we are not worthy of appreciating how we look. True reflection comes when the awesomeness we are on the inside, reflects on the outside too. Living it completely.
That’s a really interesting point Vanessa – we can still ‘protect’ ourselves through clothing choices even if we try and put across the opposite to what Adele has written here – by saying ‘I don’t want to look like I care too much’ just in case we get a disapproving look.
Vanessa, there are many trends and collections in fashion which expresses the negation of self-caring and self-nurturing, such as from the extreme of grunge to hobo to clothes that purposely have creases and wrinkles in them that are not supposed to be taken out and that is branded to be (falsely) stylish and cool. It is very exposing, and extremely harming to be sharing such messages as the audience that fashion reaches is huge.
Yes love is certainly the most beautiful outfit we could ever wear and it never goes out of fashion.
Love comes in all sizes, fits everyone, is available for all equally, feels and looks awesome and every single one of us already has it – why would we wear anything else?
So very true Nicola and it costs nothing, other than a committment to live it.
Just love both your comments Nicola; they brought the biggest smile from the inside out. Love is certainly the truest and most “beautiful outfit” that we can choose to wear and it’s always hanging in our closet, and as you ask so wisely: “why would we wear anything else?”
🙂 love that one Nicola!
That makes so much sense Nicola if love comes in all sizes so does beauty.
…And is forever increasing and expanding limitlessly.
I love these words too Jenny. They really encapsulate the whole essence of her blog.
When a woman (or man) wears love, they are truly beautiful. I see it in their eyes and you can feel it in their presence.
Beautiful daily choices of love Jenny combined with the movement of deep care and nurturing.
In the past I would dress down most of the time trying to hide myself in baggy clothes. As I have become more connected to myself as a beautiful woman I have changed how I dress but still experience some unsureness and lack of confidence about how to dress to fully express myself. I hold back from really exploring this because of the excuse that clothes are so expensive but in this I can feel there is also a belief that if the clothes are inexpensive, then this is somehow a reflection of my own self-worth. I have invested my feeling of worth in how much my clothes cost. Now that’s pretty crazy! Thank you for exposing another set of previously hidden beliefs.
Knowing who we are, translates into the clothes we choose for ourselves. I understand what you say about the expense of clothes, sometimes it’s worth investing in something of quality, not label ( because we are of worth), other times it’s about becoming creative and exploring other retail clothes outlets. It’s possible to find fabulous clothes without spending excessively. I’ve become an expert and discerning shopper, my preference being good quality charity shops, smaller more intimate and quality fabrics. Works everytime.
And it’s a lot of fun I’ve discovered
yes Johanna – a lot of fun! I love clothes shopping especially with my 6 year old daughter. She has no hesitation with what she likes and doesn’t like and has so much fun choosing what to wear. Everyday without fail getting dressed for her is a celebration of herself and an honouring of what she is feeling that day. There is an exuberance there. For me the joy is more subtle, but there nonetheless and I do love picking out my outfits for the day, even if it happens to be jeans and a top – how I feel in them when I have taken care is the same as if I have “dressed up”, but cosier!
Great that you raise this point Lucy, “if the clothes are inexpensive, then this is somehow a reflection of my own self-worth”. It is a great example of how much we associate who we are with money, and then as you say relate this to our own value. Adele has given us much to ponder on.
I can relate to what you share Lucy about dressing down to hide. I used to do this everyday, now like you I have connected more to myself as a beautiful woman and I love wearing gorgeous dresses. I have felt my worth and have invested many new items!
It is a beautiful experience now to try on and wear clothes that reflect my inner beauty as a woman and certainly an ongoing process to accept compliments or other’s appreciation in when it is noticed that I am daring to let it out.
Your comment brings to mind one time Natalie Benhayon presented at a women’s group in a really sexy dress. I can’t remember where she bought it but she told us all she paid $10 for it. I too have at times pinned my expression through clothes to how expensive they are and have found it convenient for my self worth due to not having many expensive clothes – but you have already exposed that for what it is 🙂
I remember that occasion too with the $10 dress. That was a real ‘aha’ moment for me because Natalie Benhayon is a super-sexy, beautiful woman and knows it from the inside out. She doesn’t need an expensive dress to try to prove it to herself or others. When beauty emanates from the inside out every dress looks like a million dollars.
Lucy, when we feel and know we are priceless, no matter what we put on will look like a billion bucks 🙂 Fashion is possible without our ingrained ideals and beliefs, because love is our true cool.
I love the way you express this Adele… bringing fashion back to who we are and how we express, not how much we spend.. priceless!
Adele, I agree with you a billion percent!! – “…when we feel and know we are priceless, no matter what we put on will look like a billion bucks”.
I love the way you see life Adele. ‘Love is our true cool’ would be a great slogan on a t-shirt!
Yes I agree Adele, love is our true cool and what I love about it is the simplicity and joy we can all have when we choose to live and dress this way.
A lot of what you have written rings true for me also Lucy, dressing down and not being worthy of spending the money on myself – this however has changed somewhat these days, but I would still like to be a bit more adventurous with my clothing choices. There has been many occasions when I find clothes I love but then talk myself out of buying them.
Great point Lucy, the cost of our clothes does not need to reflect our worth. The quality and how we decide to where the clothes is what counts.
I love your comment Lucy – I have experienced the same, and I often find that how I dress is often related to how I feel about my body shape that day and to my self-worth
The way we look is only be a reflection of what is already felt within us – whether it be insecurity, lack of worth or self-doubt; or a confidence and natural ease with yourself and in your body.
‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ What a corker of an opening line! Just reading these few words has opened my eyes to a whole other raft of ideals and beliefs I haven’t seen before. Thank you Adele.
I agree Lucy, there is so much here in this article that we as a society do not speak of, and yet they are very important as the fashion industry controls the way people think about themselves and their looks, and it is an enormous pressure that many are unaware of. As Adele has expressed cloths can be used to confirm you and your own beauty and this comes from inside out not outside in, something I see little girls naturally reflect.
Yes Amina. Working with children and watching them come to school dressed in their own expression is such a great sight to see. They walk with confidence and joyful share how great they feel in the clothes they have chosen for they day- that can range from a simple piece or a myriad of bright colours.
Amina reading your comment ‘the fashion industry controls the way people think about themselves and their looks’ is only possible when people have already disconnected from themselves first. If a person disconnects from themselves then they can be tossed around on the high seas of illusion until ‘Kingdom come’ but if we remain conected to who we are in truth then there is no straying at all.
Amina the fashion industry indeed controls, and it does so because when the foundation of this industry is not built from love, we need followers. But when it is love that is shared, it is openly offered without the need for any form of return, and people can simply be themselves.
I can relate to this sentence Lucy. I used to use clothes to be something others focused on to distract and as a way of protection. Many years ago I did not feel solid in myself so choosing an outfit was a big deal and could end in tears. It was a pressure I use to put on myself to find the outfit that would make me feel comfortable and be able to face the occasion but the simple truth is it was a bandaid to the unsettledness I felt with in.
I love this line too Lucy. When we do not choose to express who we are in truth and in full, we are instantly expressing what we are not.
This is a really cool opener! I have often felt so much emptiness in the pages of fashion magazines and in the models that promote beauty. No amount of adornment of the body can conceal the emptiness within, unless of course that adornment is done in the full self appreciation and beauty of the person under the clothes. In knowing women who can do this, boy oh boy what an eye opener… not so much as in “look at me, look at me”, but in terms of a deeply held stillness, knowing and acceptance of their inner beauty .. now that is what I call a head turner!!
What an awesome testament to the beauty we have within ourselves, but is up to us whether we choose to put it on and show the world.
What you describe here, Adele, can be found in some form in every industry, whether it is the need to be seen as ‘doing good’ in the charity sector, or making enough money in the banking sector, or serving the company as a ‘good worker’ in countless other areas of employment. This then extends to our social and family lives, what kind of music we might identify with, the tv shows we watch, the sports team we support, etc. etc. etc.
We put on a suit which we think makes us acceptable to others and ourselves in a situation, and then will change it based not on what we feel or the truth of our expression, but in response to something else external to ourselves. Within us the whole time is a boundless beauty in which lives a shining superstar, the greatest celebrity in our own eyes, one with the poise and grace we look at in others and wish to be. It is in there all the time, in our “heart closet”, as you beautifully put it, Adele.
Naren what you express here is precisely what I was feeling when I was reading Adele’s blog. Adele’s fashion decoy is no different from those we all use to avoid entering into the ‘heart closet’, from which we can choose to express our ‘boundless boundless beauty!
Yes, many distractions and decoys from the one and same exquisite beauty we all know very well but dare reveal.
This is so true Naren about our beauty, ‘but is up to us whether we choose to put it on and show the world.’ We are then ultimately responsible for if people see us for who we truly are or not. It’s interesting how much of the world don’t feel seen or met for who they are and I feel a big part of this is 1) people don’t allow themselves to shine and be seen and 2) others can be in a drive or raciness and simply are to pent up to truly stop, listen and see another – I love how you share about being a celebrity in our own eyes- this is gorgeous.
There is for many of us an image that we have of ourselves. It is one filled with “I wish…” and “if only…” and “why can’t I…” and “if they only knew…”. We can mistakenly call these images delusions of grandeur, but we know that we are all able to be grand and stupendous.
Yes l love that term Naren also, “heart closet”.
lt is wonderful to know that we all have one and it’s about time we opened it, if we haven’t as yet. The fact is, we all have to choose something to wear each day. lt is the process of elimination and why, which l find most revealing since reading this blog. Why do l choose what l choose in each situation? What am l saying to the world by wearing what l am wearing for that day?
Those are the questions that allow us to explore the fact that there is nothing in this world that is not intimately connected to another in a way that we tend to live most of our lives oblivious to, yet completely intertwined with.
So well said Naren. What you have described is so true- we all wear different types of suits in every different industry. Missing out on the superstar naturally there within.
I just love that Naren ‘Within us the whole time is a boundless beauty in which lives a shining superstar, the greatest celebrity in our own eyes, one with the poise and grace we look at in others and wish to be’.
And what a huge amount of energy we expend trying to avoid the simple fact that our inner beauty is a source of strength and truth that will support us through almost anything that the world may throw at us.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” Love this line Adele – what a great and clear image to take to the world; the closet that will alter the face of beauty as we know it today.
Thank you for bringing our attention to this lucindag. I had not considered having a heart closet before and selecting love to be with me, worn with care and nurturing every day. Lovely analogy, I agree, taken up, this will alter the face of beauty as we know it today.
Great presentation on what true fashion is about Adele
Awesome Adele, thank you for sharing! I can totally relate to what you’ve shared; I don’t tend to stick to the same sort of high street styles as some of my friends do, or alternatively the ‘hippy’/’boho’ clothes they wear and often feel quite uncomfortable with what I wear (which tends to be quite simple) when I see them outside of school. It’s interesting to consider how much we worry about the clothes we’re wearing and if we’ll fit in or not, and forget about actually living and having a good time with the people we’re with.
Awesome Adele, I can really relate to using clothes to navigate me through my life, I trusted that my appearance would craft out the alternative/arty lifestyle I wanted to fit into. I never felt fulfilled, i was just a slave to my identity.
I remember attending one of Serge Benhayon’s workshops and he told us that “when you look in the mirror you see what you feel” i wept deeply for i knew this was profoundly true, my clothes however beautiful, colourful, textured and unique would never surpass what i felt inside and so too began my journey navigated by self love, self appreciation, self worth.
Loved your comment Lucinda. Seeing in the mirror a reflection of how you feel inside is a confronting but amazing truth that has supported me to not use the outside to mask what is essentially unmaskable, but with self love, absolutely transformable.
This was a great read Adele. I’m looking forward to wearing my own love and sharing that with the world with the clothes that I choose. I can see how I have used clothing to try to look as ‘attractive’ as possible and to express my personality but only ended up sending the message of ‘get away from me.’ This article turns all of the fashion beliefs on their heads and opens fashion up to being a playful, truthful and loving expression.
Thank you Adele for sharing how connecting to your own preciousness has allowed what you wear to become a beautiful confirmation of who you are. The best definition I have ever heard of what true fashion is – timeless and available to all who choose to take loving care of themselves.
Awesome blog Adele. I can certainly relate to using clothes and different styles to hide behind what i was lacking to fill from within.
This is a power line – “I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” Wow! An expose of how we can use the outer as a way to avoid honouring the inner.
This is so beautiful Adele and brings such understanding to not only ourselves but exposes the whole fashion industry and our emptiness that it is based on. However bringing love and caring for oneself with a true nurturing and sensitivity changes everything and really does allow us to dress from this love and feel it in our bodies. Our clothes and our choices simply become an extension of this love as one with us and shine and glow in our own light.
“I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” My choice of ‘clothes’ to hide from responsibility was kinesiology. I wore this ‘cloth’ so well I believed I was being responsible. It was a huge wake-up call when I was I presented with a much deeper level of responsibility that reflected to me how in fact I was being totally irresponsible. In doing so I discovered and opened my ‘heart closet’. Thank you Serge Benhayon for the reflection.
I find it so much fun dressing in a way that reflects the beauty that is there within.
“The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” Great post Adele – I love how you share how true fashion is; “fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.”
Beautiful Adele – you have captured so much of our feelings around fashion and how we try to hide ourselves by creating a diversion when being ourselves is enough.
On the catwalk of life we present our look, we present how we see the world and from which please we view. What we ‘wear’ shows who we are and what we stand and go for. To ‘wear’ love gives a reflection for all where we are coming from and going to: Love.
It is like we are on the catwalk – selling an outer image hoping that we can hide the truth from everybody but ignoring the irresponsibility of the reflections we project.
And what if we would claim this catwalk and present us in truth? What if we would reflect honesty – as a starter? If we stop hiding and accept what we’ve done and how we feel, that would be a great start for a change I guess. So I start with ‘wearing’ honesty and so make (prepare) my way to truth and love…
I love your realisation that you were using fashion to be everything but your true self Adele. It had an identity of its own. And isn’t this how we usually use fashion – to create an image for ourselves. It is wonderful that you have turned this around and that now your clothes are a loving expression of the real you.
I can now see that fashion or dressing oneself can become an addiction like any other and its all just a trick to keep us in so called comfort and away from our true selves.
It’s amazing the changes that occur when we add a little self- love and care into the equation.
this is a great article Adele, having worked in the fashion industry when i was young i rebelled against fashion as it all felt very shallow to me at the time and so i dressed in very cheap, plain, masculine clothes and definitely avoid any ‘fashion brands’, this rebellion lasted a long time and i always felt sad that i was not expressing my femininity. since attending Universal Medicine courses and becoming more confident in myself what i wear has changed, i now love to wear beautiful, feminine clothes.
Having gone through life trying my hardest to ignore fashion and trends it never occurred to me that so much can be going on with people who are into fashion, but having read this article it does make sense. I always thought that people who looked fashionable and knew what to wear had it all together – it just goes to show how deceptive looks can be.
A great blog Adele that exposes why the fashion industry is so huge, we are all seeking to distract ourselves from who we are either by hiding or becoming something we are not. I remember in the 1980’s when all the women were starting to power dress and their clothes bolstered them up to be tough and hard…..padded shoulders and sharp suits were a statement to say women can compete with men at their own game. Not a very loving or caring way to dress at all
I find that the clothes I wear show the way I feel about my body, and I see this in other women too. Wether knowingly or unknowingly, we seem to want to project an image all the time, but this image is always of our relationship with our bodies.
So true Shami. How we are with ourselves is reflected in our bodies which includes how we care and dress our bodies. Our movements come from the quality that we have surrendered to, reflected through the choices that we make. When the quality is that of Love we then make loving choices that support and express the connection to the Love that we feel from within.
Beautiful blog Adele, and such a refreshing way to understand how clothes can simply be a true expression of who we are. I love what you have written here, “I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” My heart closet is gaining much more attention these days, and the more attention and love that I give it, the more others are able to see and feel the results and the willingness to share in this way feels gorgeous.
The other end of the bell curve is jeans and a tee shirt. It has always allowed me to hide in the crowd. Over the years I have heard from some women that were very attractive and always well dressed and said I would keep people away them. Guys would assume they were not up to that standard and why risk rejection… everyone loses. Clothes do not make the man or woman and will never enhance what we truly are. I as you Adele, daily feel into what my body requires for the day.
Love it! Clothes are indeed nothing but an outer shell when we wear them out of feeling not enough.
Yes I agree Lieke. It is the fullness with which we live that imbues all that we do.
Lieke, I feel your comment ‘Clothes are indeed nothing but an outer shell when we wear them out of feeling not enough’ can be expanded to include any-thing that we adorn the body with, eg, tattoos, watches, rings, make up, hairstyles, handbags, dogs in handbags, breast implants, collagen lips, big biceps etc.
A great fashion statement Adele. We can wear the most expensive and ‘fashionable’ clothes but if they are just an outer covering to attract attention they are a waste of money. If we wear our clothes as a complement to the beauty and self-love we feel within ourselves then the way we move allows who we are to shine through.
Love this comment Mary… it is so beautiful to feel the difference of those wearing clothes and moving in a way that reflects the self love and connection they feel, rather than those hiding behind clothes that create an illusion and reflect a lie…. denying inspiration.
Fashion as we know it is void of truth and love…and you are leading the way Adele, in bringing truth to an otherwise empty and vast industry.
Love it Adele, fantastic blog ~ ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share’ A wardrobe of love, you just can’t go wrong with that!
By choosing love this becomes a very effective and cost efficient way to always be fashionable!
I love your comment Susan and it’s true, even though I love clothes.
Oh yes, love is the forever fashion of who we are in all the expressions we may choose.
So true Susan and a wonderful way to get rid of the clutter we use to fill our minds and our closets!
Thank you Adèle for writing a very clear blog about the constant drive behind fashion and what it is truly about, reflecting our inner beauty and never about our outer appearance. ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.’
Great blog Adele that delivers so much truth around the misuse of fashion. I lived a fashion related lifestyle that also included a body cult and although it was never openly spoken about there was this underlying expectation to fulfill certain standards through which you were better off. The outer appearance was valued independently from true wellbeing and a beauty that was expressed from competition and not love. Today I still love fashion, but it is something that confirms me in who I am and is not put on to give me an identity.
The re-defining of fashion, or maybe the returning of fashion to its original meaning: an expression of ourselves and Love in what we choose to wear. The outer presentation matching the divinity we are within. Adele, you are leading the way for the future of the fashion industry…thank you.
How much importance we put on visual image is quite astounding. Is that a giveaway that we are not using our clairsentience for discernment?
I dare say it is Fumiyo. We would be much better off to feel what we need to wear for the day, just as to feel what the truth is in every other situation.
“With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life” – this is truly gorgeous, Adele. The insecurity and the emptiness of those who use fashion as a statement has been widely documented and known via TV, films, magazines etc. What you share here, Adele, could just be what the whole industry has been waiting for.
“Love is the true cool”… Love is our normal and our innate expression and when everything we do, wear, say, eat, etc. comes from love first then we are in our true human expression. What you share here Adele is such a great example of how we invest so much in the outer to fill our self created emptiness, but are never feeling satisfied when not re-connecting to who we are – love.
Your words Adele: “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self” paint a picture of whole life in that the word ‘fashion’ could be removed and inserted by absolutely anything – be that work, a partner, relationship, food, pastime or hobby — your post describes the joy that can be when one is in love with who they truly are from uncovering what they are truly not, yet have allowed.
It is so true Adele that we are not the clothing we wear but instead we can wear the clothing that represents and support us in full, and that is what true fashion actually should be.
I agree Nico,
Shopping today was an amazing experience. I had little time, but I found myself in the exact place I needed to be to buy the clothes I knew to buy, after finding them, momentarily I felt this urge to keep looking, there could be something else. How sneaky, for I knew on walking into the store exactly where to go to and there it was. A very glorious experience. Then to cap it all off, I had time up my sleeve. I loved shopping today.
I know that experience too Leigh, just knowing what I want, pop into a store and find what I was looking for. How amazing is that and as you say it saves a lot of time and makes shopping a celebration of life and oneself.
Well said Nico. With this we would see a fashion industry focus on empowering people to choose clothing to confirm who we already magnificently are. Rather than what we have today, that is an industry that suggests that we are not enough and can only be enough if we dress ‘this’ way, ‘their’ way, a way that is always changing and aimed to keep us hooked into following trends to stay in fashion, serving only to keep us out of connection to all that we already are.
Indeed Carola, and the fashion industry seems to be driven by our tendency to need to be different from one another. When we compare ourselves to one another we try to fit ourselves in, in some hierarchical structure in which we keep ourselves trapped in a way of living that will never reflect who we truly are, but instead reflect a lesser version of us instead, independently of the beautifully designed clothes we wear. What if we choose to live without comparison but live from our inner essence and dress ourselves accordingly to give expression to our unique self instead?
Great question Nico. If we did ‘live without comparison but live from our inner essence’ instead, we would realise that we are all love, and in love we are all equal. And our unique expression of being through our bodies, including how we dress, is then simply an extension of the joy of love that we know we all are within.
This is beauty full Adele. I love finding out what layers I’ve made by wearing clothes from ideas about how I should look or what I want to be seen as, or how I want to fit in rather than wearing what is fashionable from my ‘heart closet’. As you have said, “This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” So no matter what I wear, if I feel like me in it then it’s amazing!
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ This is really beautiful. Not looking to anything outside of myself to feel the love inside and express through what I wear and how I wear it.
‘The heart closet’ what a beautiful place Adele, and one we cannot purchase from any department store. We strive so hard to stand out from the crowd and yet all we do is end up looking the same. When people dress themselves, with love and care this is really what makes clothes sparkle spectacularly.
Absolutely – we stop at the external and believe it is how another looks or the clothes they wear when it is the quality of a persons lived love that is radiant and touches us deeply.
Beautifully said Joseph, I agree. It is not the clothes that make us sparkle it is our connection to our essence that always does.
Gorgeous Adele and coming from another person who has used clothes to either hide behind or stay aloof, there certainly is no better choice of clothing to wear than the love in our hearts. How amazing to reach that stage after years of being all consumed by clothes of feeling ” truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” Love is most definitely the “new cool” and there is one man, Serge Benhayon who is undeniably and perpetually leading the fashion world with a trend that will never tire because it is continually evolving.
I can relate Adele, I’ve alwas loved clothes and would love dressing myself in this or that — and I still do now. The difference is that I used to use clothes, how I looked as a form of keeping myself at bay from everybody else just as you say whereas now I love wearing something that confirms back to me how I’m feeling– delicate, joyful, fragile, celebratory of me being me ✨
It is so interesting to read how fashion can be used as a form of protection to keep people out but what we crave for the most is intimacy and true connection yet our different variations of protection methods does exactly the opposite. It drives people away, keeps us separate and the emptiness we long to fill returns. Letting go of these protective shields are key to deeply connecting with ourselves and others. So simple and accessible, we’ve looked high and low for the answers when it was always within us and only a choice away to choose to dismantle our protective mask to let our beauty shine and feel our fullness from within.
Beautiful Adele. I can relate to “…these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling…” Now I can say it is actually great to feel how this turns out to be our experience in life when we give our power to something outside of us, therefore all of our choices are made from an emptiness inside and a focus on the outside. If we dare to stop and feel what is really going on, it is definitely quite unsettling! In your case this happened in your relationship with clothes and fashion, but it can just happen with almost everything in life that we give our power away to, and as we do…the need to receive confimation from the outside becomes more insidiuos and more insidiuos…nothing will ever feel enough. Yes, there is certainly a lot of patience and understanding required from us in order to not fall into judgement, or the seach for more comfort that can cushion the unsettledness, but to ignite a super amazing and empowering process of resurecting who we truly are inside…beings of deep Love and Wisdom all connected with each other. As always thank you for sharing more of your journey back to Love, it is exquisite to feel the level of depth.
Some people use shopping as others use food, or alcohol – to comfort and numb themselves from negative feelings. But of course all the affects are fleeting until the underlying issues are resolved.
Spectacular blog Adele, so honest, deeply inspiring and thought provoking. I love this line ‘it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ What a gorgeous closet you have that is shared with everyone.
It is true that we can try and hide what we are missing inside us by attempting to perfect our style on the outside of us. But we know it doesn’t work and has never worked. I love your choices from the heart closet Adele, selecting love, deep care and nurturing every day.
Fantastic blog Adele! How divine that you now look in your love closet every day and are wearing your own love. It is so uplifting to see a woman lovingly and gorgeously dressed. I love it!
You have captured something here that makes sense of my own experiences. There are times when I put on clothes, and no matter how lovely they are, they feel and look dreary or frumpy on my body. In fact, I might have felt and looked stunning wearing the same outfit last week…but today it just doesn’t sit right, I look overweight, can’t find the right shoes……!!
There are other times when I put quirky things together that no one could possibly approve of, and they look as though they were always made for each other and me!
I used to think this was random, or perhaps I was just in a bad mood. Not so. It was always about how I was feeling about me, the way I was living.
The clothes were never important for their own sake or for the impression they gave off, but the fact that they are another barometer to refer to in understanding my relationship with myself and the way I am living my life.
Rachel Mascord this is beautiful and hilarious!
“Look in the mirror and see how you feel” absolutely Rachel we cannot hide from our choices, indeed mirror or no mirror our reflection is everywhere.
This is so true Rachel ‘the fact that they are another barometer to refer to in understanding my relationship with myself and the way I am living my life.’ The reflection our clothes provide us with is either a confirmation of our loveliness or revealing of how far we have strayed from our true selves.
It is very beautiful that a shift of perspective reveals everything to us. We can wrestle with the clothes, push them about, arrange them this and that way, put on a broach..a scarf…a different pair of shoes…
Or we can stop and ask what is going on here? Why am I feeling this way today? What’s got into me? that doesn’t mean we will get the outfit sorted, but it is a beautiful honesty that we can receive from our mirror, and deeper look from the looking glass to the inner world of us.
Lovely Rachel – I often feel this way too. I also find that I energetically ‘outgrow’ clothing from time to time. It has taken a while to accept this but your sharing and Adele’s blog show that there is far more to the clothes we choose than meets the eye.
That is an interesting point Leonne, the outgrowing of clothes and not from weight gain.
Clothes hold the quality we were in when we bought them. I have become much better at feeling that and removing from my wardrobe clothes that I bought when I was feeling flat, down on myself, or hoping to lose weight.
A waste! You might say..and yes it is, but slowly I am learning to be more discerning about the state I am in when I go shopping. A little bit too slowly for my credit cards liking.
I hadn’t thought of it like that before Rachel. Even just reading your words I feel confronted by the responsibility but it makes so much sense. My clothes bring back memories of times when I have worn them in the past. It is quite easy to feel which clothes support me and which do not when I let go of my attachment to them.
I am far from having got a handle on this one. Still love to shop for a bit of relief and a reward for being a “good” girl.
Absolutely agree Leonne and have found myself even puzzled by clothes bought thinking I loved them at the time and then never wearing them because something didn’t feel right – possibly the fact that they were bought not from an expression of who I am but in wanting to hide that. Fascinating to observe.
That’s perfect for me at this point Rachel, in terms of understanding the relationship that we have with ourself. This has been recently exposed to me at work, no longer having to wear a uniform. I have realised how protected I have felt in one, that I could hide myself away, even though wearing a uniform does not mean this at all. But not having to wear one has opened this up for me to consider where I hide me, hold myself back and allow myself to be seen. It’s great to have all this exposed. Funny enough I have always wanted to not wear a uniform. Now I can see there is even something revealed here too.
There is something very comforting about a uniform. We don’t have to think at all in the morning about what to wear!
No uniform and oh boy, we are out there on display. But in writing this I realise that we are always on display, and that even the way we put on a uniform is full of us and the love we have for ourselves.
Absolutely Rachel. To be very honest, I could rarely recall what I wore or how I put things together, and no look can really be re-created so to speak, because it is about how I am with myself that brought forth the awesome feeling in the clothing when they are put on and matched or mismatched in a certain way. When others compliment in terms of clothing, the truth is it is rarely because of the clothes.
Beautiful Adele. I have come to understand that clothes are an outer reflection or expression of how I feel. I can’t truly use clothes to cover up or show something that I am not as this feels false, like putting on a show, and never quite seems to fit. When I dress to express how I feel, I then feel lovely in my clothes with no comparison with what another is wearing.
Clothing for me has definitely been tied at times to pleasing others or gaining acceptance. The changing world of fashion seems to be all about doing something the “right way” to fit in. It’s a beautiful feeling to dress according to how I feel and as a way of expressing the true me, or by what feels right/true to wear, which is not dictated by fashion or my self but by my impulse.
How many people will read this and be inspired? .. I hope hundreds, thousands, maybe one day millions, so they experience and explore for themselves the truth of their fashion. And so to come back to their true expression and boy oh boy, am I interested in seeing the world’s fashion then… I trust it would be an amazing celebration of all expressions in the world.
It’s no wonder we have coined a phrase ” fashion victim” it tells us much about the power the industry has over many. It’s is very alluring to try and keep up, but eventually you realise it’s taking you in so many directions that actually manipulate your choices. Once we step back and realise it’s all an illusion and we are not dependant on appearance for our recognition we are free to truly express the essence of who we are in what ever manner we feel, we break the binds as Adele has. I love the ” heart closet” it is not for show but to be connected with and to reflect the true essence of the love within. ” Love is the new cool”
Absolutely stunning. What an article, what a truth! I am blessed reading this as it is healing my way I have lived the same like you. Feeling that I had done this for the same reason in my life; hiding my emptiness with fashion, and nominating this to be chosen, yet a lie I have been living, makes me able to come out of this lie by choice and choose love instead. So inspiring, and so true, our love should be our closet and we should always stay in connection with our heart when choosing what to wear, only then we can treasure ourselves from within and express ourselves in fashion! As otherwise, where or which closet would we choose from?
Lovely article Adele. I so relate to it. I am enjoying a different relationship with clothes, less hiding in it and more celebrating me.
Love it Adele, clothes look the best when the person inside them is beaming. It is almost like the fashion is then not so important but how that person chooses to express their amazingness.
Bang on harryjwhite! When you can feel someone’s true confidence, it’s really all you see. They look fabulous despite whether or not you like their choice of dress, because it really does just fade into the background of the glow of the person.
Absolutely agree there Elodie. A person connected with their natural confidence is shining beyond their skin, and lights up all around them.
Recently I have began to love clothes shopping for myself and am coming to appreciate my actual taste in clothes, its quite refreshing to choose clothes I ACTUALLY want to wear. One thing I have noticed is that there is difference between ‘me fitting the clothes’ and ‘the clothes fitting me’. The latter is only how I shop now because I have found that to look good in some items of clothing I had to change my body stance, it became quite uncomfortable.
‘We talk about clothes, we dream about clothes, we fall in love with clothes, we waste clothes, we hoard clothes, we spend all our money on clothes and we seek perfection in clothes. All of this is accepted as normal’, Adele this is such a telling line as it can be applied to a limitless number of things, such as work, hobbies, addictions, politics, environmental issues, sport, relationships, war, Barbies, Dr Who, the list is quite literally endless but the theme is the same, we are consumed with the subject to the exclusion of everything else and it feels normal.
Awesome blog Adele. Such a detailed description on why fashion is used to hide and cover our self-worth issues! It’s very true how you say, no amount of ‘dressy clothes” or “designer labels” will make us feel better about ourselves, these things give us identification with being ‘into fashion’ and ‘stylish’ but it never truly helps an individual reconnect with their inner self worth.
I agree Susan…this line is deeply touching and profound. How different would our world be if we all dressed in this way on a daily basis.
Blown away by the beauty and depth of your expression again, Adele. A revealing blog of what clothes can do for us. All the comforts that you mention apply for fashionable people as well as for people who are not. An invitation to explore true fashion, from inside out.
Thanks Adele, this is a great contribution to the fashion industry, as are you… finally some truth and acknowledgment being brought. I love fashion, but I have long since given up dressing for the sake of that. When I dress because I feel beautiful already, and find clothes that compliment that feeling, the affect on others is very evident, not to mention how enjoyable it is just to express in this way.
These words are gorgeous Adele…”I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” They need to be on the front of every fashion magazine – it would turn the fashion world upside down!
Adele your opening line is so telling in itself ‘For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress’, that word ‘present’ really stands out. It emphasizes how so often we have an idea of how we would like to appear to others and then we go about ‘presenting’ that idea. We do it, not just with clothes but the cars we drive, the dogs we have, the partners we have, the holidays we go on, the restaurants we go to, the brand of handbag we carry…………….all driven by the idea of ‘presenting’ a certain image.
Alexis if how we would like to appear is not in harmony with how we are within (yet), it would be a forever chasing of something that we are not, and the chasing would never bring us to what we want to be, this is exactly how the fashion industry works but do not honestly tell us. It is much more awesome to just stop, be honest, accept how we are and let go of what is a perfect picture and then we realize we are simply grand and oh so enough.
I truly love your words about wearing love, “This is true fashion -fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue, it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.”
‘With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life’
Thank you for expressing on a much needed topic Adele. I could really relate to this line above, and to much of what you shared about how things have changed for you since Universal Medicine. I too am finding that the more I deepen those qualities of self love and care, my wardrobe has become much simpler, more delicate (like myself) and I am no longer afraid of what others think of how I dress. I dress for me, my clothes are just an extension of who I am.
Dear Susan,
Thank you for highlighting this line. Love graces our body and our clothing can greatly support this being seen and felt.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” I love that Adele, what a beautiful way to be choosing the clothes you wear each day. To use love as the basis of your choice of clothes feels absolutely awesome. Thank you for sharing.
Adele this is a deep and beautiful sharing of your journey to Love, and it comes through with every word you write. Thank you for being a great example of change for us all, especially women as we often get caught up in fashion fads and fancies thinking this is a reflection of who we are, but as you say it separates us from each other as we compete for the “look” that we feel defines us in the moment.
This 2nd line – “I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live” blew me out of the water. I was like WOAH, this is a power-full and honest piece of writing. I had never thought about it so succinctly but it is so true. So many of us have ‘dressed for success’, ‘dressed to be bright and bold’, ‘dressed to be sexy’ and this list could go on and on and on. But does that way we dress, actually reflect how we are living with ourselves on the inside? And are we truly taking the responsibility to live in a way that is bright and bold, successful, sexy, delicate etc….or asking our clothes to do the work? And this really could be substituted for anything – how often do we outsource what we don’t have the responsibility to live? Great commentary Adele, thank you.
Wow this really hit home Sarah ‘how often do we outsource what we don’t have the responsibility to live?’ Abdicating responsibility and expecting something e.g. clothes to fill the hole and then wondering why there is a constant sense of unease in our bodies?
True Sarah, I also dressed as the feminine one when I did not live my femaleness, the stylishly expressive one when I did not take the responsibility to speak and truly express, the androgynous one when I did not live what is the genderless equality of my soul, the list goes on…and there is so much freedom to now just dress as me, more real, more accepting, and deepening every day, the truth of who I am. The power that fashion affords us in reflection and expression of ourselves is huge, when we do not give ourselves away to it.
Adele the depth, order and clarity with which you express is deeply felt and very beautiful.
What an interesting blog! I’d never contemplated that fashion could be used in this way to hide and protect and fit in, in the way that you describe.
Once again no matter what we have, if we are disconnected to the love within, it all means nothing and we can use it like a drug.
I get we become slaves to our clothes and then this makes me ponder on what else have we not knowingly become slaves to? Thank you Adele.
True Greg – our every expression reveals a great deal. The energy we are aligned to in that moment and the choices that thereafter flow. It is easy to become a slave to any number of aspects of life when we are driven by a thirst to fulfil an emptiness inside us.
To abolish such slavery we surely must become aware of what we are aligning to -Truth or the false alternative.
‘Love is the true cool’. Love it Adele. Fashion is such a fun way to express ourselves and I love the deeper reflection you have shared with us. No outer adornment will ever match the exquisiteness we are inside.
I have also noticed the same outfit can look and feel very different on myself and reflects how I am being with myself so it is very much about the relationship with ourselves. Sometimes outfits come together seamlessly and other times nothing seems to work.
So true Marika! It’s all in how the person feels about themselves that makes the difference.
Fashion is a great way to hide. It is also an amazing and beautiful way to express ourselves when it enhances and expresses our love and light.
Yes absolutely Christoph, two polar opposite ways of using fashion and the way we dress and present ourselves to the world!
Woe Adele, I have a sense of you walking around, beaming your confidence and joy in simply being yourself these days. I am picturing you walking into a room and heads turning, not because of what you are wearing but because your sheer presence now has the power to carry such a multitude of messages about self confidence, self acceptance and self love, while not forgetting an endless list of possibilities for how we can all appreciate ourselves, regardless of what the outer layer looks like.
I loved reading every word of this Adele! I have spent my whole life completely fascinated by clothing and using it as a shield to protect myself every step of the way. I recently started a job that comes with a uniform (something new for me). I now wear black Monday to Friday. I was worried about how wearing a uniform would affect me, at the time I thought it was because I perceived the uniform would take away my ability to express myself through clothes, however, now I see that I was actually worried that I would no longer be able to use clothing as a shield to distract people from seeing me (ironic).
The funny thing is I have been able to see that I can use a plain black uniform in the same way I used a whole wardrobe of colourful clothes. It is all about the way I dress myself not about what I actually wear.
I have been wearing a uniform at work for nearly 6 years now and I have learnt over the years how little fashion has to do with who I am. I used to use clothes to hide behind if I looked good then I would feel good…..but this feeling was determined by my clothes. With a uniform everyone looks the same no one stands out. Wearing a uniform taught me that it is how I get up in the morning and how I feel about myself that matters, this is what my customers get to feel.
True Alison – it is how we feel about ourselves more so than the clothes we wear that we wear to work for the world to see. Uniforms aside, how we feel about ourselves often determines what clothes we will choose to wear and why and how we will wear them.
This is a great point you are making here Leonne. I often hear that people do not like to wear uniform as it takes away their freedom to express and their individuality. I guess that can be true if you define yourself by your looks and your clothes, however I cannot confirm that, I too have to wear a uniform at my workplace, and I still can be everything I am when I go to work.
I have just gone the opposite Leonne, from having worn a uniform for 20 plus years, to plain clothes and this has been equally exposing. From the belief that I do not have enough clothing, to is it ok to dress up (as it’s not the norm around me). It is definitely not about the clothing as I can feel exquisite in a pair of tights and singlet. The beliefs are exposing more about how I can deepen my own self-love so that what I wear actually doesn’t matter but the quality of me in what I am wearing does.
Everything is a reflection – the difference is the quality, the intention we hold in that moment. Fashion is so visual and openly and quickly judged, an industry that thrives on low self-esteem, opinions based on self worth and glorification of youth. Clothing can be an invitation to connect, a barrier to sharing, sometimes a distraction – whatever we hold is ‘reflecting’ everything about us. The choice is for us in our expression and observation to choose the quality of the lived presence and to look within, connect and be open.
Absolutely Christine “Everything is a reflection – the difference is the quality, the intention we hold in that moment”.
Our lived quality can be felt in every aspect of our life – the way in which we tend ourselves and dress does not escape this science – to cherish ourselves, to appreciate our body and its purpose and to deeply love and honour ourselves are reflected by the clothes we wear and how we wear them, inspiring others to be True. Equally, a lack of self-worth, disregard and self-abuse, a garment advertising to the world to give up on ourselves and Love and to back away from our True substance.
Adele I love your divine definition of true fashion. It is ‘The’ what to wear and absolutely works equally of all bodies, every season, across all ages and most of all fun.
I love what you’re saying here Adele. It blows the lid off what fashion is truly about. If we were to see true fashion as really our own unique essence fashioned in and through the clothes we wear, then it would mean an end to the craze, the must-have, the wannabe like and would support a move to dress ourselves as an outer reflection of the inner, of our unique quality.
Whatever you wear, you shine Adele! You are one gorgeous lady, inside and out, emanating your unique style and your inner glow is there for all to see and feel. The fashion world can only benefit by you being in it, reflecting truth and love. This blog should go into fashion magazines! As you say, ‘Love is the true cool’ and so many young girls would benefit from knowing this as their truth.
So agree Lorraine, this blog needs to be read by every woman and girl interested in fashion. Fashion today is seen and used as this tool to make up for our lack of connection, which leaves us with so much emptiness inside, unable to feel who we truly are. Once we re-connect to this gorgeous place deep inside our hearts all this stuff on the outside is merely an accessory to the beauty that shines from within.
I love the simplicity and the clarity of your writing here Adele. So exposing of how we use clothing and fashion to hide the beautiful essence we all are, which when appreciated has the greatest timelessness of fashion you could ever want. The authentic self has a beauty that is always ‘in vogue’.
And how beautiful it can be to then enjoy clothes and fashion as something to merely play with and celebrate ourselves with.
Yes it can be a lot of fun and the clothing doesn’t even have to be ‘in fashion’. You feel and look amazing because you are being yourself and making your own choices, rather than society’s take on how you should look.
Gorgeous Jeanette – “The authentic self has a beauty that is always ‘in vogue’.”
Beautifully said Jeanette and I love “The authentic self has a beauty that is always ‘in vogue’.”
We can cover up, hide, express in a safe and contained manner, portray the image we wish to adorn and chameleon like, dress from one mood, intent and emotion to the next by the clothing we wear, the labels we sport and the image we wish to portray.
In truth this is a great decoy from the limitless, abundant expression that we naturally contain within and dare not bring to the fore by such a deliberate foray of playing dress-ups or dress-downs. We can hide, cower and blend in with the crowd as we can be the centre of it but none of this is needed when we bring the true essence of who we are. The richness, vastness and open-ness of living our natural flow is in our every breath, word, action and naturally extends to how we dress and express ourself in each moment.
That is so beautifully said Deborah.
Adele your gorgeous true fashion exposé reminded me of the many occasions that I attempted to hide how I was feeling on the inside by dressing up on the outside, but I can also remember very clearly that any attempt to do so always resulted in mounds of clothes on my bed, and often on the floor, that had been discarded as quickly as I tried them on, as none of them felt right. It took me a while to realise that I would usually end up wearing the very first thing I tried on; the true impulse. Now I know that what I choose to wear is simply reflecting my inner beauty and I am having so much fun choosing clothes to buy, with my wardrobe bursting forth with all colours of the rainbow when I slide the door open, and the multi coloured light that shines out always make me smile.
I can so relate to what you share here Ingrid…When dressing for the outside world, for others, it becomes a major undertaking with doubt and indecision complicating the process, and in the end it never feels totally true – because we can feel the image looking back at us is not us, and wasnt from the start! But when dressing from that original impulse coming from within, it is simple, and the look is stunning every time – because we are expressing the truth of who we are, our exquisiteness and uniqueness is there for all to see.
Beautiful Ingrid, it makes me smile by reading this. Thank you!
I know that too Ingrid, the joy of buying new clothes just by appreciating what I am looking for that will support me in the way I am rather than to choose for the latest fashion instead which will mostly not support me in the way I feel to dress myself.
I feel since Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon came into our lives many ‘heart closets’ are expanding and the clothes closets are now containing more of the fashion that is an ‘extension of the truth’ of who we are.
So enjoyed reading your blog Adele thank you – a timeless piece.
Adele – I have a friend who is in fashion. After observing her I chose to make clothes a very important part of my life and completely changed how I dressed and how I used clothes to make me feel better or give off a certain image.
I became very good at this image and all of a sudden I found something to give my attention too. The way you describe the fashion industry is something I know first hand, and a very easy way for me as a woman to get swept up in the glamour and illusion of it all.
It has taken me a very long time to look at this fully, and accept that clothes are not a mask – but can celebrate who we truly are.
What an amazing decision to make hvmorden, if clothes are no longer worn as a mask but are a celebration of who we truly are.
Thank you Judith – yes it is a huge step especially for women given so much media talks to us about the importance of clothes. But by simply looking at our relationship with clothes, and not using them as something to define us but rather something to confirm and celebrate ourselves, the whole relationship changes with ourselves too. A lot can be learned from this gorgeous blog, and that clothes are almost an end result of how we feel about our bodies.
True fashion starts with being true to yourself. From that foundation of truth, we will dress accordingly. And with that, with a lot of love!
Yes beautifully said Mariette… if we are true to ourselves, it is with love, and the world cannot help but feel that.
Absolutely, and then if we wear a dress, jeans, snow boots or jewels, it is the love and the care that is felt.
Yes exactly, and that is what inspires another, not our dress sense, the design or cut of the clothes nor the body shape that is filling them out.
Affording ourselves the grace to know and love ourselves, takes all the angst out of how or what to wear. We simply know because our bodies tell us so, and we no longer need to be caught up in the shoulds.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” That is deeply inspiring and is felt as a very soothing warmth going through my body, like being wrapped in love.
I know…. what a lovely warm feeling that would be to then take with you to the rest of your day — and envelop everyone else in this warmth along the way!
Yes reading that line transmits a cosy feeling of being hold in love and the warmth is there to be fully surrendered to.
and I feel the love by which I did put on my clothes today and feel held in love.
Agreed Alex – thermal love!
No matter how many layers we wear, our own love keeps us truly warm and nurtured, this is a great article to share especially for people living in cold places.
If someone hasn´t understood it before, now it is pictured with clarity: True beauty comes from within and the outer expression is a natural extension and confirmation.
Yes Alex, it is truly beautiful to see one accept the beauty which naturally resides within and allow it to flow through into all that they do.
And by allowing it to flow through into all that one does we all are blessed and inspired to do the same. It reminds us of the glory of life, of the greatness that is possible to be lived in a world that is exposed for its dullness in the face of true beauty.
Beautifully expressed Alex
‘True beauty comes from within and the outer expression is a natural extension and confirmation’. Just beautiful Alex. When one claims the love within and confirms with their choice on the out, alchemy is created.
And alchemy is offered for everyone who meets me.
Adele I love the idea of a “heart closet” as this is where our true wardrobe of feelings come from. So profound.
I love this too Anne, Adele is inspiring me to choose a ‘heart closet’ to be more expressive of who I am.
I love this too Anne, a heart closet where the daily choice is love, love or love:)
Thanks Adele, I loved reading about you returning to the simplicity of always having a complete look because it is love you are wearing. Stunning.
Yes agree, the true completeness of our look is the love we are wearing, very beautifully said.
What is said here redefines fashion inside out so to speak (pun intended). It is beautifully powerful and simple. We can use fashion to keep people out just as much as we can use it to let people in and let them see all the beauty we naturally are
I love the point you are offering here Joshua, that we can use clothes to keep people out or let them in. Love truly starts with the way we dress and groom ourselves, followed by everything else that we do in a day.
And in this Judith is a responsibility as it is never nice to be around someone who is not letting us in, and hence how important it is to set the example by choosing to be as open and and loving as we can with all and our clothes are a powerful player in this
This is great Adele, when we choose love there are no worries of fitting in or not, we just shine.
Indeed Benkt, no worries to fit in or not, just shine, that is the only responsibility we have in life.
Absolutely Nico confirmed by our every choice, responsibly walking the catwalk of life.
Oh Benkt, how the teenage years could be transformed if people lived what you have shared ‘when we choose love there are no worries of fitting in or not, we just shine’
That is so true Nico any notion of fitting in evaporates when we choose love and take responsibility for every step we take.
Well Said Benkt, when we choose love we have already fitted in with the all.
Adele, I enjoyed reading this. I got to understand more clearly how we can use fashion like anything as a mask, and can demand of it what we do not give ourselves, care and self nurture. We can use anything as a protection or mask but nothing no matter how beautiful gives us beauty unless we actually live and connect to the beauty we are within, it changes the paradigm, as then we shine out and anything we wear is a confirmation of that inner beauty; we are not demanding of it that it fill us up, we are playfully expressing our beauty through it, a beauty we know and live.
Exactly, monicag2, beautifully said. No piece of garment, or any other form of masks or apparatus, can make us into what we are not claiming from within. And I so love the playfulness and non-seriousness that await us.
Monica when I read ‘ unless we actually live and connect to the beauty we are within, it changes the paradigm, as then we shine out and anything we wear is a confirmation of that inner beauty’ I was reminded of the many times that I have seen Natalie Benhayon present early in the morning in very casual wear and yet her beauty has been mesmerizing, a clear indication that the true beauty of a woman does not come from her clothes. If Natalie wore a bin liner then the audience would still be stunned by her radiant beauty.
Alexis, yes absolutely, no matter what Natalie Benhayon is wearing she is beautiful – what a great example; her beauty is there first for all to see, so naturally what she wears compliments that, and you can’t but see it. It’s not about the clothes at all, it’s about the person, and as I read these comments today I can feel how actually when we live the true beauty we are, we are nurturing us from the inside out, and so any adornments just compliment that, and my question to myself is to feel how my body is first, to nurture the quality of that rather than just being caught in looking good outside. If I take care of my quality in how I am inside me, in my body, I will naturally feel how to adorn myself and that feels so playful and fun and just simple, no trying at all.
“it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear ” – I am with you! Lets make it in vogue.
It already is Sandra. 🙂
Ah yes, I forgotten: Love is the new black 😉
I have seen people wearing their own love and they look and feel divine.
Agree with you Sandra, yesss the fashion of LOVE is timeless and hence always en vogue.
Whoever said “the sexiest outfit of all is confidence” is right. Confidence equating to our loving presence that is.
Yes, its timeless 😉
To wear one’s own love, a fashion that never expires but very much inspires.
Ah yeah – the way of expression will change but the essence remains the same: never expiring but always inspiring.
Adele, you have brought up some of my own fashion choices for me to consider, to claim and to move on from. Thank you. Dressing how I feel to is happening more and more each day, having in my closet what I want to wear is a bit more challenging, as I am continually feeling that the way I dress needs to be adjusted. Yet I had not known how I wanted to dress. Amazing is your sharing here, for I just now have felt how I want to dress. My goodness, this is huge, thank you. I have so been hiding in clothes. This is about to change.
Hi Leigh, we can tend to hide in clothes. I have had friends that wore baggy clothes all the time because they did not want to draw attention to themselves. I took a friend shopping one day and encouraged her to buy more fitted clothes; she looked and felt amazing…so, so sexy. It was not so much about the clothes but the fact she claimed how beautiful and sexy she felt and then bought clothes that reflected this.
Gorgeous Adele, I loved this line ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.’ When we love who we are it is this quality that lights up the world and shines for all to feel and see.
So true Jade. When someone loves who they are you can feel the emination of love which completely changes the look and feel of any clothes worn.
Focusing our energy on achieving perfection in one area of life (or at all for that matter), is a distraction from our hurts and the emptiness we feel as a result of not living our truth.
Wow Kate – that is so true!
Fashion can be a beautiful expression of our essence and who we truly are, a way to dress the ‘package’ to match the essence – This is ‘true fashion.’
But as with all true expressions, we can also turn them around to work against ourselves and use them to hide and protect.
Adele you’ve made some great points, fashion is part of the way we present ourselves to the world, and the way we present ourselves to the world lets it know if we care, or if we want to hide, or we’re angry, or we simply want to be noticed… you can create any persona or image with the way you dress. Or, fashion can simply present and compliment who you are and how you’re feeling that day. It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else.
Beautifully written Meg…. ‘It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else’.
So true Meg. This is a beautiful question: “who do you want to be today? You or someone else.” More and more I am choosing to be me and it feels lovely.
Love that question Meg: “who do you want to be today? You or someone else?” – so simple…and the answer would clearly and surely be oneself, though there are many who enjoy and deliberately take on another persona to escape life, to ‘be someone’ or to ‘be someone else’. When love is re-found, your simple question and the imagined answer of oneself – becomes a lived reality and truth.
Any form of escape being chosen begs the question, what are you trying to escape from? If we are trying to escape from ourselves or bury who we are, be someone else, then surely we have hurts and angst we are avoiding. Lets bring those out of the closet give them a good airing and let them go. As we develop a wardrobe or “heart closet” that has love, respect, self worth, tenderness, joy and beauty in it, anything that isn’t ‘us’, that no longer fits, is an unsuitable colour, or getting a bit tattered or worn out is naturally discarded. What remains supports and confirms us as the truly beautiful ‘us’ we were designed to be.
It is easy to be drawn into the lure of ‘being someone else’ which is the fashion industries draw card because many of us live in a way that does not nurture who we are therefore the escape from what doesn’t feel great becomes very attractive.
” you can create any persona or image with the way you dress. Or, fashion can simply present and compliment who you are and how you’re feeling that day. It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else.’ Great question Meg. Having an equal relationship with fashion so we do not use it to manipulate in any way, could the fashion industry then stop manipulating us? Dressing from how we truly feel rather than a reaction to or an expectation of could turn the fashion industry on its head.
A lot of times we might have resorted to become someone else through the clothes we wear, to feel different, to feel better, or have found ourselves going shopping to buy a dress to cheer ourselves up. There is something missing and we are using clothes to fill the gap. The gap can only be filled with us and by us. This is where developing a relationship with ourselves is crucial, becoming more honest and appreciating ourselves at a deeper level than we feel, in that moment, is currently possible. From that place our shopping choices are likely to be different too reflecting the greater esteem we hold ourselves in.
So true Meg and love your last question. I am noticing more and more the difference between fashion and style. Adele’s post highlights the transient and fickle nature of fashion and how we use it to disguise who we are, literally using clothes to hide behind fabricated masks. When we choose to show the world who we really are, allowing ourselves to express all the love we are, our whole relationship with clothes changes. Clothes are items that nurture our bodies and represent our inner qualities and there is no greater pleasure than choosing which style of clothing best represents how gorgeous we are feeling today.
I have just realised too why it felt so strange to me when my mother used to say that she would “just put my face on” before going out . She was using makeup to hide herself away from the world and make out that everything was ok. She was stepping outside herself. I found her difficult to be around then and can see how I used to try and coax her back. This coaxing back has also threaded it’s way through other relationships and it is great to know now that I do not have to waste energy on this. Just being true and truly loving in and of itself, is enough.
So true Elaine I have heard this expression “just put my face on” many times by women and this is exactly what they are doing putting on makeup to hide how they truly feel and I used to do this as well. Since attending Esoteric Women’s Health Presentations and learning that make up can be applied to express how we feel this has changed for me. Now when putting it on I use the time to truly connect with my self and deeply appreciate the beauty I am as I look in the mirror. Thus it is not just the makeup that makes me look amazing it is the beauty that radiates from with in me.
Meg I love the simplicity you bring to the whole fashion equation – “It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else.” – beautiful!
“It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else.” This is a great question to ask and one I feel not everyone answers the same. We are so used to performing in life that it has become quite normal to be someone instead of just being. So it is great to slowly unravel all the pieces of armour and masquerade to discover one’s true self bit by bit and be able to say I want to be me today and every day that follows.
It’s a great question Meg “who do you want to be today?” Because this simple question inspires an honesty that prompts us to either choose to embrace and honour who we are, or if we do consistently opt for being someone other than ourself to clearly see our choice, and know there is a possibility for this change whenever we choose.
I used to buy clothes that were other people’s taste not my own, in hindsight this is very exposing and shows me I was not connected to myself at the time and did not know my true expression with clothes. Hence ending up with a wardrobe of clothes that were not me. Buying and wearing cloths can be a great indicator of supporting you to see how well you are connected to and know yourself.
Getting dressed becomes much more interesting the more we connect to what we truly feel – dressing then becomes about how to express that today.
Agree Abby, I love feeling what to wear that day to express how I feel any particular day. Or what is needed color and style wise for the clients I am seeing that day.
Totally! It feels amazing when I really connect to my body and feel what colour and style wear, it always feels so much more authentically and truly me, than if I choose with eyes or head.
Meg you are right when you say that ‘we can create any persona or image with the way you dress’. Interestingly though I have noticed how rather than being taken in by how people present I have been able to feel the reason behind why they dress the way that they do. In fact the feeling of what is behind a person’s choice of clothes or even body shape is now the thing that is the most prominent to me.
It’s amazing how much our bodies and clothes choices tell other people about what is truly going on for us. I think it’s always wise advice to look behind what we immediately see, to what is going on within. Though often I find what is going on in the forefront is a very strong indicator of what is going on behind the scenes – if that makes sense!
Well expressed and spot on Meg – “It’s as simple as, who do you want to be today? You or someone else”. Its true every time I ‘dress for success’ I reach the quality I desired. It is a great reflection on what is possible when you go for it..
Exactly! I love your last point, I’ve been noticing recently how different I can feel if I’m spending the day at home and I used to just put old clothes on, mainly sportswear, but the difference it makes in my whole day if I actually take the same care in the way I dress as if I was going out is phenomenal. It doesn’t matter that nobody sees, I’m still expressing who I am and what I feel!
Truly Beautiful! And so gorgeous, thank you for sharing this Adele 🙂 This is the kind of piece I would love to see in a fashion magazine.
Wouldn’t that be lovely! Instead of promoting the latest fashion, that is seldom presented in a honoring way of the women wearing it for the photo shoot – publish Adele’s article with pictures of women dressed from the ‘heart closet’.
Now that is inspiration. When I was younger I would buy EVERY fashion magazine going and would go anywhere in the UK to purchase that fashion piece the magazine said was in. Now I couldn’t care less. With that inner-heart connection, I wear what I feel and feel fantastic in whatever I wear. Even if I go to the shop in my pjs, I feel the same inside as if I am dressing to go to work.
Carmin, in a recent photo shoot it was super cold, raining. The clothes were very delicate. But none of that seems to matter to many photographic teams, as all that matters is the picture that comes out. The models are left to brave the cold and the clothes can become dirtied, it does not matter. This is a reflection of the microcosmic way of how we live—just focusing on one part and not the whole. While working with a team where this is the norm, it is important to express that this is not okay. Eventually the whole team will make an effort to care about each other and not only themselves. It is really quite stunning—first the brotherhood, then everything else including the final pictures can only reflect the beauty of that.
Absolutely Fiona, this would be great to see written in a fashion magazine exposing that fashion does not make you who you are but that fashion is an expression of who you are.
Quite simple a concept really isn’t it? Yet society simply won’t take it there…yet.
Wouldn’t that blow the fashion world apart Fiona – an article that supports women to wear what expresses their true selves and not what is dictated to from the fashion industry. The pages would look oh so different!
Absolutely Fiona this is an article for Vogue or any other fashion magazine. This would support the fashion world and for sure would have a positive impact on how fashion is presented – that it is from people for people and not something out there we have to achieve to be someone.
Very true Rachel. Nothing of fashion is about the clothes or the pictures, it is about us, more accurately, it is about what is within us then expressed out. I have realized that the so many years this industry has gifted me is the opportunity to express this awesomeness. Feeling the truth of this, I must say fashion is actually truly cool, and we are/it is much much more than what we have defined cool to be.
Agree Adele, we just use fashion the wrong way. We need it, are dependent on it to give us something. When we start to live fashion from the knowing of our inner beauty and absoluteness, fashion will start to serve us and not reduce us anymore.
I totally agree with you Adele, fashion is ‘truly cool’. Wearing the outfit that feels true through our connection to ourselves and expressing this out through fashion to others is making a statement. We are on the catwalk 24/7 with an audience that is heaven if we so choose – love it! I’m going to strut my stuff today!
What a great idea! An article on the true essence of fashion and how we can use this as a natural extension of our expression, rather than being enslaved to it.
I agree Fiona, a piece of writing we need in fashion magazines.
So true Fiona, Imagine If fashion magazines talked about the fact that it is not really what your wear that stands out but the quality of your being that wears what you wear. So if you are feeling confident, loving and honoring of self, then what you wear is going to reflect this and you are going to look and feel amazing. Headlines could be ‘BUILD SELF LOVE AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL ‘
Very True. Build Self-Love and your lived amazingness will bring any wardrobe to Life.
(Could put many a fashion label out of business).
Yes, instead of quizzes about how to better ourselves we could show amazing pictures of people looking very, very different in the same clothes by the way they wear them. This would be truly educating and anyway reflecting what everybody experiences with fashion.
Love that title Mary-Loiuse ‘BUILD SELF LOVE AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL.’ We have a magazine that honours women for who they really are – http://www.wilmagazine.com
So true Rik the only magazine that I have read, and I have been reading magazines for forty-four years, that actually honours women and truly supports them to be in their natural self.
That is an awesome title marylouisemyers! I would like to submit to the fashion section of this so very cool magazine you have suggested Rick http://www.wilmagazine.com
Definitely Fiona. I feel Adele is already changing the fashion industry through what she brings, to see this article out there would really help the reader stop and consider that we are more than the clothes we wear.
I agree Fiona, this definitely deserves to be in one, and lets see what happens 🙂
Yes, we as a society could be inspired by the fact that true fashion comes from inside of us instead of what is fed to us by external forces.
Yes Fiona, that would be a true fashion game changing article!
What a great blog!